Month: Jun 2024

So I didn’t know what would happen after that night, I didn’t know that he had messaged the Director at 2:00am saying he had a disagreement & that he quit. Hindsight is wonderful, I mean, if I hadn’t listened to this new guy bitch about the company that I was enjoying working for, for the last three hours & if I was more drunk or even perhaps more sober, I would have got him to come back inside & just go to bed in the spare room, talk it over in the morning? If I had of known I’d be the one thrown under the bus, I would have done things a lot differently.

My boss calls me Saturday morning & I run through what happened, briefly & not trying to make a big deal about it, I didn’t do anything wrong – did I? I decide to message Trainer & say that I hope his head doesn’t hurt too much & that he’s ok, but he never reads it. Late in the afternoon, my boss messages me to tell me that Trainer is going to go on the planned business trip on Monday & that he would be reporting to him & that I am not to contact him. I say no worries.

I should also say that this whole week with my boss here, he has be singing my praises etc, when I had the quarterly performance review with my other manager, he said he wanted me on his team full time, that he was really impressed with my initiative & that it’s rare for someone to meet their budget within the first 3 months, but I was doing really well. I had no reason to be worried, I finally feel like I fit in & I feel like this industry is where I have found a passion.

Now having said that, there were lots of red flags with the company too, but like any job, when you’re in the “in crowd” or you’re dating someone ‘you really like’, you sort of turn a blind eye to things. You don’t think about the fact you gave up your Mothers Day to pick someone up from the airport and take them somewhere. You don’t think about the lack of support when you had to fire someone, even the Director of the other part of the company – I had someone online & that was it. You don’t think about the time you fell over at home & dislocated your shoulder & didn’t take any time off at all. You don’t think about the public holidays in SA when it was a holiday in QLD and your bosses called you, you just answer, when you should have ignored it. You don’t think about the fact your dad gives up a day over Easter with you to mount some TV’s & do some other odd jobs, when you should’ve made them pay for a handyman. I always go all in with jobs & I really give everything to my work, I focus because I only have the dogs & I would rather focus on work than dropkick boys… Clearly I have poor judgement.

So Monday is a public holiday, I get a notification that Trainer has used the company Uber account to get to the airport. Well that’s good he’s gone on the work trip, that gives us a week to just reflect on what happened. My boss messages me & asks for a report about what happened Friday. I write back Tuesday morning saying lets not make a big deal out of it. I figure if Trainer went away, I don’t want to get him fired. We can be adults, besides he said multiple times that he can separate work and his personal life so when he gets back it’ll be ok, I won’t be his manager soon.

Even though there was an organisational change happening, I wasn’t looking for other jobs, but I’m not going to lie that I had a look around to see what’s out there. I would apply for things I really wanted but I wouldn’t be applying for anything and everything, I wasn’t desperate to leave but I wanted more than what this company could offer, but I wanted to get more experience for my resume in this industry also. I figured eventually either he would leave or I would, I was sure of that, I just didn’t know when. I figured once I’m in the other role full time, I won’t be in the office as much as I have been either, as I won’t be managing the staff, I’ll be out meeting with clients and probably work from home a little bit more too.

Later on Tuesday my boss texts me & asks for the report anyway, I figure that it’s going to be used to performance manage Trainer, so I word very casually & they asked for the messages, so I sent them also. Again, I figure that if you read those messages, anyone can see that I didn’t invite this interaction, besides allowing him to come to my house. I’m not saying I’m innocent – not at all & I am sort of expecting a written warning or something, even though my boss basically said it was ok that morning. So I hit send on this casual report – kicking myself I didn’t keep a copy.

On the way home Tuesday, I get a work email, which I don’t look at because I am driving, when I get home I look at my phone but my emails are asking for my password. I put it in but it says it’s incorrect. I look it up & try a few more times. Incorrect. I have taken to leaving my work computer at the office, sick of working for hours when I get home only to be demoted, so I fire up my personal computer & log on to the company schedule, which is a web based program & it works but my emails still don’t on my phone. Weird, but I figure I’ll just get IT to look at it in the morning, perhaps because it’s my personal phone it’s been logged out or something. There is always IT crap going on at this workplace.

It’s almost an hour drive to work everyday, which starting at 7:30 am everyday, has been taking it’s toll. It’s exactly 7:30am when my phone rings, I am driving, I answer on the steering wheel, it’s my boss, I am instantly suspicious when I realise he’s using my personal number. He says hello & say’s he just going to connect HR. I know what this means… They advise me that they are not going ahead with my probation & I say “Are you serious?” They say yes & because I am caught so off guard I start to fight for my job, even the other part that I am going to be doing full time soon. I ask if it’s about what happened Friday, they say no, I ask what is the reason & the HR lady – who is also an owner just snaps “#IBD4U, what happened Friday was inappropriate, but your not the right fit for the company & your probation has ended.” I hang up. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.

I am driving! To work! Is that the most inappropriate way to fire someone?! At least make a meeting with me when I arrive. Or why didn’t they do it last night when they clearly shut off my emails? I think about pulling over, leaving the key in the car on the side of the road & walking away. But I don’t want to be charged some fee by them, so I am less than a minute away from the office, I pull into the work carpark & see the receptionist on her mobile outside, they are telling her. I walk in, advise the staff I have been fired & pack up what is left of my desk, trying to remember what is mine & not to leave anything behind. The staff are all seemingly very surprised & I catch an uber home on their dime. I am so shocked.

I think what fucks me off the most is there is no feedback, like I asked if this was because of Friday & they say no. They won’t elaborate as to why, so my overthinking brain just goes into every scenario. I am also so disappointed that if there were problems/issues or concerns with my performance, why hadn’t they addressed it & had meetings with me so I knew what I was doing wrong & could change my management style? I’d been there five months & had not had one negative thing said to me from my management, I had not had a manager come to SA to support me being they knew this role & managing people would be something I would need developing and support.

Instead they just tell me over & over again that I am doing well & then fire me for what? I guess I will never know why, just like the previous job who did the exact same thing. The previous company, unclear what they want when employing me, then getting annoyed when I don’t hit the unachievable targets. I think this company were unsure what they wanted in SA, obviously as they employed me for one thing, then gave me two jobs to do, then they saw an opportunity to restructure when people left the organisation. I wasn’t the only one demoted, my counterpart in QLD was demoted also, so I highly doubt he’ll stick around, however neither of us got an opportunity to apply for the new national role & the job ad was not at all what they told me they were looking for.

& lets not forget Trainer… He is still working there to this day! He was the inappropriate one, he told me he wanted to kiss me at the fucking office… How is he still working there?! I did sort of expect to hear from him when he got back from his trip. But it is obvious that he threw me under the bus, while I was trying to save him, otherwise both of us would have been fired. I guess they need the lackies more than they need management, so I would say he’s on borrowed time, or honestly, a company that is owned by women is the most sexist company I have ever worked for…

What do you think? Do you think I was fired because I let a staff member come to my house?

#IBD4U

I haven’t posted in a while & you will see that I no longer have Facebook as my personal account was hacked so I can’t access the #IBD4U page & can’t contact Facebook to help because they never reply! I guess that also nothing has been happening really, I have put 100% of my efforts into my career which, lets face it, hasn’t really gone well in the last few years.

I am working as a senior manager in a small organisation with no one really above me in my state, they’re all interstate so I like that I am totally in charge – however this comes with people yelling – yes yelling at me daily, when I start at 7:30am, I am pulled aside for a “can I talk to you?” chat, which ends up with me staring blankly at them while they babble on & I just ignore what they are saying because they are just upset that I am their manager & they think I don’t have the experience to do this job.

I recruit people & a guy gets employed – he is my age & not hot but cute, we have good banter, the team finally starts to look solid. But I have a dipstick in the team who is bringing everyone down so my manager comes to visit for a week. During this week, they’re supposed to end this woman’s contract, sort out this dipstick (who ends up resigning on the Wednesday) & unbeknownst to me, it’s also a week to tell me that there is a restructure taking place, I do a split role & they basically demote me to the lesser role for the same pay. I guess that’s a silver lining in all this. But I am disappointed & it’s not the job I applied for & when I was offered the job, they decided it would be this dual role & I would decide which one I wanted when it came time to split it. Great… So I am stuck doing the same job I have done for years & be a dibber dobber to the new manager. I don’t even know what to do at this point.

The morning my manager is leaving, there is a client who chats to me & my admin support is always trying to set me up so she says that’s he’s good looking etc, I say that I am not going to date a client & my manager from interstate pipes in about how it’s not frowned upon & then they start talking about inter office dating – that pretty much everyone in head office is married to someone from head office that it’s not a problem. So there’s lots of banter & jokes, it’s a fun office to be in.

Once I drop him at the airport, my moodiness lifts, I am happy the dipstick has quit this week & I know that things will be better at our site, except they didn’t get rid of the woman like they were supposed too. I am helping the new guy with some stuff, even though he really should be helping the other staff with their work – which is what he is rostered to do. But we have some jokes & banter throughout the day.

Now I’m not going to lie, because upon reflection it was quite a flirty day, however that wasn’t my intention, you all know, if you’re a long time reader that I have no flirt game & I have no idea when someone is flirting with me. I saw it as a bit of cheeky banter, but I certainly wasn’t giving off any sort of vibes that I am interested in this guy. There were not innocent touches or anything, it was genuinely all about work.

It’s at the end of the week, I was hoping we’d get out of there around 3:00pm, but there are still clients there at 4:00pm, once they leave I go to the fridge. I have brought in a ‘light’ beer for each (1 standard drink) which we cracked open to celebrate the week. It’s been a big week. As the 3 of us are leaving, the women says “lets go to the pub for a beer.” I knew this wasn’t a good idea as there is drama with this woman, she’s asking me constantly about her contract which fucks me off that my manager didn’t deal with it, so luckily I had a lash client at 6:00pm. So I said no & went home. I assumed they would do the same.

At 6:15 pm, I get a message from him with a picture of him & her having a beer at a pub, asking me how my lashes are going, I laugh at it once I am done & he writes, ” I hear we are having beers together tomorrow just us two.” I figure it’s her writing for him so I just say, “Oh are we now…?” with a smiley face, he replies “So you weren’t flirting with each other today?” The conjugation of the sentence to me is like someone else is writing for him, just as I suspected so I write back telling her to give him his phone back. I even message the admin chick because I think she’s with with them too or they’re messaging her & this is just a joke that I will end up feeling like a twat about when he says, nah just kidding.

But it’s real. He says that I should ask him something that only he would know from the day to prove it – I can’t think of anything that would be obvious so I take a while to reply when I get, “Or am I wrong?” Stupidly I don’t know if he is right or wrong, I mean I didn’t think I was flirting or leading him to believe it was more than work banter. I do enjoy cheeky banter with men, I just don’t think it means anything, he said at one point during the day that he was ‘happily single.’ So I ask what I did to make him think I was flirting but he says “Am I wrong? I’ll be honest, I’d be keen.” Ummm… FUCK!

I ask how he sees this going down being I am his boss – because I also don’t just want a fling, I am not looking for anything at all, but I certainly don’t want a fling with a staff member when I have a fucking tiny team. He says “I don’t know how to say it but work and my personal like is separate.” I ask him how many beers he’s had now, “Beers are irrelevant when I wanted to kiss you at 2 this arvo.” DOUBLE FUCK, this is on my work number!

I am not opposed this, but I hadn’t thought about it, I mean I am not going to be his direct manager soon after the restructure in a couple of weeks, so maybe this could be something? We already know each other so that awkwardness is out of the way. Perhaps I should say ‘text me in the morning if you still feel the same way & we’ll catch up’ – yes why don’t I say that? Instead, I think that I should swap to my personal number, because I don’t want this conversation on my work phone…

I send a message from my personal number, “Ok, so while I am not saying yes or no, this convo probs isn’t good on my work number… What did I even do to make you want to kiss me??” I am genuinely intrigued, what the fuck did I do? I was literally helping him with work crap & there was a bit of banter, but nothing that I would think was sexy or cute really… I pretty much look like shit every day, I am stressed to the max & always rushing around.

“To give me your personal number, I think it means you want to as well. I’m happy to say I’m wrong but I don’t think I am.” How can guys be so sure?! Half the time I don’t even think my friends like me, how do guys even pick up that I am giving off vibes?! I just tell him that I don’t want work to be able to read my texts where a staff member tells me he wants to kiss me… “So I’m wrong then?” I don’t reply, is he wrong? “If I’m wrong, I don’t know how to say sorry enough and I will stop with it all.” Fuck, is he wrong? Or am I at least a little interested? “Well, you’re not right or wrong…”

He asks if I am worried about work & says that’ he’s capable of separating them if I can, then he asks “So you just want playful flirting at work?” but I honestly hadn’t though of it as more, which is what I say to him. “So if I was to say I could be at your place in an hour to have a friendly drink, what would you say?” Fuck what would I say? I know in my head it’s not a good idea, I know I should say that we should catch up tomorrow when he is sober. Coming to my house isn’t a wise move. But honestly he’s a level headed guy, what could do wrong?

I respond when he says that he’ll get an uber “An uber?! that does not imply a friendly drink” which he says “A drink doesn’t imply sex” um… “Who said anything about sex?” He says no one & that he’ll get some better beers that what I brought to work & that he’ll be on his way. He calls me, he doesn’t sound horribly drunk, so this is a good sign. But he starts to tell me what my problem is at work – that I came in as the manager too strong – making too many changes, I knew that this would be the line from the lady he went out with, but honestly I moved furniture around & labelled some folders, like are you serious woman?!

When we chat on the phone, he tells me that he was going to kiss me at the office today & he had this inner monologue going on about if he should kiss me or not. It was kinda cute to hear a guy explain what he was thinking, ‘should I kiss her, what will she do? Will she kiss me back? Does she want this or not?’ but obviously he didn’t kiss me, he asks what I would have done if he did & I tell him that I probably would have pushed him away…

But somehow the convo puts my mind at ease & I think that it will be ok if he comes over, what harm can it do, he can put his personal & work life aside, I won’t be his manager soon. I should have listened to the voice in my head that said meet him tomorrow for a drink, when he’s sober & you can dress up in something cute – we can start a proper relationship, not just a booty call at 10:00 pm. But I am typing out my address & he says it’ll be $60 to my house & he’ll be there about 9:45 pm.

I assume while waiting for his uber he sends “Some poor misses picked her bloke up and had to wait 20 minutes and then copped abuse. Guys are fucked up.” I agree & then, like some sort of fuckwit, I proceed to strip my bed & put new sheets on, fix my makeup, put on cute undies & bra, then tidy up but not too much so I don’t look ‘too clean’ as Noodle once told me!

He walks in the door with beers almost falling out of his arms, his work computer & jacket, I ask why he brought all that crap & he said that he didn’t want it all in the car overnight at the pub. Which I guess is a good idea, but his jacket? So random. He just said he grabbed stuff. So we sit down on the couch once we both have drinks, I am thankful that one of the dogs is sitting between us, he looks super drunk, like his eyes are glassy. This isn’t a good idea. He doesn’t sound that drunk, but it doesn’t take long for him to get there.

As he’s new to the organisation he doesn’t know a lot of the things that have been going on, so going out with this woman for beers & listening to her & for lack of a better word – takes her side, he rambles on & on about work. As his boss, I’m in a rock & a hard place where I try to explain that she’s not the best informant to listen too but also that she’s almost 100% behind all the drama since I have been there. He never sees my point of view on this.

He tries to kiss me at one point, but I don’t really allow it to happen, not only am I sitting on the couch, with a giant dog on my lap, he is standing over us which is just not a kiss sort of scenario to me. He tries again later but the same response from me, I mean there were times we were both standing up where he could’ve hugged me, when we were outside or in the kitchen, making the moment a bit more romantic, leading up to a kiss. I mean if I kissed him back, where would we have gone, I would’ve had to awkwardly stand up or him somehow sit down… I dunno, it just wasn’t right.

At one point, I stupidly tell him though & I 100% own this dumb decision but I would have told him sober too, that he wasn’t my first choice when we were recruiting but I am happy we did because he will do really well. I explain why & it was only because he was brought in by a director who keeps undermining me with every decision I make. I didn’t want to recruit another person who is best mates with this director. I also stupidly tell him that he earns more than me & I am his boss – yes don’t even get started on that topic!

This is where it takes a turn, or perhaps he’s more drunk than he should be & perhaps, I should just say go home or lets just go to sleep. But he goes on a rant about some feedback that he got from someone & I try to explain why the feedback wasn’t bad & calm him down, but he is standing & pacing while not backing down or even listening to what I am saying. To be honest it’s the first time I have really talked all night because I have been listening to him tell me all the crap the woman told him at drinks after work. Shit I knew & replies that I couldn’t really tell him because of what has been happening in the background.

There is a point in a rant from anyone – I know I have been drunk ranty before & it’s one of the reasons I don’t drink much any more – where you just don’t listen & the other person snaps because they are fucking over listening. I’ve had a couple of wines, but I am no where near drunk – I wouldn’t drive but I am not drunk & I am so fucking over listening to this bullshit about the feedback, I’ve tried to say my side but he’s not having a bar of it, that I snap & turn away, “I am fucking done with this conversation.” He seems to get it & sits down, but then keeps saying things about this feedback, I tell him again I am done with this conversation & he says “Should I get an Uber home?” I don’t really remember answering but I get up & turn off the heater & switching off lights. My actions say that, that would be best!

This is when the true colours show. Yes I am pissed off – this was supposed to be a friendly drink. He tells me I am depressed & that he’s gotten more excitement out of my dogs than me… WHAT?! I hit record on my phone because I don’t know what the fuck is happening or what will happen, he tells me that the whole night I’ve been sad & that work has fucked me over, that he understands that… Ok mate, we’ll you’ve come to my house after 10:00 pm, it’s now almost 2:00 am & you’re drunk, dribbling shit about work without letting me talk.

But he tells me that they should treat me with respect & that he has treated me with respect, that I deserve more than what they are paying me. I clearly can’t get my words out because I stutter trying to tell him that I’m depressed because I have sat here listening to him all night – trying to be his manager & listen but also not being able to get him to listen to me. He says that he can’t deal with the crying, I ask who is crying? (Because it sure isn’t me!) He tells me it was the woman he went out for drinks with, I ask how that is my problem?

I tell him that I didn’t invite him over, which he says that I did & he wouldn’t have spent $60 to get here. Well I didn’t invite him, he invited himself, yes I didn’t say no & obviously gave him my address, but this wasn’t my idea. I offer him the money for the uber. I am so annoyed, I tell him that he’s the one who messaged me to tell me he wanted to kiss me at 2:00 pm, but I don’t know what I did to make him think he could kiss me. He says “All right, I’ll message & say I won’t be in on Monday.” My jaw fucking drops, are you kidding me right now?

He’s fucking standing in my dining room at 2:00 am quitting?! What because I didn’t fuck him? He says that he’s done & I say because I didn’t fuck you tonight, you’re quitting? He says (this is a transcript from the video) “No it had nothing to do with that, you damn well know that, I tried to kiss you & you had no real interest so I never tried again & you damn well know that, okay. I could’ve kept doing this, my hands could’ve gone somewhere, but I never did, okay, I was an absolute gentleman the whole fucking night. Okay.” I say “So you’re quitting because I didn’t reciprocate your gentlemanly ways by kissing you back?” He says that here’s his jacket & his work laptop & piss farts around with his stuff.

Maybe I should’ve shut the fuck up & let him walk out but I am so fucking dumbfounded by what is happening so I say “Are you seriously saying to me right now, in my home, that you’re quitting because I didn’t sleep with you?” & he says “You know what, I just can’t deal with the bullshit.” What bullshit? Honestly… He’s had to deal with none, he’s been there like a month. I say “So because you acted like a gentleman & I didn’t sleep with you…” He cuts me off, saying “no” which I snap back, “They were your words just now.” He says “Okay, no worries, I’m gonna take them all,” as he picks up his laptop & jacket “So then that way me & you can have a conversation in front of everyone & I don’t get accused of rape.” OH MY FUCKING GOD! WHAT…

My voice is so angry when I hear my reply in the audio, but I can’t help it, this whole night was a disaster & I should’ve known better… “You’re not going to get accused of rape, I have cameras, so you’re not going to get accused of rape mate. I never said you’re going to get accused of rape.” He says “No worries” & walks out the door. I lock the door & ignore his message to get his cigarettes off the back table.

To reiterate his earlier message “Guys are fucked up!”

#IBD4U