Including today’s post, there are only 15 posts left! (Which include the rest of my fiction) have you got any predictions on how it will end? I’m excited to get this all out…
As if 2021 isn’t a shit enough year for everyone, but for me, lets go through a few things. My friend has moved out – still not talking to me, I’m fighting my ex workplace, I am unemployed – I have my hobby business at least there to keep my mind active, I am still fucking my now married ex boyfriend on a regular basis, my 40th birthday is looming & dating has become an absolute disaster, that I know this is it for me. I am not going to date anymore. I have lost a couple of other friends in 2020/2021 with the longer I take off work the harder it is to feel connected to the world outside my 2 puppies & cat.
On top of all that, my dad has a heart attack – luckily it was mild enough that he is ok now & had to have a couple of stents put in his heart but he is ok. Now my dad & I are very close, I call him when I have a decision to make, I get him to help me with handman work I need done around my house. So this was hard for me to take. But finding out the reason behind his heart attack was worse. I am sure I have mentioned before that my parents are hoarders, their front yard has 5 cars in it, there is piles of pavers & old car batteries. There is just shit everywhere – stuff that might be useful one day. Dad didn’t tell me or my siblings but they were sent a letter from the council that their yard needs to be cleaned up or they will be fined. While dad was moving things around the yard he had the heart attack. So when he got out of hospital, he couldn’t do much but we ordered a skip & because I wasn’t working, I was able to load up the skip for him.
Where’s the dating story, I hear you ask?! Well, there is a lot of stuff in the backyard that dad was going to do up, or fix up that is now basically trashed from years of bugs & weather exposure. So there are a few things I can salvage & convince him to let me sell on facebook market place.
There’s a car, toy thing. Not sure what it is but it’s got Valvoline all over it. I get a few different people asking if it works, if we have a charger etc. I’m like dude look at the pics, it’s a fucking dust bowl. When someone out the other side of town messages & says he really wants it & can’t come till next week but will pay me via direct deposit. Everyone else I didn’t get a good vibe from so I allow this guy into my back account & send him my number in case when I mark it as sold the listing sometimes disappears.
When he messages to say that he’ll come pick it up from my parents house, I’m hoping dad will go out & complete the transaction, but dad doesn’t & I have to deal with the guy. I don’t really realise it at the time but he’s cute & I am blatantly flirting with him like a fucking creepy chick! He’s flirting back as I help lift it into his car & when I go inside I am flustered that my parents ask me what happened. I giggle like an idiot & then lightly stalk the boy on facebook.
Weeks go by I have forgotten about the cute interaction with Valvoline & started a new job, a job I have no idea how I got, it’s a dream that I got it because I love what I do & I am working in the industry that my previous boss had told me that I would never work in – ever. (Again I can’t give much away about my career, I do seem to have niche jobs, in niche industries!) But here I am doing a job I am good at – so even though my previous boss will probably never know I am smug about the fact I got a job I really like doing, without being berated every day.
So when I get a message from Valvoline showing me pictures of the car he did up – I’d said on the day I met him after he said he was going to clean it up for his man cave, that I wanted to see pictures to show dad. He did a great job, it looks amazing to be honest! I am glad I chose him to buy it. But the chats keep going, somehow we both keep replying even though really, the transaction is over. We talk for days, weeks even everyday until we swap numbers (again) & we chat on there too… We talk most days & it’s definitely flirty.
When we arrange to actually meet after talking about how much we love brunch, we decide on brunch then a movie, the new Cruella movie. Before I meet him, I decide that this is my last first date ever. If this goes well, if this goes badly, I don’t even care. This is the last date I am going on. I can not do anymore forced conversation, I can not do any more fun dates with a message afterwards then them saying they don’t like me.
Anyway we meet for brunch, he is shorter than I remember. He has perfect teeth & he is cute, there isn’t as much chemistry as I remember the day we met, but I still enjoy his company.
As we go to order we are told we can’t order brunch, it’s 11:00am & the lunch menu is only available. We both look at our watches it’s 11:01am & if they had of served us right away, it would still be brunch menu. Anyway we end up having to order schnitzels, which is weird for this early in the morning & since I had expected poached eggs, I am not prepared for this. The date goes well, nothing much to write home about (or blog about!) but we chat & continue to chat again for weeks, until we meet for an actual brunch again. We get brunch this time. Again, not the chemistry I remember but still a good date & we kiss on the cheek hello & goodbye.
He’s flirty & funny but I don’t really know what he is after – so I think fuck it. I’ll just ask. Typical man answer he says that he isn’t really looking for anything but happy with whatever comes his way – ok fuckwit, you have someone asking what you want, you either want it or you don’t. Don’t dick me around!!
But after that conversation over a couple of days, he backs off, I tell him to add me on facebook which he does immediately, loving every photo I post but I never see him again. The old chestnut of how far I live away from him (but he said he didn’t mind driving, live driving blah blah blah!), how set up he is out north, how set up I am south, plus he has his daughter. We just never never see each other again but often he’ll comment on my snapchats but it seems while I wasn’t sure what I wanted from him – perhaps to explore the chemistry at least kiss the fucking guy on the mouth at some point, but before we can ever get to that it looks as though I have been benched in the friend zone.
Now all I have to wait for is him to change his profile picture to his stunning new girlfriend that he’ll find now that he’s dated me…