No, the name Car Crash isn’t a metaphor for a date & how it went, though my dating history is a car crash that you can’t look away from, that’s not what I am referring to here. I will explain his name in due course, it is literally a car crash… Buckle up because you’ll be glad you wore you seatbelt! (OMG – What am I even saying?!)
So swiping during the Eastwood debarcle, I come across a guy I think it familiar but his name is different. He has scar on his face & would be about the same age, but I can’t work out if it is the guy I think it is or not. Anyway we match & start chatting, he says that he hasn’t been on the app long & asks if I’ve met anyone, I have so I say yes, he asks where I go when I meet these people. I say that my local is the usual place to meet someone, when he replies that we’re close. Well of course, I mean the app shows how many kms away you are!
He says that he lives in the suburb I grew up in, so I tell him that, I ask him what school he went too & sure enough it was the same primary school as me, but he says he’s a few years older so I may know his sister… I ask what her name is & when he tells me I know exactly who this guy is! Well I know the 1992/1993 – 11 or 12 year old version of me that knows him. Hahaha
So my best friend in primary school is this guys sister, she went to a different high school to me so we just grew apart, we were friends on Facebook for a while as adults & then one of us deleted the other – no love lost or hard feelings there for me… But yeah, that’s how small Adelaide is… I am now dating people I went to school with that I could have had years ago. However I was about 11 when I knew him!
So, the back story. This guy had a very serious car accident, that wasn’t his fault a few years ago, which I remember hearing about on the news & also seeing his sister post pics on facebook about it. So the scars are from that & he explains that’s why he has a different name on the app to his real name (doesn’t really make sense to me, but whatever!) When he recovered he married the girl he was dating, a girl that I happened to also go to high school with (not someone I was friends with but someone in my year level). So I assume he’s divorced or separated now… Which he later tells me that he’s been married twice – to her & another lady. Jesus, I haven’t even had a boyfriend & this guy has had two wives. FUCK. He also tells me at some point that the last one destroyed him. Oh goodie gum drops! I love a damaged guy!
On the first night we chat he says that he has friends over for BBQ so won’t be messaging much, but he pretty much writes back super quickly & consistently, but the next day I don’t get much from him – which is weirder than the night he had friends over to be honest. Then I get a random message “Whoo Port finally won a game” Um Like I care?! I say that I’m glad his team won & drinks are on him.
It takes a while but we finally go get to go on a date. We work in different jobs but for the same sector, so he seen my name on forms & sends me snapchats of them. There is an event which is on a Friday & Saturday that he says that he’s going to be at too. But when the event gets closer, he starts acting weird & doesn’t message me or show any interest. He then tells me later than he got out of going, so I am thankful because I didn’t want our first meeting to be at a work event but I am also taken back because later he tells me that in his role, he doesn’t have to go to those things but he asked to go because of me… Um but you bailed on it? That’s not a good thing to tell a girl dude…
On the day of the actual real date though, things take a turn. He calls before & says let’s do dinner, I say no worries but then by the time he hangs up, he says don’t worry about dinner, he won’t have time & he’s going to be tired. Oh great! When we meet at the pub, he doesn’t kiss me or hug me hello, I order a wine & then he orders a lemon squash… Just like a nanna, a lemon squash. Not a lemonade, a fucking lemon squash…
The football is on in the background & he watches often. I feel like a twat with a wine when he is drinking soft drink. He just says that he doesn’t drink on work nights, I’m confused then why he suggested a drink at a pub! Usually that involves alcohol, or you’d suggest a coffee, right? Or am I overthinking the squash order?!
He makes me feel like an idiot several times, like he asks me how big my dogs are & when I say their weights, he says that he doesn’t need to know their actual weight. I think ok, right, so I sit there quiet, not really sure what I can & can’t say to this guy. He makes me feel insignificant, I know he’s trying to joke but its coming off as he is superior to me.
He doesn’t have a chip on his shoulder about his accident & doesn’t hold the person who did that to him accountable for his recovery, he has a very positive attitude about the whole thing, which I admire. But that’s about all I like. The giant scar doesn’t bother me. The way he makes me feel does.
We don’t stay long because even though he’s taping the football at home, I get the feeling he’d rather be at home watching it. He doesn’t kiss me goodbye, just a hug & we go our separate ways. Of course, before I am home, I get the usual text I always seem to attract from men “thanks for meeting but I guess I won’t be seeing you again…” WHAT? I stare at it for ages! I write back oh ok or something like that. He messages back that he didn’t think I was interested. I mean I wasn’t feeling positive about myself when I left so I wasn’t jumping out of my skin to sit through another judgey date.
I don’t ever see him again, even though he’s asked a couple of times. He looks at all my snapchats & talks to me all the time on there, but do you know what, if I want to feel stupid about myself. all I have to do is read this blog, I don’t need some dude to make me feel like an idiot.