Guest Blogger: The One That Got Away

Another fabulous reader & also a fellow blogger has shared a few stories with me & allowed me to share some with you. This one almost made me cry (& I never cry!) – I have had a similar experience, you are all yet to read about! #WatchThisSpace!

OMG, tell me that didn’t tug at your heart string! Thanks Miss Slut for sharing.

#IBD4U

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Hockey Puck #3

Yeah this guy is still hanging around since the day I ended things with Milky. He texts me all the time, tells me how much he wants me, we try to set up a time to catch up but we never seem to get the time to catch up yet some how we sext a bit, I get sucked in it & always end up really turned on. It’s totally not what usually happens when someone sexts me, I usually think it’s a bit hilarious. But with Hockey Puck I seem to get caught up in it & actually really enjoy it. He seems to write exactly what I have pictured in my fantasies (even though he only knows a few tidbits) but he some how gets me to reciprocate.

One day while working away he said he wanted to get my panties wet while I was at work (I hate the word panties!) I was sitting in a board room, reading his texts while listening to someone babble on, but he was saying what he wanted to do to me under the table & I swear to god that I could of cum, if the meeting didn’t finish. I ended up going back to the hotel immediately (even though I didn’t have the time) & made him text me sexy things until I did cum. I didn’t think I had many firsts left regarding sex but it was the first time I was that wet from texts.

I ask him on the way home from my work trip if he wants to catch up this weekend, he says ‘we’ll make it happen’ I text him a few times on the Friday but then never hear from him again, until a week later on the Sunday saying how much he wants me. I respond with is ‘I am having déjà vu?’ I explain to his what that we’ve been here before, a few times, I’m getting over it, so he asks what I’m doing right now, (but I’ve also seen him come up on my dating profile & he’s looking for British girls as he’s moving to the UK in 2016.) he says he’s not moving for a while but I say that I can’t this weekend & I’m kinda getting over it.

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We’ve had sex once & this has now been going on for almost two months with absolutely nothing but text messages, I just think that what is the point… I’m deciding to leave this one alone! Or will I? I don’t know, I say I am, but stay tuned because with me you never know what I might do since I’m a masochist, I can only assume that I will be quite happy to go back for more if he continues to text me. However I think that’s probably the last I will hear from this one, his cat is now out of the bag – him moving to the UK – & I have told him several times that I am not looking for anything casual now, I want more than that now.

UPDATE: He came up recently as a friend I may know on FB. I don’t know how but he did. I looked at his profile pic, with a chick. Assuming his girlfriend, while I’m still single. Lovely…

#IBD4U

Milky #5

Well where do I start with this one, the one that doesn’t want me, but apparently doesn’t want me to have anyone else.

So Easter is not the last I hear from him, he texts me before I go on a date with Too Eager less than two weeks later, again just as I start to forget about him, he texts to say ‘Guess who I got matched with online haha’ Um, WTF! Why would he text me to tell me that? What is wrong with this guy? What is the point of that text. I have no idea what to write back so I just say ‘oh yeah, who? Someone awesome I bet!’ the next day he responds ‘haha well I’m sure that they would say that they’re awesome lol’ Double WTF? I don’t respond for ages. I don’t know what to say to him. I just want him to fuck off now, I mean any feelings I thought I had for this guy are rapidly evaporating.

I do have one thing to thank Milky for & that is how much he opened my eyes to a different sexual world. We didn’t really do anything majorly kinky & I would of liked to try more with him but it’s really made me more aware of myself & more confident (perhaps), sex since him has been a lot better than before him, that’s for sure.

A friend said to me that to you can’t do the casual thing for more than three months, that’s usually when you start having feelings for someone. She’s probably right, I really made it about three months before I actually like him & that’s about when we didn’t see each other as much & I had to say something to him about what we were doing.

I end up writing back to Milky, putting it out there that I like him but also saying fuck off. I ask ‘why do you keep texting me Milky? You know I really like you & while you rank fairly high for the best sex I’ve had, I just can’t do it anymore. The casual thing was ok for a while but now we want different things. I want exclusivity, you don’t. I think we need to just leave it at that’

While I secretly hope that it’s not the end of him, (God only know why I am think I am attracted to him!) but I am also not holding my breath as I haven’t heard back from him, so I hope that he gets the message & I can move on, find someone else who is that good in bed but actually likes me.

Is it that I am so desperate for a bit of affection that I just attach to anyone who shows the slightest bit of interest in me? Do I actually really like this guy or is it just that he kept coming back for more? I am starting to get concerned that the reason all these guys get to hurt me is because I am not actually looking for someone I like, I am looking for someone that likes me. Now that’s a scary thought!

#IBD4U

Bonus Post: Question Time!

The question I am get the most is actually about me or who I am. I don’t want give away too much as I am barely dateable as it is… Imagine if men knew I was blogging about them!

So I found some questions on a website, which I thought I would answer for you all, gives you a little insight, but still keeps my anonymity.

  • Any upcoming travel plans?
    • Kangaroo Island (Work then a weekend away) – Jan 2019
    • Nepal & India – Oct 2019
  • What brought you here?
    • My crazy dating life!
  • When you’re not working, how do you like to spend your time?
    • Gym
    • Writing about the dates I’ve been on!
  • What are you reading currently?
    • Other dating blogs
  • What’s the first concert you attended?
    • 5ive – As in “Five bad boys with the power to rock you, blow your mind so you gotta get into, 5, 4, 3, 2, lets do it!”
  • Where do you most hope to visit?
    • Scandanavia & MexicoGet to know me
  • What’s your favourite book?
    • A summer to die
  • What’s your favourite 90’s show?
    • Friends or Sex & The City
  • What’s your dream job?
    • If I could sing, I’d be a singer.
  • What’s your favourite word?
    • Dude
  • What was your first job?
    • Service Deli Chick
  • What was the worst job you’ve ever had?
    • The ‘save’ call centre for a telco. I had no idea how to save customers when they wanted to cancel!
  • What is your most-used emoji?
    • 🤔
  • What was your favourite subject in school?
    • English or Drama
  • If you had to eat one thing for every meal going forward, what would you eat?
    • Cheezels
  • If someone were to play you in a movie, who would you want it to be?
    • Reese Witherspoon (apparently we look similar… I wish!)
  • What’s one thing about you that surprises people?
    • Their ability to stay in an unhappy relationship
  • Who, or what, was your biggest teacher?
    • An ex-partner (stories to come).
  • What was something you’ve done that made you feel extreme happiness?
    • Fell in love
  • What qualities do you value in the people with whom you spend time?
    • Honesty & sense of humor
  • For what would you be famous?
    • This blog? Hahaha.
  • What’s your guilty pleasure?
    • Watching The Bachelor or The Bachelorette or Bachelor in Paradise.
  • Has anything ever happened to you that you could not, and cannot, explain?
    • Why I am still single… Like WTF happened there?
  • For what are you most grateful today?
    • My family & friends
  • If you could have one ‘do over’ in your life, what would you do differently?
    • The relationship with the man I fell in love with, not necessarily to change what happened,  but to feel that again.
  • Of what are you most afraid?
    • Spiders

(Questions stolen from…. https://www.forbes.com/sites/darrahbrustein/2017/11/19/the-55-best-questions-to-ask-to-break-the-ice-and-really-get-to-know-someone/#2f583d1b3ca1)

Anyway, I hope these answers help you get to know me better but feel free to ask any you like!! Obviously my life is an open book, this blog is basically my journal!

#IBD4U

Whats App

I met a guy online that was from Adelaide but living in Melbourne & just here for Christmas holidays. We chat online for a bit before we exchange numbers & start using the Whats App app. He asked to catch up but I said that I might be going to this nightclub reunion thing, he said he wanted to go to that too, it wasn’t till about 8:00pm that night, that my friend & I decided to actually go.

We got into the city about 10:00pm, the club is packed, it’s so hot & it’s so hard to move anywhere, even on the sidelines, not just the dance floor. The whole time Whats App is messaging me, saying that he is coming too, but of course I’m not one to spend the whole night staring at my phone, we’re on the dance floor boogieing away. When I do check my phone, he lets me know that he is there & on the dance floor. I reply where we are, but pretty much every time I do, my friend & I move. I don’t do this on purpose & my friend knows that I am meeting him here, but he also keeps moving rooms as well.

Whats app2

Eventually, I say that I am going to the toilets, my friend waits outside & when I come out she is talking to him. (She told me later that she just asked him if he was looking for me) He hugs me hello, he isn’t really like his pictures, he’s cute but I’m not really attracted to him. We talk for a few minutes & suggest going to the dance floor, but he never comes. We lose him in the crowd or he just doesn’t want to come, I don’t know but it’s the last I see him. He does text me a few times & later lets me know that he’s left the club.

I’m not really sure what it is about me, it was clear that we were just going to hook up (from our original interaction & chats) being he lived interstate, but then they meet me & don’t want too? It’s shortly after this that my casual encounters stop for a little while, I don’t know why it’s so hard to get a guy into bed, I mean I would have thought that a chick telling a guy all she wants from you is sex, you’d be jumping at the chance to do it.

#IBD4U

Guest Blogger: The Animal

My wonderful reader has another story for you… Interesting to have a male perspective on dating.

The Animal

Ok, for those that read “Liza”, this story comes from quite a few months down the track, which in between time “The One” has happened, as has the “Woodwork Booty call weekend”. Happy to share those at some stage in the future.

So, The Animal…
After the One had finished up (didn’t end well obviously), the decision was made to rejoin online.
Having met Liza and the One online, a little bit of trepidation with this, yet stick to rules and criteria:
Well dressed
Attractive
Has a bio

Swipe left on:

  • Filtered with bunny ears
  • Sunsets or coffee mug pics
  • No bio
  • Gym selfies(love the gym, but how about leaving what God gave you until we see each other in flesh?)

Oh and fellas, feedback I have heard is Hi-Vis isn’t sexy (that stuff is keeping you safe at work) either is a gym selfies (compensation)
or pics with your dogs… Just a tip I’ve heard!

Anyway, swiping and swiping, cause following the rules means you wipe out over 70% of profiles…
Ah bang… The Animal… (And I have named her this out of purely how this turns out! Not because she is! A term of endearment! Politically correct and all) looks good, tall, well dressed, attractive and highly educated. Swipe right.

Match.

Great. Start the conversation, you know the usual? Kids, career, interests.
More in depth re: each other’s single journey. Awesome. Interesting lady.
Chatted for about a week.
Let’s meet.
Time made, event in town, going to a comedy show.

Sounds great. Laughs and banter will break the ice.
Few days pass, idle chit chat, nothing significant.
The evening arrives, after spending 45 mins trying to decide which outfit to wear, finally arrive at date.
We have the usual greetings, bonus point is she looks exactly like her photo! There’s a tick!
What the show happens to be a show about dating and sex.

Anyway goes well, walk back to apartment to drop her off. For some reason all my dates end up in a passionate embrace and a snog.
That aside, we make a plan to catch up next day, I like this girls style.
Adelaide Hills, wine tasting, walk. Sounds great. Some romance with wine and food.

10am Sunday morning start, off we trundle to the Hills, I will spare you all the details whilst doing the tour, let’s say was one of those nice dates with good conversation and banter (we all have those yeah?) No red flags as yet. Perhaps only one with reminder occasionally the The Animal has 3 degrees, including one in Psychology. Yeah ok, I get that you’re smart!

Comes to the walk part of date, where you sort of know that there’s definitely going to be some physical touch going to happening… this is punch line… more than you maybe expecting…. and just the beginning!

So a lovely trail is chosen, very secluded, she picked it( still no red flags going off!)
About 15 mins in, well, here comes the kissing etc… A few minutes of that nice, hot and heavy action, I get a little whisper in ear ”I have a fantasy and fetish”
Do you now?
Yep, you guessed it…
Now I consider this for a few seconds, not really my thing in the middle of the bush, beach maybe, bush not so appealing.
Some gentle encouragement from her brings me around to the idea… Off the track a little we head. We all understand it takes a few minutes to get a few things unhitched, time to get to it…
“Oh wait” I whisper…”No can do, no condom”
Within a flash from the clutch comes the little packet! (Thinking here…WOW, did she have this pre planned? Seems a little organised)
Ok, rolled on, ready to go…

“Before you start, there’s something I need you to do” she says

“Yes for sure”

“Grab a small gum tree branch with a few leaves on it”
“Huh!!!???” Completely confuses now…

“I want you to spank me with the branch… On my bum, just a few times before you start”

At this point I’m going WTF, yet stupidly run with it, because, well I now need release myself! Can’t waste it…

Spanking done (and at this stage the red flag has just popped into head big time) Start on the (we know this bit)
Then there’s noise, noise like a mating male Koala, and no it wasn’t me, and it wasn’t coming from the trees either… Definitely in front of me!!!
(Again…WTF is coming to mind)
Was over quickly (thank fuck!) to which she had a very satisfied expression…ok.
A different experience for sure.

“Apologise for the grunting” she says “I’m fascinated by Koalas and how they mate” (How many red flags would you be having by now???!)

All good is my reply, yet completely unnerved at what the hell just happened in some ways….
Walk back to car, a couple of cheeky grins, however internally completely wondering ‘How the hell did I end up doing that! And what’s with the Koala thing?’

animal

As we start to drive back to town, she leans over and says ”I want more”

“More what?”

“More!”

I drive an automatic car, so you don’t really need your left hand… Yes, you guessed it (maybe!), my left left hand was asked to infiltrate the panties on the drive home…
No grunting this time, however earth shattering shrill and OMG, the looks at the stop lights at the bottom of the freeway! If the cars next door couldn’t see, they for sure could hear!

By this stage, I had sunnies on and was trying to pull myself down in the seat like those douche bags do in their beat up old Commodores… Again… WTF… Can I go home now????

Arrive at apartments, walk her to the door. The pleasantries of how nice a day it was etc… blah blah blah… Then the conversation of the afternoon…

“Was awesome fun” Was her description..

“Definitely different” my reply..

“Different!!!????? What do you mean different???? You didn’t like it???, you joined in!!” She screamed.

“Omg, calm down… Just something I would not do normally, so yes different.”

“Well, if didn’t like it, there’s not much point us continuing to see each other!!!” Off she storms….

Shaking my head now…. Seriously… Ummmm yep! WTF. Run!!!!

Jump in car.

Text message ‘Sorry I yelled, can I call you tomorrow’

‘Well, half of Adelaide heard you, however apology accepted’ (Not sure why I said that!)

‘Can I call?’

‘Tomorrow, yes. Not tonight’

‘Ok cool’

Will she call? God knows….after how that ended, I hope not. Not sure I want to answer the phone!

My, at times, naivety has just been shattered even further, and a mind full of what the fuck just happened today? How did it go from wine to grunting????? Then again, will give me the chance to say “Hey, was fun, however I don’t think we should go on” over the phone… which is lots better than by text…

In the meanwhile, I’m off to find a beer, or 6, and dull the senses a little….

Will she call you think? Will she be apologetic? Where the hell will this end up?

Well, that’s another WOW moment! Maybe dating women isn’t easier. I won’t be jumping the fence any time soon!
#IBD4U

DJ

After my friend & I both ended our relationships, obviously mine with Boyfriend, many many years ago, we used to go every Saturday night to the same club, parting all night. It wasn’t about picking up, it was just us being two free happy single women. It was some of the best times of my life. At this club back in 2008 I knew one of the dancers through a friend of a friend so I of course talked to her as I hadn’t seen her in years. She introduced me to her other dancer friend who was no longer dancing at the club since they put in poles for the girls to do pole dancing. This girl was so beautiful to me, she had perfect hair & was just a lovely person, she introduced us to her boyfriend who was a DJ at the club. I remember talking to him vaguely & never thought much of it.

Years later I was online dating & DJ came up as a prospect, I sat there looking at him for ages trying to figure out if it was him or not & should I swipe him, which I do just to see if he has liked me in return. He did, it’s a match & so I say hello, but I never ever get a response from him. He never deletes me or talks to me & a few months later I delete my account thinking nothing much of it.

Being the idiot that I am, I signed back up months later & he’s a prospect again, so I swipe to see if he’s a match again & he’s said yes too so we’re a match. I always say hello to people when I match with them so again, I said hello or something but again, he never answers or deletes me (which is what happens usually if they don’t want to talk to you.) A few months later I delete my account again.

About a year or even more later, I’m at a nightclub reunion event & I’m walking through the he crowd & who should I see but DJ. He’s not DJing but just hanging out with some people, we make eye contact before I just keep walking past, I don’t talk to him, though I am tempted, but I figure if he wanted to talk to me he had two chances online that he never bothered to utilise.

The next day I start searching his music, to see if he’s still mixing tracks & I find a site where he has uploaded mixes of dance songs that I really like. I find about five mixes so I follow him on that site & become obsessed with listening to them. Of course while listening to them I start having little day dreams, thinking that we’d get together & he would make a mix for his ‘beautiful girlfriend’ & then once we’re married his ‘amazing wife.’ Seriously my mind is just crazy! Hahaha.

A month later walking around the German festival with a friend & a friend of a friend who had lost our mutual friend, he says ‘there’s that DJ that always wears hats’ I turn & see him, I say ‘oh I know that guy’ he says ‘no you don’t’ so I tell him his name & he says yeah how do you know him. I don’t bother with my stalker story & just say from years ago in the clubs. Seeing him just makes me more obsessed with his music which I find on an obscure music app & I listen to it every day while I’m driving.

DJ

Finally I snap & think this is just stupid, so I delete the tracks I downloaded & find another artist to listen to on Thursday. I go out for dinner on Friday night, sitting on the side walk in Rundle Street & who walks past, DJ! This is typical for me, I just get someone out of my mind & they somehow appear.

It’s been ages since then & nothing has ever happened but he still pops up everywhere. I recently became friends with my hairdresser on Facebook & she’s bloody friends with him. Adelaide is just too small. I did let myself check if he’s added new mixes online every now & then, knowing that I will love it regardless, however I do notice when he uses the same song from a mix he did before. That just shows you what a fricken stalker I am!

If I was a person that believed in signs, surely that’s enough signs to make me act on it isn’t it? I was bumping into him every few months, but he never acted on it either & I figure he now just thinks of me as a stalker as I only just found out that on the music app, every time someone listens to a song it alerts the person who posted it who is listening to it. Yep, he was getting a daily notifications with my name! AWESOME.

#IBD4U