Month: Oct 2022

2022 : Concreter

Ok first of all, I sometimes find it hard to write when I know certain people – either the guy or my friends are going to read the blog… But I always try to be honest, share my side of what I think happened & basically try to come across as bitter – even though my dating life is making me worse & worse! Hahaha.

There aren’t many things I haven’t tried to meet someone over the years, but one thing that I haven’t really done in my dating career is a blatant setup, where both people know they’re being setup, that they know, you know they know & you’re actually chatting to date – you’ve got mutual friends so there is a lot more riding on this, you won’t do the usual things you’d do to a random from a dating app. You don’t want to come across as the jerk in the equation, do you? No you’ll have to tread very carefully on these ones… Or so I thought, I mean look what Eastwood did?! So perhaps but view point on this is skewed slightly…

So when one of my friends contacts me & says that she has this friend ( I believe she’s mentioned him before but he’d only just split with his wife & then he got a girlfriend – of course he did!) anyway he’s now split up with the rebound chick & he’s ready again. She tells me that she set him up with his wife originally so she’s really good at matchmaking & she really thinks that him & I will hit it off.

She then lists his qualities on her fingers – He is really lovely, he’s really really sweet, he’s a bit rough round the edges but he will spoil any woman that is with – like little trips away all expenses paid, he’s got his head screwed on… You know, it’s everything a person wants to hear about a person that they may want to date. I don’t care about being spoiled, all I want is to find someone to laugh & have banter with, that I don’t have to see all the time but is committed to me – is that too much to ask? Hahaha.

She sends me pictures of him, it’s hard to tell because they’re not of just him, she’s in them or he looks so sunburnt but he looks good. I send her some of me too, which she will be sending to him. She shows me a message from him that says he just wants someone easy going & chilled, that he can spend time with & chill with, but he tells her that if I am looking for someone to be with every night then he can’t be that person. That’s fine. That works for me. Seems a bit too good to be true, right?!

So once the photos are approved, I allow her to give him my number & he instantly texts me to say hello. We text for a bit & then he tells me he’s going to the snow tomorrow for the school holidays with his kids & his most recent ex’s kids. Well this wasn’t a good time to start chatting, as you know I don’t like messaging for too long before we meet because otherwise you build it into something it’s not & then there’s a lot of pressure on the date for it to go well…

Every single day he’s away, I get text messages, I get photos of their food they’re cooking – he does lots of slow cooker meals, I get questions asking how I am, I get questions about what I’m doing, most mornings & nights – not all but I usually get a hello & goodbye, good morning or good afternoon. This guy also knows from another friend – we have several mutual friends now he’s also added me on FB – he knows about my two rules: that I don’t drink alone & that I don’t text first. So perhaps he’s being so consistent because he knows those rules or perhaps this is just how he is?

So for two weeks he’s away & then about a week or so since he got back, he’s been super busy, he sends me pictures of all sorts of random shit, then he posts them on FB too. He’s got his own business so we talk about my upcoming renovation & how shit my neighbours are being, he’s helpful & offers his digger & offers to help me out… I’ve heard all this before from men, so I take it with a grain of salt. I also don’t want to owe this guy (or any guy offering their services) anything so I just pay for me own stuff, but I do pick his brain about the quote I’ve gotten etc.

We haven’t really talked about catching up much but finally he wants to lock in a date. I suggest a couple of times I’m free this week & he tells me he needs to check with Cat… I think why does he need to talk to his cat?! But he tells me Cat is PA & she runs his life – surely not his fricken social life, he can’t be that important Mr Christian Grey with a PA. I don’t hear from him the next day to confirm what his PA will allow him to do, so I just leave it.

We obviously do talk again & when he suggests tomorrow, I say I can’t till like 6:30 pm, but then says that he has the gym. Now when we first started chatting, I was being super motivated & going 4 times a week, he said he hadn’t been in a gym in years, now he’s passing up a date for a gym session?! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. Anyway he offers me a 30 minute date before he goes to the gym, I just say don’t stress we’ll do it another time, I am not going on a speed date with this guy. I get he’s trying to establish a routine at a the gym, but fuck that’s dedication & I get he was trying to be sweet about the fact he still wanted to see me, but also remember, he was going to be at the gym longer than he would have been out with me! Just think about that…

The day of the supposed to happen date, in my eyes it’s not happening. I told him not to stress about it, it’s all good. But I get a message from him saying that he can’t do tonight anymore, I say all good & get back to work. He asks if he can call instead later. I agree. I don’t actually want to talk to him on the phone tonight because I have been calling legal firms about advice for my renovation & my neighbours, but because I’m not on Centrelink, no one will give me advice or help me. I can do it myself, I just need to know the right procedure. I feel like I am fighting my old workplace again, lost in a sea of legal jargon while the other side has a trained lawyer. FUCK.

So it’s not a good night for him to call, but when he calls, I try that thing where you fake smile & your voice sounds happier. We chat easily & I enjoy the conversation. He invites me to this lawnmower racing thing he likes to go too & posts all over FB about it. I would go, but not by myself. The conversation is sometimes funny, it’s not hilarious, I’m not so invested but I’m also a bit guarded too. This guy did choose a gym session over me, after saying he hadn’t been in a gym for years! I mean, yes, it’s only been 3 weeks & I don’t want to get too excited & too into this, when the guys not that into me.

I do talk a little bit about my drama with my reno & he talks about how shit his day was having to fix a $100k job from his subcontractor. The conversation flows smoothly – no awkward silences & I find myself talking to him easily. But as the call ends, there is no talk about actually catching up. In fact that topic, ironically never comes up again.

#IBD4U

2022 : Trailer

If you read my first 2022 post Repeat Offenders you would have caught up on the Valvoline story. I met him on FB marketplace & of all the things I’ve done to meet a man, all I had to do was sell something… Well obviously that sale didn’t turn out very well (he’s now tagging her in a marriage meme on FB!), so perhaps buying something might go better?

In 2022 I am doing a major backyard renovation. I have to rely on trades doing eveything for me, not able to put up fences or pergolas on my own, so I am at the mercy of paying trades… I finally find some trades & lock it in.

Earlier in the year I also asked on FB for some friends to help with other jobs around the house, such as putting in sprinklers, fixing a cupboard & moving a retaining wall – I get lots of offers, even friends coming over to look before they commit. But unless I pester them – which I don’t since I’m basically paying in beers, those jobs are still yet to be done! I tell you this because it’s the same with a trailer. You ask a bloke (sorry women who own trailers!) to borrow the trailer for a task & they ask why, offer to help & the task never gets done…

One day looking through FB marketplace as the reno is about to begin – other jobs still not done, I am looking for a storage option for all my tools & crap while I have no fences, no shed & no pergola… What if it’s raining? Do I want my garden shed contents in my house? I look at the gobox things, look at hiring a trailer, toy with the idea of a shipping container… So I think fuck it. I’ll buy my own trailer, how much can they be?

A trailer listed 4 days ago looks in good condition, is only $900. I send to Dad & he says he’ll come with me to have a look… We meet the guy later that day at his house & he asks what I want it for. I explain I’m doing a reno & have dirt, bricks & other shit to move & sick of relying on other people to help me so I’m buying one.

He asks my name several times, even though we’ve been chatting on FB messanger about pick up, where my name would be listed, he shows genuine interest. He asks me weird questions about what I do for work, which I tell him. He asks about my work car when I mention this car is my car for the dogs. It’s just weird but polite & friendly…

As we’re talking & filling out the transfer of rego paperwork, dad is reversing my car in the driveway when we hear a loud crunch & I realise my dad has reversed my car into this poor guys fence… FUCK. Luckily there is no damage to either the fence or car but how fucking embarrassing. I mention that I am going to have to learn to reverse the trailer & remember that I have it on the back of my car when driving.

The conversation is a little flirty with this guy but nothing over the top. I am not really thinking about it though, since I am not wearing undies or a bra. I’m in trackies & a jumper (admittedly they’re Hurley & ZroFux but still) plus a pair of ugg boots… At least I washed my hair today!! Hahaha. There is no sign in his backyard of a girlfriend (what sign would there be, I wonder?! Hahaha) but he’s flirty back despite my appearance & my dad being there. But I just don’t really think anything of it, because you all know I am useless of picking up on signs.

Anyway I get home & transfer the rego to my name. I officially own my own trailer…! (As if that won’t make it harder to find a bloke who’s not already intimidated by me!) I send a quick message to the trailer guy to let him know I was able to transfer the rego online & its all done – because innocently, how else would he know.

To my surprise, I get a reply. “My pleasure #IBD4U. I hope you get good use out of it. Thanks for letting me know.” For some reason the ‘my pleasure’ bit makes smirk & think about a reply – why am I replying, so instantly too... “Once I learn to back it, I’m sure I’ll use it a lot.” This time I do stare at my phone waiting for a reply but it doesn’t come. No big deal.

When I see a mesaage from him later that night saying “I would be weary of lessons from your dad. You’ll get it, some practice, and you’ll be professional in no time haha” Well this is more than a quick chat with a dude I bought something from… I reply that I can’t believe my dad did that, lucky it was my car, not my work. & I say that I’ll get it eventually.

Two days later I get a reply… I’d forgotten about him to be honest, so it was a surprise to see his message “Yeah haha is all good, I was gonna chuck on a fence damage surcharge.” then about 10 mins later “Got any one else to give ya lessons?” I wish now after re-reading the meassages that I was a better texter. So many good replies to that, instead I wrote something about needing more practice & asked if he’s an expert. He says he’s not an expert but that he can do other things…

We chat a bit more, sporadically then he says I seemed shy when he met me with my dad & gives me his number & asks me to text him. As soon as I texts he replies asking when he can call. I’m away for work in a hotel that has no phone reception but he calls & we chat… Its a bit awkward & I learn he’s 28 years old. Fuck…

I don’t hear from him again till the weekend, he texts to ask to call me. I am about to go out so I say I’ll call on my way. We talk the whole drive to the restaurant, I mention that I am a munchkin & he saya that he doesn’t know what that is! Fuck. I’m showing my age…

As we talk it’s Saturday evening & he invites me out next weekend, says that he’ll think about where to go this & will let me know where. I agree, I know I said I wasn’t going to date but this is a random act, a random date! Why not get out amongst it. Maybe I need to meet guys in a different way way to find a partner. Even if this guy is 28, he seems mature & head screwed on… I’ll entertain the idea of a date, why not, what have I got to lose, right?!

On Monday night while filling in for a netball team, during the first quarter break, I look at my phone & see “Hey , gonna need to cancel on Saturday. Gotta focus on some important things and don’t think it’s a good idea for me to go dating at the moment. Wish you well, take care 🙂. Was good chatting to you, maybe catch ya on the future sometime”

I don’t reply & I’ll finish this blog post with what the actual fuck!

#IBD4U

2022 : Car Crash

No, the name Car Crash isn’t a metaphor for a date & how it went, though my dating history is a car crash that you can’t look away from, that’s not what I am referring to here. I will explain his name in due course, it is literally a car crash… Buckle up because you’ll be glad you wore you seatbelt! (OMG – What am I even saying?!)

So swiping during the Eastwood debarcle, I come across a guy I think it familiar but his name is different. He has scar on his face & would be about the same age, but I can’t work out if it is the guy I think it is or not. Anyway we match & start chatting, he says that he hasn’t been on the app long & asks if I’ve met anyone, I have so I say yes, he asks where I go when I meet these people. I say that my local is the usual place to meet someone, when he replies that we’re close. Well of course, I mean the app shows how many kms away you are!

He says that he lives in the suburb I grew up in, so I tell him that, I ask him what school he went too & sure enough it was the same primary school as me, but he says he’s a few years older so I may know his sister… I ask what her name is & when he tells me I know exactly who this guy is! Well I know the 1992/1993 – 11 or 12 year old version of me that knows him. Hahaha

So my best friend in primary school is this guys sister, she went to a different high school to me so we just grew apart, we were friends on Facebook for a while as adults & then one of us deleted the other – no love lost or hard feelings there for me… But yeah, that’s how small Adelaide is… I am now dating people I went to school with that I could have had years ago. However I was about 11 when I knew him!

So, the back story. This guy had a very serious car accident, that wasn’t his fault a few years ago, which I remember hearing about on the news & also seeing his sister post pics on facebook about it. So the scars are from that & he explains that’s why he has a different name on the app to his real name (doesn’t really make sense to me, but whatever!) When he recovered he married the girl he was dating, a girl that I happened to also go to high school with (not someone I was friends with but someone in my year level). So I assume he’s divorced or separated now… Which he later tells me that he’s been married twice – to her & another lady. Jesus, I haven’t even had a boyfriend & this guy has had two wives. FUCK. He also tells me at some point that the last one destroyed him. Oh goodie gum drops! I love a damaged guy!

On the first night we chat he says that he has friends over for BBQ so won’t be messaging much, but he pretty much writes back super quickly & consistently, but the next day I don’t get much from him – which is weirder than the night he had friends over to be honest. Then I get a random message “Whoo Port finally won a game” Um Like I care?! I say that I’m glad his team won & drinks are on him.

It takes a while but we finally go get to go on a date. We work in different jobs but for the same sector, so he seen my name on forms & sends me snapchats of them. There is an event which is on a Friday & Saturday that he says that he’s going to be at too. But when the event gets closer, he starts acting weird & doesn’t message me or show any interest. He then tells me later than he got out of going, so I am thankful because I didn’t want our first meeting to be at a work event but I am also taken back because later he tells me that in his role, he doesn’t have to go to those things but he asked to go because of me… Um but you bailed on it? That’s not a good thing to tell a girl dude…

On the day of the actual real date though, things take a turn. He calls before & says let’s do dinner, I say no worries but then by the time he hangs up, he says don’t worry about dinner, he won’t have time & he’s going to be tired. Oh great! When we meet at the pub, he doesn’t kiss me or hug me hello, I order a wine & then he orders a lemon squash… Just like a nanna, a lemon squash. Not a lemonade, a fucking lemon squash…

The football is on in the background & he watches often. I feel like a twat with a wine when he is drinking soft drink. He just says that he doesn’t drink on work nights, I’m confused then why he suggested a drink at a pub! Usually that involves alcohol, or you’d suggest a coffee, right? Or am I overthinking the squash order?!

He makes me feel like an idiot several times, like he asks me how big my dogs are & when I say their weights, he says that he doesn’t need to know their actual weight. I think ok, right, so I sit there quiet, not really sure what I can & can’t say to this guy. He makes me feel insignificant, I know he’s trying to joke but its coming off as he is superior to me.

He doesn’t have a chip on his shoulder about his accident & doesn’t hold the person who did that to him accountable for his recovery, he has a very positive attitude about the whole thing, which I admire. But that’s about all I like. The giant scar doesn’t bother me. The way he makes me feel does.

We don’t stay long because even though he’s taping the football at home, I get the feeling he’d rather be at home watching it. He doesn’t kiss me goodbye, just a hug & we go our separate ways. Of course, before I am home, I get the usual text I always seem to attract from men “thanks for meeting but I guess I won’t be seeing you again…” WHAT? I stare at it for ages! I write back oh ok or something like that. He messages back that he didn’t think I was interested. I mean I wasn’t feeling positive about myself when I left so I wasn’t jumping out of my skin to sit through another judgey date.

I don’t ever see him again, even though he’s asked a couple of times. He looks at all my snapchats & talks to me all the time on there, but do you know what, if I want to feel stupid about myself. all I have to do is read this blog, I don’t need some dude to make me feel like an idiot.

#IBD4U

2022 : Eastwood #3

UM, what?! That smile is instantly wiped. I am fucking fuming! Who writes that while they are still basically in your driveway! Well I have had a guy delete me while actually in my driveway so I shouldn’t be surprised – however I know this guy & we have mutual friends, surely he wouldn’t be a standard ass hat with me?!

I am so stupid, what a fuckwit for fooling around with Eastwood. I reply “Sorry, I’ve already tagged you in my FB status…” He says “oh no,” then there’s a pause “oh you was only joking” OMG. As if I would even post that on Facebook. I put my phone down & see three messages from him saying good night & that he fed the dog that I would be happy to know. I don’t reply. He’s a fuckwit! I’m a fuckwit! That was fucked. People are just wankers.

I vent to J-Lo in the morning about what happened… His take on it actually calms me down a bit. He says that Eastwood couldn’t keep it hard & perhaps because we have mutual friends, he doesn’t want them all to know so that’s why the secret… I calm down hearing that perspective… Not what I thought of course… Perhaps that is true, so I give Eastwood the benefit of the doubt & reply to his message. We chat a bit, him apologising for his cock not working, said he was tired & he he says have a good day at like 8:00 am on Sunday. Ok then, I probably won’t hear from him again after that performance.

On Monday at 8:00 pm, he asks how my weekend was… It makes me smile, because I’m a fucking idiot… But also because it seems it wasn’t just a one night stand. We do have mutual friends so this isn’t wise starting something with someone who knows everyone he knows – well not everyone but all his colleges, I guess. So while I don’t feel the passion or real chemistryy right now with him, I do like this guy because we’ve got similar personalities, he’s got his head screwed on, he’s not afraid to commit, we can chat via text & in person for hours so I am keen to see where this goes.

The next day, I fuck Marvel & something happens with him that I basically feel like there is a cut in my vagina. I try to take a photo to have a look but it’s not easy to see, but it hurts. Maybe his fingernail cut me? Of course this is when Eastwood is super keen again & actually asks to come over – something he beat around the bush doing before & to be honest, he does go back to that after this too… I have to tell him that I can’t see him because I injured myself at spin class at the gym… I didn’t know what else to say but I wear lace panties & I slipped on the bike & grazed myself. Fuck I wish I thought of a better excuse!

The following Monday is Anzac day, we’ve talked every day this week, Eastwood doing his usual thing of not always replying straight away but then reacting to my message when we haven’t chatted for a while. He makes the effort chatting to me, asking questions & when he writes “lol” & I read it & don’t write back, he’ll also sometimes then come back with a replyable response about 10-15 minutes later.

I have my nieces sleeping over but Monday is a public holiday I am wrecked but Eastwood comes over for a couple of hours. I am already in bed, so I leave the door open. This is so bizarre to me that I do this a lot now… Well not a lot but I let guys do this rather than me getting up out of bed. He lays on the bed next to me, I am basically naked & he we talk for a while before we’re kissing & fooling around. He goes down on me for ages, making me cum & I think he also makes me squirt a little. His cock does get hard but at one point when he goes to stick it inside with me out a condom, I sort of let it happen but he goes soft & so he sits up & basically is hitting it, saying ‘stupid dick.’ I try to reassure him being that I’ve already cum that it’s ok.

He hangs around for a while just chatting after we stop fooling around, we watch YouTube videos of songs we both like & it’s nice to have something more in common with this guy. It’s nice to just chat with him, but we mainly chat about his work, the conversation always comes back to his work & the people. Even at one point, he seems to even like a chick’s FB posts & talk about her so much to me, that I think he’s interested in her, so I back off… I also go though our chat & delete all my sexy pictures, feeling like an idiot… She beautiful so of course he’d want her over me.

Somehow, the next night he wants to come over again, I agree saying that I liked how he kissed my back when he got into my bed last night & that I should have given him oil to massage me, he says he doesn’t like massages – who doesn’t like massages?! I just like being sensually touched when with a guy. I have a candle I’ve never used that turns the wax when melted into oil for a massage, so I get it out & leave it burning. When he comes over, he starts off on my back, straddling me for a while before I turn over & he massages my front as well… I take off his shirt & he goes down on me, making me cum so easily, fuck how does he do it with his mouth?!

Once I’ve cum he just sits up, against the bed head, his arms folded against his chest. We chat for a bit & for those in Adelaide might find this funny, there is a service station called X Convenience, but I thought it was Convenience X, so he literally gives me shit about it for ages, we’re laughing about it & it’s a relaxed time with him that I am enjoying, but then abruptly, he puts on his shirt & says that he has a headache & he has to leave. Okay, sure thing…

#IBD4U

2022 : Eastwood #2

I open the door & I see Eastwood standing there looking exactly like he did when I worked with him! WTF… What weight? I laugh as we say hello, kissing on the cheek, he meets the dogs & I offer him a drink. As I predicted, he is wearing a t-shirt & jeans with a hat on. He looks exactly the same, talks the same, acts the same, we’re friends the same – meaning the conversation flowed as it did when we sat at the same office, as we have a couple of drinks while standing in my kitchen.

After a couple of drinks we go sit in my lounge room, now it’s important to know that he got there about 8:30 pm on a Saturday night. How tragic I had no plans but anyway, he’s over & the conversation is funny & witty, we have good banter. I’m always attracted to banter & laughs… He touches my leg a few times but never offers to rub the cream in my back & I never ask. When I go to make him a drink, he just sits on the couch with the dogs & watching YouTube. Usually a dude will follow into the kitchen to chat, but he doesn’t.

So it’s now about 12:30 am, we’ve been chatting for hours, I don’t even know what we talk about but we always seem to refer back to people in his workplace because I know them obviously. We have a lot of mutual ‘friends.’ He is touching me – his knee or his arm is brushing mine, sitting close by me, but he’s not making any real moves… I am romantically retarded & he’s not dated a lot so we’re both being weird or maybe it just feels weird to me because I didn’t ever think this would happen. When he says he should go because he has to feed his dog but I say that he hasn’t rubbed the cream in & he says well go get it.

I come back with the cream, take my shoulder straps down on my dress & turn my back to him, moving my hair to one side to expose my neck, ready for him to kiss it… But he doesn’t. He literally rubs cream into my back & that’s it. So I start rubbing it in to my front because that’s burnt too but that still doesn’t spark a response in him. So I just assume he’s not into me or interested & he gets up to go home at 1:30am, he leaves not giving me a hug or kiss goodbye. After having his hands all over my back, I am confused, but decide not to think anything of it & I’ll play the ‘I don’t message first rule’ here. Men can be strange!

I put the dogs to bed & put our glasses in the sink, then get undressed & as I get into bed. There’s a message from him “Felt awkward then” & I think that this can go either way – I can be offended or I can just ask why. Which is what I do, he says that he really didn’t know what to do, to kiss me goodbye… He wanted to do more but wasn’t sure I wanted too… Why do men do this? I mean I’m not judging, I didn’t make a move either because I’m so shit at it… But aren’t men supposed to be better at making a move? Hahaha. Clearly not in my experience. But why do they not do anything then message that they wanted to make a move – thus making it more awkward when/if we catch up again.

He says that he wasn’t sure what I wanted & that he feels like he missed his chance, so I tell him that it doesn’t have to be his only chance, so he asks if I want him to come back – didn’t he just leave to feed his dog? He says that he’s torn about going home & wanting to come back but he says he’ll think of me when he gets home. I assume he’s texting & driving – I decide to write a long teasing message about what I am wearing & that I wasn’t wearing a bra tonight & then tell him to get home & feed his dog.

We message for almost an hour – yes an hour when I remind him he had to leave to feed the dog & that surely he’s home already, as he doesn’t live far from me – like 10 minutes. He says that he’s parked on a street away from my house… Um, what?! I ask if he’s been home & fed the dog & come back but he says no that he’s been parked there since he left. What the actual fuck. Really? Really! I am tipsy enough now that I send him my first cheeky picture & say to him that he should come back. He offers just a good night kiss, which we both know it won’t just be that, but he messages me when he is back out the front of my house asking if he should come in.

I meet him at the front door at 2:30 am, he walks straight in & we start kissing, I have to reach up to kiss him as he’s pretty tall… He’s a good kisser. His hands explore me & I walk us backward into my bedroom where we lay down & start undressing each other. I already know he doesn’t like condoms, but I am not having sex with him without one. When he goes down on me I am surprised at his skills… I guess I always found him attractive when we we worked together but I never thought about him sexually of course because he was married & back then it would never had crossed my mind to fuck a married man.

His skills going down on me are exceptional considering he’s had a wife for 20 years & didn’t really date because he met her so young. I guess she made him better perhaps? But who knows… I don’t care, I enjoy it so much & tell him we need a condom. I know he doesn’t like them, we’ve had this conversation, no guy likes them but when I get it out & he puts it on, he goes soft & he can’t have sex with me. He says that it’s the condom & this happens sometimes… It’s not the first time this has happened to me with a guy, I try not to overthink & think that it’s about me.

To my surprise, given it’s almost 3:30 am & we just had almost sex, usually men run away as soon as they’re done, especially when that happens. But Eastwood stays, not for heaps long, but he sticks around, which is good for me to not obsess that it’s about me. When he does get up to go, he kisses me goodbye at the door. Before I am even back in bed, I get a message from him, I smile like an idiot, thinking some cute little message perhaps about wanting to spend the night or something… Especially since he’s probably still in my driveway.

“That was fun … our little secret tho hey.“

#IBD4U