Noodle #37

I’ve been asked a few times if I am worried about people reading this blog who are in my blog… Especially the people in this Noodle series… Well this is only my viewpoint & my opinion of what happened, there are always 2 sides to every story – in this case there’s 3 sides! I know my side very well, I’m only getting 1 side from Noodle obviously, however I know there’s another side in this story that I don’t know! I will say this though, that if I use quotation marks in any of my stories, it’s because I have screenshots of messages from the person who wrote to me & that’s a direct quote – complete with spelling errors! Hahaha… Most of my stories are from memories, text messages & pictures. So I am not worried about anyone reading & saying this is made up, because I have the proof that it’s not. My blog is completely non fiction & actually happen to me! Again I’m not proud of what I’ve done or how things have evolved in this story, but I think unless you’ve found this deep, passionate, earth shattering chemistry with a person, then you can’t really understand it fully. Personally, I probably would be sitting there thinking the same things as you guys, had I not experienced it first hand.

Anyway, my favourite part about our Tuesday nights together is the fact that when we go back to Noodle’s car, he doesn’t leave. He gets his phone, checks it & gets back into my car & we sit there for at least an hour or more, just talking. I never thought Noodle would be keen to just talk with me like this, but he obviously does otherwise he wouldn’t do it… We talk about everything, I open up about how I used to be, with the partying, how my life has been, he opens up about his life a lot more too. Our conversations now aren’t about people in the groups, like they were at the start, I guess mainly because that was the thing we had in common, but now they are about us, about our lives our past. I never talk about the future with Noodle face to face. Even though it’s dark & he can’t really see my face, I can’t ever bring myself to tell him in person how I feel about him or what I want from him.

Later that night, when I’m home in bed, I am chatting in the groups & tell them what I have been up too, I wish I could announce that it was with Noodle who fucked me in the carwash but we never admit that stuff in the groups. Noodle does make a comment though about how lucky the guy is & I agree. What a lucky guy who gets to fuck me in a carwash… & to think that someone passed on this opportunity! I wonder if Max regrets that now?!

Before we go to sleep that night, Noodle tells me that he’s tired as it’s after midnight, we’ve spent 3 hours together then chatting for about 2 hours post interaction, but says just before we go to sleep “Thanks for being so awesome #IBD4U! Your truly good to me” I am gobsmacked by this messages & laugh internally “OMG. Are you feeling ok?” Noodle never says stuff like this to me. “Night my super sexy slutty bitch” I laugh “Maybe you do need bed. Night” & I wait for his reply “Fuck you… xxx.” This makes me laugh again as I send my standard xxx back to him. This xxx thing has become a regular occurrence now – Noodle even doing it first sometimes… Fucking hell!

Noodle & I haven’t had a morning fuck for so long. It’s almost like I gave him a key & he gave up his fake iPhone app & I’ve had to make all the effort to go to him. But this next Friday morning at 6:30 am, Noodle is sneaking into my bed. I love morning sex, it’s probably my favourite time of day to have sex. A cheeky afternoon fuck is always fun too but I think there’s something to be said about waking up & fucking. While you’re still sleepy but horny, there’s nothing better sometimes!

We haven’t been able to fuck in our old favourite position that makes me squirt like a porn star, him on top, my legs on his shoulders, him pinning my arms to be bed, staring at me intently. I cannot move & have no choice but to be fucked by him, cumming within about 2 thrusts, I’m not even kidding, his cock shape hits that spot & the fact I can’t move, just gets me going… I do beg him to stop because I am conscious of how wet I am making the bed, but I think the begging him to stop just turns him on more & he keeps going. I mean lets be honest here, I don’t actually want him to stop or I would say red, the safe word, but he knows this too, while I am begging him to stop, it’s not what I mean… This is why safe words are very important. It’s a weird concept though, when you think about it…. Because I’m begging him to stop but don’t mean it, it could be misconstrued, I guess by an onlooker. However, Noodle & I have discussed limits & safe words at length however, I also think that if you’ve had these conversations, trust your partner & know your partner well, then you actually should never need your safe word. Your partner, the Top or Dom should be well equip to read your body to know when you are at your limit. Noodle is the only guy to really push me to my limits, always pushing the boundaries, but never enough that I would ever have to safe word him.

On that same Friday night, I go out with friends for a friends birthday & Noodle reads my message but never replies before he goes offline for the night & he never comes back online when his partner goes to bed & I am laying in bed waiting, like the loser that I am, for him to come back online for a little bit of his time. I am fucking furious, why does this piss me off so much! I always message him back even when I know that he’s offline with his family, but I got out with friends & he refuses to message me. On Saturday morning we have a fight about it, I am so pissed off that he refuses to message me when he thinks or knows that I am out or offline. It doesn’t happen very often that I am offline so I just want him to feel a little bit like I do when he goes offline to be with his family. But he is a stubborn ass & never replies & waits around for my message. He just logs off & refuses to respond. Wanker!Noodle dont talk shut up.pngWe’re chatting a bit weirdly on Saturday, I’m angry & he’s paying attention to me but not really, I feel like he’s distracted. I try to initiate sexy talk but he doesn’t engage so I make myself cum, put my phone done & doze off back to sleep. We chat a bit on Saturday night, I head to my other gym (the same gym as him) at 10:00 pm, hoping that he will say to come visit him at his gym, but he doesn’t & I don’t get to talk to him much.

Sunday comes around & I am being stubborn, I refuse to look at his good morning message which came at 4:30 am till I know that he won’t be online. I am just fucking hurt, angry & feeling foolish. I can’t believe I am in this position & am so fucking perplexed about why I can’t pull myself out of this fucking mess… I am a smart woman, about to start studying law & I can’t sort my fucking love life out! We talk a little bit, I tell him that I came & fell asleep that’s why I didn’t talk to him much on Saturday, he then says night & I say night.

I wake up Monday to nothing from him & I know that he’s not going to message me, I fucking don’t want to message him either, but my fucking god, I can’t control myself. I message him morning & he replies. As we talk, I explain how I feel & he apologises for the weekend, this is the first time I actually think he’s sincere about an apology “No I am sorry. You think normally when I wake up for a piss I message you at 4:30. Believe it or not I don’t want to make you feel stupid or foolish. Nor do I want to hurt you or piss you off. Some lame ass reason  actually care about you. Even if I don’t always show it/can’t show it.” I ask if he means it & he says yes, I actually believe this apology. “You wanna know why I don’t message you when your out. Cos I don’t want to feel foolish. Don’t want to not get a message back while your distracted doing whatever your doing that night. Which in my head is fucking people. Hahaha. So I kinda get it from your point of view” OMG is he kidding me! How often do I have to reassure this guy? “I know!!! That’s why I said you don’t get it. I always feel like a fool but you refuse to let yourself so you don’t message me. You finally get it!” FINALLY! “I still feel foolish & make foolish mistakes. But jeez, I don’t let it get to me like you do hahaha.” Yeah because he has a partner & kid to distract him, he’s not sitting at home alone overthinking like I do, but it doesn’t get to him because he deosn’t reply so he doesn’t have to feel foolish, he says “Sometimes I do. I’ve had my moments, but I just don’t tell you” True, I can’t hold in my feelings sometimes when I get angry. I remind him “Today you didn’t want to continue the convo in case I didn’t want to talk to you… Cos you don’t want to feel like a fool. So instead it makes me feel more foolish.” Does he not get this? “No I was pissed at you & was being a jerk.”  Yeah well I knew that! I don’t know what he’s pissed with me for though.. “I was pissed you fell asleep sat… During the time we can chat… then pissed you ignored me Sunday morning. & then said nothing to me Sunday night & coldly said night to me. Yeah I have my lame moments too.I mean on Friday night he didn’t even say goodnight to me, so how can he be upset that I said Night. Cold or otherwise, at least I said it! He tells me ”I just wanted to chat to you. I had missed you… Then I was like well fuck you bitch” he tells me that he wasn’t happy I disappeared & went back to sleep on Saturday again. I reply ”You have no idea how it feels to have you disappear for me… But I don’t do it to you on purpose. I know you don’t either but I’m sure it doesn’t feel the same for you since you’re off living your life” He’ll never feel the same as me on this. No matter what he says ”Half the time living my life thinking about you constantly tho. ” Awww FUCK!

I tell him that I don’t know that he’s thinking about me when he’s not with me. ”Considering I haven’t deleted the chat app for the last week & messaged you every chance I get. I’m just as loserish as you. ” Fuck that makes me laugh! ”I get you think that but I don’t know it… Even when you tell me, I don’t really believe it. ”  It’s hard for me to believe that he is thinking about me when he’s just logged off & not bothered to message me. & Fuck that he hasn’t been deleting the chat app, my fucking face is my profile picture, she’ll know what I look like should she find the fucking app! Jeez, he’s risking a lot. What if she asks for his phone, I’m fucked & so is he! ”What part of me telling you I have feelings for you do you not fucking get? ” Alright, jeez… hahaha. ”The same part you don’t get.” Hahaha, being that he still thinks I’ve fucking someone else. ”I fucking see you every time we can now? & even like the parts when we don’t fuck. Just chat & shit… Only problem is we have such fucking amazing hot sex it overshadows our friendship part” Hahaha, that’s true, it sometimes does which is why we end up in these fights. I tell him that we both fucked up on the weekend, lets just have sex & make up & he agrees. Saying that we’d be one of the couples who has sex to fix everything ”I’ll be shitty at you tho (rarely tell you I am) once I’ve cummed in you all is forgiven.”



Noodle #36

The next night Noodle & I meet at his work, he’s later than usual & so I go to the gym, but I decide to wear some sexy new red lingerie for him. I am not sure why I do this after how I feel, but I want to feel sexy. I am not sure he can even touch my clit today after the record breaking amount of orgasms I had yesterday but I fuck him anyway in the back of the car – not wanting to miss an opportunity to see him. How easily I forget the things he says to me & how easily I am willing to see him after I feel like a fool. What is wrong with my vagina?!

It’s like there’s a ticking time bomb with everything we say, we can’t be straight with each other anymore, he thinks things are a compliment but I am taking offence to the things that he’s says. He tells me “Don’t make me admit I have feelings for you again…” I tell him he doesn’t have to admit it, I know & it’s why he’s an asshole to me.

Do you guys remember Milky? I am telling to Noodle about fact that I am covered in Noodle’s cum from fucking him still & his cumming on my tits, the place he loves to cum the most. When I tell him how Milky used to jump up & shower pretty much right after we finished fucking. It used to weird me out a little, like I was so dirty that he had to shower, however with Noodle, I am a different kind of dirty, Noodle loves the fact I’m always covered in his cum “Ha I’ve slept next to my wife after fucking you… My cock covered in your cum… Kinda find it hot” Jesus it’s hot but fuck it’s so terrible that we did that… Probably more than once.

The next morning I wake up to messages from Noodle, I know he’s being funny being that I get messages like this all the time from guys on the chat app “Good Morning Beautiful. You have stunning eyes. Your eyes sparkle like the sea. Wanna meet up baby. Hi. Hi. Hi. Add me on Snapchat xxx” then he sends me a dick picture. & what makes me laugh the most about those messages, is that it’s exactly what some guys send to me, I’ve shown him before so he’s trying to lighten the somber tone we’ve been messaging each other the last week, I am smiling for the first time in a while. So I write back “My panties are so soaked. Your cum, my cum, my wet pussy… I wish you were sliding into me right now… Hard cock, wet pussy. Yep, just like that baby” he sends a heart eye emoji & says “Do you say that to all the guys” I tell him that it’s my standard response when someone asks for my snapchat & I’m laughing. He then asks me if my snapchat still has my real name as my user name & I can’t help but wonder if it wasn’t my real name, would he add me? Stupidly when I made my snapchat account I used my first & last name as the user name & you can’t change it, so I never give it out to anyone anymore once I realised. I wonder if it wasn’t my real name, would Noodle add me & just pretend I’m someone from his work. & because the messages delete, she’d never know & he could talk to me in front of her?! I never add him on snapchat so I’ll never know. But probably for the best to be honest.

Later on I am being needy again & probing him to admit he likes me without actually asking, he asks me why I keep asking him to admit his feelings for me, I tell him because I need to hear it but what I don’t tell him is that he needs to hear it. He needs to start to realise that I am more to him that just his slutty mistress giving him the best sex of our lives but I am someone he has genuine feelings for! He says that “Hmmm gotta keep my cards close to my chest” I think that it’s just insane, I’m the one that will be hurt here “I have to more than you do. I’ll get way more hurt than you will!” he says “You think I won’t get hurt?” I guess he’ll be hurt for a bit but “No. You’ve got your family. You’ve got your other life.” She’ll find out & he’ll forget me, making up lies to her about me to salvage his family – as much as I am playing over in my mind all the amazing things that could happen if he left her, realistically, he is never going to leave… What am I still doing with this guy? “You’re a part of my life now tho” OMG. That’s why! FUCK… I don’t think he knows what he’s saying but I stupidly lap it up “Awwww. I think that’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me. Ever.” I know what he’ll respond with, something about not meaning it “Errr. I mean. Whattt. Shhhh you.” I laugh at that, knowing that what he would say but then I get “I consider you a close friend & a lover. & yet it would hurt when I do lose you” FUCK… A lover?! Jesus… But did you pick up on the bit that stings?! ‘When I DO lose you’ FUCK. Meaning he is going to lose me no matter what… I’m such a fucking fool. One minute he says I’m part of his life, next he’s saying he’ll lose me! I am so confused… I mean I know he is & doesn’t think he is worthy of me, but fuck, I’ve been seeing this guy for almost a year on a weekly basis… I mean if he doesn’t understand what I feel for him now, will he ever? Will I just be constantly reassuring him for the rest of my life if we get together?

This has also been around the time that Max has been messaging me, quite a lot actually, including joining groups to chat to me when I don’t reply to him. He has started calling me Angel as I have changed my profile picture to a snapchat filter, that I know that I look cute in but Noodle hates, so I put it up just to be annoying. But Max loves it calling me Angel or Muffin in the groups, so much so other people notice that he’s being a weirdo & a bit creepy with me. A few people say things to him, including Noodle that Max changes his name to Creepy Max. Noodle is so super jealous, I know he is, but he makes jokes out it. I have also kept to myself that Max is messaging me privately. I’m certain that Noodle would know that he has been messaging me but I haven’t told him per se.

Noodle Glow diffrently

So tonight when Max is saying goodnight, Noodle says the same to me privately “Night angel muffin” & I laugh because terms of endearment do not come easily out of Noodles mouth. I say “Night baby cakes” & he replies “Night belly bacon” This is hilarious. “That’s a compliment coming from you cos you lurvvvve bacon” I know that one of Noodle’s favourite foods is bacon, I actually learn later than his favourite food is ribs. I am also careful not to say the word love here too… I say lurvvve instead… He says “Well I do. Night frosted doughnut” his other favourite food, something he does love! I tell him that I bust out laughing & he says “Your doughnut needs my frosting on it. xxx” Fuck, Noodle just used my little kisses… So I send them back, smiling like an idiot as I snuggle down to sleep!

Things are sort of back to normal, just chatting normally every day while we can, we don’t talk much about feelings or anything like that, probably for the best. I am being cheeky on Saturday when I go to see him for lunch, I have just bought some g strings that have written on the back ‘Whore’ & ‘Slut’ I decide to wear the whore ones today for him & lift my skirt so he can see. I know that he won’t take them off my wanting to fuck me from behind to see my ass printed with whore. I used to find all things degrading like name calling or wearing something like this so bad & I used to hate stuff like this. But with this guy, I love it, I love how he reacts, I love how turned on we both get, it feels amazing when he calls me “his slut” or “his whore”, I don’t know if it’s just because he’s calling me “his” or because I know that he doesn’t call anyone else those things. I am his & he can do whatever he wants with me, to me, with me. I meet him at his work for lunch & I don’t tell him where we are going but I have plans to go to the hardware store & get him to buy cable ties, something we’ve also been talking about restraining me with. I am wearing a short dress & my whore g string, which I’d sent him a picture before I left my house so he knows what is under this cute summer dress. We’re walking around the hardware store & find the cable ties when he runs his hand up my leg to my ass… Fuck just that little gesture, makes me hot for him. I tell him we need to get out of here ASAP before the sight & feel of him makes me cum in the hardware store. He pays for the cable ties, which I find sexy too (I’m not sure why watching him at the checkout paying with his apple watch is hot, but maybe it’s the fact he’s buying something naughty for us to use.)

We drive to our usual Saturday spot & we get into the back seat & I first ride him till I cum & then climb off poking my ass in his face so he can actually see the whore g string. He squeezes my ass making that noise I love & he pushes me down to fuck me really hard, pulling my hair telling me that “You are my whore, cum for me” FUCK. As if on command, I cum really hard & I can’t stop even if I tried. I hear about these women, including his partner that stop themselves, well fuck, I don’t think I ever could. Especially with this guy, there is no way I could ever stop myself. & to be really honest with you, I wouldn’t even want to stop myself. I love cumming & I love cuming with him, he loves to watch me cum, feel me cum, so why wouldn’t I want to cum for him?

Noodle tells me that his son has found the spare iPhone that he uses to fake his location, in his car middle console (Why would Noodle keep it there?! Fuck he’s an idiot sometimes. He knows she goes through his car & gym bag.) His son asked what is was for & Noodle told his son that it’s a spare play phone for him to play with when they’re driving. His son gets excited about a play phone & I worry that his son will tell his mum about this phone in Noodle’s car. I think this is really risky, but Noodle doesn’t see it the same way as I do. However it’s around this time too that Noodle stops using the phone to fake his location because he had to name them something different & he asks me by sending me a screenshot if I notice that one has a capital letter for his first name & that the other had a small letter for his first name. I tell him that I notice that one phone is white & the other is black, which is what freaks him out more & he stops using it. Is this guy really worth the risk I’m taking?!

I tell Noodle about a fantasy of fucking in a car wash, I’ve told him this before to be honest & he’s always said he wants to do it. I had told Max about this fantasy but we never did it, when I suggested it, Max just sent me an emoji of a surprised face but then told me that he’d just washed his car. Well fuck, alright!

Noodle is super keen on the idea, we’ve been talking about it for a while & so this Tuesday night when I pick him up for work, we are planning to fuck in the carwash at the service station. I’m excited for even more daring sex, I mean the fact I’m fucking a partnered guy & could get caught any moment is hot as fuck of course, but the fact that we might get caught fucking in the carwash is super exciting. I skip the gym to be at his work early & the sun is still shining being early February, I wear a summer dress for easy access. I pick Noodle up & head to the local service station with a automatic car wash, we park & I go into buy a ticket, Noodle decides he’s hungry & orders Subway for his dinner. Standing next to him at subway, I feel awkward & we barely touch, but fuck I want to just reach out & grab him, cuddle him & have him do the same back. But I am self conscious about public displays of affection, one because someone from his work might walk in & two because I am just not confident sometimes that a guy wants me to touch them. & I don’t want to be all over them if they don’t want that… I need to get over myself to be honest because clearly he wouldn’t care at this point in our relationship, surely. But I am careful being that we are close to his work. But I feel the tension building as we stand so close, dribbling on about shit from the day to each other. His Subway takes forever, like I have never spent so long waiting for a fucking sandwich, even Noodle comments on how fucking slow they are. Is it just cos we’re so eager to fuck in the carwash or are they actual being slow? Hahaha.

We get his subway & I drive around to the carwash, where we have to wait for another car, Noodle scoffs his Subway while we’re waiting, which also seems like forever. There is a car behind us now too. This doesn’t seem to faze Noodle as we’re sitting there waiting, he tells me to suck his cock. I know I am here to fuck this guy in public but I feel conscious of sucking his cock in this twilight daylight until he takes it out & looks at me with a stern look telling me to suck it. So hot & sexy that I do. I don’t make him cum before the car in front of us finishes & as I sit up in the car, I notice a camera on us. Noodle again isn’t fazed but I am now worried that I’m not going to be able to go through with this.

I drive into the car wash & fucking hell, there is a glass wall on one side looking out to the small carpark & a fucking glass wall with the service station in it. It’s the back of the counter, there is no one there but I say to Noodle as the carwash starts, that I don’t think we should do this. He asks why & when I tell him why, he says just climb on my cock. I hesitate before he commands me to get out of the drivers seat & onto him in the passenger seat. I doubt with this much worry in my head, that I’ll be able to cum. Also surely the person behind us can see that I’ve just climbed across the seats. Isn’t this what you wanted though? To fuck in a carwash? However I never thought it would be as the sun was setting & with glass walls around me. However as I slide on Noodle’s cock, all of that disappears & I am riding him hard, popping my tits out of the top of my dress for him to suck my nipples. I am riding him longer than usual before he says “Cum for me” & as if on command, I do… How does he do that to me? A husky whisper in my ear & I do as I’m told… As the car wash finishes, Noodle hasn’t cum yet so we drive to another location & fuck again, until he cums all over me. I have to say that I reckon this is the hottest thing I have ever done, fuck in a carwash! So sexy, naughty & fun!!


Max #10

Max is back! I can almost hear the groans from you!

This will be a relatively short one today, for those who settle down with their morning coffee, it’s not one of those blogs today! Sorry.

Yep, He’s been in the groups again, not very successfully I must admit. He’s being creepy with me calling me weird things & then even changes his name on the chat app to Max Creepy. He messages “Good morning Sugar.” & all I write back is morning a few hours later then get nothing till the next day at about the same time “Good Morning precious.” Every message comes with an emoji too. The kissing cheek one or a flower – always an emoji of some sort. I mean this is confusing to me, not my feelings for Noodle but the fact that surely he knows from Sweetie & from me that I am seeing Noodle & he knows that I’ve told sweetie I have feelings for him. Surely he knows all that?

Noodle is in every group with me so he sees Max join the groups. They are both awkward with each other. Noodle is a complete ass to him all the time… I mean, considering that Noodle’s cock has been inside Max’s wife, it’s probably not a good idea to piss each other off. Maybe that’s what it is? Or is a pissing contest about me or her? I don’t tell Noodle that Max is private messaging me, but every day I get something from him. I don’t engage but he keeps trying.

Eventually one day, he messages me this “This probably sounds creepy. But I keep thinking about you being restrained and blindfolded, & running my fingertips down your cheek & all over your body, then slowly up your legs… Doing that over & over until you start to wriggle & moan” I will admit, that it made me kind of hot, but only because my thoughts were of  Noodle doing these things to me. Not Max.

I don’t write back to him at all, to be honest… The next morning “Busy tonight sexy girl?”  I ignore. I hate that I am ignoring but I don’t know why he doesn’t get the hint or have a conversation with Sweetie to find out there I’m at with Noodle.

The next day “Good Morning Petal” which I ignore too.

The next day “Good Morning Beautiful” to which I also ignore…Max invest in you.pngI must accidentally click on the messages turning the D to an R & he knows I’ve read the bloody thing. He writes back again “How have you been? Is everything ok?”  I am not one to ignore, so I tell him that I’ve been good & that everything is fine. I am trying to be an nonchalant as I can but also disinterested so he backs off. He replies “Ok, ummm. In that case… are my messages unwelcome? If you prefer I leave you alone then I will.”  When I get that message, I feel bad to be honest, which is dumb after the way that he treated me only 8 or 9 months ago. I reply “Just don’t want to get involved with you again, you tell me one thing then do another… I’m happy with my situation & don’t want to jeopardise it.” He replies back “Ok, I’ll stop with the messages. I want to be friends still. Message me one day if you ever feel the same way.” Look to be honest, I was never really friends with him, he put in the effort, lots of effort, got what he wanted, got bored with it so then he changed the dynamic & pissed me off, which I think was justified on my part… Don’t just fuck me & call me your girlfriend if you really just want to be a slut like he said he does!

Max leaves the groups & I tell Noodle that he’d been messaging & I even send him a screenshot of the messages so he can see, because I know that Noodle wouldn’t believe me, I want to show him that I have nothing to hide. I have been cheeky with other people who’ve private messaged me, I will admit that, but I haven’t with Max. I want Noodle to know that. I want to prove that I am the loyal person that I thought I was & I know I deserve better than the snippet of time that I get with Max which is allowed to see me. I mean I see Noodle more than I saw Max & Max had permission to see me & a wife that really liked me, so the fact that I never saw him or that he stopped putting in effort, just left the path for Noodle to swoop in & be the guy who always writes back & sees me, no matter what it may cost him!


Noodle #35

Even though this week has been fucked for Noodle & I, he’s fought with his partner, he’s fought with me & we’ve been apart, unable to see each other. I haven’t enjoyed my weekend away with friends & family. I’ve been on my phone messaging him the whole time – I am excited to see him, even if it is only for a hug! But the thing that fucks me off the most about me having my phone in my hand all weekend, is that if he was away, I wouldn’t hear from him at all, it’s like I don’t exist. He puts down his phone & enjoys the weekend. I go away after fighting with him all week & I carry my phone around like my life depends on it, replying to him instantly! Again, foolish!

I think the only highlight this week was me buying a electric toothbrush, yeah I know what a fucking hoot! Noodle has laughed at me out too by saying that it’s about time I got up to 2018 & got an electric toothbrush. But I recall that he had a normal toothbrush when I saw a picture of his bathroom sink!

Oh yeah, this week has had the most amazing news for me too & I feel like I haven’t been able to even enjoy it or celebrate it. Late last year, I decided that I wanted to study law part time as well as work full time (I might be a fucking idiot!) However after applying for university for the first time in my life & actually applying for law school & I was accepted, in the first round! LIKE WHAT THE FUCK! But with all the shit going on with Noodle, I don’t get to tell him & I don’t even get to enjoy the fact that I had not only been accepted in to a university, but I was accepted to law school! OMG I am Elle Woods… Yet I don’t fucking tell anyone! I hate that the one person I want to tell, is having a crisis & I can’t tell him… I am a smart woman, but right now I feel like a fool & I feel so dumb. I don’t know what is wrong with me!

On the way home from the Riverland, I bring a friend home with me & for really the first time I confide in someone about the whole relationship with him. I have needed to talk to someone about it, especially this week & stuck in the car with her for a couple of hours, I can’t control myself, my words come out & I can’t stop myself. (She recently told me that when I was telling her about Noodle in the car, she was thinking what is #IBD4U doing with this guy but now that’s she reading the blog, she gets it! Thank you for telling me that!). But I am glad I talked to someone about it. I know every time I do talk to someone about it, I sound so defensive of him, I make excuses which I stupidly believe too.

I have river hair as the shack we stay at has river water in the shower, with my usually perfectly straightened hair or perfectly curled with a straightener, my hair is naturally curly today or aka a birds nest! I text noodle & ask if he wants to see me, which he jumps at the chance. Telling me his partner is at work, he’ll set his son up with his iPad & meet me in his driveway, for the hug we both need!

I pull into Noodles driveway & text him to tell him I am there, he comes out & gets in the front seat with me, we instantly hug. FUCK. I fucking feel like I might cry as the hug lingers… I never cry… As we pull apart we kiss on the lips, but hug again. Fuck I hate that we’ve had weird conversations this week, I have needed his arms around me, I want his touch, I’ve needed his touch. Not sexually, not that I would say no to sex with him but I fucking need his strong reassuring arms around me. Even though I know now, in no uncertain terms that, while he says I am worth risking his family for, I am not worth taking the risk to end it with his partner & trying to be with me. He is too scared of being alone, that I will never win in this situation with him.

We hug again, I really just need to feel him, however as we’re hugging, my hand slides between his legs & rubs him through his shorts. Next minute I have his cock out & in my mouth, sucking him till he cums in my mouth. I think this will be the end, but he slides his hands between my legs & under my bathers to finger me till I cum too… We talk a little about this week, we both apologise, I explain it’s the hormones from the morning after pill which he apologises for too & tells me that his brother’s wedding was really hard for him. We hug again before he has to go back inside. I feel better, but I also have in the back of my mind, that this is what we’ll always be… Me sneaking around for a split second of his time…Noodle fucked up.pngInterestingly tomorrow, we have the whole day off together. Literally he’s told his partner he has to work all day when it’s really his RDO & I have arranged a 3sum for Noodle… I have said I will do this if he does 2 men with me, however he is so conscious of the size of his cock, that he pretty much won’t ever do that with me, I am almost certain of it. Sweetie is going to come over about 1:00 pm & I’m going to give Noodle the fantasy he’s always wanted. To be honest, because I’d arranged this weeks ago, is the only reason I am going through with it now, after the week we’ve had & how foolish I feel. I can’t believe that I am giving Noodle his number one sexual bucket list. Am I doing it because I think it will make him leave her?

Noodle says that he’ll be at work at 6:00 am & he’ll wait till his partner is at work at 9:00 am before he comes over to my house. I think that’s a wasted 3 hours & that if I’m awake I’ll go pick him up. Of course my body clock aka wet vagina, wakes me up at 5:30 am & I head to his work to pick him up so he can leave his phone in the car & we go back to my house. I haven’t gotten out of my pjs so I crawl back into bed when we get back to my place. We have sex multiple times, Noodle insistent on making me cum multiple times – not that this is a problem… I don’t realise at the time, but he is keeping count. Remember my record?! Hahaha.

When we get up & end up in the lounge room, I’m almost trying to get away from Noodle but he keeps making me cum, I get no rest. Eventually we just lay there & he massages me, rubbing me all over like his hands can’t stop touching me. About 9:00 am his says we should go get his car & his phone so we drive back to his work & pick up his car. When we get back to my house he makes me cum multiple times again, this guy isn’t going to give up!

Does anyone eat Halo Top ice-cream? (I’m not paid to sponsor them, but I could if anyone I know works for them!! Hahaha!) It’s a low calorie ice-cream which is about $10 a tub however it’s delicious & Noodle has been telling me about it, I’ve become obsessed & trying every flavour however I bought the almond flavoured one & it is fucking disgusting! It takes like gross marzipan & I can’t stand it. I’ve been telling Noodle about it for weeks & said he can try it & take the tub. However when I give him a spoonful he acts like I have given him poison & he races to the sink spitting it out telling me how ‘rank’ it is! I literally can’t stop laughing!

We decide that we will go out for lunch & we go to the Mexican restaurant that’s close to my house that’s just opened, it’s like a take away. We eat in there too, because I don’t want to just hang around my house. This is the closest thing I will ever get to a date with Noodle. I relish in this moment, I love the time we have together that is just about sex, while I want to fuck him all the time, I really love this time with him. Actually getting to know him… I tell Noodle that I will message Sweetie when we’re ready for her, we go home & he’s brought 2 drinks with him, I guess to calm the nerves. I’m sitting on the kitchen counter having a drink with him too when exactly 1:00 pm, Sweetie knocks on the door & says hello. Noodles face is priceless & he freaks out. I laugh & just say it’s Sweetie.

This is the first time Noodle has met a friend of mine, they know each other from the chat app of course, but no one has even seen Noodle & I together… I know how submissive she is with her husband in these situations & I know I get awkward too. I am 100% certain that Noodle will be weird & not be able to be his dominant self because he’ll be thinking he looks stupid, so I know that I will have to take charge here. I offer Sweetie a drink but she says no. We stand around talking until I make a move on Noodle & he lifts my skirt when I say I have a nice ass & they both agree. I kiss Noodle then I walk into my bedroom & take off my dress, undressing Noodle as he we go, I push him on the bed & turn back to Sweetie who’s taken off her clothes too. I kiss her, because I know that Noodle will want to see that & then I get out his cock & suck it. Sweetie follows suit & sucks his cock too, I’m looking at Noodle & seeing him enjoy it so much, I am surprised I am not jealous of this at all. I ride Noodle while kissing Sweetie, then I get a condom for them to use & Noodle fucks her. I am kissing Sweetie still & asking Noodle if he likes that being that both of them are being mute! They seem to enjoy the sex they have & then we move to Sweetie going down on me & Noodle forces his cock in my mouth, I cum again several times… We’re all laying around as we’re finished when there is a knock at the door & because I have left the screen door shut but the wooden door open, a woman’s voice says “hello” I think nothing much of it, but both Sweetie & Noodle freak out, Sweetie suggesting that it’s his partner & Noodle literally going white as a ghost. Freak out over, it’s the postie dropping off a parcel. Hahaha. I go back into my bedroom & laugh at the 2 of them freaking out about someone at the door.

Sweetie goes home afterwards & Noodle & I take it down a notch by having a bath together. Again I literally love having a bath with him. We talk about the fact that this day was probably a bit ambitious being that my clit can barely take anymore.

We’re sitting there talking, it’s still early he has about another hour but I get to the bottom of the fight Noodle had with his partner. She had said to him that he doesn’t look at her the same way or touch her the same way anymore. In fact she even accused him of having a girlfriend… He never told me that till bit later, because he said that I was being shitty & emotional. Well fuck, he was being emotional too… Something was in the air. I mean he’s told me before that I change when I’m away for work & I know I do, because I am starting to resent the fact that I am away from him, he has limited time to see so imagine me only having limited time too. I fucking hate that he could’ve seen me & I was away for work! I used to love my job, I don’t want to resent it because of a man. I tell him that I am not worth risking his family, but he says “It’s a hard choice but it’s worth risking. But I am biased, you just gave me a 3sum” I don’t think I understand the logic here, but I guess at this point, she isn’t going anywhere, if she genuinely thinks he has a girlfriend & she hasn’t left him, then clearly she is going to put a fight if he does try to leave her. He jumps up & leaves & I feel like he just ruined the whole day. He’s made my cum 39 times, beating my record by 11 (He’s super proud of himself by the way! Hahaha) & we’ve bathed, had a 3sum, a date & then he’s just made me feel like an idiot… His partner notices that he’s not into her the same way as he used too… Meaning if he’s not looking at her the same way, is he looking at me the way he used to look at her? I tell him I’m not shitty but he says that I’m being kinda distant. He says that he told me that because it’s a compliment that he doesn’t look at his partner the same way, but does he not get that hurts that she’s noticing it & yet he won’t leave her? I just say I’m tired & his partner will be home soon so I don’t want to go into it when he doesn’t have the time so he should just ignore it but he says he wants to know but not to go into it now, like a typical male!


Noodle #34

So things are a little weird between Noodle & I since we said we have feelings for each other, we went out of our way to say that we aren’t in love with each other so many times, that it makes me suspicious about our feelings. Like who says that many times “I’m not in love with you.” Seems like we’re hiding something…

I talk to Noodle about what I would want out of a relationship & how I think it would have to have some sort of openness to the relationship, especially since I have already done what I’ve did with Orbit & T-bone, I realise that I am not as loyal as I thought I was. I am not sure people can be completely monogamous, so not only would a guy probably want to cheat on me eventually, but apparently I would also want to do that to him too – maybe? I hope not, but I have done this to Noodle…

“If we were in a relationship for example, it would be open in some way right.. So just think of this an open relationship. Regardless what I do outside of us two, I still come home to you” I am hoping that Noodle understands what I mean here… I also tell him about what I’ve been thinking of lately about an open relationship “I was thinking about my open rules the other day on my drive & thought how hard it is to find someone to fuck a random. So I’d let him host his random fuck at our house as long as they only had sex in the spare bed, no where else in the house & she didn’t sleep over… This is while I’m away of course. Most couples say their own home is a no go zone. But I know how hard it is to find somewhere to host so, I’d let him use the spare room… But TBH I don’t think a guy is gonna wanna fuck anyone else with me for a while.” he agrees “Haha I tell you what I’m not really interested in anyone else, you take care of a mans needs very well!” While definitely would go through with this eventually with a partner if they wanted to, it’s also a bit of a test to see if they really would want to do it. I think if you give them the option for an open relationship, it’s takes the excitement of cheating out of it… (I may have something wrong with me, hahaha) But honestly it’s part of the hotness between Noodle & I that it’s naughty & exciting, the fear of being caught. If you take that out of it, would we be as hot? Would it be as exciting or self-destructive, maybe?

I decide to be honest with Noodle about a guy in the group that’s been hitting on me a lot lately, this isn’t new, we’ve chatted so many times when his partner is ok with it. I know that if I ever fucked this guy, it’s a complete deal breaker for Noodle – he’s told me that before. He won’t ever be ok with me fucking him, so I decide to be honest that I have been chatting to him. However, with this weirdness going on this week, me being away & not able to see him, I probably shouldn’t have, Noodle snaps “So should of fucked Destiny when you told me not too” OMG, is he fucking kidding me? “Fuck you” As I go to put my phone down because that is a low blow, I get “I backed off stupidly for you. Dumbass me.” I reply “Actual fuck you Noodle” Fuck I want to punch him in the face right now. “Clearly I can’t be honest with you like I thought I could… If you’re gonna say shit like that to me, best we just leave it here for a bit. I’ve got a meeting at 10 anyway. Talk to you later” I close down the app & I am seething! I have never been so angry in all my life! I know Noodle is a douche & says ridiculous things to me all the time to make me angry, but I have never not wanted to talk to him before. I can’t even be bothered trying to boost his ego right now. He can fuck off! WHAT A WANKER! My phone beeps likes crazy for several messages he sends to me, but I ignore them all. I focus on work & just try not to think about. But of course, I never stop thinking about it…

After work, I know he’s offline so I finally read his massages as I want to think about my reply to him before I say something I regret. He writes “Argh. I get jealous sometimes & I’m a dick. Sorry… It obviously hurt me you said yes & would of despite how I would but it’s ok. I can accept that. I’ll be nice from now on… You can be honest with me.” Is he serious? It’s almost like he only reads what he wants to read sometimes. I would’ve met this guy before Noodle & I were serious, but I didn’t. “I said I would’ve way back when but you said it’d absolutely piss you off so I never entertained the thought in my own mind after that…! I’d rather keep fucking you than have a one night stand with him…! I haven’t fucked anyone else in months because I only want you! So fuck you for saying that about Destiny.” If this is how he reacts to me chatting to the guy, imagine what he’d do if I actually met him? He writes back quicker than I expect him too being that he should be offline. “Haha you know it would fuck me off that it was in your mind in the first place. Even when I told you. It’s all good…” OMG if he says part of the deal, I am going to snap! “Just because I think it, doesn’t mean I’m going to go through with it…! I’m certain you still think about fucking other people while fucking 2 women already. It’s human nature… I don’t think we’re built to be monogamous! It’s just if we act on it. & I haven’t since I saw how upset you got with the Shark & Leblek debacle” He can’t deny that he’s never thought about fucking other people, I mean he wants a fucking 3sum with me, so of course we all think about fucking other people… “Hahaha, didn’t get upset over that. Just slightly jealous. & annoyed I had gone near you after you had gone near her STD riddled body. Always said you could fuck whoever you want… Just not Holden.” OMG. He did get upset over it & he never believed me that I never fucked them & I have had an STI check which came back clear – as I always do… & he knows this too… I told him I had a check. “& I haven’t!” I never went near Holden. “& You were fucking a few people while you know I had Destiny lined up & I backed away. Just for you! Think I’m pissed cos you would of regardless how I felt about it. I’m sorry. Having a dumb moment. Your way to good to be fucking me.” Yeah well he has that right – I am too good to be fucking him, now I wish I was in front of him to punch him in the face & I’m not a violent person! “I can’t change what I did. I have a history, a past. I’m only human, I don’t make the best decisions all the time. I never wanted to get attached to you, I usually fuck more than one person so I don’t catch feelings… But look how that turned out… Here I am in a fucking stupid situation, not fucking anyone else while you fuck someone else all the time..!” Fuck you Noodle, he can’t deny this! “Haha it’s not very often I can assure you. Sorry for being a douche” I think that gets him to see my side of this finally “Doesn’t matter… You still do…! But I thought about fucking someone else ages ago & you say really hurtful things to me! Although I guess that’s not the worst thing you’ve ever said to me, but that was below the belt!” I hope he realises how ridiculous he is sometimes “I don’t mean to say hurtful things” He may not mean too, but he does. “I know… & I don’t mean to say things that make you jealous… I don’t want to make you jealous. Thought that was quite clear being I’m not seeing anyone else.” His reply infuriates me even more “You should see other people.” Fuck off, I’m going to sleep!

It’s like we admit we have feelings, not of love, of course but then he has to be an asshole to me to prove it’s not love? Or what is it? I know it’s been a hard weekend for him with his brothers wedding, he’s told me that no one in his family likes who his brother is marrying & he said that the wedding was awkward & all about her family. Noodle & I are still a bit weird with each other too, I am realising that he is never going to leave his partner, just after some comments & some things they’re doing. But I need him to know “Just cos I’ll never ask you to leave your partner for me, doesn’t mean I haven’t thought about what it be like if you were single.” I almost don’t want him to reply, just ignore what I just said “Well that’s the hard part for me, I’ve considered leaving her for you. & doesn’t help when you tell me how amazing you’ll be.” Doesn’t he already know what I’d be like? He’s almost known me a year, I haven’t changed. I ask him if he prefers me being a bitch but he says no that he likes me being nice to him when I reply “I’m actually probably be a cunt to you… Telling you this shit though. I don’t want you to leave & you regret it. It’s why I’ll never ask. But don’t think I haven’t thought about it. Or want to explore it…” While I’ll never actually come out & ask him to leave, I hope that this is enough for him to know that I am interested enough that if he does leave, I want him. “You are in some very very dangerous territory with a married guy miss #IBD4U.” I tell him that I am very aware of this, but I figure that I need him to know that even though I’ll never ask, it’s what I want, I want him to leave her… He tells me “Your meant to just use me for sex” with an emoji tongue sticking out, I reply “You’re meant to just use me for sex… Look how well that turned out” Noodle tries to change the subject “Used you just for sex yesterday. Snuck in, fucked the shit out of you & left” but what he forgets is, what he does at the end “You still gave me a passionate kiss goodbye… That’s not being used…!” I got him there “Ahhh Dammit! Shhh You!” Hahaha, told ya! “Yeah it’s not one sided here!” Even though he won’t admit it. “You passionately kissed me back” yeah I did. “Never said I didn’t…!” I then ask him if he’d rather I didn’t tell him this stuff, I don’t want to confuse him but he says “No tell me whatever you want. I don’t mind it” I know that it confuses him but I also know how his mind works & that he needs this type of reminder from me, about how in this I am! “I just don’t want to confuse you… You have to make a decision for you. If you leave her, you have to leave her regardless of what may or may not happen with me…” I mean if we’re not sneaking around, would we be this hot? “There’s a chance nothing will happen with you, who knows. You could hate being around me more than 4 hours haha. Can’t count on that can I?” I can’t believe how scared of being alone he is, which is why I know he’ll never take the risk on me. FUCK! Mother fucker… I am so stupid! “Yeah exactly. I mean I doubt it though, since I get grumpy when you don’t fuck me or when you don’t talk to me” Shit… I am just a fucking mistress… I will never be more… His feelings for me are just because he doesn’t want to be alone… “Hahah, Awww do you? Someone really likes me” I tell him to shut up.052816 (1).pngWe are both still in this weird mood. I have extra hormones running through my body which have in the past made me nuts, remember the Origin debacle…. I know I am acting crazy & I can’t help it. I am hating having these conversations as they are making me feel shit about our future, a future I have built up in my head, a future of us together… But he has dashed all those hopes in a single sentence… ‘Can’t count on that, can I?’ FUCK! I am gutted… Seriously gutted! I feel like such a fool… I think feeling foolish is the worst feeling in the world… I am so dumb.

He finally tells me why he’s in a weird mood, he’s had a massive fight with his partner & instead of calling her his wife to me, which he ALWAYS does (even though I hate it as they’re not actually married), he has been calling her his partner. He doesn’t really tell me what it was about but it makes me think this is going to be over & he’ll be with me. He even slept on the couch. This is a side I’ve never seen of him before, he says that he actually wants to see me & wishes I was in Adelaide, when I tell him that I‘d come & give him a hug if I could. His response surprises me, since neither of us are hugging type people “Yeah I need one” WHAT? Does he really? I feel like my heart breaks a little… He tries to lighten the mood by saying that he thinks I want a hug for myself too “Well I will say, the hug is not completely for selfless reasons!” I tell him I’ll be back in Adelaide on Sunday & I could come see him, but he says he’ll be at home, I say that sucks but he says that his wife will be at work, so could sneak one in the driveway. Noodle is calling her his wife again, which kills me a little… Clearly they sorted out their shit… I am gutted all over again! A small glimmer of hope, for just a spilt second!


Follow me on Facebook:

Follow me on Instagram:

50 Reasons Why We Love Guys…

So I had this for ages… I just found it recently & thought how relevant it is. Plus I think we all need a break from Noodle! -It’s fucking intense right now, we all need a breather! Hahaha…

I admit that I didn’t write this, it’s been around for years, you probably read it when we used to send a million bullshit email jokes to everyone in our contacts but I also don’t know where it came from, so I can’t refer you to the site… However, it’s worth a read, because OMG it’s so true!

50 reasons why we love guys…

(Kinda depressing for single girls!)50 reasons why we love guys.png

  1. The way they look when they step out of the shower dripping wet, with a towel wrapped low on their hips!
  2. How they proudly make you spaghetti for dinner and act as if it’s a gourmet meal!
  3. Their deep, husky voices in the morning!
  4. Uncensored talk about how great you are in bed – during movies, sporting events, funerals… in fact anywhere!
  5. Shower Mohawks!
  6. Little boy bed-hair!
  7. The moment when you stroke them under the table at a restaurant and they instantly lose 75 per cent of their basic brain-functioning ability!
  8. How they lick their fingers with abandon (just like you want to) while eating spare ribs, cake and all things sticky!
  9. How they lick you with abandon too!
  10. That rush you get when you open your eyes and share one of those in-love gazes while the two of you are kissing!
  11. Their knack for being harsh, loud-mouthed jock-heads with the boy’s one minute, then turning into shy, sweet ‘butter wouldn’t melt in my mouth’ S-N-A-G’s when they come over to ask you out on a date!
  12. The way they look like a frog in a blender while they dance!
  13. The sloppy cursive chicken scratch or super-neat handwriting that somehow always looks like a guy’s!
  14. Even better when it’s passionately scrawled throughout a three-paged love letter!
  15. Boxer briefs!
  16. That rush when they sneak up behind you and throw their arms around you in a ‘Me Tarzan, you Jane’ clutch!
  17. Brad Pitt, Heath Ledger, Jude Law!
  18. Their endless fascination with your breasts!
  19. How they offer you their coat when it’s freezing – even though they’re in a tee shirt and you’re wearing a jumper!
  20. How they help solve your petty fights with girlfriends and rarely over analyze!
  21. How they can’t believe how soft your hair is when they play with it!
  22. When they ‘accidentally’ leave the button of their Levi’s open!
  23. Even better if they are button fly!
  24. How before sex, they take their watch off and put it on the bedside table so it doesn’t scratch you!
  25. That dent they get in their forehead when they’re thinking really hard!
  26. Six-packs!
  27. How they swap plates with you at a restaurant if you don’t like your meal!
  28. The incredible feeling of being kissed on the back of your neck!
  29. The way they turn into boy scouts if your mother calls… even if the two of you have just been up to no good!
  30. That cute yet frustrated look they get when they’re trying to work out how to undo your bra!
  31. The way they willingly (but not always so ably) step up to the challenge of fixing your hairdryer, bookshelf, stereo, kitchen sink…
  32. The simple way they try to cheer you up by looking into your eyes and pulling a stupid face until you start laughing!
  33. The times they spontaneously go out and buy you something when you know they detest shopping!
  34. The way they take their tee shirts off differently to us – by pulling them by the back of the neck over their heads – without even trying to be sexy… But it is!
  35. How they can crash and burn on their motorbikes but completely freak over a simple blood test!
  36. The funny, misspelt, all-lower-case emails they send you at work – which keep you smiling all day!
  37. Those thigh tingling times when they use their teeth to take off your underwear, little by little!
  38. How when they sit you on their lap and you worriedly ask if you’re too heavy, they always say “No, you’re fine. Stay!”
  39. How they act when watching football – as if their life depends on the outcome!
  40. The cool, smooth, feeling of their fresh, clean-shaven faces!
  41. Perfect two-day stubble works too!
  42. How when you tell them they shouldn’t kiss you in the morning because of your morning breath, they ignore you and kiss you anyway!
  43. How cute their faces look when they’re covered in shaving cream!
  44. How they think it’s sooooo cool when you accidentally burp out loud!
  45. That mesmerized “Ohh, baby” open-mouthed expression when you take off your clothes!
  46. The way they put their hand lightly on the small of your back as they guide you through a crowd at a party!
  47. The way they say your name out loud during sex, like it’s the only word left in the English language!
  48. The fact that they take an average of 4 minutes and 30 seconds to get dressed, even on formal occasions!
  49. Their secret appreciation of how you’re not afraid to ask for directions when you’re running late for a function in an unfamiliar area – and are hopelessly lost!
  50. The silly irrational way they get possessively jealous when a sales assistant, bartender or waiter flirts with you!


16, 34, 46 are my favourites! What one are your favs?


Noodle #33

Noodle finally believes me that I had keys cut for him but he continues “I put myself down & refuse to think I’m good enough to deserve all this, especially since I’m not the first guy, I don’t think I’m as good looking as I act & I have no confidence with my body or cock.” This I already know, I mean I constantly have to reassure him about his cock, but it surprises me that he doesn’t think he’s as good looking as he acts because, my god, this guy can be arrogant sometimes! “Well regardless if you deserve it or not, you’ve got it. I do think you deserve it though. Or I wouldn’t do it with you.” I’ve told him before that I don’t just do kinky stuff with just anyone, guys have to earn that from me “Haha Yeah I know you withhold all the goodies from guys unless they deserve it. I know you don’t let anal happen straight away for example. Even tho you do enjoy a good ass fucking from time to time. So if I a guy asked to fuck you in the ass, cum on your tits first fuck, what would you say?” He knows the answer to this already, he doesn’t need to ask me. “I’d say no way douche.” There is no way I’ll allow a guy I don’t know or trust do anything kinky, I mean I am still a good fuck, first time, but they need to earn the tit or ass fucking. “Haha, Mind you, you were asking me to fuck you in the ass by like the 4th time… & to cum anywhere I want by like the 2nd or 3rd time hehe” Yeah I did that… He knows why, “I wasn’t sure how long we’d have, never thought we’d be fucking almost a year so wanted to give you the things you hadn’t had or don’t get to do with your partner” I never thought we’d get through a few weeks being that he’s tracked so closely. “You give me so much more, fuck sex with you is good. I know I can do whatever I want to you. & You’ll love it & let me do it. Your body is mine” Fuck… Oh My Fucking God… He’s right… It is… My body is his!052816.pngA few days after Noodle’s birthday, we don’t see each other Tuesday night being he is on holidays, however I have Thursday off so we arrange to meet at my house after he drops his son at child care. Noodle has asked me before to wear this white dress that I had for my nieces christening, it’s sort of a white lace overlay dress that is really short & shows off my hour glass shape & when I had the picture as my profile picture, every single guy messaged me to ask me to fuck them in it, including Noodle! Hahaha. I decide that I will wear this dress for him today. I am up early, trying to work out if I will wear white sexy lingerie I just bought under it or nothing. I spend ages getting into the lingerie, then put on the dress. But I wonder if it’s too much, as in too many things all at once, that I take off the lingerie & decide to meet him bra & pantie less. Ironically I almost didn’t buy this dress because I didn’t really like it on the rack but the lady made me try it on then it was perfect. I’ve asked Noodle why he likes it so much & he tells me it’s sexy because it’s white & hugs my hour glass figure. He doesn’t know that I am going to be wearing this dress when he rocks up today either, I get some high heels & place them by the door as I race around to get ready. When he walks in the door without knocking, I am standing there in the lounge room & that look, fuck I love that look when he sees me! I feel like that is part of the reason I am still in this mess, that look is fucking amazing. It makes me feel so fucking good that I can’t ever stop fucking this guy! I must admit, I do look hot AF, I have done my hair & make up, wearing fancy jewellery, I feel good & the reaction is exactly what I wanted & pictured. He kisses me instantly, running his hand quickly up my leg to my bare ass which he squeezes & moans!

Noodle leans me back on the couch & edges me, like he’s never done before. I mean he’s edged me of course, but today he somehow gets me right to that point of no return then stops. He’s also videoing a lot & I am swearing at him calling him a prick. He chuckles, which he knows I hate but also find super sexy. He then ties my hands behind my back & continues. I beg him like a maniac to make me cum, I tell him that I want to cum for him, that I can cum multiple times & he says that he will let me cum, but he wants me to cum hard. FUCK. He makes me suck his cock while he videos & he also rubs my clit again getting me to the edge before he stops. I cry out “FUCK YOU” & again he chuckles to which I tell him that he is not funny. But he says that the thinks he is. Asshole! I am begging even more, which I know turns him on, fuck everything I say if it’s an insult or a complaint or when I am being sweet trying to get him to make me cum, turns him on. There is nothing I can say that will get him to make me cum. When he finally does, he’s fucking me hard, with my hands tied behind my back. I am cumming so loudly & hard that I can’t even stop it if I tried. He makes this noise, as if he can feel me cumming on his cock while it’s inside me.

Next Noodle gets me to sit up, still my hands tied behind my back & he has his cock in one hand & the phone in the other. He tells me to open my mouth & I know what he is about to do. He wants to cum in my mouth & video it. We’ve talked about this before. I am excited for this, I want to see this from his perspective too, so I am looking forward to watching it. He videos while jerking himself & then he cums hard in my mouth. I swallow like the good girl I know he wants me to be & lick my lips as he finishes. Leaning forward to take his cock fully in my mouth once he’s done, I know he’s really sensitive so he tries to pull away so I suck really hard as he pulls his cock out of my mouth, to which he makes the noise I love.

We fuck a couple of times that morning, eventually getting naked, which is fucking hot a always but later when I send him the videos he says “So glad I videoed that” With 6 heart eye emojis. “Fuck you’re awesome #IBD4U. Thanks for being a dirty little slutty mistress to me. That shit is so fucking hot!” I tell him that I just watched it at work with headphones on & now I’m turned on. He says “You are a good little slut” & I send back my signature “xxx” & to my surprise I get the same back with 3 kissing cheek emojis. I am shocked by this reply & says “I think you mean it this time?!” & He says “I do” with another kissing cheek emoji! FUCK…

As you all know I struggle with self-esteem & while I used to be really big, over 100kgs, I have had a steady weight for a while, hovering around a size 10 to 12 from a size 18- 20, so I have worked hard & finally feel good about myself, but it’s still quite high weight (number) in my eyes, however because I work out I do have a lot of muscle – which everyone tells me weighs more than fat. I mean I still have a lot of fat but I’m toned. One night feeling shit about myself telling Noodle about my recent weigh in he says “You have a sexy toned ass, sexy ass hour glass body & great set of tits for your age. You are incredibly beautiful woman despite slightly heavy on the scales. Your mid 30s too, your weight is probably average. I couldn’t fuck a fat obese chick” WHAT. “For my age… Could’ve left that out!” He laughs but I know that he’s trying to be nice to me but he struggles with giving compliments, just as much as I struggle accepting them. But he just call me beautiful?!

I go away to Port Lincoln, it sucks big time because I know that Noodle is off work this week, but there is nothing I can do I have to go which means I can’t see him. I have while I’ve been away been taking the sugar pills of my contraceptives to get my period while away since I always skip it. I figure that I should have it one in a while & I’m not seeing him for a week so it’s perfect timing. But when it doesn’t come, I start taking the pill again to stop it from coming. I know Noodle is queasy about blood. I am driving the whole way home on Friday morning. I suggest to Noodle that I get up really early, like 5:00 am & drive home so that I am home to see him in the afternoon. He tells me that he’ll go get his haircut & meet me at my house.

I get up really early, putting on some sexy lingerie & take a photo telling him I’m on my way home. A few hours into the drive, Noodle finally wakes up & messages me good morning. He tells me that he’s going to do a few things then will go straight to my house. He’ll be there when I get home, I love this idea. I mean he’s going to be there, I can walk in & say “Honey I’m home” & kiss him hello. After driving 7.5 hours almost without stopping, except for a toilet break, I am home. I walk into him freaking out about crumbs on the table & trying to clean it up. We fuck a few times, which is always hot, ending up on the couch. At one point, Noodle pushes me up against the wall face first & with one of his legs between my legs he plays with my nipples until I cum… I know it’s something he’s wanted to try but we haven’t had the time, it takes a while usually, however with Noodle, I cum almost on his command! Because this weekend is his brothers wedding, he tells me that his partner won’t see him naked & I because I’ve wanted to spank his ass, he lets me. I like switching sometimes & being the dominant one. He says it doesn’t hurt that much but it doesn’t turn him on like it does me. I take a picture of his ass which is red with prints from the paddle I use. He says he kind of likes that, but later he tells me that his ass didn’t bruise like mine, well no one bruises like me! Hahaha.

I don’t see Noodle for another week. I am again away for work & then staying in the Riverland at a friend’s shack for January long weekend. I have actually been a bit worried about the fact we don’t use condoms & the fact that I messed with my pill last week, that when I get there I go to a pharmacy for the morning after pill. I tell Noodle this is what I’m doing & he asks me why & says that he wouldn’t have cum inside me if he knew, but I explain it’s just a precaution. It’s probably ok, but I am not taking any chances. However I am scared about how mental it makes me, so I warn him!

I am also excited to be taking my kayaks up to the river to go in the water & it kind of spikes something in me & I tell Noodle that I would love to go kayaking with him, but he says that he’d be really uncoordinated. I reckon he’d be feeling pretty stupid but I think he’d do a good job, he’s worried that he’d fall out, but no one has fallen out with me yet & I have life jackets. I just never know how Noodle would explain going kayaking to his partner. “I meant what I said today, you know about the kayaking & stuff… I do always want to invite you just don’t know how you’d explain it… Or to the group drinks… I so want you there” He takes a little while to respond “You did?” I’m confused “Did what?” when he replies mean it, that I want to take him kayaking, I tell him yes I truly did mean it. “Hmm, maybe I believe you” FINALLY! “I probably like you more than I should for the other woman. But you’ve become a really good friend & I like to hang out with my friends… I don’t get to do that with you” It actually makes me sad that I don’t get to do this stuff with him. “Oh thank god I’m not the only idiot that thinks you’re a good friend” That makes me smile like an idiot! I say I’m a loser & he says sucker, then we say goodnight. I am glad to have some clarity from him about his feelings for me.

But this week away is weird, he starts telling me “Your awesome #IBD4U , don’t forget it. Don’t let me hold you back either. As long as you do what you want” I tell him that I do do what I want, but he is in a mood… but I still tell him that “I want to fuck you more but I also want more than being the other woman” Fuck, why did I hit send on that, I’m away for work, he’s being a little weird because of his brother’s wedding this weekend & I can’t see him. “Wait, are you getting feelings for me?” Ironically Sweetie had just asked me the same question & while I believe the response I gave her, I also know it wasn’t entirely true. He asks me what I told her “I said that I’m not in love with you but I guess I could be if things were different. I mean I’ll definitely miss you if we stop talking or seeing each other that’s also cos I do value your friendship.” He replies “I wouldn’t say I’m in love with you either but I do have feelings for you & yeh do miss talking to you” Are we really just lying to each other? Because we keep saying the same thing over & over “Same… How can we not have some sort of feelings…? We have such chemistry. But is it love? I don’t think so… Could it be if things were different, yeah probably” then he says “Love is a strong word.” I agree & say that I don’t want to stop seeing him or talking to him. “Yeah I’m the same. & I do care about you & think of you often. & get super shitty when I’m not able to talk to you as much as I was hoping” Fuck, he’s told me this before, but it’s hard for me to believe that he gets angry when he can’t talk to me. “You are so worth it & deserve a partner that loves you. You have no idea how fucking amazing you are tho. & a fucking sexy little bitch sometimes too. Don’t forget that.”  I tell him that my biggest fear is never being loved, he knows this, I’ve shared this with him before, I am petrified that I will die without having been in love. Honestly even writing that makes my eyes water, I fucking hate that I might actually die one day & never having felt the feeling of loving someone & being loved in return. He tells me that I would make a good wife “What the fuck did I do to you? You promised me you’d never get feelings! Loser” I laugh & know that I did say that to him “Well I didn’t think I’d still be seeing you a year later… & you said you’d never get feelings for me either!”