Month: Mar 2023

So I haven’t really got anything significant to say about anyone in particular to write a whole post of them… Not dating isn’t great for a dating blog. However, there is a little to say – some of it makes me so sad & others just piss me off…

Tom Cruise / Tom Cruise 2: Remember this guy? I dated him twice both going into the abyss… I was even on a podcast in America & I talked about this guy… I genuinely believe this guy has a drinking problem, so I am not fussed about it but when I get a message “How ever you choose matey” randomly one night, I am reeling about it. I’m with a fairly new client at my little business & she doesn’t understand the magnitude of this guy messaging me. I am going on & on about it, but she doesn’t seem to be helpful about a reply.

Now we all know what this message is, right? It’s the ambiguous message that they send in the hopes of getting a reply, but also no harm done & nothing lost if they don’t get a response. If they do happen to get reply & it’s negative, they can pretend it wasn’t meant for the recipient & not feel stupid. If they get a positive reply, they can see what’s up & maybe start things up again… It’s a carrot message. Dangle.

So when I get away from this client, I race home & I message another friend & she says something about a Pirate… Oh ok! Is that what he means? I have no idea… So I write back to Tom Cruise “Walk the plank m’arty” & he replies, “We don’t know each other dude” I am bored & as you know in the texting post that I’m not texting anyone anymore on a regular basis, so I cheekily reply “That kiss felt like we do…” His response comes quicker than I expect “What kiss was that baby” Oh god, didn’t he just say we didn’t know each other?! He says he doesn’t remember the kiss & I ask why he is messaging & he says that it’s because he likes me. I’m like whatever dude to I get snippy “So much so, you don’t remember kissing me!” He pretends that he doesn’t know who I am, but his number is saved in my phone for this very reason & my number is clearly still in his phone too – though he denies it… So is he trying to tell me that he just typed in a random phone number & it happened to be someone he’s dated before?! Is he joking?! I swear I have no idea how I keep meeting these dickheads.

He asks if I liked him, I say that it’s hard to say because he ghosted me. But he also denies that saying I deliberately parted ways with him… Hmmm, really?! That’s not entirely how I remember it… But ok, it’s interesting to see their point of view. He tells me that I am “Hot AF” but I am not playing this game, he didn’t even know who I was 10 minutes ago… He asks why we’re not together & I just send back the ghost emoji.

He says that he wants to take me out for a decent dinner, I ask where is decent & go to sleep. The next day he says after we’ve sent a few texts about a fancy steak house & me pretending to be vegan, then he says that he has no idea who I am. He says that he was pissed so I say “You just typed a random number & invited them to dinner?” he says “Whatever babe, catch up soon” I don’t reply to him…

I hate that when I start talking to him, that I do sticky tape back together the life I pictured… Not really, but you know what I mean. I overthink & daydream about what could be, about what could have been, about what will happen… If course none of my day dreams every come true, but this is what my brain automatically does…

Max : has a lot of stories in the blog… 12 in fact… He has tried to reach out before since we ended but I wasn’t interested, I guess… But now there is a song that keeps coming up on my Spotify, from a new band that has covered an older song, that reminds me of Max. I message him & wonder if he’ll write back which he does after a while, he tries to guess the song for about 4 messages then never replies after reading my message telling him that it’s a cover of an older song… Rightio. I guess I deserve that, I did tell him at one point that I didn’t want to be friends with him – but that was at a time I couldn’t be friends with him. I guess, that’s done for him now… I will put it down to momentary insanity to thinking I was more to him that I thought I was…

Eastwood : has a few stories too… One night, I am wondering what happened with this guy, when I message he says that he’s been busy, so I say that I’ll just leave him to his busyness. He reads it then I never hear from him again. Righto… I don’t know what happened here but there is clearly something. I go through all the snapchats to him from me for him, M8 & Plumber & delete everything that I had saved because I don’t want them having photos of me when they just dangle the carrot when they’re lonely. So now I have no evidence of anything I talk to them about like I used to keep everything.

See what happens when I am not texting someone every night, I start doing the carrot type message just to have someone to talk too… This is why I just stick with what I have – it is what it is… & I will now actually stay single – even though I’ve said that 100 times, the below update is really the reason why…

We do message a bit more a few weeks later when someone we work with messages to say they have cancer & I ask him why he didn’t tell me. We message a bit & for the next week he replies to my snaps stories, but clearly not back where it was or will it ever be.

Again I had initially had that little day dream that this guy, being we used to sit next to each other at work that now he’s single & because we matched that we would be that couple that have a meet cute story of working together then meeting years later to date & be partners… Again my little daydreams are just that, a daydream. Either I self sabotaged it & put something out there in the universe or whatever, because none of these daydreams ever come close to being what I think they will be.

J-Lo / Jo-Lo 2 / Update: I’m really sad about this update & it’s hard to write about when it’s so fresh. This is why I used to write retrospectively so I can get over whatever has happened, so I can reflect on it. But sometimes that’s even harder, because then I have to relive it 6 months later… But J-Lo didn’t write back to my last message where I tried to explain that I wasn’t going to rehash what we’d said, I was trying to explain how I felt when he ‘drops in’ to my house for a cuddle & he was explaining that he thought I was having ago, which I wasn’t. So since this, I have no messages from him, I haven’t tried to reach out but he looks at every snapchat story, then I notice the one day I really need a friend & realise that I really have none, is the day I have to go to court with my neighbour over our fence – I realise that J-Lo has deleted me from snapchat.

Well I guess that’s it from him, that’s a very bold decision/statement & sends a very distinct message of ‘I never want to speak to you again.’ I was waiting for it to all blow over, I know I said in my previous post that I was sort of glad it was over because it was semi toxic… Well this is also another reason why I post retrospectively because that was how I felt at the time when we were having a break from talking, I didn’t think it was the end & I didn’t think he’d delete me, plus he saw my snap that I was going to court that day…

You know what’s kinda funny, is even though J-Lo isn’t a huge part of the blog in stories, he was a huge part of my life & I genuinely always assumed that he & I would end up together – someday… That’s if he left his partner before Marvel’s wife leaves him… J-Lo & I know so much about each other & we did withstand a lot & were brutally honest with each other, so I am 100% shocked at his deletion of me about something I think is so small & petty… I felt like he would be the only one that could understand my feelings for Marvel & be the one to show me real love, since J-Lo knows everything I’ve been though. He would be so patient, knowing it will take some time… I guess I was wrong. So very wrong…

I guess he is done. That’s it. He’ll say he just deleted it, but I call bullshit because he chats to his kids on it. He deleted me, he made a bold choice because we didn’t talk for a few days, he deletes me. So very wrong!

#IBD4U

If you live in Adelaide, you know it’s big in size but really it’s just like a small town, right. Everyone knows everyone… You get used to it after a while, when you say to a new colleague that there you know a person & they say that they know them too. Or you add someone on FB & they have 2 mutual friends with you… You get me right?

When I started in my new job (almost 2 years agao now), a colleague was friends with someone who used to housesit my house when I travelled for work in my previous job. She had told me she’d been to my house & met my cat but her & I had never met really until I started working with her. & we’d also been to the gym together… Funny right?!

When I started netball, I didn’t know anyone because I was getting back into it so by the second season, I was placed with women more my age. One of them – get this, works in the same fucking building as me – which isn’t a big building in the southern burbs, at a different organisation to me. Of course, even though we play together every week, we never see each other in the building.

What do you know! One day I see her in the halls & we laugh about how we’d never seen each other this whole time until we acknowledged the fact that we are in the same building. So hilarious right! How many times has this type of thing happened to you?

After 2 years in the same job, I walk out of work at around 5:00pm, another businesses exit is directly opposite our exit so it can be awkward when someone walks out at the same time & you walk down the hallway to the carpark – especially as a munchkin I walk slower then they hold the door you do that dicky run to not make them wait for you.

Well this night I leave & a guy walks out – Stranger, it’s Valentines Day – so I have a single rose from a colleague who got flowers that he didn’t want… I instantly think Stranger is cute but he reminds me of Marvel & wished I didn’t have a flower – as Stranger will think I am taken… WTF, where did that come from?! The fact he looks like Marvel isn’t surprising or unusual… I mean tall guys with dark down hair & a unshaven face/beard are a dime a dozen, look around, they’re everywhere! I see one that reminds of Marvel almost daily, so I don’t think anything of it. But this dude sticks in my mind…

It’s a bit like Marvel’s real name, why is it in every fucking TV show! Like EVERY TV show or movie… Or is it just that I notice it now?! Probably the later right, the name has always been around – it’s fairly common, but it never meant anything to me before… Bit like guys with dark hair & beards… Never thought they were attractive or noticed them before but they’re fricken everywhere!

So when Stranger & I walk out the door together, we smile an awkward smile & then we walk down the hallway together, also awkwardly, then him holding the door for me, I say thank you & we walk different ways to our cars. Nothing exciting right. I happen to see him getting in his car & I drive past & go home. Because I think he his cute, I think this is a bit like Crush – the guy who I worked with in the same building & never spoke too but always bumped into at every fucking lunch break… I didn’t speak to this guy, we just do the polite smile thing & that was it.

I think that I should ask the chick I play netball with what Stanger’s name is, she has left there & working somewhere else now, but she’d know who he is surely?! Hehehe… What a fricken creep. I am not dating & definitely don’t want to date a Marvel look-a-like I work next too. I’d never do that unless, perhaps I keep seeing him around the halls, then I might take it as a sign? REALLY?! As if… This is me, so like I ever would.

The next day, I weirdly notice Stranger’s car as I drive in & park. Why is that? Why does it stand out to me now? Who the fuck knows… I am such an idiot or probably because I didn’t know who drove that care so I didn’t care & now it stands out. A couple of days later, I have forgotten about him having just been for a job interview & finding out via email that I didn’t get it, so I decide to go work from home – I’m pretty pissed. As I am leaving I see my only real colleague arrive so we stand & chat for a while. As we’re standing there, guess who rocks up!

As his car is pulling in, I say to my colleague “This guy is kinda cute, but he reminds me too much of an ex.” She is a lesbian so when she sees him she says he’s cute, I think he must be good looking. We continue talking, he walks past saying nothing to us, going into the building. I do notice that there is no wedding ring – why do I do that?! Nothing exciting or unusual about that interaction right? Nah, just the fact that I have never seen him before & now twice in one week in close proximity…

Later that night, I am on my little hobby business FB page, I’m scrolling & Marvel’s group page always comes up for me as a suggestion. I admit that since I found it, I look at it & try to work out which posts he’s posted – I sometimes think I have it figured out & then other times I haven’t. Since I unblocked him recently, he now comes up in the comments with his real profile, having tagged two people.

CURIOSITY KILLED THE CAT!

I click on the first profile, I realise it’s his brother, so I click on his picture – even though it doesn’t have his last name, I know it’s Marvel’s brother. FUCK. My mouth drops to the fucking ground! I look up at myself in the mirror & say “Are you fucking kidding me?” my dogs stir from their slumber, thinking who the fuck is she talking too… I look at the picture & really cannot believe this… But it’s fucking STRANGER! I swear on my dogs lives, you cannot make this shit up! What the actual factual fuck!

I literally cannot stop laughing about how fucked up my life is… Imagine if I still have Marvel blocked & had the guts to talk to this stranger guy… I don’t really know how early you tell people your last name when you date, but that would be an even funnier story right… Neither of us have our last names online. If Marvel was blocked I wouldn’t notice anything out of the ordinary on his friends list. Lucky we never got to date (hahaha like we were close… Geez!)

Now I’m also intrigued if Stranger knows who I am? Does he know I was his brother’s Mistress? Does he know my name, what I look like? I mean men don’t really get into the stalking, or do they?! As far as I know Strangers wife wasn’t very well liked in their family, so I don’t know how close the two sister in laws were to share my picture around & if Stranger got involved?! If he does know I am the apparent homewreckong whore, would he tell Marvel?

Marvel had told me a few months back that Stranger was getting divorced & it wasn’t a good situation as in the ex wife lying about her income for more child support & not allowing him to see his kid etc… I remember lying there thinking “Well fuck, you’re definitely never going to leave!” If Marvel is watching his brother (aka Stranger) struggle with child support & custody of his child, then Marvel won’t want that for himself even more than before…

Fuck!

What do I do now? I decide not to tell Marvel, what’s the point… I mean technically, he’s only shown me his brother maybe once? I honestly didn’t know who Stranger was until I saw the comment on FB so I am just going to leave it… If I see Stranger ever again, I will just smile & be polite as I do with anyone in the building…

Wouldn’t it be funny though, if I did date Stranger & was at a family event… I don’t think I could do it if I knew but just imagine if we didn’t know… What a shit show of a movie scene that would be… I know that I wouldn’t be able to sit opposite Marvel – if his wife didn’t scratch my eyes out first – & not fuck him with my eyes, even if I was at a point that I was in love with his brother… What a fucked up situation that would be… It’s never going to happen but this is just hilarious when I thought there wasn’t going to be any more blog posts, this type of shit pops out at me!

#IBD4U