Mechanic #3

I don’t hear from Mechanic for a while, when he randomly starts messaging me again – well he’d been messaging sporadically but not as regular as he had been. So we chat a bit & he wants to see me again, I am not just going to just let him come over to my house & fuck him after all this time, he can meet me for a drink first – be a gentleman. I need to have some self respect here. It’s been over 2 months since we saw each other last, yes I was overseas for 4 weeks of that, but he could’ve seen me since I got back, I mean he could’ve even been consistently messaging me, but he hasn’t.

We meet at a different local pub to the one we initially met at, but still nearby my house, he dicks me around with what time he can get there, which fucks me off since I am giving this guy another chance. I’m there already (which I hate being first) when he rocks up, in his dirty work uniform (because he’s been doing a cash job for a friend that took longer than he expected, apparently) looking grubby, greasy & a little older (somehow) but hot as fuck! Whoa…

We have a couple of drinks at the pub, the conversation flows really easily, like there was no 2 month gap. He tells me how good I look & he wishes that he had time for a shower. I find myself piecing back together my life plan I had in my head with him.

He talks a lot about his new Ford ute that he just got, it’s a hotted up purple thing – I’m a Holden girl so he loses points for getting a Ford but it’s not a deal breaker, if it is as HOT as he says it is. He challenges me to drive it… I silently thank my dad for making my siblings & I all learn to drive manual cars when we got our licenses & I take Mechanic’s keys, kissing him quickly on the lips as I give him mine. I figure it’s ok for him to drive my work car being he works where these cars are serviced, so he’d probably driven it before anyway. I get in his car, put the key in & turn it, but it won’t start, I try turning the key with my foot on the brake, with my foot on & off the clutch. But I can’t work out how to turn it on. FUCK. I don’t want to look like a blonde bimbo who can’t even start a fucking car. He drives up next to me & winds down the window with a fucking cheek y look on his face, just as I find a power button. I press it & the car starts, it’s loud & sounds so good. I hear him laugh as I accelerate out the carpark, showing off, hoping I don’t fuck this up, I am in heels! & I’m trying to impress this guy.

We get back to my house & he is impressed. He says that he didn’t think I’d be able to start it without his left, let alone drive it & was surprised I even knew how to start it (well that was a fluke that I found the button but I’m not a compete idiot). But of course I didn’t tell him that my dad made me learn to drive a manual & all my cars have been manuals, I drive an automatic because that’s what work give me. But I just smile smugly. He asks if he can have a shower because he’s really dirty from working at his mates place, so he’s kinda covered in car grease. I get him a towel & show him to the bathroom. I get us both a red wine & wait for him to shower. He takes a lot longer than I would’ve if I had a shower at his house – but I hope that’s because he’s comfortable or maybe he just doesn’t give a shit.

He gets out & I’m waiting for him in my bedroom, so he walks in & I drop to my knees & suck his cock straight away as he lets the towel drop. We have sex, which is kinda wild sex including my 2nd experience with anal, before I say to him that I want to fuck him in that hot little car of his. I’m not really sure why, I mean we’re at my house in my beautiful king sized bed, we’ve both been drinking, but I think he likes that idea because minutes later we’re back in his car, me bra & pantieless driving down to the beach to fuck in this sexy ass car. We get to the beach, we kiss with such passion, to be honest I am probably more drunk than I should be for this, but we work it out in a tiny ute cab when I slide the condom on him & we fuck for a bit before he takes it off & cums all over my bare chest. I’m covered in cum when we’re done & oddly I kinda like it. I think that’s a first for me, a guy cumming on me, I definitely won’t just let any guy do this, but I do like it with him.

We go back to my house & we fuck again, drinking more, getting more drunk that I spill my red wine in my bed & all over my carpet in my bedroom. (The stain still remains!) Fuck I am more drunk than I realise & I wonder if he should’ve just driven us to the beach & back. I’m not sure how drunk he is. It’s 1:00 am when we stop this sexcapade session & he rolls away & he ends up sleeping over, so I’m assuming he’s either crashed out or he’s too drunk to drive or maybe, just maybe he likes me enough to sleep over.

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We wake up in the morning & I am a little worse for wear, I can’t believe this guy has slept over… It’s a school night too (aka weeknight). I basically begged Origin to sleep over & after months he still wouldn’t. This guy, I didn’t even ask nor did he ask, yet he’s just spent the night at my house, including spooning me a little. I like having a man sleepover – though I don’t sleep all that well when they do. I haven’t had a guy sleep over in a while. I am very aware not to let that poison my mind into thinking that I like the guy just because he sleeps over.

He gets up & has another shower, I am very aware now as I wake, that I slept covered in his cum (something kind of sexy & naughty about that), so I think about joining him in the shower but I chicken out, we’ve woken up late & both have to get to work. I wait for him to leave before I jump in the shower myself. When I get out, I see his sunglasses sitting on my chest of draws in my bedroom. Was that intentional? So that I have to message him? Or so that he’d have to see me again? He doesn’t seem like that kind of guy to play this game, I mean if he wants to see me, I think he’s the type to just see me. But I go anywhere without my sunnies, they are always on the top of my head, even at night sometimes… (Yes at night!) It hurts my eyes when I see other people squinting in the sun, so this must be a deliberate act, no one leaves their sunnies behind, surely?!

#IBD4U

Guest Blogger: The Impossible Situation

I hate the What If’s as I’ve said before in my What If blog post. I think sometimes we have to take the path that is there for us at the time… Timing is everything!

The Impossible Situation

So… I fell for my best friends ex.

We are now dating exclusively.

I know, I know- massive girl-code violation. Don’t hate me yet though.

He and I started chatting online. At first, he didn’t recognise me (it had been some time since he’s seen me). I knew exactly who he was and so did she. She even encouraged me to chat to him, if anything just to be a tease. He also had posted a photo she felt was inappropriate, and wanted to know what he had to say about it.

He and I continued talking, and – much to my surprise- actually had a lot of common ground. After all the fuckboys who were more interested in my cup size than my brain, this intellectual chatting was a breath of fresh air. He’s an artist, and asked for my to collaborate with him on a body of work. He came to the city to meet me and discuss ideas.

It was here that he first kissed me. If I’m being honest with myself, that was the moment things got heavy for me. That seemingly innocent, insignificant little kiss turned my world on its head- I just couldn’t admit that. I also couldn’t admit that, had we been somewhere more private- I would have jumped him then and there. But at that time, I couldn’t be honest with myself- so I got mad at him.

I knew there were very few ways that this impossible situation could turn out. Most of them were what I perceived to be bad at the time. So I fought against it. I knew I had to tell her. I agonised for a week over what to say. I was an absolute mess.

When I finally saw her and told her- she burst into fits of laughter. She told me that if I wanted to pursue something with him I could and that she had no problem with it. At this stage, I could only see myself being friends with him, and that was enough for me.

Part of me doubted him. From the stories I’d heard about him over the years, I just didn’t think that he was who he was when talking to me. I regarded him with a lot of scepticism and he wore it. He understood why I felt how I did.

He’d also read my blog, and thought more of me for being open and honest about my experiences. There was a confrontation about some online content between my friend and her ex and I got pulled into the middle of it.

At this point, I was so torn, because I could see and understand both points of view and I wanted to help both of them. I chose my friend that day and told him to back off me a little; to respect my boundaries and stay my friend without hoping for more.

He and I continued to talk. Even though things were terse between him and my friend, I just couldn’t stop. Talking to him every day was just habit now. We enjoyed talking to each other and sharing our day.

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My feelings changed completely when I got sick. I ended up in hospital and he rushed to my side, knowing I was scared and in pain. When I got out, he stayed with me for a week and cared for me, making sure I was comfortable and resting and not overdoing it.

He got nothing out of it except my company and he still chose to do it. When he did this, it opened my eyes to the side of him I point blank refused myself to see. I never wanted to think of him in terms of being someone I could be with, because he was my friends ex.

I couldn’t deny it anymore. I wanted to know just what potential we have.

I did what I felt was right and asked my friend. She gave me the all- clear and I followed my heart and pursued him.

Once we became a couple, things fell apart between my friend and I, as well as our mutual friends.

She wasn’t as OK with it all as if been led to believe, and now I was a traitor and a bad friend. Most of our mutual friends have been really passive aggressive towards me, which is beyond immature, seeing as we are all adults. I chose to ignore it all and try to be the bigger person, even though the venom hurt.

Here’s the kicker- I’m happier now than I have been in a long time, and I don’t regret my decision to date him.

We may not have got together in a conventional way, but the end justifies the means. I could have chosen to stay in my box and never aim for happiness. But I selfishly chose my own happiness and though I still feel guilt from time to time, the whole experience has been worth it.

He and I may last a lifetime; we may not even last a year- but I’ll never have to wonder “what if?”.

She-Wolf xx

Here is the link to her blog: https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/155174584/posts/54

#IBD4U

Milky #6

I know! I know, I know what you’re all thinking! I’m thinking it too. Trust me! Why am I even talking to Milky again? What does he want this time? Again the guy who I haven’t spoken to in 5 months is back, for what? He couldn’t get a root elsewhere, so is now back for more? Who knows I don’t bother asking, I just engage with him, while keeping my guard up.

We see each other once before I go away to the UK, but I have just met Mechanic & am keeping my options open, when I see Milky for the first time in 5 months since I said goodbye, I am SO not attracted to him at all – I am not sure what I was thinking. Especially since I think that the Mechanic is so much better looking. Milky is a little scrawny, only a tiny bit taller than me, hairy & kinda shy. He comes over to my house, we go through the same routine of watching TV, drinking wine, having the same sex as we always have – him standing at the end of the bed, me lying on the edge of the bed with my legs in the air… It’s boring. Sometimes he mixes it up, but not all that often.

He sleeps over & it’s kind of annoying actually this time around because he doesn’t sleep with the fan on & I do – Every. Single. Night. I don’t think I told you this but once in the very beginning, he actually went to sleep on the couch because he got too cold sleeping in my room. So I never used to turn the fan on when he slept over & he’d only turn his on if it was hot, because I thought I liked him, it didn’t bother me so much, even though I’d sleep like shit. Now when he stays over I don’t turn it on, making me grumpy! So I start to hate him sleeping over, I mean I never sleep very well with a guy next to me anyway because I’m not used it but I sleep with the fan on for the white noise. I know it makes no sense in August to have the fan on while sleeping under blankets, but I don’t care.

Milky #6

In the morning, we have the usual sex, then I kick him out to go to the gym by 9:00 am on Saturday morning, I am determined to get fit this year! I am not going to let him distract me with sexcersie!! & after last night just hanging watching TV, I’m kind of bored with him… It’s like it took me getting some distance from the first guy who really was the first friends with benefits (FWB) I have had, that I thought I liked when actually, I was just caught up in the fact that he was a repeat caller, not that I actually liked him. OMG does that even make sense? Hahaha.

Anyway, I go away for the whole month of September to the UK & see him shortly after I get back being that he is the only one that I seem to be able to see, Mechanic has been stuffing me around so I just catch up with Milky at his house. Again, it’s the same. We hang, watch TV & fuck the same way we always do. Why is this guy boring me, I mean only a few months ago I thought I was having the best sex of my life, now I am bored with him? Is it me or is it him? Or is it that the sex with Mechanic is way better, or even other guys recently, am I better in bed because of Milky round 1?

We message every now & then, we have a joke about my pillows & the bambillo range you can buy on infomercials, my pillows on my bed are expensive as fuck, they’re Sheridan memory foam, I love them. But Milky hates them & brings his own pillow to my house to sleep. I am so funny & crack jokes, mainly because he thinks I’m so rich – which is weird being that his house is probably worth more than mine. But I crack jokes about owning the bambillo empire & he plays along, it’s probably the only time he has a sense of humour I like. I’m probably making him sound worse than he is. But I am feeling like I am beyond what he can offer me now. We talk about this website called Fetlife, I didn’t know what it was but basically it’s a kinky facebook. I join & see what it’s all about. Milky is on there too & we become friends. He doesn’t have regular facebook, so I think this is a fun site to possibly make some new friends or share pics, learn a bit more & show a different side of me. The profile consists of recording all the fetishes I have, things I want to try & I start writing some erotica. (I actually have written quite a bit of fiction in the past, mostly like teen romance stuff, however this erotica I shared on Fetlife is the first time I had ever shared my writing with anyone – I get quite a bit of positive feedback. I am considering posting them here…)

I don’t see him for another month, I am drunk as fuck at my house messaging him while I have friends over, this is a blatant booty call. I have friends over for a home cheesefest since they cancelled it (my favourite event of the year) this year, I was devastated so I had my own at home with a few friends. He says that he’s coming over & I think he’s going to meet my friends but by the time he gets there they’ve all left. He was jumping in the shower at 8:00 pm, but doesn’t get to my house until 10:00 pm. I give him some wine & I drink more, but upon reflection of photos of me that night put up on Facebook later, I did not need more wine! Finally we have different sex, We have sex in the kitchen, in my accent chairs in my lounge room, the floor & on the ottoman… It’s good to not just have sex on the edge of the bed again. We somehow break the chair legs of the accent chairs, probably because I am so drunk I am fucking him like a crazy drunk chick, straddling the chairs.

I don’t hear from him for a couple of days until he messages me to tell me that I left claw marks on his neck… (oh well, not my fault, he likes it kinky!) I was covered in bruises, which isn’t hard really, I bruise so easily. I don’t remember much from the night, so he reminds me that he suggested fucking on the bonnet of my friends car (a work car) in my front yard, apparently I agreed to that. (WTF – my front yard isn’t private!) I also apparently fell asleep holding his dick in my hand… Oh well done! Fuck. He also reminds me that my jaw locked while I was sucking his cock in the kitchen… OMG I forgot about that… Now let me explain this, I do have jaw issues where it locks when I yawn or open too wide for food (yes food), I have exercises to help & ease the pain, but this is the first time it’s locked during sex. How fucking embarrassing. He was so good about it though, making sure I was ok. I also apparently asked him to tie me to something, which he knows I am not ready for yet, so he knew to back off, I’m glad he isn’t a wanker that just took advantage of me being too drunk to function.

#IBD4U

Dom Dom

I meet Dom Dom on the anonymous app (seems to be working out for me more than bloody online dating!) & the first thing he asks me is if I am kinky, I say that I am but that I am also still new to it & he asks to add me on the chat app. I agree & he immediately chats to me & says that he has a kinky group that he can add me too, but there are rules. Rules, really? I’m semi new to this app too & I don’t know what this shit is. He sends them to me, about not private messaging (PM) someone without permission & that I must send a live face pic to him to prove that I am real. I think this is bullshit & I am not going to send it. But he keeps talking to me & I do eventually send him a face picture. (I learn later that the rules of no PM thing & live face pics is very common on this app)

He says that I am “too hot” to be added to the group (Errr, what?) & he wants to keep me for himself, he says that he doesn’t want other people talking to me. I don’t think much of it, in fact I feel pretty special that he’s chosen me – his picture is pretty cute. But as we talk, the main question I ask men now is if they are single, because I hate that they don’t tell you. He says that he is married (OH FFS!) but that they never have sex (So that makes it ok to look elsewhere?), that she’s not kinky at all, so when they do have sex it’s very vanilla & boring for him because he’s very dominant but he loves her & won’t leave her. I figure that this won’t go anywhere & so I make no effort to talk to this guy, I do ask him to add me to the kinky group when we do chat, about 1000 times but he won’t, he says that he’ll get too jealous if other guys hit on me & he can’t have me. What a crock of shit!052816 (11)He messages me ‘Hi’ everyday & I find myself actually liking waking up to his message every morning, like some sort of loser. This guy is married, what is the point? He’s a school teacher (if that’s even a true fact about him) & I chat to him most of the day, obviously when he’s available or not with his wife. We eventually swap skype accounts, where he helps me create my fake name, I become Kristy Cumsalot, my alter ego (mainly because we don’t swap real names) & it’s not long before the chats turn into skype calls.

The calls… Oh the calls, almost every morning he asks to call & I stupidly let him. He knows how to get me going, his voice, there is something about his voice, like velvety butter or something, so sexy & he knows how to turn me on… He makes me call him Sir, which I hate, maybe because he’s the first man to ask me to do that, maybe because it goes against my feminist side to let a man tell me what to do, but for some reason, I find myself obeying him… Every time I say Sir without being prompted, not only do I shock myself, but he lets out a little hmm sounds followed closely by Good Girl.

What’s so bad about this is that he’s the only guy showing any real interest in me at the moment, I mean I have just fucked a potential felon (See Unemployed) & I am at an all-time low with how I feel about myself & this is the type of guy I attract – a guy that can’t hurt me. How desperate am I for a bit of affection & love that I am so willing to chat to a married guy & have phone sex with him every few days? What kills me is that I am always available, I am always waiting for him to message me, always allowing him to call. When will there be a guy waiting by his phone for my message? FFS!

Around this time too, I’ve been watching a lot of porn, like I’ve said before I go through stages with porn, but I usually find a couple that I like & watch them over & over, I am more specific about what type of porn I watch.  I also become obsessed with different sex toys, buying just about everything, thinking maybe when/if I ever meet this guy we can use them. He tells me of a fantasy of meeting me on a hotel room, he’ll be there already & I’ll rock up in a tench coat, he’ll then be dominant & give me a true submissive experience. I buy some lingerie, some corsets, high heels, masks, toys… I buy so much stuff in the hopes that he & I will live out this hotel fantasy.

I also literally crack the shits with him at least once a week – so much so, that I wonder why he keeps messaging me, he’ll ask me if he can call whenever he is free & I’d run late to whatever I am going to because he wanted to jerk off while listening to me cum down the phone line. It pisses me off… When I want to chat to him, he’s offline, it’s always on his terms. He says that he’ll try to make more time for me, which of course we know is not true, nor will he. Its just a little carrot that he dangles & I chase like a stupid white rabbit. What the actual fuck is wrong with me?

We chat for months, this routine of us chatting every day because he says ‘hi’ before I wake up every single day – I never initiate a chat with him ever, then him calling every few days or so to hear me cum while he shows me him rubbing his cock in his work car park. He says he wants to meet me, but every time we try to, one of us chickens out. I was sitting in the car chatting to him on the phone one day, when I finally say “Fine, give me your address” then he says that his wife will be home soon & he’s got to go to Tennis. What a fucking idiot I am. I finally get the courage to meet this married guy & go against all that I believe in & he chickens out.

I talk to him the whole time I am in the UK. In fact I end up sexting him when I am alone, which isn’t often but usually when my Aunty is in the shower or I find a bath in the hotels. When I have to return the hire car, I leave my Aunty in the hotel & leave with the intent to have phone sex with this guy, but he dicks me around & isn’t online, so I crack the shits. I also get lost getting to the fucking airport which just makes me angrier. It’s always on his bloody terms, always when he’s free… Here I am in the fucking UK still trying to get this man in Adelaide. Seriously!

But this guy somehow draws me in, I try to say goodbye several times but I never can, I don’t know why. Is it because I am such a fucking loser just wanting a guy to want me? Is it because I know this guy won’t hurt me because I can’t get attached? Is it just that this guy keeps messaging me, even when I’m a complete fucking bitch to him? This is a fucking real low point in my dating career, I am not even sure what I am doing. I mean why am I still talking to this guy on a very regular basis…

#IBD4U

Mechanic #2

Mechanic & I talk all week, it’s a great week for me. I am smitten with this guy. I know what you’re all thinking, wasn’t I just saying “I must not get attached, I must not get attached” over & over last week? Yep, I was! But somehow I get caught up in the fact that this hot guy likes me – not as hot as his pictures but he was still very nice eye candy! He sends me dumb work pictures of car motors & the computer on his lap while he’s working, or his lunch & I find myself doing the same. He sends a pic of his banana & I send a pic of me suggestively eating my banana – so cute we both had a banana that day for lunch! It’s like it’s meant to be! OMG, get a grip! Its fun & I seriously enjoy this time of a interaction with a boy, when you can be cheeky & secretly planning your wedding in your head but also knowing that in a week, he probably won’t even know your name!

I explain to him that I am going away for a month, 4 weeks to the UK (where he’s from) but that I do want to see him before I go away. He says that he wants to too! Eek, that’s so good! We can’t seem to get a date that works well for both of us & the day we’re supposed to catch up, the night before I leave for the UK, my sister goes into labour & has my baby niece. FUCK, I want to see my new baby niece of course, because she’ll be a month old when I get back from the UK, but also my vagina won’t get any action for a whole month while away with my aunty too! What a dilemma!

It’s later in the afternoon, even early evening, when we are allowed to go to the hospital to visit, so I suggest to Mechanic to come over my house later this evening when I get home, he says that works for him, (thank god) but says that we can do it another time if it’s going to be too rushed. I don’t want to wait that long to see him, being that tomorrow I am flying out for 4 weeks away, I don’t want him to forget me.

So when everyone starts leaving the hospital about 8:30 pm, I mentally thank everyone for giving my sister some time to rest – purely selfish reasons, of course. I message him as I’m walking out the hospital doors, speed home & he meets me at my house shortly after I get there. I open some wine & he bring some beers, we just kiss on the cheek hello & stand in the kitchen talking. I ask if he wants some music on which he decides that he’s going to be the DJ. Usually this is my forte, I hate others picking the music – music is my thing. We move to the couch & he goes through my Spotify, making me guess the names of the singer or name of the song – he should know not to play this game with me, I know too much about music, weirdly! I guess them all right, which impresses him. I am secretly smug!

The music he chooses is seriously the most hilarious music – old school 90’s, lots of it is dance music, very much old school tunes, like Dj BoBo – Love is all around

& Dj Scooter – the logical song

I’ve attached the YouTube songs for you that want to reminisce! Absolute fucking gold tracks! Hahaha. He literally played almost every song from Dj BoBo going on & on about him & imitating the way he talks… I’m in fits of laughter the whole night! It’s probably the best date I’ve ever had with a guy.

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We sit there playing music for ages, it’s hilarious, I can’t believe how easy it is to talk to this guy, how much we have in common, how easy it is to have him here at my house, helping himself to his beers in the fridge & more wine, rather than waiting till I offer or asking for another. OMG. I am starting to like this guy too much… Why do I do that? Why does my brain automatically imagine a life with a guy I’ve been on 2 dates with?

He tells me that while I’m in the UK that I need to try all these different snack foods that he loves & a certain brand of peanuts. I tell him that I will definitely try them & I memorise what he said so that I can message him while I’m away! (OMG you loser!)

It’s been a great night just chilling out, without the TV on at all, like Milky & I always did. He leans into kiss me & we have great sex, again we have to get into certain positions for it to be comfortable for me, but we get there with a bit of communication. (communication is key to a good relationship, sexually or otherwise!)

I feel like I say this too much, but I really like this guy! (In all honesty, I’ve only really liked – or seen myself with 3 guys since breaking up with Boyfriend over a decade ago) I like that he isn’t quick to jump up & run home, he’s not scared to stick around, even though I know I am getting attached to this guy, luckily tomorrow I fly out for the UK.

We actually talk a lot while I’m away! I send him pictures of me eating the snack foods that he recommended & I find myself packing a small packet of the nuts into my suitcase for him, when I show him me eating them & he says bring me back some! (What the actual fuck! You’re a creep!) We talk when I get back from my holiday too & I tell him that I brought him back some nuts, he’s says that I’m a legend. But we never catch up. I try to arrange something for before I go back to work, but can’t seem to lock it down. I get a bit pissed off & you know me, I stop initiating texts because I think he can contact me if he is interested.

Obviously he’s not.

#IBD4U

Guest Blogger: When The Wheels Come Off

This is a blog I follow as well, (I think this is my first guest blogger from overseas!), it’s written by a male which always intrigues me. With his permission, he’s allowed me to share this with you guys too!

I loved this because I have done the same when someone texts me & gives me no context about who they are…

When The Wheels Come Off

When the wheels start to come off, take your foot off the gas pedal. It’s a great piece of advice, come to think of it, and so I took my foot off the gas pedal. I switched it to the brake, but found it depressed right down to the floor with no corresponding decrease in speed. I was careening, heading towards a crash.

Within a couple of months of joining Plenty of Fish, I had managed to complicate what should have been a fairly simple endeavor: find an attractive woman who found me attractive in turn. And by attractive, I don’t just mean physically, but in the myriad of ways we humans entwine our romantic selves with our mates, whether you think it’s chemical, electrical or our very souls.

I had gone out on several dates with women I had considered pretty from what I saw in their pictures. I dated one I wasn’t at all attracted to physically, but who just seemed so happy and robust I wanted to see if I could set aside the physical and be subsumed by her sheer joyfulness (I could not).

Online dating can become a sort of addiction. I’ve read quite a bit about this; I’m not alone in falling into this trap. I was messaging multiple women, literally texting down a list, trying to keep the names straight. I’d sometimes have to ask for a picture to be sent because I could no longer remember which Kathy from POF I was messaging. God forbid, I gave a woman my number and she’d text some time later without telling me who it was. I’d have to try and draw out personal information surreptitiously and go back to the dating site and try to cross-reference. Sometimes, I’d get it wrong and be called out on it: “Um, you’re confusing me with one of your other women.”

It was exciting at first. I found affirmation there. Maybe I’m better looking than I thought, more interesting, funnier. Let me introduce myself, I thought, get to know each other. With time and better acquaintance, I figured most would see through me. What I found was the addiction became all-consuming. It took all my time, all my thought. And really, it didn’t make me feel better. But when you’re speeding down a hill in a car and the wheels start to fall off, there’s only one thing to do. Crash.

Here is the link to his blog: https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/85889956/posts/2166803652

So as you can see dating is no different overseas, dating is no different for men. I just wonder when there will be a man that only wants to date me & no one else?!

#IBD4U

Unemployed #2

I am not sure why I keep chatting to Unemployed to be honest. He is a stereotypical ghetto type boy needing someone to help him. I mean he’s struggling to get a job, that I even help him with his resume because he sounds like an uneducated man who has no idea how to apply for a job. I also enlist my best friend to help him as well, but I think she sounds too smart & I tone down her version a lot.

I feel sorry for him for some reason & take him on like a little project! I really do believe his story that the young girl lured him in. I’ve seen it before, I mean he is totally in the wrong for even thinking it was ok with a 15 year old, I get that, I’m not justifying it at all, however I just think he needs a friend.

Have you seen the movie Dead Man Walking? Great movie, a real tear jerker but definitely worth the watch, such an amazing film – I suggest you watch it. (Not that it makes a difference to this blog, but everyone should watch it!) Right now, I feel like I am Susan Sarandon, helping a convict, not by judging or by offering advice but just being there for him. (However, I’m clearly not a nun!)

unemployed #2

We go out for lunch one day in the city, I meet him while on holidays, we order food & drinks & I end up paying for the whole thing (OMG I am such a fucking loser!) & I don’t even enjoy myself to be honest, it’s forced & I feel weird, like a counselor or something – even though I just said that’s what I felt like he needed, but I feel like I am going through stuff too & probably not in the right mind set to be counselling someone. I vauge out, listening to him talk about what he wants to do with his life, he has about 20 different ideas on the go at once.

Around this time, I get into kayaking with a friend & purchase 2 of my own. I am keen to introduce others to the activity & I do with a bunch of different friends over the following months. He says he wants to go with me, so I say he can come with me one day, so one weekend he drives the hour & a half to my house to go kayaking. He’s not that good at it but he tries, which is good. We have a nice day on the river, it’s a great activity because I don’t have to entertain him or feel awkward about the fact I have had sex with this dude who may be going to jail!

It’s a fun day; I actually have a good time with him, showing him my new passion, I’ve never been good at sports but I like that I am able to show him what this is like & how fun it is. I really feel like he’s had a sheltered life. He says he has a really good time & wants to do it again. We hug goodbye, that’s about all I can handle & I get the vibe that he doesn’t want to do anything more with me anyway but is happy to have a friend.

A few weeks, maybe months go by, I chat to him a bit online or via text, but we don’t talk about catching up again. When he messages me to tell me that his court hearing/sentence date is coming up and he wants to go out for a special dinner. I say that’s a good idea, not thinking that he meant a special dinner with me, assuming his last day of potential freedom would be spent with his family & cat!

He invites me dinner at Windy Point Restaurant (Fancy! – for those not in Adelaide, it’s a beautiful expensive restaurant that has magnificent views over Adelaide) & not really a place you go with a random guy, more like the place you go to when you are celebrating an anniversary or when you are going to propose to your partner. It’s quite hilarious that he’s taking me there, well not taking me, he’s made it quite clear he has no money & I am paying for myself. But he wanted to spend the last night with me.

When the bill arrives he works out exactly what he has spent & not a cent more, I don’t have enough cash so I have to transfer some money to him via internet banking, I think it was about $20. He actually sends me his bank details too, so I transfer the money to him.

I never hear from him again, so I can only assume that he got jail time for his relationship with the 14 year old, but I guess I will never know. Maybe he will pop back up one day? I don’t know. I will wait & see… I hope by then I have learnt to ignore!

#IBD4U