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My blog is becoming a bit of a hit. hahaha…

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One of my no no’s for a profile is to write that you want “a girl who looks after themselves”, I hate it with a passion, I don’t even know what they mean by it & do men not understand what type of message it sends to a woman? So I almost didn’t add this guy because of it, plus he is younger & I wasn’t really sure about his pictures either – he doesn’t exactly look like he looks after himself, but we started chatting a bit & it was quite good, he gave me his number & we started texting. We text a lot, like every day all day, that I was getting to a point that if I don’t meet this guy soon I am going to get too attached. So when he asked to go out on the weekend I say yes. He texts me all day of the date night but then at like 3:00 pm he says his mum called & wants to do Mother’s Day dinner. I say it’s all good, have a great night & end up going out with a friend & the ‘Bowie’ evening happened (probably also because Bowie said that it was bullshit that Origin had to go to a family thing.) Red Flag!

Anyway he continues to text me the next day when I’m feeling sorry for myself, hungover & shameful that I had sex with someone the night I was supposed to catch up with Origin. But all through the next week, we text every day, we send each other random pics of our furniture & we joke a lot with great banter calling each other names & about him not having a TV in his room & me having a king sized bed. We also text about everything that we hate about meeting people, I say how I hate that you never know what to do when you walk up, give them a kiss on the cheek? A handshake? or worse, wave at them? There’s also the awkwardness if they go to kiss you on the cheek but you go to shake their hand, then you end up with their dick in your hand. Bahahaha. Origin says he agrees & that he’ll kiss me on the cheek hello. I also talk about how my friend always tells me that I might come across superficial because I always talk about my renovations or where I’m travelling too next, I explain that it’s not to make them feel bad or to prove that I am better than them, it’s because I am finally in a place in my life that I can finally do things to my house. I think we’ve got all the awkwardness out of the way!

He finally asks me out again to have a drink. He texts me all day before the date but I also think that he’ll bail so I plan the coffee date with Woody because I also think that this will be the end of chatting to Origin, as per every other date I have been on.

All throughout the day he messages to say he’s been shopping to have something to wear & he’s a brand snob so he’s bought a Ralph Lauren jumper, so I start freaking out thinking I need something nice & new to wear. After a long three hours at the hairdresser I have one hour until my next appointment for the day to go shopping, I run into my favourite shop & try on ten tops before running out with three. I run into another shop for tops to wear underneath & then into a cheap funky jewelry shop to buy a necklace or ring.

We plan to meet at & 7:30 pm but he’s texting saying he’s ready when I’m on the date with Woody, so I say perhaps 6:30 pm. He’s there when I arrive, drinking a beer, he stands up & gives me a kiss on the cheek as previously discussed (Cute!) & he asks if I want a drink, I say I’ll get it but he follows me to the bar & buys me a wine. We chat easily, about all sorts, he says he got there at 6:10 pm because he didn’t want to be late. When he asks me which football team I go for, I say that I don’t really follow football but if I have to I just go for the team my primary school friend went for because they were the only games I ever watched, he says which team & when I tell him he gets excited as it’s his team! Scored some points there without even trying!

We have a few more drinks & he says he’s hungry, I agree & he says ‘we’ll do Rock Paper Scissors to see who gets a menu’ I wish I had of played instead of saying ‘I’ll get them, I don’t mind’ but anyway we’re trying to decide what to eat because he wants a schnitzel because I talked about it all week, but he doesn’t want a whole one, so I suggest we share & get an entrée too. He agrees & I go up to order since he’s paid for all the drinks so far. I don’t know what type of gravy he wants so I order & when I get back I ask which gravy he would’ve wanted, he says pepper, I say no, he says Dianne & I say yes. Cute, scoring more points now!

We share dinner & 3 & a half hours later we decide it’s time to go, he walks me to his car & he’s parked almost nose to nose with me, he asks if I want to catch up again, I say yes. (I actually had a really good time & he’s better looking in real life that his douche selfies.) he says give us a kiss pecks me on the lips & does this cute tickle on my stomach – which makes my tummy jump, before we go our separate ways.

I live about 3 minutes from the pub, so I’m home & in bed within about 8 minutes when I get a text from him, saying he had a good night & would’ve stayed longer if his dogs weren’t inside. I respond letting him know I had a good time too, when he says ‘sorry about that shitty kiss, I’m better than that’ I again say that’s ok & maybe next time it’ll be better.


He texts me the next day to see how I am & he revels his sick with a sore throat, so I say that I’m glad he didn’t kiss me. He agrees & we chat a fair bit for the next few days, he takes the days off work so I keep asking how he is & we text a bit. On Wednesday morning I ask how he’s doing & he says he’s back at work, what are my work plans for the day, I say I’m in the city most of the day & he suggests we catch up for coffee, so I rearrange my lunch break to meet him for coffee near his work. I thank god silently that I got up that morning & put on a full face of makeup & had washed my hair the night before as I am going out for dinner with a girl friend. I also was going to wear the top I wore on Saturday night but wore another one, which was bloody lucky!

I’m in the coffee shop when he arrives looking like a homeless person, t-shirt, jeans & beanie but he’s still cute. He offers to buy me a coffee & we talk really easily for 25 minutes before he has to go back to work. I can’t believe how quickly the time goes. We walk out of the shops & he says ‘Gee you are short aren’t you?’ I laugh as he’s not that much taller than me & I say that to him, but he says he feels tall. I get the feeling he doesn’t want to show me which building he works in but I parked my car that way so we walk together. He says he doesn’t want to kiss me & get me sick so he’s not being a prick, I agree so we just stand awkwardly saying goodbye, he says ‘we’ll catch up again’ I say yeah & he imitates me saying yeah & laughs, I say ‘fuck off’ with a giggle & he says ‘see ya jerk’ & we both laugh & walk off…


Guest Blogger: Sex On The Beach

Another one from my guest blogger & fellow blogger. Anyone remember MIA Undies? Kinda seems like I’m not 100% alone, except maybe for the loosing my undies part. Hahaha.

Sand paper condom! Oh god, that brings back memories.

The link to her new FB page to follow her is  –

Thanks again for sharing. This is exactly why I started blogging. So I know I am not alone!


Boyfriend #2

I haven’t ever really talked a lot about my one & only real relationship that I’ve had with Boyfriend. So I’ll give you a little insight to what our relationship was (over a few blog posts – spoiler alert – no cliff hangers on these ones, because you already know we broke up!) & there are some things about our relationship that may help you understand why I maybe like I am, or maybe it’ll just confuse you more.

Boyfriend & I met at work, which was a supermarket, I was probably around 21 at the time, him a couple of years older. He was the new night fill manager & I had worked at the store for a few years & was recently promoted to the assistant deli manager. When he started, he had a girlfriend but I thought he was cute. Our paths always crossed on nights out with work people – which was quite often being in our early 20’s, plus we went to Big Day Out (the festival that is no longer) & always chatted at work.

After he broke up with his girlfriend, we were both given the opportunity to do a in-house retail management course, which meant that we studied together once a week with other employees from the company. I hoped to sit next to him because I knew him but still didn’t think there was anything there.

We swapped numbers to so we could contact each other about the course, I remember being in Sydney with my sister when he first start talking to me via text asking me a really dumb question (which I find out later was just a way to start the conversation with me). We text a bit – this was also when texting wasn’t unlimited so we didn’t just text all day, however it was a lot, especially at 30 cents a pop!

I remember feeling like a teenager when I was out one evening with friends, I think at the Christmas carols in the park when he was messaging me. This was before people were always looking at their phones & had them on silent, so it kept beeping, my friend snatched my phone off me & started replying for me. How mortifying!

Around this time too, I realised when I was on late nights, every time he would come to the deli to get his hot dinner & I surprised myself by always giving him a cheaper price on all the left over crap that was in the hot food counter.

I went to Fiji with a friend & met Swiss, then when I came back, all the work people went out one weekend & I remember being really drunk & telling him how I didn’t want a boyfriend & I was happy being a single 22 year old. We end up back at his house, I’m not sure how or why I went to his place at Magill, miles away from where I live with my parents. Nothing happened, we both just feel asleep on separate couches.

The following weekend, I’m at a family event. I am tipsy & am thinking of him. I send him a text “I’ve got the hiccups” next minute I have texted him the address of my uncles & he comes to pick me up. My aunty decides that she’s going to go talk to him in the driveway, again I am mortified, this guy is going to be scared off by my family! We go to his place, then to a bar for some drinks (like I need any) then back to his house. This is where he kisses me. I have sex with him on the first official date (just him & I), but I figure that we’ve been friends for ages & basically been on heaps of dates, have been messaging back & forth. I realise that I really like him & I hope that I’m not just a root for him.

Later I asked Boyfriend when he started to like me, because I wanted to know who liked who first. He said he started to like me after Big Day Out (we all went as a group) but I didn’t start thinking about him until we were doing that course together in the middle of the year. I guess it is feasible that a guy would like me before I liked him!



Sometimes there are guys out there that are honest about what they want & I respect & thank them for that because then I can make the decision about what you want to do, rather than them stringing me along. When this guy said he just wanted casual hook ups, I explained I’d just got out of something like that & wasn’t interested in getting back into that because I feel like I barely made it out of that one alive, with my dignity intact.

Anyway he keeps chatting to me after the first chat which I’ll give him points for that – I always struggle to be the first to message. So one night I was planning a date with a guy but he bailed (Story to come), Bowie starts chatting to me online & says that he thinks it’s bullshit why the other guy cancelled. I don’t know if it’s to make me feel shit so I’ll sleep with him or what but I had told my friend that I would go to a gig with her because I had nothing else to do plus she had a spare ticket & while chatting to this guy he says that he might come too. I don’t think too much of it, many guys say that sort of stuff all the time. I so tell my friend how this guy was perhaps going to come to tonight, but we just enjoy ourselves.

Two bottles of wine down, we’re having a great night, my friend goes to the toilet & I stay in the main room, she comes back & says that there’s a band in the other area & this gig was depressing her so we walk into the other room. A guy & her point at each other & start laughing, I have no idea what is going on but then I realise it’s Bowie! He realises who I am & he tells me that my friend had lent him $1 when he was at the smoke machine that wouldn’t take his $20 note. What are the odds?

We talk for a while, I have no idea what about but when his friend rocks up we end up hanging out together & all go back into the he main room (we snuck them in as they didn’t have tickets!) We kiss on the dance floor, I mean he’s there so I may as well. Might not be a lasting relationship but at least it’ll get Milky out of my head!

At the end of the night, I don’t really remember a lot, three bottles of wine & I am quite drunk, we’re sitting outside & he gives me his jacket to wear, even though I have a little jumper to put on, but somehow (I don’t know the conversation) but he gets in the car with us & comes back to my place for the night. I don’t really remember a lot which is probably not good, but we had crazy wild drunk sex & fell asleep, with the covers everywhere.

He wakes up early, I think I’m still drunk but I did say I’d drop him home, he says to drop him at a train station but I just can’t do that, I’ve had similar happen to me (remember Travel Agent?!) & it sucks, but then I remember his house is about an hour or more from mine. We talk easily on the way to his house, it’s not awkward which is nice, he kisses me quickly goodbye when he gets out the car & I haven’t heard from him since, yet he hasn’t deleted me from the app. But we were clear about what it was so that’s the good thing. I don’t have to wonder the stupid range of questions that seem to plague me after I meet someone new:

“Does he like me?”

“Will he call me?”

“Will I see/hear from him again?”

“Am I good in bed?”


The next week he messages me for a bit & I tell him that I don’t remember much, he tries to tell me that we didn’t do anything, which I know is a lie, so he tells me the truth what he remembers & what he liked. He asks me what I liked & what I would get him to do to me if I was there. He tells me that makes him hard. We talk a little more that day but a few days later when I log on to the site, I see that he’s deleted me. I mean, what the fuck DUDE! I know we weren’t looking for the same thing but my god, what is wrong with these people?



Reactivating my account, I get more likes than I ever have before, I chat to an electrician guy who asks if I’m free to catch up. He looks alright on his profile & we’ve chatted a fair bit so I think why not, what could it hurt. If worse comes to worse, then it’s just a good story for my blog!

He suggests the worst local pub near my house to catch up & I immediately say no & suggest one that has just been done up, so we decide to meet there. I walk in & don’t see him straight away so I go to the bar to get a wine so I turn around he’s at the other end of the bar so I walk up to him & say hello. He’s pretty much like his pictures but in real life he reminds me so much of Cruise & I am kinda not really attracted to him.

The drink goes well, I talk a lot which is what I do when they are quiet & I make him laugh a lot but he doesn’t really make me laugh at all. It’s easy for me when I don’t find them that attractive to be the person I am, not the shy person that guys I like see which is probably why the men I don’t like get to see the real me & actually want to see me again.

We have a couple of drinks but it’s so windy & cold that we decide to go, he walks me halfway to my car & asks if I want to catch up again, which I say yes, then he says he’ll hug me goodbye & I kinda do an awkward kiss on the cheek at the same time, not really thinking & so we kinda leave awkwardly as I didn’t actually kiss his cheek. SUPER!

I get home & minutes later there is a message on the app from him saying hey cutie, thanks for tonight, here is my number, hope we can catch up again. Why when things go ok with a guy, do I start thinking about Milky? We weren’t ever a coupe for fuck sake, he didn’t like me, he was short & lied about his age, why would I want to be with that? But I also thought about the Seacliff guy, I was actually really interested in him.


So I don’t want to lead on this guy by messaging him but I also don’t want to give up on something that could be good just because I like someone else who doesn’t like me at all. But I message him & a few weeks later after about 10 texts in total we arrange another date, coffee on a Saturday afternoon & possibly a walk.

We catch up for a coffee, he arrives & buys the coffees – Well hot choc for me as I don’t like coffee, we chat for a bit, it’s a little awkward & hasn’t gotten any better to be honest, there are a few silences which make me uncomfortable, when he finally says that the sun is in his eyes, we get up less than an hour later to go. We have an awkward goodbye & he says we should catch up again, I say the usual yeah, but don’t really mean it. I think he gets it too because I haven’t heard from him.


Guest Blogger: The Animal #2

Well I don’t know about you… But I’ve been waiting The Animal to call!

I wonder what will happen, this woman (or animal) is a little out there! Even by my standards!

The Animal #2

So we left this at The Animal going to call me, after her antics, wasn’t quite sure I wanted the call!
Yet, I did like this girl… Fit, intelligent, reasonably good sense of humor… maybe it could work? Even with the “Outdoor” escapade desires!

Anyway, so two days later I get a call…
The usual ‘Hi how are you?’ etc… Then the apology for going off her nut.

Apology accepted.

Would you like to come over, I’ll cook dinner and we’ll have a wine or two?

Yeah, why not!
In to the city, meet at apartment foyer, kisses, cuddles, all the nice stuff.
Up we go. Extremely nice dinner with Salmon and healthy stuff we are both in too.
White wine to start, followed by a lovely Pinot from the Adelaide Hills… Going well. No signs of the crazy side coming!
Discussion had of the antics, plus the loss of plot!! All good, stress from work and ex can do that to you (Right? We have all been there!!)

So after a wine or 3, the glass keeps getting filled… At this point very aware I can’t drink too much more, have to drive.
“No, you can stay here” she says…

Ok, well I guess we have done the deed already, so what is that going to hurt?

More wine…
Turns to romance…
Then fun in the kitchen…. (Kitchen is fun by the way… Just saying… Sturdy bench???? You get the picture…)

“Let’s move to the bedroom “

Not going to say no at this point, as there are things that have to be dealt with…
Didn’t think about the last time with a tree branch… Surely this will be normal…

So to keep condensed and not go into all the gory details, just before we end up completely naked, she asks
“Have you ever been tied up, and had sex with a Tiger?”
Being a lad from way out of the city, sheepishly reply “Nope”
Then notice the dog like collars on bed head….
“Would you like to?”

There’s alarm bells going on here already, yet the little head was talking not the big head… Mmmmm…. Fuck it, only live once hey….

So strapped in….
Rather different not being control…

This is the part where the nickname comes…. May not seem nuts for others, yet my naive country upbringing comes out here…

She starts to growl, then scratch and claw at my chest…. And very close to drawing blood…
And the mind is going ”WTF!!!!!!!”
At this point… Yep, have to say I’m not enjoying this and the more I bucked, the more she seemed to be getting off…


Then thought, Na… I’m done with this… I have to say so….
But before I could she says
“You’ve gone limp”

Yep… It happened….

“Yeah well, not sure having sex with a Tiger was on my agenda this evening”

Boom! Released the “Animal”

Still tied up, out came a horse whip…
Laying completely starkers, I’m thinking ‘Holy shit!!’
“What the hell are you going to do with that?”

“I’m going to punish you and “him” for spoiling my fun”

Now this is when I lost it and pretty sure most of the CBD heard me…
I went off my tree ”Get me the fuck out of this shit!”
“Really?” Was her reply
“Fuck yes… NOW!”

With that, and a very forlornly face, she undid the collars….
Out of bed like a jackrabbit, with the “Animal “ quickly behind trying to apologise for being so forward…
Clothes gathered, put on, completely ignoring every single word…
Dressed and bolted…
No parting words from me except this… ”Animal, please, next guy you want to do this with, take it easy on him”

Never heard from her again…

Did run into her going up Lofty once, with the new guy. Ignored each other. One good thing though, as I was coming down and she was on way up… Fuck did I run faster!!!

And with that Ladies and Gents, that’s when I ceased to use anything online for dating…
And also pretty much lost interest in any sort of meet and greets…
Sit back these days and smile a little about this, as in “Holy shit I find myself in some pickles”
Not willing to do find myself in those situations again. However, still believe the fairytale exists… Think everybody should…
Moral of the story…. Enjoy your time being single, yet if you don’t like it, never accept anything that is less than your standards…
If it doesn’t fit with who you are, say so. Be honest. Honesty is better than silence.

I am really lost for words with this one! But thanks to my reader for being brave & sharing with not only me, but with all of you!