So I’m skipping ahead with the time line actually, without giving too much away in my dating life right now, this is more recent – I still have a lot of content but this one is bugging me. I have dated another guy earlier that I dated before which I will write about because apparently I’ve dated them all, now I’m dating for the second time but I really want to hear what you guys think.
If you don’t remember Foodland, then click the link & go back to have a read. I wish I had of before I attempted date number 2, I would have kept to my gut instinct & not gone there at all! Spoiler alert, number 2 isn’t sounding promising, is it?! Hahaha.
Anyway a few times over the years when I am online dating Foodland comes up often & I chat but it usually fizzles out – mainly because of the first time, what’s the point, he had his chance with me. When I am with Silverlining, I am a bitch to Foodland knowing that I don’t care if I hurt his feelings but I give it to him straight & tell him he was a dick for fucking me then never messaging again. He again disappears & I think no love lost.
Another passage of time goes by & Foodland pops back up again, I decide to give him a go, I have given another dude from the past. a go post Silverling ending that I think perhaps this may work out?! Foodland tells me I was really angry last time we chatted & I explain that I was because I don’t want to be used, I didn’t feel like he was putting in effort & he says that he didn’t feel like I was interested or putting in effort either. Ok, fair call, I probably wasn’t when I was still chatting to Silverlining, but this time, I figure that I’ll give him a chance.
When he invites me out after I tell him that he never actually asked me out on a date the last few times we’ve chatted. It’s a crazy time for me, a friend & her baby have moved in as she left her partner & I have dogs now, after living with just my cat for the last 14 years, my house is a disaster, baby & dog stuff everywhere.
Foodland suggests gold class cinema because he wants a drink, I’d never been so I agree to go out with him on Friday night. We chat all day but I am out with my friend so when I don’t reply quick enough he asks me another question or sends me a picture of what he’s doing. Same as when I am at the gym, I don’t reply quick enough & he asks me if I want him to leave me alone. I tell him I will reply when I can between reps. I don’t see it as needy but think it’s sweet he’s interested.
He offers to pick me up Friday night, when I realise that he lives right by the cinema but he comes so far out of his way to come get me, but I tell him that he can’t come in via text, with my friend & baby here, the house looking like a disaster, but he says that he’s coming in, there’s no stopping it.
He also tells me that there are two rules to tonight’s movie, that he will hold my hand & he can shut his eyes if it’s scary. I tell him that he can’t hold my hand… FUCK! I do not want to hold his hand! I know that I have had sex with this man at some point in the past so I take the opportunity to remind him that I am not going to have sex with him tonight – he says that he was waiting for me to say that to him & I tell him I think that holding hands is to intimate. He & my friend do not get this but let me explain. I have lived with one man who barely held my hand & been in love with one man who never had time to hold my hand & we both regretted that. It’s such an intimate thing for me, that means something. It means there is affection, friendship possibly love. Not some random boy who I fucked once like 5 years ago & haven’t heard from again.
Because I don’t want to have sex with him tonight, I tell him he needs to work for it a bit more than get it on the first date like last time – even though his isn’t a first date I tell him that we need to go on more than one date. So he asks to see me Sunday, but I am busy & we work out that we can catch up Monday. Well this is promising 2 dates set up!
I spend a short time getting ready for Friday nights date, asking my friend & kid what to wear – she suggests a dress she likes me in but it’s a bit casual & she suggests that’s what I will wear on Monday’s date. We pick an outfit & when I enter the lounge room once I’m dressed, she tells me I look amazing. I feel like I have crazy hair & my make up is too simple but it’s the boost to my ego that I need, is that I look stunning & amazing. I am confident, this guy & I get along already so this date should be good.
When he arrives at my house, my friend is peering out the window saying how tall he is, he comes in & meets her & the baby, they have a laugh & my friend makes a joke about holding hands. She talks to him about his car, I ask him if he’s got the tickets to the movies, he says no but he’s booked a table at the restaurant I choose. As we leave he’s booking the gold class tickets, at $45 a pop.. Fuck the movie are expensive!
We order dinner, which he pays for, I order steak & he gets the order right. I did offer to pay for dinner being he bought the movie tickets but he tells me to just get us drinks, which I do. He buys another drink for us as the conversation flows easily. So easily that when my friend texts me to ask me if he’s held my hand yet, I laugh & tell him – its now become a big joke of the date but I honestly really don’t want to hold his hand.
We get to the movie & I suggest a bottle of wine for the movie, when he says he doesn’t drink a lot of wine so I can pick – in hindsight we should have just got a drink or two each, not a bottle. I am already ticking over very well!
We watch the movie, as his hand slides over to my leg, I actually think that this guy could be something more & against my better judgement, I let my guard down, just for a second & I let his fingers slide though mine & we hold hands for most of the movie!
OMG how risqué!
Anyway after the movie, we get in the car & as we’re driving home he takes a detour to a carpark & pulls up, turns to me & starts kissing me. The kissing is nice, it’s not amazing but it feels good. He doesn’t try anything further before he pulls away & we’re driving up the expressway. As we get closer to my house, I suggest the local boat ramp for some more kissing, which he does, we get out to look at the moon but I’m cold so we get back in kissing some more before he drops me home. Unfortunately because I am a bit more than tipsy, I don’t recall a lot of what happened, except that when he drops me off he doesn’t wait till I am inside before he drives off.
I go to bed & fall fast asleep just after midnight.
I awake around 8:30 am, getting ready to go to the gym, I feel a little shit – why did I drink so much! Urgh… There is a message from him “Night u thanks for a fun night” sent at 12:24 am. I quickly write back in the morning while running late, half asleep not thinking “Thanks. You’re welcome. I had fun too.” Expecting a reply later in the day, but nothing comes. At all! In fact I never hear from Foodland again! EVER…
What the actual fuck! I honestly feel violated… I explicably told him I did not want to hold his fucking hand because it means something to me & this guy has the audacity to not write to me ever again?! On Sunday with still no reply from him, I write “… Can I just ask, why did you even want to hold my hand so desperately?” I get nothing so on Monday after he sends me a snapchat of his outfit for ice skating & looks at my snapchat story, I say “You’re a strange unit. Best of luck. ”
So another fuck wit bites the dust… Since then he looks at every story I post on snapchat, as does Motocross – still to this day! Hahaha… What is with that?
I know that hand holding doesn’t mean as much to others as it does me, clearly because my friend thinks I am fucking hilarious how upset I am that I let my guard down & held his hand to just be ignored the next day! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.
I get that it might not be what he expected, but why ghost me? He didn’t have to message me at 12:30 am to say he had a good time if he didn’t. That would have been the perfect time to ghost me… Men are so weird, I have no idea how to decipher this one…!
Another friend thinks he was pissed off I didn’t write back immediately or that I didn’t say sorry for the next day reply… But really?! Is he that childish & needy?
What do you think happened here?!