Noddy #6

Noddy & I wake up in the morning, it’s Easter. My rolling around wakes him up & he says “Morning gorgeous” & tells me he loves waking up next to me. I can’t really reply to that because I am emotionally retarded, I mean I do actually love this, I haven’t done this for a fucking long time & it was biggest fantasty with Noodle but I have a stupid brain that basically won’t let me tell this guy how much I like this… But I have also stupidly bought him a Easter egg, which I am now too embarrassed to give him. I get up twice before I get the courage to say to him “Oh look the Easter bunny has been.” He doesn’t really say thank you or seem to appreciate it, just putting it on the bedside table. I feel a bit dumb but he cuddles into me, then later on he does the same as yesterday, he makes me a cup of tea then goes outside for a smoke before coming back into fuck me.

We’re chatting about the group & he says something about sending a picture to the group of him in my bed… While I want him too because I remember how much I hated that Noodle & I were a secret, I am very aware that it’s only been a few weeks with Noddy. This will put pressure on us from everyone in the group. I don’t want to push this guy, I am very aware that I am liking him too much being that he’s stayed at my house basically all weekend, & there are so many red flags with him. He’s only just got out of a relationship… I am not over my previous relationship or whatever the fuck that was… I don’t want to hurt him just as much as I don’t want him to hurt me…

But he sends the picture & everyone knows… He’s in my bed… I secretly am happy but I am also concerned about what this will do to us… This is still new & fragile… I don’t want pressure on it.. I want to see where this goes without pressure or expectations.

We get up & eat leftover pizza for breakfast. I’m brushing my teeth walking around doing stuff when I see him in a bandanna & he says “Well… Obviously” just like Antoine Dodson & I literally spit my toothpaste everywhere & choke on the toothbrush. Fucking hell this guy is so hilarious, just exactly the sense of humour I want. Exactly what I am attracted too!

We sit around on the couch again watching Revenge & I now wish because of our conversations, if I offered to go exercise, I want to exercise with him, show him that side of me, but all I did was show him the fat slob side. As we’re sitting on the couch, I tell him that my family will be there soon for family dinner & he says that he better go, but he starts kissing me & we end up fucking quickly, both cumming hard. He tells me that I gave him “Fuck me eyes” I remember Noodle saying that I gave him ‘fuck me’ eyes before, but what the fuck are fuck me eyes? Whatever – who cares, I mean if I gave him that sign, it’s fine, I did want him to fuck me before he left. How much sex have we had this weekend!

As soon as he leaves, I empty the bathroom bin of the condom graveyard, have a shower & my parents rocks up 20 minutes after he leaves… Fuck that was close! Hahaha… My parents are never first to my house, nor are they ever early – like EVER! I message Noddy to tell him that was fucking close! Hahaha… No guy has ever met my family, well besides boyfriend. I wonder how some guys would react if they did meet my family?! I think he’d be ok with it…

Over the next couple of days Noddy & I talk a lot… He tells me that he’ll always be there for me to lend an ear & he’d do that for any of his friends because they’ve all helped him… He tells me that brought a tear to his eye… I tell him that he’s a good guy & he tells me I’m amazing. I offer up a hug if I could (which is so unlike me, but I am feeling for this guy right now) he says “I know you would. And that’s why you are amazing too” I tell him that we’re very alike in some ways but very different in others. He says “Yeah… I agree, it’s great having you in my life even if this ends up going nowhere & it’s just a fling… I’d be glad to call you my friend & someone I know. You are a great person” He wants this to be a fling? FUCK… I am so stupid! I have been really thinking about this man & being in his life & he wants me to be a fling?! I write back thanks with a smiley face because I have no fucking idea what to say to that… “Sorry, not trying to scare you away haha. That sounds bad… yeah.. I don’t have a great vocabulary when it comes to some of these things” I say that he didn’t scare me, but I am not sure what to say, because it’s true… He says that he just wanted me to know & I ask “You want me to know that I’m a fling?” he replies instantly “What no… that you are amazing & even if it ends I still wanna be friends” I have heard this from Noodle before… & look how well that turned out!! Hahaha… I mean can you really be friends with someone who’s been inside you?

Noddy beg for approval.png

I tell him later that I am surprised at how much I actually like him, which is so unlike me, I never tell guys how I’m feeling because it usually comes back to bite me in the ass. I surprise myself by telling him this & he says “Nwwww, that’s cute as fuck. Thanks heaps that means a lot to me. You are amazing #IBD4U. I love spending time with you.” WOW… I didn’t expect that from him… Though I guess this guy does tell me more than any other guy so far how much he likes me… He sends me a shirtless picture & I tell him off because I’m horny. I say “I’ll send you naked pics when you’re horny & see how you like it” Then I realise that’s a stupid threat. He tells me it’s the best threat ever. But he’d prefer the real thing than a picture “Fuck pictures… I’d rather get in the car” It’s good that the distance isn’t going to be a problem, I really was worried about that… So many guys tell me that the distance isn’t an issue, then it becomes one. I tell him that I don’t send nudes often anyway because of my breast reductions scars from 6 years ago. He says “Yeah… I get that… but they look amazing… Fuck the scars. I think they just define your beauty even more… Shows how much you’ve been though” JESUS CHRIST this guy is smooth as fuck!

I need to put a wall back up here… I mean I met this guy in the chat app & I’ve seen it ruin lives… I mean, mine for one with Noodle… It ruined his & his partners… I am so cautious of people, but I’m also trying not to tar him with the same brush. He says “Even if you do, I’ll wash that away & show you a different colour… Take as much time as you need. I’ll be here, it’s what I do” Oh really? Wow… While he doesn’t know my history & I’m going to avoid telling him the ins & outs if I can about Noodle, if we get that far, but I am glad he’s willing to take this slow & see where it goes. I pose the same question that I posed to Noodle once or twice “Why me?” he says “The mystery. The previous encounters. The beauty. Something I’m not used too. Maturity, deep conversations. I won’t lie, I used to go for stupid little girls all the time… Sick of the drama.” Well I’m sure there is drama with me, I won’t deny that! Hahaha but he says there is a lot less.

He tells me about some drama with his ex girlfriend today, he tells me that she’s been messaging him, wanting him back… FUCK, I feel a pang of jealously! Most people do go back, I mean look at Noodle… However I listen & try to be subjective, not like a jealous chick listening into his private conversations with a conflict of interest. He says “It’s good to talk to someone about this shit, & when I’m with you, I forget all about that shit.” I am glad he can talk to me & I say so, but “I don’t want to just be your rebound fling & get hurt myself” Even though I know that I’m the first he’s been with since her, he says “I don’t want to hurt you at all. That’s the last thing I want to do. You are an amazing person” I tell him that his fling comment has me a bit worried. I’m not going to lie either. “Yeah but please don’t panic… I don’t want you to think anything into it too much… I don’t want this to be a fling. It’s just I wanna be 100% honest with you about what’s happening. I feel it’s the only right thing to do” Fuck I love how mature this guy can be… While he doesn’t always say the right thing, he sometimes says the most perfect thing to put me at ease… Maybe too at ease… But I am glad I am letting my guard down with this guy… It kind of feels right…


Noddy #5

Wednesday comes & Noddy comes over after work, we start to watch a movie but are more cuddly this time this time from the start, I am not normally a cuddling person so I’m surprised he’s gotten me to this point so quickly. It feels good to just have a few drinks with him & sit to relax – feeling comfortable with him. He seems more at ease at my place, he tells me before that he’s going to bring work clothes. He gets addicted to the TV show I’ve been watching which is really old, Revenge, but I watched a few seasons when it was on TV but didn’t watch it all so I have no idea what happened. He watches it & gets engrossed in it, but we end up going to the bedroom to have sex, he talks a lot more this time as in dirty talk, which I like & enjoy. We fuck a couple of times before he says that he can’t stay as he got halfway here & realised he forgot his boots… I am disappointed but it’s a school night so it’s ok if he leaves. But he could just get up earlier & go home to get them – since his house is on the way to his work, but he decides not to stay over. That’s ok, like I said I don’t sleep well when he’s over so I am ok for him to go home.

I wake up the next morning, rolling over & actually disappointed that he’s not there, fuck that was an unexpected disappointment… I look at my phone to find a message from him at 1:52 am “OMG… I can’t sleep again. Haha. I have you on the brain so bad… I’m sitting here thinking about how I should’ve stayed… And how I’m going to make it up to you when I come over tomorrow night. I can’t wait to see you. And I can’t wait to feel you squirm underneath me. Or feel you laying on my chest just relaxing on the couch. I hope this was a great message to wake up too. Haha. Good morning” WOW fuck yes that was a good message! I am wishing he stayed but he’s planning to stay at my house for Easter a couple of nights. We’ve discussed exercising & going out, so it should be a good weekend & it will be the longest I’ve ever spent with a guy in 12 fucking years! I am liking this guy too much… There are red flags everywhere, why has he been able to break down my barriers so easily & so rapidly? Probably because he’s such a smooth talker…

On Easter Friday I am at my families house, he says that he’s going to come over about 7:00 pm, I had in my head that it’d be a little earlier than that so when I get home, I clean my house. I am always conscious of that fact that my house is apparently “too clean” as per Noodle but I mean this is who I am, I can’t be anything different from who I am. I hope that Noddy doesn’t use that I’m too clean against me, he’s already told me I have an eye for interior design, a few times actually…

He comes over & we have a few drinks watching Revenge again, he’s been so invested in it, asking me what is happening every night that I watch it. When we’re kissing on the couch, he goes down on me, which is so fucking good, it actually surprises me that a guy so young who’s had the same girlfriend for the last 8 years, but I’m happy that he is good at it. But I sit up, once I’ve cum & he looks alarmed, I kiss him & tell him that I want him to take me into my bedroom & tie to the bed & do what he wants. A smile quickly spreads across his face, I mean what guy could ever say no to that…

After we fuck & I cum & cum, he cums too, I realise that he’s not very cuddly after sex, usually jumping up to dispose of the condom then gets dressed going out for a smoke. This is when I usually like a cuddle. I lay there & look at my phone, I jump in the chat room & see a comment to me which I reply too. Noddy then jumps in & says “Damn, Why are you awake gorgeous girl” I say that I tried but couldn’t sleep so he says “Bahaha… well… Cuddle someone amazing… and sleep bitch hahaha” That’s about when he comes into my room laughing. Demon then says “Eww, stop being cute guys” so obviously he’s told her that he’s at my house. Noddy says “Never I’m a cute cunt” & Demon posts a picture of Antione Dodson (for those who don’t know who he is, it’s a YouTube video from a few years ago. I’ll post it so you can see, it’s hilarious!) Noddy doesn’t know who he is so I show his this video.

I show Noddy the video & we literally laugh our heads off while entwined with each other. He starts posting the lyrics in the group but then I decide to go to sleep, so I say goodnight, Demon tells Noddy “Look after her” & I smile, putting down my phone, knowing she is not a threat or anything I should be jealous of. She’s a proper girl code chick, these 2 are just friends. Noddy does the same, putting his phone on the bed next to him & rolling over to cuddle into my back, he spoons me so well… It’s been so long since I’ve been spooned & I fucking hate that I like it!

The next day we laze around in bed. I wake up a million times to him either snoring, talking in his sleep or because I’m hot because he’s too close, being that his phone has half my king sized bed. We toss & turn taking it in turns to spoon each other. I always find it weird when I spoon him that my head is like halfway down his back. I contemplate telling him we should go for a run, exercise or something, but I just want morning sex, which I get. He gets straight up & makes a coffee & makes me a tea then goes out for a smoke.

When he comes back we have sex again… I mean I can’t help it… When we get up I cook him breakfast of bacon & eggs… I have bought bread rolls, which I don’t eat on my carb free diet & so he says that I’m a legend for getting them for him… Yeah I am stupid, I do things like this then feel stupid, like buying him cans of coke I drink sugar free lemonade so don’t usually stock coke in my fridge. We sit around on the couch all day, as it gets later, I keep thinking we should go exercise or something, we’ve been talking about it, so why not… He says he wants to help me. But I don’t, I stay in my nighty thing while he heads out smoking. Some reason we’re talking about how many times we’ve fucked & I say “Who’s keeping count” He’s almost out the door so he turns & bobs a bit putting up his hand & says “Yo” I literally burst out laughing… Fuck I am so attracted to someone that can make me laugh with this kind of banter! Damn you Noddy for breaking down these walls! FUCK.

noddy pure love guarded woman

About 3:00 pm or so, he comes inside & says “I’m going to have to go shithead”, I don’t even know what to say, he was supposed to stay here tonight too… I can’t hide my disappointment, I can’t stand it when people bail. I ask what’s happened & he says that he just got a call to say his mum was in a car accident. FUCK. I tell him to go, that’s fine. I do say that he can come back if everything is ok & he says “really?”, I say of course being that I was planning him being there anyway so I am not doing anything. I hope his mum is ok & he leaves to go to the hospital. I have to say that the cynic side in me doesn’t really believe his story, I mean I have no reason not to believe him, but I never heard him on the phone & it conveniently happened while he was outside… Fuck there is something wrong with me… I can’t help but think this shit!!

Later he texts me when he knows his mum is ok & I say that he can come back to see me, I tell him that he’s welcome to bring his weed (not that I am into that, but I know that he is & wonder if that is a reason he doesn’t stay. Max used to smoke weed at my house, so whatever) & just chill with me & a few drinks. He says that he’d really like to be there – I don’t think that he will come back, but the offer is there – it’s a lot of petrol to & from my house. But to my surprise, he gets back to my place about 7:00 pm that night. We have dinner, that I cook, healthy salad & meat & just relax on the couch. He smokes his weed so I think that makes him happier & more relaxed… He tells me that this is the healthiest he’s eaten in a while too. He tells me

We go to bed & have sex again, I swear to god, I can’t wait to not use condoms with this guy. I am getting my pap smear in a few weeks, where I’ll have a STI check, following all the drama with Noodle’s partner blaming me for her STI… Just another check to make sure I am ok still – it’s been about 6 months since my last STI check & time for my next pap smear so may as well do it again since the dr will be up there… I am planning to ask him to get a check & then we can have unprotected sex… I hate the disruption of putting on a condom. I wonder if he is going to be ok with that conversation, it basically means we’ll be exclusive… But I’m not ready to call him my boyfriend but I’m ready to say that we’re not fucking anyone else…


Rob Rob #3

So I’ve mentioned Rob Rob a lot throughout my stories, he’s always in my messages chatting to me sporadically, he’s been chatting to me again, but again always on his terms, when he’s free & when he can chat. Then he disappears for days coming back to say that he’s trying to be good & not be online – if you remember he is actually married. However I always fall in the trap of having phone sex with him over the chat app or texting him pictures of me in lingerie & all sorts. I don’t know how I get wrapped up in this guy. I guess he’s the only real dominant man in my life that sets me tasks or makes me do things I don’t really want to do but they turn me. I really need a proper dominant partner!

We’re chatting one day as usual & he asks me to add him to my kink chat app group but I say no & change the subject. Firstly if he wanted to be in it, he could just find it, he knows how to use the app, he doesn’t need me to add him… But now the shoe is on the other foot, hahaha, I don’t want to add him to the group because I know that there a chicks in the group that would message him & he’d get caught up in their sexting & he’d forget about me. What a fucking turn around! So messed up!

Rob Rob never too busy.png

One day I’m driving home, he starts messaging, I’m home early from work & he’s being suggestive so I say that he should come over, he says he wants too & really if he got in the car when he started suggesting it, he could’ve made it to my house, fucked me & then got home all before his wife, without being suspicious. However he doesn’t. I get home, get naked & video chat with him while we both cum – me more times than him, as I am told too. Again after that he disappears.

When he comes back we chat a bit, I try not to reply straight away, but I am always free when he messages, it fucks me off. One afternoon, I’m having some man trouble, with Noddy& Rob Rob just tells me to message him & stop the bullshit… It’s not my bullshit. I don’t get why this guy has suddenly changed…. But then Rob Rob asks me what I’m wearing. Next minute I’m sharing my erotica fiction – scene one – Nipple Bells while clipping on my nipple clamps & sticking a vibe between my legs while he tells me to video myself cumming. I am waiting for permission to cum as he is off doing something else as fucking usual, he’s not paying attention to me while I’m cumming for him. I tell him that he missed out because I already came. He says he was reading my story but I don’t think that’s entirely true as the messages sit at sending for a while.

I do as I’m told he tells me I’m a good girl then tells me to cum again. I ask if I can take the nipple clamps off which he lets me. I’m thankful, I was using another vibe on the nipple clamps, which turns me on even more but they were beginning to hurt. He makes me cum for him 3 more times in a 20 minute period then asks if he gives me a task would I do it? I say of course. But when he asks for me to fuck someone tonight, I know I can’t do it. I don’t want just random sex with a loser guy, I want to have regular sex with a guy. Doesn’t have to be my boyfriend but just someone regular, someone who isn’t trying to fuck everyone!

Later that day usually he’s offline as soon as he gets what he wants, so I’m surprised he’s chatting to me most of the night – where is his wife? I guess, mainly because he wants me to find someone to fuck tonight & video it, which I am not that keen on right now. As if a random guy would want to video us having sex?! He asks what I’m doing & I say that I’m watching TV & writing, he asks what I’m writing but I avoid the question, just like I do with every guy when I tell them I am writing (Why do I ever tell them that I am writing? I have told Noddy I’m a writer too!? Of course they ask what. I just say that I’m a freelance writer for some blogs about health, beauty, travel & love. Hahaha.) I don’t want them to know that I am writing a blog about them, I mean this guy is even has a couple of posts & is mentioned a fair bit… But he asks me again to I tell him. I end up telling him that I have a blog, I am not sure why I do. He asks to what it’s about & when I tell him he asks to read it. I tell him that he’s in it, which he doesn’t seem to mind. He says that the stories will turn him on because he’s heard about them as they were happening, since we used to chat a lot, I used to tell him about the guys I was fucking, I’m pretty sure he’s been one of the only guys that didn’t act jealous when I told him about the guys I was fucking. Guys say they don’t get jealous & want to hear about it but then they act weird. Rob Rob may get jealous wishing things were different, I guess, but he never acts weird about it.

He starts reading my blog & tells me that I’m a good writer (I hope so! Hahaha) & it was good for him to read his post. He starts to get worried people will know who he is, but honestly, it’s only obvious to him because he’s reading about himself. No one else will ever know, I try to be as respectful as I can to the guys I write about, it’s not entirely their fault it didn’t work out with me.

The next day Rob Rob calls me on the way to work to chat, we chat about the blog & the stuff going on in my dating life right now. He tries to get me to meet him for lunch as he’s home from work, but I say no as it’s my day in the office, however when my boss isn’t at work that day I suggest we meet for lunch as I can leave the office but he then he says no, I should wait to see what happens tonight… WTF? I don’t think I will ever understand men!

I’m also a little surprised though but also a little chuffed when he tells me that he considers us to be friends, bound by kink. I mean I agree, but I never thought he would say that to me! I guess these douchy dominate guys don’t come across to have a heart like they really do sometimes. I mean I was always the same with Noodle, when he said he loved me, I never thought those words would come out of his mouth!


Noddy #4

The next morning I wake up at 5:00 am, I can’t sleep. WHAT THE ACTUAL FACTUAL FUCK HAPPENED LAST NIGHT?! I toy with the idea of deleting Noddy, Demon & the guy she’s fucking (though it turns out Noddy had the wrong dude! So I would’ve deleted the wrong guy Hahaha.) But I decide not too, I calm down a bit & decide that I need to find out what happened… I actually chat to Rob Rob about it ironically, yes I’ve been chatting to him again, he’s always around, he tells me to give the guy a chance, to find out his side of the story, maybe he didn’t get lost for 3 hours with Demon? Because that’s what I think happened… My mind goes weird places sometimes… Maybe he did try to find me, but then why wouldn’t he message?

I decide to write him a message when out to brunch with my friend “Hey, what the hell happened to you last night?!” I wait with baited breath for his reply with comes 20 minutes later “Heya, was gonna ask you the same thing, you just disappeared after I went down for a smoke, I came back up & your friend said you were playing pool, but I couldn’t find you” Why didn’t he text me then? “You realise that was like 3 hours apart you going for a smoke & me playing pool? I was actually waiting for you to come back up for ages” Like really Noddy? “Fk… I didn’t… Not at all, I’m sorry, time isn’t my strong suit. Hahaha especially when drinking. You should’ve message me… like oi dick come back…” Yeah he’s right, I should’ve text him but he should’ve come back without me having to be a nagging wife… “I just assumed if you wanted to hang with me, you’d come back I’m not going to beg you. You also turned me on quite a lot, I was actually going to ask you to come home with me, I’d already kinda decided that earlier but was trying to be good, but then you were kissing my shoulders… mmmm… oh well” I hope he realises what he gave up last night “That’s fair, I feel heaps bad… I just get sidetracked so easy when I drink.. Fuck… You have no idea how much I adored you last night… You looked stunning… I’m sorry I missed that opportunity, I’ll make it up to you. Well I want to.” We chat about it & realise that we both should’ve done different things that night, He understands why I am disappointed & he says that he’s genuinely sorry he missed me in Rope. I tell him it’s ok, I do rope for me so it doesn’t matter if he missed it. He reads it & never replies the rest of the day but chats in the group… WTF dude… I don’t understand this guy sometimes.

Noddy suck at flirting

The next day again he chats in the group but not to me – again, sending pics of him working on cars & whatnot, so I take matters into my own hand, I am done with games. Either this guy is into me, or not. Doddy says he thinks I became victim of weed, losing track of time, so I think I need to see what this guys deal is – Doddy also gives me snaps for being so bold to message Noddy first. I message & ask if he is free to watch a movie at my house after my family dinner. It’s Sunday night so I don’t expect much to happen, I have the next day off, so I don’t mind if it’s a bit later, but I know he’ll have to work tomorrow about an hour from my house. He says “Hell yes” that he wants to come over. I tell him about 8:30 pm – 9:00 pm that my family will be gone, I send him my address but tell him that I will message him when they are leaving. They start packing up at 7:50 pm, it’s earlier than usual for school holidays so I message him, knowing the drive is about 45 minutes to my house. He tells me that he’s already on his way & was just going to park somewhere so he was here as early as possible… OMG that’s so fucking cute!

He gets to my house & I offer him a drink, he can’t decide what he wants but I tell him can have anything from my bar he wants, I have also bought cans of coke while at the shop for him – like some kind of loser that I am. He finally decides & we watch ‘Suicide Squad’ because the next Switch theme is Gotham & I haven’t ever seen a batman movie, which no one can believe… We cuddle on the couch but my back has been heaps sore lately that I get uncomfortable, so we move a bit then we end putting on ‘The Dark Knight’ but don’t watch it all because he kisses me, we get naked, well I am in sexy lingerie for him – which he probably doesn’t deserve, but I want to show him who I really am. He doesn’t take it off me, because I think he likes what he sees, he goes down on me which is so good, when he slips his fingers in me, I am scared I’m going to squirt so because we’re on the couch, I ask to take this to the bedroom which he agrees.

He goes down on me again, & he’s a lot better than I think he’s going to be, I cum quite hard enjoying the pleasure that I haven’t had from another guy in a few months. I push him down on the bed & suck his cock, knowing I won’t be able to get this in my mouth, but I try to take it all, he seems to enjoy it but doesn’t make a lot of noise. I climb on top of him kiss his neck, which he seems to love… He shivers the whole time but I want him inside me. He then flips over so he’s on top of me again, asking for a condom, I pull one out, he slides it on & I brace myself. But he fits inside me well, I’m surprised his giant long cock doesn’t hurt me – very surprised. He fucks me well, making me cum before he says “I’m not gonna lie, I just came” I giggle & say that’s ok, I’ve already cum so it was ok & he’d gone down on me for ages, making me cum multiple times.

We lie around talking, cuddling for so long, I lay on top of him kissing his neck which when I rub my hands through his hair, he gets goose bumps all over, I get that he likes it so I keep doing it… When he’s had enough, I look at the clock it’s almost 2:00 am. I want to ask if he’s staying but I also don’t want him to think I am trying to kick him out, I do want him to stay over but I also don’t want to be too eager. So I finally build up the courage & he says he should go, but doesn’t move, we keep lying there chatting & I just say to him “Turn off the bloody light” with a giggle, which he does & we snuggle down to sleep. It’s been so long since I slept with someone all night, it was so good. I actually don’t sleep well with someone in my bed but I do like him there. I am sort of sleeping when his alarm starts going off, we cuddle closer & he says “Good Morning Gorgeous” & I wonder what the fuck my face & hair looks like right now. We kind of close our eyes but his phone keeps going off. I want sex so we start kissing & have some hot morning sex before we get up. We talk a little bit more during sex, as I notice us loosening up with each other, where we do connect. He gets up & gets dressed but says he doesn’t want to go, knowing that I don’t have to work today. He says that he should call in sick, I say yeah call in sick & giggle knowing that he should go to work, I tell him to go. But he takes ages to piss fart around before he actually leaves.

He messages me later in the morning to wish me luck for my day, knowing that I have a job interview & I thank him for that. He knows that if I get this job, I will have to buy a car, he’s offered to come look at the car with me, being that he’s a mechanic. I am stupidly excited about this, I know I said I didn’t want a relationship, but this is a very boyfriendy thing to do & I feel myself soften to him even more. Later we talk about a 50’s housewife & he googles dresses to send to me in my signature colours, I think it’s hilarious but also adorable. We arrange for him to come over the following Wednesday after work & I almost can’t wait to see him again.

During the week though, he tells me that he’s got some bad news, I wonder what it is but I don’t want to pry. He tells me that one of his mates was beaten up by her partner. Having been though a domestic violent situation with my friend recently, I understand how it affects those around it too, because you think about the things you should of done, the signs etc. I offer him advice & let him know that I have been though a similar thing recently, I don’t talk about it much but I feel like he needs to know that I can empathise with him. He says that his friend is in the hospital & he’s going to feed her animals. This guy is so busy, he’s got so much going on, but yet he still makes time for me, he still makes me feel special. I am so glad he’s this type of friend, because it’s the same as me… I would do anything for my friends, anytime that they ask me.



A reader brought to my attention some show’s coming up at the Fringe soon & it promoted me to write this blog, not really about dating but I guess about kink – in a way – which also seems to be the number one question from my readers, always asking about kink. I am no expert, but I am more than happy to share what I know. However, the fringe for those who don’t know is a festival every year in Mad March in Adelaide. But interestingly, I had been to this fringe show that my reader suggested.

Adelaide is a small city but in March everything is in Adelaide. We have The Fringe – a festival with comedy, dance art etc events. We have a car race called Clipsal 500 – a 4 day car racing event in the streets of Adelaide, we have WOMAdelaide – A 4 day music & dance festival in the park, We have the Adelaide Festival – a festival of other arts such as dance, opera, plays etc. There is also Writers week – which involves a program of events to showcase writers. Now I believe from my research on this matter, there is now Tasting Australia at the end of March 2020 – which is for foodies… No wonder the rest of the year we are in hibernation.

So my little home town comes alive in March & the weather is usually hot, it’s just a great time to be in Adelaide. Little summer pop up food trucks & bars come out of the wood works, it’s just a great place to be… If you’re not from here & looking for a visit, I suggest March for a visit here. It’s amazing. The garden of unearthly delights is the best atmosphere & random shows are always a good laugh!

Anyway, back to my lovely reader suggestion. She sent me though the Adult only bubble show & said that I should go as they boast that they are a kinky show! OOOH… intriguing for a gal like me, right?! However I actually went to this show in 2019! Hahaha!

So the display picture for the show is a stripper heel, you know the black patent leather strappy platform – that to be perfectly honest with you, looks like it’s seen better days (why wouldn’t they get a brand new shoe for a promo poster?!) It’s an upside down foot & shoe, there is a piece of string around the heel, so one would assume that the woman is lying down using the string to being the foot up towards her… with 2 bubbles on the string that’s pulling the hell… There is a big bubble on the sole of the shoe… The lighting is dark with a purple background. it actually looks pretty cool but I am studying the picture now to describe it & it’s looking more & more tacky! Hahaha.

The event blurb:

“Mix one part physical theatre, one part bubble artistry and one part neo-burlesque, and you get a soapy concoction of kinky, in-your-face theatrics. A raucous and raunchy affair with a surprising story arc full of abstractness and the slightly grotesque, a surreal performative experience that wonderfully showcases the technical prowess of bubble art on a first-class level. Every bubble trick in the book shown in the naughtiest way possible.”


It sounds so fun, right… For a self proclaimed kinky chick like me, it sounds like it’d be right up my ally. An hour long kink show for only $20 (As I’m a member!) Yep this is something I need to go too.

A couple of friends, the couple I met at the Play party & went to Maslin Beach with were the ones who suggested it, I buy the tickets & one extra for my other friend & we head out to the Garden (As it’s called for locals) to see this show. I am actually excited, I have been to Rope shows before as you know. When I went with Milky I was mesmerized. I went to other shows as I got more & more into Rope as you know so I thought this would also wow me.

This show, while amazing what they do with bubbles was not kinky nor was it at all risque. I mean when the woman took off her bikini top, they covered her in bubbles then she quickly ran off stage & had a different costume on – so you didn’t even see boob or nipple really… I would expect nudity at a kink show. The show is dripping with innuendo & sexual themes, but it’s not really what I would call kinky… Definitely R18+ because they do have a lot of innuendo, (plus they do do a kids show, this one is adults only) but not what I would call a kink. I guess unless bubbles get you off!

I may be desensitised to kink perhaps, with all the things I have seen, done & experienced in the past few years to really find this a kinky show, while I enjoyed it, laughed a lot & really was thinking “How the fuck do they do that with bubbles?” I didn’t really think it should be given a kinky tagline.

I think if anyone is looking for a show this year in 2020, they should see this, it was a great show! I am not at all saying it was shit (like some shows I have seen over the years) This was a great show, they are supremely talented with bubbles & I was intrigued the whole show. But just don’t go expecting it to be kinky… I mean I am not sure what I was thinking it would be like, but maybe like I said I am just too close to kink now…

If anyone goes to see it this year, it’s about $25 or cheaper if you’re a member, please let me know what you think! Or if there are other kinky shows I should go too, let me know!


Noddy #3

On the morning before date 2, Noddy messages me to say “Good morning gorgeous” & to tell me that he’s sick… OMG not this old chestnut! Origin was synonymous for this, always waiting till the day of our date bailing… I feel like Noddy is setting this up so he can bail on me! However Noddy says that he hopes it’s nothing because he wants to see me tomorrow night. I say “I hope you feel better” after he says to me “Hope you have a great day today” almost cutting off the conversation, which he reads then never replies too – righto!

When he starts chatting to me again later in the day he tells me later that he was overthinking that I didn’t want to chat to him… I mean he was the one who kind of ended the conversation, so I don’t know where he got that, but he finally messages me hours later, to see how my day was. I always refuse to write to them if they read my message & don’t reply. I never not reply to messages – I try to think of something to say, so why do they do it to me?

Later that night he has me in absolute fits of laughter when he tells me he has a walk in robe, he sends a picture of it & I say that’s just a fucking cupboard – not a walk in robe, so he sends me a picture of him standing in his actual cupboard! Fucking hell I laugh so hard at that… This guy is just so funny, with those type of one liners. I like this banter, the funny jokes! I like that he can make jokes, but is still quite mature.

The next day as I get ready for work, I do so as if I am going to see him tonight but also feeling like a fuckwit knowing that he is going to bail because he’s set up the sick card & broken toe card to play, he’s got a cold & a broken toe. He’s also been talking about coming to Switch on Friday night – so if he does he’ll see me then anyway, maybe a mid week date is too much? I toy with the idea of inviting to come to my house prior & come in with me & my friends. but I decide not to. But strangely enough, he doesn’t bail tonight – I had told him to get vitamins, he said he had but who knows if he actually did. That same day in the group it’s “Wangs out Wednesday” & Noddy shares 2 dick pics… Not my favourite thing, being that I don’t like to see them before I’ve seen them in really life but when I see it, I think fucking hell that’s a very long dick, I have no idea how that will fit inside me! You all know I don’t like a big dick because they usually hurt me & now I’m scared to fuck this guy…

10 minutes before I finish work, I ask where he is & he says “I’m almost there but you said 8:30 pm” I say it’s all good, I was just wondering if he was waiting for me to message him. I drive past the restaurant, twice but it’s closed, so I go to the local pub & message him to tell him I’m there waiting. He arrives & kisses me on the cheek sitting down, we order dinner & drinks which he pays for again, but at least both times, I’ve been able to pay for the second round. I wonder if this guy realises that he doesn’t have to pay for everything, that I probably earn about $400 a week more than he earns plus I have a work car. (I’ve kind of worked that out from what he’s said about his pay, not a judgement, I couldn’t care less what he earns, just as long as he works!)

We talk easily for a few hours over 2 drinks, I say that we should’ve cancelled tonight being that he’s going to come to Switch but he tells me that he wanted to see me. Awwww, that’s so cute. I did want to see him more before Switch because I am worried about what it’ll be like, I mean we haven’t even kissed yet. I don’t think it’s a good idea for him to come to Switch but I can’t say no… I also let him know that I am being tied up at Switch & he says that he can’t wait to see it. I can’t wait to show him either. I have picked some lingerie & a skirt that I am wearing, I am getting my makeup done again so just have to do my hair. I am pretty excited, I have thought about inviting Noddy back to my house after switch if things go well & I will drop him home in the morning.

During the few days between our dinner & Switch, he is writing to me about another friend who seems to have noticed in the group we’ve dated, so I ask if he’s told him, he says no he didn’t tell him but on Friday night they will all know anyway. Says he doesn’t think they will have to ask (assuming he’s going to kiss me finally!) but then he oddly says “She said she has a fat ass. I said it’s ok, I’ll help you work it off. I’m good at helping. She’s knows I run & my times & distance. So she said but you’re too fast for me” I think what the actual fuck?! Who is that too? That is basically word for word what I just wrote to him… What is he doing? I ask & he says that he’s been talking to Demon, she asked how it was going with me. I am fine with him chatting to others but unsettled that he’s basically sending her word for word account of what I said… I mean I shouldn’t be surprised, he did send me screenshots of what the other chick said to him & I saw on his other chat to Doddy that he sent a screenshot of how he asked me out the first time. I am ok with her but I am taken back to the time with Noodle being friends with the chick Max kissed at Switch that one time… Noodle was good friends with her & told her a lot about me… This is the part I don’t like, I don’t want people to know everything about me… Noddy tells me that Demon encourages him heaps about me, which I appreciate. But I am always skeptical. I know that chick that Max had kissed offer her virginity to Noodle when they first started chatting, so I am jaded of peoples intentions I guess on the chat app.


My friends & I get to Switch & Noddy is already there with Demon. Well right, that was unexpected… I know they’re friends but he didn’t tell me & also didn’t tell me he was wearing an outfit borrowed from her – I hate that that makes me jealous! Noddy & I kiss & chat a bit, it’s the first time we’ve kissed, I wasn’t sure if I would be able to kiss him because of his teeth, but I do find this guy attractive… The first floor show goes on & then Ripples takes me over to tie me up but everyone disappears, I get tied & its over when I see Noddy come up & sit down to watch, but then he gets up & walks off, I thought he wanted to see this? By the time he comes back with a drink for me, I am back in my shoes & skirt & really disappointed. He can tell, I can’t hide it. I know I do rope for me, but I wanted him to see what I enjoy. I tell him it’s ok but I can’t hide my disappointment, not just of him but all of my friends, they all went outside smoking & didn’t see any of it. I try to change my face to be happy, but I am really upset. FUCK I hate that I do this… Why I can’t I just be happy? He stands behind me kissing my shoulders & turning me on, that I melt, yes I am going to invite this guy home with me tonight! I hope he says yes… He kisses & touches me though out the whole next show, that I forget that he didn’t see me get tied up, he seems genuinely disappointed that he didn’t get to see it, he says that he wished he did. After the show finishes, he kisses me & says that he’s just going outside for a cigarette. I watch others get tied & some wax play, some other impact play, but as I walk around the nightclub all night waiting for Noddy to come back up, I never see him again that night!

I go downstairs & play pool before my friends take me home, after a couple of friends leave my house, I start crying to my friend. So unlike me, since I said the L word with Noodle, I can’t stop crying now! Hahaha… I can’t believe that Noddy never came back to see me, he told me how much he wants me but then disappeared for 3 hours. In hindsight, I probably should’ve gone downstairs to the beer garden & dragged his ass back up, but I didn’t… I didn’t even message to say goodbye but I’m also angry that he hasn’t messaged to ask me where I am!

WTF, we’re both acting like idiots…



Abs is in the groups I’m in on the chat app for a while before I finally allow him to chat to me privately. I am very funny about private messaging people but that is how I got in to trouble with Noodle. I am also not convinced when a man doesn’t show his face on the app that they aren’t single.

He tells me that he’s been waiting for me to private message him & that he’s gotten a message from my friend, which I knew she would message him as she messages everyone new to the group, plus he has a hot picture up of his body & abs. I tell him that I will leave him for her as we’re in different stages of life, I am not wanting to just fuck anyone, I know my friend is just keen to have sex & this guy is probably looking for just sex. However he said that he wants me & he won’t fuck her. I tell him about myself as he asks, telling him that I’m a little kinky & love my job plus I do a lot of exercise. He says that I sound like fun! He’s a couple of years younger, says he’s single with no kids & has a huge sex drive… Ding Ding Ding!

I tell him that I’ve been going to rope classes every week & really getting into that. I send him some of my less erotic rope pics, literally me in gym gear at class & explain why I deem trust the number one thing when thinking about getting kinky with someone.

We start by sharing pictures & I start to let my guard down a bit with him – maybe he isn’t so bad, showing him my other kink & that is lingerie. I got obsessed with it when I was with Noodle, I’ve yet to find a man who’s eyes pop out their head like his did when they see me in lingerie.

I find out that he lives miles away from me, in the northern hills of Adelaide. I’m a southern chick near the beach that I realise, this probably won’t work out. However I find myself telling him my real job, not sales rep like I usually tell everyone & I suggest a drink halfway on the weekend to see if we click & then we can see where it goes. I say something about fucking on his desk but he says he has about 40 employees & suggest my desk, but I work in an open office. He asks me to turn up to the weekend drink in a trench coat. This is a fantasy I’ve wanted to do for a while, I wanted to do it with Noodle but I always thought we’d have more time, so I never bought a trench coat. That fucking time bullshit… I always thought we’d have more of it… Always.

I send Abs a lot more lingerie pictures, loving the reaction from him, it’s been a while since I get this kind of reaction. Crows didn’t really care about lingerie when I wore it & I haven’t been with anyone multiple times for them to deserve me in lingerie. This guy seems to appreciate it & even says that he used to buy Honey Birdette for his ex. I show him some of my Honey Birdette. I also shop online for a trench coat, finding a cheap one at Cotton on with free postage, I purchase it thinking that this little fantasy might not be with the guy I thought it would be with, but I will get it at least. Another way to distract myself from thinking about Noodle.

It’s later at night when I get home in my gym gear, he asks me to show him what I’m wearing, which I do & then he tells me to take it off. I am already in my underwear so I take a picture of myself. Then between me hitting send & his reply, my friend something about him to me on the chat app & how they are chatting… WTF?! He said he wasn’t going to chat to her…! I feel like a fucking fool. I write “Well I’m sorry I sent that because I feel like a fool for trusting you… & now even more foolish for sending pics” (Nothing I hate more than feeling like a fool, Noodle made me feel like a fool!) he says that he doesn’t understand but I considering just ghosting him, but I’m trying to change my karma… I don’t want to be that person, I have it done to me enough, maybe that’s why I am ghosted, because I treated someone bad in the past? You all know that these men are not all at fault, I play a part in the failures just as much as they do.

Abs forwarded email.png

So I decide to write back “So you know… I trusted you, you said you weren’t chatting to anyone (especially my friend) & I let my guard down, PMed you, sent pics which I never do! You would have seen I said no to PMing last night… I’m very different to my friend, I need to trust inexplicably to do what I want sexually, I’m not looking for a quick one off fuck…” I am so sick of people trying to fuck everyone… Don’t they want someone they can get to know? “I didn’t ever say I wasn’t chatting to anyone… I chat to a lot of people. I don’t know what I’m after… drinks & a meal with someone, blowjobs & a movie with someone else, three ways with someone else, I’m up for anything but I’m not going to limit myself to just one option…” Ok, so I guess that answered my question. “Well I don’t care what anyone does with others, except like I said even though it was a bit of a joke, I do want to be the priority with a guy for a change & I care about my friendships with people on here.” My friendships mean more to me than a random guy… Plus I do want to be the priority for a fucking change… I never am, I don’t know what it is about me that guys don’t want to prioritise me, but they just don’t! “Ok… I didn’t mean to upset you my apologies. Just to be clear I’d love to keep chatting & meet up, but I’m going to be chatting to other people too.” I mean I can’t really be angry about that or his honesty, I mean I was chatting to other people even when I was in love with Noodle, so I can’t expect anything less from a stranger. “Yeah I don’t expect exclusivity. Lets not get carried away… However just don’t spin me bullshit about not talking to my friend then talk to her behind my back. I expect honesty because like I said, what I like to do in the bedroom requires a lof of trust & not just a one off fuck.” Hours later he writes back “Hope you’ve had a good night.” I delete him, what the fuck. I am sick of stupid games.

A month later, Abs comes back into my chat room & then PM’s me. We’d chatted in the room so he says that he thought I hated him. I never said I hated him, I mean I don’t even know the guy to be honest. I was just pissed about what happened. I tell him that I feel like an idiot, an idiot for buying a tench coat for when I met him too, He can’t believe that I did, I can’t believe that I did either. He asks me out for dinner & drinks but he’s been chatting to my friend the whole time that I don’t want a guy to come between me & our friendship, so she can have him. He says that she started the conversation & he wasn’t going to say go away. I agree, he can talk to whoever he wants, but I am also going to bow out. He tells me that he thinks I am awesome & that he wants to catch up but I am not letting a guy come between him & I.

We basically stop chatting after that, I get that I am hard work for this guy, he lives far away anyway but he’s obviously doesn’t understand what I am trying to say here about my friendship.

Looking back, now on this story, lets be fair to this guy, he didn’t tell me he wasn’t talking to my friend, all he said is that he wouldn’t fuck her…I just assumed he’d stop talking to her… That’s what I wanted. I want an exclusive friends with benefits…. WTF is an exclusive FWB if not a boyfriend?! Fuck I’m so confused at what I want…