I love that time when you accept someone online, they are attractive to you, their profile seems quite good, it’s like you have some things in common & then you start chatting to them & the conversation flows easily. You chat for hours about all sorts of crap & best of all he hasn’t asked you one of the following at all (let alone within the first 5 minutes):
- What are you wearing?
- What are you looking for?
- When was the last time you had sex?
- How big are your tits?
- Are you waxed?
When you talk about what you want from online dating you seem like you are both on the same page about everything, how you want to be in a relationship but also want your own life still, but trust & respect each other enough not to get jealous. How you both sleep with a ceiling fan on, what side of the bed you sleep on, what foods & wine you like, going out wine tasting, how you’re going to go shopping together to help him with sheets & towels, how he’ll be your spider removalist & what music you like. When we do talk about sex, it’s not weird or sleazy, its actually more about the things we like & don’t like, things we have in common more than talking about how hard they’re going to fuck you or how many hours they will go down on you.
He tells me to stop being so perfect & hopes that when we meet, we have a connection. We try to find things that we don’t have in common, like the fact that he smokes a little, I said it wasn’t a deal breaker but not something I love. But I was willing to overlook that in the hopes that this guy might be a potential boyfriend. You know my friends motto “Give him a go.”
I really love this part, before you’ve even met, where you can actually believe that he might be a guy you really like & can see yourself with in the future. I love how optimistic you feel & you build it up in your head, which is why meeting quickly is really important. I used to always put them off for a week or even two, text every day & end up with this relationship in my head but it’s best to get it over & done with, usually so you can move on.
We talk online on Sunday & talk for over four hours before he says maybe we should talk on the phone, so I give him my number & he calls me. The conversation doesn’t flow that easily, he seems to be lost for things to say so I talk a lot, but he does still ask me out for drink, knowing my week was pretty busy he said we’ll keep in touch.
I decide while lying there awake on Monday morning, thinking about what the drinks date would be like, that I need to rearrange my gym schedule & meet this guy tonight. I text him & let him know I can do some rearranging & meet him tonight if he is free at 7:30 pm, he says yes but maybe earlier. I agree to 6:30 pm, but at 5:30 pm, I’m stuck in my bosses office so I text him letting him know that I won’t make it by 6:30 pm but will let him know when I am leaving work.
At 6:30 pm I leave work & text him apologising profusely, as I don’t want to be one of those women who dick guys around & I really hate running late, but say we can meet at 7:30 pm & he agrees. I race home, shower, fix my make up & shove my hair into a messy bun, find a casual yet appropriate date outfit & I’m out the door.
He’s there when I arrive already having a beer, so I sit down & say hello with an apology vomit before going to get my own drink. He looks a little different to his photos, mainly due to his glasses, but I remember thinking throughout the date that he was cute & we had so much in common that I’d give him a go. However the conversation lacked something & I felt like I talked a lot again. He got a second drink & we struggled a bit to make the conversation flow, so he skulls the rest of his beer & put the empty glass on the table saying ‘we should head off.’ Outside the pub he says that it was nice to meet me & goodbye, no touching.
I knew it was a short date but I was so surprised when I got in my car at 8:30 pm! Wow, that must be a record – Worlds shortest date. At about 9:30 pm he texts saying ‘Thanks for meeting me this evening, it was nice to meet & you seem like a nice lady but unfortunately I think we can both agree that there wasn’t a chemistry worth pursing, I wish you well with your search. Thanks.’
I guess the thing that is annoying about that, is not that there was no chemistry, I thought so too but I always get told “you’re too fussy, give him a go” & when I do, I end up feeling like shit. I mean is there ever going to be a guy that I can reject before they beat me to the punch? No because I always give them a bloody go! I go out with people I don’t think are that attractive to me, I go out with people who are boring, I give people a second chance that have hurt me yet they can’t even spend more than hour with me? Even Milky stayed on a date for two hours with someone because he didn’t want to be rude, until I text him. I’m actually getting genuinely concerned about what might be wrong with me?
A few nights later, he hasn’t deleted me off his contact list & starts chatting to me, saying how much of a shame it was that we didn’t connect. I say that I kinda got a vibe from the phone call which is why I rearranged my Monday night to make sure we met quickly for a drink. I said I would’ve at least tried another date but didn’t feel it either. He then says ‘it’s a shame, I’m sure you give great head.’ Well I guess you’ll never know!
He keeps the conversation going, more than he did on the night we met, he says he thinks I’m pretty & how much of a shame it was we didn’t connect, I feel like he’s buttering me up for something. Then he asks ‘so are you just looking for a relationship or are you open to something casual?’ BINGO! I knew it. I reply that I am open to something casual & he says we could do that. I think about it for a while & think if we didn’t have chemistry then is the sex just going to be shit? I mean I don’t need any more shit sex in my life! However, since I haven’t had sex in a few weeks now, I am really keen. At least this won’t get complicated like Milky? Or will it?
He ends up messaging me the next day to say it’s probably best if we don’t start something, we should just focus on finding someone. I reply that I said that last night, he says I hope you find what you are looking for & I delete him before he can change his mind again!