This is a bit premature in the story timeline with Silverlining but I know you all want a Motocross post to find out what is happening with him! So this is a shorter one, because I don’t want to give too much away but you need some answers to your questions! Hahaha.
My family don’t end up coming over on Sunday so I send Motocross a text being that I sort of expected to hear from him later in the evening about when he is coming over, he hasn’t ever bailed or not come over when he said he would, he’s been quite consistent and regular actually, why would tonight be any different?! What woman at this point, wouldn’t think this is going somewhere?! I’m not sure what men are thinking, I do have some male readers & would love your opinion of this guy, is Silverlining right about Motocross?
I leave it till really late in the afternoon to message him. “Hey, my family isn’t coming over tonight… If you’re keen to catch up earlier tonight” He replies that he’s just about to finish his last ride (WHAT?!) & he’ll come after that. Even his lies are getting confused, wasn’t he in Darwin this weekend? Now is he trying to say that he’s been riding at the show? Because the rides were much later than this when I went to the show last weekend. Fuck, I have to get to the bottom of this. Ok so tonight is the night, I am going to ask him some questions I need to find out what the deal is with this dude because honestly, it’s doing my head in.
At 6:30 pm he comes over, no kiss, ho hug hello, as usual we sit on the opposite ends of the couch & he talks at nauseum about his cousin who had a stroke, he talks about Melbourne & his trip there but not his trip to Darwin, he talks so much oddly – the most he’s ever talked really, in detail & genuinely seems sad about what’s going on in his life, that I just don’t get to ask him anything about us (for lack of a better word), I know you all hate me for not doing so, I hate me too, I mean I deserve some answers to my questions, however, how can I ask what the fuck is going on when he has talked at length about his cousin who is possibly dying, who is my age?! FUCK. Motocross sort of finally opening up… When he isn’t talking about his cousin, he’s asking me about my trip to Brisbane. Like he knows I am going to ask him questions. He asks where I am staying, what I’m doing there & how long I am going to be there, so many questions & the way he asks, almost like he is hinting for an invitation.
When he finally stops talking, he makes a move on me & we kiss. We haven’t had sex in almost 2 weeks – which is like a lifetime for me but we have seen each other a fair few times so I’m still not sure what the whole no sex thing is about. The sex isn’t that great tonight to be honest. He doesn’t even seem to get as hard as he usually does, I don’t even cum – not bothering to even try at this point. But lying there afterwards he says that he felt revirginised. I assume that’s a good thing that he now feels no longer like a virgin?! I mean he’s seen me, we could’ve had sex, it’s not like I’ve been turning him down!
I get up quicker than I usually would, I tend to wait for the guy to make the move to leave, but this time I am actually over this guy… I mean what is his deal, he didn’t get that hard, he doesn’t seem interested, I now know that Silverlining is Noodle, I am done trying to work out what Motocross wants. I don’t know what is going to happen with Silverlining, but I know that I don’t ever want a relationship like Motocross is offering me.
I stand in front of the heater, in the most unsexy pjs I could find & bend over (I don’t remember why now, but I remember bending over – probably warming up my hands) I also recall with Boyfriend every time I bent over to do something mundane like pack our dishwasher, he would dry hump me from behind, I always thought it was weird & didn’t understand it – I guess because it was the first time I had lived with a man. Now I know that this is what men do, even if you’ve just fucked them, that it’s now weird when I bend over & a guy I’m with doesn’t dry hump my ass from behind with a boyish giggle.
As I stand up though, Motocross comes up behind me like he knows that I am not feeling this with him or something, he hugs be from behind & I find myself leaning back into him. FUCK. He says goodbye & walks to the door hugging me again a goodbye saying he’ll message me tomorrow. I laugh & he says what. I mean I’ve had this conversation with him before. I have told him not to say he’ll message if he’s not going too because I will wait for the message like a loser. So tonight I just say you won’t message so don’t say you will. He says he will, I roll my eyes knowing he won’t & by 11:30 pm he is gone.
I am now on holidays for three weeks from work, just for some time off & to go to Brisbane to visit my friends. I have to go into work to do some things on the Monday & I wait for him to message – all fucking day, you guessed it, I never get a message. I am honestly going to just let him go, but when “Spoiler Alert” I organise to catch up with Silverling & it doesn’t happen (story to come obviously) I feel shit about myself & text Motocross “Hey, thanks for the message yesterday hahaha. Just wondering what you’re up too? My friend just bailed on lunch & I’m now just sitting at home. Wondered if you’re free?” I’m dressed, I look pretty, why waste it?! He replies 20 minutes later saying “Hey Yeeah actually through about it last night but was to late to message I thought. I’m doing supercross testing today with me mechanic. I’m sorry I’m not free tho” I don’t reply, which maybe I should’ve but I don’t & then I don’t hear from him again.
But again feeling sorry for myself, later in the week when my family are leaving & ask how his week was. He says that he’s had a good week & flying home tomorrow, meaning he’s not in Adelaide to see me like he usually does. I tell him that I go away Wednesday afternoon that if he would like to catch up before I go, to let me know. He replies the next say saying we’ll see how we go. I am like you’re a fuckwit Motocross I’m done with this so I write back “Well, I’ll leave it up to you if you want to catch up, I’m not going to keep making all the plans.” I expect that I’ll never hear from him again, but when my phone starts buzzing 30 minutes later, it’s fucking Motocross! WHAT THE FUCK does he want?! We chat for a bit & he says that he really wants to catch up but he’s not in Adelaide at the moment, he apologises & seems sincere then he says that he ‘was going to surprise my in Brisbane.’ Stupidly, I am a fuck wit who smiles like a wanker, then gives out my itinerary. So he didn’t need to call, that was his out to ghost me, so surely this guy is sincere?
OMG, he’s going to come ‘surprise’ me in Brisbane, this is so exciting! I start thinking about how the logistics of this will work… Am I just a loser thinking he will actually come?!