Noodle #29

I ask Noodle if he’d actually be able to fuck me in the mornings after one of our evening sessions, he says that he’d be capable but would struggle “At one point when my partner was trying for a baby I was getting sex every day between you & her. I did alright haha. My sex drive isn’t what is used to be. I don’t masturbate every morning when I get up & every night before I go to bed like I use too tho. I’m sure if you sucked it, I could keep up” I am still paranoid that we have boring couple sex now “Guess it wouldn’t always be boring couple sex with me so you might want it more… Or if you got home from work one day thinking it’s just a normal night & there I am in lingerie” Then he says it… His words are meant as a compliment but then hit me like 1000 knives being thrown at me “One day you’ll make a man a fucking awesome wife haha” What the actual fuck Noodle! & why when he said it, do I automatically wish he was the husband that is so lucky to have me? I am silent for a while I compose myself. I have never really thought about being married before, so where did this fucking though come from? Even with Boyfriend, we bought a house but I never envisaged marrying him! “I have this feeling we’ll lose contact one day but then in our 40’s or 50’s one of us won’t be so stubborn to contact the other just to see what’s happening… And we’ll start fucking again.” I do think that as much as I am getting some sort of feelings so this guy, this isn’t our time. I don’t feel like they will break up & if they do, he won’t be able to date me seriously… If I really feel this why, what am I do? Why am I giving this guy the best of me?

Noodle Wife written dude cant read.png

I try to lighten the mood by telling him off for giving me a hickey, he says he didn’t even kiss my neck, but only remembers me sucking his cock. Well of course he’d day that, but he did bite my neck & I bruise so easily. He tells me that I should be a good little mistress & suck his cock weekly, I say “You get emotional when you don’t get a weekly BJ.” He replies “My slutty mistress should be sucking my cock once a week. She’s a good girl & gets out of bed & drives all the way to see me & suck my cock good then swallows all my cum” I tell him that I can’t let him get bored of me & he says “Oh I’m no where no bored of you. Just wanna fuck you more lately” Well at least now I know he does want me! Hahaha.

Noodle tells me that he has holidays coming up again for his brothers wedding & it will also be his birthday. Wow, I didn’t even think about his birthday to be honest. I am excited to try & see him on his birthday for a good cock sucking & some hot sex, probably in the car being his birthday is on a Sunday, but I’m hoping he can go to the gym & I can go meet him. It’s also about this time that Noodle tells me he’s going to buy me a Christmas present… WHAT THE ACTUAL FACTUAL FUCK! Does this mean I have to get him something? What the fuck can I buy him? I mean I’d love to see him in some Calvin Klein boxer briefs or smelling amazing in some Jean Paul Gaultier but how the fuck would he explain that to his partner… I need to think of something that he doesn’t have to take home… What the hell could I buy him? Shit… I hate the pressure of buying presents… Why is he buying me a gift? How much is he going to spend? I’m assuming it’ll be some sort of sex toy maybe, what the fuck will he buy me? SHIT.

The next Tuesday night, I go to the gym as I haven’t heard from him when he messages “Did you not go to the gym tonight?” I reply “Yeah was at the gym” I assume he’s going to bail “Out of work late. Heading to yours now.” I say that I’m almost home anyway when I get his reply “I want you to be naked & tied up by the time I get there. Ready for a hard quick fuck like a good little slut” Jesus I get wet as fuck from that. I reply “Yes Sir” & start freaking out… How will he want me tied, front or back? I don’t want to mess this up, I don’t want to disappoint him either! I highly doubt that he’ll ever be disappointed but you know what I mean.

Noodle gets to my house, I have tied myself to the x restraints by my ankles & have left my arms out for him to tie up, he walks in making a lot of noise & is in my bedroom making that manly sound that I know I have pleased him. He’s naked then kisses all up my body, clipping my hands in when he slides in from behind me, so wet already, this is just insane, but I know he doesn’t have a lot of time. He does exactly what he say, fucks me hard like a good little slut then has to go. Even though I loved it & he messaged me straight afterwards, I felt a little used & disappointed. But his messages seem to pick up on my mood & he spends a lot more time talking to me when he gets home, it’s not really sexy talk, just about shit of the day. Stuff we usually get time to talk about on a Tuesday night afterwards but tonight we missed out on it.

Chatting though Noodle & I start to argue about me flirting online with some douche in the group, probably Holden to be honest “No you single him out & flirted with him. As the loser dude fucking you with a crush on you, I notice these things” OMG he has a crush on me? Hahaha… that’s so cute but fuck I am not flirting to make him jealous! “Hahaha, you are a major loser, but that makes me smile!” I can’t help but laugh at that. We’re in this so deep & he is jealous of me flirting – like honestly! “You can’t talk you got so jealous of my flirting with Destiny” Yeah he’s right, I did get jealous of him flirting with her, she was a southerner too & everyone was really into her, I thought he had gone there already by the way they talked. I have already admitted I was jealous of her & hated her just because she was chatting to him, she was probably a lovely person, but I will never know. “I never said I didn’t. I admitted that. So fuck you” Hahaha. “Eh & I like it some sort of fucked up way” Yeah I bet he did, made him feel good that I actually care about him. “Yeah I’m a jealous creature. Especially when you don’t have unlimited spare time.. & I’m not ready to end this, I don’t want you to either.” I think that surprises him “So you don’t want to make me jealous either?” Of course I don’t. “I don’t want to make you jealous… I kinda like it when you do get jealous but I don’t do things to make you jealous.” He agrees & says he doesn’t do things deliberately to make me jealous either, but like when I do get jealous…. I wonder “It really surprises me how we got this far sometimes. Hahaha” We’re both so needy! He says it’s the mind blowing sex, which probably helped a lot!

The next morning Noodle says good morning as usual, then sends me a screenshot of some text messages with his partner. I’m not sure why or what the point is, I don’t want to look, but it’s like a train wreck, I can’t look away. I read it, of course, her message is at 8:00 am

“Y did you leave so early”

“Went to the gym, why?”

“R u sure ur not cheating, cos it will kill me if u r. If you don’t love me just tell me”

“OMG I went to the gym loser”

“Don’t call me a loser” then he sends her a screenshot of his gym application where it shows that he was actually at the gym! WOW… Just wow – fuck he’s lucky he was actually at the gym this morning & what the fuck is the issue now? He’s been getting up way earlier to fuck me sometimes, even being at my house at 5:30 am & she’s worried about him leaving to be at the gym at 7:00 am now. Maybe my paranoia about the having a lot of sex was right & he pulled away from me & now they’re not fucking as much, he’s putting in more effort with me that he’s pulling away from her? & we seem to have these weird eye contact moments now while having sex & cum together… I wonder if this will make Noodle back off again, being that he back off because he was busy but every time something happens with her, it doesn’t seem to make him back off, yet he says he does…

Clearly not because the next morning Noodle & I both have the day off & we’ve planned to spend most of the day together. I have something planned, when I bought my new first set of sexy lingerie, I bought a couple of things, so today, I am wearing the other set I bought & a slut choker that I bought for him. I send him a picture of the bra only it before he gets here & he tells me that he’s hard already. It makes me smile that a simple message from him telling me he’s hard for me when he is on his way, we’re really simple creatures.

He rocks up & I’m at the door waiting for him again, in lingerie & a face full of makeup, hair done nicely & with the choker on… As he walks towards me, he can see it but doesn’t realise what it is, until he touches it & I quiver, he smiles saying the word slut as he reads it on my choker. Asking me if I am his slut. I say yes. (This is seriously sounding like some lame mils & boons book!) & he’s naked rapidly taking me into the bedroom to fuck me for hours while he videos everything, mainly his cock going in & out of me, which I must say, I oddly like… I mean I don’t get to watch the angle he does obviously, so it’s good to see it. Lots of guys look at their cock while fucking you & now I get to see this angle too… I love it. He makes me cum multiple times before I ask him to fuck my tits. I know this turns him on & he always asks me what I get out of it. Well first of all, I have cum several times & as most women, I get very sensitive. I know he wants to keep fucking me but I sometimes get to a point I don’t think I can take anymore. So I’ll ask him to fuck something else, my mouth, ass or tits. I also like his cum on me, I sometimes don’t shower & sleep covered in it because he loves when I tell him I’m still covered in our cum. But also I love how turned on he gets when I ask him to fuck something else & he especially loves fucking my tits… I get turned on by how turned on he is. I mean I get really wet sucking his cock, which has never happened to me before & I don’t think it’s happened for him before either, because he always comments on how wet I get. Well maybe it’s because I’m so turned on. I remember a time when Noodle told me a women could get too wet & then there’s no friction for him. Well apparently I have proven that theory wrong, because now he tells me that there is no such thing as too wet, but he also tells me it’s probably because I’m so tight (yeah sorry, TMI to all my friends reading! Hahaha…) I’ve been told that by a few guys, so assuming it’s the no kids thing perhaps, I have no idea!

After he fucks my tits, I tie Noodle to the bed on my x restraints & tease him for a change. I like being a little dominant myself sometimes, I like to get a vibe out while he can’t touch me & make myself cum over & over while straddling him but not letting his cock inside me. It’s fucking tough, I mean I want his cock in me as much as he’s begging for it, but I don’t. I say “How you going there Champ” & giggle, kissing him a little, but he tries to pull away & says “Fuck you” I tell him that this is how he makes me feel when he ties me up & teases me. He looks me straight in the eye & says in the deep dominant voice that I usually obey “Just Fuck Me #IBD4U” I giggle & make myself cum again with a vibe on his lap before slowly sliding myself down his really hard cock. He moans says “Thank fuck for that” but I untie him so he can fuck me hard & deep, watching ourselves in the mirror. Fuck that’s really hot!


Noodle #28

Noodle & I start thinking about this intruder fantasy. I had given this some thought with Max, but that fell through – as everything did with him… Everything Noodle & I say about this scenario turns me on, the fact he wants me to call him prick & struggle under his touch. The fact I want him to call me names too, him telling me that he’ll fuck me like a dirty little slut. I say “I want this. How fucked up is that?” He says it’s not fucked up, it’s hot & it turns him on a lot. I tell him that unless I say the safeword Red, I am fair game. So even if I keep saying no or get off me etc, in any sexual scenario with Noodle, I don’t actually mean for him to stop. He tells me that more I struggle, the more turned on he gets & he thinks that’s fucked up… Maybe we’re both as fucked up as each other? We’ve done kinky stuff before but not like this. I ask what he’d do if I hit him & he said it’d turn him on more & he’d spank me back… (Remember this is a intruder fantasy, not that he is beating me or this is a domestic violent situation.)

We elaborate on this fantasy & turn each other on so much, even though we fucked this morning, that we’re virtually playing again with each other, cumming with sexting. I remind him that I didn’t shower after we fucked & I wore his cum all day, I even went out covered in him. He tells me it was hot that I actually asked for it & made him cum a lot quicker, he couldn’t hold it in after I asked, looking him in the eye. He says “Fuck me #IBD4U, you are fucking sexy fucking thing. & so fucking hot sometimes!” I think this is the time to reveal another fantasy I have… “Would you consider something else I’m a bit scared/embarrassed to ask… (Scared cos I’ve never done it before either)” He tells me that he’s open to anything… “Will you maybe slip my panties off after you’ve pulled them against my clit so they’re a little wet” I haven’t told you this, but he does that a lot, pulling them up against my clit as his kisses me, rather than using his fingers sometimes, it’s hot as fuck – teasing me with my own lacy panties. “& then poke them in my mouth (not too far) If I make too much noise” He says “That’s hot… I fucking love it I ask if it’s weird but he says “How is that much different to fingering you then forcing my fingers in your mouth” Well I guess it’s not, but this is actual gagging. I haven’t been gagged before, I am conscious of my jaw issues. I ask him if he’s ever done this before & he says “No, but I’ve done a lot of things to you I’ve never done before. Like the first time I was fucking you & started biting your nipples hard & your cunt got super wet. I was like fuck… She likes that!” Yeah, I agree… It is hot as fuck!

During the day on Sunday when he has time for me, I ask Noodle if he still has pictures of me & some video because I’m concerned that his partner will find them & he tells me that “They’re in a secret app, behind a hidden code & she’ll never find them” because I’m fucked if she does find them, my face, my tattoos are on there, I wouldn’t be hard to identify & so I tell him not to underestimate a woman who thinks her partner is cheating on her. He tells me that he doesn’t & that’s why he backs off sometimes. Ahhhh this, is what has been going on!!! “Ah so you’re not really busy…!!” He’s just feeling guilty, “Nope, I have been busy, but don’t wanna get caught. If I felt guilty I wouldn’t still be fucking you, would I?” Oh fuck, is this guy really that insensitive to not feel guilty at all? “If you’re backing off, then just fucking tell me, so I’m not waiting around like a fuckwit thinking about it all night, not getting any fucking sleep. Betcha you don’t miss a minute of anything thinking about me… You know with your busy life & all.” Do I just say this shit so he’ll respond the way I want? But he does, without prompting, “I do miss chatting to you & fucking you as much as I did” I can’t help but be a little crazy & I apologise for that, trying to be the cool relaxed chick that is ok with being a Mistress mid affair…. I don’t want to be the possessive weirdo that he decides is too hard work!

Noodle Chemisty Blowing up

Lying in bed that night, I feel better about us – finally! He is at the gym at 10:30 pm on Sunday night. My family comes over my house for dinner but once they leave, I get into bed ready to chat the night away with Noodle, usually involving a vibrator & some sexy texts & pictures. Tonight, I have a vibe in, while we’re teasing each other & he says that he’s semi hard at the gym, that I should come visit him & fuck in the car… I am out of bed in clothes, quicker than I care to admit at this suggestion. He tells me to leave the vibe in & meet him in the carpark, which I do!

He’s all sweaty from working out (the dude could’ve showered in the 20 minute drive I just had to take) but I kind of like that he’s all manly & sweaty, I suck his cock first thing & yeah his balls are sweaty, so much so that the lint from his boxers keep getting in my mouth, but I try not to kill the mood by picking lint out of my mouth. I still have the vibe in but once Noodle has had enough of me sucking his cock, knowing I will make him cum if he lets me, that he pulls the vibe out of me dripping wet & puts it in my mouth. We make eye contact even though its dark, I can tell he wants that connection, I want to too & I make a hmmm sound as he groans, while I lick the vibe, he controls himself not to cum & saying “Fuck” out loud. He fucks me hard, making me cum, then I suck his cock till he cums, letting him cum on my tits but also in my mouth, I clean up his cock once we’re done… Fuck are we becoming predictable? I guess not, we just fucked in a gym carpark! Hahaha.

I’ve barely even driven out of the carpark when we’re done before Noodle is messaging me “Sucking my sweaty cock in the gym carpark like a dirty sexy fucking whore. HOT” I smile, knowing that he’s not as stubborn as I am! I barely ever message him first after sex anymore! Hahaha… SUCKER! Noodle tells me that he’s unlocked my sexiness & he’s glad that he has. “You give me such amazing sex tho. Best thing I’ve ever done sexually in my life was to fuck you haha”

The next Tuesday night, Noodle comes over but only for 45 minutes before he’s dashing off to go fix his location back at his store before he goes home. I wonder if this is part of the reason why he was pulling away from me too? He was realising that it’s too much effort? Having to drive back & forth? Or is getting more sex from her? He says it’s not guilt, but I wonder if he is he feeling guilty & denying it? I am never going to admit this to him, but I am liking him a lot more than I should, could he be feeling the same way & concerned about how close we are? I am putting a lot out of my mind about my feelings for Noodle, I wonder if he’s doing the same? Fuck those feelings!

The following Saturday afternoon I do my grocery shopping, while chatting to Noodle while he’s at work & I am mega pissed off that they don’t have my protein milk or cauliflower pizza base at the store I shop at, meaning I will have to go somewhere else. But when Noodle invites me to visit him at lunch, I don’t even worry about whatever the store I’m at does or doesn’t have, I get my groceries & dash home. I drive as quick as I can to pick him up, he leaves his phone in the store when he comes out to meet me. I see him walking towards my car & wonder what the fuck he has in his hands, he gets in the car & kind of throws a litre of protein milk & a pizza base at me (probably because he wanted to get it for me, but feels a bit weird about it – I would do that too, buy the present then feel like an idiot giving it to him.) I feel weird about accepting it but I cannot believe how much I love that he did that for me. That was so sweet, this guy is sweet… He pretends he’s not, but he really is! I can’t believe he went to the effort of getting me the right milk & base that I use. I mean we talk about food a lot so he knows what I buy & it’s stuff he buys too, so it’s not weird, but fuck that was cute as fuck to buy me groceries… OMG, I am swooning! Jesus, get a grip, it’s just a few groceries!

We drive around finding a new spot at a school, apparently he’s ok with a school during the day as there is no security, there isn’t sports on today so we’re able to have the whole carpark to ourselves. Noodle & I get into the backseat & we’re fucking quicker than I care to admit, I mean I know I say that all the time, but it’s almost like I can’t get his dick inside me quick enough. I suck his dick too, I mean I can’t resit sucking it, he doesn’t even have to ask or force my head down there (unless he’s being Mr Dom) I just willingly suck it & really love it. Noodle gets me so wet that when he turns he lays be down on the backseat he fucks me easily, when he pulls out & slides into my ass, I make sure he knows it’s my ass, not only so he can go slow, but so he can enjoy it. When I tell him, he makes this noise, I wish I could explain it but it’s like a groan but a moan of pleasure, like he’s trying not to cum because he’s just heard the sexiest thing ever. I like anal this way, when we’re face to face, being able to kiss & him touch my tits at the same time… This is broad daylight, on a Saturday afternoon in the car & we’re having anal sex like there is no tomorrow. When we both cum, Noodle sits in the backseat panting, I can barely move having cum a couple of times in less than an hour. I realise I have nothing to wipe us both down (Note to self, must get baby wipes for the car!) I find a serviette & clean up his cock, which I know he likes me doing for him, usually with my mouth, but I am not putting it back in my mouth after where it’s been. I do have some hard limits! (I know that might be hard for you readers to believe, but I definitely have some limits! Scat – shit- is one of them!)

Noodle & I have talked limits & pretty much we have the same limits, he says that he doesn’t like blood at all, obviously as a women, period sex doesn’t bother me, but he tells me that he gets really annoyed when his partner tells him her period is over but then when he fucks her he gets blood on his cock. But it’s more a fear he has I think, he hates injections & is a real wuss when it comes to getting them, once when he had to get one, his partner didn’t go with him but gave him so much shit about it, I offered to be there for him because, fuck it’s a fear not something to joke about… But we agree that shit is a limit for both of us too, I can deal with a little during anal, because lets face it’s part of it, but I’ve heard of kinks where people do like to be shit on etc… Definitely not for us!


Mixed Bag #3 – Satin Sheets, Spinning Around & Brothers

Here is the third mixed bag. Hope you like these short stories!

After a discussion with my hairdresser who said to me the standard line I get from lots of people all the time on relationships “You’re too fussy”, I told her a few stories that I’ve posted on my blog, so then I asked her which one I should choose… She backtracked saying “Ok, maybe you’re not fussy.” Hahaha…

Here are some fine examples…

Satin Sheets

Young & hot at a nightclub dancing, singing, from having a great time with my friends, when my friend says she going home with some dude, I obviously have to go with her so but we went back to my friend’s guys house & there was a guy who lived with him, who came back with us too. When my friend goes off with her man in his bedroom, I’m stuck with the other man. I’m not really sure what to do. Not really sure what’s going to happen or if I should do anything or if I will, I am so drunk that if he makes a move, I probably would end up fucking him! Way to go…

He’s not really my type. He’s a bit older. I don’t really remember this night very well to be really honest with you. I think I remember that he had very thin blonde hair, because I remember trying to grab it but it feeling a bit greasy too. It’s probably the first night that I ever was given head, or maybe it’s just my first memory of it?

One thing I do remember very well is his black satin sheets. I’ll never forget that! Now I hadn’t fucked a lot of guys at this point in my life, maybe 2 or 3 & he was the first one to have fancy sheets, that I wondered if this was the norm. While it was a little bit sexy. It was also a little bit creepy. I mean who has black satin sheets, it was probably about 1999 – would this have even been a thing? Who has black sheets anyway? Yeah, this guy!

He goes down on me & I can remember it being a little bit awkward, with me not really knowing how its supposed to feel or what’s supposed to happen. I obviously don’t remember a lot, I know we had sex & I go home with my friend shortly after we’re done… What a fucking weird night!

Spinning Around

Many moons ago, I used to go out every weekend. I was probably about 18 years old, we’d go to one club on a Thursday night. I finish work at 9:00 pm. Go straight home, get ready & be down there, drunk by 10:00 pm. On Friday nights went to the other club next door & then on Saturday nights the club next door to that. It was like a little club precinct.

So this time in my life, I am pretty much just constantly drunk, I could be drunk at like 9:00 pm sometimes, but I never even making it into the night club, because I got so drunk before! Classy

I even got to the club once but with too many pre drinks, I wasn’t allowed in & was unable to walk! I was one of those messy drunks, constantly vomiting or acting like a complete annoying idiot. But I never cause a fuss too much, expect for those trying to take me home, I’d call them names or something, but I never fought them. Most of the time I realised I was too drunk to function.

I then met this guy one Saturday night & we’re dancing on the dance floor. Because I am drunk, I am all sexy (or trying to be) so bumping & grinding, with this dude. We’re dancing & singing the song by Kylie Minogue ‘Spinning Around’ – here’s the link to it

& so I’m drunk & I’m start spinning around as she sings ‘I’m spinning around, move out of my way,’ so I’m dancing like no one’s watching. I’m just like totally into this guy, just dancing singing being a complete idiot when there’s a part in the the song that goes ‘do you like what you see’ & he says ‘Hell yeah.’ with a huge grin on his face.

I’m totally in with this guy, so I’m dancing even more bumping & grinding hard. We’re dancing close, when I feel him unzip my dress. WTF. I’m wearing this cute little black dress. I still have it in fact & it never goes out to fashion as a little black dress. It has spaghetti straps, straight across the bust, long zip at the back. Just a really cute dress from the Miss Shop when it was around at Myer.

Anyway this dude has unzipped it on the dance floor! Why would you unzip my dress? He kind of just says that he doesn’t really know why & didn’t really have an answer. I literally walk away from him immediately thinking what the actual fuck just happened. But yes, it happened to me. Why would somebody unzip my dress on the goddamn dance floor? What is wrong with people?

Drunk Fairytale Lost shoe.png


When I was about 15, I got my first job & met some new people. I became friends with a chick who’s brother I had a massive crush on. I have no idea why, I don’t know blonde hair, blue eyes – was 100% my thing. He worked with me & was always funny, always really sweet to me, maybe because I was his kid sisters friend.

I used to go out every Saturday night to a local club with all my friends, this friend didn’t come out as often & it was really rare that her brother came to this club. But one night, he was there – drunker than I’d ever seen him, in fact I don’t remember ever seeing him drunk at all!

He & I were really drunk & somehow ended up on the dancefloor together. We’re dancing bumping & grinding as I did in those days, when we kiss, not sure who made the first move, but we were so close together it was inevitable. I feel like all my dreams have come true that this guy is kissing me, this guy is dancing with me & I think my fairytale will begin! Yet somehow we end up going home separately.

Little bit awkward, you know it’s kind of the unspoken kiss with your friends brother that you work with, who you can’t actually be with because of some reason. I don’t know what & I’m obviously just assuming here because I never asked, but he just wasn’t into me.

So then, years later at my friend’s house for her birthday party. He’s there, her brother I kissed. He’s being DJ for the night. I ask him constantly to put on Intergalactic by The Beastie Boys (here’s the link to that song!

He kept saying to me that he’s already put it on twice. Nobody wants to hear it as much as I do, obviously so I try to find something else to talk to him about.

I don’t know whether I wanted the song because I thought it would make me look cool or what, but it wasn’t a song I had bought on CD or as a CD single, I just had heard it, knew a few words & wanted it on. I was that annoying drunk pestering people. Jeez I really am glad I don’t drink like that anymore. The party kind of clears out & my friends other brother walks in who’s older than the first brother. We were talking & chatting, I’m friends with them too, I guess in a way, especially the one I kissed because we work together. But somehow this other brother & I end up on the couch kissing. I’m sitting on his lap, straddling him, kissing him! Nobody else is in the room. I don’t really understand how this is happening, but how drunk am I that I kissed her other brother anyway?

I don’t see either of her brothers much after that to be honest, it’s even more awkward when I do see the one I liked, but I just play it cool, what else can I do? At this point, I’m still really good friends with the girl, but yeah, I’m trying to avoid both her brother’s now. I mean, I even used to pick up this chick every week from her house for work & drop her home, because her brother would come out & chat to me sometimes if he was coming or going. I always thought it was because he liked me, like he knew what time I picked her up & dropped her off & he was often outside loitering, then would come up to my car window to chat to me. But clearly after the kiss. It’s not true.

Anyway all of them are married now, all with kids, The one I liked lives overseas, the other brother I think lives interstate & they’ve all got kids, yet here I sit, still here writing this blog…

What do you think of these guys?


Noodle #27

It’s been a few hours when I finally look at Noodle’s reply “Sorry but I have to actually do work at work. I do try & fit you in as much as I can. I’ve got a lot going on at the moment. I have missed fucking you this week tho” Fucking hell, I hate when guys trivialise your feelings by saying how much they’ve got going on. At least he says that he’s missed fucking me! But let’s look at this – I am currently working full time in a job that requires a lot of extra hours, I gym 3 to 4 times a week, drive an hour to & from work every day, travel for work with overnight stays & to top it off, I am now doing fucking jury duty! “I’m sure you could’ve if you really wanted too… Oh but you don’t fuck me in the mornings anymore. Forgot about that!” Noodle plays the game & takes hours to write back to me. God he’s a fuckwit. “I do but been starting early for work, should be able to pull back on that now tho. & I can fake my location in the mornings now. Just gotta get up super early cos work so far away.” So something new Noodle has worked out a way to fake his location again. He’s using an old iPhone, that he used to use & hasn’t had the recent update which stopped him from being able to fake his location on his phone, so he uses the old one to fake his location. He then turns off his location on his phone, switches over to the old phone & fakes to location… Oh my fucking god, this is as lot of effort! This guy is going to realise, I’m not worth it soon… (Fuck I need to work on my self-esteem!) This guy should be going to this effort because I am worth it…. FUCK… hahaha…

Another interesting thing that’s recently happens is that Noodle has told his PT about me… It’s the first & only person Noodle has told his secret too, he seems comfortable with him, which is good & I wonder if they’re becoming friends so he can use him as an alibi in the future? However when he’s late home, because he’s talking to the PT (probably about me) she apparently calls & texts him to find out where he is. I couldn’t imagine living like that, constantly needing to know where my partner is. & it makes me wonder, is this normal? Anyway, I am secretly smug that Noodle has finally let it slip to someone he knows that he’s having an affair. He needs someone to talk to about this, I want him to talk to someone about this, because someone needs to knock some sense into us, either be together or end it…

The next Tuesday night that I see Noodle, I don’t have to pick him up because of the old iPhone faking his location. But he still only stays at my house an hour, telling me that he drives all the way back to his store to change his location back then drives home… What a waste of fucking time, time that he could be fucking me (if you got the double meaning there! Hahaha.) He showers at my house as its become his usual thing, he leave my house kissing me goodbye & then messages me later with all capitals FUCK.” I’m like what happened? He tells me that his partner asked why his hair was wet… Well why did he wet his hair in my shower to start with & why isn’t it dry with the drive? I ask what he told her & he just told her that he was sweaty. She didn’t suspect anything, it is the end of November so it is hot, so the sweat is a viable lie. She buys it & he’s in the clear. OMG, this is getting more & more risky every day! It almost makes me wonder sometimes when she finds out, how will that go down? Will she find us together or will she find my pictures om his phone? Will she leave him? What will happen?

Noodle is always up before me, especially now, he doesn’t message me first almost every like he used too. I know we have the agreement to take turns & we did but then we evolved to just whoever was up first would message. But Noodle has gone back to taking it in turns, I wonder if this is a thing Noodle is doing to test me, to see if I am interested in him (because remember that’s why he doesn’t message people first) or is he genuinely busy at work & with family or is he doing the guy thing – acting distant before they ghost you.

So I say good morning & “I miss your cock fucking me awake in the mornings” He takes 20 minutes to reply, I know he’s already at work. “It does like fucking you in the mornings” I am a bit sassy this morning “Oh does it? Could’ve fooled me… Hasn’t happened for like 8 weeks!” I await his reply, knowing it’ll be something about being so busy & I will get so angry! I know… “A lot of stuff going on at work lately! Doesn’t mean I don’t miss your tight wet cunt in the mornings!” that’s all we speak, then I don’t get a message from him till the Saturday afternoon at 3:30 pm that says “Morning, Busy ass morning. Bros bucks day today… was at the gun range at 10am haha” I refuse to write back. I mean he’s a fucking wanker. He could’ve messaged me a million times before 10:00 am, in the shower, on the toilet, while making breakfast, before he got to the gun range. He used to make so much time to message me, even sometimes when he was sitting next to her on the couch, he’d risk messaging me. At 10:20 pm, I write to him “Morning” & I don’t get a reply, I put my phone down & refuse to look at it. The next day, I’m outside painting my roller door, it’s a pain in the ass to paint metal with a paint brush & at 9:00 am, he replies asking why I said morning at 10:00 pm at night. I just say “I had a super busy day. No time to message” he tries to make a joke that I always say “Oh that old chestnut.” I am fuming so I say “I’m painting so I’ll talk to you when I’m not busy. See I can do 2 things ar once. But since you are so busy, I will let you get back to your busy schedule” I put my phone in my pocket & paint. What fucks me off, is that I am not like this at all, I can message him while I’m painting, I know she’s asleep & he has time, but fuck him. I am not going to make an effort anymore. He says “Hmmm, have fun paining, I guess….” I don’t read it for ages.

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At 11:00 pm that night, he hasn’t come back online, again & I snap “What is going on with you Noodle? And if you say the word ‘busy’ I will rip your beard off hair by hair with tweezers. This week you’ve come back online twice… Only twice after your partner has gone to bed. What am I supposed to make of that, you say you don’t want this to end but you’ve changed the game & I am certainly not hanging around for you to formally ghost me, so just tell me now.” I don’t sleep a wink all night waiting for him to come back online & reply, but he doesn’t. at 7:30 am the next day I finally get a reply. “I’m not planning on ghosting you, was just tired as fuck from sat night. I do wanna come back online more. I’ve only gone to the gym twice in the last week (PT only) so that’s how busy I’ve been. You got your tweezers ready?” It’s now or never, I have to get it out, I can’t have this conversation face to face because I never see him, this isn’t ideal “Well you’re making me feel invisible & insignificant. I can’t go on like this Noodle, I’ve had like 3 hrs sleep cos I can’t stop thinking about it. The thing upsetting me the most is that I had things to tell you this weekend, that I was excited about & I realised that you don’t even consider our friendship like I do.” I don’t think he knows what to say to that “Well I could of chatted more on Sunday but you gave me the vibe you didn’t want to chat so I backed off” Fucking hell, men are so stupid. “Because I was busy painting! When you’re busy I don’t even get a message at all!!!! But I’m supposed to drop everything when you’re free?!” Why am I bothering? He doesn’t get it, he never gets it. “No you can be busy, just saying if you wanted to chat on the weekend, we had a chance. Your not gonna believe me probably but I do value our friendship” Nope, I don’t believe that at all. “Yeah right now, I don’t believe that for a second. I used too… & your basically saying it’s my fault we haven’t chatted all weekend, because the 1 time you were free I didn’t chat… Bullshit. You haven’t talked to me all week… & 1 of the 2 nights you did come back online, you took over 10 minutes to reply to each message. I’m not making this up” This isn’t in my fucking head… “Not saying it’s your fault, just saying there was an opportunity. & I’ve had a lot of work to take home this week. I still reply” Yeah I guess he does, but I take work home & still reply, I snap (yet again!) “Do you want me to see other people?” I expect the response to be ‘part of the deal’ or ‘I’ll live’ but he says “If you need too, that’s up to you” That’s not what I asked to which he replies “No I don’t but that shouldn’t matter either way to you or me” Well at least I know that he still wants me “No it doesn’t. I’ll do what I want but I needed something from you… At least to know that’s not your game here… Piss me off so I leave you cos you’re feeling guilty. Or some fucked up Noodle bullshit…” Noodle tried to lighten the mood, which I appreciate because I hate feeling like this “I have more fucked up thoughts about you. They involve cum on your tits… ass… face. No I don’t want to piss you off” I tell him that I came last night & twice this morning with a new fantasy but refused to tell him what it was as I plan to do it when I see him, but I assume not Tuesday night “Ahh yeah about tomorrow I’m working the morning now so yeah won’t be available tomorrow night. My other manger is still on holiday & the guy I put on can’t do it. My week is fucked this week. Wanna sneak you in this morning towards the end of the week tho” OMG… “When were you planning on telling me? Or just wasn’t going to talk to me all day?” He says that he was going to tell me, but I highly doubt he would. I tell him that I’m a very simple creature all he has to do is fuck me regularly & he wouldn’t have any problems with me.

Things are back to our sort of normal, he’s chatting to me more regularly than he was, it’s either that his partner has stopped fucking him or my little meltdown reminded him how fragile this is & how easy it is for me to walk away (I wish that were true, then I wouldn’t be up to Noodle #27!) I am at jury duty & we get told that we have a long break, I tell Noodle this & he tells me to come see him at work for some lunchtime fun… In the middle of a week day, I think fuck yes & drive to his work. I pick him up & drive to the place we fucked before, it’s secluded & easy to find. We fuck quickly, both cumming & feeling satisfied before we both have to go back to work.

The next day, it’s December, Noodle finally says he’s going to come over & fuck me in the morning, I have missed this so much! I leave a key under my mat for him & wait for him to come over. We’ve talked about Noodle having a key for my house, I had given Max a key at one point for an intruder type fantasy, but Max never used the key. The key Max had is always used for my house sitter & I didn’t want Noodle to have the key someone else had, so a week ago – pre empting this exchange, I went to have keys cut – keys cut for him. Stupidly because green is my favourite colour, I get the keys cut in green keys. These will stand out if Noodle takes them, which I didn’t think about till afterwards. But when I tell Noodle to keep them he says he has a million keys & she won’t notice. Well, I hope not!

Noodle fucks me in the morning, sneaking into my bed at 7:00 am. Afterwards I ask him if he kept my key & he says yes, I ask him if he’s going to use it for my intruder fantasy & he says yes. I don’t really think it’ll happen – I’m not sure when he’ll be able to surprise me to be honest, but we go into detail about how this this go down…


Noodle #26

This is the time to end it… Noodle is being a weirdo, he’s obviously getting what he wants from his partner, his new job is now a priority over me… I mean I knew what I signed up for when I started seeing him, I knew how stupid it was to only fuck one guy but I did it anyway. I knew that I would always be behind his family, but I never thought I would be a priority behind sleeping & his work! He always says that he hates sleeping that he doesn’t do it a lot & that’s true, I’m not sleeping much trying to stay awake to talk to him… But now I’m not sleeping because I’m too busy overthinking all the fucking reasons why he’s not talking to me!

Of course, I don’t fucking end it, for all those hoping that I did, I should because this is a perfect time, but fuck knows why I am so drawn to this man that I don’t. I do however, change my profile picture, I have just had my nieces christening – where I am god mother (Surely the church will burst into flames when I walk in?) & I bought a dress for it, a dress that I almost didn’t buy but, it’s a cute dress & fits me well, it’s short sleeves, short (too short for church!) & hugs my hour glass shape. I wear high blue heels & some navy jewellery. I take a picture before I go out, but Noodle isn’t chatting to me, so he doesn’t see the picture & I make it my profile picture. Everyone comments! All the guys drool over it, I don’t even know why, I honestly almost didn’t buy this dress but I guess I do look good in it! When Noodle does finally talk to me he says “You look cute as fuck in that white dress” Later he tells me that he wants to fuck me in this dress… I don’t tell him that I have been getting private messages saying the same… People are saying in the group, so he knows, but I never tell him I also got private messages. I just can’t deal with the jealously right now.

Noodle talks to me more through the week, things are better, I feel better about us… I am not going to end it, as much as I should… I mean I don’t want to end it, I really don’t. This is the best sex of my life, I have never felt like this before, I can’t get enough of him, which I guess is part of the reason I’m so sad that he’s changed the dynamic, is he had enough of me & I’ll be discarded?

Noodle tells me that his partner isn’t going to be home Friday night & that he wants to fuck me at his house. WTF?! This isn’t a good idea… He explains to me that she’s in a wedding the next day & so she’s staying with the bride & he’ll be home alone except for his son. He wants me to come over once he’s asleep… The idea of this excites me but also scares me. What happens if she comes home or the kid wakes up? I really want to see how & where Noodle lives… But I mean this is overstepping the boundary. I only tell my sister about this & she tells me not to go, but I am in the car typing his address into my GPS when I get her warning. The whole way to his house, I get messages saying not to park in his driveway (as if I was going too) & not to park to close to his house… Fucking hell, why does he even want me to come over if there are so many parking rules.

I pull up a little down the street & tell him that I am there, I notice his overgrown garden, bushes & trees that are covering his house completely. I walk down the gravel driveway trying not to make noise, but of course that’s impossible in my Havaianas on gravel. I see both their cars in the driveway, his is at the back, so at least I know she doesn’t have a car to pop back home to see if he’s cheating. Again, I’m surprised about her. Surprised by the type of car she drives. To be honest, everything about this woman surprises me, she’s not at all like I imagine, I’m not sure why that is… Maybe the way Noodle describes her, or the way I imagine her to be. I am so intrigued about their house.

I walk in & he’s kissing me straight away so I don’t get much time to look around. We fuck on the armchair closest to the door before we move to relax on the couch. Noodle turns on some YouTube thing that he’s been watching, which is a Chester Bennington fundraiser concert, (Chester is from Linkin Park who killed himself a few months ago) We watch it together naked before I see a light switch on outside & I just up behind the curtain, he asks me what I’m doing & I have no fucking idea! He’s laughing & I say what the fuck turned on the outside light & he said probably one of their cats. I freak out so much, that I make him check the apple stalker app to see where she is. She’s safely at her friends, well her phone is at least!

My heart stops racing before I am rubbing Noodles leg & then sitting between his legs, sucking his cock. Before he cums, he picks me up & turns me around his couch so I am facing their kitchen, their house is quite messy, untidy, full of shit really, just as I suspected there is stuff everywhere, nothing like my house but there are 3 living here & it’s quite small. But I don’t have much time to look around before he is slipping into me from behind, as he pulls out, I’m not sure if he means too but he’s fucking my ass, quite hard. I move my hand to rub my clit (which helps loosen you up a little if it’s hurting a bit) & I tell him that he’s fucking my ass, he makes this grunting noise & cums pretty hard. I Can’t believe he just fucked my ass on his couch!

I stay for a while, I know he wants me to stay, we’re talked about it but it’s not a good idea. I sit there naked for a while before I start getting tired & I slowly get dressed, he keeps interrupting me to kiss me or touch me. I think if he leads me to their bedroom, I will fucking cave & stay the night. He doesn’t & I don’t… I get in the car, feeling this weird feeling of happiness that I got a few hours of just Noodle hanging out & being Noodle in his environment for a change & this feeling of sadness about the fact I’m driving away.

On the way home, I see a message from Noodle saying that he wishes I stayed over. We chat for a bit when I get home & I say that I wish I stayed over too, but we both know that’s not a good idea, with his son etc. As much as we want it, we really crossed a line tonight… I reckon this is one of the worst things I have ever done… It’s the worst thing I have done to another woman, that’s for sure! Fuck, though, I really want to find a time when I can sleep with this guy all night, actually sleep lying in his arms!

The next day, Noodle is getting ready for the wedding, he’s also getting his son ready & he sends me pics of the 2 of them pulling faces & smiling in their suits. Fuck Noodle looks hot, I’m reminded of him in this suit fucking me at my house only a few weeks ago… & somehow seeing him with his son, like that actually makes me like him more.

The next day he sends me pictures of him at the wedding & he’s in his suit but wearing white air Jordan sneakers. I look at the picture for a minute before I realise I’ve also never seen him in sunglasses, he looks literally like a model, he’s fucking sexy as fuck! Jesus Christ, I think that look is hot & I tell him so but he tells me that his partner had a massive go at him for wearing sneakers to a wedding. I actually think he looks really good & she should be happy that she’s with the hottest guy at the wedding!

Noodle is now at his new store Tuesday, it’s our regular day to fuck tonight, it might be hard for him to work it out being that this is a brand new store – well he’s been there a few weeks now, but I’m sure he’ll be keen to fuck me, so I don’t worry too much. I get the regular good morning message, I reply with morning & then all day, yes all day he doesn’t reply at all! He doesn’t even read my message. ALL DAY! All fucking day I wait, I refuse to message him, I don’t chat in the groups because I don’t want him to see that I’ve been online. FUCK. I know what is happening here. He can’t come over tonight, so instead of having a conversation with me, he just ignores me. This is the first time that Noodle has ignored me. Why is he ignoring me? Max has ignored me before, even Rob Rob has ignored me after chickening out on meeting me. But Noodle has always had a conversation with me, always been honest.

This is fucked… at 6:20pm that night I send a picture in sexy lingerie & say “I wore this to work today. Was going to skip gym & be on my keens when you got to my house waiting to suck your cock… Pity I’m not worth a measly conversation anymore…” He reads it almost instantly & replies “OMG you are worth a convo. Fuck me you look hot. I have had a legit busy day”

OMG, if I hear busy one more time from anyone, I will strangle a man! “You’ve been pulling away for weeks & now that your clearly not going to see me tonight just sends the message that you want me to end this…” AM I INSANE?! OMG, what am I even doing? I mean he has been weird for weeks, but I mean he doesn’t want to fuck me once & I start writing him off?! JESUS, no wonder I’m single! I have to wait hours for him to even read that message. Fucking prick. I send him a final message at 11:30 pm before I go to sleep “Message received Noodle, loud & clear.”Noodle lying differentThe next morning I have calmed down a bit & he hasn’t looked at my message, so I message him & say good morning with a question mark. 3 hours later he finally replies… what the fuck is going on with this guy. He’s now acting like every other guy on the planet. “Morning, no don’t want to end anything! Had to go to bed early last night. Got up at 4am, had to start early cos I got a docs appointment at 2pm today.” Well, why not tell me that yesterday? He always finds time to message me, what’s the big deal here? “Yeah I had to be up early too Noodle, but I haven’t slept a wink cos you are being weird lately & I can’t stop thinking about it” he asks how he’s being weird. “I know your response to everything I’ll say… but I can’t help the way I feel” he tells me that the lead up to Christmas is busy for him, like I didn’t already know that having worked in retail, “I know you’re busy, That’s what you say all the time… But lately you read my messages then never reply & don’t come back online at night… I’m fucking busy too, not that  you’d even know, but I always make time. You used to too…” he tells me that he does make time for me & comes back on most nights. “Not as much as you used too… it’s not in my head, don’t make me feel like it is” He’s that he wasn’t implying it’s all in my head & that he messages me as much as he can. “You had no intentions of seeing me Tuesday night I thought about it all day , I had back to back meetings & was finalise a big project & you wrote one message to me… But you’re being totally honest?!” he’s not being honest with me, as much as he says that he is “I thought about it all day just wasn’t sure how I was going to tell you cos I know it would piss you off” Oh right, so instead of telling me you can’t see me, you ignore me all day? Fuck men are so stupid! I tell him “You’re not the only ones who’s busy Noodle… I won’t bother trying to fit you into my day anymore.” He starts writing back straight away but I refuse to read it. I put my phone down & ignore the stupid app…


Noodle #25

Well I feel fucking shit! Even though I know I shouldn’t. (If you didn’t already Orbit yet, then I suggest you go back & read it before you read this… It’ll make more sense – there is lots of Noodle references.) I make the decision not to tell anyone about Orbit – I never told Noodle I was chatting to him, so what’s the point in telling him that I had terrible sex with him. I don’t want to tell anyone at all, I don’t tell any of my friends even, because then it makes it real. That post was the only time I’ve ever talked about Orbit.

But I refuse to tell Noodle what I have done! I’m single, I shouldn’t feel bad about this, but I do! Why? Is it because the sex wasn’t that great? Is it because I have feelings for Noodle? Why do I feel so shit about this? I guess, if I tell anyone about this, then I also have to explain to them, that I am not as loyal as I thought I was… I used to value my loyalty, this is a core value of mine, that at the first sign of trouble, I throw it out the window… I hate that more than fucking another man.

The next morning, I wake up to a message from Noodle saying the usual good morning & sorry that he fell asleep last night. We talk as usual, I am feeling so ridiculous. Noodle just says that he fell asleep last night & of course my mind wanders… His partner is pregnant, probably about 3 or 4 months now & I hear this is the time that women get really horny. I am certain that when he “falls” asleep, that he’s gone to bed with her to fuck her & then just fallen asleep…

The thing that annoys me most about him “falling asleep” than him not saying goodnight to me, is that he’s not ever in bed when he’s chatting to me. He has to get up off the couch & walk to the bedroom. If I ever fall asleep on him & not say goodnight, my phone is literally in my hand when I wake up, having genuinely fallen asleep while typing. Not actively getting up & going to bed without saying goodnight. This is why I think that he’s fucking his partner on these nights & to spare my feelings, he just says he’s fallen asleep. I get that he’s living a double life here, but I hate that it’s always at my expense but I guess to use Noodle’s words, it’s all part of the deal!

I do believe Noodle when he tells me that he has been working hard lately, I know what his job entails having worked retail myself for many many years when I was in my teens & 20’s. He’s also in a new store that needs fixing, so I also get that. I actually admire Noodle’s work ethic a lot, I’ve told him this before & he’s told me that his partner hates that about him. Really? I mean would she rather a dude sit at home on government benefits?

It’s been a few day since I fucked Orbit & a week since I saw last saw Noodle. It’s Tuesday night, our usual night, I am waiting for Noodle to bail but he starts arranging what we’ll do tonight an hour before he finishes work, that I feel much better… He asks me to pick him up from his work so he can leave his phone in the car in the work car park. So I skip the gym & head to Noodle’s work to pick him up at 7:00 pm. He moves his car to the front of the store & leaves him phone behind, getting in my car to go back to my house. We walk into my house, it’s Halloween & I am a little worried that we’ll have some trick or treaters & interrupt us, so I don’t turn on any lights in the front of the house. We make it to the kitchen before Noodle is behind me, grabbing my tits & lifting my dress up. He bends me over the kitchen bench & fingers me from behind, before picking me up & putting me on the bench. He goes down on me, making me cum again as I’m hanging off the bench. Once I’m done, he’s not done with me, he slides me further off the bench so he can fuck me. Well this is a first fucking on the kitchen bench, we’re ticking off the christening of all the rooms in my house! This is what sex should be like – passionate, hot & sexy…

Of course I cum again while Noodle is fucking me, but he doesn’t cum, he helps me off the bench & pushes me down on my knees to suck his cock, I am totally into this, I forget how weird he’s been with me & just enjoy his dominant side. Noodle wants to cum on my face, I’ve always been ok with cum everywhere else but I’m not sure about it on my face, but I kneel there in front of him while he rubs his cock so he cums on me. It gets in my hair & in my eye a little, but I don’t even have time to worry about it, because Noodle is pulling me up & bending me over the bench. He slides in from behind me & grabs my boobs using them to help him pound me hard. I have cum in my eye so I use my phone to look at myself in the selfie camera. I take a couple of snaps of us & while they’re a bit blurry & dark, it is pretty much the only photo I have of us together, of our faces at least. I have a million photos of our genitals together, of him, of me, but there is a shit bath photo of us from when we first started seeing each other, but this is the first one where you can tell it’s us & he actually looked at the camera with me. I treasure that photo, even if we look kind of weird, because he’s fucking me, there’s cum on my face, but he obviously wanted to have a photo with me, because he poses a little.

Noodle doesn’t cum again, but I do! Afterwards I do wipe my face, we both get dressed & he says we better go back to his work. On the way back to his work, I tell him that I have cum in my eyelashes & he says “Lucky they’re not fake” & laughs. I laugh too thinking, is he serious? Does he not realise that I get eyelash extensions? I wish these were real! I tell him that they are fake & he says he has no idea about that kind of stuff.

I pull up at his car, he jumps out but leaves my car the door open & gets his phone, he says there’s no messages, puts his phone back in his car & gets back in my car – that was kind of unexpected. I mean don’t get me wrong, I was a bit sad that we only had a short time together but I thought he would have to go, however he says to go for a drive somewhere because he doesn’t “finish” work until 9:00 pm, so he has another hour to spend with me. We drive around a suburb I used to work in, so I know the backstreets, I find a place to park. I doubt he’ll cum again but I definitely can & do! I ride him in the car, in the front seat, steaming up the car, so we could have a titanic style hand mark on the window… Hahaha.

I hate dropping him back at the car & having to leave him, but I don’t know why I am excited for him to follow me home… My exit on the expressway is before his, so he’ll drive past me, will he flash his lights or beep or wave at me? I’m very intrigued to know. However, only a few minutes down the road he pulls into the petrol station & I keep driving on. I don’t know why that makes me a little sad… Hahaha!

After I get home from dropping Noodle back at his car, I notice my dishwasher, which is black, has a white long drip of something all the way down it. I have a flash back to Noodle cumming on my face, the dishwasher was the backdrop. It’s Noodle’s cum!! I take a picture & send it to him, showing him that it’s his cum, what a dirty reminder of what just occurred at my house!

Noodle tells me “You make me hard a lot. I’m like hard just at the thought of fucking you before I walk into your house haha.” Fuck really? I tell him that makes me feel pretty good, I mean I wouldn’t expect that someone would be hard in the car before walking into my house. I mean I am always turned on thinking about him on his way to my house, I like that he has the same feeling.

This is also the time that, I get called for jury duty! Not only is work crazy for me, the added bullshit of having to do jury duty is fucked… They apparently message you a day before if you’re needed or not. That doesn’t really work with my job, looking back, I should’ve taken the whole month off, however I don’t & just constantly reschedule things are they arise.

The following Tuesday night is the next time I see Noodle, it’s gone from every few days to once a week… He’s been chatting a bit more, not as much of course as he has done in the past but it’s a bit better. What the fuck is going on with him though… Is it because his partner is fucking him or is it because I’m being clinging? Am I being clingy? Is it because we came together the other week? Did that freak him out? Is he feeling guilty? OMG my head is going to explode with all the what ifs & questions…. FUCK!!!

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With the drive to & from his work, he is only at my house for an hour tonight. We fuck as always, it’s good sex, it feels good, we are in sync, both of us cumming at separate times, but I’m feeling disconnected from him. I don’t know how to explain it. There is still the passion & excitement there, there is still chemistry & we’re both turned on but the connection with him feels disjointed. It’s been 2 weeks since Orbit, so it’s not that… What is it? I never felt like this with Noodle ever before, even the first time we fucked. I felt more connected with him that night, than I do now… What is happening here…? Why did I get involved with a guy that has so many reg flags not only because of his growing family & partner, but also because of all the personal red flags, the douchyness, the needing to be wanted feeling… Am I just a play thing to him that he got what he needed from? I gave him confidence & made him feel sexy again, she’s fucking him so he doesn’t need me? Everything about this guy said reg flags & I got involved… I have been chatting to this man every single day for 8 months, that’s like 240 days! How did I get so entwined with him? How did I get so caught up in this… How did he become a good friend… FUCK, how did he become my best friend? Why am I so sad about the prospect of this ending…

Could this be the end of Noodle & I?



Today’s filler post is very important to the Noodle story… You must read this one before the next Noodle post is posted!

One thing I want you all to know, which you should already be aware of, none of these stories are fiction. They are entirely non-fiction, they have all happened to me, to my recollection, this is the truth… While I am now using my life story for entertainment value for you guys, remember, I lived this! I did all this stuff & I don’t always make wise decisions…

While seeing Noodle, I know I said that I wasn’t talking to anyone else & while that is true for the most part, Noodle is offline a lot & I’m sitting around waiting for him, when Orbit joins the southern group I run, Noodle isn’t in all my groups, so I can flirt a bit without him seeing or getting jealous. I chat to J-Lo every day & Dom when he is around & not ignoring me. But with J-lo it’s just like a guy friend chat & Dom, well he comes & goes like the wind.

I guess as much as I don’t want something else with anyone else, I am still technically single & want a partner, so I’m also looking for someone single who I have the same chemistry that I have with Noodle. I’m sure there are single guys out there that I will have the same chemistry with. I mean, I’ve never felt like this before about a guy, but surely it’s not just Noodle, surely there is a single man out there for me?

Orbit is good looking & we chat a bit, I know he is talking to Sweetie (Max’s Wife) as well, before I even start talking to him. I’ve seen drama go down when people on the chat app when they are chatting to multiple people & I don’t want that, so I make sure he’s not going to be pursuing something with Sweetie, because if he was, then I would leave him for her. This is one of the reasons why I am glad that Noodle, while he flirts with other people, he doesn’t chat with others with the intention to meet them… This is probably why we are in this mess in the first place, we’re being too loyal to each other…

Orbit & I chat a lot – not like Noodle & I do, I mean Orbit & I can go days without talking & we talk about nothing of importance or anything deep. I know barely anything about him. I think it’s not wise for me to be only fucking Noodle, I am way too into him. When Orbit invites me over for a drink, I accept. As I put the condom in my pocket, I think this isn’t a good idea, but it’s also the only idea that makes sense. Orbit says he has his daughter but she’s in bed asleep, I get to his house & we sit drinking wine on the couch. It’s nice, but I feel no spark, I feel no electricity, I feel nothing like I felt with Noodle the first time we met. I mean if Noodle & I could’ve, we probably would’ve fucked on the tables at the café we met at… I actually had to physically control myself from touching Noodle… With this guy, I am dreading him leaning over to kiss me. Is that because of Noodle od because of the chemistry with Orbit?

Around midnight, Orbit & I have not even touched, the conversation is a little bit stagnant, that I say I have to go, I’ve finished my first wine & he hadn’t offered me another one, so I just head home. I only live around the corner so it’s not that far. I look at my phone & Noodle hasn’t been back online… What the fuck is going on with Noodle? This date has made me realise though, that I only want Noodle. I don’t want to date, I don’t want to meet new men, I want Noodle & whatever this stupid thing is between us!

But the Noodle is still being weird with me, for the last few weeks, he’s barely talking to me, but when I say that he’s barely talking to me, I mean he talks to me every day, we always chat daily, but it’s not the same at it was. Noodle just says that he’s too busy, which pisses me off & is super offensive, like I haven’t been busy this whole time & yet I make time for Noodle. I mean I was fucking sleeping with paperwork at one point, that’s how busy I am. But Noodle is taking home rosters & doing them at home, so he can’t reply to me…

I have been out for a few drinks & dropped home relatively early, I am horny from drinking a couple of drinks & thinking I can have some virtual sex with Noodle, but he hasn’t even come back online after he got home from work… I know she’d be in bed by now, so clearly he’s gone to bed to fuck her… FUCK I have to stop thinking about them having sex. But this is where I snap!

Orbit is messaging me, inviting me over when I agree… I am sitting on the edge of my bed, half undressed thinking that I should get into bed, but also willing Noodle to come back online to save me from making this terrible decision. I think fuck it, fuck Noodle, I’m so over this bullshit with him!

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I get to Orbit’s house & still nothing from Noodle. I walk in his front door & we’re kissing straight away. He’s not that great of a kisser. He has stubble, which is ok, but it’s the scratchy type of stubble, not soft scratchy like Noodle’s beard. I usually hate beards & this one kind of hurts my face – this is why I don’t like them. We kiss & he moves us into his bedroom, closing the door. We get naked, undressing ourselves, we lay on the bed, I get the feeling he is more submissive than he let on… Or maybe it’s nerves or maybe he just is being respectful of me, I don’t know what it is, but it doesn’t flow well, it doesn’t have passion or chemistry, I don’t even cum. Orbit doesn’t talk during sex, when I try to ask something or say something, he doesn’t really respond. That’s fine I guess, I never used to be a talker until I was with Noodle & even with him sometimes I still feel self-conscious.

I leave his house shortly after he cums, feeling ashamed. I don’t think I have ever felt guilty before about having sex with someone. Not only do I feel like I have used Orbit, but I realise that I have potentially jeopardised whatever this thing is with Noodle, for some really shit sex.

Should I tell Noodle? Should I keep my mouth shut being I know I am never going to see Orbit again? Does Noodle need to know? What would he say? I can picture him saying “I’ll live” or “Part of the deal” but he’ll be jealous as fuck. I can’t deal with that… I don’t want to hurt this guy, even though every night he doesn’t come back online, he hurts me. Will it change things even more? Will it make things weirder? Will he stop talking to me?

FUCK ME! What have I done?!


Noodle #24

WHAT THE ACTUAL FACTUAL FUCK! Why do I think that was making love? I don’t even know what making love is… Why would I say that? No, we’re just in sync, our chemistry is undeniable. I must never mention that to Noodle. It means nothing! It means nothing!!!! Noodle & I just have some sort of weird connection, it’s not the L word… Stop it!

We do sort of talk about cumming at the same time, because I am a little weirded out that we did that, I haven’t ever had that happen before, I want to know if it is a common thing but he tells me that he’s never cum at the exact same time as someone before, he’s cum at a similar time but not like that… FUCK. What does that mean? This is not good, I repeat, this is not good! FUCK… I need to forget that even happened! We both do… I never mention the L word.

We chat all weekend but I don’t see him for a few days. This is not unusual, we chat a lot when she is sleeping, we talk a lot about our diets to be honest, it’s really the main topic we talk about, we share our fat photos, Noodle sends me a quite a few & I send him some… I’ve never been confident to show anyone before so the fact I’m sending him pictures of how fat I was, is surprising to me. He tells me how well I’ve done & how sexy I am now, I tell him that he wouldn’t have ever fucked me when I was fat & he says that I wouldn’t have fucked him when he was fat & look to be honest, Noodle isn’t 100% my type but I can’t say for sure that I wouldn’t have fucked him. He’s only just started his weight loss journey, I have been at this lower weight for a few years but sort of stuck here. Noodle has been helping & I know that my body shape is changing even if the scales don’t move. He gives me confidence so I am not really worried about what he thinks of me, because I know he thinks I’m sexy, I just need to be around his hands for 5 seconds & they’re all over me… Hahaha.

One night chatting to Noodle while his partner is at work, we generally are talking about food or are turning each other on. Noodle will hide in his bedroom to jerk off & video it for me or one time he even hid in his kids room, which was a bit weird seeing all the kid stuff, like the backpack on the door & lots of drawing on the wall, while watching him jerk off, but I guess we do what we have to do to have some sexy time together. This night, Noodle & I are just chatting, not even sexy talk when he goes silent for a bit. I just assume his partner came home suddenly, she has called in sick a fair bit & usually on his days off, which means we don’t get to talk all day. He seems to get really pissed off when she does that, he’s been pretty annoyed that she has changed her roster so she doesn’t work late on Monday nights anymore. He does tell me that he gets snippy with the whole family when he can’t talk to me. I never see it, so I have no idea… I mean of course I only know what he tells me about their life together & how they are, but I don’t know if it’s true, I mean all of this could be a lie? Who the fuck knows. Anyway he’s gone offline & I think fuck you Noodle for not saying goodbye, but it’s become his usual thing – because he’s told me before that he tries to chat to me for as long as he can, so he doesn’t say goodbye quick enough. It pisses me off, but I also can’t help but think it’s cute… Fuck I’m such an idiot!

I see him finally read my last message, then I get a picture of his son lying on the ground with a really cute giggling face, only wearing track pants but his whole chest, arms & face covered in blue texta. I then get a picture of the iPad covered in blue texta too…FUCK! Noodle is freaking out a bit because he left him unattended while talking to me & has nothing to clean it off with. He says that his partner will freak out, so Noodle takes his son & heads to the shops for something to clean him with. I’m not good with suggestions, I suggest nail polish remover – what a fucking idiot, who would use nail polish remover on a kids skin?! (which is pretty much what Noodle says to me. Hahaha) I try not to be annoyed he has to go deal with that during the time he gets to chat to me, I know she’ll be home soon & I will be deleted for who knows how long. I do feel a bit bad for Noodle & his kid, I mean they aren’t really spending much time together being he’s always talking to me when he has him… Hiding in rooms, jerking off or literally just chatting to me. Fuck I hate that I am interrupting his time with his kid…

Noodle moves stores for the hopefully the last time – but we’re not entirely happy about the location of the store, as if I have a right to be pissed off where his new store is, but I am. Hahaha. It’s about 20 minutes away from my house – probably about an hour from his, so pretty far. I guess things will need to change if we’re going to keep this up. It’s a bit of a drive for a lunch time thing, so I don’t think he’ll be coming to my house for lunch anymore. I guess there’s before & after work when he has time. I mean I haven’t really gone to him much, but I’m sure I could. We change adapt this, I mean, yeah this whole time I’ve expected him to go out of his way to fuck me, I guess he’s the one that has to put in more effort than me in a way. But I guess I like this guy enough to put in some effort & meet him. I’ve met him a few times so what difference would it make if we had some more sex in his office or in the car?

He’s off on Monday & I’m on annual leave, he drops his son off at child care & he comes over to my house at 9:30 am for a few hours. It’s not often we get this kind of time together, usually just a lunch break here or a before work fuck. I like the times when we can really enjoy the foreplay with each other, the kissing, the touching, the sucking before we start fucking. Noodle has become quite accustomed to using my toys in my draws, assorted vibes or the x restraints. His favourite is a vibe on my clit while fucking me, even though I’ve cum so many times, probably from just looking at this guy but he still likes to make me cum while his cock is deep inside me. The part I have to say I love the most, when I have more time with Noodle than usual, is when we just lay there afterwards, like we have all the time in the world, entwined in each other’s limbs, his hands touching every inch of my skin that he can reach. It makes me realise that this could be more just friends with benefits… This guy is more than that… Somehow, I don’t know what he is, but he’s more than that!

We talk about the first time we met, I mean we’ve had conversations about it before but he admits to messaging me “Well I messaged you after I kissed you” I laugh, because he tells me that he’s stubborn so I assume that he wouldn’t message me “You did… I actually thought there would be a stand off between who would message first after we had sex. Even after we have lunch too… You were first both times!” I am giggling as I see his response “So I’m really the loser then” I tell him that yes he is a loser & he says “pfft, should’ve made you wait” I laugh as I say “You couldn’t wait to message me” he knows this is true, but he says “You couldn’t wait for my message” I laugh the whole time, knowing I am being cheeky, “I didn’t have to wait…!” Neither of us are going to back down here so his response really surprises me “Haha. Meh maybe I like you a little. Must of come across ok.” I know that Noodle saying he likes me a little is a big thing, we don’t usually say stuff like that to each other… I know I am stubborn & I try not to be, but I am, especially when it comes to men. I watch Noodle act like a complete douche in the groups that I thought he was more stubborn than me. Though when he gets deleted out of the groups as a joke, he always does come crawling back with his tail between his legs, so maybe I am more stubborn than him… I mean I have proved that, I just didn’t realise how much more. I guess in this situation, I have more power than he does, I mean I don’t have to make the effort to see him… I don’t have to put in any effort to chat to him to get him to fuck me, but if he wants me to fuck him, he needs to put in the effort!

Noodle at his new store, it will be his home store so he wants to makes his mark there, I get it, I just never thought it would be at the detriment of talking to me. Lets be honest, I’ve been spoiled over the last 7 months as Noodle has had a lot spare time to chat to me, not many jobs you can chat back & forth. I’m on my work phone a lot so I can message while doing other things… But being his original store had closed down, he’s been on leave then in stores for short times that he hasn’t really been in charge, so could use his phone more. But moving to this store which will be his store, I understand things will change a bit. I just didn’t realise how much. He barely chats to me at all, waiting till almost midnight to come back online to ask how my days was & say “I’ve accomplished so much at work in 3 days, sorry for being so busy” Well, fuck, at least he’s sorry, I’m not 100% sure that he means it, but at least he said it. He tells me what a mess it is & how much effort he’s had to put in to it, working long hours to get it up to scratch.

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With Noodle moving stores so often lately, I think this is a really good time to create an alibi. Basically, he’s moved stores 3 times & so I figured, he can pretend to make good friends with somebody at a store & then potentially “go out” with them to have a drink & whatnot, but actually be with me without raising suspicion. He never actually does it though. I think he thinks it will be a bit suspicious, but I mean it’s the perfect opportunity to create an alibi. He uses the gym all the time as a alibi, but he’s not allowed to go when the family is awake, so it makes it hard – mainly for me because we don’t meet at the gym & it’s still 20 minutes away from my house! It disappoints me that Noodle doesn’t take this opportunity to do this. It’s the perfect time! I guess there would be a million questions about who the person is, where they’re going & what they’re doing. Also he’ll be stalked on the apple stalker app, but I mean it he was going to a bar for a drink, it’s a great opportunity for us to go on some dates.

I don’t see Noodle for the rest of the week, he’s so ‘busy’ that we barely even talk, it’s fucking me off… I mean he still makes the effort to talk to me a little, but is in bed early, up early but doesn’t say hello for hours, then barely writes back or has a conversation with me, its short & only enough to keep me chatting to him… I don’t even know what I am doing… I mean I shouldn’t panic it’s only been a week, however, I get really pissed off, thinking too much, I’m the worst overthinker, it kills me but I am thinking constantly about him fucking his partner, kissing her, touching her like he does me & I fucking snap…


Noodle #23

I wake up fuming still – from what little sleep I did have, what a douche. If Noodle doesn’t say hello to me, then no fucking way am I messaging him! This will be over… That’s fine by me! Fuck, do I even actually mean that? I know he’s at work, he knows I am awake & nothing. I don’t look at his good night message either, making a stand on that too! What a douche, I am not messaging… But as I’m getting ready I see his name pop up on my phone & I melt like an idiot! “Morning.” FUCK!

noodle Mad at him not youre not.png

He makes up for his douchyness from last night when we talk, I can’t stay angry, which fucks me off… He never says sorry, if he did I wouldn’t believe that he is actually sorry anyway, I believe though when he tells me “You are probably the sexier person I have ever fucked – not sure how you become that” I think he means the sexiest hahaha. But I let that slide being he’s being nice & making up for being an idiot last night. I get to the bottom of his jealousy & why he was being a fuckwit. I had changed my profile picture & apparently according to him, I was getting way more attention that I have before – which is also why he posts pictures of himself, when I get too much attention. I don’t agree, but he says “No way. I notice this shit. I may from time to time get a tiny bit jealous & you are getting way more attention” I literally can’t believe that this guy is this jealous about idiots online giving me attention. But do you know what… It actually makes me feel good! For me, jealousy with a partner is a feeling you get when you are scared of losing them… He has no reason to be jealous, I am fucking in this too deep, I am not going anywhere & I am not fucking anyone else, I haven’t fucked anyone else in months! I’m barely even talking to anyone else!

Noodle also gets another nickname on the chat app – I don’t think I told you about, which I know he likes, his new nickname is Pickle, however, I still call him Noodle or Noo Noo & he says he hates all the nicknames. He spends all his time trying to get people to call him God. Which I just roll my eyes at, but also smile at his stupid need to have people like him. I know he doesn’t hate these names at all. He tells me though that his new cat (that he didn’t want but after the other cat was run over, he came home one day & his partner had brought home a new kitten without telling him. Seriously, these 2 are messed up!) is called Pickle. I laugh & say that’s hilarious that he has his chat app nickname as his cats name, but he says that his son named it & it was a coincidence. What a fucking weird coincidence.

Noodle tells me how stubborn he is when as a joke he gets deleted from a group again & he says that he’s too stubborn to re-join, I know he’s fucking stubborn, I’m fucking stubborn too, I think more than him sometimes, but I guess in this scenario, I can just move on to another guy, I don’t think there are many women out there who would do what I’m doing for as long as we have. So I send him a picture of me sucking his cock & say that I actually look quite good. He says “You look fucking smoking hot, but I can resist.” I am sitting in my car, at lunch thinking fuck you, no you can’t resist me, no more than I can resist him, so I say “Could you resist kissing me, kissing my ear, feeling me react? Or sucking my nipples while your cock is in my pussy feeling it get wetter… Or when you put my legs on your shoulders & my cunt squirts all over us… Or when you slip in my ass when I’m so wet… Or bending me over the pool table, sitting on the washing machine, the desk in your office… Or tying me to the bed to spank my ass then fuck me from behind… Or resist me when I’m on the pool table with a vibe in my pussy just making you watch… Or me licking your sensitive balls & cock till you cum in my mouth then I keep sucking when it’s even more sensitive… Should I bother mentioning tit fucking & cumming all over them wearing your cum all day like a dirty little mistress…” He responds “OMG, Fuck you #IBD4U” I send a selfie in the car with a look that says what I follow up with “Don’t mess with me!!!!” I’m sitting there giggling when he says “That’s a pretty smug smile. You enjoy me being addicted to you, don’t you?” Why, yes I do!! Hehehe. I call him a loser & he says “Pfft, says the loser fucking me” Well FUCK!

The follow Tuesday night, he drives to his parents house, leaves his phone in a bush & then comes over to my house… Are you fucking kidding me that this is even worth it? FFS. This is seriously next level, who does that? & it also sucks that he is not going to stay over, he does toy with the idea of leaving his phone in the bush all night but since she’d actually messaged his mum to find out if he stayed over, he wasn’t going to risk it. Damn it. I’m fucking devastated that I had this stupid fantasy & that I was so invested in it… It’s probably for the best that he doesn’t stay over, even though I want him too so badly. I hide my disappointment by fucking him in my small spare room, I’ve never fucked in here before at all, never even slept in the room. I get him to fuck my tits & he cums on them, taking a picture of his cum on my tits before he spends time rubbing it in. I don’t know if I just like him touching me or if I actually enjoy that feeling, it’s so dirty & so fucking hot!

Noodle has his brother’s wedding coming up in a few months, he’s been losing weight for it, like over 30 kgs. He looks fucking amazing. He’s been shopping this week & bought a suit to wear to another wedding he has coming up also, that his partner is in. He sends me a picture of him in it & he looks sexy as fuck in it! Jesus… It gets me wet just seeing him in a picture that I tell him I want him to fuck me in that! I tell him this & he says that he wants to fuck me in it too, that his partner hasn’t even seen him in the suit yet. However later I study the picture he sends me of him in the bathroom, there is crap all over the bench, bottles of deodorant, their 3 toothbrushes leaning on the edges of the sink, a hairdryer & brushes strewn about the bench. It’s a fucking mess… But then I see Noodle standing there proud in his suit, looking sexy as fuck & I can’t see anything else.

We both have the day off work – it’s Friday, I have bought some sexy lingerie, I haven’t told him that when he walks in the door today that I will be standing at the door in lingerie & he’ll know to force me to my knees & suck his cock as soon as he walks in the door. We’ve talked about this scenario before, but he doesn’t know that I’m setting up for him to walk into… I spend all morning getting ready, I have my eyelash extension appointment, I have washed my hair, curled it lightly & put a bit of make up on. I then put the lingerie on, drop some heels by the front door, ready to slip on when he gets there… I look amazing, I feel amazing & I’m excited to see his reaction. I’ve been naked for him before & in my usual underwear (which he thinks is sexy, but it’s just my usual lacy underwear everyday – I don’t realise they’re sexy to be honest, I just wear them but he tells me that his partner wears grandma underwear. I find these undies more comfortable than my bonds undies so I’ll never be caught in grandma undies!) but never in specific lingerie that I bought with him in mind. My heart is pounding in my chest. I’m peeping out the window knowing he’ll be here soon, I see his car pull in the drive way, so I straighten myself out, step into the heels & wait by the door. I don’t know how to stand, so I just stand there with a hand on the hip, trying to look sexy but probably coming across as if I’m angry… Hahaha…

The door opens & my heart is in my throat, pounding so hard, I’m sure he’ll be able to see it, it takes me a second to realise what he is wearing, because I am so scared about his reaction of me that I can’t look at him. When I realise he’s wearing the new suit! FUCK… He looks hot as fuck. His eyes do this thing where they basically look like Roger Rabbit when his eyes pop out of his head. I’m sure my eyes are doing the same, fuck this guy is hot!

We both smile, this is like the most perfect moment, the perfect fantasy that we didn’t even plan!! How do we do that?! I walk to him & I’m still a midget against his 6’1 stature, even in these ridiculously high heels, we say hello & kiss like there is no tomorrow. He’s feeling my ass & my hands are in his hair, I am seriously so turned on just by seeing him in this suit. He pushes me face first against the wall, so much so, my face leaves make up on the wall. He pushes himself against me & kisses my neck turning me on. He slips his hand down into my panties & makes me almost cum, but then stops. FUUUUCCCK!

He turns me back around & I rub his cock though his pants for the short time that he allows me to do it, of course he’s hard & he pushes me to my knees. This is exactly what we talked about, his cock pokes out of his suit, just his fly undone & he forces me to take it in my mouth, I suck his cock until he is ready to cum, he cums on my tits in the lingerie with this noise that I know I have fulfilled the brief! FUCK that was hot!!! Because he stays hard after he cums, he gets naked & fucks me until I am cumming. He doesn’t cum this time, but he says that he enjoys it anyway.

We sit around talking, he covers his cock because he’s so conscious of it when it’s soft (I don’t think it’s as small as he does…. He has dick dysmorphia – if that’s a thing, just as I have body dysmorphia – I think I am fatter than what I am) & I actually make us a healthy pizza for lunch. It’s the first time I’ve ‘cooked’ for him & I like that he is here for most of the day. We sit on the couch eating pizza, chatting & just hanging out. I love this… Sometimes the hanging out is my favourite part…

It’s not long though before we’re kissing, touching & turning each other on again, we get naked again, from what little clothing we have on. I’m sort of laying on the edge of the couch, while he kneels over me to fuck me, I’m so wet from before cumming multiple times that he can slide in me easily. We are in sync even though this position is a little awkward but some how feels amazing. Noodle is fucking me hard, his eyes holding my gaze when I feel myself building ready to cum again, we don’t stop looking at each other as we cum together, convulsing, not able to control ourselves… HOLY FUCKING BATSHIT… That was intense! I have never ever cum at the same time as a guy before, ever! I have also never cum, while looking a guy in the eye before.

WOW! Could I be mistaken, but did we just make love?


Mixed Bag #2 – Rules, New York & Not What I’m Looking For

Here is the second Mixed Bag. This is just a bunch of short stories… Lets see what you think of these guys! Hahaha… When I read these stories, I understand why I have become so entwined with a partnered man…


I can’t remember when this was, it was a few years ago, it was when I was starting to get into kink & thinking about open relationships – probably around the time I started seeing Milky the first time, when I met someone online on the chat app who said he was married – what fucking surprise! I pretty much was like, I’m not talking to him but he tells me that has some rules. WTF? As if he has the audacity to tell me he has rules? But I am intrigued, so I bite & ask him what the rules are.

He tells me that he & his wife are open but they don’t play together, they only play with other people alone, he tells me that they have decided on some rules such as that they must use condoms – well of course, this is a no brainer… That they can’t bring the person back to their house, it must be in a hotel or at the other persons house but the rule that got me most, was that they can only see the person no more than 3 times. This intrigued me, especially thinking about it since I am now midst affair that is getting messy. If Noodle had this rule then I wouldn’t be in this mess… I guess if I stuck to my rule of never chatting to a married man, then we wouldn’t be in the mess either. I am in such trouble here.

But these rules get me thinking, I am realising how many married men & even women there are on these apps looking for something more, whether it be sex or just someone to talk to, there are more coupled people than single people. I wonder what I would be like in a relationship? Would I be open to being in an open relationship once we’re established? Would I have rules or would I be able to be like Max & Sweetie & just let my partner go spend the night at someone else’s house while I sleep alone? Potentially taking someone out on dates, while I sit at home alone? I highly doubt that I would ever be ok with my partner dating another women or spending the night with someone, I am not that secure in myself. I will admit that.

So my open relationship rules would be:

  1. Must use condoms
  2. No sleepovers or dates (perhaps a drinks date may be allowed)
  3. Maximum times to see the same person eg: 3.
  4. No bringing the person to our house (Assuming we’re living together)
  5. Take it in turns

I guess, it would all depend on the dude & I wouldn’t be ok with it if we weren’t established with trust, communication & respect. But it’s an intriguing idea, I know I would be jealous, I know I would be so it would be taken in turns – so it’s even, if he gets a woman then it’s my turn until I get a man, then it’ll be his turn again. This then stops any jealously as we both get the same number of partners outside our relationship, it’s definitely never going to be one sided.

This a very intriguing idea & I won’t be having this conversation with someone to start off with – like the guy in my first mixed bag, but eventually I’ll potentially float the idea just to make sure the spark is alive. I don’t want to know that my partner is doing something behind my back, I’d rather it in front of my face while we’re being honest about it. I would rather my partner be open about wanting sex with other women, than knowing he is trolling online to chat to other women. I am more ok with him having sex with someone than I am him chatting every day to someone, like Noodle & I are doing.

New York

While living in Canada, I travelled quite a lot though out Canada obviously, but I also did a little bit of the USA. I really wanted to go to New York, Seattle & Alaska (Story to come!), meeting all sorts of people. I wanted to do more, of course but I was backpacking so there wasn’t a lot of spare money to do extravagant travel, so from Toronto to New York, I booked a greyhound ticket & catch the bus. This may not seem that bad, but at this time there was apparently a guy who went nuts on a greyhound & decapitated a fellow passenger who he didn’t know while the poor guy was sleeping…

Here is the link to the Wikipedia page about it – it really happened, & yeah it freaked me out because only a few weeks later, I was booking a ticket on a fucking greyhound for a bloody 12 hours trip.

Obviously, this was an isolated indecent, however, note to self, I sit at the front of the bus & don’t sleep, not that I would be able to sleep anyway but also didn’t have my music up loud so that I was aware of my surroundings. Also when we were at the rest stops, I made sure that I aware of what was going on around me. It was a very tense trip to be honest, but nothing happened, obviously or I wouldn’t be here writing for you all.

The bus arrived in New York & it’s later at night obviously being that it’s a 12 hours bus ride. It’s also winter in the northern hemisphere, the bus terminal is sort of underground too, so I get y bag & walk up to the sidewalk (as they call it) & I am in awe! There is people everywhere, I walk to the side of a building trying to get my bearings. It’s interesting & takes me a while to work out that that it’s so bright because there is a really low cloud cover with all the bring lights in the buildings, makes it almost day light. I am trying to work out where I am & if I should find a taxi to get to the hotel that I’m staying at.

As I stand lost, in the busy freezing cold streets of New York, a tall dude with dark hair walks over to me & says “Excuse me miss, if I asked for your number would you give it to me?” this question is a little weird, if I say yes will he actually ask for my number? Or if I say no, will he ask for it anyway? As I am only in New York for 7 days, there is no point so I just explain that I only have an Australian phone number, he walks away not really taking the conversation any further. I must admit, it was a bit weird!

Also why does everyone call me Miss? I hate it so much makes me feel about ten years old. Guys do it ALL the time… It’s so strange. Does this happen to anyone else?

Mixed Bag 2.png

Not what I’m looking for…

I match with a guy, he’s a bit younger than me, I seem to always match with people younger than me, it’s weird. However I definitely don’t look as old as I am, so lots of younger guys match with me saying how hot it will be to be with an older women. If I had a dollar for every time I heard that, I seriously could retire.

We go through the usual pleasantries before he asks me “How do you see this playing out between us? I’m pretty open to most things” Well I guess that’s a different way of asking what I’m looking for. I say my usual spiel, that I eventually want a relationship but want to take it slow, not in a rush for anything, so regular kinky fun is good to start (Remember my heart is closed! Hahaha) I ask what he’s looking for & he says “Ideally a relationship & kids down the track, no need to rush those things though. so some cheeky fun seems good to me” Shit, he wants kids… Well he’s only going to be a short term thing. That’s ok, so fun with a young guy might be just what I need. I say that I am keen to date & have some regular fun when he says “I’m not sure you’re exactly what i’m looking for relationship wise if I’m honest. no offence intended” WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK… He matched with me & we’ve sent like 10 messages & he’s decided I’m not what he’s looking for? Fuck I must be ugly… (Self esteem issues, I know!) I ask him why & say that there is no offence taken as he’s not what I’m looking for because I don’t want kids. He replys “Because if you did want kids your clock is ticking & it’s something I don’t want to rush, that’s the only reason I guess” OMG. Well at least it’s not about what I look like! He says that if it was he wouldn’t have wanted to fuck me at all.

I suggest that we just chat & can catch up for some fun, building up to some kink, he asks how kinky because he doesn’t want anything up his ass. Well I’m not going to put something up his ass, unless he asks for it. he likes my messages but days later he’s not replied, so I delete him. I have to give him snaps for this honesty at least. But this makes me wonder about other guys… Do other men think about my ticking biological clock? This has been a real eye opener!

What did you think of this lot? Is it me? I have been told that I am too picky, but really, am I?


Noodle #22

Noodle & I chat every day as usual. One night after Noodle has fucked me, he goes offline but then he messages me when his partner has gone to bed & the coast is clear. No hello, no pleasantries, just “I submitted your name to Australia’s got talent” WHAT THE FUCK? What for? I kind of smirk, not knowing where this is going – assuming there is some joke here. “The world needs to know of your self-lubricating ass” I laugh out loud! Fucking hell, Noodle really thinks he’s not funny & he knows that I am attracted to people who make me laugh – he doesn’t think he’s one of them, but he does make me laugh, so many times a day. I love it. That was gold.Noodle, weirdo who makes me laugh.pngNoodle is at another new store, it’s about 40+ minutes from my house – which means it’s about an hour or more from his without traffic, he tells me that his partner has told him that because he works late Tuesday nights & has to be back at the store early on Wednesdays (as always – this isn’t new but he’s never had to drive this far before) that he should stay at his parents house on Tuesday nights for the few weeks that he’s there – they live closer & also close to me. Both of our ears prick up at this, I mean this is an opportunity to stay over at my house! I am excited at this prospect. I literally start planning in my head what we will do, what will happen, thinking about sleeping in his arms. OMG, this will be the fantasy that I’ve always wanted with him! Could we risk this? Could we get away with him being here all night? Would she check up on him via the apple stalker app? This literally excites me so much to even think about… FUCK… This is not a good idea but I want it so badly! I can’t wait till our next Tuesday night!

Because he’s been at the new store, I haven’t seen him since Sunday when we fucked on the washing machine. WOW… I’m still remembering that, that was so amazing, I loved! Anyway, it’s a Friday afternoon, I have the day off & he isn’t at work so he again leaves his phone at home & brings his iPad. I know he can’t message me on the chat app, so I just have to wait till he gets here, so I plan something fun! I get rope, a blindfold, a vibrator, feather & flogger set up in the lounge room, having discussed that I want him to tie me to the ottoman & tease me, since our afternoon where time stood still. He walks in the door, I am naked waiting on the ottoman for him, with the toys sitting on the couch. We kiss & I undress him quickly, not only do I want him naked, but I want to see him naked & also touch him too. I help him tie my feet, because I know he’s not good with rope & is worried about looking like an idiot in front of me – I’m not good with rope either, but it’s just a simple shoelace tie. He then ties my hands above my head to the other end of the ottoman. I’m exposed, I’ve been exposed before with him, but not like this during the day, in the light! This is probably the most vulnerable I have ever been. The X restraints we usually use, are my go to because I can get out of them if I need too. I am on the ottoman, with rope restraining me more that I have been restrained with Noodle before. I trust him inexplicably, so I am not worried as he slides the blind fold over my face. Everything goes dark & my hearing seems to get better with the loss of my sight but all I can hear is my breathing & his, it seems to have increased with anticipation. I’m trying to work out where he is, what he’s doing & worried about how fat I look to him. I try to squash that out of my mind, he thinks I’m sexy, he wouldn’t still be fucking me 6 months later if he didn’t!

Noodle runs his hands over me & I feel the feather, fuck that tickles! It feels amazing, next minute without warning, he goes down on me, bringing me to the edge, about to cum, then he stops & I call him a prick. He gets the vibrator & does the same thing. I’m squirming & calling him a prick more than I care to say… I am loving this but also just want him to make me cum. He fucks me for a little bit then makes me suck his cock, I can taste myself on his dick, it’s really quite sexy. he makes me cum several times before he cums & the blindfold sort of falls off me from squirming too much & he picks up the flogger, sitting on the couch in front of me. I look at him, knowing he hasn’t done this much, but he hits me a few times & I am moaning in ecstasy at how well he does flogging me. I have never had anyone hit my front before, I usually get it done on my back & ass, but he does an amazing job, he is a natural at this, he never should think or feel like an idiot with me, I mean I tell him this all the time but he doesn’t really believe me. He thinks I’m this super experienced kink chick, which lets face it, I’ve been with about 3 men, including Noodle that have been kinky – I’m probably not even considered kinky in the actual kink world!! Fuck I don’t even care if I am kinky! I fucking love fucking this man!!

The following Sunday we’re chatting, he’s at work & the store far away when he suggests I get a vibe that goes inside me & meet him for lunch with it in… JEEZ! Instantly wet from that request & definitely not going to say no! He tells me not to wear panties as well… OMG DUDE, are you trying to kill me! I am in the car quicker than I care to admit & driving to meet him. I pick him up & he kisses me hello – like a peck on the lips as he gets in the car, which is sort of a new thing for us & very coupley but I adore it. His hand slides between my legs as soon as he sees me squirming in the seat & he asks if I’ve had it on like a good girl the whole drive. I say yes, because of course I have – he makes this noise that which I know means he’s just gotten hard at the thought. We drive around trying to find somewhere to fuck at this new store & I used to work in the area so when we can’t find something, I drive to my old work carpark but it’s full of cars. FUCK. I drive down a side street, turned on as fuck wanting to just fuck his brains out, when I find an empty lot behind some houses. I pull in to a carpark & he is unbuttoning his pants really quickly, with a look on his face that he wants it too & I pull the vibe out & climb on top of his lap as he clicks the seat backwards to give us more room. Kissing him, sliding his cock into me so easily as I am saturated. This is sexy as fuck!

He makes this groaning noise as I slide down his cock, I literally love that sound. So manly & so rugged, that I have to kiss him as soon as I hear it, his beard rubbing all over my face. My hands in his hair with his hands on my bare ass, since I’m wearing a short dress for him – easy access & also to save time. I pop my tits out the top & shove them in his face, which he makes that noise again, fuck, I love making him make that noise! He says that he doesn’t cum this way so once I’ve cum a couple of times, I climb off him & sit in the front passenger seat leg well & suck his cock, it’s a weird angle in which I am sitting but I don’t care, I suck his cock, till his starts rubbing it himself & he looks at me with those eyes that I push my tits together & let him cum all over them… I don’t think I’ve told you that he does that quite often now, I really used to think it was gross & hated cum on me, but now I love it, I love the way he looks at me when I let him, I love the way he makes a sound when I push my tits together to make sure he gets them & I actually love the feeling, like I am being branded by him. But most of all, I love that he rubs it in when he’s done! He rubs my tits & it actually feels amazing… So weird, but yeah, if you haven’t figured that out yet, then I’m not sure why you’re still reading! Hahaha.

I don’t see Noodle for a week! Fucking work trip! Which means that I don’t get to see if he’ll spend the night at my house on the Tuesday night. However, it’s a good opportunity to see what she does the first night he spends away from her. Unfortunately for my fantasy, not only does she track his phone with the stalker app, she actually asks his mum if he stayed over… Fucking hell, she’s paranoid! (At this point, she has every right to be of course.) There goes my overnight fantasy, he won’t stay over now. Even if next week she doesn’t ask his mum. I wonder what his mum thinks of that?!

So when I am back on Friday morning Noodle is sneaking into my bed before work! Pretending that he is at the gym on his day off. It’s also her day off which is why he’s gone to the gym early. I think they have a baby appointment. He doesn’t really tell me much & I don’t ask to be honest. I want to know the least I can about the baby.

I tell him that night, that I am not fucking anyone else & that I don’t want too either, he knows this fact already but he still questions me. I wonder if it’s a test to see how much I am into him because I know he gets jealous, he tells me “As much as I love you being MY dirty little slutty mistress… I’d never have that expectation of you. & as much as I’d get jealous” HA! he finally admits it! Hahaha… I know he does, it’s hilarious when he does but also I try so hard to make sure that he doesn’t have a reason to be jealous. He tells me too “I actual don’t want sex with anyone else. Not just cos of the quantity of sex with you. but the quality too. Haha” Awwww… fuck! But this seems to turn into a fight about another dude in the groups, I’ve talked about before Holden, Noodle tells me that if I fuck him, “It will absolutely piss me off tho, but I’ll live.” Well firstly Holden is married, albiet in an open relationship but his partner keeps a tight leash so he’s not done anything as far as I’m aware & he’ll talk to me sporadically & then won’t private chat with me for ages. He’s also got my phone number which he used for a while, but then stopped. I’m assuming his partner wasn’t happy about it so he stopped – I’m not really sure.

When Noodle starts saying that I’m only fucking him out of convenience, I get so angry! Like fuck, I’ve been going out of my way for the last 5, almost 6 months to fuck this guy, at random places, sneaking around, not even telling my best friend that I’m seeing this guy because she was cheated on, not being able to see him when I want & he thinks this is convenient?! Is he insane!!! This is the most inconvenient thing I have ever been involved in & I don’t want to fuck Holden, especially if Noodle is going to be so upset about it. I agree with Noodle & say that if he had of fucked this chick that used to flirt with him hard (all the time, used to piss me off, I’m glad she’s out of the groups now) so I would’ve been pissed off so I tell him that I won’t fuck Holden. He just keeps saying “Its ok, I’ll live” & “I’ll survive…” or “Part of the deal” that I snap “You’re a fucking wanker, I’m going to sleep. Night” & I put my phone down – even though it kills me to do it, not reading his last message that I hear come through, which is probably just “Night” but I refuse to look at it.


Guest Blog: Erotica – For Her

Erotica Thursday’s is back (for today only!) This is a erotica story written by my male friend… I like reading stuff from the men too!

This is a similar fantasy that I’ve enjoyed but have also experienced (Story to come!)

Here’s a link to my erotica scenes… Scene one – Nipple Bells, Scene two – Wake Up Call , Scene Three – His Orgasm & Scene Four – The Wake Up Call , Scene Five – Blindfold, Scene Six – Shower, Scene Seven – Anticipation, Scene Eight – Watching, Scene Nine- Quick Fuck, Scene Ten – Her Surprise & Scene Eleven – Prick.


For Her

The mood in the house is quite uplifted. I bounce around the living room to my favourite song. The bass from the speakers reverberates from the floor boards. The warmth from the fireplace radiates throughout the room. I pour myself another glass of wine and lay back in the recliner, gazing out the window. I look at the clock. 5pm. A smile appears on my face. A sense of excitement overwhelms me as I see his car pull in to the driveway. My man is home. I take one last quick look in the mirror. I’m wearing his favourite red lace lingerie. Letting him know that I’m in desperate need of hot animal sex. The thought of his hands on me, controlling me, has me ready and eager. I watch him get out of his car. The greasy, dirty, hi-vis outfit encompassing his body, is my favourite sight. His dark sunglasses covering those baby blue eyes. The image of him is something of my dreams.

He retrieves his esky from the boot of his car and walks towards the front door. I take a deep breath to centre myself as I open the door. His smiling face drops to a sly, cheeky grin as he sees me. He stumbles on the front step. I reach for his hand and pull him inside. Without taking my eyes off him, I take his esky from his hands, throwing it on the floor like it doesn’t have feelings and slam the door behind him.

“Don’t worry about your day, or what happened outside that door!” I instruct sensually. “Tonight, I am yours to do with whatever you please, do you understand?”

With that, I push him hard against the door and press my lips to his. I work my tongue into his mouth and melt with the flavour of his tongue that I’ve been craving all day. I wrap my arms around the back of his neck. He reaches down and firmly grabs my ass, lifting me onto his hips. I remove his sunglasses and gaze deep into his eyes. There’s something about them when they look at me. When he looks at me, its like I’m the only girl alive. I know he cares for me deeply. As I do him.

I passionately kiss him as he starts walking away from the door. Pulling away so he can see where he’s walking, he looks at me and says, “Whatever I want, hey?”. I nod childishly, knowing exactly where he’s taking me!

As we reach the doorway to the attic, he kisses me one last time and puts me down.

“Kneel” he commands.

Looking up at him gives me a feeling of being in complete surrender. My master and protector. He reaches above the door frame and retrieves the door key from the hiding spot. He opens the door and instructs me to crawl up the stairs. Knowing this is his favourite part, I crawl up slowly, accentuating my movements. Looking backwards I notice his adoring grin. His eyes fixated on the red lace.

“Whack!”. His hand connects with my right butt cheek, sending delightful tingles of pain through my body. I scurry up the stairs.

“On the cross!” he orders.

I slide my body against the cold, hard, polished St Andrew’s cross, expertly crafted by my masters very own hands. The cold, smooth varnish awakens my skin. The feel on my back is so harsh, but comforting. He straps my hands to the restraints above my head. Running his hands lightly down my body, he grabs my ankles. Spreading my legs, he attaches the straps around my ankles. I cannot move. He walks to the cabinet and retrieves my favourite blindfold. Placing it on me, he presses his lips against mine. His taste electrifies me. Without the sense of sight, I’m more aware of his many other attractive traits. His dirty, oily smell from his work clothes makes me reach out to taste him. He grabs me by the throat and pushes my head back. I moan as he instructs me to be good. I can feel my panties getting wetter as I yearn for him to touch me.

“Bad girls get punished!” he remarks, as he ties a neck tie over my mouth to muffle my sound. Preventing me from trying to taste him.

Suddenly, a sharp pain scorches my breasts. The pressure increases as he tightens the nipple clamps. The pain is intense but pleasing. He tugs on the chain, stretching my already compressed nipples. He pulls further. In my mind I’m waiting for my nipples to tear, but I know that he is in complete control and cautious with his every move. He would never hurt me more than my limits.

He lets go rapidly and my nipples return to my chest. Rebound pain is more intensely pleasurable than the feeling of them being pulled on. My moan is muffled by the necktie. I love being able to scream behind the mask.

He grabs my face and kisses my neck. The polar opposite soft, sensual, contrasting feeling makes me weak at the knees. I love when he creates contrasting sensations!Erotica, for her.pngHe kisses me downwards. Along my neckline. Over my breasts. I’m yearning for him to continue. He complies. He grabs at my waist and kisses me just above my spot. I push my hips into him. The warmth of his tongue gently touches my button. I moan louder as he starts drawing circles around it. Pulling me apart, he pushes his tongue slightly inside and my body collapses slightly into my restraints. He pulls away, back to my clit and runs his fingers around my opening. Pressing ever so slightly on my muscles, he makes me relax around them. Timing my hips with his fingers, I rotate around him. Slowly he pushes his way inside, pressing firmly along my front wall. He pushes his fingers in their full extension. I scream as he presses hard upon my pleasure spot, that he knows all too well where to find. His mastery of his fingers inside my body makes me grind my hips, harder against him. Faster and faster his fingers move against my front wall. The pressure is building, I can feel that familiar feeling is coming. He can sense it too. Increasing in speed and pressure he presses firmly against my spot. My muffled screams get louder and louder behind my necktie gag. The sensations swell throughout my body and the blood rushes to my head. I feel the liquid escape my body. The sound of his fingers, squelching inside me as he slaps them around, in complete control of my body. I collapse further in my restraints as the feeling subsides throughout my body. My head drooped as low as my neck will allow.

He removes my gag and presses his fingers into my mouth. Making me taste myself. I clean his fingers diligently, knowing that it turns him on immensely. I don’t mind my taste either, mixed with the flavour of his hand. He removes my blindfold and I stare at the floor beneath me. My satisfied face stares back at me in the wet polished floorboards. Totally spent and exhausted from the attention that my man just gave me.

As he massages his hands along my legs, I feel the blood return. The sensation of touch appears in my legs once more and I find the strength to stand on my own feet again. The sensations continue as he runs his hands up my torso, over my breasts and to my face. Lifting my head, our eyes meet. His face is awash with content smugness. He kisses me on the lips and returns the blindfold to my face.

The feeling of the rope around my waist is soft and sensual. As he ties my hips to the St Andrews cross, I feel something unexpected is about to happen. I cannot see what he is doing. I feel something spherical being pushed against me. As I feel the rope cinch tight against my body, I realise what he’s done. He’s tied it against me, pushing firmly on me.

“Im going to have a shower, I will be back shortly!” he exclaims.

“Don’t you fucking dare you bastard!” was my desperate reply.

He kissed me on the lips and then I feel him move away. My focus turned to the spherical pressure on my button, knowing that in any second, I may or may not be in severe uncontrollable discomfort until his return.

The feel of the headphones being placed over my ears was distracting enough. My favourite band starts playing. My master knows me well. The intro builds. The singer’s voice screams through my head. I cannot see or hear what my master is doing. I cannot move, restrained to the cross. Almost all my senses have been removed and I am unaware of my surroundings. The song builds toward the bass drop. A gentle kiss on my lips just before it hits, then as it does…..

“Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz”. Trapped in restraints, with no awareness of what’s around me, and a hitachi wand tied firmly against my clitoris while my master leaves to have a shower…….



Noodle #21

So I’ve noticed that the Noodle posts are much more popular days with my blog stats than the filler posts. I even posted this question on the Facebook page (follow me on FB to make sure you get all the updates @ivebeendatingforyou or sign up via email on wordpress for immediate notifications of posts) & was surprised that the answer was yes, Noodle is popular – even a hash tag was made #MakingTimeForNoodle hahaha.

However, the filler posts are very important to the Noodle story! How, I hear you ask? Well, I know some of you aren’t happy about the fact that Noodle has a partner, believe me, I know how stupid this is, I don’t even understand why I am in this position to be honest… I’m a smart woman. But if you read any of the filler posts over the years – the mixed bag series is a good one to see what I’m talking about, then you may have an inkling of how Noodle & I got so involved with each other.

Noodle is consistent! He replies to all my messages – all day, everyday for months, he initiates chats with me, he wants to chat to me – even when it’s not sexy talk – we talk about everything, he doesn’t bullshit me – spinning me bullshit lines like other guys do, he fucks me regularly, he makes time for me whenever he can & the sexual tension build up is so intense that we explode when we’re together.

So while you may prefer the Noodle stories, just remember the reason why I am even making such an effort with Noodle, is because the filler stories are all the other fuckwits I’ve had to date & how I ended up here! If it wasn’t for those douches, I perhaps wouldn’t have gotten so involved with Noodle. So they are important to my story, make sure you read them too, sometimes they are in order, sometimes they are a trip down memory lane! However, having said that, like I’ve said before, I do think the universe has been pulling Noodle & I together online & in real life. Concerts, the anonymous app & him dating my staff member. With the sexual chemistry we have, it’s no wonder the universe wanted us to meet!!

But moving forward, I will make the Noodle posts a little bit longer, so I can start to catch up a bit since I’m currently still about 18 months behind (I don’t ever want to be in real time, but I don’t want to be this far behind!) & perhaps I will maybe post less filler posts! Perhaps on non blog days, I may post a bonus Noodle post too… Make sure you like & follow me everywhere… You may all get your wish on Noodle!

So after my jaw locked for what seemed like forever, I make an appointment with the dentist who refers me to a specialist – it’s been hurting a lot since then. I never want that to happen again. It gets sore sometimes when I suck Noodle’s cock so I don’t want to have to stop doing that… I love doing that! I need to get it looked at. One of my sisters friends even had to have surgery on her jaw, so I’m freaking out that I might have to do that too!

When I drive past his old store, the one in which we fucked in, I am reminded of the sexy times we had in there… That I message him to tell him where I have just been past & we talk about how fucking hot it was when we fucked in his office. It’s so sexy when we talk about all the amazing times we’ve fucked, it turns us both on to talk about it. Usually it makes him want me more.

It’s almost a week before Noodle fucks me again, I know it freaked him out with my jaw locking, I remember it freaking out Milky, but with him not able to fake his location, it also makes it harder for us to see each other. He comes over Monday morning before work to fuck me in bed. I seriously wish that he could spend the night one time, I would love that. FUCK! Closed heart…. Yes very closed.

The next night, on Tuesday, I have come home from the gym, I have told Noodle that I want him to meet me in the shower. He says he’s just finishing up work & will be over soon, so I get in the shower & start washing my hair, so that I’m basically done when he gets there & we can just have shower sex. I’m excited for this to be honest, I have left the front door open & I am waiting for him to come over, showering leisurely, I have picked a good play list ready for us to fuck too, it’s going to be a fun evening. But I get a message saying he can’t come over – no real explanation, just that he can’t come over. I have a waterproof phone, so I’m thankfully I am able to read the message while in the shower – rather than just waiting around like a complete loser for ages. What the fuck Noodle! I try to start crying, but fuck I can’t even cry, tears never flow from me, but that’s how I feel right now. He doesn’t even apologise or anything, but he just says his partner is tracking him & he has to go home. I don’t even understand what is going on that I just read his messages but don’t reply. He doesn’t even message me much on his way home either. I am fuming, not that he has to bail because honestly, I’m surprised this is the first time that he’s really had to bail at the last minute, but the fact that he doesn’t even seem to care nor has he even said the word ‘sorry’ is what I’m angry about. If I had to bail, I do the apology vomit & am genuinely feeling shit about bailing… He hasn’t said sorry or given me any reason as to why he can’t come over besides he’s being tracked… He’s always tracked so what does that even mean?

He later sends me a screenshot of a text message with his partner – I’m assuming she’s now in bed, like me unsatisfied. It has her name at the top of the screenshot, so now I know her name… In a way it’s similar to mine, starts with the same letter… Then it hits me… FUCK. I used to shop at her store before I knew that’s where she worked, I have been face to face with this women… I remember seeing her name tag & thinking about the way her name was spelt. I remember her following me through the store, not knowing who she was & clearly she didn’t know who I was, probably having fucked her partner hours before being at the shops! FUCK… Second why would he send me a screenshot? I guess to prove to me that she was tracking his phone? I guess I’ve always believed everything he’s told me, I mean I know he’s a liar & he gets away with it so easily, but he has no reason to lie to me, I mean he’s been so brutally honest with me about so many things, I guess I should expect that he would send me screenshots. However it makes it hard to pretend she doesn’t exist. I never tell Noodle that I know what is partner looks like, but we’re pretty much exact opposites… I can definitely see the appeal with me.

The top message from her is a picture of something in a catalogue saying “We need to get a fucking decking. That is fucking amazing” It honestly surprises me a lot that she swears so much, I don’t know why, is it because she’s a mum or because he makes her sound really boring & straight laced – I don’t know this woman, but you know when you have a picture in your head of someone & it’s different to what you thought. Now I try to recall what she looks like when I saw her… Then she sends him “Y r u at big w.” Then immediately after “???.” Also it surprises me that she uses text speak, I didn’t think any person, who is close to 30 uses text speak anymore? Maybe because Noodle doesn’t use text speak, I just assumed that she wouldn’t – again just an assumption that I made, I have no basis for this assumption… I mean I guess this is a chick who used to get in fights at a nightclub, back in the day…

He replies to her that he’s at his work but he’s heading home now. I’m not sure why he sent me a screenshot of their conversation but also I don’t think he needed to bail on me. Maybe that’s just me being jealous, perhaps he should go home…

We chat but I’m in a bitchy mood, I guess this has gone on long enough. Noodle & I have been drama free for pretty much the entire time, it’s been 6 months since we started chatting daily & 4 months since we started fucking weekly, we’ve had a little hiccup before we even met when he tried to friendzone me, but basically we’ve not had any issues. We’ve both gotten a little jealous from time to time when the other is flirting with someone in the group but it’s not been a massive problem.

He hasn’t fucked me since Monday morning, because he had to bail on Tuesday night when he realised she was tracking him, so I’m snippy again from lack of sex, I can’t help it. I fucking miss him! We’re having a snippy discussion & tell him to go sow his wild oats then, when he says “Don’t put this back on me, I don’t want to fuck anyone else. Wild oats tho? Plus you’ve fucked your fair share of people since fucking me, so you make no sense” Fucking hell, maybe I don’t make sense. But fuck, I’m angry. I calm down & say sorry that I’m in a weird mood & clearly just need to be fucked. He agrees. I hate that I get like this, I mean I cannot blame him I am the stupid one in this situation, so I have to just accept it as “part of the deal” as Noodle constantly says to me. (Just FYI, it makes me so fucking angry when he says its all part of the deal, he uses it whenever he is jealous & also when he is feeling guilty – but it makes me furious)

So Saturday afternoon straight after his work, his partner is also working but she has to go pick up their son, so he comes over to my house for an hour. Again, I wish I could say no, but fuck it sucks that I want him so badly. We talk every day & things are normal but I miss him touching me, I get a lot of Noodle, virtually, I just don’t get a lot physically & I miss it… We play virtually almost every night but it’s not the same… I want him touching me, kissing me, lying in bed together… AH Shit!

Noodle Smile naked.png

The next day during his lunch break, because this is the last day at this store, he’s moving stores for a few weeks which is so far away from my house, even further from his house, that there will be no lunch breaks – I don’t know when we are going to see each other while he’s at this new store, the drive for him will be over an hour… When he gets to my house on Sunday, as usual I am doing some washing, I am in the laundry when he walks in, he scares me, I jump like a lunatic. He chuckles, loving the fact that he scared me. We kiss, getting naked in the dining room, fucking on the dining room table before he stands me up, smirking – I can’t help but smile with him, I love when he smiles at me. I have no idea what he is planning, this guy always catches me by surprise. He thinks he doesn’t but he does, I think he’s going to lead me into the bedroom, but he pushes me backwards into the laundry, (I’ve told him about a washing machine fantasy!) so he helps me up on the washing machine that’s in the spin cycle! Well, hello there! For anyone who hasn’t fucked on a washing machine, I suggest you put on a load & get in there!! Hehehe… It was fucking amazing!!



Before Boyfriend came along, I was happily single & planning a trip to Canada to live for 6 to 12 months on a working holiday. I’d been talking about going for years, I’d even started saving for it & ready to apply for my visa. I’d also gotten the travel bug having just come back from Fiji (Where I had Swiss), then Vietnam with Boyfriend, but I settled down & bought my house, that I didn’t get go overseas again for many years… So after Boyfriend & I broke up, I moved back in with my parents, rented out my house & went to Canada on a working holiday.

Disclaimer: This is actually my journal from 2008 when I went to live in Canada. I have edited it & added some info to make it make sense for a blog post, but it is mostly the journal I kept.

Here it is!

When I told my friend that I was going to live in Canada, she was positive that I would sit next to my soon to be husband on the plane. She wasn’t the only one to tell me that I would meet the love of my life in Canada & never come back to Adelaide… (Spoiler alert – we all know where I live now! Hahaha)

Well my flight from Adelaide to NZ sure didn’t have ‘the one’ on it as they were ladies next to me & this would require a very different lifestyle change. However getting onto the plane from NZ to Vancouver, two guys were in front of me & of course there are hold ups along the way as people put their stuff in the overheads & stuff about getting into their seat, where they put on their seat belt only to have to take it off again to get something out of their bag, which of course is in the overhead. I was stuck behind these two guys when I noticed they were getting into my row & I had the window seat so I stopped them & as I got into my seat I laughed, thinking that one of these 20 year old boys could be my perfect match! However sitting next to these boys, I realised that these were not the perfect match for me when they started going through the movies that were available on the in-flight channels, where they found a movie & decided that they needed to be started at the same time so that they could watch them together, restarting the movie twice to make sure they would watch it together.

I arrived in Banff & found a job within a few weeks at a currency exchange – I had no idea what I was doing there to be honest. I gave away money all the time by accident but I never got fired… But before I got the job, I had done a tour for 6 days to get to Banff, I met lots of people as a younger backpacker. When I settled in Banff though, I got stuck in a room with 7 other people – all boys! Now I’m no prude, that’s fine, but they didn’t they have to put me in a room with only boys in it… How weird for them, 1 chick?! I wonder if one of these boys could be the one I’m going to stay in Canada for? Not likely, as they’re all fucking Australian! But who knows… Lets just hope they don’t snore!

Ok so the boys snore & they have no respect for anyone because some of them came home, talked at a normal volume & stuff around going through their stuff, peeing with the door open until they finally get into bed & start snoring! So I slept with my mp3 player (Yes, I had a MP3 Player then!) on which meant I didn’t sleep very well at all.

I don’t spend a lot of time in my room because the boys are not really that friendly, so sitting in the common room when I talk to my first Canadian, that’s right I have been in Canada for 8 days now & I’ve only just met my first real Canadian & he seemed quite nice, a bit quiet & didn’t have a good sense of humour plus half the time he didn’t understand what I was saying, which made the conversation a bit stale. But he tried & I tried… I need to make some friends here!

I sit in the common room most of the day trying to meet some new people, but is so hard just butting into people’s conversations & trying to get them to be your friend. A couple of girls came & sat next to me on the couch for a bit & we talked which was really good, but once their dinner was ready they left. They were really nice to talk to & I think that I will probably talk to them again. So at this stage still not job or friends yet. But I’m hopefully, I have only been here on my own for two days. While still looking for my job, I am spending a lot of time in the common room, because I’m not going to meet anyone new in the all boys dorm room!

I chat to the Canadian guy every day when he is in there too… We chat a bit before he goes off to break in his new ski boots. He seems to keep going out to get coffees & break in his boots, I feel like I’m his only friend too, which is a bit sad considering he is from this country – but it’s good to have someone I guess.

I change rooms because I can’t handle being with all these aussie boys. I’m here to meet a Canadian! Though now I’m going into a girls dorm I probably won’t meet any boys, however I am at least going to make some friends.

One morning, I was having some breakfast, in the common room, now looking for some places to live, when the Canadian Guy asked me if I wanted to go up Sulphur Mountain with him, as I had my job interview that afternoon, I had to say no. That kind of sucks, but hopefully he’ll ask me again or we can do something another time.

The girls that I was talking to in the common room have become a bit of a friendship group for me, I have found out that they are sisters & here on a working holiday too but are struggling to get a job too. They invite me out one night to bingo, which I am not sure about but decide to go. We get there & they are closing the doors & not letting people in, like they are turning people away!

This is where the sisters, tell me about how weird this Canadian guy, who I’ve been chatting too thinking, he’s not a bad guy, Apparently. he’s a bit of a stalker, asking both the girls to kiss him one night when they were out, when the both said no he said “Come on its Banff” so now I am glad that I didn’t go on the walk with him. He didn’t have a very good sense of humour anyway – something I am very attracted too, he didn’t really get any of my jokes or understand what I was saying to him & from what I hear, he is pretty close to being kicked out of the hostel. Also, do you know what I just realised, he has worn the same outfit everyday that I have been here!

The bar we’re at closes at 2am so we go back to the hostel only to find the Canadian Guy out the front doing something very strange, which is a little hard to describe, but he was kind of throwing his arms up in the air & walking backwards, looked like some sort of rain dance. He came inside & told us that the lighter he was trying to blow up wasn’t going to blow up. At this point I snuck out & went to bed. It was after all 3am & WTF!

After about a month or 2, living & working in Banff, I was in a bit of routine now. One day I went & had some dinner, bought a book being that I have finished the one I brought with me, I walked home to see some deer or elk on the road wandering around a little bit lost – it’s a small town & there isn’t a lot to do to… I came home to a phone call from one of the women at work. She said she had someone to talk to me, WTF? Who would be calling me at work? It turns out that it was this guy that my boss thinks likes me as he flirts & stuff when he comes in. I just joke around & said that he seemed nice – never thinking that a man would be interested in me. Of course the chick at work, took it further & told him to ask me out, which is kind of weird because I don’t really date in Australia (I guess I do now! Hahaha), usually I would meet the guy with a group of friends so if he’s a loser then you can ditch him, so on the phone with this guy, he asks me out & for my phone number & said he’d give me a call. My boss rang me after he left & said he did a little jump when I gave him my number.Canada travel dickhead.pngI never get a call from that guy, what a surprise! My boss told me that the chick at work had forced him to call me, which I knew because it was her number that came up when she called. But my boss tells me that he came in to work to get my number again because apparently he lost it, so my boss gave it to him on a piece of paper when he passed it back to her & said how about you write your number down too. So that confirms it, guys are all jerks, no matter what country you are in! Nothing changed either, no matter how old you get.


Noodle #20

Noodle, Noodle, Noodle! What the actual fuck am I still doing? I know you’re all thinking it. Believe me, I am thinking it too… I need to work my way out of this somehow… But of course, I don’t. I wait around for him to be online, I wait around for his messages all day when we’re at work. I wait for him to suggest the next time we’re going to fuck. I wait a lot for this guy. Why aren’t I saying “Fuck you Noodle, I’m not waiting anymore, leave her & be with me or we’re over” FUCK… Firstly I would never give him an ultimatum, because I’m not that type of woman, I wish I was sometimes. But I am not going to trick someone into being with me & second, where the fuck did that come from?! Do I want him to leave her for me? Would it even work out? Why don’t I ask him to leave his partner? JESUS… WTF!

These kind of thoughts are just because this week has been weird, I’m tired from work, I have been sleeping with paperwork on the weekends, I have been withdrawn a lot from the chat app that even Sweetie (Max’s wife) has noticed & been messaging Noodle to find out if I am ok. He asks me what he should tell her & I said the truth, so he shows me what he messages her to say “Yeah she’s super busy with work over the last few days, I saw her this morning, she’s all good. She had work in bed with her tho, so yeah she’s got a lot of work stuff on her mind” I had something big that I was working on & it was taking up my mental space, so I’d been working at home a bit after hours, hence the bed time reading material. I know others had noticed my absence too. Later Noodle, takes a screenshot of my profile picture & sends it to me with writing over it LOST – If found please contact Sweetie” I literally laugh my head off & think I better message her, since I am on the chat app everyday chatting to him, I could find a second to message her. I have become what I hate, ‘too busy’ & absorbed in work & chatting to Noodle that I barely have been doing anything else.

So this morning, Noodle did sneak into my house before work on a Sunday to fuck me, then obviously had Sweetie worried about me, which is sweet. But also things are a bit weird with her since I haven’t seen her since her birthday or really talked to Max since he sent me a message for my birthday & we chatted a bit while I was in Hawaii, but then he ended up ghosting me again. I knew I shouldn’t even reply to his messages…

Noodle has also started showering at my house before he leaves, especially on nights where he goes home & knows she’s going to be awake. Usually on a Tuesday night she’s asleep when he gets home so he didn’t have to worry. He’s even told me that he’s slept next to her without showering, covered in our cum. I think it’s kind of sexy, but also so disrespectful… I am in this is a weird phase where I am turned on by the things he does but also appalled that someone would do that to someone that they say they love… It’s a weird feeling for me – please don’t think that I am as horrible as I sound!! Unless you’ve been in this position, you have no idea what you’d do. I always said I’d never keep chatting to married/partnered men & I did make sure I never did, except for Dom, but I never met him, it was all online.

So now that Noodle’s partner is pregnant, apparently she has a heightened sense of smell (is that a real thing when pregnant?!) & has started sniffing his cock when he gets home, mainly from the gym. Yes you read that right… Firstly, how does that conversation even go? I could never ask a man to let me sniff his cock because I think he’s cheating on me. But also, why does he let her?! Does he pull it out & she sniffs it then they go make dinner or some other mundane thing? My imagination runs wild of course, I assume she sucks it after sniffing it, but I have no idea, I don’t ask but I hate when he tells me that she’s sniffed his cock. I get really jealous. I know he’s with her & obviously fucking her still – she’s pregnant, but I don’t usually think about them together… I guess what I don’t know doesn’t hurt me…. I heard a quote that said ‘We only believe the lies that will protect our feelings’ & I think that it’s so true… She believes I don’t exist, just as much as I believe she doesn’t exist… But question, which one of us is the dumbest here? I think me… As much as I don’t want to think about her or think I am the dumbest in this equation, I really am, I know about her, I am aware of the situation I am in, I’m not being lied to every time I ask if he’s cheating. Fuck I am so stupid!

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So, back to the story, hahaha. He’s started showering before he leaves, I oddly like him showering at my house. Milky would shower but I never thought about it like I do with Noodle. I like him in my shower, sometimes I get in with him & we kiss & touch, but usually we get horny & he looks at his watch then we have to get out. When he’s done tonight, he basically throws the towel back on the rack so much so that I send a picture of his towel on the rack looking ridiculous, scrunched up & then I fix it & send a picture of what it should look like. I am, of course, being funny, it doesn’t bother me that much, but I wonder if it would piss me off if we lived together? Also how does it dry if it’s all bunched up? I guess if it’s my towel then it’ll piss me off, but if it’s his towel, that’s his problem – unless he then uses my towel because his is wet! Hahaha, I am almost certain that’s what he would do at home!

It does make me wonder what I would be like living with another person now… I’ve been living back in my house after returning from Canada for about 6 years now, all alone. I am set in my ways, I know that, I think that will be daunting for a guy to come into my life now, I know that my house looks like a show home, friends tell me that all the time, but it’s easy to keep it clean when you are the only one that lives there. Also I travel for work a lot, so much so that sometimes I am only home from Friday to Sunday, away for a couple of weeks consecutively. But even when I am home, all I do is go to work & gym then fuck Noodle, so I am barely at my house anyway. I generally come home from work when I am home, go to gym class, shower & get into bed. I’m barely ever in any of the other rooms, there’s no point.

A few days later, our usual Tuesday evening, I decide to leave the door unlock but not tell him anything… We’ve been talking about christening every room in my house. I have fucked in the big spare room before with Milky & Max, however I haven’t with Noodle. I decide to lay on the spare bed with a vibrator. I hear him walk in front door, he’s never quiet when he walks in, he’ll never be able to surprise me because he’s so loud. I have the vibe on teasing me as I see him walk past the spare room door, straight into my bedroom. I smirk knowing that he is going to be feeling stupid but I know he can hear the vibrator. He pokes his head into the spare room & says “Hmmm, what do we have here?” He undresses quickly & is on the bed kissing me. He’s on top of me & sliding easily into me being that I am turned on from the vibrator, he’s fucking me hard when something happens, I’m not sure how but his shoulder hits my jaw & it locks open. I’ve told you this before that I have jaw issues. Usually when I yawn it will sometimes lock open, it’s horrible, it hurts & it locked once with Milky when I was sucking his cock.

He realises something has happened & that I can’t talk, with my mouth wide open. I sit up massaging the sides of my jaw to loosen it up, but it won’t close. I can’t fucking sit here looking like an idiot clown that you stick the balls in their mouth at the fair. FUCK. I am so scared, WTF why won’t it close. This is the scariest moment of my life… He’s freaking out too, I’m pacing around, naked, wondering what the fuck I am supposed to do. I’m freaking out which is making it worse – thinking Noodle is going to have to take me to the emergency room & then I’m thinking what the fuck we are going to say at the hospital. Would he have to speak to someone there for me? Would he come in? (I find out later that his brother & sister in law both work at my local hospital, so he probably wouldn’t come in!) I wonder if he would talk to my sister on the phone to let her know he’s dropped me off at emergency, so someone could be there with me?

I google how to close it, of course everything to says to relax. Yeah, not easy to relax when in pain & feeling like a dickhead! It’s been a long time & it’s hurting a lot. Something suggests to lay on your side & massage it. I can’t talk & I’m feeling like an absolute fucking idiot. So I lay down rubbing it trying to think of anything but the fact my jaw has locked open for what seems like an eternity. It finally releases & I am so relieved… I know he is too, he’s sitting next to me on the couch naked, not sure what to do but he’s got his phone – also googling & a soft cock, I don’t think I’ve ever seen it soft… Fuck what a buzz kill!


Guest Blog: Locked Out Of Heaven

Another Guest Blog from a reader of mine. I love these stories… I hope you do too! Breaks up the ongoing stories I share.

I believe this was another bloggers stories, but I don’t have the link of where it is posted!

Bit of a short one, but a good one! Hahaha.

Hope you enjoy anyway.

Locked out of Heaven

I hadn’t been separated very long, and as any newly single woman does, I went through a bit of a wild phase.

My favourite drink went from hot milo to tequila, my clothes from mumsy to classy single lady on the prowl, hooker heels, red lips, and a whole lot of sass.

Now considering I’ve never been a huge drinker I had to learn to manage my drinks and to handle my liquor.

I was out with the girls, frocked up to the nines, a few drinks under my belt when I saw him. We had locked eyes a few times and I gave him that cheeky smile, liquor induced of course.

Bruno Mars Locked out of Heaven came on and I’d made up my mind. I wanted to dance. I wanted to sexy dance. I wanted to sexy dance with him.

So with that extra dutch courage I hopped down from the stool I was on and strutted over to him, lets just call him Mr Hottie. Not only because he was sexy as fuck, his body was rock hard muscle, but when my hands found their way under his shirt he was warm, no, hot, to touch. Argh! Got there way too early. Rewind…

As I swayed my hips over to Mr Hottie, I reached for his hand and asked him to dance expecting him to oblige, however, he chose this point that he decided to play shy and told me he couldn’t dance.

I laughed and told him “there’s no such thing as can’t dance. Dancing is just like sex and I bet you rock in bed”. Yep. Good old dutch courage because this girl would never have said that to a stranger sober.

And with that I led him to the dance floor, stood in front of him with my hands on my hips, rolled my hips and then raised my hands in the air and with one I slowly sexily ran one hand down the inside of my still raise arm, down my throat, between my breasts to my hip, then lifted my hand and bit my finger and purred to him “tell me you can’t dance again”, before hooking my finger into the keeper of his jeans above his crotch and pulled him toward me.

Girl was on fire!

I placed my hands on each of his hips and stood with one of his legs between my two. I whispered in his ear and gave him the sultriest look I could manage, “show me how you can dance, just pretend you are having sex”.

And as the music blared in the club we proceeded to sexy dance to the sound of Bruno Mars. Hips rolling, hands wandering, neck kissing, ear sucking, heart rates increasing.

And by the end of the song, Mr Hottie showed me he definitely could dance, and later on that evening he showed me that those dance moves were incredibly arousing, orgasm building, sexy as fuck sex moves as well.

And that ladies is my memory of Locked out of Heaven, Mr Hottie and the night I got crazy on tequila and had the confidence to approach the hottest guy in the club.

Thanks dutch courage. Love you!052816 (3).png