2022 : Mazda

I am back on online dating, hoping that Eastwood will take the hint & say “lets grab a drink” but no matter how many times I subtly suggest it, he doesn’t ever ask & I don’t ask either cos I’m a chicken. So when I match with Mazda & he says “Are you free now? buy you a drink, just catch up & chat?” I think why the hell not. However at this point I have literally only sent one message to Mazda saying that my day was good & asked how his was… I have never ever met anyone this quickly before…

I like his pictures but I’m not fully into him, he pleads with me not to say no & I say that I haven’t said no but I am asking where we should meet. We decide on a pub after some indecision & he says to tell him what I am drinking & he’ll have it waiting for me… As I start typing out Pinot Gris, I have a moment of insanity (or perhaps sanity) where I think I am going to be waking up in an ice bath with a kidney missing, my head automatically goes into “he’s going to spike your drink” mode. So I just say that I want to look at the wine list. This is also when I go into stalker/serial killer overdrive & send a screenshot to J-Lo saying if I die tonight, this is who killed me. Hahaha!

I think I see Mazda in the carpark when I arrive, standing at his car drinking from a can but when I message to say I’m there, the person doesn’t look at his phone or make any moves to go inside, so I guess it’s not him, so I walk on inside. There is a guy at the bar, who doesn’t look like the guy from the app but who knows, I don’t want to go up to him & ask because he really doesn’t look like the guy I am meeting, he’s seen me & walked to sit at another table – so I am 99% sure he isn’t the guy but people take weird pics on the app. When I look at the app, I see the writing bubbles pop up so I look over at that guy & see he’s not using his phone. Ok so that’s not him, I am not standing here like a tool looking around, so I decide to order my drink.

Mazda tells me to meet him out in the carpark, again I don’t want to meet this creep in a dark carpark so I say that I’m at the bar ordering a drink… Mazda walks up as I’m getting my drink & we don’t really say hi but sort of acknowledge each other in a weird way. He’s my munchkin height – fuck, I hate when they’re my height….  I’m tiny, I want someone at least a little bit taller than me. But he looks exactly like his photos. He’s also not wearing a mask (this is when masks were still compulsory!), so as he orders his beer, the bar tender asks if he’s got a mask, of course he has to run out to the car to get it, so I have to pay for both our drinks… Well so much for him paying for the drinks! We sit down at a table & he sits so far away from me on the opposite side of the table, but then as he sits down he changes his mind & comes to sit so close to me, I can tell he’s going to be a touchy sort of date… Which -spoiler alert- he is…

The conversation is weird because we’ve only shared a couple of messages on the app so we don’t even know what each other’s jobs are… I ask what he does & he says he’s basically in administration, he tells me he’s never been overseas, never owned a home & his car just blew up so he’s driving a crappy old car. I tell him my job title & he say’s “fuck you’re really smart, aren’t you?” I mean what do you say to that?! I’m not a bimbo but I’m not a rocket scientist, I do have my head screwed on straight so what can you say… So I just laugh – like a bimbo & shrug it off. I do the same when he talks about my age or how beautiful he thinks I am – he says I don’t like 40, but then says something about how old he is, even though he’s about 3 years younger. Which makes me wonder why he would say knowing I’m older than he himself is old…

Later he asks about what I drive, he says I bet you drive a merc or a BMW. I laugh asking why he says that & he says because I’m posh. I literally laugh, this guy has got me all wrong, I explain I have a almost brand new work car but I drive a 2010 Subaru & love it! I’m not fancy at all… He rolls his eyes.

So picture Jack Black – you know from Kung Fu Panda – but short, slim & gay. Picture the type of gay guy who says something & rolls their eyes, even if it’s not necessary. Picture someone drunk or on drugs that can’t really get their words out…Picture a friend who says something, then has to backtrack but as they back track they dig themselves into a deeper hole & rolls their eyes… This is the person I am on a date with.

I am 100% not into him, but I was enjoying the conversation until he snaps. He says something about his ex – multiple times in fact & it seems he’s either mega bitter about it or he’s still into her, I ask & that’s when he snaps my head off – that it’s so over with her, yet proceeds to bitch about her for another 10 minutes… He snaps again when I ask if he’s high – legitimate questions, but I can see now that probably not appropriate but at this point, I am not really bothered. He seems either drunk or high. Apparently neither. But he gets really upset about his ex so much that I suggest we leave & he then says “Have I fucked this up?” looking crestfallen, he begs me to take his phone number, which I do but I have no intentions of using it… As I pick up my stuff ready to walk out, he’s really apologetic & I feel a bit sorry for him. He’s done nothing wrong. I am just not interested. This doesn’t happen to me a lot, I am always willing to at least go on a second date…

I hug him goodbye & say it was nice to meet you, I don’t linger as I don’t want him to try to kiss me, so I walk away & get in the car quickly because he also said in the pub before we left that I could take him home & he’d uber back to the pub to get his car straightaway just to make sure I get home safely, when I said no, he said he’d follow me home to make sure I got there safely, I also said no, not wanting him to know where I live, so I am speeding off down the road taking a different way home, but I don’t see any headlights in my rear-view mirror at all that I am safe.

I get home & expect a message from him, which comes almost the minute I walk in the door… “I’m so sorry about tonight, I didn’t mean to be an ass. Thank you so much for meeting me.” I don’t reply… I feel awful, that he thinks he did something wrong. Look the date wasn’t bad, but the date wasn’t good… I definitely didn’t feel anything tingle when I met him…

#IBD4U

2022 : Eastwood

I could write a lot about Eastwood but I am finding writing more of a highlights reel is keeping me inspired to write & get you more blogs more regularly. I think it’s better for my mental health not to relieve some of the bullshit too, which has lead me to where I am that I’ve been though this year! Hahaha… I thought it was going to better in my 40’s. But apparently not!

After Daizy, I do take a break from everything except on one lonely night when I download a dating app & start swiping. I pay for it for a month which is stupid but also works in my favour because I can see the people who have liked me without swiping on them & waiting around till I’m a skeleton to find out that they never swiped on me. When I see Eastwood pop up, a guy I used to work with & I see that he’s liked my profile, I think WTF, isn’t he married? Every guy was fucking married at that workplace & on this app! I’m intrigued so I swipe & we match so I say hey what are you doing here?

So some back story – Eastwood & I used to sit next to each other at work just before I left that workplace, we didn’t always sit next to each other, to be honest we weren’t in the same team till near the end of my employment there & this was almost 10 years ago. We were some of the only sane ones there, about the same age, he’s a year older but he was married. He probably the cutest man in the workplace full of married middle aged bitter women. I always got along with him & we’ve been friends on FB for years. He never really uses it or likes anything I post. Except recently he did uncharacteristically comment on something random, but I just replied & thought nothing of it.

He tells me that he & his wife have split & they sold their house almost a year ago. Fuck, I did see him share that on his FB but again, I am not that close with him, I didn’t think anything of it – but I can confirm this isn’t a lie at least, he’s not just spinning me bullshit. It doesn’t surprise me that he’s single because when we were sitting next to each other I remember him talking about her partying. When their kids had grown up a little bit, she started partying a lot & staying out really late while he stayed home with the kids… I honestly thought she was cheating on him then, so what surprises me that is that it’s taken this long for them to break up.

Wow, so this guy is single… We’ve matched – he liked me first… He also knew me when I was over 100kgs. I was smaller when I left that workplace but he also hasn’t seen me in real life forever. Actually, that’s not true, I did see him one evening at a pub & I went up to him to say hello. But he knows where I’ve come from. I mean his wife was always tiny, so I am no where near close to that small, but he still matched knowing I was a lot bigger at some point in my life.

We chat for about a week mainly about the old days at the workplace & what we’ve both been up too before it fizzes out & we stop making any effort. No big deal… I meet someone else (see next post Mazda) but at the risk of spoiling it for you, it doesn’t go great & so I decide that there is something worth pursuing with Eastwood, so I message him on the app – first (uncharacteristically for me! Hahaha) & we continue to talk, moving over to FB messenger. We talk about work – mainly his work & general chit chat, it sometimes goes all day, sometimes just a few messages but he will often just like my comment. Or read it & not reply, then hours later I will get a notification that he has liked or loved my comment. It is a bit weird, almost like he didn’t know what to say so he just would react to my message so I would get a notification about it & we’d start talking again perhaps?

But it’s just chatting & chatting… I like to meet quickly… He makes an effort to say how’s your night or what are you up too, when we haven’t talked for a few hours. We chat into the night a lot of the time, sometimes past midnight & there would usually be a message in the morning… He is putting in some effort but for what? We haven’t talked about what he wants, what he’s looking for but he does tell me in a round about way that he has been with other women since breaking up with his wife. At least I’m not going to be a rebound if we go there. So we just talk & talk for weeks, it’s not a good sign in my eyes, I like to meet quickly to see if there is anything there, so see if is worth this amount of effort. I wonder what the chemistry would be like now that he’s single? Would there be any?

I try to hint at catching up, my chiropractor tells me to be direct (why have I talked to my chiro about this guy?!) but I am not good at that when it comes to men. One night we’re texting & he is at the football, so I don’t really understand why he is texting me incessantly. Enjoy the bloody game dude… I joke with him about him having a big night because he’s out with mates & that he had had a big night the other week where he got home at 5:00 am. He says that he’s driving, which I automatically say that’s famous last words, that he’ll be picking up his car tomorrow, having had to taxi home.

During the day I have been sunburnt, not badly but enough to be pink & warm. It’s a warm night & I know he’s probably wearing a t shirt because I don’t remember seeing him in anything else ever, when he asks what I’m wearing, I explain that I am burnt & trying to rub cream in my back which he asks if I need some help… I wonder if tonight might be the night we catch up? He tells me the games over & I ask what he’s going to do, he says that he can go anywhere on the way home because he has his car, I ask where he is going to go & he says that he doesn’t know & asks for suggestions. I just say cheekily that if he finds himself in blah blah suburb that he might help a girl out with cream on her back. He stupidly replies who’s in blah blah suburb?

He does end up in my suburb, well the suburb over at a Macca’s when he finally reveals that he is just sitting in his car. I don’t know if he’s being an idiot or not but somehow I am giving him my address. He say’s he’ll be a few minutes, that he’s only coming to rub cream on my back – yeah right & then he sends another message saying “You may not recognise me, I have put on heaps of weight” OH HOLY FUCK. So look, I am superficial (we all are in some way!), would I be attracted to him if he’s bigger? How much weight has he put on that I won’t recognise him for fuck sake?! I quickly suss out his profile pictures on his dating profile. One I know is old because he’s cut out his wife, I remember it from FB profile picture. I’m imagining him over 150kgs. This guy is 6ft something, he was always slim the whole time I worked with him, he’s the type who only ever wears Ripcul t-shirts & pants. He wears hats, usually a surf brand, though I don’t think he’s ever surfed.

I pour myself a drink because lets face it, I now have a guy on the way to my house who sounds like he needs to be a contestant on the biggest loser… When I hear a knock at my door, I down my drink wincing on the taste of burning alcohol as it goes down my throat & go to the door bracing myself to not look surprised at how much weight he’s put on…

#IBD4U

2022 : I’ve Been Dating For This Podcast

So this is a special post for you all!

This is our draft recording of the concept. Now you know that the podcast is again down the drain, I can share this with you…

We struggled with a name for the podcast, I couldn’t think of anything, when I just decided that it would be “I’ve been dating for this podcast.” I made a dodgy intro with some free music to test it out… I’m not good at all this stuff but I felt like it was coming together… Above is also the dodgy adaptation of what would/could have been the logo. Just to tie it into the blog.

We played around with a few different ones but this more casual chat seemed to work better. I originally had the idea that I would read out a blog post & then the others would butt in with their questions about the post. But when we were recording it that way, it didn’t seem or feel right. It felt like I was talking too much & talking about myself without giving them room to be themselves as well.

So we tried me just reading it with no interruptions, me reading it with interruptions but again they just didn’t feel right. So we played around with more of a breakfast radio type format, of short segments about a topic, I wouldn’t read a blog post but I could bring up one if it fitted the topic. This would then make the blog & podcast separate.

So when we recorded these, on my phone without microphones, it was just to get the feel of the format, which I think worked the best. We were going to re record these or just move onto other topics, so this is a completely raw, unedited version, complete with Lucy’s dog barking in the background!

These are the two with recorded Horror Dates & Ghosting… I still feel like we needed to prep more because some of the examples we used, we not the best, but it was our first recording session.

Horror Dates!

Ghosting!

Let me know what you think of the crazy unedited versions!

#IBD4U

2022 : Daizy #4

I walk past Lucy pretending not to see her because I don’t know what else to do to be honest, I’d asked Daizy if we go up to her or if we just walk past & he didn;t know either… So when she calls out my name, we go over to her & say hello. The guy she is with isn’t what I expected her to be with but he seems nice & says hello to us as I say we are just heading outside for Daizy to have a smoke.

When we come back inside we get another drink, we sit with them & we decide to play pool together, it’s a great afternoon to be honest, the cheeky banter with Daizy, has the guy Lucy is with, thinking that we are a couple & have been together for years. We have a few drinks & a few games of pool. I find out that Daizy fucked someone the night he had the hotel room, so I am glad that I didn’t fuck him that evening too…

We tell this new guy about the podcast & what we’ve been doing, what we’re planning etc & he thinks it s a good idea. I think Lucy may try to get him involved but honestly, it’s hard enough getting the three of us together & then three of us (particularly me) not talking over someone else without adding in a fourth person.

When we leave the pub, I drop Daizy back at his car, we go inside for a bit & some more random recordings, mainly for ideas. As I drive off, I am not one street away before Daizy calls me – also let me tell you he has an old bomb of a car & a tablet for a phone so there is no bluetooth but he’s asking me what I am doing, where I am going. I say that I am going home, it’s a Sunday night, it’s late, I have an hour drive to get back down south. He asks me to pull over & he’ll catch up to me, to go back to his place.

I pull over & he gets in my car. We sit & talk for about an hour. A whole fucking hour on why we shouldn’t have sex… I want too because there is some tension there, but I also don’t want to ruin the podcast, I finally have someone willing to commit to it. I’ve been able to find girls easily but never a guy & I definitely think it needs a guy on it. I finally convince Daizy that I am not coming to his house (his dads house or his sisters, it was never quite clear where he was going to take me) & that I am going home to my house. He calls me again when I am driving home. As does Lucy.

The following week he’s doing a cash job for his mate at Port Adelaide, he’s an electrician so he asks me to come down & see him, which I do… but there is no power so we sit in my car & he sits outside the car smoking, just chatting about the podcast, having a beer while we chat. To be honest, I don’t know what the purpose of this visit was because it was pitch black inside & he was still working there after I left with no power. He wasted the daylight chatting to me! We have the same conversation about us having sex & the podcast. It doesn’t really extend beyond those two topics anymore – not that it really ever did anyway. When it does, I feel like Daizy is talking at me, he isn’t really paying attention to my face because I feel like I can’t say anything against his rants. So I just don’t, I just listen. & then he apologises because he knows that he’s ranting.

He also offers to do a cash job for my brother, so I swap numbers & he meets my brother, his wife & their two kids… I guess he doesn’t care, money is money. But I feel weird about it. He is also been offered a job in Port Pirie, which he starts in a few weeks. He talks about Lucy & I coming up to Moonta to meet him & do some recordings, smash out a whole bunch, which I am keen to do now that we’ve recorded some, I want to record some more & get this going!

The next weekend I have a friends birthday & I am hoping he’ll come with me to it, it’s casual & low key at her house. But he never messages me to say he’s on his way so I get pissed off… He calls to tell me he’ll come over to mine after I’m home that he doesn’t want to be around a lot of people… Yeah ok, whatever. But when I get home I am tipsy & I get into bed, he takes ages to get to my house that I basically just go to sleep. We’ve slept together a few times without sex. The first night be was wasted, another time my boy dog slept between us & he called him a cock blocker & now this time…

The next morning, roll over & hug him, I am not sure what comes over me. I know he is leaving soon so I guess we should get this over with, have sex so he can ghost me. We fool around, I suck his dick but he doesn’t make much noise at all that I stop, he rolls over onto me & slides his fingers inside me, making me cum in a way I haven’t ever cum before that I can remember from fingers. We don’t have sex but I figure that’s enough to see what he will do… He leaves the next day to go to Port Pirie to start his new job on Monday. He calls me on the drive up there & he starts to say things like he’s got to focus on himself & he’s not sure he can commit to the podcast etc. Well that came a lot quicker than I expected & I guess at least he told me, rather than ghosting me.

A few days later, it’s Australia day – I think it was a Wednesday this year, Daizy messages me really early saying that he can’t do the podcast, that he’s walked away from his new job & just needs to focus on himself. I don’t reply as he says that he’s switching off his phone, also as much as I saw this coming, I’m fucked off! I can’t believe this. Against my better judgement, I didn’t get feelings for this guy but I did like him as a friend & really enjoyed the banter & company.

Later Daizy rings me – I thought his phone was off? – to tell me that he has to focus on himself & he needs to get his head right. He’s going to Moonta to sort himself out or some shit. Would you believe that Daizy was in my life for only 18 days before he pulled this stunt! From when I first met him to him bailing on me. 18 days!

I do hear from him in February, he calls at random times like 4:00 am & then says he was messed up, I reply that I thought he was off the drugs & he says shit reply. Well fuck, I’m not here to sugar coat your bullshit. I hear from him again in March when he is in Adelaide & trying to catch up with me but I don’t want to travel north & he doesn’t have a car. When we do talk on the phone he explains what was going on during those 18 days before & after. But he says that he was homeless… Ok that makes a lot of sense because he could never tell me what suburb he lived in. He also says he thought I liked him more than he liked me & felt like I was falling for him. I actually laugh out loud at that & ask what I did, he just said he had a feeling. I’d really love to know what I did to make him think that. However he ends the call by saying “I love you” I assumed as a friend but I have no fucking idea…

I message him in June to see how he is, mainly I want to tell him that his blog posts are going up, I feel like he has a right to know but I get nothing at all from him. Even now…

#IBD4U

2018 : Bonus post: FAQ’s

This blog stemmed from readers asking me questions, in the height of my hey day of blogging! I started posting consistently & it ended up with me posting 5 times a week at one point! Just a few questions answered in the bonus blog!
#IBD4U

I've Been Dating For You

I’ve been asked a a few times why my blog is called “I’ve Been Dating For You”

IBDFU Logo File

It’s a play on words of “I’ve been waiting for you” & I just thought it was funny!

I also get asked a lot how old these stories are. I don’t post as I am dating these guys, mainly because I want to live in the moment & enjoy it but also because I never know what might happen. Many of these stories are quite some time ago, some more recent, they aren’t in any particular order but I do try to keep the time line straight. Especially when posting multiple stories about a guy & when they intertwine with other stories (When I’m trying to juggle men). But rest assured, I do have enough stories over the last decade to keep this blog alive!

I am currently busily writing about…

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2018: Speed Dating #2

I genuinely don’t know how I’ve done this some many times… Always with that glimmer of hope that this will be the one that works! I put it out in the universes that it will be the one that works & then it doesn’t… Yet I still go every time I’m asked…
#IBD4U

I've Been Dating For You

Why oh why did I say yes to going to speed dating again? I am a sucker for punishment, that’s why! Although this time I am a different person, I am totally over my ex, I am on this casual sex dating path that is making me more confident with men & I’m not as shy as I was when I first meet them, plus I’m in a better place with my body image, coming to terms with how I look, so maybe this time might be different.

I’m with a gorgeous skinny friend, so I don’t feel that great about myself with her, but I go anyway I talk to the guys in my usual manner, but as soon as I mention my job title (my real job) I get a few reactions that don’t invite a lasting relationship. One guy reads my palm and tells me something which…

View original post 378 more words

2022 : Guest Blog – The Rebound Guy

Here is a blog post written by Lucy.

The rebound guy
So, I’ve been chatting to this guy on a dating app we are connecting well, and the conversation is flowing, this goes on for a few days until he gives me his mobile number the ole line “this app doesn’t give me notifications” and “I’m hardly on here”. So, I think what the hell he must be a good guy right?!

So, we end up texting and he starts to get a bit cheeky, and I like it, which I get pretty cheeky back, we arrange to meet for a drink on this coming Saturday at lunchtime while our work schedules have lined up. We continue to text every day until Saturday as he becomes more cheekier, I’m getting more turned on for this guy, I want sex, it’s been a while.

He’s nice and charming and says he’s going to book into a hotel for the night if I want to join him for dinner and or go to the casino on Saturday. I said to him I have dinner plans with a girlfriend that weren’t confirmed yet, so I could leave it open as I wasn’t sure if I wanted to at that point, I never make future plans with someone I’ve never met before on a dating app, I mean let’s face it some people put up old pictures on their profiles (I have no idea why its false advertising) and I knew where this was leading.

The day we meet I think he’s cute and funny has those muscles in all the right places, we have a couple of drinks and chat over an hour and a half he asks me about my plans tonight he must think I’m cute to or wouldn’t have asked, he had the I want to fuck you vibe about him which was confidence boosting at that point as I was a bigger girl and fresh on the dating scene after a 3 year relationship.

At this point I’m thinking I want to meet him later for dinner and have a hot night of fun and whatever else (I haven’t had sex in 6 months, I just split with my ex-partner 3 months prior to our date.) We finish the date no hug or kiss, but he says he’s going to check in his hotel, and he will message me when he gets there and unpacks. I say ok I’ll talk to you later.

When I get home, I start to panic WTF am I going to wear?! I literally have nothing! I try on what dresses I have, and I don’t like any of it (my legs look fat in this dress). He texts me saying any news as I said I would text my friend about our “dinner plans” I reply with my friend has bailed on me and I’m free to catch up if he still would like to. He seemed happy to hear and asks what I’d like to do I said how about dinner and drinks, he said that sounds perfect. I’ve never been to that hotel before, so he was considerate enough to meet me in the carpark, he grabbed my hand and held it all the way to the room even when it was sweaty, and I wanted to let go HAHA.

When we get to the room, he gives me a can of CC (Canadian Club) dry, and we sit on opposite sides of the bed it was huge the room had concrete walls kind of ugly I thought. He gets up and comes over to my side of the bed and sits down next to me, he kisses me and he’s actually a good kisser bonus when you find someone who you like to kiss, I said “let’s start in the shower” didn’t take long before we end up in the shower first kissing and touching each other I washed him he washed me you know the lead up to jumping each other like you haven’t fucked in years my hand stroking his cock and his hand on my clitoris, after soaping each other up and rinsing off we dry off a little and take this to the bed!
He says I want to taste you and my reply was I taste fucking amazing! HAHA.

He pretty much shows me he’s in control by throwing me into position god that’s so hot being thrown around the bed as a heavier girl you don’t get that from guys like they might hurt themselves or something. He grabs my hips and goes in for a taste as he’s sucking and licking my clit, I can feel myself getting wetter as the intense feeling of someone’s mouth pleasuring me feels so good, my juices are dripping onto the bed, God I just want this guy inside of me! It’s been too long, and I want to orgasm while we are fucking and not before, he comes up for some air and a kiss (I find it a turn on tasting myself on a man’s lips Lol), I start to suck his cock I believe it’s only fair he has a nice cock its so much nicer if they are circumcised must be the clean freak in me HAHA. I get a condom from the nightstand yes I come packing lol (we used them all through the night). Turnover he says while putting a condom on I’m thinking to myself ‘oh taking me from behind’ ‘I like it!’. I turn over onto my knees and he takes me from behind, OH MY GOD does it feel good to be fucked again, we change positions to me on top men love playing with boobs, we fuck for an hour between three positions and then get ready to go downstairs for dinner.

During dinner it’s a standard conversation I don’t eat all my food as I’m cutting my portion sizes at this point, but he polishes his steak off and half of my schnitzel he pays for my drink and dinner which was lovely of him to do.

We head back upstairs and lay down for a bit still drinking CC’s it’s not long before we are kissing again, if they’re a good kisser, it’s an instant turn on for me. So, we are at it again starting in the shower as I won’t let him go down on me unless I’m clean I’m sure every woman can understand or I’ just super clean and a freak LOL. Trying to fuck in the shower it’s awkward so we dry off and walk to the bed kissing, lips locked all the way which isn’t very far in a hotel room, we fuck for another hour or so in multiple positions, me on top, him on top, doggy, binding ( It’s where I’m on my side with one leg in the air and he is inside me apparently they can get in deep) when we have both orgasmed we are pretty Knackered and just lay on top of the bed naked and fall asleep after a while.


I wake up at 4am and I’m so fucking horny my vagina is screaming at me wanting more WTAF!! (haven’t you had enough?!), he needs his sleep we both study a degree and have assignments due in the next week or so and both of us had said that Sunday was to get some of our assignment done, so I get dressed and go for a walk on the way out he says wait I’ll come with you I’m like No. that’s ok I just have some energy to burn I’ll be fine (sweet of him to ask though) I walk about 3km and return not feeling like I’ve burnt to much energy when I return to the room but I get into the shower as it was a warm summers night and I was all sweaty.

I crawl back into bed and snuggled up to this guy he puts his arm around me and I’m wide awake (rolls eye’s) I lay there thinking I want round 3! WTF is wrong with me?!
I don’t want to wake the poor guy, but I end up fidgeting and moving around as I can’t seem to stay still or get in a comfortable position which wakes him up and he asks if I’m ok, I say I’m fine just wide awake and might need something to wear me out again, he says at this hour of the morning? I guess he’s not an early riser like me. I doze off for an hour or so, and when I wake up, I start to touch him I want more before we get up and leave and he responds with “morning” I say, “are you ready for round 3?’
He kisses me and we are into it before I know it, he takes me from behind and in the binding position and he’s pounding me I have the vibrator handy, and I put it on my clit and I’m coming in minutes I’m so loud! He doesn’t take long to come after me and somehow, I’m still not feeling fully satisfied. Is this normal for other women?

We get dressed and walk to the car park together he says goodbye and gives me a brief kiss and says I’ll talk to you later, we had assignments due in the coming weeks so we won’t have to time catch up again for a bit so I’ll just play it by ear…

#IBD4U

2022 : Daizy #3

Daizy comes out of his hotel… Why is he staying in a hotel? Something is not right about this guy, something doesn’t add up. We go up to his room & share a beer, the room is literally smaller than my bedroom & it also includes a bathroom. We sit there talking & I think that he’s going to make a move but he doesn’t. I get angrier with my friend for taking so fucking long when I am the one who’s worked two jobs & made it here exactly when I said I would be here, now I’m stuck in this tiny room that I could die in, I mean I don’t really know this guy, do I?

My friend & her friend rock up & they refuse to come up to his room or to the little balcony where we could talk more openly, so Daizy & I head down to the bar. As much as I know Daizy is not my boyfriend – not even & there is something about him that I can’t figure out – much like Motocross – I like walking into a pub with him, easy, casual, not awkward, not looking around trying to find someone for a first date, I’m with someone, a friend… I think with this guy I do let the thrill of what it’s like to have someone by your self get the better of me.

The double date is a bit weird. We’re here to see if Lucy’s friend will work well on the podcast. To be honest with you I am surprised this is the type of guy that Lucy is interested in, he doesn’t come across nice or offer to buy her drinks. She has to go buy him one, but maybe they have some sort of arrangement. I find out later that he didn’t have any money & the only way she could get him out tonight was to say she’d pay for drinks. I don’t vibe well with him & I don’t think Daizy does either, but we got about the night having a couple of drinks & planning out the podcast.

When the night comes to an end, I walk Daizy back to his hotel room & he invites me up, I say no as it’s a school night, also I know that if I sleep with him that he will disappear. There is sexual tension there but there isn’t that spark as such. Like sometimes I feel like he is putting me down or judging me or too self helpy. He’s not but that how he makes me feel sometimes… He also it very good at saying all the right things to make me want to fuck him. But I want the podcast more & I think the sexual tension will make the podcast hotter. SO I AM NOT GOING TO FUCK HIM!

He calls me on the way home, he says so me that if that guy is on the podcast he doesn’t want to be a part of it. While I 100% agree with him, I don’t want that guy on the podcast, I now think 4 will be way too many but I don’t like the threat of him walking away when it’s like like he wants it. I reassure him that he won’t be on the podcast at all. As it turns out Lucy & him had a massive fight on the way back to his house & she told him not to call her again.

The rest of the week we chat & text a fair bit via text & arrange with Lucy to actually do some recordings of the podcast! OMG It’s actually happening, I am so excited. We get together at Lucy’s house which is out his side of town, she’s also got a date with a new guy later & is a bit nervous that she tries on all her outfits for me, then when Daizy gets there, she shows him too & I’m surprised when he picks something different to me…

We do some recordings over a couple of hours, mainly working out the format. I had an idea that I would read a blog & then we would discuss sort of like the format of “My Dad Wrote A Porno” but when we recorded it, it was boring & I didn’t like it. So we tried another format, which again didn’t work really well so we ended up with more of a conversation type podcast format… We recorded two of our chosen format for about 10 minutes each, because I wanted to keep them shorter for the commute to work. It is funny – well it is to me, it is unplanned & raw but I like what we are going for. If anyone is interested, I am happy to post the two which are unedited & there is a dog barking in one of them, I am happy to post them for you guys to listen too!

After we do some recordings & work out our format but it gets too close to Lucy’s date so she gets ready & we hang back at her house. I have a feeling Daizy is going to try to make a move, but he doesn’t. Lucy has asked us to go to the pub that she is at & “surprise” interrupt the date. I agree but as we’re walking in to the pub, I tell Daizy that I feel like an absolute fuckwit. As if this guy isn’t going to know that this is a set up.

Again I love the excitement of walking in the pub with Daizy, laughing & having good banter with him. I genuinely like the tension between us, it makes me more cheeky. He buys us a drink & he says he wants to put money in the pokies, which he shoves $50 in the machine & I sit in the chair as he’s just standing -like he knows he’s about to blow this whole $50.

I sit there cheekily rubbing my leg against his, opening up the top button so he can look down my top or brushing his cock with my knee though his pants… Why can’t I be like this with others? Is it because I want a different kind of relationship with this guy so I can be more myself without fear of his ghosting me in a few weeks time? He tells me I have made him hard & he steps back to show me the budge in his pants, he spins his last few dollars in the machine, so I stand up & tell him we need to go find Lucy with a cheeky grin.

#IBD4U

2018: Rotisserie Chicken

Has everyone had sex like this? Where they are just so erratic that you can’t get into it? I wish I couldn’t have but it was way too may positions in a short time that there was no way it was every going to happen. I like a guy being in charge, but this was really not being in charge, he was just confused!
#IBD4U

I've Been Dating For You

New Years Eve plans were to go to a friends house for drinks with a bunch of couples! WHOO HOO! There would be no random hook up, there would be no midnight kiss, there will be no semi-flirtatious banter with a cute single guy (who will probably end up with someone else anyway) & there would be no love story starting in the new year for me.

So I searched online to find someone to hook up with before I went out, Rotisserie Chicken was available, cute & we exchanged phone numbers. We were texting for a bit & I stressed the urgency of his visit since I was getting picked up at 6:00pm, however I told him it was actually 5:00pm so I would have time to get ready again.

He said he’d bring some drinks over, so brought a can or two of something & we just stood…

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2018: Dating Sites

I’m sure I could triple this post with dating sites & things you should & shouldn’t do… But for now I’ll just reblog what I said originally. Because I know I do blog about profiles at some point!
#IBD4U

I've Been Dating For You

I never seem to use the name of the dating sites I use, I’m not sure why, I guess because they don’t pay me to advertise but also it’s kinda irrelevant what site I met all of these dip shits on, they are all the same in the end. But I want to talk about the options, what I’ve been on & how they work for those of you thinking about joining!

OASIS: Free site with app to like someone then chat to them if they like you back. It’s more about the profile & picture information, but you can opt not to have a picture & you can have very little information.

TINDER: Free superficial app, swipe left for no & swipe right for yes. Good thing is there are no dumb usernames because it links to Facebook. You can also superlike people by swiping up which…

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2018: Rimmer

I guess this is why I was still naive about sex, I mean I had no idea what rimming was! Now I’ve tried it & I don’t love it personally so this blog makes me laugh so much at how innocent I was & how far I’ve come!
#IBD4U

I've Been Dating For You

“Would you rim me?”

“WTF is that?” I text back, completely perplexed & obviously a little naive back then.

“Doesn’t matter” So I google – good ol Urban Dictionary! “To lick someone’s anus with your tongue. Called ‘rimming’ because it’s done around the rim of the anus.” Why would a random guy I’ve never even met & I’m about to give my address to, to come over for a booty call, text & ask that, he said it doesn’t matter. Clearly it does otherwise he wouldn’t have asked. I’m not 100% sure I would want to do that, especially not with a random guy.

Is this something that men like? Is this something I would do, especially since this guy is potentially going to be a one night stand. I text this back to the guy & he assures me that it’s not going to be a one night stand…

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2018 : Construction

Sometimes all a girl wants is some good hard rough sex!
#IBD4U

I've Been Dating For You

Construction came up on every site that I was on, he added me on one of the more obscure ones & we chatted for a fair bit because I had a few guys I was texting at the time that I thought I might like more or was further along in the process of hooking up so I just kept him in the background.

Eventually we swapped numbers & were texting late one night, when he asked to come over. I said sure that I was in bed in my pyjamas, he said he’d just wear footy shorts (not sure why he told me that).

We didn’t talk very long before we had sex, all I really remember talking about was how someone died on his worksite that week, he seemed to be a bit vague about it but he’s the one who brought it up. I think perhaps that…

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2022 : Daizy #2

So as you can imagine, I can’t help it, but I get so pissed off by people who run late or people who say they’ll be somewhere but aren’t. I am always insanely on time & if I say I am going to be somewhere, it is fucking rare that I am not there or that I run late. I’m not sure if this is a good or bad quality of mine…

Precisely 7 minutes later I get “5 my phone died.” Rightio. But yet it takes him another 10 minutes to get to my house, another pet hate. Why can’t people just be fucking on time. I always over estimate so that I show up a bit earlier, or should I say 5 minutes & really mean 10? Actually, I usually tell people exactly what my GPS says, so there are no surprises. Maybe I’m a weirdo, but whatever, I can’t help it. I hate waiting around, my time is just as precious as other peoples, why do I have to sit around waiting for someone that I didn’t really want to come to my house anyway?

When he walks in Daizy kisses me on the cheek and I notice that he’s changed his clothes – um why?! He’s now wearing tracksuit pants. He meets the dogs, we both get a drink – he’s brought some cans of something & we sit on the couch, but somehow even though he only had 2 beers at the bar about 3 hours ago now, he looks so fucking wasted like he’s drunk 10 beers. How did he get so drunk on the drive up here?! Did he drink on the way? Had he taken drugs? How could be be so wasted… He also has brought in a head massager, you know those wire things that look like a wire hat, he tries to get me to take my hair down so he can massage my head but I say no. WTF.

He acts (or is) so fucking drunk that he’s stumbling around my lounge room, unable to sit still but unable to stand. The dogs sit on the couch with him & he calls them cock blockers – I think that’s not what’s blocking your cock dude! Would it even work at this point? I figure he’s going to have to stay here the night, he’s so off his head right now & I don’t know what on because there is no way he is just drunk! He confesses later that he smoked weed – which I suspected, this isn’t a surprise, but this isn’t stoned type behaviour. I press him further on what else he’s had & he tells me that he’s also had some Xanax. Oh FFS. I guess he’s definitely not driving home then!

We don’t kiss or have sex that night, I mean he’s fucked off his head, I didn’t want to have sex with him anyway so this isn’t surprising. He does try to leave at one point, when I won’t have sex with him, like a petulant child & I just tell him to get back into bed & go to sleep, which he does, I can’t let him drive in this condition all the way back out north. He falls sleeps easily, snoring most of the night so not only do I not sleep but he also is passed out on my side of the bed, basically on my pillow, so I have no room in the bed to move or any covers to cover me & because he’s so passed out, he’s harder to move than my 30 kg dog! I haven’t slept overnight with a lot of people before, but usually you can kick a person a bit & they roll over, he did not. He didn’t move all night & when I wake up – if you can say I woke up, I awake up to a huge dribble patch on my sheets where he slept.

I get up & get the dogs up & start to get ready for my clients, I wake him up when I need to get ready to go to my little business. I don’t normally open on Sundays but sometimes I have a client. He hasn’t left my room & I need to get change, so I slip last nights dress off over my head, standing in just my undies, no bra, I put a bra on & then another dress quickly, but he looks up as I am mostly naked putting on a bra & says “Aww, don’t do that!”, I giggle & innocently say “What?” Well I guess he likes what he sees in the sober light of day…

I get him out of my house fairly quickly, having to leave early & I leave him in the driveway saying goodbye, honestly, expecting not to see him again because not only did I not fuck him, he was fucked off his head & seemed a bit embarrassed by how fucked up he was… I like the guy to hang out with but there will be no hard feelings if he ghosts me.  

I am with my client just before 9:30 am & he texts “Your bed is so comfortable” which stupidly makes me smile when I see it on my watch, then a follow up text asking for my email, that he’s going to set up some checklist app that we can all share ideas for the podcast on. Well he’s keen & remembers what he told us he’d do last night. I like that about it, his motivation for the project is infectious.

When I get home, on the bedside table on his side of the bed (not that it’s his side, but the side he was supposed to sleep on) I find what looks like some tubular sports bandage & an eye mask – what the fuck was he planning on doing last night… I shove it in my top draw so my family don’t see when they come over tonight for dinner. Also why did he have that in his car?!

Around lunch time he tells me to come to the beach for a swim, but I am asleep, having a nap, something I rarely ever do! I was so tired, I think we slept at 3am? But I also had terrible heartburn, something I get from eating or drinking too much sugar. Then when I don’t reply I get a bunch of messages in a row “ill buy you dinner” “no tryna fuck ya, just business” “ya can’t blame me tho course ur pretty hot. It won’t happen again” “imma hang at the beach & read all the blog” I haven’t even seen one message yet when they all come through. I reply that he wouldn’t have remembered having sex with me anyway & that my family come over tonight, so I don’t hear from him again.

There’s something odd though, why is he always at the beach? Why doesn’t he seem like he has somewhere to go… I can’t put my finger on it. But there is something not entirely right about this guy… My curiosity will make me keep dating/meeting him to find out.

My family are over, they’ve been there for about 2 hours at this point & I go into the bathroom to wash my hands, when I see a fucking bright yellow condom in the decorative plant on the vanity. Daizy had gone out to his car in the morning & brought one back in saying I’d have it for next time. I show him my stash & say that I don’t need it & to take it with him but that’s where he leaves it. FUCK. I quickly hide it in the draw & hope no one saw it, especially the kids. I message him to tell him off – obviously as a joke & he just sends a winky face back. I ask him if it’s flavoured, trying to keep the conversation going & he says try it. But I say that there is no point in a flavoured condom, I mean who sucks a dick with a condom on? I say that glow in the dark, flavoured & ribbed are a waste of time, he says that “even talking about condoms is a waste of time” I ask why & he calls me. I can’t answer so I reject it, I can text but I can’t chat on the phone. Sometimes people don’t get that, I mean I can text quickly while doing stuff like working (when on a call or in a video conference) but a phone conversation about condoms is going to take a bit longer, I’m not having that conversation around my parents. So I ignore him & call later.

By Monday Daizy has created a account on an app that we can use to brainstorm ideas for the podcast. He tells me to call him when I can & he’ll give me a crash course, but when I get a chance to play around with it, it’s pretty simple, I’m not an idiot when it comes to app & computers… I call him later in the evening & we chat for a while… Mainly about the podcast & sometimes he slips in how much he finds me attractive & we chat flirty for a little bit too. I like the chemistry that we have, the flirty chats we have… It’s so refreshing to have a guy want to talk, not just to get sex… This is a lot of fucking effort if that’s all he wants…

Tuesday night I get a message asking what I’m doing & that he’s got a hotel room in the city, that if I’m free we could grab a meal. I have a couple of clients after work but say that I can be there around 7:00pm. He says yeah & I think this is a perfect opportunity to see if Lucy & her mate that she wants on the podcast – see if there is dynamic there. I rush through my client, with Daizy messaging me to bring drinks to his hotel & we can all meet there, there is a private balcony, I don’t reply as I am with a client, so then he calls me, a few times, I have told him that I am not going to be finished until 6:30pm & it’s now 6:35 pm when he says “is this happening or imma go get laid” Oh for fuck sake, I am not going to have threats & shit like that when I am on my way to meet him… I got held up for fuck sake, not that I am playing games! He knew I was at work.

I call him to tell him that I am running late – he should understand this concept very well & that I’ve also spoken to Lucy who won’t be there till 8:00pm. Jesus, they all knew about this at 5:30pm, I’m the only one who’s had to do a client after work & get into the city… He also tells me that he’s not ready & will need some time to get ready. Oh fucking hell. We hang up after I’m snappy with him, he’s trying to get me to come to the hotel because he’s not ready & Lucy is on her way, like fuck me. What the fuck have these people been doing for the last hour?!

Daizy calls me again to buy him cigarettes but I say no, I tell him I’m on my way still & he says to come up to his hotel room. But instead, I go park in a side street & send a video to Marvel of me sticking my fingers inside me, something cheeky to make him want to see me this week. But Daizy calls again & again so I go park near his hotel & wait outside it, for him to come get me, like a hooker…

#IBD4U

2018 : Bunk Bed

This is was in the beginning of my casual sex phase… I was so naïve when I started the casual dating thing… I didn’t think it would be so hard, but being a little shy in the beginning, made it hard when they were shy too…
I guess I’ll never know what happened with Bunk Bed!
#IBD4U

I've Been Dating For You

On the casual dating/sex journey, I was so honest about what I wanted with everyone that I talked to, so there was no confusion. If I invited them over, I expected to have sex with them,  which is why it surprised me slightly when a guy said ‘I want a connection with a girl before I sleep with them.’ I actually thought that’s ok, since this guy was working away in Port Pirie, sleeping in bunk beds, we chatting online every night for a little while before we swapped phone numbers.

When I invited him over one Sunday night, neither of us were free till later so he arrived at 10:30pm, we talked a bit on the couch, in the kitchen, but he made no moves what so ever to kiss me or anything. I just assumed that he didn’t feel the connection with me, even though he didn’t…

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2018 : Cruise #2

I hate when you know someone is lying to you & you don’t know why… Like did he want to get away from me? What was it that made him lie?
#IBD4U

I've Been Dating For You

To my surprise, 7:00am I hear my phone bing as we must be back in Australia & I have a friend request on Facebook from Cruise inc a message, since he doesn’t have my phone number yet. I reply back but as we’re doing a Sydney tour & flying home, I don’t talk to him much more that day, but when I am getting into bed, I send him a text with three things that I am grateful for (one of the little jokes we did, a couple on the cruise told everyone that they always went to bed saying three things they are grateful for, we did it after we had sex as a joke).

We texted a fair bit, he’d send me picture quotes every morning with a hello (including one about how distance doesn’t matter if you really like someone) & I was surprised when he called me…

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2022 : Daizy

I know I said I wasn’t going to date in my 40’s & technically that is true, except that over Christmas holidays, after I end my blog & Covid is running rampant though Adelaide due the boarders being opened, I find myself just sitting at home playing games on my phone. Marvel is offline (as you know I was still seeing him when I signed off my blog last year.) – because I know they are on holidays thanks to the whiteboard by his front door. He won’t come online till they’re back at work & he doesn’t – Mr predictable.

So during this time, I create a online account, why I am not sure but I get matches pretty quickly. I had also during this time asked Valvoline for a catch up, he took days to reply that yes he was keen but I never replied, thinking what is the point, he has moved even further north & in late January 2022, he’s commenting on someone’s posts all the time & I’m assuming they’re about to get together – which they do, so much for not wanting to be in a relationship. Much like what happened with Elvis – who I also noticed deleted me from Facebook, also happened with Milky, also Origin (who now has a kid with the chick he was with after me). So all a guy needs is to date me to find the perfect girl & all a girl needs is to be friends with me & she’ll find the man of her dreams too. FUCK.

I join a dating site that has a friend section on it too because to be honest, I have started playing netball – with a club but everyone in my team is either a little bitch, too young or not very friendly – lets just say, like my life, netball isn’t going how I thought it would. I wanted to meet new people, hang out etc but that hasn’t happened so I join online thinking that perhaps I can make some new friends. Having spent 2020 & 2021 losing people in my life that I thought were friends due to the letting them live with me & fighting my old workplace, I decide on another option.

Like I said I get matches pretty easily but they never go anywhere, I match with a guy that is in a band that one my friends used to make us stalk every weekend, we have a great chat, he even tells me that they made it big in LA & shares his Spotify with me, he asks me out & I say yes then decide I better listen to their album, which I do but I never hear from him again… WTF. This reminds me why I gave this up!!

But I stick it out because stupidly I paid for the fucking app – without meaning too, it keeps a reoccurring payment for a couple of weeks before I remember to turn the fucker off. But I meet Daizy on there – it’s not a long time chatting (Like minutes’ worth of chatting) before he tells me that he wants to meet at the beach, that he’s on the way down there for a top secret chat with his mum. One of the things that always makes me cautious is someone that wants to meet quickly & keeps wanting to meet even you clearly aren’t interested in doing so. But he gives me his number & I message which prompts him to call… He’s a caller… It’s Thursday night, it’s at 9:54pm. I am a nanna in her 40’s so I am already in bed. We chat on the phone – he talks like a tradie, you know the type that swear & sound a bit rough around the edges, but I like his sense of humour, it draws me in. He’s funny!

He tells me about the thing he’s got going with his mum, a raw chat with her son about a topic he won’t disclose… & while I like the deeper side to him, considering the way he talks, it’s kind of becomes frustrating that a) he won’t tell me what he’s doing but also that never shuts up about it – always saying I won’t go into it now & b) when he gets to self helpy, I just want a frivolous conversation sometimes, not a D&M every time we chat (spoiler – we chat more than once!). In fact it’s not even a D&M because sometimes he just talks at me & I don’t even know what to say, nor do I want to say anything for fear of saying the wrong thing, because he pulls me up on it – making me feel childish. I honestly am realising from a bit of a fall out with another friend when I went to visit her, that clearly I don’t know how to be a friend… This clearly proves it.

But I tell him that I’ve actually been working on a podcast too, a recording if you will (Which is true, since I ended writing in December 2021, I’ve been focusing on finding the right people for it, a friend wants to be on it & I think because she’s dated a lot she will be good for it, with stories but really she’s just a clueless as me (hahaha) as to why things happen so that makes me apprehensive about her but it’s only going to be fun so who cares, lets all give it a shot, now to find a boy! (still yes, years later!) I tell this guy all about the idea of a podcast but don’t really go into depth about the blog. A friend once told me that I shouldn’t ever tell a guy about it – that I’m interested in, that I should take it to my grave!

Daizy & I text a bit, later on, once he’s done his thing with his mum but it’s after 11 & I am almost asleep so even though he says he’ll let me sleep, he tries to call about 30 minutes after we stop texting but I ignore it as I can’t be bothered talking while almost asleep.

The next night, Friday night, he tries to come to my house again – a few texts & a call & he wants to either meet by the beach or at my house both sound like a murder mystery waiting to happen so I decide on no, he does another recording with his mum which he says that perhaps I might be able to help with my writing knowledge & passion for a podcast, I still don’t even know what he is doing or what the topic is so how can I even begin to help… So I just try to go with it & keep saying to him to say hi to his mum for me. But again it’s late & I just say that I am headed to bed.

The next day Saturday I get a message “time & place tonight & ill see ya there” did we make plans & I was so sleepy that I don’t remember… Well I figure that I should perhaps meet him, he’s more persistent that any other guy… We make plans then he calls me to confirm the plans – I like that he doesn’t forget things easily, I have to giggle when he asks me what I’ll be wearing, I say that I don’t know but later text him to say that I’ll be fairly casual. I mean when you think about it, it’s not a date, we’re meeting in the interest of helping each other with our little side projects right…? I don’t need to look perfect in a date outfit with perfect hair & make up – besides we have to wear a fucking covid mask anyway…  

We meet at the pub, he calls me as I am sitting in the car – I am waiting a few minutes so I am not super early, he walks over to me as I am getting out of the car, we hug a hello & he looks at what I’m wearing & says “you are casual, aren’t you?” Um… am I? I’m wearing a navy hoodie dress in my favourite brand LSKD with little white sneaker things. My hair is up in a top knot & I think I look cute & casual… Short dress but basically a long jumper. He’s not wearing anything special, I mean he’s wearing a red hat that makes me think of Fred Durst – which I tell him later would probably be his blog nickname & jeans & a t shirt. Like not like he put on a dinner jacket, why is he commenting on what I am wearing!?

We go inside, he pays for a drink & we sit down chatting, it starts off with me spilling the beans about my blog & podcast… He asks lots of questions, again avoiding any that I ask about the shit he has planned with his mum but he says multiple times that it’ll change the world basically… Well it’s never going to change the world if you won’t even tell me about it. It’s like he’s scared that I am going to steal his idea or something… Believe me, I have my own ideas, I don’t need to steal his to develop.

By 8:30pm I have sent him the link to the podcast I was on in America & a link to the start of my blog! Within another 10 minutes, I’m on the phone to my friend – who is going to be on the podcast – Lucy, asking her to come meet us for a drink too.

Daizy is witty, enthusiastic & while he’s easy to talk to, it’s also hard to talk to him too. I can’t explain it. It’s like he always wants depth to the conversation but he talks like a proper foul mouth tradie that he doesn’t know how to get the depth so he talks at you, not with you, if that makes sense. But as I said before, I think I have trouble having those in depth conversations with people. I mean I can express myself in my blog but I struggle with that type of intimacy, even with a friend…

I am though having a good time with my new friend Daizy & my friend Lucy, when Daizy messages me in front of my friend “Tonight at the beach?” Hmmm, what? I blurt out why have you text me tonight at the beach, he instantly says oh sorry that’s not for you & so I get pissed off… I couldn’t care less if this guy is fucking someone else, but fuck me, accidently texting me while on a sort of date (or whatever this is) with me that’s meant for someone else is just fucked up… I don’t think that’s ever happened to me before. But whatever, I am over this date/meeting now, it’s getting late so I pick up my stuff & we all leave, I don’t want to be here anymore, so I stand at the car, hug him goodbye. Lucy & I chat, saying what a fuckwit for texting someone else about the beach to me accidentally, he had said that he hadn’t saved my number in his phone so I guess it could have been an honest mistake… Whatever…

While I’m standing there chatting with Lucy about Daizy & if he’ll be good for the podcast or not, which I think he will, Daizy then sends me a text “Wanna fuck or ill never bring it up again” then “Come to west beach boat ramp.” Well first thing I am not fucking this guy at a boat ramp after he’s just text someone else to meet them at the beach – is he fucking kidding me?! Not only that but it’s the first day of my period & I am in agony (my first day is always so painful!). I tell him to just meet his friend at the beach, which around 9:30pm, no stress. All good.

I’m on my way home now anyway. But he calls… FFS. He asks where I am, which I have already left & too far to turn back now to meet him at the beach – probably not but I can’t be assed with this shit. I also have a client in the morning at my little business, I’m a nanna so it’s time for bed. But by 9:40pm when he assures me that the message to meet at the beach was for me (yeah right, I bet whoever it was for said fuck off too, so he’s trying again with me!), but he says that I made him embarrassed in front of Lucy asking about it & so he panicked & said it was for someone else. WHAT? That’s so much worse than just admitting that he wanted me alone… I mean why would you say it’s for someone else if it wasn’t?! Does he not understand the woman’s brain at all!?

Somehow he talks me into letting him come to my house, I explain that I won’t be having sex with him. But somehow, I am texting my address to him. If he’s right behind me – which he is, he’ll be there shortly after me so I need to get home & sort the dogs out & tidy up a bit, I have no idea what my house looks like at this point… FUCK. I get home just before 10:00pm & listen out for every car that drives past, stalking my outdoor camera. I am getting tired, my wine buzz is wearing off, knowing I have to get up for work tomorrow… Fucking hell, it’s 10:10pm, almost an hour since we left the pub & nothing… I start to get angry, but I did tell him to get mixer as I only have wine or spirits in my house, perhaps he’s stopped at the petrol station for some soft drinks. But even then he shouldn’t be this long… So I text at 10:30pm “Are you far away?” because at this point, I’m about to turn the lights off & go to bed!

Crickets!

#IBD4U

2018 : Willunga

I remember this guy, only because I wrote about it on the blog, but I at the time in my life, this was seriously the best I’d ever had… I didn’t even know that a random boy could make me feel that way…
This was when I truly realised that sex can be so satisfying without meaning anything.
#IBD4U

I've Been Dating For You

WOW! Yep, that’s how this story starts, without a doubt this guy was (at that time) the best sex of my entire life. Now I haven’t slept with bucket loads of people (despite what it may seem like though out this blog!) but I have a few notches on my bed post. Willunga was the first casual dating experience, we texted a bit & when he started texting asking me for my photo I was reluctant to send it on, but he said he deleted his online account. When I sent my picture from my online account through he eagerly text back ‘Your Hot!” quickly followed by “You can have me if you want me’ but he said he hadn’t done this type of thing before but would be keen to give it a go. I should go easy on him as he might be a bit shy to start with. I…

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2018 : Catastrophe

Oh Casual dating! This has to go better than dating. I hear stories all the time of people ending up with their fuck buddy. Surely, if I try this, no strings attached, the same will happen with me!
#IBD4U

I've Been Dating For You

As I get more & more jaded from meeting bloke after bloke who seem all interested, I then finally get interested in them & then they just stop calling or replying to me. So I thought I’d try the casual dating thing for a while – Definition: no strings attached sex.

To be honest, I thought it would be a lot easier, however it is a lot harder than you may think, not only am I busy, but of course he has a life too, so trying to arrange a time that both of you are free is quite difficult. So when this guy started chatting to me one Saturday night & asked if I am spontaneous I thought “yes I am, the new casual me is spontaneous” we swapped numbers & I text him just before 10:00pm, he said he was going to jump in the shower & would…

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2022 : Repeat Offenders

Welcome to some new 2022 content! This is a long one but you asked for it to be long, not two short posts, on my Facebook page, so here it is!

As you all know (if you were a regular reader) I decided to finish writing this blog in 2021 & not date… However I was planning on reblogging more of my old ones, but this website doesn’t make it easy to schedule a reblog! So I’ve not been good at it… I wanted to post all my blog posts again before I posted new content, but we’d be here forever!

On to 2022, I’m not going to spoil it with my current relationship status but you all know (again if you were a regular reader) that at the end of 2021 when I posted “The End” that I was still single. So it makes sense that there will be some dating in 2022 to write about – which I have, despite me also swearing off dating, pretty much every 2 weeks!

So what has been happening in 2022, I hear you ask! Well, fuck all because I haven’t really been dating however it wouldn’t be my dating life if there wasn’t something going on right? Why is this called repeat offenders. Well because 2022 has been the year of the call back. Somehow random boys have come back in 2022.

Below is a link to the original post or posts that I posted about these repeat offenders for you to refresh your memory about what happened with them & then I will explain what has happened in 2022! I’ve done it this way because there isn’t much to report on some of them to get their own blog post, but these are stories I need to tell… It all shapes who I am!

  • Tom Cruise / Tom Cruise #2
    • Yeah fuck, I dated this guy twice already & he basically ghosted me both times. When I match with him again he calls me instantly – it’s after midnight on a school night, I am almost asleep in bed. But I was just chatting on the dating app, so I answer the phone.
      He talks about how he can’t believe that I am single & that I am perfect, the perfect 10. I am literally not buying this bullshit from this guy. I get off the phone after I agree to go out with him.
      3 days later I hear from him again – I figure if I’m so perfect, I shouldn’t have to chase this guy, that I am not that keen on anyway. When he says that he has his daughter & her mother came over for dinner & she (mother – doesn’t read as he means his daughter) is his number one, I think this is a little weird. He asks if it’s ok with me – I say it’s good they’re both in his life. But yeah it’s a bit fucking full on if he is saying his ex & daughter are his number one… Why isn’t he with her?
      I then get a message “My ex wants to talk to you and go for coffee” ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? First how does she even know about me at this point. I haven’t even had sex with this guy or met his child, to be meeting his ex & mother of his child! WTF. Then he writes “I’m joking babe fyi” OMG. Heart failures.
      He asks if I am free the next day, I say “Probably free around 7:30” he says that’s fairly early but he’s happy to do breakfast. I explain I mean PM but he says lets do something different. Yeah ok, being I think this guy has a drinking problem, I think that a breakfast will be good – however he suggests a place near his house – remember he lives 40 mins from me. I now work 4 mins from my house so if I meet him at 7:30am, I have to leave the restaurant at 7:50am to get to work on time! He offers up lunch in the city, again I work 50 mins from the city, I would have to turn around before I made it to the city to have lunch, to be back at work. He says “let me know when you can then.” Oh whatever dude!! Don’t pick a time when I can’t make it then crack the shits when I have to say I can’t make it.
      The next morning, after feeling semi shit, I do a RAT & I am covid positive. I let him know so he doesn’t think I am being difficult & why I can’t see him for 7 days. 3 days later, no reply, so I say “Thanks for caring.” Nothing!
      10 days later at 7:33 pm, I get “I only realized you msg on the other day! Late reply and sorry, how are you?” No fucking way! Not even proper English! I don’t reply & never hear from him again!
  • Goodwin / Goodwin #2 / Goodwin #3
    • This fellow is always trying to catch up with me, but the days that he say he wants too, I am reluctant but say yes – because I still need sex right but then he’ll message & say he can’t meet or something has come up – usually he’s still in his office. Oh whatever!
      He still comes back into my inbox asking to catch up or seeing how I am. If you remember this guy is super ripped & could probably get any girl he wanted, he’s a cute Heath Ledger type but he keeps going for me. Saying he wants good sex, not a relationship. He keeps messaging, in fact he asks me to join him for a 3sum one night, which I ignore the message till after its over & reply then, saying that I hope it was fun. Yeah – Great tactic!
  • Foodland / Foodland #2
    • I dated this guy twice over the course a few years, only twice. I think we had sex on the first date & then he made me hold his hand on the second date even though I had said I didn’t want too because I thought it was too intimate. Yet he grabbed my hand then ghosted me.
      Over a year later, he still watches my snapchat stories & has been recently sending me snapchats & replying to mine a lot. I know he has a girlfriend, she’s on his Facebook cover picture. He also confirms that he has a girlfriend when he asks about my relationship status.
      One day I’m entertaining the chat with him, against my better judgement when he says he wishes he was stalking me or some other cheeky comment, I remind him that he could’ve had me twice. “u didn’t msg me either by the way not saying I’m in the right cos clearly I’m not but just saying” OMG does he really want to go there? Because I can go there! I send him a screenshot of our texts the last three were from me, with no replies. “Thanks. you’re welcome. I had fun too.” (After the date) “… Can I just ask, why did you even want to hold my hand so desperately?” (A few days after that message) “You’re a strange unit. Best of luck. ” (A few days after that message.)
      When he sees that screenshot, he says “Shit well I am sorry” Why is he even bothering now when he has a girlfriend anyway, who he tells me he met 4 or 5 months after our hand holding date. Fuck you Foodland. 4 or 5 months! He had me but he kept online dating anyway… Fucking prick!
      When he keeps saying shit about how he wishes we did more etc, I remind him how many opportunities he’s had with me, then he says “I think it’s worth noting that sometimes actions don’t line up with what someone wants in their head. Plus I’m someone who’s not good at communicating feelings and what I really want. Not that I blame u but I’ve always said to you u perception of what I think about you isn’t what I actually think… saying that I understand why u feel that way” WTF does that even mean?
      He continues to reply to my snap stories & he offers to help me with a plumbing issue, but yeah I don’t understand this guy at all…
  • Max / Max#2 / Max#3 / Max#4 / Max#5 / Max#6 / Max#7 / Max#8 / Max#9 / Max#10 / Max#11 / Max#12
    • One morning I wake up to a message “Hey freaky girl, you still on this account” from Max. His cute little face in a round messenger circle on my phone, I toy with the idea of not replying because lets face it, if you read these 12 instalments, you’ll probably see why. But, yet again, against my better judgement, because it goes exactly how I think it will, I say yes. Then a day & a half later, he says something about how he snuck into my house to find me in bed. I read it & decide not to reply. I mean in 2020, I messaged him to ask if he could give me some insight on what I am like as a person on a date, perhaps I am doing something that puts guys off & this guy has dated me & is honest with me, but he replies saying something about the brain & how I am asking the wrong question, I shouldn’t ask what I am doing wrong but ask what can I do to make my next date better. But he gives me nothing. Yeah thanks dude!
      The next day he says “Not going to bite?” I reply saying what is there to say? Like really, he’s still married, he still has issues with communication so what can really happen here? Part of me wants too, but all of me is sick of being treated like shit by men. When he replies “You had a lost to say on your blog” I think about what to reply to that.
      I explain that my blog – like I say all the time on here, that it is my diary, my version of events & it’s just how I saw things playing out. He doesn’t have to agree with my story, he obviously reads it so he can write a reply if he cares so much, I’ll publish it, cos I’m just as intrigued as you are about what goes through men’s minds. He says a woe is me reply though “Sorry to have bothered you.” I don’t know why I reply, I know this guy is going to ghost me again, it’s just a matter of time. I ask what did he expect & he says that guessing what women think isn’t his superpower being he thought I would say we had fun. I’m not going to deny that, we did have some fun, but the bad outweighed the good in the end. He says “You seeing anyone seriously at the moment?” I say no so he replies “Have any new things in your toy box that you’ve been waiting to try out?” I say nothing new & he reads it & ghosts me. again.
      Well that interaction actually lasted longer than I expected but I am still kicking myself that I was the fuckwit that was ghosted. Why did I message this guy…
      If you read this Max – you know who you are, either make a consistent effort (especially when you’ve got. Lot to make up for) or just don’t pull at that thread!
  • Dom Dom / Dom Dom #2 / Dom Dom #3 / Dom Dom #4
    • So I’ve never really stopped talking to Dom Dom, he’s always been around. Comes & goes in my life when he makes the time to talk to me. This year is different though, I am more standoffish with him & it makes him act like a needy chick – I even say this to him at one point… What is it? Now I don’t reply to every message instantly then wait days for him to reply, he asks if I want to see him, if I want to keep talking to him, chucking a tantie. Really.
      He even tries to catch up with me one day when he is in my area. I say that I don’t want too, I know that he says that it’s just to catch up & chat, like he wants to do, but I can guarantee when he is in my house, he’ll start stroking his dick, then he’ll get it out. Because I am attracted to him, I’ll do it, even though I really don’t want too & then he’ll cum & leave instantly, leaving me feeling like shit… What is the point?!
      He doesn’t understand this of course, he assures me that it’s just to say hello, I know it won’t just be a hello. I am stupid when it comes to men, but I am not that stupid with him… I don’t want to keep seeing married men & never getting what I want. What I deserve. Just a snippet of a man when he has time. I never catch up with him, but we do still chat – however he really doesn’t like that it’s on my terms when we do!
  • Donkey
    • I just love a call back. We chat a few times since his blog post. I never caught up with this guy, nor did I ever intend too, he was so much drama & seems even though he’s left his wife, or she left him, he still has drama on the app…
      He messages & I don’t reply so I get a message “bump” which is apparently a new things to make their message go to the top – okay then!
      He asks how things are going & how things are with my renovation, I say nothing has changed really, that I’m not on the app much, but even having said that & having taken days to reply to his message, he adds me to a group which I am kicked out of like 5 days later for being inactive.
      I don’t know why this guy keeps messaging me, I have never shown any interest in him to catch up, he’s a slut on the app & constantly shows his dick to anyone who will look at it, so why would I want to go there… Again, I am trying to wait for what I want & what I deserve, not some loser chasing every chick on the apps.
  • Valvoline
    • So after posting the post about him in late 2021, I knew that I wasn’t 100% attracted to this guy, but thought we could be friends, see each other a little & see where it goes- maybe attraction needs to build sometimes – so I’ve been told. He’s told me he’s not looking for a girlfriend, so that’s ok, we can be friends.
      I send him a message to see if he has time off over the Christmas break that we could catch up for a drink or brunch, not a schnitzel? I don’t think much of his delayed replied, but I get one 24 hours later “Hey, I think I’ll be working through except for public holidays but I’d still love to catch up from brunch.! Hahaha yeah maybe not schnitzel lol” I don’t ever reply – for 2 reasons. Looking back I realise now while writing this, he didn’t say no, but in my mind at the time, I felt like his late non committal reply, with no date offered, that he wasn’t that interested. So I didn’t message him back. (Reading back on this I realise how dumb that is) but it’s how I felt at the time.
      A week or into the new year – there he is tagging & being tagged on Facebook with a chick, who is now his girlfriend & less than 6 months after saying he’d love to go on a date with me, he is being tagged in house listings on Facebook by her every day! It’s uncanny how I can predict the future! Hahaha.

The saying “you can’t make this shit up” I wish wasn’t true… I don’t know why this crap keeps happening to me, or what I do to attract it considering I have been working so hard on myself too. I thought the blog was part of the reason I attract shitty men, because it’s a funny story. But having ended it, I realise that there are so many weirdos out there, all willing to come back for more!

So I hope you enjoyed this insight into 2022 & what some of the last 6 months has been like! It feels so good to write again!

#IBD4U

2018 : Vesty

Hasn’t everyone had a night like this, where you wake up wondering where you are, what happened & why you had so many drinks?!
#IBD4U

I've Been Dating For You

Let’s go out dancing, she said, just a few drinks, she said, a quiet night out, she said. Famous last words! We drank glass after glass of wine, we danced dance after dance to the craziest DJ I have ever seen, he played ‘Paradise City’ by Guns & Roses, standing on the window sill hitting his chest, then at the request of my friend he played Barry Manilow. It was a crazy  crazy night. My friend had gone outside to kiss a boy she’d hooked up with & I sat inside with the crazy DJ as the place cleared out.

I think I fell off my chair & my friend started drinking someone’s beer they left on the table, somehow out of nowhere Vesty appears & we start kissing, then the ‘ugly’ lights come on, all the while I’m still kissing this guy. The bouncers kick everyone out &…

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2018 : Cruise

Oh the joys of a travelling romance… How I miss these with Covid. Not that I probably would have travelled anywhere in the last 2 years but still… I miss this!
Another reminiscing blog from July 2018.
#IBD4U

I've Been Dating For You

Meeting someone on the second to last night of the cruise I went on, was not at all what I expected, especially since I hadn’t even seen this guy around the ship at all, other people you just constantly bump into. I was happily sitting in the ‘nightclub’ having a few drinks with my travel buddy when a very drunk guy asks if he could sit down. I said yes, not really interested in him but we chatted as much as you can with someone so drunk you can’t understand their words. His friend came & sat with my friend & they started talking. When the guy next to me got up & left, probably because I wasn’t talking to him so I turned to talk to my friend & the other guy “Cruise”.

When Cruise got up out of his seat & came & sat next to me…

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2018 : Maloo

The nice guy doesn’t always win & that sucks sometimes… I imagine what this could be like sometimes, being he still messages me every now & then, even though he has a partner & two kids!
#IBD4U

I've Been Dating For You

Have you ever had the sweetest guy ever, that wants to date you but for you there is no attraction at all? No matter how many times he tells you how gorgeous you are & how many times you end up kissing him, there is still no attraction for you. However he’s on the backburner all the time because after all the shit you’ve been though with guys that you are attracted too, he’s there to pump you up & make you feel good about yourself.

Maloo always seems to know when I am down in the dumps & will message me, or make sure I know I am gorgeous. He’s like the perfect guy, just not in the wrapping that I want, which sound superficial, but he’s just not my type. I wish on so many occasions that I felt something for him, he always picked me up from…

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2018 : Perth

I genuinely can’t imagine doing something like this now. This was content from July 2018. I must be growing up!
New 2022 content post is coming soon!
#IBD4U

I've Been Dating For You

I had been so busy with a new job that I hadn’t had time to give my friend all the details of the job & what had been happening, she suggested a night out to celebrate, so we locked it in for Friday night.

I arrive at her house & we have a little platter of food for dinner & a bottle of wine each, it’s about 9:30pm when we decide to head out calling her uncle to drop us into the city. I honestly don’t really remember much about the night, it is all pieced together later, but waking up in a hotel room, in a fancy hotel, with a guy was not at all what I was expecting.

I wake up at 7:00am & try to make a run for it, but Perth wakes up & walks me to the taxi, shoving $20 in my hand, I…

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2018 : Batman #2

I do have some new content coming soon! But in the mean time, here is some of the old stuff, posted back in July 2018, here is the next instalment of Batman!
#IBD4U

I've Been Dating For You

Batman comes back on the scene via text. Really, what is wrong with me? Am I so desperate & starved for a little bit of affection that I allow men back in my life who have already done something to hurt me? How tragic I must be.

Batman & I text for a week, he talks about how bored he is & how he hasn’t been out since we caught up last, he texts me on Saturday morning & so I again ask him out, suggesting that we go out for a drink that night, he says I’d love to but probably have to work on Sunday, I kind of give up on him then, by 3pm he text & said yeah he has to work. Fed up I just reply with the good bye message not wanting this to drag on any longer. I say ‘you’re obviously busy so…

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2018 : One Arm

Online dating is so superficial. I didn’t know what I was going to do if this guy really did only have one arm!
He never did come back in my life, I am not sure why he messaged after the date – especially straight away if he didn’t feel the spark…
#IBD4U

I've Been Dating For You

One of the most superficial things about online dating is the fact that you have no idea how old the photo is that the person has posted & also sometimes you can’t even tell if they only have one arm or not! I’m not sure how much it would have mattered that he only had one arm but I showed about 20 people his photo to see what they thought but no one could work it out. In the end he did have two arms, so all was well but I still can’t understand what happened with this guy.

We texted for a while, spoke on the phone & arranged a date, a walk on the beach. Now at this point in my life I was feeling pretty ugly & fat, so when he suggested the beach I was so unsure what to wear, I had no cute dresses or…

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2018 : Boyfriend

This is a very short version of my one & only real relationship… Summing it up in one blog probably didn’t give it the air time i needed, so I do have a second post later in the blogs.
In some ways I wish I was writing back then but also glad I didn’t… It’s hard reliving some of this stuff. #IBD4U

I've Been Dating For You

There’s nothing quite like the feeling of believe that you have it all at 24 I really felt like I did. I’d found a guy who actually liked me, we’d been together for a few years, we’d traveled together, we’d have bought a house together but when it all comes tumbling down around you, you feel like you’ve hit rock bottom. I went out with the only man I’ve ever been in a relationship with for three & a half years before he broke my heart, waking up one day & saying ‘he can’t do this anymore’. I don’t think I’ve ever fully recovered being that he couldn’t tell me that he loved me. He said that he’d said it too much & wasn’t going to say it again until his wedding day, why did I actually stay with this guy for so long?

As my first boyfriend, it…

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2018 : Pilot #2

Ah Pilot! I always wondered what happened with him… This isn’t any clearer! Hahaha.
Has anyone else been so over the shit that they can’t even cry? This is the beginning of me having a heart of stone & never opening up to anyone… Until
#IBD4U

I've Been Dating For You

I can’t even tell you why I would deactivate my online dating account several times in one year only to reactivate it & create another account on a different site all in one week – But I did, I must be a glutton for punishment, because I’m beginning to realise that online dating doesn’t work.

I really have to feel sorry for Batman after our first date, because on Saturday afternoon, Pilot started messaging me through one of the sites. By Sunday night Pilot gave me his phone number again & against my better judgement, I text him. We text for hours, back & forth about absolute crap, but it gets a little flirty! I mentally start to sticky tape my imaginary dreams back together!

I still had a niggling feeling about Pilot so I continued to text Batman too, not sure if I am one to play the field…

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2018 : Crush

I don’t think I’ve had a crush like this in a long time, this was probably the last one. I genuinely don’t even know who this was either. How hilarious!
#IBD4U

I've Been Dating For You

I had a crush on a guy, for the first time in a very long time but what is a crush? The Urban Dictionary defines a crush as: a burning desire to be with someone who you find very attractive and extremely special. Is it really a desire or is it just an over thinkers nightmare?

Personally I am a major over thinker, ask my friends, I think they get sick of me talking their ears off about the same scenario over & over. With every guy that dicked me around I would analyse what they said, what I did, what I could have done differently, what was my fantasy scenario if I had of done that differently… Jeez, no wonder my head is always at the point of explosion!

But what is the point of a crush? With all the idiots that I’ve dated I was at a…

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2018 : Roommates

Well hopefully I’m not alone here with this type of interaction… I was heartbroken (little did I know that #Boyfriend was not real heartbreak!), I didn’t know what else to do. They say the best thing to do to get over someone, is to get under someone else… I 100% not recommend!
#IBD4U

I've Been Dating For You

After my boyfriend moved out of the house we owned together, I decided that it would be a good idea to get a roommate, help with the mortgage & also maybe make some new friends as I was in a pretty low place in my life.

I advertised in the local newspaper & two boys called, one was 18 years old & the other my age, however he never got back to me, so I asked the 18 year old to move in, by the time he was settled the other guy asked if he could move in too, both of them agreed so I ended up with two boy roommates. Big Mistake!

It was also about the time my friend dumped her fiancé & we started partying together a lot. Both going through similar things, we went out every weekend & also some week nights. We partied…

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2018 : Marlborough

Been a month since I re-blogged an old blog… Sorry for being MIA.
This story is also a weird one, has this ever happened to you? Why do people just ghost you? I’m pretty sure this was before ghosting even had a name!! Hahaha.
#IBD4U

I've Been Dating For You

Marlborough was one of the first guys I ever met up with from online. We texted & chatted on the phone for about an hour, I remember him saying ‘how easy it was to talk to me’. We met for coffee & a movie, he was quite late, but text me that he was stuck in traffic so I bought my hot chocolate so I wasn’t sitting there like a loser. He showed up (thank god) & the date went well, we were laughing easily over the selection in the candy bar. He paid for the movie which was sweet, I tried to pay for the candy bar selection but wasn’t allowed to do that either. At the end of the movie, he suggested another coffee which he paid for, during which he tried to set up another date for Thursday but I couldn’t commit as I wasn’t sure what…

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