This is my first mixed bag guest blog. My guest blogs aren’t always long enough for a blog of their own – just as some of my stories aren’t long enough & so I created the mixed bag with some short stories. Here are a couple of short stories from 2 different guest bloggers .
So I went on a date with a guy my friend had previously dated. We msd beforehand and he asked if I could get any weed and we could have a joint. So I sourced some weed and we met up at a pub and had a drink. He asked if I wanted to go back to his place and have a joint… So we went back. I rolled it up and he mostly consumed the whole lot to himself, and it was a large joint! He sat chatting on the rug, when he got up to go to the fridge, next minute – bang he fainted and hit his head on the floor.
I was like, oh fuck, I asked if he was ok, he mumbled blergh leave me for a bit…. So I put a pillow under his head and waited… He had fallen asleep and he wasn’t getting up any time soon, so I decided to bail. It was now 1am. So I try to get out and I’m stuck. He lives in an secure city townhouse and I can’t find the button to release the gate! I sit and SOS to friends, but they are asleep. I go back in another hour later… His GIRLFRIEND comes to the gate and can see him through the glass panel on the door, and sees me and it looks like I have killed him! She starts screaming, he starts stirring and wakes a bit, and says – that’s my kinda ex girlfriend – hide, she is crazy!! So I run and hide behind a couch and wait… He stays on the floor, his phone is ringing (It’s her).
I wait about 30mins until I hadn’t heard her for a while, go to him and shake him awake. “YOU NEED TO LET ME OUT” He rose and stumbled to a panel which had the gate unlock mechanism, opened the door and said RUN!! SHE COULD BE HIDING. So I ran as fast as I could to my car, locked all the doors and then I just pissed myself laughing.
Just unbelievable. Worst date ever.
I meet Henry on Tinder and we match. I am chatting to a couple of guys at this time, but he and I get along and he suggests a date straight away. We swap numbers and I am pleased to get a “Good Morning” text each day, and lots later in the day to see how I am. It feels like he is messaging me when he is on his breaks at work. After the guys that I had met that showed no commitment it was great to finally feel like this guy is really showing an interest. We chat a lot via text – to the point the kids ask who I am talking to and we make a date to meet one night after work when the kids are having dinner with their dad. I was hoping for coffee or a drink but instead he suggests we meet at a local beach and go for a walk. I am waiting at the beach at the right time, starting to think I have chosen the wrong part of the waterfront when he finally arrives. He gets out of the car and after we have worked out that we are who we think each other is we sit down. We chat easily for over an hour and I am late for my one gym class a week because we are getting along so well.
We continue to chat via text message, he is messaging me each day to ask how I am and things are going to well I ask my parents to have my children while I meet him at the river for another “date”. I a waiting at the river in the car park at 1.30 when we have agreed to meet. At 1.50 I am still waiting and shoot of a text message asking if he is still coming. He replies to say he is on his way, another 15 minutes later he arrives. He gives no apology for being late (one of my pet hates – show some respect for my time!) and we make our way over to the other side of the river. A red flag had popped up when I joked via text that I thought maybe he had changed his mind. My sense of humour has always been to make a joke at my own expense and when I feel uncertain I joke hoping that my fears will be squashed. He had replied saying no, he had just had visitors turn up unexpectedly and he didn’t seem to get the joke. We sit on the other side of the river and chat, sitting on the ground on a picnic blanket gets a little uncomfortable. We have a pause when he asks if he can kiss me, he does and the kisses are nice. I want to keep kissing – I am loving the affection – but he says something about getting an erection and being embarrassed so we don’t kiss any more. We have a date lined up for a weeks time, the next night we are both taking our children to an event that comes to town. I am already overthinking how I am going to handle it if we run into each other.
When I am at the event, I send a message saying “Hey, haven’t seen you at the *** tonight” – he replies to say his plans had changed. In an attempt at humour I reply with “Oh, that’s ok, I thought maybe you were trying to avoid me!” with a face palm emoji. I am shocked by his response a minute later which reads “I don’t know what you are trying to insinuate but I don’t appreciate it”. I am shocked, and send another message telling him that I wasn’t trying to insinuate anything, and is he suggesting we shouldn’t see each other anymore? He replies saying he really wanted to have that conversation in person but yes. I reply saying I assume dinner is off then? He replies again with yes, I ask if I can call him, he says no. I try to call twice but he won’t answer.
The next morning, I receive a text message saying good morning and asking how I am. I regret it now but at the time I replied saying good morning and I am glad he had messaged me. That’s the last I heard from him… I saw him in the supermarket a few months later when I was with someone I had started to date. I tried to dodge him and not meet his eye! Looking back I think I dodged a bullet there!
I hate to say it, but dating doesn’t discriminate! Doesn’t matter who you are, there is always a douche canoe out there!