Ibiza

My friend & I were travelling through Europe still for 5 weeks a few years back, the same trip I had the Manchester evening in Croatia. We picked different countries that neither of had been too before. So we planned Spain, now you can’t go to Spain without a trip to Ibiza.

Our trip was a very tight trip with everything we wanted to fit in. Stupidly I think we went to 7 or 8 countries in 5 weeks, doing our own thing, not a tour so it was pretty full on. We booked flights to Ibiza & with our schedule, it meant we were going to be there less than 24 hours. It was pre-season, so the clubs weren’t open yet however there was one nightclub doing a special gig that we bought tickets for.

We went to the local shop, got some drinks (which were super cheap!) then we went back to the hotel, hung by the pool for a bit & got ready for a big night out. Now being in Ibiza, the party capital of the world, we thought we should get there early so we didn’t have to line up & also cos we had an early flight the next day.

We rock up to ‘Space’ nightclub. The music is pumping but the place is empty. Much like the Croatia nightclub. We sit at the bar & have transvestites chatting to us who were promo girls, while other guys taking to us didn’t believe they were men. It was worrying that the massive club was basically empty. Maybe this was a mistake!

Ibiza

But just like Croatia, the club starts to get packed, we start dancing & drinking way too much. Well especially me this time.

We start dancing with this bunch of guys, all wearing bunny ears. They all speak Spanish, no English at all & I try out my Spanish skills trying to talk to them, however it does not go well, especially in a packed loud nightclub. I somehow end up kissing one of them. He very cute, beautiful brown hair, beautiful tan, tall, exotic & just what I needed that night. I remember walking around the club with him, possibly trying to find somewhere we could have sex but not succeeding.

I go back to my friend & she is relieved to find me again, saying I’d been gone for ages. Really? Whoops… What was I doing? Kissing a sexy Spanish guy, that’s what! We trek back to the hotel, luckily she was more sober than me. I was so drunk, I don’t remember much besides what she’s told me. But I had such a good time I remember shouting over the music at one point to her “I’m never growing up!” & let’s face it, I haven’t!

#IBD4U

Manchester

Travelling through Europe with my friend for 5 weeks had a lot of ups & downs, we headed to Croatia for 10 days doing a island hopping tour. While staying Dubrovnik my friend decided that she wanted to dye her hair bleach blonde like Paris Hilton from dark brown, so she booked an appointment at the hairdresser. While we waited we sat down at a oyster bar for her to try the fresh oysters & I had a glass of wine. When she went to her appointment I wandered around shopping, eating, soaking up the culture. About 5 hours later, she still hadn’t text me, so I went back to the hotel, had a shower, jumped in my pyjamas & settled down to read my book, I figured that she would find me when she was done.

She got home shortly after me about 7:30pm & even though her hair colour looked nothing like Paris Hilton, it was more of a golden blonde but it looked amazing. We talked for a bit thinking that we can’t waste her amazing new hair do on a night in at the hotel, lets go out for a drink? So I jump up about 8:30pm & start getting ready, she says ‘are you serious?’ I said sure, why not? So we got ready, had a drink at the hotel bar (boring!) then caught a taxi to the town centre. We asked the driver were we should go, so he dropped us at a nightclub about 9:30pm.

Music was pumping, lights were flashing as we walked down the stairs to this underground club, but we walk into a fairly small room, with two or three booths & a few stools with tables but it’s almost an empty room! We both pack up laughing but decide to give it a go. We order drinks, mine comes in a bucket, yes a bucket, like one you would take down the beach to build a sandcastle. Several of those buckets later & the place was filling up, three fairly older German guys share our table & we make friends with them easily, leaving our stuff with them (WTF!?) while we dance on the dance floor!

Manchester

Disclaimer : Pic is real!

It’s not long before it’s hard to move in the place, it’s tiny & it’s packed full of people, all dancing, trying to get drinks. My friend & I are dancing away, taking selfies & generally feeling like we’re 20 again. It was such a fun night (from what I remember) but somehow I start dancing with this guy, a British guy (of course) from Manchester so we dance & end up kissing on the dance floor. I must really be in my 20’s!

I’m grinding away on the dance floor when my friend comes up to me & says ‘I have to go, I’ve got food poisoning’ she tells me to stay & rushes off. Stupidly I let her go & stupidly she doesn’t force me to go with her, so she heads off & I stay in the arms of Manchester.

We end up outside chatting & he invites me back to his hotel, I ask if he’s sharing a room with someone which he says no, so I think whats a little holiday romance. We jump in a taxi & it’s going further & further into the hills, but we arrive a nice hotel & go inside, we walk through all the nice part & kept walking, to what can only be described as a dorm hall, this is confirmed when we walk into a dorm room! There’s another couple in a bed in the corner but apparently that doesn’t stop me. I guess I really am in my 20’s!

It’s probably one of the weirdest sexual encounters, I never had sex in a dorm room in my 20’s so it’s kinda crazy doing it in my 30’s. I have no idea if the sex was good or not, I am sorry to say I don’t really remember it. But I get up afterwards & get dressed, doing the walk of shame though a Croatian hotel/hostel to ask the concierge to call me a taxi, I feel like a hooker standing outside waiting. I get home about 5:00am, hungover as fuck, dying for a drink of water & my friend is up. She’s been sick all night, coming out of both ends – those bloody fresh oysters. She’s drunk all the water including the mini bar water. We end up spending the whole next day at the hotel only venturing out for water & some greasy food for me! But man Croatia was a beautiful place!

#IBD4U

Milky

I met the Milky online, we chatted a bit then exchanged numbers, I kind of had a few guys lined up for the Saturday night that we penciled in so I didn’t end up texting him as I thought I was more interested in some of the others aka Someones Son – I know that sounds really bad but Milky was kind of a back up. However that bit me in the butt because I saw neither that night! We text a little about general crap before I invite him over to test out my new outdoor setting & have a strongbow but he says he’s really busy most of the weekend then “he will be tired when he is free”, (Like really?!) so I just respond for him to let me know when he is free, I have no desire to chase a guy that is ‘just not that into me.

Milky initiates the texts over the following week, I don’t give too much away, keeping my guard up but he invites me over to his house for a drink on Saturday night. I’m feeling a nervous about going to a guys house (even though he’s now the second guy I’ve been to their house) & especially since we hadn’t actually text/chatted that much to begin with, but I rock up at his house & he is cuter in real life than his photos, he had a really nice smile & he actually ends up being quite funny, we have a few drinks but because I always feel awkward, I sit there thinking that I should go leave soon, being that it’s about 11pm & I don’t know the protocol is, that’s about when he slides over & kisses me!

He’s a good kisser & does everything right, he really seems to know what he’s doing, he spends a lot of time making me feel good, including using his own “massager” on me (which I think is weird being it’s the first time we’ve had sex – but I go with it & enjoy myself) & I end up with a huge hickey. The awkward human that I am, I end up getting up about 1 am, get dressed & go home.

The next day I get a quick text from him saying something like he had a good time, I respond hoping we can do it again sometime, he agreed & although we text a little, we don’t seem to catch up again. I finally say to him that I’m going away for work for 11 days but I have a little free time to see him before I go, he suggests to wait till I get back. I write him off again, assuming I’ll never hear from him again but to my surprise he just randomly text me while I’m away to see how I’m going & we arrange to meet up the weekend that I am back, which again I go to his house.

The next time we caught up, we talked again for ages, he moved into kiss me & we have really good sex again, but I walked away texting my friend that I didn’t think I’d ever see him again. A slight overreaction but he tried to go up my ass without any warning & he did hold my neck a bit, but once I moved his hand & said no, he didn’t try again. But he did do things I didn’t know I would like, he pulled my hair & we stood up to have sex, some things I’d never done before. Anyway I get up again & leave, really not knowing the appropriate amount of time to stay at a guys house after you have sex & a shower.

Another 3 weeks go by & another work trip before we arrange to catch up again, this time at my house, which I felt better about because then I didn’t have to be the one to leave. I was watching some murder mystery show so we watched that a bit but he kissed me & we had good sex again before we had a shower & he spooned me on the couch, which was about when I started getting a little attached, then we had sex again. He stayed till about 2:30 am & left my house. I text him the next day to say I didn’t realise it was so late when he left & he says he wasn’t sure if I wanted him to stay or not, I say you should’ve stayed, next time. Smiley Face! Uh Oh!

This is also about the time that I completely forget what we talked about online & I had deleted my account, so I can’t go back & read it & what each of us wanted, which would’ve helped me keep a ‘casual’ distance & not start overthinking. It’s also about this time that I realise my ‘wish’ list for a man is completely out the window. This guy is about the same height as me (5’3, he might be like 5’4), he’s never traveled overseas, he drives a ford & he now has no job. The only thing on my list is that he owns a house, he’s older than me & the sex is really good! (which I think rules out the whole list!)

We text a bit over the next few days & we work out that he’s going to pick me up from a BBQ at my friends house. Now all this to me isn’t a casual thing, he’s going to stay at my house, he’s picking me up from functions, all very coupley things to me. Stuff I haven’t done in a long time with a guy. We have this great banter all the time & I find myself starting to think about having the “what are we doing” talk & introducing him to my friends & family.

He ends up coming over my house 4 Saturday nights in a row, then its Christmas, he comes over before New Years on a Monday night when I am supremely hung over, I stay at his house the next week on a Tuesday & things have been pretty standard for us, a few texts a week back & forth during the week to set up the next night, sometimes we grab pizza but generally we watch some Netflix, drink (he mixes rose wine with vodka – a night where I get so drunk & fall off his bed!), we talk & we have sex, then we sleeps over & he spoons me before we go to sleep.

Milky

#IBD4U

PJ O’Brien’s

One night out with some friends, I was actually the only girl there with a Boyfriend. (This is going back, I’ve only ever really had the one boyfriend!) I was always (& still am!) the only single one around everyone in couples.

We went out with friends for drinks. I can’t remember if it was a birthday or just a fun night out. Well that’s what it was supposed to be!

We get to the bar PJ O’Brien’s (which I’m so happy doesn’t exist anymore because of this story!) it was an Irish pub with lots of booths & walls – hidden nooks & crannies. I was dancing with the girls while my boyfriend sat at the bar with our other friend. Us girls somehow ended up at a booth chatting to some other guys. I believe they knew some of my friends.

I am always more confident with men when I don’t care what they think of me, which I didn’t because I had a boyfriend. So I was more open with the guys chatting to us. One guy kept moving closer & I kept stepping back during the conversation but I didn’t think much of it.

As each friend lost interest in whatever the conversation was, they all walked away, the girls were on the dance floor & I realised I was backed into the corner of a booth area, with this guy leaning in, his arm up to block my way. I realised I was stuck & started to feel uneasy. So I said to the guy “I better get back to my friends, they must be looking for me” & kinda gave a laugh, pushing his arm down, but he wouldn’t move it, he stared into my eyes & said “No they’re not” that’s about when I started to panic.

Idea!! Play the boyfriend card! You actually have it this time, not just a lie you say to a dude to get them away from you. “I’ve got a boyfriend, I’m sure he’s looking for me” he smirked a creepy smile & said “No he’s not” & it worked. I actually believed him, they weren’t looking for me, no one knew I was in the corner with this creep, trying to get away.

But it also spured me on to get away from him, he was a creep & weird. I ran straight to the toilets & tried to calm down. I looked on the dance floor for my girl friends but couldn’t see them. I didn’t want that guy to find me but I had to walk past to get to my boyfriend.

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I walked up to my boyfriend & asked (possibly yelled hahaha) him why he didn’t come save me. We had a massive fight because I felt so let down. He ended up walking home from the city & not answering his phone, I got a taxi back to my parents house & then had to go fix it with him in the morning – not sure what I did wrong but man that was a shitty night out.

I should’ve broken up with my boyfriend then, but we actually went on to buy a house together a little whole later, the one I still live in & we talked kids. But ultimately, we were never going to work out, I don’t want someone who goes missing because I was upset I just got freaked out by a creep.

#IBD4U

Someone’s Son

There comes a time in everyone’s life, especially in Adelaide when you start chatting to someone online & realise you know them or someone they know. I met this guy who I was chatting to for a while, things were going well, we were talking about meeting up for a drink, but something made me sign up to another online site that links to your Facebook account, it then shows you friends you have in common. We had a friend in common then I realised that it was his mum, I used to work with her. So when I messaged & asked him, he confirmed & it made me feel more at ease to meet him, because I had sort of met him a while ago at his mum’s wedding, but he’d just had a kid with his then partner. But knowing he wasn’t a complete psycho I think I was much more at ease to have him come over to my house.

I think though when he sends you two texts in a row, one agreeing to catch up & one that says “can you pick me up at ****” with a very quick “that was for my mum” you probably don’t think too much of the fact that he’s still seeing the mother of his child (aka ****), because they share custody, but you should wonder why he’s needing to be picked up from there. Red flags should be waving ferociously.

We arranged for him to come over to my house a couple of times, in the end this guy copied the same behavior of Catastrophe who took FOREVER to get to my house, He actually only lived about 10 minutes maximum from me if there was heavy traffic, he said he’d be an hour, then an hour went by, I text again, he said he’d be 30 mins, that 30 minutes went by, then he said he’d be 10 minutes, I just told him not to bother, it was late & when he said he had to drop of medicine to his son, which is why he was late, I couldn’t help but wonder if he was trying to win back his ex girlfriend? He said he felt a bit shit about not catching up but he never made much of an effort since then anyway.

Someones son

I’m kind of glad it worked out that way, not that I won’t date someone with kids (I’d prefer if they have kids), but if they can’t even meet up with me because of the kids, there must be something that stops them. Sometimes things work out in a way you don’t get, until you get perspective & are able to look back.

I guess I also feel a bit stupid being that the same night I tried to also catch up with another guy but “he fell asleep” so I’m really not sure what is so wrong with me that I have more trouble doing this casual thing as I did actually dating!

#IBD4U

Serial Killer

When I was staying in the Riverland for work I was scrolling through some random profiles on a new website I was trialling & started chatting to this cute boy who only lived a few kms out of Berri where I was staying. We chat a little while & he invites me over.

I pluck up the courage as this is the first guys house I’ve ever been too while on this slutty quest & I’m hours away from anyone I know, I start wondering if this is a good idea as I get in the car & the sun is sinking low in the sky. I decide to just ‘get a grip’ & crank the music, but that was probably a mistake. I forget what the music was that was playing but it was kinda an eerie song, it was now pitch black, being that he was out in the country with no street lights, plus I almost hit 3 rabbits, a bird flew out in front of me in the darkness & then I saw a kangaroo. The GPS took me to his street, there were no street lights, no neighbours, vineyards on one side & I seriously looked like I was going to be murdered out here! I did a quick u-turn & put my foot down to go back to the comfort of the hotel.

Serial Killer

I messaged him on the app when I got back to the hotel & I was quite honest, he laughs & explains he does have neighbours & that I should come back. I suggest he comes to the hotel but he says he’s shy & doesn’t want to get kicked out. I don’t really get that but I say ok & agree that perhaps we could meet in the daylight the next day. I finish work at 5:00pm & want to go for a walk first but could be there about 6:00pm. He agrees.

Next day in the day light I start the trek again, we have discussed me going another way which includes me going over the ferry. It’s much easier & in the light of day I realise that his house isn’t as scary as I first thought. His house is brand new, he has neighbours right next to his house (probably closer than my neighbours at home) & he’s also waiting out the front for me to arrive as I was messaging him when I was on the ferry.

He’s really tall & better looking than his photos so I am pleasantly surprised. We go inside & his house is immaculate, not a thing out of place & everything looks completely brand new. He asks if I have eaten, which I haven’t so he cooks a store bought frozen pizza. Then his phone rings & of course I can only hear one side “oh really? Oh ok, I’ll be there in a minute” I figure that this is the ‘rescue call,’ mostly done by women, where you get a friend to call 30 minutes in to a date so that if it’s going bad you can bail. So he says to me, ‘I just have to go help my dad for a second, pick something on the TV’ I think WTF!

So there I am sitting in his lounge room, watching TV while he goes somewhere. I think this isn’t good. I start to think about horror movies & what might happen to me as I sit there trying to work out his complex remote control.

When he comes back, we watch TV, eat pizza & some lollies. I feel so awkward being this is the first guys house I’ve ever been too from a dating website & I feel like I should leave, I don’t want to overstay my welcome, I also can never tell if they are interested or not. At 9:30pm, at the door he says you don’t have to go, I say I better as I have to work tomorrow & he shakes my hand! Yes, he shook my hand to say goodbye. We talked a bit after that he wanted me to come back to the Riverland & added me on Facebook but I didn’t see it going anywhere. However he was a really nice guy & someone I reckon I could of been in a relationship with. Pity about the distance & chemisty.

#IBD4U

Hockey Puck

During my phase of ‘I don’t want a boyfriend’ I stumble across this younger but cutish guy that I think is alright & might be good for yet another one night stand. However when we start texting & he asks me to tell him five facts about myself, I think start to think that this one might be different, we text facts back & forth all night, I stayed up late waiting for his responses that make me smile. When he text first thing the next day I grinned like a fool, texting all day even though I should have been doing work – these texts all day go on for about a week before we talk about catching up.Hockey Puck

We arrange to meet up at my house to watch Netflix, he comes over & sits on the couch not really seeming interested or looking at me, but makes me watch crime shows all night, as I walk him out & don’t get a kiss goodnight, I just assume that he’s not interested at all. Jumping into bed feeling another dating disaster story for my blog, when my phone flashes with a text, it’s him! He says something about how he had a good time & wanted to kiss me but didn’t know if he should, I said I was interested but didn’t know if he was. That’s when texts get dirty, we talk about all sorts, but not in a creepy way, I still feel like this guy was a good guy. He makes me skip the gym the following week & he comes over again, he kisses me this time & we have reasonably good sex (he remembers things I like in bed, like having my hands pinned above my head, which he did a few times) & then I cook him chicken nuggets. Romantic!

I didn’t realise that I had actually started liking this guy, even though he had nothing on my imaginary list for the perfect guy. He was younger than me, was living with his parents, was studying so not working & hadn’t travelled.  But when I get nothing from him the next day, I think I should send him a text first, show that I am interested in him, but I get one word answers back, so I just stop.

The next day still nothing from him & I start to question what I look like naked & how good I am in bed, that I just think I need to see if this is it with this guy, so at one last ditch attempt, I text him & ask what happened, he responds that he’s not looking for anything serious & doesn’t want to hurt me. I remind him that I’m the one who wanted something casual but I bid him goodbye.

On my way to a regional trip the next day he texts asking what I mean by ‘casual’ I explain that a bit more sex but a lot less texting. He continues to text me for a few days saying how much he wants me & complementary things he liked about my body or what we did together (so obviously not my looks or sexual abilities) so one afternoon as we’re texting, I get home from work & invite him over, suddenly he’s not feeling well & can’t come over. A few days later the same thing, I say come over but he’s still not feeling well. In the end I crack the shits at him when I was drunk when he was texting me so I tell him to fuck off.

Weeks later I start getting texts again from him, I wrote back to one but ignored the follow up message… so stay tuned, who knows what might happen!

UPDATE: He sent me a “hey how are you” text about 3 months later, I chose to ignore him completely! I’m sick of giving men second chances.

#IBD4U