Noodle #23

I wake up fuming still – from what little sleep I did have, what a douche. If Noodle doesn’t say hello to me, then no fucking way am I messaging him! This will be over… That’s fine by me! Fuck, do I even actually mean that? I know he’s at work, he knows I am awake & nothing. I don’t look at his good night message either, making a stand on that too! What a douche, I am not messaging… But as I’m getting ready I see his name pop up on my phone & I melt like an idiot! “Morning.” FUCK!

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He makes up for his douchyness from last night when we talk, I can’t stay angry, which fucks me off… He never says sorry, if he did I wouldn’t believe that he is actually sorry anyway, I believe though when he tells me “You are probably the sexier person I have ever fucked – not sure how you become that” I think he means the sexiest hahaha. But I let that slide being he’s being nice & making up for being an idiot last night. I get to the bottom of his jealousy & why he was being a fuckwit. I had changed my profile picture & apparently according to him, I was getting way more attention that I have before – which is also why he posts pictures of himself, when I get too much attention. I don’t agree, but he says “No way. I notice this shit. I may from time to time get a tiny bit jealous & you are getting way more attention” I literally can’t believe that this guy is this jealous about idiots online giving me attention. But do you know what… It actually makes me feel good! For me, jealousy with a partner is a feeling you get when you are scared of losing them… He has no reason to be jealous, I am fucking in this too deep, I am not going anywhere & I am not fucking anyone else, I haven’t fucked anyone else in months! I’m barely even talking to anyone else!

Noodle also gets another nickname on the chat app – I don’t think I told you about, which I know he likes, his new nickname is Pickle, however, I still call him Noodle or Noo Noo & he says he hates all the nicknames. He spends all his time trying to get people to call him God. Which I just roll my eyes at, but also smile at his stupid need to have people like him. I know he doesn’t hate these names at all. He tells me though that his new cat (that he didn’t want but after the other cat was run over, he came home one day & his partner had brought home a new kitten without telling him. Seriously, these 2 are messed up!) is called Pickle. I laugh & say that’s hilarious that he has his chat app nickname as his cats name, but he says that his son named it & it was a coincidence. What a fucking weird coincidence.

Noodle tells me how stubborn he is when as a joke he gets deleted from a group again & he says that he’s too stubborn to re-join, I know he’s fucking stubborn, I’m fucking stubborn too, I think more than him sometimes, but I guess in this scenario, I can just move on to another guy, I don’t think there are many women out there who would do what I’m doing for as long as we have. So I send him a picture of me sucking his cock & say that I actually look quite good. He says “You look fucking smoking hot, but I can resist.” I am sitting in my car, at lunch thinking fuck you, no you can’t resist me, no more than I can resist him, so I say “Could you resist kissing me, kissing my ear, feeling me react? Or sucking my nipples while your cock is in my pussy feeling it get wetter… Or when you put my legs on your shoulders & my cunt squirts all over us… Or when you slip in my ass when I’m so wet… Or bending me over the pool table, sitting on the washing machine, the desk in your office… Or tying me to the bed to spank my ass then fuck me from behind… Or resist me when I’m on the pool table with a vibe in my pussy just making you watch… Or me licking your sensitive balls & cock till you cum in my mouth then I keep sucking when it’s even more sensitive… Should I bother mentioning tit fucking & cumming all over them wearing your cum all day like a dirty little mistress…” He responds “OMG, Fuck you #IBD4U” I send a selfie in the car with a look that says what I follow up with “Don’t mess with me!!!!” I’m sitting there giggling when he says “That’s a pretty smug smile. You enjoy me being addicted to you, don’t you?” Why, yes I do!! Hehehe. I call him a loser & he says “Pfft, says the loser fucking me” Well FUCK!

The follow Tuesday night, he drives to his parents house, leaves his phone in a bush & then comes over to my house… Are you fucking kidding me that this is even worth it? FFS. This is seriously next level, who does that? & it also sucks that he is not going to stay over, he does toy with the idea of leaving his phone in the bush all night but since she’d actually messaged his mum to find out if he stayed over, he wasn’t going to risk it. Damn it. I’m fucking devastated that I had this stupid fantasy & that I was so invested in it… It’s probably for the best that he doesn’t stay over, even though I want him too so badly. I hide my disappointment by fucking him in my small spare room, I’ve never fucked in here before at all, never even slept in the room. I get him to fuck my tits & he cums on them, taking a picture of his cum on my tits before he spends time rubbing it in. I don’t know if I just like him touching me or if I actually enjoy that feeling, it’s so dirty & so fucking hot!

Noodle has his brother’s wedding coming up in a few months, he’s been losing weight for it, like over 30 kgs. He looks fucking amazing. He’s been shopping this week & bought a suit to wear to another wedding he has coming up also, that his partner is in. He sends me a picture of him in it & he looks sexy as fuck in it! Jesus… It gets me wet just seeing him in a picture that I tell him I want him to fuck me in that! I tell him this & he says that he wants to fuck me in it too, that his partner hasn’t even seen him in the suit yet. However later I study the picture he sends me of him in the bathroom, there is crap all over the bench, bottles of deodorant, their 3 toothbrushes leaning on the edges of the sink, a hairdryer & brushes strewn about the bench. It’s a fucking mess… But then I see Noodle standing there proud in his suit, looking sexy as fuck & I can’t see anything else.

We both have the day off work – it’s Friday, I have bought some sexy lingerie, I haven’t told him that when he walks in the door today that I will be standing at the door in lingerie & he’ll know to force me to my knees & suck his cock as soon as he walks in the door. We’ve talked about this scenario before, but he doesn’t know that I’m setting up for him to walk into… I spend all morning getting ready, I have my eyelash extension appointment, I have washed my hair, curled it lightly & put a bit of make up on. I then put the lingerie on, drop some heels by the front door, ready to slip on when he gets there… I look amazing, I feel amazing & I’m excited to see his reaction. I’ve been naked for him before & in my usual underwear (which he thinks is sexy, but it’s just my usual lacy underwear everyday – I don’t realise they’re sexy to be honest, I just wear them but he tells me that his partner wears grandma underwear. I find these undies more comfortable than my bonds undies so I’ll never be caught in grandma undies!) but never in specific lingerie that I bought with him in mind. My heart is pounding in my chest. I’m peeping out the window knowing he’ll be here soon, I see his car pull in the drive way, so I straighten myself out, step into the heels & wait by the door. I don’t know how to stand, so I just stand there with a hand on the hip, trying to look sexy but probably coming across as if I’m angry… Hahaha…

The door opens & my heart is in my throat, pounding so hard, I’m sure he’ll be able to see it, it takes me a second to realise what he is wearing, because I am so scared about his reaction of me that I can’t look at him. When I realise he’s wearing the new suit! FUCK… He looks hot as fuck. His eyes do this thing where they basically look like Roger Rabbit when his eyes pop out of his head. I’m sure my eyes are doing the same, fuck this guy is hot!

We both smile, this is like the most perfect moment, the perfect fantasy that we didn’t even plan!! How do we do that?! I walk to him & I’m still a midget against his 6’1 stature, even in these ridiculously high heels, we say hello & kiss like there is no tomorrow. He’s feeling my ass & my hands are in his hair, I am seriously so turned on just by seeing him in this suit. He pushes me face first against the wall, so much so, my face leaves make up on the wall. He pushes himself against me & kisses my neck turning me on. He slips his hand down into my panties & makes me almost cum, but then stops. FUUUUCCCK!

He turns me back around & I rub his cock though his pants for the short time that he allows me to do it, of course he’s hard & he pushes me to my knees. This is exactly what we talked about, his cock pokes out of his suit, just his fly undone & he forces me to take it in my mouth, I suck his cock until he is ready to cum, he cums on my tits in the lingerie with this noise that I know I have fulfilled the brief! FUCK that was hot!!! Because he stays hard after he cums, he gets naked & fucks me until I am cumming. He doesn’t cum this time, but he says that he enjoys it anyway.

We sit around talking, he covers his cock because he’s so conscious of it when it’s soft (I don’t think it’s as small as he does…. He has dick dysmorphia – if that’s a thing, just as I have body dysmorphia – I think I am fatter than what I am) & I actually make us a healthy pizza for lunch. It’s the first time I’ve ‘cooked’ for him & I like that he is here for most of the day. We sit on the couch eating pizza, chatting & just hanging out. I love this… Sometimes the hanging out is my favourite part…

It’s not long though before we’re kissing, touching & turning each other on again, we get naked again, from what little clothing we have on. I’m sort of laying on the edge of the couch, while he kneels over me to fuck me, I’m so wet from before cumming multiple times that he can slide in me easily. We are in sync even though this position is a little awkward but some how feels amazing. Noodle is fucking me hard, his eyes holding my gaze when I feel myself building ready to cum again, we don’t stop looking at each other as we cum together, convulsing, not able to control ourselves… HOLY FUCKING BATSHIT… That was intense! I have never ever cum at the same time as a guy before, ever! I have also never cum, while looking a guy in the eye before.

WOW! Could I be mistaken, but did we just make love?



Mixed Bag #2 – Rules, New York & Not What I’m Looking For

Here is the second Mixed Bag. This is just a bunch of short stories… Lets see what you think of these guys! Hahaha… When I read these stories, I understand why I have become so entwined with a partnered man…


I can’t remember when this was, it was a few years ago, it was when I was starting to get into kink & thinking about open relationships – probably around the time I started seeing Milky the first time, when I met someone online on the chat app who said he was married – what fucking surprise! I pretty much was like, I’m not talking to him but he tells me that has some rules. WTF? As if he has the audacity to tell me he has rules? But I am intrigued, so I bite & ask him what the rules are.

He tells me that he & his wife are open but they don’t play together, they only play with other people alone, he tells me that they have decided on some rules such as that they must use condoms – well of course, this is a no brainer… That they can’t bring the person back to their house, it must be in a hotel or at the other persons house but the rule that got me most, was that they can only see the person no more than 3 times. This intrigued me, especially thinking about it since I am now midst affair that is getting messy. If Noodle had this rule then I wouldn’t be in this mess… I guess if I stuck to my rule of never chatting to a married man, then we wouldn’t be in the mess either. I am in such trouble here.

But these rules get me thinking, I am realising how many married men & even women there are on these apps looking for something more, whether it be sex or just someone to talk to, there are more coupled people than single people. I wonder what I would be like in a relationship? Would I be open to being in an open relationship once we’re established? Would I have rules or would I be able to be like Max & Sweetie & just let my partner go spend the night at someone else’s house while I sleep alone? Potentially taking someone out on dates, while I sit at home alone? I highly doubt that I would ever be ok with my partner dating another women or spending the night with someone, I am not that secure in myself. I will admit that.

So my open relationship rules would be:

  1. Must use condoms
  2. No sleepovers or dates (perhaps a drinks date may be allowed)
  3. Maximum times to see the same person eg: 3.
  4. No bringing the person to our house (Assuming we’re living together)
  5. Take it in turns

I guess, it would all depend on the dude & I wouldn’t be ok with it if we weren’t established with trust, communication & respect. But it’s an intriguing idea, I know I would be jealous, I know I would be so it would be taken in turns – so it’s even, if he gets a woman then it’s my turn until I get a man, then it’ll be his turn again. This then stops any jealously as we both get the same number of partners outside our relationship, it’s definitely never going to be one sided.

This a very intriguing idea & I won’t be having this conversation with someone to start off with – like the guy in my first mixed bag, but eventually I’ll potentially float the idea just to make sure the spark is alive. I don’t want to know that my partner is doing something behind my back, I’d rather it in front of my face while we’re being honest about it. I would rather my partner be open about wanting sex with other women, than knowing he is trolling online to chat to other women. I am more ok with him having sex with someone than I am him chatting every day to someone, like Noodle & I are doing.

New York

While living in Canada, I travelled quite a lot though out Canada obviously, but I also did a little bit of the USA. I really wanted to go to New York, Seattle & Alaska (Story to come!), meeting all sorts of people. I wanted to do more, of course but I was backpacking so there wasn’t a lot of spare money to do extravagant travel, so from Toronto to New York, I booked a greyhound ticket & catch the bus. This may not seem that bad, but at this time there was apparently a guy who went nuts on a greyhound & decapitated a fellow passenger who he didn’t know while the poor guy was sleeping…

Here is the link to the Wikipedia page about it – it really happened, & yeah it freaked me out because only a few weeks later, I was booking a ticket on a fucking greyhound for a bloody 12 hours trip.

Obviously, this was an isolated indecent, however, note to self, I sit at the front of the bus & don’t sleep, not that I would be able to sleep anyway but also didn’t have my music up loud so that I was aware of my surroundings. Also when we were at the rest stops, I made sure that I aware of what was going on around me. It was a very tense trip to be honest, but nothing happened, obviously or I wouldn’t be here writing for you all.

The bus arrived in New York & it’s later at night obviously being that it’s a 12 hours bus ride. It’s also winter in the northern hemisphere, the bus terminal is sort of underground too, so I get y bag & walk up to the sidewalk (as they call it) & I am in awe! There is people everywhere, I walk to the side of a building trying to get my bearings. It’s interesting & takes me a while to work out that that it’s so bright because there is a really low cloud cover with all the bring lights in the buildings, makes it almost day light. I am trying to work out where I am & if I should find a taxi to get to the hotel that I’m staying at.

As I stand lost, in the busy freezing cold streets of New York, a tall dude with dark hair walks over to me & says “Excuse me miss, if I asked for your number would you give it to me?” this question is a little weird, if I say yes will he actually ask for my number? Or if I say no, will he ask for it anyway? As I am only in New York for 7 days, there is no point so I just explain that I only have an Australian phone number, he walks away not really taking the conversation any further. I must admit, it was a bit weird!

Also why does everyone call me Miss? I hate it so much makes me feel about ten years old. Guys do it ALL the time… It’s so strange. Does this happen to anyone else?

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Not what I’m looking for…

I match with a guy, he’s a bit younger than me, I seem to always match with people younger than me, it’s weird. However I definitely don’t look as old as I am, so lots of younger guys match with me saying how hot it will be to be with an older women. If I had a dollar for every time I heard that, I seriously could retire.

We go through the usual pleasantries before he asks me “How do you see this playing out between us? I’m pretty open to most things” Well I guess that’s a different way of asking what I’m looking for. I say my usual spiel, that I eventually want a relationship but want to take it slow, not in a rush for anything, so regular kinky fun is good to start (Remember my heart is closed! Hahaha) I ask what he’s looking for & he says “Ideally a relationship & kids down the track, no need to rush those things though. so some cheeky fun seems good to me” Shit, he wants kids… Well he’s only going to be a short term thing. That’s ok, so fun with a young guy might be just what I need. I say that I am keen to date & have some regular fun when he says “I’m not sure you’re exactly what i’m looking for relationship wise if I’m honest. no offence intended” WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK… He matched with me & we’ve sent like 10 messages & he’s decided I’m not what he’s looking for? Fuck I must be ugly… (Self esteem issues, I know!) I ask him why & say that there is no offence taken as he’s not what I’m looking for because I don’t want kids. He replys “Because if you did want kids your clock is ticking & it’s something I don’t want to rush, that’s the only reason I guess” OMG. Well at least it’s not about what I look like! He says that if it was he wouldn’t have wanted to fuck me at all.

I suggest that we just chat & can catch up for some fun, building up to some kink, he asks how kinky because he doesn’t want anything up his ass. Well I’m not going to put something up his ass, unless he asks for it. he likes my messages but days later he’s not replied, so I delete him. I have to give him snaps for this honesty at least. But this makes me wonder about other guys… Do other men think about my ticking biological clock? This has been a real eye opener!

What did you think of this lot? Is it me? I have been told that I am too picky, but really, am I?


Noodle #22

Noodle & I chat every day as usual. One night after Noodle has fucked me, he goes offline but then he messages me when his partner has gone to bed & the coast is clear. No hello, no pleasantries, just “I submitted your name to Australia’s got talent” WHAT THE FUCK? What for? I kind of smirk, not knowing where this is going – assuming there is some joke here. “The world needs to know of your self-lubricating ass” I laugh out loud! Fucking hell, Noodle really thinks he’s not funny & he knows that I am attracted to people who make me laugh – he doesn’t think he’s one of them, but he does make me laugh, so many times a day. I love it. That was gold.Noodle, weirdo who makes me laugh.pngNoodle is at another new store, it’s about 40+ minutes from my house – which means it’s about an hour or more from his without traffic, he tells me that his partner has told him that because he works late Tuesday nights & has to be back at the store early on Wednesdays (as always – this isn’t new but he’s never had to drive this far before) that he should stay at his parents house on Tuesday nights for the few weeks that he’s there – they live closer & also close to me. Both of our ears prick up at this, I mean this is an opportunity to stay over at my house! I am excited at this prospect. I literally start planning in my head what we will do, what will happen, thinking about sleeping in his arms. OMG, this will be the fantasy that I’ve always wanted with him! Could we risk this? Could we get away with him being here all night? Would she check up on him via the apple stalker app? This literally excites me so much to even think about… FUCK… This is not a good idea but I want it so badly! I can’t wait till our next Tuesday night!

Because he’s been at the new store, I haven’t seen him since Sunday when we fucked on the washing machine. WOW… I’m still remembering that, that was so amazing, I loved! Anyway, it’s a Friday afternoon, I have the day off & he isn’t at work so he again leaves his phone at home & brings his iPad. I know he can’t message me on the chat app, so I just have to wait till he gets here, so I plan something fun! I get rope, a blindfold, a vibrator, feather & flogger set up in the lounge room, having discussed that I want him to tie me to the ottoman & tease me, since our afternoon where time stood still. He walks in the door, I am naked waiting on the ottoman for him, with the toys sitting on the couch. We kiss & I undress him quickly, not only do I want him naked, but I want to see him naked & also touch him too. I help him tie my feet, because I know he’s not good with rope & is worried about looking like an idiot in front of me – I’m not good with rope either, but it’s just a simple shoelace tie. He then ties my hands above my head to the other end of the ottoman. I’m exposed, I’ve been exposed before with him, but not like this during the day, in the light! This is probably the most vulnerable I have ever been. The X restraints we usually use, are my go to because I can get out of them if I need too. I am on the ottoman, with rope restraining me more that I have been restrained with Noodle before. I trust him inexplicably, so I am not worried as he slides the blind fold over my face. Everything goes dark & my hearing seems to get better with the loss of my sight but all I can hear is my breathing & his, it seems to have increased with anticipation. I’m trying to work out where he is, what he’s doing & worried about how fat I look to him. I try to squash that out of my mind, he thinks I’m sexy, he wouldn’t still be fucking me 6 months later if he didn’t!

Noodle runs his hands over me & I feel the feather, fuck that tickles! It feels amazing, next minute without warning, he goes down on me, bringing me to the edge, about to cum, then he stops & I call him a prick. He gets the vibrator & does the same thing. I’m squirming & calling him a prick more than I care to say… I am loving this but also just want him to make me cum. He fucks me for a little bit then makes me suck his cock, I can taste myself on his dick, it’s really quite sexy. he makes me cum several times before he cums & the blindfold sort of falls off me from squirming too much & he picks up the flogger, sitting on the couch in front of me. I look at him, knowing he hasn’t done this much, but he hits me a few times & I am moaning in ecstasy at how well he does flogging me. I have never had anyone hit my front before, I usually get it done on my back & ass, but he does an amazing job, he is a natural at this, he never should think or feel like an idiot with me, I mean I tell him this all the time but he doesn’t really believe me. He thinks I’m this super experienced kink chick, which lets face it, I’ve been with about 3 men, including Noodle that have been kinky – I’m probably not even considered kinky in the actual kink world!! Fuck I don’t even care if I am kinky! I fucking love fucking this man!!

The following Sunday we’re chatting, he’s at work & the store far away when he suggests I get a vibe that goes inside me & meet him for lunch with it in… JEEZ! Instantly wet from that request & definitely not going to say no! He tells me not to wear panties as well… OMG DUDE, are you trying to kill me! I am in the car quicker than I care to admit & driving to meet him. I pick him up & he kisses me hello – like a peck on the lips as he gets in the car, which is sort of a new thing for us & very coupley but I adore it. His hand slides between my legs as soon as he sees me squirming in the seat & he asks if I’ve had it on like a good girl the whole drive. I say yes, because of course I have – he makes this noise that which I know means he’s just gotten hard at the thought. We drive around trying to find somewhere to fuck at this new store & I used to work in the area so when we can’t find something, I drive to my old work carpark but it’s full of cars. FUCK. I drive down a side street, turned on as fuck wanting to just fuck his brains out, when I find an empty lot behind some houses. I pull in to a carpark & he is unbuttoning his pants really quickly, with a look on his face that he wants it too & I pull the vibe out & climb on top of his lap as he clicks the seat backwards to give us more room. Kissing him, sliding his cock into me so easily as I am saturated. This is sexy as fuck!

He makes this groaning noise as I slide down his cock, I literally love that sound. So manly & so rugged, that I have to kiss him as soon as I hear it, his beard rubbing all over my face. My hands in his hair with his hands on my bare ass, since I’m wearing a short dress for him – easy access & also to save time. I pop my tits out the top & shove them in his face, which he makes that noise again, fuck, I love making him make that noise! He says that he doesn’t cum this way so once I’ve cum a couple of times, I climb off him & sit in the front passenger seat leg well & suck his cock, it’s a weird angle in which I am sitting but I don’t care, I suck his cock, till his starts rubbing it himself & he looks at me with those eyes that I push my tits together & let him cum all over them… I don’t think I’ve told you that he does that quite often now, I really used to think it was gross & hated cum on me, but now I love it, I love the way he looks at me when I let him, I love the way he makes a sound when I push my tits together to make sure he gets them & I actually love the feeling, like I am being branded by him. But most of all, I love that he rubs it in when he’s done! He rubs my tits & it actually feels amazing… So weird, but yeah, if you haven’t figured that out yet, then I’m not sure why you’re still reading! Hahaha.

I don’t see Noodle for a week! Fucking work trip! Which means that I don’t get to see if he’ll spend the night at my house on the Tuesday night. However, it’s a good opportunity to see what she does the first night he spends away from her. Unfortunately for my fantasy, not only does she track his phone with the stalker app, she actually asks his mum if he stayed over… Fucking hell, she’s paranoid! (At this point, she has every right to be of course.) There goes my overnight fantasy, he won’t stay over now. Even if next week she doesn’t ask his mum. I wonder what his mum thinks of that?!

So when I am back on Friday morning Noodle is sneaking into my bed before work! Pretending that he is at the gym on his day off. It’s also her day off which is why he’s gone to the gym early. I think they have a baby appointment. He doesn’t really tell me much & I don’t ask to be honest. I want to know the least I can about the baby.

I tell him that night, that I am not fucking anyone else & that I don’t want too either, he knows this fact already but he still questions me. I wonder if it’s a test to see how much I am into him because I know he gets jealous, he tells me “As much as I love you being MY dirty little slutty mistress… I’d never have that expectation of you. & as much as I’d get jealous” HA! he finally admits it! Hahaha… I know he does, it’s hilarious when he does but also I try so hard to make sure that he doesn’t have a reason to be jealous. He tells me too “I actual don’t want sex with anyone else. Not just cos of the quantity of sex with you. but the quality too. Haha” Awwww… fuck! But this seems to turn into a fight about another dude in the groups, I’ve talked about before Holden, Noodle tells me that if I fuck him, “It will absolutely piss me off tho, but I’ll live.” Well firstly Holden is married, albiet in an open relationship but his partner keeps a tight leash so he’s not done anything as far as I’m aware & he’ll talk to me sporadically & then won’t private chat with me for ages. He’s also got my phone number which he used for a while, but then stopped. I’m assuming his partner wasn’t happy about it so he stopped – I’m not really sure.

When Noodle starts saying that I’m only fucking him out of convenience, I get so angry! Like fuck, I’ve been going out of my way for the last 5, almost 6 months to fuck this guy, at random places, sneaking around, not even telling my best friend that I’m seeing this guy because she was cheated on, not being able to see him when I want & he thinks this is convenient?! Is he insane!!! This is the most inconvenient thing I have ever been involved in & I don’t want to fuck Holden, especially if Noodle is going to be so upset about it. I agree with Noodle & say that if he had of fucked this chick that used to flirt with him hard (all the time, used to piss me off, I’m glad she’s out of the groups now) so I would’ve been pissed off so I tell him that I won’t fuck Holden. He just keeps saying “Its ok, I’ll live” & “I’ll survive…” or “Part of the deal” that I snap “You’re a fucking wanker, I’m going to sleep. Night” & I put my phone down – even though it kills me to do it, not reading his last message that I hear come through, which is probably just “Night” but I refuse to look at it.


Guest Blog: Erotica – For Her

Erotica Thursday’s is back (for today only!) This is a erotica story written by my male friend… I like reading stuff from the men too!

This is a similar fantasy that I’ve enjoyed but have also experienced (Story to come!)

Here’s a link to my erotica scenes… Scene one – Nipple Bells, Scene two – Wake Up Call , Scene Three – His Orgasm & Scene Four – The Wake Up Call , Scene Five – Blindfold, Scene Six – Shower, Scene Seven – Anticipation, Scene Eight – Watching, Scene Nine- Quick Fuck, Scene Ten – Her Surprise & Scene Eleven – Prick.


For Her

The mood in the house is quite uplifted. I bounce around the living room to my favourite song. The bass from the speakers reverberates from the floor boards. The warmth from the fireplace radiates throughout the room. I pour myself another glass of wine and lay back in the recliner, gazing out the window. I look at the clock. 5pm. A smile appears on my face. A sense of excitement overwhelms me as I see his car pull in to the driveway. My man is home. I take one last quick look in the mirror. I’m wearing his favourite red lace lingerie. Letting him know that I’m in desperate need of hot animal sex. The thought of his hands on me, controlling me, has me ready and eager. I watch him get out of his car. The greasy, dirty, hi-vis outfit encompassing his body, is my favourite sight. His dark sunglasses covering those baby blue eyes. The image of him is something of my dreams.

He retrieves his esky from the boot of his car and walks towards the front door. I take a deep breath to centre myself as I open the door. His smiling face drops to a sly, cheeky grin as he sees me. He stumbles on the front step. I reach for his hand and pull him inside. Without taking my eyes off him, I take his esky from his hands, throwing it on the floor like it doesn’t have feelings and slam the door behind him.

“Don’t worry about your day, or what happened outside that door!” I instruct sensually. “Tonight, I am yours to do with whatever you please, do you understand?”

With that, I push him hard against the door and press my lips to his. I work my tongue into his mouth and melt with the flavour of his tongue that I’ve been craving all day. I wrap my arms around the back of his neck. He reaches down and firmly grabs my ass, lifting me onto his hips. I remove his sunglasses and gaze deep into his eyes. There’s something about them when they look at me. When he looks at me, its like I’m the only girl alive. I know he cares for me deeply. As I do him.

I passionately kiss him as he starts walking away from the door. Pulling away so he can see where he’s walking, he looks at me and says, “Whatever I want, hey?”. I nod childishly, knowing exactly where he’s taking me!

As we reach the doorway to the attic, he kisses me one last time and puts me down.

“Kneel” he commands.

Looking up at him gives me a feeling of being in complete surrender. My master and protector. He reaches above the door frame and retrieves the door key from the hiding spot. He opens the door and instructs me to crawl up the stairs. Knowing this is his favourite part, I crawl up slowly, accentuating my movements. Looking backwards I notice his adoring grin. His eyes fixated on the red lace.

“Whack!”. His hand connects with my right butt cheek, sending delightful tingles of pain through my body. I scurry up the stairs.

“On the cross!” he orders.

I slide my body against the cold, hard, polished St Andrew’s cross, expertly crafted by my masters very own hands. The cold, smooth varnish awakens my skin. The feel on my back is so harsh, but comforting. He straps my hands to the restraints above my head. Running his hands lightly down my body, he grabs my ankles. Spreading my legs, he attaches the straps around my ankles. I cannot move. He walks to the cabinet and retrieves my favourite blindfold. Placing it on me, he presses his lips against mine. His taste electrifies me. Without the sense of sight, I’m more aware of his many other attractive traits. His dirty, oily smell from his work clothes makes me reach out to taste him. He grabs me by the throat and pushes my head back. I moan as he instructs me to be good. I can feel my panties getting wetter as I yearn for him to touch me.

“Bad girls get punished!” he remarks, as he ties a neck tie over my mouth to muffle my sound. Preventing me from trying to taste him.

Suddenly, a sharp pain scorches my breasts. The pressure increases as he tightens the nipple clamps. The pain is intense but pleasing. He tugs on the chain, stretching my already compressed nipples. He pulls further. In my mind I’m waiting for my nipples to tear, but I know that he is in complete control and cautious with his every move. He would never hurt me more than my limits.

He lets go rapidly and my nipples return to my chest. Rebound pain is more intensely pleasurable than the feeling of them being pulled on. My moan is muffled by the necktie. I love being able to scream behind the mask.

He grabs my face and kisses my neck. The polar opposite soft, sensual, contrasting feeling makes me weak at the knees. I love when he creates contrasting sensations!Erotica, for her.pngHe kisses me downwards. Along my neckline. Over my breasts. I’m yearning for him to continue. He complies. He grabs at my waist and kisses me just above my spot. I push my hips into him. The warmth of his tongue gently touches my button. I moan louder as he starts drawing circles around it. Pulling me apart, he pushes his tongue slightly inside and my body collapses slightly into my restraints. He pulls away, back to my clit and runs his fingers around my opening. Pressing ever so slightly on my muscles, he makes me relax around them. Timing my hips with his fingers, I rotate around him. Slowly he pushes his way inside, pressing firmly along my front wall. He pushes his fingers in their full extension. I scream as he presses hard upon my pleasure spot, that he knows all too well where to find. His mastery of his fingers inside my body makes me grind my hips, harder against him. Faster and faster his fingers move against my front wall. The pressure is building, I can feel that familiar feeling is coming. He can sense it too. Increasing in speed and pressure he presses firmly against my spot. My muffled screams get louder and louder behind my necktie gag. The sensations swell throughout my body and the blood rushes to my head. I feel the liquid escape my body. The sound of his fingers, squelching inside me as he slaps them around, in complete control of my body. I collapse further in my restraints as the feeling subsides throughout my body. My head drooped as low as my neck will allow.

He removes my gag and presses his fingers into my mouth. Making me taste myself. I clean his fingers diligently, knowing that it turns him on immensely. I don’t mind my taste either, mixed with the flavour of his hand. He removes my blindfold and I stare at the floor beneath me. My satisfied face stares back at me in the wet polished floorboards. Totally spent and exhausted from the attention that my man just gave me.

As he massages his hands along my legs, I feel the blood return. The sensation of touch appears in my legs once more and I find the strength to stand on my own feet again. The sensations continue as he runs his hands up my torso, over my breasts and to my face. Lifting my head, our eyes meet. His face is awash with content smugness. He kisses me on the lips and returns the blindfold to my face.

The feeling of the rope around my waist is soft and sensual. As he ties my hips to the St Andrews cross, I feel something unexpected is about to happen. I cannot see what he is doing. I feel something spherical being pushed against me. As I feel the rope cinch tight against my body, I realise what he’s done. He’s tied it against me, pushing firmly on me.

“Im going to have a shower, I will be back shortly!” he exclaims.

“Don’t you fucking dare you bastard!” was my desperate reply.

He kissed me on the lips and then I feel him move away. My focus turned to the spherical pressure on my button, knowing that in any second, I may or may not be in severe uncontrollable discomfort until his return.

The feel of the headphones being placed over my ears was distracting enough. My favourite band starts playing. My master knows me well. The intro builds. The singer’s voice screams through my head. I cannot see or hear what my master is doing. I cannot move, restrained to the cross. Almost all my senses have been removed and I am unaware of my surroundings. The song builds toward the bass drop. A gentle kiss on my lips just before it hits, then as it does…..

“Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz”. Trapped in restraints, with no awareness of what’s around me, and a hitachi wand tied firmly against my clitoris while my master leaves to have a shower…….



Noodle #21

So I’ve noticed that the Noodle posts are much more popular days with my blog stats than the filler posts. I even posted this question on the Facebook page (follow me on FB to make sure you get all the updates @ivebeendatingforyou or sign up via email on wordpress for immediate notifications of posts) & was surprised that the answer was yes, Noodle is popular – even a hash tag was made #MakingTimeForNoodle hahaha.

However, the filler posts are very important to the Noodle story! How, I hear you ask? Well, I know some of you aren’t happy about the fact that Noodle has a partner, believe me, I know how stupid this is, I don’t even understand why I am in this position to be honest… I’m a smart woman. But if you read any of the filler posts over the years – the mixed bag series is a good one to see what I’m talking about, then you may have an inkling of how Noodle & I got so involved with each other.

Noodle is consistent! He replies to all my messages – all day, everyday for months, he initiates chats with me, he wants to chat to me – even when it’s not sexy talk – we talk about everything, he doesn’t bullshit me – spinning me bullshit lines like other guys do, he fucks me regularly, he makes time for me whenever he can & the sexual tension build up is so intense that we explode when we’re together.

So while you may prefer the Noodle stories, just remember the reason why I am even making such an effort with Noodle, is because the filler stories are all the other fuckwits I’ve had to date & how I ended up here! If it wasn’t for those douches, I perhaps wouldn’t have gotten so involved with Noodle. So they are important to my story, make sure you read them too, sometimes they are in order, sometimes they are a trip down memory lane! However, having said that, like I’ve said before, I do think the universe has been pulling Noodle & I together online & in real life. Concerts, the anonymous app & him dating my staff member. With the sexual chemistry we have, it’s no wonder the universe wanted us to meet!!

But moving forward, I will make the Noodle posts a little bit longer, so I can start to catch up a bit since I’m currently still about 18 months behind (I don’t ever want to be in real time, but I don’t want to be this far behind!) & perhaps I will maybe post less filler posts! Perhaps on non blog days, I may post a bonus Noodle post too… Make sure you like & follow me everywhere… You may all get your wish on Noodle!

So after my jaw locked for what seemed like forever, I make an appointment with the dentist who refers me to a specialist – it’s been hurting a lot since then. I never want that to happen again. It gets sore sometimes when I suck Noodle’s cock so I don’t want to have to stop doing that… I love doing that! I need to get it looked at. One of my sisters friends even had to have surgery on her jaw, so I’m freaking out that I might have to do that too!

When I drive past his old store, the one in which we fucked in, I am reminded of the sexy times we had in there… That I message him to tell him where I have just been past & we talk about how fucking hot it was when we fucked in his office. It’s so sexy when we talk about all the amazing times we’ve fucked, it turns us both on to talk about it. Usually it makes him want me more.

It’s almost a week before Noodle fucks me again, I know it freaked him out with my jaw locking, I remember it freaking out Milky, but with him not able to fake his location, it also makes it harder for us to see each other. He comes over Monday morning before work to fuck me in bed. I seriously wish that he could spend the night one time, I would love that. FUCK! Closed heart…. Yes very closed.

The next night, on Tuesday, I have come home from the gym, I have told Noodle that I want him to meet me in the shower. He says he’s just finishing up work & will be over soon, so I get in the shower & start washing my hair, so that I’m basically done when he gets there & we can just have shower sex. I’m excited for this to be honest, I have left the front door open & I am waiting for him to come over, showering leisurely, I have picked a good play list ready for us to fuck too, it’s going to be a fun evening. But I get a message saying he can’t come over – no real explanation, just that he can’t come over. I have a waterproof phone, so I’m thankfully I am able to read the message while in the shower – rather than just waiting around like a complete loser for ages. What the fuck Noodle! I try to start crying, but fuck I can’t even cry, tears never flow from me, but that’s how I feel right now. He doesn’t even apologise or anything, but he just says his partner is tracking him & he has to go home. I don’t even understand what is going on that I just read his messages but don’t reply. He doesn’t even message me much on his way home either. I am fuming, not that he has to bail because honestly, I’m surprised this is the first time that he’s really had to bail at the last minute, but the fact that he doesn’t even seem to care nor has he even said the word ‘sorry’ is what I’m angry about. If I had to bail, I do the apology vomit & am genuinely feeling shit about bailing… He hasn’t said sorry or given me any reason as to why he can’t come over besides he’s being tracked… He’s always tracked so what does that even mean?

He later sends me a screenshot of a text message with his partner – I’m assuming she’s now in bed, like me unsatisfied. It has her name at the top of the screenshot, so now I know her name… In a way it’s similar to mine, starts with the same letter… Then it hits me… FUCK. I used to shop at her store before I knew that’s where she worked, I have been face to face with this women… I remember seeing her name tag & thinking about the way her name was spelt. I remember her following me through the store, not knowing who she was & clearly she didn’t know who I was, probably having fucked her partner hours before being at the shops! FUCK… Second why would he send me a screenshot? I guess to prove to me that she was tracking his phone? I guess I’ve always believed everything he’s told me, I mean I know he’s a liar & he gets away with it so easily, but he has no reason to lie to me, I mean he’s been so brutally honest with me about so many things, I guess I should expect that he would send me screenshots. However it makes it hard to pretend she doesn’t exist. I never tell Noodle that I know what is partner looks like, but we’re pretty much exact opposites… I can definitely see the appeal with me.

The top message from her is a picture of something in a catalogue saying “We need to get a fucking decking. That is fucking amazing” It honestly surprises me a lot that she swears so much, I don’t know why, is it because she’s a mum or because he makes her sound really boring & straight laced – I don’t know this woman, but you know when you have a picture in your head of someone & it’s different to what you thought. Now I try to recall what she looks like when I saw her… Then she sends him “Y r u at big w.” Then immediately after “???.” Also it surprises me that she uses text speak, I didn’t think any person, who is close to 30 uses text speak anymore? Maybe because Noodle doesn’t use text speak, I just assumed that she wouldn’t – again just an assumption that I made, I have no basis for this assumption… I mean I guess this is a chick who used to get in fights at a nightclub, back in the day…

He replies to her that he’s at his work but he’s heading home now. I’m not sure why he sent me a screenshot of their conversation but also I don’t think he needed to bail on me. Maybe that’s just me being jealous, perhaps he should go home…

We chat but I’m in a bitchy mood, I guess this has gone on long enough. Noodle & I have been drama free for pretty much the entire time, it’s been 6 months since we started chatting daily & 4 months since we started fucking weekly, we’ve had a little hiccup before we even met when he tried to friendzone me, but basically we’ve not had any issues. We’ve both gotten a little jealous from time to time when the other is flirting with someone in the group but it’s not been a massive problem.

He hasn’t fucked me since Monday morning, because he had to bail on Tuesday night when he realised she was tracking him, so I’m snippy again from lack of sex, I can’t help it. I fucking miss him! We’re having a snippy discussion & tell him to go sow his wild oats then, when he says “Don’t put this back on me, I don’t want to fuck anyone else. Wild oats tho? Plus you’ve fucked your fair share of people since fucking me, so you make no sense” Fucking hell, maybe I don’t make sense. But fuck, I’m angry. I calm down & say sorry that I’m in a weird mood & clearly just need to be fucked. He agrees. I hate that I get like this, I mean I cannot blame him I am the stupid one in this situation, so I have to just accept it as “part of the deal” as Noodle constantly says to me. (Just FYI, it makes me so fucking angry when he says its all part of the deal, he uses it whenever he is jealous & also when he is feeling guilty – but it makes me furious)

So Saturday afternoon straight after his work, his partner is also working but she has to go pick up their son, so he comes over to my house for an hour. Again, I wish I could say no, but fuck it sucks that I want him so badly. We talk every day & things are normal but I miss him touching me, I get a lot of Noodle, virtually, I just don’t get a lot physically & I miss it… We play virtually almost every night but it’s not the same… I want him touching me, kissing me, lying in bed together… AH Shit!

Noodle Smile naked.png

The next day during his lunch break, because this is the last day at this store, he’s moving stores for a few weeks which is so far away from my house, even further from his house, that there will be no lunch breaks – I don’t know when we are going to see each other while he’s at this new store, the drive for him will be over an hour… When he gets to my house on Sunday, as usual I am doing some washing, I am in the laundry when he walks in, he scares me, I jump like a lunatic. He chuckles, loving the fact that he scared me. We kiss, getting naked in the dining room, fucking on the dining room table before he stands me up, smirking – I can’t help but smile with him, I love when he smiles at me. I have no idea what he is planning, this guy always catches me by surprise. He thinks he doesn’t but he does, I think he’s going to lead me into the bedroom, but he pushes me backwards into the laundry, (I’ve told him about a washing machine fantasy!) so he helps me up on the washing machine that’s in the spin cycle! Well, hello there! For anyone who hasn’t fucked on a washing machine, I suggest you put on a load & get in there!! Hehehe… It was fucking amazing!!



Before Boyfriend came along, I was happily single & planning a trip to Canada to live for 6 to 12 months on a working holiday. I’d been talking about going for years, I’d even started saving for it & ready to apply for my visa. I’d also gotten the travel bug having just come back from Fiji (Where I had Swiss), then Vietnam with Boyfriend, but I settled down & bought my house, that I didn’t get go overseas again for many years… So after Boyfriend & I broke up, I moved back in with my parents, rented out my house & went to Canada on a working holiday.

Disclaimer: This is actually my journal from 2008 when I went to live in Canada. I have edited it & added some info to make it make sense for a blog post, but it is mostly the journal I kept.

Here it is!

When I told my friend that I was going to live in Canada, she was positive that I would sit next to my soon to be husband on the plane. She wasn’t the only one to tell me that I would meet the love of my life in Canada & never come back to Adelaide… (Spoiler alert – we all know where I live now! Hahaha)

Well my flight from Adelaide to NZ sure didn’t have ‘the one’ on it as they were ladies next to me & this would require a very different lifestyle change. However getting onto the plane from NZ to Vancouver, two guys were in front of me & of course there are hold ups along the way as people put their stuff in the overheads & stuff about getting into their seat, where they put on their seat belt only to have to take it off again to get something out of their bag, which of course is in the overhead. I was stuck behind these two guys when I noticed they were getting into my row & I had the window seat so I stopped them & as I got into my seat I laughed, thinking that one of these 20 year old boys could be my perfect match! However sitting next to these boys, I realised that these were not the perfect match for me when they started going through the movies that were available on the in-flight channels, where they found a movie & decided that they needed to be started at the same time so that they could watch them together, restarting the movie twice to make sure they would watch it together.

I arrived in Banff & found a job within a few weeks at a currency exchange – I had no idea what I was doing there to be honest. I gave away money all the time by accident but I never got fired… But before I got the job, I had done a tour for 6 days to get to Banff, I met lots of people as a younger backpacker. When I settled in Banff though, I got stuck in a room with 7 other people – all boys! Now I’m no prude, that’s fine, but they didn’t they have to put me in a room with only boys in it… How weird for them, 1 chick?! I wonder if one of these boys could be the one I’m going to stay in Canada for? Not likely, as they’re all fucking Australian! But who knows… Lets just hope they don’t snore!

Ok so the boys snore & they have no respect for anyone because some of them came home, talked at a normal volume & stuff around going through their stuff, peeing with the door open until they finally get into bed & start snoring! So I slept with my mp3 player (Yes, I had a MP3 Player then!) on which meant I didn’t sleep very well at all.

I don’t spend a lot of time in my room because the boys are not really that friendly, so sitting in the common room when I talk to my first Canadian, that’s right I have been in Canada for 8 days now & I’ve only just met my first real Canadian & he seemed quite nice, a bit quiet & didn’t have a good sense of humour plus half the time he didn’t understand what I was saying, which made the conversation a bit stale. But he tried & I tried… I need to make some friends here!

I sit in the common room most of the day trying to meet some new people, but is so hard just butting into people’s conversations & trying to get them to be your friend. A couple of girls came & sat next to me on the couch for a bit & we talked which was really good, but once their dinner was ready they left. They were really nice to talk to & I think that I will probably talk to them again. So at this stage still not job or friends yet. But I’m hopefully, I have only been here on my own for two days. While still looking for my job, I am spending a lot of time in the common room, because I’m not going to meet anyone new in the all boys dorm room!

I chat to the Canadian guy every day when he is in there too… We chat a bit before he goes off to break in his new ski boots. He seems to keep going out to get coffees & break in his boots, I feel like I’m his only friend too, which is a bit sad considering he is from this country – but it’s good to have someone I guess.

I change rooms because I can’t handle being with all these aussie boys. I’m here to meet a Canadian! Though now I’m going into a girls dorm I probably won’t meet any boys, however I am at least going to make some friends.

One morning, I was having some breakfast, in the common room, now looking for some places to live, when the Canadian Guy asked me if I wanted to go up Sulphur Mountain with him, as I had my job interview that afternoon, I had to say no. That kind of sucks, but hopefully he’ll ask me again or we can do something another time.

The girls that I was talking to in the common room have become a bit of a friendship group for me, I have found out that they are sisters & here on a working holiday too but are struggling to get a job too. They invite me out one night to bingo, which I am not sure about but decide to go. We get there & they are closing the doors & not letting people in, like they are turning people away!

This is where the sisters, tell me about how weird this Canadian guy, who I’ve been chatting too thinking, he’s not a bad guy, Apparently. he’s a bit of a stalker, asking both the girls to kiss him one night when they were out, when the both said no he said “Come on its Banff” so now I am glad that I didn’t go on the walk with him. He didn’t have a very good sense of humour anyway – something I am very attracted too, he didn’t really get any of my jokes or understand what I was saying to him & from what I hear, he is pretty close to being kicked out of the hostel. Also, do you know what I just realised, he has worn the same outfit everyday that I have been here!

The bar we’re at closes at 2am so we go back to the hostel only to find the Canadian Guy out the front doing something very strange, which is a little hard to describe, but he was kind of throwing his arms up in the air & walking backwards, looked like some sort of rain dance. He came inside & told us that the lighter he was trying to blow up wasn’t going to blow up. At this point I snuck out & went to bed. It was after all 3am & WTF!

After about a month or 2, living & working in Banff, I was in a bit of routine now. One day I went & had some dinner, bought a book being that I have finished the one I brought with me, I walked home to see some deer or elk on the road wandering around a little bit lost – it’s a small town & there isn’t a lot to do to… I came home to a phone call from one of the women at work. She said she had someone to talk to me, WTF? Who would be calling me at work? It turns out that it was this guy that my boss thinks likes me as he flirts & stuff when he comes in. I just joke around & said that he seemed nice – never thinking that a man would be interested in me. Of course the chick at work, took it further & told him to ask me out, which is kind of weird because I don’t really date in Australia (I guess I do now! Hahaha), usually I would meet the guy with a group of friends so if he’s a loser then you can ditch him, so on the phone with this guy, he asks me out & for my phone number & said he’d give me a call. My boss rang me after he left & said he did a little jump when I gave him my number.Canada travel dickhead.pngI never get a call from that guy, what a surprise! My boss told me that the chick at work had forced him to call me, which I knew because it was her number that came up when she called. But my boss tells me that he came in to work to get my number again because apparently he lost it, so my boss gave it to him on a piece of paper when he passed it back to her & said how about you write your number down too. So that confirms it, guys are all jerks, no matter what country you are in! Nothing changed either, no matter how old you get.


Noodle #20

Noodle, Noodle, Noodle! What the actual fuck am I still doing? I know you’re all thinking it. Believe me, I am thinking it too… I need to work my way out of this somehow… But of course, I don’t. I wait around for him to be online, I wait around for his messages all day when we’re at work. I wait for him to suggest the next time we’re going to fuck. I wait a lot for this guy. Why aren’t I saying “Fuck you Noodle, I’m not waiting anymore, leave her & be with me or we’re over” FUCK… Firstly I would never give him an ultimatum, because I’m not that type of woman, I wish I was sometimes. But I am not going to trick someone into being with me & second, where the fuck did that come from?! Do I want him to leave her for me? Would it even work out? Why don’t I ask him to leave his partner? JESUS… WTF!

These kind of thoughts are just because this week has been weird, I’m tired from work, I have been sleeping with paperwork on the weekends, I have been withdrawn a lot from the chat app that even Sweetie (Max’s wife) has noticed & been messaging Noodle to find out if I am ok. He asks me what he should tell her & I said the truth, so he shows me what he messages her to say “Yeah she’s super busy with work over the last few days, I saw her this morning, she’s all good. She had work in bed with her tho, so yeah she’s got a lot of work stuff on her mind” I had something big that I was working on & it was taking up my mental space, so I’d been working at home a bit after hours, hence the bed time reading material. I know others had noticed my absence too. Later Noodle, takes a screenshot of my profile picture & sends it to me with writing over it LOST – If found please contact Sweetie” I literally laugh my head off & think I better message her, since I am on the chat app everyday chatting to him, I could find a second to message her. I have become what I hate, ‘too busy’ & absorbed in work & chatting to Noodle that I barely have been doing anything else.

So this morning, Noodle did sneak into my house before work on a Sunday to fuck me, then obviously had Sweetie worried about me, which is sweet. But also things are a bit weird with her since I haven’t seen her since her birthday or really talked to Max since he sent me a message for my birthday & we chatted a bit while I was in Hawaii, but then he ended up ghosting me again. I knew I shouldn’t even reply to his messages…

Noodle has also started showering at my house before he leaves, especially on nights where he goes home & knows she’s going to be awake. Usually on a Tuesday night she’s asleep when he gets home so he didn’t have to worry. He’s even told me that he’s slept next to her without showering, covered in our cum. I think it’s kind of sexy, but also so disrespectful… I am in this is a weird phase where I am turned on by the things he does but also appalled that someone would do that to someone that they say they love… It’s a weird feeling for me – please don’t think that I am as horrible as I sound!! Unless you’ve been in this position, you have no idea what you’d do. I always said I’d never keep chatting to married/partnered men & I did make sure I never did, except for Rob Rob, but I never met him, it was all online.

So now that Noodle’s partner is pregnant, apparently she has a heightened sense of smell (is that a real thing when pregnant?!) & has started sniffing his cock when he gets home, mainly from the gym. Yes you read that right… Firstly, how does that conversation even go? I could never ask a man to let me sniff his cock because I think he’s cheating on me. But also, why does he let her?! Does he pull it out & she sniffs it then they go make dinner or some other mundane thing? My imagination runs wild of course, I assume she sucks it after sniffing it, but I have no idea, I don’t ask but I hate when he tells me that she’s sniffed his cock. I get really jealous. I know he’s with her & obviously fucking her still – she’s pregnant, but I don’t usually think about them together… I guess what I don’t know doesn’t hurt me…. I heard a quote that said ‘We only believe the lies that will protect our feelings’ & I think that it’s so true… She believes I don’t exist, just as much as I believe she doesn’t exist… But question, which one of us is the dumbest here? I think me… As much as I don’t want to think about her or think I am the dumbest in this equation, I really am, I know about her, I am aware of the situation I am in, I’m not being lied to every time I ask if he’s cheating. Fuck I am so stupid!

Noodle believe the lies.png

So, back to the story, hahaha. He’s started showering before he leaves, I oddly like him showering at my house. Milky would shower but I never thought about it like I do with Noodle. I like him in my shower, sometimes I get in with him & we kiss & touch, but usually we get horny & he looks at his watch then we have to get out. When he’s done tonight, he basically throws the towel back on the rack so much so that I send a picture of his towel on the rack looking ridiculous, scrunched up & then I fix it & send a picture of what it should look like. I am, of course, being funny, it doesn’t bother me that much, but I wonder if it would piss me off if we lived together? Also how does it dry if it’s all bunched up? I guess if it’s my towel then it’ll piss me off, but if it’s his towel, that’s his problem – unless he then uses my towel because his is wet! Hahaha, I am almost certain that’s what he would do at home!

It does make me wonder what I would be like living with another person now… I’ve been living back in my house after returning from Canada for about 6 years now, all alone. I am set in my ways, I know that, I think that will be daunting for a guy to come into my life now, I know that my house looks like a show home, friends tell me that all the time, but it’s easy to keep it clean when you are the only one that lives there. Also I travel for work a lot, so much so that sometimes I am only home from Friday to Sunday, away for a couple of weeks consecutively. But even when I am home, all I do is go to work & gym then fuck Noodle, so I am barely at my house anyway. I generally come home from work when I am home, go to gym class, shower & get into bed. I’m barely ever in any of the other rooms, there’s no point.

A few days later, our usual Tuesday evening, I decide to leave the door unlock but not tell him anything… We’ve been talking about christening every room in my house. I have fucked in the big spare room before with Milky & Max, however I haven’t with Noodle. I decide to lay on the spare bed with a vibrator. I hear him walk in front door, he’s never quiet when he walks in, he’ll never be able to surprise me because he’s so loud. I have the vibe on teasing me as I see him walk past the spare room door, straight into my bedroom. I smirk knowing that he is going to be feeling stupid but I know he can hear the vibrator. He pokes his head into the spare room & says “Hmmm, what do we have here?” He undresses quickly & is on the bed kissing me. He’s on top of me & sliding easily into me being that I am turned on from the vibrator, he’s fucking me hard when something happens, I’m not sure how but his shoulder hits my jaw & it locks open. I’ve told you this before that I have jaw issues. Usually when I yawn it will sometimes lock open, it’s horrible, it hurts & it locked once with Milky when I was sucking his cock.

He realises something has happened & that I can’t talk, with my mouth wide open. I sit up massaging the sides of my jaw to loosen it up, but it won’t close. I can’t fucking sit here looking like an idiot clown that you stick the balls in their mouth at the fair. FUCK. I am so scared, WTF why won’t it close. This is the scariest moment of my life… He’s freaking out too, I’m pacing around, naked, wondering what the fuck I am supposed to do. I’m freaking out which is making it worse – thinking Noodle is going to have to take me to the emergency room & then I’m thinking what the fuck we are going to say at the hospital. Would he have to speak to someone there for me? Would he come in? (I find out later that his brother & sister in law both work at my local hospital, so he probably wouldn’t come in!) I wonder if he would talk to my sister on the phone to let her know he’s dropped me off at emergency, so someone could be there with me?

I google how to close it, of course everything to says to relax. Yeah, not easy to relax when in pain & feeling like a dickhead! It’s been a long time & it’s hurting a lot. Something suggests to lay on your side & massage it. I can’t talk & I’m feeling like an absolute fucking idiot. So I lay down rubbing it trying to think of anything but the fact my jaw has locked open for what seems like an eternity. It finally releases & I am so relieved… I know he is too, he’s sitting next to me on the couch naked, not sure what to do but he’s got his phone – also googling & a soft cock, I don’t think I’ve ever seen it soft… Fuck what a buzz kill!