What The Fuck Is There To Do In Adelaide?

I refuse to believe that there is nothing to do in my little “country” city of Adelaide. With approx 1.3 million people living in this city, I am in disbelief that pretty much all my dates I been on, have been:

  • A drink at a pub
  • A coffee date
  • Dinner & a movie
  • Netflix & chill

I think this is lame as fuck for Adelaide & me. Surely there is more to do, something fun, something exciting that also shows my fun side. Remember my friend telling me to show my fun side way back in the first blog Pilot?!

This blog came about because I dated a guy who’s favourtie thing was playing mini golf – it was even on his profile when we met, so one night I booked us in for a game of mini golf at Holey Moley, where we ended up playing both courses. Because of his reaction about how excited he was to go before we got there & afterwards him telling me how much fun he had, talking about it days later, that we should do more fun stuff, that I started to think, what the fuck is there to do in Adelaide?

When I posed this question to myself, I was spending the next day driving to Port Pirie with a colleague so I said to her that we need to think of “fun dates” in Adelaide. So this list isn’t just complied solely by me, she had a few ideas & was also able to google as I drove but of course the blog is written by me.

Our list included all the usual things listed above, mainly revolving around food, but when I explained it was for an out of towner, who is a fussy eater (no cheese) who’s on a strict diet so doesn’t drink a lot of alcohol, but is adventurous, that we need to come up with fun things, not just dinner or drinks. However we are also restricted to a weeknight date! WOW, this sounds really hard! I wanted fun ideas like the mini golf & so this is what we came up with!052816 (2)

I’ll write a brief explanation for you too – so you can find it in your state if it’s not called the same thing where you are.

  • Holey Moley – Indoor mini golf. (https://www.holeymoley.com.au/)
  • Intensity – Arcade video games, air hockey, car racing simulators etc. (https://intencity.com.au/
  • Bowling – 10 pin bowling in gross shoes.
  • Winery Tasting – Find a winery with food & make a day of it, I love a sunny winters day & some wine tasting. Even do a brewery tour if wine isn’t your thing.
  • Adventure Rooms – Aka Escape rooms, using clues to get out of the locked room. (https://adventurerooms.com.au/)
  • Ice Skating – Find an outdoor rink, usually pop ups in Glenelg or the city.
  • Aquatic Centre – I thought this was weird (mainly cos I was worried about them seeing me in bathers, when my colleague said that she assumes he’s already seen me naked & this is something fun she does with her partner sometimes for a swim, sauna or spa.
  • Sporting Event – Football, motor sport, cricket or tennis. Amateur or professional, just get amongst the atmosphere.
  • Beach House – Used to be Magic Mountain, the waterslides, dodgem cars, mini golf, arcade games. (https://thebeachouse.com.au/)
  • Laser Tag – I did it for the first time a little while ago with work people, so was so much fun, in a group, not sure how it’d go on a date with only 2 of you.
  • Tree Climb – Adelaide has a tree climb which I’ve done with my gym friends, it was so much fun. (https://treeclimb.com.au/)
  • Bounce – Trampoline arena, pretty much a warehouse full of trampolines. (https://www.bounceinc.com.au/)
  • La Sing – A karaoke bar in the city, but probably any would be fun. (http://lasing.com.au/)
  • 8 Ball – I have a pool table in my lounge room, that we all know too well… I have sex on it more than I play pool on it. So, going out to play pool might be a better idea!
  • Trivia Night – Often at pubs, go join in with randoms or make your own team.
  • Mega Adventure – A giant obstacle course, must not be scared of heights. (https://megaadventure.com.au/)
  • Comedy Show – I’ve seen a comedian target a couple on a first date or a couple very early in their relationship, so be careful about where you sit. (https://www.adelaidecomedy.com/)
  • Paint ball – I’ve never played but think this could be fun too, even inflict a bit of pain!
  • Go Cart Racing – Careful with this as guys can get a bit too competitive.
  • Latitude – It has everything, indoor rock climbing, trampolines & am obstacle course thing. (https://latitudeair.com/)
  • Lawn Bowls – I’ve done this is big groups, but I’m sure you can do it in smaller groups too.
  • Concerts – Any concert will do.
  • Mount Lofty Hike – Any hike would be fun, even a beach walk would suffice.
  • Moonlight Cinema – cinema in summer in the park. Take wine & cheese for a fun mosquito bitten night.
  • Kayaking – You can hire kayaks so you don’t need to own them, but it’s something I love, however not been a good idea for a first date!
  • Garden of Unearthly delights – When the fringe is on, it’s an amazing place for food, drinks & a random show.
  • Day trip – Hahndorf, Victor Harbor, Whispering Wall or Gumeracha

So I think we did pretty well with the list. I never want to be a boring girlfriend & I think that this will help that along the way. Some of these things are very adventurous & I guess you might need a relatively higher level of fitness & possibly trust that the guy you’re dating isn’t just going to race ahead & not help you if you get stuck on an obstacle. Hahaha. However this also could be a good way to tell if they’re a keeper or not.

Have you got any other ideas?

#IBD4U

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Noodle #32

To celebrate 1500 likes on my FB page https://www.facebook.com/Ivebeendatingforyou/ – here is a bonus Noodle post!

The next morning, post T-bone (I suggest you read that post before reading this! It’s part of this story!) – FUCK! I feel like absolute shit! Not only from a ridiculous hangover that I haven’t had like this in years, in fact the whole time I’ve been seeing Noodle I’ve barely been drinking in case he wants to see me at short notice & I need to drive to see him, which is stupid but fuck I can’t help it. I feel shit from the fact I have kissed another guy – AGAIN! What is wrong with me, why aren’t I the loyal person I thought I was? To be honest, that disturbs me more that kissing or fucking other guys… I am not who I thought I was! I know I am midst affair here, but it’s not my affair, I’m not cheating on anyone & if it weren’t for that stupid agreement, I doubt that Noodle & I would be in this mess! But why do I keep doing this? But why am I like this, is it to test my feelings for Noodle? Is it because I self-sabotage? Am I too scared of being happy? I mean can I be happy with this man? Is that even possible in this situation?

Noodle messages me a good morning message – pretty much before I am waking up out of my drunken stupor, he’s at work asking how the night was. I am in 2 minds about telling him what really happened before someone in the group says something, should I just come clean about the kiss before someone says something or should I just hope to fucking god that no one says anything? I risk it & I just tell him I’m supremely hungover, that I drank too much & came home with Sweetie – not a lie… When he asks me to come see him that day for lunch, I say yes & I think that I will tell him in person – then he won’t get too jealous & I can reassure him how much I do like him & that is isn’t what I want, I can gauge his reaction rather than him just not replying to me after I tell him or him saying “I’ll live” which will make me feel even worse, if we’re together, I can kiss him better & make sure he is ok about it.

I consider private messaging some of the people in the group that were at the drinks thing, to ask them not to say anything, however I think that will draw more attention to it, not only will I have to admit that I’m fucking Noodle but I will have to ask them not to say anything to him & I actually think that it would make me want to say something more if I knew I couldn’t or was asked not to, it’s a bit too suspicious. Plus I know that some of these women are or were after Noodle too, so would they private message him & tell him about the kiss so that he ends it with me? I mean I remember when he got really upset that I didn’t tell him about the afternoon with Shark & Leblek. We weren’t really seeing each other exclusively then like we sort of are now, I guess, so I knew it would upset him so I didn’t tell him. Should I tell him about T-bone? Then if I tell him about this dude, should I tell him about Orbit? Should I just shut my trap & know that this guy is fucking his partner & it’s all part of the deal?! To use Noodle’s catch phrase?!

But I get to his work, I message him that I am there & when I see him walking towards my car, all manly & sexy even if his shirt is too big because he’s lost a lot of weight that I melt, when he gets in the car & he leans over & kisses me hello, I smile & I must have a stupid look on my face because he asks “What?” I reply “Nothing” & we drive off to find a spot. I can’t do it, I can’t tell him, I don’t want to hurt him, it kills me that I might hurt him – I’ve never hurt a guy before that I care about… We’re not exclusive obviously but I don’t want to hurt him… & I know that he will be so jealous & he will think he is not good enough for me. I know how he thinks. It seems so ridiculous to even say this knowing the situation we’re in but he is good enough for me, he is the one I truly see myself with! I don’t want to hurt him, I don’t want him to feel like he’s not good enough. So I decide that it’s best not to tell him & I just pray to god that no one in the group says anything.

I get away with it, phew. Noodle never mentions that he knows about the kiss, but it did take him ages to admit he knew about Shark & Leblek so maybe he’s just saving this to throw back in my face one day? I don’t know… I guess I’ll find out one day… Though weeks later, I am still freaking out every time someone in the group brings up that night – will they mention me kissing a boy? Thankfully, unless he reads my blog, I believe I got away with it. If he was told, I know he would say something eventually, he wouldn’t be able to help himself! He’d use it in some way against me when I get crabby about him fucking his partner… But he never mentions it.

We fuck that afternoon in the back of the car in the backstreets by his work. When I get home I am either feeling guilty or sexy that I send him some naughty pics to remind him how sexy we are together. I guess I do this a lot but he senses that something is up because he mentions that I don’t do that often while he’s at work just after he’s fucked me… SHIT.

Noodle tells me one day that “I’d much prefer you cumming the same time with me” Yeah I agree, I love when that happens & it’s happened a few times now, it kind of scares me a little but it also somehow feels amazing “Hmmmm… Fuck you, that made my clit tingle I tell him that “It’s really hot & probably the most intimate thing I’ve ever done..” He agrees & says that it “Only happens every now & then.” But fuck when it does, it’s like the whole world stops, I look into his eyes while he’s looking into mine & we really connect, like nothing else exists…

Noodle proud.png

The next day it’s Noodle’s birthday, I make sure I am awake early & message him first saying Happy birthday. It’s a Sunday & he’s not working today, so I am not sure when I am going to see him but I want too… He made the effort to see me for my birthday that I want to see him but of course it’ll be up to his schedule & if he goes to the gym tonight. My 2 weeks of annual leave are at an end, so I’m hoping he doesn’t go to the gym too late as I have to get up for work tomorrow, however he starts his annual leave for his brother’s wedding. At 10:00 pm, he messages me to tell me he is going to the gym, I tell him that I want to give him a birthday blowjob & that I am on my way. I know he is happy that I am going to see him today. I’m assuming there has been no sex from his partner. I meet him in the car at the gym, he hasn’t bothered to go inside. I jump straight into the back seat & kiss him as soon as he sits down. I’m rubbing him through his shorts & pulling them down as quickly as I can, he is hard straight away, like he even needs foreplay to make him hard around me?! Hahaha. I suck his cock till he is almost about to cum when he tells me that he wants me to fuck him. I get up & straddle his lap & we both make this noise as I slide his cock inside me, looking into each other’s eyes. I ride his cock till I’m cumming & he then flips me to lay on the back seat to fuck me, when I ask him to fuck my tits (which he loves when I ask him to do that) he wastes no time switching positions, making himself cum all over me. Afterwards, my favourite part, Noodle sits back while I remain laying on the backseat covered in his cum when he see it, he rubs it into my skin… I won’t shower when I get home, sleeping covered in his cum & I’ll remind him in the morning that I am dirty bitch still wearing his cum.

I tell Noodle that I love the way he looks & that I find him really sexy, but for some reason he seems to not believe me, the woman who’s been fucking him weekly for months & chatting to him daily, but when someone else tells him he seems to believe them instantly. Or even if his partner says something to him about how good he looks now. I say “I would’ve thought that it’d mean more coming from me that I think you’re sexy cos I can apparently have anyone I want & I choose you. But maybe I spoil you & tell you too much. I’ll stop” Noodle tells me all the time that I can have anyone I want, I of course don’t believe this nor is it true, otherwise I wouldn’t be in this predicament. Noodle sends me a picture of him flexing his arms in the gym mirror & tells me “No, keep thinking I’m sexy. My arms have gotten bigger hehe. Maybe I think they are sexy now. You were fucking me before I went to the gym tho” He’s right, I was, I remember being the one that was suggesting he go to the gym. “I thought you were pretty sexy before you went to the gym TBH… But you look better now too…” I’m reminded of his first profile picture & how much I liked him when I first even saw his face “Well you were dying to fuck me before… Your more touchy now tho…” Fuck am I? Must control those pesky hands “I wasn’t dying… Get a grip. I’m gonna stop touching you!” We both know this is a lie, but fuck he’s being an arrogant idiot as usual. Hahaha “Nooooo. Makes me feel good about going to the gym… And Sexy…. Ummm considering you were fucking a ton of people & had lots lined up, you were pretty keen” Ok, so Noodle is in this type of mood! “That’s what I mean… It should mean more from me! I don’t have to fuck you!” He doesn’t seem to realise that I choose him “Hmmm but you want to badly all the time. So it does I guess.” Finally he gets it. But then adds “I like the way you didn’t deny anything I just said. Must have been a good fuck for you.” So we’re going to go here… I need to stroke his ego, I know the type of mood he’s in but I’m also in a mood, hating that I constantly have to do this “What’s there to deny? I mean, if I do, you say pfft. & I was fucking others & had potential guys but not as many as you think.” His first reply makes me laugh “Pfft. Miss popular, you had couples lined up, other people on the chat app. All lined up to fuck you. Even arranged meetings that failed for a couple of them. So whatever!” OMG I can’t deal with this. “Yeah…? Well I’m single. Part of the deal” I know that he is going to hate that response “Haha Bitch. But didn’t arrange to meet me or fuck me… Poor me!” OMG, really! “No, I just rearrange my gym, my work, drive to your work, your home, your gym… Poor Noodle!” Fucking hell, we’re doing this are we? “Hehe, opps. Don’t make me feel special or anything!” So I keep going “I bought lingerie specially for them all too! Gave them all a key to my house! Let them fuck any hole or cum anywhere they want.” He tells me that I can reuse the lingerie for other guys & that Max had keys to my house “Max had my spare keys… I had those cut for you… Not that you believe that either!” I am sick of this fucking shit! I was careful not to give him keys someone else had, these were keys for him, I didn’t want him to have my spare keys, I wanted him to have his own keys, I knew he wouldn’t believe I did that, but I did think about how I’d feel if I was given keys other women had… So I got some cut for him, like the loser that I am, knowing he wouldn’t believe me. “Hmmm, really? They look pretty new… Hmmm I’d kiss you right now if I could!”

#IBD4U

Guest Blog: Erotica – For Her

Erotica Thursday’s is back (for today only!) This is a erotica story written by my male friend… I like reading stuff from the men too!

This is a similar fantasy that I’ve enjoyed but have also experienced (Story to come!)

Here’s a link to my erotica scenes… Scene one – Nipple Bells, Scene two – Wake Up Call , Scene Three – His Orgasm & Scene Four – The Wake Up Call , Scene Five – Blindfold, Scene Six – Shower, Scene Seven – Anticipation, Scene Eight – Watching, Scene Nine- Quick Fuck, Scene Ten – Her Surprise & Scene Eleven – Prick.

Enjoy!

For Her

The mood in the house is quite uplifted. I bounce around the living room to my favourite song. The bass from the speakers reverberates from the floor boards. The warmth from the fireplace radiates throughout the room. I pour myself another glass of wine and lay back in the recliner, gazing out the window. I look at the clock. 5pm. A smile appears on my face. A sense of excitement overwhelms me as I see his car pull in to the driveway. My man is home. I take one last quick look in the mirror. I’m wearing his favourite red lace lingerie. Letting him know that I’m in desperate need of hot animal sex. The thought of his hands on me, controlling me, has me ready and eager. I watch him get out of his car. The greasy, dirty, hi-vis outfit encompassing his body, is my favourite sight. His dark sunglasses covering those baby blue eyes. The image of him is something of my dreams.

He retrieves his esky from the boot of his car and walks towards the front door. I take a deep breath to centre myself as I open the door. His smiling face drops to a sly, cheeky grin as he sees me. He stumbles on the front step. I reach for his hand and pull him inside. Without taking my eyes off him, I take his esky from his hands, throwing it on the floor like it doesn’t have feelings and slam the door behind him.

“Don’t worry about your day, or what happened outside that door!” I instruct sensually. “Tonight, I am yours to do with whatever you please, do you understand?”

With that, I push him hard against the door and press my lips to his. I work my tongue into his mouth and melt with the flavour of his tongue that I’ve been craving all day. I wrap my arms around the back of his neck. He reaches down and firmly grabs my ass, lifting me onto his hips. I remove his sunglasses and gaze deep into his eyes. There’s something about them when they look at me. When he looks at me, its like I’m the only girl alive. I know he cares for me deeply. As I do him.

I passionately kiss him as he starts walking away from the door. Pulling away so he can see where he’s walking, he looks at me and says, “Whatever I want, hey?”. I nod childishly, knowing exactly where he’s taking me!

As we reach the doorway to the attic, he kisses me one last time and puts me down.

“Kneel” he commands.

Looking up at him gives me a feeling of being in complete surrender. My master and protector. He reaches above the door frame and retrieves the door key from the hiding spot. He opens the door and instructs me to crawl up the stairs. Knowing this is his favourite part, I crawl up slowly, accentuating my movements. Looking backwards I notice his adoring grin. His eyes fixated on the red lace.

“Whack!”. His hand connects with my right butt cheek, sending delightful tingles of pain through my body. I scurry up the stairs.

“On the cross!” he orders.

I slide my body against the cold, hard, polished St Andrew’s cross, expertly crafted by my masters very own hands. The cold, smooth varnish awakens my skin. The feel on my back is so harsh, but comforting. He straps my hands to the restraints above my head. Running his hands lightly down my body, he grabs my ankles. Spreading my legs, he attaches the straps around my ankles. I cannot move. He walks to the cabinet and retrieves my favourite blindfold. Placing it on me, he presses his lips against mine. His taste electrifies me. Without the sense of sight, I’m more aware of his many other attractive traits. His dirty, oily smell from his work clothes makes me reach out to taste him. He grabs me by the throat and pushes my head back. I moan as he instructs me to be good. I can feel my panties getting wetter as I yearn for him to touch me.

“Bad girls get punished!” he remarks, as he ties a neck tie over my mouth to muffle my sound. Preventing me from trying to taste him.

Suddenly, a sharp pain scorches my breasts. The pressure increases as he tightens the nipple clamps. The pain is intense but pleasing. He tugs on the chain, stretching my already compressed nipples. He pulls further. In my mind I’m waiting for my nipples to tear, but I know that he is in complete control and cautious with his every move. He would never hurt me more than my limits.

He lets go rapidly and my nipples return to my chest. Rebound pain is more intensely pleasurable than the feeling of them being pulled on. My moan is muffled by the necktie. I love being able to scream behind the mask.

He grabs my face and kisses my neck. The polar opposite soft, sensual, contrasting feeling makes me weak at the knees. I love when he creates contrasting sensations!Erotica, for her.pngHe kisses me downwards. Along my neckline. Over my breasts. I’m yearning for him to continue. He complies. He grabs at my waist and kisses me just above my spot. I push my hips into him. The warmth of his tongue gently touches my button. I moan louder as he starts drawing circles around it. Pulling me apart, he pushes his tongue slightly inside and my body collapses slightly into my restraints. He pulls away, back to my clit and runs his fingers around my opening. Pressing ever so slightly on my muscles, he makes me relax around them. Timing my hips with his fingers, I rotate around him. Slowly he pushes his way inside, pressing firmly along my front wall. He pushes his fingers in their full extension. I scream as he presses hard upon my pleasure spot, that he knows all too well where to find. His mastery of his fingers inside my body makes me grind my hips, harder against him. Faster and faster his fingers move against my front wall. The pressure is building, I can feel that familiar feeling is coming. He can sense it too. Increasing in speed and pressure he presses firmly against my spot. My muffled screams get louder and louder behind my necktie gag. The sensations swell throughout my body and the blood rushes to my head. I feel the liquid escape my body. The sound of his fingers, squelching inside me as he slaps them around, in complete control of my body. I collapse further in my restraints as the feeling subsides throughout my body. My head drooped as low as my neck will allow.

He removes my gag and presses his fingers into my mouth. Making me taste myself. I clean his fingers diligently, knowing that it turns him on immensely. I don’t mind my taste either, mixed with the flavour of his hand. He removes my blindfold and I stare at the floor beneath me. My satisfied face stares back at me in the wet polished floorboards. Totally spent and exhausted from the attention that my man just gave me.

As he massages his hands along my legs, I feel the blood return. The sensation of touch appears in my legs once more and I find the strength to stand on my own feet again. The sensations continue as he runs his hands up my torso, over my breasts and to my face. Lifting my head, our eyes meet. His face is awash with content smugness. He kisses me on the lips and returns the blindfold to my face.

The feeling of the rope around my waist is soft and sensual. As he ties my hips to the St Andrews cross, I feel something unexpected is about to happen. I cannot see what he is doing. I feel something spherical being pushed against me. As I feel the rope cinch tight against my body, I realise what he’s done. He’s tied it against me, pushing firmly on me.

“Im going to have a shower, I will be back shortly!” he exclaims.

“Don’t you fucking dare you bastard!” was my desperate reply.

He kissed me on the lips and then I feel him move away. My focus turned to the spherical pressure on my button, knowing that in any second, I may or may not be in severe uncontrollable discomfort until his return.

The feel of the headphones being placed over my ears was distracting enough. My favourite band starts playing. My master knows me well. The intro builds. The singer’s voice screams through my head. I cannot see or hear what my master is doing. I cannot move, restrained to the cross. Almost all my senses have been removed and I am unaware of my surroundings. The song builds toward the bass drop. A gentle kiss on my lips just before it hits, then as it does…..

“Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz”. Trapped in restraints, with no awareness of what’s around me, and a hitachi wand tied firmly against my clitoris while my master leaves to have a shower…….

#IBD4U

 

Guest Blog: Locked Out Of Heaven

Another Guest Blog from a reader of mine. I love these stories… I hope you do too! Breaks up the ongoing stories I share.

I believe this was another bloggers stories, but I don’t have the link of where it is posted!

Bit of a short one, but a good one! Hahaha.

Hope you enjoy anyway.

Locked out of Heaven

I hadn’t been separated very long, and as any newly single woman does, I went through a bit of a wild phase.

My favourite drink went from hot milo to tequila, my clothes from mumsy to classy single lady on the prowl, hooker heels, red lips, and a whole lot of sass.

Now considering I’ve never been a huge drinker I had to learn to manage my drinks and to handle my liquor.

I was out with the girls, frocked up to the nines, a few drinks under my belt when I saw him. We had locked eyes a few times and I gave him that cheeky smile, liquor induced of course.

Bruno Mars Locked out of Heaven came on and I’d made up my mind. I wanted to dance. I wanted to sexy dance. I wanted to sexy dance with him.

So with that extra dutch courage I hopped down from the stool I was on and strutted over to him, lets just call him Mr Hottie. Not only because he was sexy as fuck, his body was rock hard muscle, but when my hands found their way under his shirt he was warm, no, hot, to touch. Argh! Got there way too early. Rewind…

As I swayed my hips over to Mr Hottie, I reached for his hand and asked him to dance expecting him to oblige, however, he chose this point that he decided to play shy and told me he couldn’t dance.

I laughed and told him “there’s no such thing as can’t dance. Dancing is just like sex and I bet you rock in bed”. Yep. Good old dutch courage because this girl would never have said that to a stranger sober.

And with that I led him to the dance floor, stood in front of him with my hands on my hips, rolled my hips and then raised my hands in the air and with one I slowly sexily ran one hand down the inside of my still raise arm, down my throat, between my breasts to my hip, then lifted my hand and bit my finger and purred to him “tell me you can’t dance again”, before hooking my finger into the keeper of his jeans above his crotch and pulled him toward me.

Girl was on fire!

I placed my hands on each of his hips and stood with one of his legs between my two. I whispered in his ear and gave him the sultriest look I could manage, “show me how you can dance, just pretend you are having sex”.

And as the music blared in the club we proceeded to sexy dance to the sound of Bruno Mars. Hips rolling, hands wandering, neck kissing, ear sucking, heart rates increasing.

And by the end of the song, Mr Hottie showed me he definitely could dance, and later on that evening he showed me that those dance moves were incredibly arousing, orgasm building, sexy as fuck sex moves as well.

And that ladies is my memory of Locked out of Heaven, Mr Hottie and the night I got crazy on tequila and had the confidence to approach the hottest guy in the club.

Thanks dutch courage. Love you!052816 (3).png

#IBD4U

Sexual Harrassment

There comes a time in everybody’s working life (sadly – because this type of shit shouldn’t ever happen to anyone) when you are sexually harassed in the line of your work. Now, I never thought it would happen to me or so subtly that I would actually be flattered by it & not offended… I mean how does that even happpen… But when I told Noodle about it, not only did he get supremely jealous, he was also the one that pointed out that I had just sexually harassed. OMG! As if I needed someone to point that out to me! Who have I become…? Is this what online dating has done to me? After all the unsolicited cock shots – which is the equivalent of someone flashing you in a park, perhaps in a trench coat & all sexual innuendos from men online over the last 12 years, am I so desensitised that I am ok with a guy sexually harassing me via text at work, on my work phone? Why didn’t I realise that this guy was actually being a creep to me!? I guess I am lucky he didn’t try to find me in Facebook or some other stalker method. At least he used the only way he had to contact me.

So to give you some background… In my job I work with lots of diverse people, I often am contacting people via text, emails calls & faxes (yes people sill use faxes!). I work closely with a guy, who is about my age & from New Zealand. He literally has the best eyes in the world – they are bright blue piercing eyes & he is quite attractive, I won’t deny that, but he is such a bogan but he is a nice guy who means well. He also looks you directly in the eye when he talks, it’s hard to look away but it can be unsettling for me! We also have some banter about Dave Hughes (an Aussie comedian) & how he says “Good on you” all the time… This guy & I say it all the time & laugh, it’s kind of flirty, I’ll give him that, I do engage in it… I probably would consider dating him too, if things were different for both of us, like if we’re both single & we met in a pub or online…

I actually see this group of people every month for meetings & he’s never text me ever, in the 3 or 4 years that we’ve been working together. So when I start getting texts from him, I do wonder why he’s messaging me, I mean he’s never replied to a text I’ve sent him, ever. It is a bit weird, I mean I am pretty sure that he still has a Nokia 5110 that you have to click the number buttons 2-3 times to get a letter. Which probably explains his terrible spelling…

This is the exact text exchange with a few minor changes to protect our identities (obviously). His messages are in blue & mine in black.

Not my usual style to post exact exchanges like this, but I think it’s part of weird things that happen to me as a single woman, that never seems to happen to anyone else. Hahaha.

Hi hows arvo bn goin?. tht guy is prety good ae we shud try get him to come to all our meetings frm now on

Yeah & from what the other guy was saying he probably should be in them. so when we look at the agenda for the meetings, we can work out who should be there.

Yeah i think he shud be nd yes tht definitly a good idea as he is a lot more clearer thn the othr guy is lol..nd jst of th subject n no ofence whn i say this n its not bad but i cnt look at u in th same way anymore lol

I agree. I’ll dig out the agenda for next months meeting.

I hope I haven’t done anything to cause that.

Tht sounds like a plan to me…haha na u hvnt its mre embaressing thn anything lol

I hope I didn’t embarrass you by anything I did.

No its nothing uve done il tel u bt im already gtn bit embarest lol

Nd u cnt hate me fr teln u either lol bt lets jst say tht i had a very sexual dream about u im nt goin into details bt ws a good dream lol so whn i saw u today i instantly felt a lil embarest haha n cudnt look at u in same way lol

Thanks for telling me.
I hope this doesn’t affect us working together.

No probs i think lol ,but na its defnitly nt gona effect us wrking togethr,unles its changed ure view n thoughts of me n think im sum creep sicko lol?.

No, I don’t think you’re a creep. It’s all good.

Thts good thn,thnx..wht u upto fr rest of ure nite gt much planed?

No ofence but if things were diferent i wud ask n see if u wanted to out fr a drink ae.bt anyway u hve a goodnite

Just off to the gym, if I ever leave the office. No offence taken. Things are as they are. Have a good one.

Oh wow u stil at th ofice wrking?,good on you lol.good tht ure not ofended .thn mby one day il ask u fr a drink thn anyway lol.will do u to hve a good one.

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Reading back on this, years later, I actually can’t believe that I wrote back “Thanks for telling me” I mean WTF?! WHO AM I? & as if I said that he wasn’t a creep! This is seriously creep level… It’s one thing to have a dream about someone, but you don’t need to fucking tell them about it… Is this like Stockholm syndrome? Not wanting him to get into trouble for sending me these texts?

I talked to 2 of my bosses about it, showing them to text exchange & asking what I should do. They both just sort of laughed when they read it & said I did the right thing, but seriously, why wasn’t something done about this? Why didn’t I do something about this? What should I have done about this…?

After this, I kept working at the site but we never spoke of it again… I kind of forgot about it, pushing it to the back of my mind because I still had to be professional & I was never going to act on it. He text me a few times after that, to see how I was, but that was about it. Thankfully. I get moved off this site & don’t ever see him again, which I am thankful for. But who knows what the future holds!

He has a partner, I have a Noodle – who got jealous about this when I showed him… Not that Noodle ever has a reason to be jealous with me, but he seems to get jealous a lot!

But really… This is just one of those weird things that always seem to happen to me!

#IBD4U

Profile Picture

One very odd thing about online dating is what people think is appropriate for their online dating profile pictures. I know I’ve talked about online profiles before but this blog will be profile picture specific… (When I started writing this post, I didn’t think I’d have much to say, but boy was I wrong!)

As I’ve said before this is your time to shine, your time to show women or men what you look like, who you are via pictures & if they want to swipe on you or not. Why waste this opportunity with a shit picture?!

However, in my experience, on the many occasions I have been online dating, I am still perplexed about men’s choices of profile pictures, I don’t look at women’s profiles so I can’t comment – but I’m sure there is a female equivalent to this blog, things men hate… It any guy wants to send me their thoughts, please do! I’m happy to hear if I am also doing something wrong!

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So, I want to ask. Why do men put up weird photos? Unflattering photos or really unsexy photos?! The most common unsexy one for me is them on a boat, looking proud as punch with a giant fish, that they’ve clearly just caught… Let me tell you something guys, there is nothing, absolutely nothing, sexy about a fish!!! They’re slimey, they’re cold & wet & do you know what? They aren’t cuddly or cute… They’re so unattractive, I just don’t get what message you’re trying to send a chick? Is it a that you’re a mans man? Or that you’re a hunter & gatherer? You will provide for her? I just think, ewww, every time I see one, especially if there is blood on the poor fish! I’d say probably one in every ten profiles contain a fishing charter photo of some sort.

My biggest pet hate for online profiles pictures is a picture with a kid… Especially when they note in their profile bio that the kid is not theirs… WHY! I hate it because I don’t think anyone should put kids on an online dating site… Its weird. So many internet creeps out there, do we really need to expose kids to that when they can’t consent to their picture being shared? Secondly, as someone who doesn’t want kids of my own, I don’t like to see someone that I’m attracted too, with a kid who’s not theirs, because it tells me that they want them, regardless of what they say. However, I do prefer a man with children, so I do want to know that they have kids, but I don’t need to see a picture of you with them to know that you’re a good dad… But seriously, if its not your kid, did you get permission from the parents to post it? Would they be ok with it being on a dating site for you to attract women? Also if you say you’re not looking for a relationship, could you put up a more contradictory photo?! It’s just plain weird, so stop it.

The blurry photo… What is that all about? Why post a blurry photo or even one where you can barely see your face because it’s such bad quality – this happens ALOT… Its 2019, take another selfie, delete that one & start over – did you know, it costs nothing to do that?? Same as the half face picture… It still costs nothing to take a picture of your whole face… Unless you are the phantom of the opera, show me your whole face!

Oooh, sunnies pictures! Fuck guys can look really hot in sunnies & then you look at their next picture & think fuck you were hot till you took them off! It’s not their fault, I get it… Maybe I look better with my sunnies on? Perhaps not though, because I do get lots of comments on my eyes… I’m also a bit like this with hats because I prefer hair so usually when they have all pictures with a hat on, they’re bald. Not much you can do about sunnies & hats but it makes a difference.

So the ol group photo, especially as their first picture, I look at the hottest one in the group hoping that it’ll be you & I’m devastated when its not. I find myself wishing you were the hot one, then I toy with the idea of swiping to get to know you so I can date your hotter friend! (hahaha not really, but what a great blog post that would make!) If you want to post a group shot, to show your fun side, make sure it’s not your first picture. Or all of your pictures – why do men post every single picture of him in a group?

This also follows on with drunk pictures or nightclub pictures… I don’t want to see that you’re a party animal. I am happy for you to go out, I also like to go out but if every picture was taken by a nightclub photographer, then you’re probably not going to be putting in any effort to be with me, even if we are just casual…

What about a photo with another chick? I don’t care if it’s your sister or just a friend, if I think she’s hotter than me, I definitely won’t be liking your profile because I will automatically assume that I am out of your league… Even if she’s not that hot, I always wonder what the deal is & why your not dating the chick your snuggling – who you’ve deemed worthy of your dating profile but not worth enough to date. It always gives me a weird vibe to be honest, but chicks are constantly in men’s profiles, probably more than fish…!

Selfies! I’m all for selfies, most of my pictures are selfies however, do we really need a flexed muscle in the gym bathroom? Or a dirty mirror selfie? (yes I look at the marks on the mirror!) Or a urinal in the background? Lets also not forget the ‘looking down’ selfie – usually in a car, why do men do that?? It gives you a double chin, even if you don’t have one. It’s not a flattering look… & oh dear God, selfies with bloody snapchat filters… Just as men hate them for women, women hate them for men – save them for snapchat not your online dating profile!

What is with pictures of only inanimate objects such as your car, truck, boat or motorbike? You’re not even in the picture! What is with that?! I don’t care what you drive to be honest, even if you’re standing next to it… It just sends the message that I will be always number 2 in your life behind your pride & joy. This goes the same with holiday pictures that you’re not in, I like to see holiday pictures with you in it, or that could be anyone’s picture. Same with a sunset, you’d be surprised how many sunset pictures there are.

I’m not a smoker & never have been, so nothing makes me click the no button faster than a cigarette picture… Fine for you to say you’re a smoker in your bio, most sites ask that now & I do prefer to know this fact prior to dating you, it’s not a deal breaker for me so I’m not opposed smokers but do I really need to see you with a fag hanging out your mouth, usually looking drunk as fuck or blowing smoke rings? Nope!

Memes… Why oh why do men post memes! It’s a online dating profile not bloody Instagram…! Most of the them are offensive & I am pretty open minded, so the fact I find them weird to post, I wonder what other women think. We want to see your face, not how good your google skills are at finding lame dad jokes.

Pets, ok I’ll let them off for having their pet up in their profile, however, if it’s just your pet & you’re not in it, I’m probably going to like your animal more than you, so probably best you just put your face up!

The “I looked so good in 2009, so I’ll put that picture up” photo… WHY? You do realise it’s a dating site & when you meet the person & you don’t look like your picture, they’re probably not going to be interested anymore… How dare you waste my time like that! Note to everyone, use recent pictures!

Only having one picture up irks me the most. Especially when it’s just one of the ones listed above… Because after all these guys I’ve already talked about above, they take off their sunnies or have a clear photo & they aren’t attractive to you, but you’ve only got one photo to go by, so when you meet they look nothing like you’ve seen, it makes the date awkward, unless they’re hotter, which lets face it, they generally aren’t… So please put up several clear photos & be confident in how you look!

Now let’s face it, I’ve swiped & matched with all of these guys over the years, I’m not saying I ignore them & you shouldn’t either… But I’m hoping this blog post will help educate those online dating to actually sell themselves, not their friends or bike or someone’s kid or fish… Hahaha…

#IBD4U

Guest Blog: The Writer

Another Guest Blog from a reader of mine. She’s written some stories for us before, this is another story she has for us…!

This is similar to some stories for me, I feel like I am not alone & am thankful that you share your stories with me & allow me to share them!

I love that you’re all involved in my crazy dating life & want to share your similar stories…!

Bit of a short one today, but I hope you enjoy anyway!

The Writer

So, I had been using a kink dating app, testing it out and it linked to my FetLife profile. After I deleted the app I got a message from a man on FetLife explaining that he’d followed me from the app and he wanted to chat with me, if I wanted too. Now, that maybe sounds a little creepy but he writes beautifully and I’m interested in having a chat. I’ll start by saying he’s not my normal type, he’s older by quite a bit and he lives interstate, he’s also in an open marriage. I normally don’t invest my time in people that will be hard to meet up with or married men, even open marriage men. But anyway… I do and I’ll call him The Writer.
We chat on FetLife for a bit and then we move to another chat app. I’m loving the conversations we are having, they’re intellectual, sexy, emotive, curious and we talk about everything, even mundane day to day stuff. I like him. He loops me into a group chat with his wife after a bit, she wants to know who I am as she’s been hearing so much about me. She’s lovely but a little aloof. She’s happy for me to be chatting with her husband, she’s got her own partners outside their relationship that she spends time with and is happy with the arrangement.
After a few months of intense chatting we’re starting to make plans to meet. While this has been going on I’ve met someone locally that I’ve started a relationship with, I’ve been open with him about The Writer and the relationship we have and local boy is onboard for me to meet up with him…until it gets too real and then he wants to tap out and wants me to cease contact.
I really like local boy and want to respect his boundaries and want to give our relationship a reasonable chance of making it. So, sadly I chat with The Writer and tell him where I’m at, he’s sad but understands. We only occasionally message each other to say hi, happy birthday etc… No sexy chats at all.

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Fast forward about a year and my relationship with local boy has gone wonky and we break up. Not long after The Writer contacts me to say hi and we have a bit of a chat about what’s been going on. We chat a bit more over a few weeks and we decide that we’re going to meet, I book some cheap flights and we spend a few days picking an air bnb to stay in. He’s going to come and meet me in Melbourne and we’re going to talk and hug and cry and laugh and maybe have some kinky sexy fun.
Finally the day comes to fly out to meet him, he meets me at the airport and it’s lovely, like meeting an old friend. We check in and head out for an afternoon of exploring the city. Afterwards we head back to the bnb, I nap and when I wake up we make love, it’s tender and heartfelt and nice.
The next day he wakes me up, kisses me and then blindfolds me, he’s touching and licking and playing. My wrists get bound and then my thighs, he walks me carefully down some stairs and sits me on a swing in the lounge. My ass is hanging off the back of the swing, he ties me up harder and ties me to the swing, I’m tied up like a mummy. My senses are heightened and I’m really turned on. He pulls out a flogger and starts flogging my ass, it feels amazing, pleasurable pain. I’m still blindfolded. He stops flogging and I find a hard cock in my mouth he gently fucks my mouth for a bit before getting out a small whip and teasing me and whipping me. He’s playing and teasing. He then fucks me from behind. I’m suspended, tied and blindfolded, I can’t do anything but ride it and it’s amazing. We finish and he lays me on a cowhide rug on the floor and unties me, my body is tingling and buzzing with the release of the ropes and I can feel the sunlight that’s streaming through the windows caressing my skin. He takes my blindfold off and I see the play scene around me and I want to do it all again.
But we don’t and that’s another story.
I leave the next day, The Writer and I still chat, I’m still swooned by his amazing way with words that paint a vivid picture and hit you in the emotions. It’s an odd, endearing relationship we have. I’m glad we have it.

#IBD4U