August 2025 – Damage Control
Easter weekend means a post everyday!
03 August 2025 – Phoenix’s response to me being angry is to play the game who can be the most angry. Which is just fucked. When we talk about the ‘stand off’ later I explain that we are basically fighting for weeks about the same thing because we now text for like one hour a day max – in the scheme of things. As it’s not in person, I don’t get to say something shit then storm off & come back 20 minutes later to finish the discussion. Because if I ‘storm off’ while texting him, he’ll go offline & won’t come back for 23 hours acting like nothing has happened.
I don’t want to go see him today but I also do… I know he is working both days this weekend. I got up early & go to the shops thinking that he’ll ask me to come before my lash clients yesterday but he didn’t speak to me much – even after saying how much he missed me & then was home without saying a word. I am fucking pissed. I don’t see how he can just be ok with logging off & not chatting to me? Someone who says they love me & think about all the time – well come to think of it, he hasn’t said anything sweet & comforting to me in months – let alone anything about love.
I barely get conversation from him knowing he is working from 12:00pm today, I had my niece sleep over so I decide to drop her home around the time I think he will have a break & I think that I’ll just sit at my sisters until he messages. But she is out so I drop my niece off to her at the shops. Still nothing from Phoenix. I go through the car wash. Still nothing from Phoenix. I’ve had a good morning message & a snap when he got to work. For someone that said they are going to try to communicate better this is just disappointing. I am fucking annoyed & do not want to hang around another suburb waiting. I say “I’m at the suburb, so you know what time your break is, Mr I-need-to-communicate-better?” He says he’ll be at lunch around 3:00pm. I ask if he wants to see me or if I should just go home? I get nothing, ten mins go by, twenty minutes go by, nothing. I know he is at work & not always able to message right away but this is fucked. I write that I am just going home, because he clearly doesn’t give a fuck & I say have a good night.
I drive home, which is another twenty minutes. I am annoyed at myself because this is just going to make it worse & there is no other time to see him with my new job. If we don’t see each other, I know he won’t call me to try to make amends, then I have sent a pretty loud message… I get home & see my nieces pillow sitting in my lounge room. If I drop it off then I’ll be close to Phoenix’s work by 3:00pm to see him, if he messages. So I decide to delete the message saying goodbye & that he doesn’t want to see me, drop off the pillow & it’s 3:10pm with no message from him STILL!!! Over an hour & nothing.
I figure I just really need to go home, but no bitchy comment, just go home & say I went home, if & when I ever hear from him again. But as I get to the point from my sisters to where I turn left & head home or turn right & head to his work, he messages. I look & it says that he’ll be half an hour – so 3:30pm! Fuck sake, over an hour since I message to say I was at the suburb over. My sister was going to come get my niece, but I didn’t want to miss seeing him, even though he could have seen me yesterday or called but claims he doesn’t know what I do with clients – um ever since we’ve started this lunchtime catch up thing, I have started clients at 11:00am. So I call bullshit on that reason!
Anyway I head to his work, messaging asking if he even wants to see me, I get no reply. I am less than ten minutes away so I drive to the beach & sit there for five minutes deciding if I should even be here. I am trying to be rational, I know he is at work, he tells me all the time he is ‘so busy’ & can’t message me all the time. I don’t think I am asking too much with the precedence he set early on in this affair v2.0.
I drive back to this work & send a snap that against my better judgement, I am there. Still waiting for a reply, that never comes. But he comes & gets in my car, kisses me hello… & I am drawn back in. However, I do get out some of the things pissing me off & he laughs when he says ‘all I know is, I’ve missed you.’ I ask why he laughed, I don’t say that I feel like he is not being genuine but he says it’s because he’s being vulnerable & he doesn’t do vulnerable well. I feel like we will never change, he will communicate poorly, I will get pissed off & I will have to be the one that fixes it.
I don’t even know he thinks about me like he says he does except, I have a birthday looming, it’s on a Friday so he is barely going to chat to me & it will piss me off. But he’s booked the Saturday off work & faked a shift to be with me. I don’t know why though he needs to fake it for 6:00am. He often starts at 7:00am. I just know that if he comes over at 6:00am, he’ll want to leave by 10:00am being his kids are home alone. Plus he gets here at 6:00am, I am going to still be sleepy & then we aren’t going to get up & do anything… He says he wants to go on a picnic, but when the fuck is he going to plan that?! To get picnic stuff before he gets here at 6:00am or will he expect that to be part of the date? He says that he can organise it when I ask if I need to do anything, but I say what is he going to do, hide cheese & crackers in his fridge?! Maybe he’ll organise the Amazing Co picnic that I suggested ages ago & really want to do with him? Whatever, not my problem. I have a boyfriend, who is not a planner, I guess I just have to be happy that he has at least planned to take the day off…
Hours later he hasn’t looked at my messages but I had told him that I had deleted messages & so later he says ,”Oh you did delete some chats you angry lady!” & after I say ‘yes I did‘, he then says goodnight… Great chats Phoenix, great chats!
04 August 2025 – I say good morning first, even though I know he is 100% up – don’t give me bullshit about sleeping in, but I just try to keep the mood light, the end of this week is my birthday & don’t want to be fighting when I see him Saturday. I mention that all our snaps are now of food & he says that it’s because we’ve always talked about food, dieting & weight loss, but then he says, “We need to do some dirty snaps. Ir. I miss you trying to get my attention to fuck you 😜” Is this the problem?! We’ve not been talking about sex much? We only had sex twice in July & three sexless dates that were all lunch breaks… I did tell him when he first read my blog that I used sex to get boys to like me, it worked with him & now we have sexless dates he isn’t as interested… Could that be it?!
We talk on the phone today, for hours… So unusual for us lately, & I talk dirty to him on the phone & via text afterwards… If I want to make this week good & him still see me for my birthday, I have to push all my feelings aside… He asks if I want a date or sex for my birthday & I say that I want both. I ask if he has planned something & he says that he hasn’t but was thinking a picnic with me. He’s said on his whiteboard that he’s working 6:00am – 2:00pm, I say that I don’t get why he says so early, because he starts at 7:00am all the time. So either that’s fucking bullshit & he says that he starts at 7:00am so he can use that as an excuse why he didn’t chat to me till later in the day or he just didn’t think & said 6:00am as that’s his usual. I just say whatever, that he has a key to my house so come at 6:00am, come at 7:00am – whatever, he’ll need to leave between 10:00am to 12:00pm anyway so doesn’t matter what time he comes over… He then says that he should go, I say, “Oh forgot, pumpkin time… Unless your FB page calls… Night.”
05 August 2025 – I ask this morning about his thought process, not to have a go at him, but to understand his point of view better “Can I ask you a question about how your brain thinks about me…? So yesterday we spoke on the phone for like 2 hours, I guess on & off… Then last night, your only night to chat to me freely, you were sporadic… I’m not having a go at you. I just want to understand cos I figured it was cos you just think – well I spoke to her for hours so don’t need to chat or if you even notice that you didn’t chat much or if you thought you did chat a lot…” I get a signature Phoenix rant back ”Number one anything I needed to say to you I said to you that day so not much to chat about via text … There is only so much I can talk to you about in one day. Number 2 I was slightly distracted, I got a copyright warning yesterday for a fucking meme, an Aussie related one so I was going down a rabbit hole trying to figure it out. I ve never had a copyright warning ever. Especially for a meme or image. Number 3, Im busier than you think at night between 5pm and 9pm. I cook dinner for kids , do all my washing up and packing of the dishwasher, prep their lunches for the following day, prep their school uniform , feed all the animals , prep my uniform if I have work, and shower my daughter which is quite a bit of effort because she has bad skin conditions like eczema. So I need to monitor her temp of her water, monitor what she is washing with , then dry her off personally , then use a fucking hair dryer to dry her skin. Then apply steroid creams if she needs it. Then apply moisturiser. Also dry and brush her hair. She is a fuck ton more effort than my son. My son by the age of 7 just jumped in the shower, needed no monitoring or help , didn’t need to do hair because he is a boy lol, and didn’t have any skin conditions. The meme I got a warning from had oz aerobic images in it ….the admin at another page reported me. They did not own the image , I got their personal name and e-mail due to the copyright and contested it with Facbeook and emailed them directly if they owned the images , and that the company that owns the images still exists , even pulled up their abn, there linked in profiles, etc. And checked Aussie copyright law for memes, the images within a meme belong to the original copyright owner. You can’t claim copyright on a image you dont own just because you slap some text on it. They have emailed me back saying they are retracting the copyright claim. My personal account got a warning and a message saying they will basically reduce the algorithm of my page. Which pissed me off even more as they are literally copying posts but remaking them. But with 700k followers do alot better So no weird thing how my brain works. With ADHD im also doing 3 things at once physically and 10 things once in my head if that makes any sense to your ADHD brain. Which also keeps me pretty busy There was no thoughts of… well Ive done my #IBD4U time for today she doesn’t need anymore nor does my brain work like that when it comes to you. We also have a better verbal relationship than we do text now. Husbands and wifes don’t chat all day via text. They call or speak in person The other page has been inactive since my page was montiized. I am 100% certain they got monitized this week and are suddenly active. Including copying my posts. But recreating them”
So this helps a little because now I know he is just not ignoring me, he says that he doesn’t want to share his boring stuff but I think that will help & he always did before! First he just wrote an essay – didn’t he say at the beginning of that rant, that he’d said all he needed to say on the phone?! & if he keeps blaming his ADHD & doing three things at once, wouldn’t dealing with is Facebook shit & chatting to me be two of those things?! Also why is this the very first time I have heard about him having to adjust the temperature of the shower & blow dry his daughter’s skin?! She’s seven! Surely he would have mentioned this before now? Especially since a few months ago he would talk to me at night – all night, without this being an issue, but now he can’t because he’s got so many things to do… Not saying he doesn’t, but he pulled me in & now has pulled back & he refuses to admit it.
When we talk at our lunchtime phone call, we talk about this further. Husbands & wives don’t call but they get to chat face to face because they have that luxury. Phoenix & I don’t. We can only chat on the phone when he is alone. We can only text when he deems me important enough, but we also have to factor in that we do have to have lives. But because we get such limited time, we have to make it work in different ways than a conventional relationship. We embarked on the most unconventional relationship, so we need to do things that may not be conventional. He compares us a lot on his relationship with his wife, I get that, assuming they don’t text a lot of mundane shit like we do, they don’t talk for hours on end on the phone, so he thinks that’s life. It’s their life. It’s the life of a live in relationship for many. Sleep, work, watch TV. That’s not our relationship, right now. But we’re also not seeing each other all the time, sleeping in the same bed. We get the fun parts (except when I am annoyed) but we seem to have sorted it out. Will anything change? I don’t know… Only time will tell.
He says, “I dont like to bore you with my boring stuff “ Oh right, “So you’d rather me think you’re just sitting there not wanting to chat to me?! 🤔” But he says no. I try to say goodbye but he says he can still chat, so I say that he usually goes early on a Wednesday, he says that it’s Tuesday & that he should go… Fuck, “I’m so glad you stuck around for those 3 messages…! I take back my kisses since I got none, So fuck you.”
#IBD4U
I've Been Dating For You 
