I open the door & I see Eastwood standing there looking exactly like he did when I worked with him! WTF… What weight? I laugh as we say hello, kissing on the cheek, he meets the dogs & I offer him a drink. As I predicted, he is wearing a t-shirt & jeans with a hat on. He looks exactly the same, talks the same, acts the same, we’re friends the same – meaning the conversation flowed as it did when we sat at the same office, as we have a couple of drinks while standing in my kitchen.
After a couple of drinks we go sit in my lounge room, now it’s important to know that he got there about 8:30 pm on a Saturday night. How tragic I had no plans but anyway, he’s over & the conversation is funny & witty, we have good banter. I’m always attracted to banter & laughs… He touches my leg a few times but never offers to rub the cream in my back & I never ask. When I go to make him a drink, he just sits on the couch with the dogs & watching YouTube. Usually a dude will follow into the kitchen to chat, but he doesn’t.
So it’s now about 12:30 am, we’ve been chatting for hours, I don’t even know what we talk about but we always seem to refer back to people in his workplace because I know them obviously. We have a lot of mutual ‘friends.’ He is touching me – his knee or his arm is brushing mine, sitting close by me, but he’s not making any real moves… I am romantically retarded & he’s not dated a lot so we’re both being weird or maybe it just feels weird to me because I didn’t ever think this would happen. When he says he should go because he has to feed his dog but I say that he hasn’t rubbed the cream in & he says well go get it.
I come back with the cream, take my shoulder straps down on my dress & turn my back to him, moving my hair to one side to expose my neck, ready for him to kiss it… But he doesn’t. He literally rubs cream into my back & that’s it. So I start rubbing it in to my front because that’s burnt too but that still doesn’t spark a response in him. So I just assume he’s not into me or interested & he gets up to go home at 1:30am, he leaves not giving me a hug or kiss goodbye. After having his hands all over my back, I am confused, but decide not to think anything of it & I’ll play the ‘I don’t message first rule’ here. Men can be strange!
I put the dogs to bed & put our glasses in the sink, then get undressed & as I get into bed. There’s a message from him “Felt awkward then” & I think that this can go either way – I can be offended or I can just ask why. Which is what I do, he says that he really didn’t know what to do, to kiss me goodbye… He wanted to do more but wasn’t sure I wanted too… Why do men do this? I mean I’m not judging, I didn’t make a move either because I’m so shit at it… But aren’t men supposed to be better at making a move? Hahaha. Clearly not in my experience. But why do they not do anything then message that they wanted to make a move – thus making it more awkward when/if we catch up again.
He says that he wasn’t sure what I wanted & that he feels like he missed his chance, so I tell him that it doesn’t have to be his only chance, so he asks if I want him to come back – didn’t he just leave to feed his dog? He says that he’s torn about going home & wanting to come back but he says he’ll think of me when he gets home. I assume he’s texting & driving – I decide to write a long teasing message about what I am wearing & that I wasn’t wearing a bra tonight & then tell him to get home & feed his dog.
We message for almost an hour – yes an hour when I remind him he had to leave to feed the dog & that surely he’s home already, as he doesn’t live far from me – like 10 minutes. He says that he’s parked on a street away from my house… Um, what?! I ask if he’s been home & fed the dog & come back but he says no that he’s been parked there since he left. What the actual fuck. Really? Really! I am tipsy enough now that I send him my first cheeky picture & say to him that he should come back. He offers just a good night kiss, which we both know it won’t just be that, but he messages me when he is back out the front of my house asking if he should come in.
I meet him at the front door at 2:30 am, he walks straight in & we start kissing, I have to reach up to kiss him as he’s pretty tall… He’s a good kisser. His hands explore me & I walk us backward into my bedroom where we lay down & start undressing each other. I already know he doesn’t like condoms, but I am not having sex with him without one. When he goes down on me I am surprised at his skills… I guess I always found him attractive when we we worked together but I never thought about him sexually of course because he was married & back then it would never had crossed my mind to fuck a married man.
His skills going down on me are exceptional considering he’s had a wife for 20 years & didn’t really date because he met her so young. I guess she made him better perhaps? But who knows… I don’t care, I enjoy it so much & tell him we need a condom. I know he doesn’t like them, we’ve had this conversation, no guy likes them but when I get it out & he puts it on, he goes soft & he can’t have sex with me. He says that it’s the condom & this happens sometimes… It’s not the first time this has happened to me with a guy, I try not to overthink & think that it’s about me.
To my surprise, given it’s almost 3:30 am & we just had almost sex, usually men run away as soon as they’re done, especially when that happens. But Eastwood stays, not for heaps long, but he sticks around, which is good for me to not obsess that it’s about me. When he does get up to go, he kisses me goodbye at the door. Before I am even back in bed, I get a message from him, I smile like an idiot, thinking some cute little message perhaps about wanting to spend the night or something… Especially since he’s probably still in my driveway.
“That was fun … our little secret tho hey.“
#IBD4U
I've Been Dating For You 