Guest Blogger: The One That Got Away #2

Do you remember The One That Got Away? One of my first guest blogger posts? It actually hit home for me & you will find out why soon enough – when I get to posting those stories…

I don’t consider myself a romantic person, but I wonder why can’t these 2 be together?

The One That Got Away #2

As you can probably tell- I ran away interstate to be with him.

As luck would have it, things haven’t exactly gone according to plan. But if I’m going to tell it, I have to go backwards to go forwards…

During things with “the impossible situation”, things between “the one that got away” and I became pretty flirty and- because we came close to going there so long ago, but didn’t go through with it- I was definitely curious to know what I’d been missing.

I flew interstate for his milestone birthday and that’s when it happened. In a king-sized bed in the city, late at night. I very nearly lost my voice, and I’m convinced that our room had extra thick walls (which is good for me, because I get kinda loud).

We climbed into bed after his birthday dinner to “go to sleep”. He rolled over to spoon me and started nuzzling my neck and feeling me up with shaking hands. After the first moan escaped my lips, I knew I was done for.

the one that got away #2

When his hand slid between my thighs while kissing me, I knew I was going to be altered. He has impossibly long, “piano player” fingers, and it’d been years since someone was able to affect me so much with just the tip of a finger! It made me crazed.

Naturally, I jumped him! I was so wild for it that I needed to feel him inside me. It was worth all these years of waiting and wondering. There was not a single thing about that night that wasn’t perfect- not just a realistic kind of perfect, but also the way the movies portray it.

When we weren’t adventuring, eating or sleeping- we were in bed together. It sounds ridiculous for someone like me to call it making love, but that’s exactly how it felt. It’s the only time I ever have. Usually- I just fuck. I learned that weekend the difference between the two and it altered me. I felt like this is what I’ve been wanting and needing and looking for all along. I felt at home with him.

The best part was that I felt no pain. Normally during/ after any level of P-in-V action, I’m in screaming agony, thanks to my troubled uterus. With him, I only felt peace and contentment.

Upon reflection, the only thing I could think of that was different from other people is the emotional connection. This man knows everything about me- we have known each other half our lives- and that affection and trust was a point of difference. Usually, I fuck first and think later; after is when I decide how I feel about the person I’ve been with. This time it wasn’t like that, and I think it made all the difference.

Discovering afterward that that weekend was his first time having sex rocked me. Apart from thinking “damn! That’s some natural talent!”, it made me feel like there was a degree of emotional intimacy there. I thought it meant that we were on the same page emotionally.

After leaving “The Impossible Situation”, I took some time to get my head right. He damaged me a bit, and I wanted to make sure that I was better before jumping into things with “the one that got away”. We saw each other when our schedules would allow, and he told me to move down for good and live with him when his house was finished. It all kind of seemed too good to be true (it kinda was), but I felt at the time that I deserved this bit of happiness that was coming my way.

Fast forwarding to living together, and it isn’t all rosy and bright. After being here together a few months, he realised that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me. I’m too affectionate and I need more emotionally than he’s capable of giving me. He feels guilty as hell for basically bringing me down here under false pretences and some days it is hard to look at him and not want to smack him upside the head for it.

I gave him the ultimatum a few weeks ago- get your shit together and be what I need, or watch me walk away. I refuse to have wishy-washy bullshit. I don’t want grey areas. I don’t want him to think he can be a true fuckboy and pick me up and put me down as it suits him. I’m a hell of a lot better than that. He chose to walk away.

Thankfully, through all this- we are still best friends. We adore each other. I am his plus one to just about everything because he knows while I’m distracting everyone with my larger than life personality, it means he gets left alone.

Living together is easy. There’s no more emotional stress, there’s no sexual tension and we can just grow old being dorks together… at least until someone comes along, who can give me exactly what I want- once I reestablish what that is.

For any potential suitors reading this- he’s a part of my life you have to accept. Don’t make me choose between you, because I will always choose my best friend. He’s a pretty rad dude, so you score bonus points for getting along with him! You also don’t need to be fearful or jealous of him. We are seriously JUST FRIENDS.

She-Wolf x

Here is the link to her blog https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/155174584/posts/123

All I can say is, why?!

#IBD4U

Origin #9

After three full days of not talking to Origin, I finally stop crying & feeling like the world is ending. At this point, I still don’t believe that I am going to have a relationship ever again (not that this was a relationship) but I am at least not crying.

As I sit in the bath one afternoon with a supreme hangover, I start thinking about what will happen when I drop his beanie back. What if he’s out the front doing gardening & we talk & I explain better in real life what I want? What if he sees me through the window & comes running out to tell me he made a mistake? What if I knock on the door, rather than being a pansy & dropping it in his letter box & then he’ll invite me in & we’ll talk properly about what we both want? If he’s out, then once he gets home, he’ll text me to tell me that he was wrong & wants to keep seeing me & can give me more of what I want. These romantic comedy scenarios make me realise that I have to drop this beanie back ASAP.

I drive to his house, my heart pounding like a drum, his car is in the driveway but I just pop it into his letterbox & drive off, secretly hoping that he’ll text me while I’m on the way home. It’s a Saturday so there’s no reason for him to check his letter box but I hope that he saw me through the window.

I obsess over it for a few hours, maybe I should let him know it’s there then I can let go. I am in two minds; I want to see if he’ll text me but I also want to text. I just decide that because I ended it then he probably won’t want to text me, because he’ll think I won’t want to hear from him. So I send a text, he responds quickly saying thanks & that I’m a legend. Should I respond to that or just leave it at that? I respond! Not waiting to end this with him… I say thanks for letting me borrow it with a winkey face. He replies anytime with a sad face. Could he be just as sad about us ending whatever we we’re doing?

I decide to put it out there, I respond saying that I’ve really missed texting him this week & he agrees, when I say really, he says ‘yeah sure, I think you’re a top chick, I just can’t commit at the moment,’ he says he’s a straight shooter but missing hanging out with me but doesn’t want to hurt me. I say that right now I’m not looking for a full on commitment, let’s face it, it’s only been 2 months, but I need to just go out on dates & know that it could be more in the future. He says that’s cool, he’s a bit of a homebody but he understands. (He is SO not a homebody, Like what?! He’s been out like everyday/night since we met!) I explain what I ended with Milky, the 5 months of hanging at our houses & feeling like a sex toy & how I felt like that was the path we were heading down. He says that’s fair enough & I ask him if he still wants to see me. He says yes & that I’m tops, if he hadn’t just been in a relationship for so long then he’d ask me out but he doesn’t know what he wants. I say I understand where his heads at & that I appreciate his honesty but I don’t want to stop seeing him, I think he’s hilarious & I ask if he still wants to see me. He agrees to catch up, I’m sitting at home & so I invite him over, he says he’s down at Glenelg having a few beers (Uh what, his car was in his driveway? & he’s texting me back while out?! Homebody, my ass!!) but maybe tomorrow. He says he’ll cancel catching up with his friends & come to see me. I said he didn’t have to cancel but would like to see him. He says he’ll message me in the morning.

Origin #9

Am I really doing this? Is this a good idea? I figure that this is not over for me yet & I realise over the last three days that I have always given up on men. If they don’t chase me, then I don’t even bother… I’ve probably got some stories in this blog of guys who I gave up on who actually liked me but the timing wasn’t right. Let’s hope this works out in my favour, but I am trying not to overthink & wonder where he is when he says he’s out having a few beers. Surely he wouldn’t be texting me if he’s on a date? Although Milky used me as an excuse to leave his date. I’m not sure rekindling this is a good idea, but I have to try… Don’t I?

#IBD4U

Meanings

I am clearly no expert & I don’t claim to be at all in fact, people should probably not take any advice from me about how to date or what they should do while dating. Clearly I have no clue! I’m about to hit the ten-year mark (at the point of writing this, not point of posting) of being single so I’m pretty sure that I am not one to give advice. However, I want to write about what I think the meanings of things are that guys say to me…

I have men say things to me all the time & I always wonder if there is a hidden meaning or do men really mean what they say?

Well these are my theories, but I’d be happy to hear yours!

  • There is no spark/connection = You’re not hot enough for me to keep seeing you.
  • I’m not sure what I’m looking for = You’re not hot enough for me to stop seeing other people.
  • Let’s just see what happens = You’re not hot enough for me to commit to you yet.
  • I’ve got a lot going on = You’re not hot enough for me to prioritise you.
  • I’m not looking for something serious = You’re not hot enough for me to give up other people.
  • I just got out of a relationship = I just got out of a relationship & you’re not hot enough for me to stop thinking about my ex.
  • We should see other people = You’re not hot at all.
  • I’m just looking for something casual = You’re hot enough to keep having sex with but you’re not hot enough for me give up other people.
  • I’m not sure what I want but I want to keep seeing you = You’re not hot enough for stop seeing other people but I’ll keep you on the backburner just in case I don’t find anyone else.
  • I’ve been really busy = You’re not hot enough for me to prioritise you, but you’re on the backburner in case this doesn’t work out with this hot chick I’m trying to fuck.

sorry-youre-not-hot-enough-for-me-_rebel-scum-1189746.png

Are you sensing a pattern here? Hahaha. My theory is very basic, if you aren’t hot enough in their eyes, then there are a million ways to stop seeing you. I’d love to be proved wrong but so far in my experience when guys have said these things to me but I believe they all have the same meaning.

I pretty much feel that every guy I’ve dated (from the stories you’ve read so far) are all guys who are dating multiple women & somehow they find a hotter women & I am just a memory. I actually wonder if any of them had a blog, would I even rate a mention?

#IBD4U

We’ve Fucked Before #2

I know, I know I said that I wasn’t going to catch up with this guy We’ve fucked before again after we started talking about when things ended with Milky, but this guy never let up & I kept him on the back burner, maybe that’s why things didn’t work out the way I hoped they would with Origin because I kept this guy hanging. Maybe my karma is shot!

Anyway, when he says that he wants to catch up, a few days after I end things with Origin, I agree, but the second I do, I burst into tears. Like properly howling like someone died tears. (I’m not a crier at all, so this is uncharted territory, crying so much over a guy I knew for only a couple of months but we’d text EVERY DAY & I don’t even know how long we chatted online before we exchanged numbers, it would’ve been at least a week otherwise I wouldn’t given him my number.) But I work out that I’ve got more hormones in me from taking the emergency contraception pill so I am more emotional than I usually am. Yeah that’s it!

Anyway I decide that I need something to distract me, stupidly I also don’t want to have sex with this guy in case Origin comes back into my life & then I have to explain that I had sex only a day after I ended it with him. However, I guess I’d have to explain that I had sex with ‘Bowie’ the night Origin bailed on me the first time, so whatever, it’s going to be ruined even if Origin does come back but let’s face it, this blog is proof that I am not living a romantic comedy & even when I put myself out there for the first time in TEN years, I still end up alone!

I finally agree, after the whole day of texts with him & I say that he can come around at 5:30 pm, I had told him I’ll be in a robe when he gets here & we can head straight to the shower (seems to be his fantasy) but once I’m ready & tel him to come over, he text to me that he had to pick up his sister. What the actual fuck dude… I burst into tears I can’t even get a random guy I’ve fucked before to want to see me!

we've fucked before #2

I wait until 8:30 pm our regular scheduled time but he never comes over. This is technically the first time I have ever been stood up. Yet again I am the one that feels foolish, I am done. Done, Done, Done!

He texts me almost a week later saying he got a new phone after dropping his in the toilet & that’s why he hasn’t gotten in contact, I write back a bit, get another dick pic & the offer for him to come over. I just put him off, do I really want to go there? I thought I said I was done!

He messages all the time & I reply but then when I set a date & time, he doesn’t message me, I just can’t be bothered. I really can’t.

#IBD4U

Guest Blogger: Collection

I literally laughed out loud when I read these. I love it.

Thank you to She-Wolf for allowing me to share her stories with you!

Collection

Below are a collection of my funnier sexcapades.

These are the stories my girlfriends snicker over. I still do too.

Sex should be an enjoyable experience. It should be memorable.

If anything, I hope these stories give you a belly-laugh, and make you think “thank god that’s not me”…

1. Overexcited

This guy I met walking home. He kept lapping past me, beeping his horn to get my attention. He finally realized that I wouldn’t respond to cat-calling and showboating, and decided to pull over to talk to me.

He was a little older than me, with beautiful Mediterranean features and a hint of an accent. He asked me for my number and I gave it to him. These days, I wouldnt; but back then I was young and stupid.

We met a few times and on about the 3rd date we actually kissed. It wasn’t great. Too much tongue. Kissing can be taught though, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

The next time we met, we went for a drive. In broad daylight. He took me to a local parking spot in the middle of the afternoon. I knew what he was thinking and I knew I wasn’t up for being an exhibitionist.

He started to kiss me- thankfully, he’d taken my hints and his technique was much improved. That little kiss did way more for him than it did for me. He grabbed my hand and stuffed it down the front of his shorts, while exclaiming “see! You’ve got me all excited!”… to which I replied “you’re really not doing anything for me today; can you take me home now?!” I’ve never seen an erection deflate so fast!

2. Broke-Dick

I have known this guy basically my whole life; he’s a family friend.

We ran into each other when we were all grown up and hadn’t seen each other in years. After too much vodka and not enough thought, we bundled into a cab and went back to his place.

Initially; it wasn’t so bad. I knew him, even though I had never been this intimate with him before, so I was less hung-up than I’d normally be.

We decided to play with the handcuffs he had- which was a lot of fun. He was really physically strong, so moved me about however he liked (which I enjoyed).

After a few thrusts, we both felt a bit of pain. I told him he wasn’t doing it right. But he shook it off and tried to continue.

By now, he was really feeling sore and couldn’t work out why. He pulled out, and that’s when he saw it: blood.

Naturally; his first instinct was to ask if it was mine. It wasn’t. When he realized the bleeding was coming from him, he let out an almighty girl-scream and ran through the house naked, waking his housemates in the process.

He ran a shower and as the warm water lashed at his ripped frenulum, he screamed anew.

I’d managed to get loose of the cuffs and get changed to go check on him.

His housemates burst into fits of laughter when they realized what had happened and started chanting “broke-dick”. The name has stuck.

3. Banana-bender

I met this next one online. We had a really lovely date (anything with messina makes me happy) and there was a lot of chemistry.

He’d been in some kind of fitness competition and really badly hurt himself. I graciously offered him a massage. He accepted my offer, even though I told him that this wasn’t going to be one of those massages like in porn.

There will be no happy endings here!

Pfft! That bit of wishful thinking didn’t last long. I can’t help myself, after all.

When he pulled it out for me to look at, I had to choke back my laughter with a fake cough; it was literally so bent I bet he could pee around a corner! No joke- it’s basically a right angle.

Yes; we somehow managed to do the deed. Yes; it felt really weird. But surprisingly not that bad. A little bit of a quick-draw, but flawless technique.

collection.jpg

4. The Thrill of Brazil

I’d been on a really lovely date with this guy. Date number two was at my place; I was cooking.

Naturally, the privacy of my home gave us both other ideas. He’d said to me that he was “very dominant” and that he wanted to do something “special” with me.

As we started to get into it, he took out his “python”- the name he gave to it (really, it was not bigger in overall dimensions than a pork sausage- delusions of grandeur, perhaps?!) And proceeded to basically rub the tip of it over my face, like he was drawing an invisible mask of zorro on me, or performing some kind of weird blessing.

As he did this, he repeatedly whispered the word “special” to me. I was literally too stunned to move; face screwed up in a curious mix of distaste and disbelief.

I mean, come on! Who the hell does that in real life and finds it erotic?!

The python spat too early and he was so embarrassed about his performance that I haven’t heard from him since.

5. The Convict

I met him after a work party that I ditched in order to go party at a strip club instead.

One of his friends mistook me for an escort and tried to worm his hand up my skirt. The slap to the face I gave him made him see otherwise.

My convict called me over to him to apologize for his friends behavior and make sure that I was ok. He and I spent the rest of the night together- drinking, dancing and getting to know one another.

He propositioned me and I accepted. He had the bad – boy look. I didn’t think twice.

After a marathon round of gymnastic Sex , I said goodbye and he swore up one side and down another that he’d call me.

I was pretty “whatever” about it. But to my immense surprise, he did!

Though he would only call me on Wednesdays. And he’d flat out text and call me on weekends, trying to arrange to see me again.

It wasn’t until sometime later, when I questioned the pattern and asked him if he was secretly married or something that he finally admitted to me the truth- he was on weekend release from jail and gets a phone call every Wednesday.

Soon after this, he got into some more trouble and his weekend release was discontinued. I never heard from him again.

6. The ANZAC Day Punter

Let it be known that the wine they serve in RSL clubs played a massive part in this bad decision.

We met around the two-up table. I won most of his money. He kept betting with me to try and win it back, but also to have a reason to stay close to me.

By the end of the night I was well past the point of making a good decision. To drunk me, he was at least a solid 8/10, with short, curly hair, broad shoulders and kind eyes.

I dragged him home and had my way with him, apparently. I don’t remember it at all.

The next morning I woke up with a raging, head-splitting hangover… and a foreign arm draped across me. I carefully peeked over my shoulder to see what I’d done and threw up in my mouth a little. My 8/10 in the harsh light of day was barely a 2.

I sent my mum a message and asked her who he was. She said I apparently really liked him. I told her she was awful for letting him take me home.

I made him a coffee, then feigned a busy day ahead to force him to leave. I thought that’d be the end of it.

I was so wrong.

About 3 months later, I was in bed asleep; blissfully unaware that someone was calling my name from the front yard.

Yes- it was him.

The noise woke my mum though; so she went to investigate. And, in a move so awful I can only describe it as a lesser form of child abuse, she let him in and woke me up to speak to him.

He told me he hadn’t stopped thinking about me and that he thought he was in love with me. I tried to mask my distaste as i told him there was someone else in my life (there wasn’t) and asked if he could get home ok.

He said he couldn’t, and suggested to sleep in my bed with me. I gave him two options; my lounge, or my lawn.

Thankfully; he had left by the time I woke up.

7. The Pro Soccer Player

We met in a nightclub and he wouldn’t let me go from the moment he came and introduced himself to me.

He was really sweet; a genuinely lovely guy. He was really humble, and was polite to everyone who came to speak to him that recognized him. That kindness impressed upon me.

We went back to my place and got stuck into it. Mum was supposed to be staying at her mates place that night, so I figured I’d have the place to myself. Midway through, I thought I heard the lock turn on the front door, but I wasn’t 100%, so I just kept going, until mum flicked on my bedroom light and screamed in shock.

I did plenty of screaming myself (“Mum! Close the door! ”). The mood was instantly killed. And I sent him packing through the back door.

Clearly, mum recognized him.

She had told her friends, too.

Who were all waiting to greet me in the morning with a Mexican wave, screaming “goal” and singing “ole! Ole! Ole!” at me.

It took a few weeks for that incident to die down.

She-Wolf xx

Yep, I got a big chuckle at the office when I read these on my lunch break! Hahaha…

For those wanting to read, here is the link for She-Wolf’s blog.

https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/155174584/posts/33

#IBD4U

Origin #8

The next day I am in a better mood, all is right with Origin, I can’t be mad he’s online, were not exclusive. I wait to hear from him, all day but get nothing. All afternoon nothing. All evening nothing. I go to the gym for two hours & think he’ll text me while I’m there, nothing. This would be the first day that we didn’t text since we swapped numbers if we don’t text today. I don’t want that. So I ask how he’s feeling & if he died on me. He doesn’t write back & I’m home & stalker like online (which he is not, phew!) so I jump in the shower & wash my hair. He texts while I’m in there saying he just got home from cooking his mum dinner.

When I head into my bedroom I see that he is online & not only online but his tag line that shows up under his name (that should be like ‘who wants to chat’ or something like that) & he has some chicks user name. I fucking look up her profile, (What am I doing?! This isn’t me!) she’s gorgeous, I think a tad out of his league & I am laughing now because that will scare her off with her user name in his tag line, also he’ll scare off anyone else in his list as well. Plus, if they haven’t accepted each other then she can’t even see it, so it’s just a bit weird.

With this, paired with how much he’s been pulling away & hormones racing through my body from the morning after pill, I think that I have to find out what he wants. I hate to do it over text but I can’t go on this week feeling like shit, stalking him online & waiting for him to ask me out. I just am not this person, I am never like this, so I ask him if wants anything more than what we’re going at the moment, takeaway & Netflix? He takes ages to reply to me, but says that he’s been waiting for me to ask him this. That he isn’t sure what he wants, he just got out of a five-year relationship & normally he’d jump right into the next thing but he thinks I am awesome & enjoys being around me & having fun, but doesn’t want to rush into anything he doesn’t think he’s ready for. He respects me as a person & if it means it’s not what I want at the moment he understands. He says he’s a good person with morals & wasn’t just using me for sex.

I take a while to respond. Do I keep seeing him? Knowing he’s actively looking for other people? Am I that ok with being someone’s second choice? I respond saying that I didn’t want to do this over text but I get the feeling he’s lost interest; we’ve gone from texting all day every day to barely texting at all & I explain that I am not secure enough in myself to keep going in the hopes that he likes me back one day.

He says that he does like me & think I’m an awesome chick but he’s having family issues (Err… that’s new?!) & he’s been so sick lately (yeah because he hasn’t rested at all) that it’s got him down but the last thing he wants to do is hurt me & understands how I am feeling. He really enjoys spending time with me but is not sure he wants a serious thing at the moment which is unfair on me but he was expecting this message from me but also didn’t want it. But he’s not someone that wants to hurt me while he is working out what he wants. He understands & will respect my decision.

What is my decision? Go on & be hurt anyway or go on & maybe have the relationship I’ve always wanted or end it now so I don’t get a chance at being hurt? I hate when people list your qualities on their fingers, if I was that great, then surely he’d want to be with me, or make more of an effort to hang on to me. I don’t want to be a backup while someone works out what they want.

I reply saying, ‘yeah I know I’m awesome hahaha, just not awesome enough.’ I say it was great to meet him & hang out with him & that I’ll drop his beanie back. I say take care & hope he find what he wants. I expect that will be it, but he texts again.

He says I’m an awesome chick & seriously a few months down the track when he knows where his head is at, he’d seriously ask me out. He says he hopes I don’t see him as someone that was just after one thing because it wasn’t true. He had a super time enjoying my company, some fine wines & some of the best sex he’s had in ages. If that has to be it he can understand but wishes me the best babe & hope I find what I am looking for.

Doesn’t this idiot realise that he is what I am looking for! Without even realising, he is the guy I want, he’s funny, I find him hot regardless of how fat he thinks he is, we have so much in common & I am totally myself around him. Why is he online when he doesn’t even know what he is looking for? That’s why I believe that if I was hotter, like the girl he was trolling, he’d have jumped into a relationship with me.

I respond saying that I want to keep seeing him but my head is too scrambled with overthinking but that he should look me up when he is ready, as no doubt I’ll still be single! He says it’s understandable & he respects me & that he’ll miss our Netflix sessions.

I don’t respond, it only takes about ten minutes for me to be howling, like heaving crying – which is so unlike me, I hardly ever cry, especially over a guy. Again I put it down to the hormones. This is so ridiculous.

I cry on the way to work & am barely there mentally on Wednesday, when I get to the office in the afternoon, I burst into tears when a colleague asks me what is wrong. I go out for a drink with a friend in the evening who I have known for over five years & have never cried in front of, but tonight I cry while telling the story. An old couple walk off & as they do, the man tells her to watch the stairs, I burst into tears, my friend doesn’t know what to do, to be honest, neither do I. Hahaha. I had this guy’s phone number for just over 2 months! I need to get a grip!

Not only did I genuinely put myself out there & gave this guy way more than I’ve ever given anyone before & I really thought that he was going to say that he wasn’t looking for anything serious but was willing to give up looking for other women online, otherwise I might not of said anything so soon. That was all the commitment I wanted for now. My friend told me to text that to him but I think it’s over, I’ve made my decision. I have to drop his beanie back (in his letterbox) but then I will move on.

Origin #8

I guess now I am concerned about where I am ever going to meet anyone again, how I am ever going to let someone into my life again. I think that is why I keep crying so much too, how do I keep doing this to myself? My friend said that I am closer, the more I’ve opened up the further the relationships have gone, I just need to keep putting myself out there. I think I need to hibernate for the winter.

I somehow get through the first full day without a text from him or me texting him. I cry a lot but try to go to bed early, I wake up all through the night & call in sick the next day like an idiot. I know I can’t give 100%, even 50% at work if I am constantly on the verge of tears but how stupid, I knew this guy for just over 2 months, how can I be that attached?

#IBD4U

Bonus Post: How to Blog

I’d just like to take this opportunity to thank those who ask me questions about blogging but also I’d like to remind everyone that I am not a professional or an expert on anything – especially dating, blogging or writing. Hahaha. However I do get asked a lot, how to blog, how did I get into it, how do I do it? It’s been a long windy road for me, so here is what I know…

First, I did a little short course in Adelaide at the adult learning centre (WEA) about 5 or 6 years before I started posting which was called blogging for beginners. The trainer said that 90% of blogs will fail in the first 6 months. I was like “pfft, it’s ok dude, I got this – I’m hilarious, I’ll get a million likes each post.” So I set about designing my logo, branding my blog, buying the domain name, setting up social media & getting an email. Little did I know that mine would fail within the first 3 months!

Secondly, I started to write. The stories came out easily, I wrote a list of all the things I wanted to write about then started the writing – I am still working through that list! I planned a whole bunch of blogs before I started posting because I wasn’t sure I was ready for this! I also want to make sure of longevity of the blog, what would I do if I get writers block?

Thirdly, I started reading other blogs & started to think about how I wanted my blog to be, what format I would use, who my audience would be & what did I have to say! I saw other dating blogs posting sometimes right after a date, I didn’t want to do that (I like to edit & let the story evolve before I post), but I didn’t see any other blogs doing it like I planned, to post after the fact & not be in real time.

how to blog

If you’re thinking about blogging, google is your friend… I learned so much from my course & so much from google. But here are a few tips from I’ve Been Dating For You:

  • Pick a topic
    • Choose a topic you’re passionate about
    • Write what you know! (It’s true what they say.)
    • Write as you would speak it, don’t try to be fancy, you’re not writing War & Peace, this is your time to be you
    • Be specific, don’t change your topic half way though
  • Pick a blog name
    • Make sure the name will evolve with you, your topic & your readers.
    • Make sure its identifiable & catchy (you know like I’ve Been Dating For You – hahaha)
  • Get a logo, email address, social media & domain name
    • Keep them all the same. This help builds your brand & consistency making your blog easier to find
    • Unless you can make the logo without using word clipart, then pay someone to do it for you
    • I suggest buying your domain so your web address if just your blog name ie: ivebeendatingforyou.com not www.i’vebeendatingforyou.com/wordpress as it looks cleaner & more professional
  • Find a site that can host your blog
    • I use WordPress, but you can use Tumblr, Wix or Blogger, any site for hosting a blog unless you can build your own website
    • Learn the site before you post, you don’t want to change your themes & keep updating your look while posting & confusing readers
  • Keep entries short
    • I suggest no more than 1500 words per blog but no less than about 700 words
    • People are busy, they don’t have time to read a never ending story – that’s what books are for
  • Post blog content regularly
    • At least 2 or 3 times per week on set days
    • People need to know when your going to post, if it’s too random & they haven’t subscribed, they won’t come back to look for new content
    • Don’t post too often, again people are busy & don’t have time to keep checking
  • Don’t start posting too soon
    • I started before I was ready & ended up taking another 2 years to continue to post. I know I have a lot to share, but you have to be ready to share with people you know first because that’s how you build your audience
  • Know your audience
    • You need to keep relevant by knowing your audience, knowing what they want to read & not deviating from your topic
  • Plan, Plan, Plan
    • Depending on your subject, you might not want to post as things are happening, you may prefer to edit, edit, edit before you post.
    • Be prepared for writers block. You need to be consistent so by posting a story you’ve just written you are running the risk of not having content for tomorrows post
  • Schedule your posts
    • I have a set schedule for my posts, so they are automatically posted at the same time every week, this saves time because I am also busy but keeps the consistency
    • I schedule mine a month in advance, that way if anything happens, there is a buffer
  • Don’t post too often
    • People don’t have time to read more than a couple of blog posts a week, don’t be too eager to get it all out there (this is hard for me, because I want to you to read everything I have coming up!)
  • Advertise your blog
    • Be prepared to be out of pocket $$$
    • Don’t expect to make money or be famous, blog because you want too, not because of what it might get you!

Initially when I started posting, I wasn’t getting any readers, why? Was my content not good? Maybe not. Was it because I wasn’t consistent? Yes, it was because I wasn’t prepared for how much time it took me to write content (writers block, over editing & second guessing that I was funny), to post, to keep up to date & to get readers! I wasn’t prepared for the amount of work (& money) it would take to get readers.

It’s been a rewarding experience for me & I can’t wait for you to all read it all. It’s made me more open to new things because I keep thinking that I will get a blog post out of it & I hope that you have all learned something or not felt alone (which was my main purpose for blogging). I can also see my writing evolve & myself as a person since my first blog post to what I am writing now. I hope you all stick with me…

Don’t expect it to happen overnight, I have been online for over 2 years but have only been regularly posting for the last 6 months. It’s been very difficult but fun. I look forward to hearing from you all, it’s so amazing to hear your feedback!

#IBD4U