Noodle #40

Remember when Noodle & I were saying good night… & I said he lurvves bacon then he said doughnuts. Well he loves doughnuts too… OMG I missed it but was Noodle saying he loved me then?! (Wasn’t he?! Or am I reading into this? Hahaha…) Here’s the except from that blog for you to judge!

So tonight when Max is saying goodnight, Noodle says the same to me privately “Night angel muffin” & I laugh because terms of endearment do not come easily out of Noodles mouth. I say “Night baby cakes” & he replies “Night belly bacon” This is hilarious. “That’s a compliment coming from you cos you lurvvvve bacon” I know that one of Noodle’s favourite foods is bacon, I actually learn later than his favourite food is ribs. I am also careful not to say the word love here too… I say lurvvve instead… He says “Well I do. Night frosted doughnut” his other favourite food, something he does love!

OMG, I may be reading into things a bit much, but I feel like we bottled up our feelings for so long! But did he say that he loves me in a weird way?

While our messages are more lovey, I am acting nuts a lot. I mean he’s saying he’s in love with 2 women, I don’t believe that is true, I don’t think you can love 2 people in the same way. But it hurts me when he tells me that he loves her, he says that he’s not in love with her but she in the mother of his children. I guess I just try not to think about her so much & he’s my best friend with no one to talk to about me or her, so he talks to me. I don’t think he realises what he says sometimes he tells me that “Yeah obviously she finds me attractive & can be dirty. But yeah, no where near as dirty as you. & she does want me sexually, even if she’s not turned on… Last time I fucked her she thanked me… I mean WTF. Cos it made her feel wanted. You make me feel more attractive than she does tho.” What does he even need me for & I tell him that it makes sense why he’ll never leave her. I say that & he replies “Well I don’t. you know the reasons why & I’m never gonna bullshit them to you like most cheating guys do. Keep telling there mistress they will live there wife eventually & never do. As much as I want too…” The thing Noodle never understands, is that he does bullshit me… I mean saying ‘as much as I want too’ is clearly bullshit. If he wanted to leave her, he would! Those lines are designed to give me hope that he will leave her. He says that he never gives me false hope, but he does, every day! Even by telling me that he loves me, he has given me hope. Just not the type of direct hope that he’s talking about. It’s still gives me hope… & I stupidly wait around for a glimmer of this hope all the time, waiting for him to actually say that he’s left her & going to make a go of it with me. I mean lets face it, that’s never going to happen, I am doomed here. I know it. He knows it. Hell, even if his partner knew about me, she knows I’m doomed. However I still hang around like a lost puppy waiting for a scrap of his time.Noodle in love with 2 people.pngI try not to let this alter my chats with Noodle. I mean I am constantly thinking this shit but I am in a good mood, I mean I am finally in love! OMG, lets just even reflect on that for a second! It wasn’t a dream. A man I find incredibly sexy, funny, passionate & have the ultimate chemistry with, loves me. Little ol me! I will not die now having not been loved! My biggest fear, is now no longer. I know what love feels like, I can’t describe it, but I feel it. It embraces me in everything I do. I wake up thinking about Noodle, I sleep dreaming of Noodle, I go to bed wishing he was next to me. I constantly look at my phone for a message from him, I pine for the next time I am going to see me, till I feel him inside of me, fucking me & yes OMG. That was making love when we came together that day & every time we’ve done that since. We are in sync. I’m sure if we were around friends, we’d been sickening & finish each other’s sentences!

I’ve never been a smoker before, but I have struggled with food issues before, I suspect that giving up smoking is kind of like me trying to give up Noodle, I can hear smokers saying ‘just one more smoke, just one more puff then I’ll give up…’ Yep, I hear ya buddy… Just one more fuck. One more kiss… Then I’m done, I can walk away & find a love that I deserve! Yes just one more time… However as per Veronica Mars in the movie when helping Logan “You ever hear the one about the junkie who was satisfied with just one more taste of the good stuff…. Neither have I.” FUCK!

We become this weird hybrid of ourselves. We never say the word love, we use the love heart emoji to express that. I’m not sure if Noodle does it because that’s what I do or if he is also scared about saying that damn word to me again! He says “Noodle heart #IBD4U” & I reply “Awwww, #IBD4U does heart Noodle too!”  I am smiling like a tool when he says “Totally lame” I reply “You are grinning”  because I know he is & I am too, He says that he is & I smile even more!

The first time I did the love heart thing, he did say “Oh dear god, we’re doing this now?’  & when I says yes, he does it back every time. & even sometimes he initiates it, so I know he loves it, thinks it’s cute & is happy that I am so into him. As we’re chatting I tell him not to worry “Don’t worry, dirty, sexy, kinky #IBD4U is still there, just with a little cuteness too.. that might make you want to vomit, but that’s ok” & before he reads it, he leaves every group, as if en masse, his chat app is shut down. My heart goes into a panic. What has happened? I am at work, I know he’s not at work – I’m pretty sure she’s in bed asleep or he wouldn’t be chatting to me, he couldn’t have been found out in that short space of time & deleted his chat app so suddenly? What the fuck is going on? Does she know? Did she see my picture? I think I still have his cum on my face in the profile picture, however I do look pretty cute… But fuck then she knows what I look like. No I need to calm down, he wouldn’t delete his chat app that suddenly if she found out. It’s actually hard to delete your account on the app, you have to go to the website first. Surely he hasn’t been caught & told to delete it & he did… It happened to suddenly. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON! People start asking me questions, as if I know… I am freaking out more than anyone! WTF… It’s weird it was every group all at the same time, that doesn’t happen to people. OMG. I don’t have any other way to contact him. He did give me his number ages ago, but I don’t want to message his phone in case she has found out about me. As I start to write him an email, hoping that he’ll check his cheating email account soon & give me some answers, I get a request on the chat app from another Noodle. OMG what the hell happened!? He tells me that his account was deleted by the chat app people because of all the douchy shit he has been doing with another guy in a group, who was apparently convicted of being a kiddy fiddler. Noodle was always against this (as everyone should be) but they had such rivalry. It was stupid to be honest. Just so dumb, but Noodle kept getting bans on his chat account, so many times that they just deleted his account. FUCKING HELL that was a bad 10 minutes! OMG the crazy thoughts that went through my mind in such a short space of time is insane!

The following Saturday night we arrange to meet at his gym for our regular car sex, sometimes he gyms before or after but he usually says that our sex is enough of a workout for him. I pull up, reverse in so that we’re hidden in the back seat when we jump in there. But as I go to get out of the car I notice he’s getting in the front seat. He kisses me hello & runs his hands over any part of me he can reach, I ask why he’s gotten into the front seat, he kisses me again not answering. FUCK – what is happening please?!

He says he has to go, his partner just called & he has to take her to the hospital. I ask if she’s having the baby but he says no, she’s having some pain. I kiss him quickly & tell him he has to go. He keeps touching me saying how sorry he is, I keep saying its ok (even though I have just driven 30 minutes to see him for 15 seconds at 10:00 pm.) But he keeps trying to finger me, says he wants to get me off before he goes & how sorry he is, but I push him off telling him he needs to go. He’s with me a lot longer than he should be, he genuinely looks devastated that he has to go. But I guess he’s also worried that I’ll be bitchy to him, he can’t help this… It sucks but it’s not his fault.

I drive away feeling so shit. Like an actual fucking idiot loser! It’s no one’s fault but my own. I am involved with a guy who has a pregnant partner, I should expect this kind of stuff to happen. To be honest, I’m surprised she hasn’t ruined more of our times together. I say goodnight to him & he messages me sorry on the way home. I say that I’ll go to bed when I get home & that I’ll chat to him tomorrow. I’m not trying to make him feel bad, I am just trying to protect myself a little here. This is a fucked up situation. I want to cry but I can’t. I’ll be surprised if I get any sleep tonight. Somehow I do sleep…

I hear a noise in the night, or is it morning? I roll over & snuggle back down, but I hear it louder, like someone is coming in my front door. I hear birds chirping but it’s still darkish outside, I smell Noodle as he slips into my bed naked & I startle awake asking him what day it is? What time is it? It’s Sunday morning at 6:00 am, he tells me his partner is home & she thinks he’s at the gym, he left his phone there while he snuck to my house to see me. Noodle never surprises me like this, it’s always pre-planned, but I roll into him & we have hot passionate sex (as always!) before he has to go. OMG, I am so in love with him. As if he risked it that much for me.

I see him the next night for an hour at the gym, we have sex in the car again – it’s always hot. The following Tuesday, is the 4th day in a row we’ve seen each other, noodle is again on holidays because his partner is in pain, so I meet him at the gym instead, I am on holidays too so I went to my usual gym that morning, but I have been dying to workout with him since I joined the same gym as him, so I say that I’ll meet him in the gym this time. We have talked about having a shower together at the gym & maybe some rimming but I’m still not sure. I get to the gym & he’s on the treadmill, I walk up to him & he gets off it, gives me a kiss hello. There is only 1 or 2 people in the gym. He makes me get on a treadmill to warm up, but I get on the cross trainer as I hate the treadmill, he gets back on his treadmill & we sort of chat as we workout next to each other, I kind of just want to rip his shirt & pants off & fuck him on the equipment. I restrain myself & we do some weights together, where he says I whinge a lot (yes I hate working out & do whinge when I am with other people) but I say later that I was doing the damsel in distress hoping he’d help me & touch me, however he says he feels like a gym noob, I haven’t been going to a gym for years, I go to classes so they don’t have a lot of the same equipment & I have no idea what I’m doing as well. We work out for an hour, I’ve already worked out that day & also just want to fuck him, so I’m also aware that we’re getting to a point where he’ll have to go soon, so I say let’s go. We stand at the cars & kiss waiting for the other to say let’s fuck, I forget which one said it but we’re in the back of my car naked pretty quickly. This is where I want to be. I love fucking him & we’re both sweaty & hot, ready for each other… Is there ever going to be a time when I don’t want this mans cock inside me?

#IBD4U

 

Noodle #39

WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FACTUAL. FUCKING. FUCK!

I look at the L word for what seems like eternity. I stop in my tracks at work, still, just staring at it. No man has ever said or written the L word to me before in that context. EVER. I never expected that Noodle would ever say that to me, he acts like such a douche all the time in groups, of course I see a different side, but given our situation, I never thought he’d be the one to let his guard down even if he did feel it. I never thought he’d say it. FUCK. I’m 36 & no one has ever loved me. Is it possible that I am loveable?

A million replies go through my head in the seconds that pass. This is stupid, so reckless & it’s going to end in tears… My tears! I’ve been telling myself that for months, but this is a turning point – this has to be a turning point. My head is screaming in a high pitched weird voice that I’ve never heard before “End it IBD4U, end it now” but my heart… My heart… My fucking heart somehow controls my fingers as I type out my reply I’m in love with you too.”

FUCK.

To be honest, there is no other response that I want to say… I’ve been denying it, I have been avoiding it. I have been lying to myself… He reads it instantly & says “Well that’s even more fucked” I burst out laughing. Yep, that’s our relationship for you! Fucking hell, what are we doing?! He says he wasn’t expecting the L word back from me & I say that I don’t even believe that I have said it myself. I mean only a few months before he had to tell me that I had feelings for him & that we are best friends. I always deny my feelings. I wonder if he was hoping I’d say I loved him then? Or did he want to say it to me? But I kept saying that I didn’t have feelings for him & shutting it down. Looking back, he was probing me to say something more than just friends…

Fucking hell, that song! That song was bloody right! I do love him. I really do. I’m fucked. This is fucked. Ironically he tells me that he realised he was in love with me a little while ago while listening to a song too. WHAT? Fucking hell, that’s a sign!

So I ask him what the song is for him, he tells me is a song called ‘Periscope’ by Papa Roach. Immediately I find it on Spotify, hit repeat & learn all the words & all I want to do is hug him – the lyrics hit home again about the fact I’m going to be so broken when this is over. It’s a subtle message for me to walk away from him. But I want his strong loving arms around me. FUCK. I fucking love him.

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

I’ll attach the YouTube clip & lyrics for you – just for those who want to listen, but again it’s important you at least read the lyrics.

I want to feel your wreckage, it’s a firestorm
I’m falling like a loaded weapon in your arms
Paranoid it might be reckless, no matter what I say
It’s only going to steal your breath and slip away

I don’t want to dive in first
You don’t want to hear these words
It’s only going to make it worse
You don’t want to live that curse
You’re telling me to keep my hope
Cause you’ve got a heart of gold
But maybe you should let me go
I’ll love you through a periscope

You wear your heart so fearless, it’s like it doesn’t beat
You push away my demons when they torture me
Don’t think that I can fight this pressure pulling me underneath
It’s like I’ve got the whole world tied around my feet

I don’t want to dive in first
You don’t want to hear these words
It’s only going to make it worse
You don’t want to live that curse
You’re telling me to keep my hope
Because you’ve got a heart of gold
But maybe you should let me go
I’ll love you through a periscope

Oh, oh, through a periscope
Oh, oh, I-I’ll love you through a periscope
Oh, oh, through a periscope
Oh, oh, I-I’ll love you through a periscope

I don’t want to dive in first
You don’t want to hear these words
It’s only going to make it worse
But you don’t want to live that curse
You’re telling me to keep my hope
Because you’ve got a heart of gold
But maybe you should let me go
I’ll love you through a periscope

Oh, oh, through a periscope
Oh, oh, I-I’ll love you through a periscope

Songwriters: Colin Brittain Cunningham / Holly B. Hafermann / Jacoby Dakota Shaddix / Jerry Allan Jr. Horton / Nicholas Michael Furlong / Tobin Joseph Esperance
Periscope lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Downtown Music Publishing

The song was released about 4 months before he actually said the L word. I’ll probably never know when he actually listened to the song with me in mind. If he’d been listening for ages then suddenly realised or if he heard it once & thought of me. I mean like I said earlier, he was probing me to say something more than friends a few months ago, so I’m assuming that he realised before me.

I probably have been in love him a lot longer than I will ever admit to him – reading back on my blog posts, it’s evident, but I was living in denial… I am going to get so hurt, his partner is already on maternity leave, less than a month to go before they have another kid together & here I am confessing my love for him. I am the worst kind of human!

Weirdly this same day, all the guys in the chat app groups are talking about guns in the private group we have & Noodle posts a photo of his hand, holding a gun. I am not sure why I never even ask him about it, but I just assume that it’s a toy of his son’s, however it looks pretty real… Why don’t I ask more questions?

Remember Port Lincoln, the guy I hooked up with when I was over there, he is also back, but not enough to get another post, he has been texting me being he is moving back to Adelaide for a few weeks before going to live overseas. He asks to see me multiple times, but I tell him that I am seeing someone, that I have just realised I have feelings for, however, he tells me that “What he doesn’t know, won’t hurt him” I almost laugh out loud. I mean not only have I fucked & kissed 2 guys since seeing Noodle but I am also the other woman doing this to someone else… I mean the irony is not lost on me. However, I guess with Max & Port Lincoln both messaging me to see me, just reminds me how much I don’t want to text with anyone else but Noodle…

I see Noodle, for the first time post the L word on the following Tuesday morning for only 30 minutes before work at my house, it’s early in the morning so we don’t even have time to think about what we want to say. Our sex is hot & steamy but neither of us mention what we said yesterday. I see him again the following Saturday night late when I go meet him at his gym for sex in the carpark. We never speak of the L word in person – it’s like an elephant in the room though, I want to say something, I’m not sure what he wants to do, but he doesn’t say it in real life to me, I think that would be too much if he did anyway. I kind of hope that he doesn’t, I don’t know if I can say it to his face, it makes it too real!

Even though we’ve messaged “I heart you” with the emoji heart every night (because I haven’t been able to say the L word again, so I use the heart emoji) When he writes back “Heart you” I tell him “OMG… that just made my tummy jump” & he asks what I mean. All I send back is a butterfly emoji & he gets it… This ‘heart you’ thing is keeping me really guarded – I have to be, right? I am going to be shattered when this ends. He’s said he’s not going to leave her, they have another baby on the way – I have to keep telling myself this, I have to distance myself from this! But that was all before he said he loves me… Has that changed things for him? How the fuck do I walk away from the first person I’ve ever loved, while still in love with them?? It’s a perfect time too, I mean he’ll pull away once the baby comes & University is starting for me, I will be super busy with studying plus working a full on full time job & going to the gym 3-4 times a week, this is the perfect time to end this fucking ridiculous relationship… But a reader said to me the other day as a perfect description, she’s had the same type of chemistry before, it’s like a drug she couldn’t give up… Well fuck, if that isn’t true for me, then I don’t know what is! I constantly think about giving him up, but I can’t quite seem to cut the ties…

Our next Tuesday night together, I want to remind him that I’m still the kinky woman, that I always was because our chats seem to be more lovely dovey, with hearts & xxx, he needs a reminder. We’ve fucked at the train station once before, but just in the carpark. This time I am planning something different. I make sure that I have scissors in the car. It is a warm night, I wear a short summer dress, we fuck in the car as usual when we get to the train station, it is hot & steamy – sexy, passionate

I cum multiple times riding Noodle as I always do, then I tell him that I want him to use the cable ties that we bought together a few weeks ago but still haven’t used them, I also tell him that I brought scissors. I want him to bend me over the bonnet of car while my hands are tied behind my back. We get out of the car, I feel self-conscious but I know I need to act confident. I get out the car & before he ties my hands he pulls me down to suck his cock while he’s still sitting in the passenger seat. I love when he gets all dominant & rough, shoving his cock down my throat. I don’t need to be confident because he is in charge of me – he knows what we both want & he makes it happen! He pushes me off him & handles me roughly so I’m bent over the bonnet of the car, it’s about 8:00 pm so it’s still light outside in February.

As he’s tying my hands I can feel myself getting turned on & wet, I’m whimpering in anticipation, he asks me if I like that & I nod saying a breathy yes, he chuckles in my ear that he can tell – that sexy chuckle… FUCK, if that wasn’t enough to make me wet, I don’t know what other sound could do that! It kind of frightens me a little, being so restrained – unable to even squirm without them digging into my skin & hurting me – but it also feels so good. A weird awesome pain… I do trust him, but it does cross my mind that this is also his first time with cable ties too. Something could go wrong, however, I don’t have time to think these thoughts as he pulls my panties down to my knees, lifts my skirt up, smacks my ass several times, so fucking hard, I think it’s the hardest he’s ever hit me before, I’m whimpering more, so turned on, so wet & I love the sound we both make as he slides into me from behind, he fucks me hard against the car then he pulls my pony tail, tight & hard, I wince at the pain of the angle I am now on but he knows I love it & he loves being rough with me, pulling me almost right against his chest to make me turn to kiss him. He fucks me so hard that I cum again twice before he does. Jesus Christ… Did the L word intensify our fuck sessions?!

After we head back to his work, I pull up at his car & every week I actually hope like fuck, that he doesn’t say goodbye, that he jumps out, gets his phone, checks it then gets back in my car to chat. Which he does… I love this time with him. I love it more than anything, it’s my uninterrupted time with him where we talk about everything – neither of us playing with our phones or trying to fuck each other. But this is the first time since the L word that we’ve had a Tuesday night chat session. I kind of wish I could tell him how much this time means to me. Why can’t I tell him? We’ve got the sex part down pat & chatting online, but this is what I want. The ability to talk to my best friend in real life, without wondering if he is chatting to someone else or if his partner has gotten out of bed when he disappears online. I get him on a Tuesday night, albeit for a short time, but I get him all to myself.

#IBD4U

Mixed Bag #4 – Vasectomy, Le Mans & Ankle Strapping

Here is the fourth installment of the mixed bag. These stories are seriously hilarious to reminisce over! (For me!) I hope that you are enjoying them as much as I am…

I honestly can’t believe I do some of this stuff sometimes!

Vasectomy

Way back when, I was about 18 or so, one of the very first people I ever slept with, was a guy I met at a nightclub down at Glenelg. We were down there partying drinking – What a surprise. What else did I do when I was younger besides drink & go out? Hahaha.

Anyway, we met & we were dancing & singing, then I was kissing this guy & in those days you actually, spoke to each other, not just sending texts that you can ignore the next day. So he talked to me & asked me to the movies. We go out for dinner & the movies, I remember sitting in the car with him, I was living with my parents & he tells me he can’t take me home. Let’s face it, I’m about 18 or 19, he’s a bit older, but I’m thinking that this guy could potentially be something, when he tells me that he’s got two very young kids & he’s just split up with his wife. In fact that one of them is still breastfeeding! WTF… This might be too much for an 18 year old! He tells me that he’s recently had a vasectomy. Now at that time in my life, I didn’t know if I want to have kids or not. I had always said that I didn’t really want kids & now I know that that is correct in my mid 30’s. However at that time, I was really young & didn’t want that choice taken away from me, so I knew that it wasn’t going to go anywhere with this guy, even though I wasn’t really sure.

I mean this guy had also just left his wife, for fuck sake… We catch up a few times though, the dinner & movies night then I remember having sex with him in my car, which was a tiny little Corolla, in the backseat, and I just remember riding him, as I leaned back in through to the driver’s seat, with him rubbing his hands down my chest, in another shopping centre car park.

It didn’t last very long with him, as I knew it wouldn’t but it was a great experience. I guess something that I wasn’t really expecting. I don’t really what happened, I probably should have written about it back then, but yeah it was a bit of a learning curve I guess.

Le Mans

Back in my younger days there was a fair bit of car racing in Adelaide. We had the Australian Grand Prix, we still have clipsal & we had Le Mans – I think this may have been a once off race, can’t really remember, I was drunk AF.

I went along with friends with pretty much didn’t watch much of the racing at all… I mean we were 3 chicks there for drinks & possibly boys, also the concert (OMG I just googled, it was 2000 that this happened! How do I even remember it?!) Upon the google search it was a new years eve event, that’s why I was there! Apparently there was Spiderbait, You Am I & The Living End… I do not remember this concert at all! FUCK… Either I have dementia or I have pickled my brain with too much alcohol!

I also don’t really remember seeing the cars at all… Was this a special kind of race with special cars? I have no idea! Hahaha… We were kind of just hung around in the general admission area & just drank. Back in those days, they did do bag checks, but not like they do now. We had bum bags (yes a bum back that you wore across your body) with a hidden bottle of vodka in it! So needless to say we were free pouring & got super drunk!

We met a group of boys, I don’t think either of my friends kissed anyone, but lets face it, it’s me… I kissed one of them! Hahaha. We’re standing there watching the memorable concert I’m dancing with this guy, him behind me with his hands on my hips, you know the type of dancing that happens when your guy is behind you. I’m rubbing my ass across his cock, through his pants. Him grabbing my waist tighter & tighter as he enjoys it more & more.

Then he slides his hands down the front of my pants. I spread my legs a little bit to give him a easy access to finger me, as if I am allowing this at a concert with my friends next to me. It’s the first time I’ve ever done anything like that – but probably wasn’t the last, but I allowed this boy to finger me at a concert in public. I’m not sure that anybody actually knew that that’s what was happening & I’m not sure whether any of them saw it, but yep. Now you know, if you were there & you’re reading this. Sorry. But I’m pretty sure he made me cum! Hahaha.

Mixed bag.png

Ankle Strapping

These mixed bags are such a trip down memory lane, again when I was very young, I used to go out out every single weekend. I told you this before many many times & I used to pick up some random dude almost every week too, even if it was just to kiss. (This was back when I had good self-esteem – having not really been screwed over by anyone yet!) I never used to give a shit about what anyone thought about me & I’d go out & wear whatever skimpy thing I had. I was concerned about my weight but I still wore tiny skirts.
I meet someone & I dance with them, then usually ended up going home with them that night, always to theirs (which I never do now). So this one weekend at the local nightclub, it’s nothing new. I found a guy, danced with him all night getting closer & closer until the ugly lights come on & we’re forced out of the nightclub, doing the glace that says on my face ‘is he cute enough to go home with in the light’ without him noticing.
I go home with this guy who lives with his parents, well I live with mine too at this time in my life, so I shouldn’t judge! We got back to his house & we had sex, then I spent the night not having taxi money or knowing where I was.
In the morning, I woke up, a bit disorientated, not knowing where I was or what was happening. He has his back to me, but I can see him kind of doing something. I tried to figure out with the noise, what he was doing when I realise that he was jerking himself off a little, so he would be hard. I kind of stretch out so he knows I’m awake, expecting to have sex with him again, when he rolls over & literally climbs on top of me, slid inside me & fucked me… First lucky it’s me & I was wet from the night before but what if this was a dry woman? I was like dude, where’s the foreplay? I mean, did he really think that yeah him jerking himself off was enough to get him hard, but what about me?
I don’t think he thought about what he was doing to be honest. First of all there are things that you need to do to make sure a woman is wet before you just ram your cock in. If it doesn’t slide in easily & it takes a few attempts, you’ve probably not got her wet enough. I don’t know if it’s that they can’t be bothered with foreplay or that they just want to fuck, but I mean would it even be nice for them to dry fuck something? I highly doubt it because I can tell you now, it’s not a nice feeling when someone tried to dry fuck you.
I mean, I got wet when he started kissing me but I was just intrigued by this. What guys think that is required to actually fuck a chick. Obviously there is a lot more required for all women, but he didn’t seem to care. I hope I didn’t ruin him for other women, because I didn’t train him very well! But I did only have him for one night.
What’s with the ankle strapping? You ask. Sorry. Well, the ankle strapping first of all. So when we got home that night. I didn’t notice it obviously because I was confused about it the next morning. We had sex and I was like, why is this guy taped up? You know like the tape for sport injuries & whatnot. Both ankles were completely strapped to within an inch of their lives… They really did not have any bare skin whatsoever, &it felt kind of funny aganist my feet. It like it was like he didn’t take your socks off, but also a little bit like. What the fuck? I don’t know, it was weird. He told me that he has basketball & he had injured both ankles and had to have them strapped & he hasn’t been able to take the strapping off yet due to his hairly legs. But that’s why he’s called Mr ankle strapping, but it’s really quite interesting. It this story is more about the fact that he literally did not even try & turn me on before trying to fuck me. So I almost got dry fucked, but luckily for me, my vagina is ridiculous & gets wet regardless of what is happening around me & so it was not a dry as a bone. (Whatever that saying really means!)

#IBD4U

Noodle #38

So the next night I go to Noodle’s work, wearing the sexy white lingerie that I was going to wear the day I wore the white dress he loves, this white lingerie, which I’ve shown him pictures of, but haven’t actually worn for him. He no longer has his spare iPhone to fake his location, so he is stuck & I have to go to him a lot more than I used too. I skip the gym & go to see him at his work in a cute dress & white lingerie.

I pick him up & because it’s February it’s daylight savings, so at 7:30 pm it’s still quite bright outside. So we can’t go to our regular spot & so I drive to a train station & pull up in the corner in a car park. We climb in to the backseat & start kissing, me straddling him & I love that moment when I lift my dress up over my head & his eyes pop out of his head once he sees what I’m wearing. Between that & that noise he makes, I swear to god, I feel like the sexiest woman alive, with no flaws, no stretchmarks, I honestly feel on top of the world when I see that look or hear that noise, I mean combine the two of those things & I will pretty much will just cum on the spot! Hahaha.

We fuck in the backseat, I’m not as conscious of fucking in public anymore since the carwash, that’s the most open & exposed sex I think I’ve ever had. This is a bit more secluded but as the sun sets in the night sky, Noodle cums for the first time on my face while cumming on my tits. He loves this when I open my mouth & poke out my tongue, he pretty much cums instantly. Laying there, I take a cute pic of me in the lingerie with his white cum on my face. (Later in the week I update my profile picture on the chat app to this pic – needless to say I get a lot of attention from it!) I clean us both up & we go back to his car & sit there chatting for hours, until 10:00 pm. It’s getting later & later that he’ll sit in the car chatting to me. She sleeps more obviously being more pregnant, so she’s never up when he gets home, so he isn’t too worried about her looking at the apple stalker app as much anymore. This is good for me because he’s also not looking at his phone or watch as much. I am getting undivided attention from Noodle without him looking at the clock. I feel like we are talking more than we fuck on Tuesdays now. I love this time as I’ve said before, just chatting to him, finding out more about him, actually telling him about me, not just talking about food or sex. In fact when we’re not having sex but we’re together, we don’t ever talk about sex. We talk over text all the time about sex, food our lives but in person we talk about ourselves more. I feel like this guy gets me, I get him & this is the first time I remember stuff.

I remember when Boyfriend was breaking up with me & he said to me “You don’t know me at all” & that hit home for me & that was how I know that I wasn’t in love with him. I didn’t know what Boyfriends favourite food was, I knew his favourite band but that’s mainly because music is my thing. I didn’t really know much about him even though we were together for 3.5 years & owned a house together. But with Noodle I am voracious for information about him, remembering everything that he tells me (within reason of course, not every word). OMG is that where that saying comes from? Hanging on every word? Because I do… I hang on every word he says & am always eager to hear more from him. The thing that scares me the most is that the appetite for information about him just seems to grow, even after a year, I can still find things to talk to him about. I still want to chat to him all day when we’re free & he still wants to chat to me.

The next day, it’s Valentine’s day! My most hated day of the year, as you can imagine – I’m always single. It’s a great day when you have a partner who is romantic I guess, which I never do. Expect last year my Nanna passed away & I spent the day with Max, which was really lovely to be honest, he was sweet & just what I needed that day, even though we didn’t have sex. Noodle starts the day by actually saying Happy V day to me, which surprises me, but I lap it up. I am going away for work today, so I pack the car & drive.

On my way to Mt Gambier for work, I pick a random mix on Spoitfy – maybe it’s something to do with valentine’s day & it there’s all these songs I don’t usually listen to or haven’t heard before & most seem to be about heartbreak, not love – WTF is this playlist? But when a song by Paloma Faith comes on, called ‘Only Love Can Hurt Like This’, I listen to the lyrics, they start speaking to me. I hit rewind when it’s done & then again & again, before long I know all the words & am belting out the tune on the drive. Does anyone else ever do that?

For about 3 hours I listen to this song before I realise I think I love Noodle! I stop singing (if I was walking I would’ve probably stopped in my tracks! Kind of like that scene in the movie Clueless when Cher is walking in front of the fountain & says ‘Wait a minute, I love Josh’ & the fountain lights up) so I just stare out the window at this revelation. No way. NO FUCKING WAY. That’s fucking stupid. I can’t love a man that is hiding me from everyone in his life & I’m hiding him from everyone in my life. I haven’t told my best friends that I’m seeing him, I have told my sister but she’s about the only one & I haven’t talk to her about it in a while.

It’s dumb… I’m just getting caught up, this is just a silly romantic song. It’s valentine’s day & he’s says that he’d buy me flowers if I was home… I’m just being an idiot. I mean if he wanted to get me flowers, he could’ve given me some last night! This isn’t love. I’m just best friends with him & he’s being sweet. I’m just being dumb. Let’s squash that idea out my head right now. Phew that was close, I almost caught feelings. I mean I don’t even know what love is… I wouldn’t have a clue what it means… So this is not it…

The song though, gets me, I’ll attach the YouTube clip & lyrics for you – just for those who want to listen. I think you need to at least read the lyrics! Fuck they are just what I’m feeling right now… Except the L word, of course!

I tell myself you don’t mean a thing
But what we got, got no hold on me?
But when you’re not there I just crumble
I tell myself that I don’t care that much
But I feel like I’m dying till I feel your touch

Only love, only love can hurt like this

Only love can hurt like this
Must have been a deadly kiss
Only love can hurt like this

Say I wouldn’t care if you walked away
But every time you’re there I’m begging you to stay
When you come close I just tremble
And every time, every time you go
It’s like a knife that cuts right through my soul

Only love, only love can hurt like this

Only love can hurt like this
Must have been a deadly kiss
Only love can hurt like this
Only love can hurt like this

Your kisses burning to my skin
Only love can hurt like this
But if the sweetest pain
Burning hot through my veins
Love is torture makes me more sure

Only love can hurt like this
Only love can hurt like this
Only love can hurt like this
Must have been the deadly kiss
Only love can hurt like this
Only love can hurt like this
Your kisses burning to my skin
Only love can hurt like this
Only love can hurt like this
Save me, save me
Only love, only love
‘Cause only love can hurt like this
And it must have been the deadly kiss

Songwriters: Diane Eve Warren
Only Love Can Hurt Like This lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

I’m away for work when I get a text from my neighbour telling me that I had flowers delivered & they are sitting in the sun. She knows I’m away for work & asks me if I would like her to take them to her house until I get back on Friday. I am dying to know who sent them to me. Noodle know’s I’m away so surely he wouldn’t send me flowers, but maybe he forgot I am away? I have been scheduling my trips to make sure that I am home on Tuesday nights to be able to see him, so it doesn’t disrupt our fucking schedule so maybe he forgot I was going away. If I ask him & it’s not him, he’ll be jealous & act like a tool. If it’s him & I don’t ask him, he’ll think I don’t care. I decide to just ask him if he sent them & he says no. My heart drops… But I can’t for the life of me think who would send me flowers. When Noodle replies to say that it’s not him, I knew in my heart of hearts that he didn’t send me flowers however, I am actually disappointed. He suggests that it was Max, being he’s back & being a weirdo with me. I dismiss this idea, I don’t want it to be Max, I want it to be Noodle. I get home on Friday & my neighbour comes rushing over with the flowers & they are from Max. FFS. I mean they are beautiful & I am grateful, but my first thought is, did he get his wife flowers? Does she know? & then I wish like hell that they were from Noodle, tbut then I am relieved that Noodle never comes over to my house anymore really, so he won’t see them. I don’t mention them again to Noodle.I see Noodle again on the Saturday for a lunch break fuck, nothing out of the ordinary for us. However it’s in the car somewhere around his work. On Monday we’re talking & being weird with each other, I don’t know if it’s because that stupid song I was listening too. I’m in a weird mood, we’re both being weird with each other & we’re snapping at each other a lot. I am trying not to write back to him as quickly as I usually do. Just letting his message sit there, which kills me & I hate that I am playing this game – but I do. Noodle asks me, ‘Do you wanna know something totally fucked?’ Oh FFS, what could he possibly say at this point, I’m already feeling shit about how we’re talking to each other at the moment, I feel like we are being distant (even though I only saw him 2 days ago for our usual Saturday lunch break – car sex in the backstreets around his work.) So whatever he could say to me now won’t surprise me. I’m sure I’ve heard it all before now anyway in this fucked up situation. So I text back ‘Sure,’ because as if I would say no anyway, but I wait with baited breath for his ‘something fucked’ message to come through. I can see that he is typing, so I keep my phone in my hand at my lunch break walking around work, it feels like forever for him to write it… It pops onto my screen, I stop dead in my tracks. I can’t read it, but I can’t look away….

Noodle’s words stun me:

‘I’m in love with you.’

#IBD4U

Noodle #37

I’ve been asked a few times if I am worried about people reading this blog who are in my blog… Especially the people in this Noodle series… Well this is only my viewpoint & my opinion of what happened, there are always 2 sides to every story – in this case there’s 3 sides! I know my side very well, I’m only getting 1 side from Noodle obviously, however I know there’s another side in this story that I don’t know! I will say this though, that if I use quotation marks in any of my stories, it’s because I have screenshots of messages from the person who wrote to me & that’s a direct quote – complete with spelling errors! Hahaha… Most of my stories are from memories, text messages & pictures. So I am not worried about anyone reading & saying this is made up, because I have the proof that it’s not. My blog is completely non fiction & actually happen to me! Again I’m not proud of what I’ve done or how things have evolved in this story, but I think unless you’ve found this deep, passionate, earth shattering chemistry with a person, then you can’t really understand it fully. Personally, I probably would be sitting there thinking the same things as you guys, had I not experienced it first hand.

Anyway, my favourite part about our Tuesday nights together is the fact that when we go back to Noodle’s car, he doesn’t leave. He gets his phone, checks it & gets back into my car & we sit there for at least an hour or more, just talking. I never thought Noodle would be keen to just talk with me like this, but he obviously does otherwise he wouldn’t do it… We talk about everything, I open up about how I used to be, with the partying, how my life has been, he opens up about his life a lot more too. Our conversations now aren’t about people in the groups, like they were at the start, I guess mainly because that was the thing we had in common, but now they are about us, about our lives our past. I never talk about the future with Noodle face to face. Even though it’s dark & he can’t really see my face, I can’t ever bring myself to tell him in person how I feel about him or what I want from him.

Later that night, when I’m home in bed, I am chatting in the groups & tell them what I have been up too, I wish I could announce that it was with Noodle who fucked me in the carwash but we never admit that stuff in the groups. Noodle does make a comment though about how lucky the guy is & I agree. What a lucky guy who gets to fuck me in a carwash… & to think that someone passed on this opportunity! I wonder if Max regrets that now?!

Before we go to sleep that night, Noodle tells me that he’s tired as it’s after midnight, we’ve spent 3 hours together then chatting for about 2 hours post interaction, but says just before we go to sleep “Thanks for being so awesome #IBD4U! Your truly good to me” I am gobsmacked by this messages & laugh internally “OMG. Are you feeling ok?” Noodle never says stuff like this to me. “Night my super sexy slutty bitch” I laugh “Maybe you do need bed. Night” & I wait for his reply “Fuck you… xxx.” This makes me laugh again as I send my standard xxx back to him. This xxx thing has become a regular occurrence now – Noodle even doing it first sometimes… Fucking hell!

Noodle & I haven’t had a morning fuck for so long. It’s almost like I gave him a key & he gave up his fake iPhone app & I’ve had to make all the effort to go to him. But this next Friday morning at 6:30 am, Noodle is sneaking into my bed. I love morning sex, it’s probably my favourite time of day to have sex. A cheeky afternoon fuck is always fun too but I think there’s something to be said about waking up & fucking. While you’re still sleepy but horny, there’s nothing better sometimes!

We haven’t been able to fuck in our old favourite position that makes me squirt like a porn star, him on top, my legs on his shoulders, him pinning my arms to be bed, staring at me intently. I cannot move & have no choice but to be fucked by him, cumming within about 2 thrusts, I’m not even kidding, his cock shape hits that spot & the fact I can’t move, just gets me going… I do beg him to stop because I am conscious of how wet I am making the bed, but I think the begging him to stop just turns him on more & he keeps going. I mean lets be honest here, I don’t actually want him to stop or I would say red, the safe word, but he knows this too, while I am begging him to stop, it’s not what I mean… This is why safe words are very important. It’s a weird concept though, when you think about it…. Because I’m begging him to stop but don’t mean it, it could be misconstrued, I guess by an onlooker. However, Noodle & I have discussed limits & safe words at length however, I also think that if you’ve had these conversations, trust your partner & know your partner well, then you actually should never need your safe word. Your partner, the Top or Dom should be well equip to read your body to know when you are at your limit. Noodle is the only guy to really push me to my limits, always pushing the boundaries, but never enough that I would ever have to safe word him.

On that same Friday night, I go out with friends for a friends birthday & Noodle reads my message but never replies before he goes offline for the night & he never comes back online when his partner goes to bed & I am laying in bed waiting, like the loser that I am, for him to come back online for a little bit of his time. I am fucking furious, why does this piss me off so much! I always message him back even when I know that he’s offline with his family, but I got out with friends & he refuses to message me. On Saturday morning we have a fight about it, I am so pissed off that he refuses to message me when he thinks or knows that I am out or offline. It doesn’t happen very often that I am offline so I just want him to feel a little bit like I do when he goes offline to be with his family. But he is a stubborn ass & never replies & waits around for my message. He just logs off & refuses to respond. Wanker!Noodle dont talk shut up.pngWe’re chatting a bit weirdly on Saturday, I’m angry & he’s paying attention to me but not really, I feel like he’s distracted. I try to initiate sexy talk but he doesn’t engage so I make myself cum, put my phone done & doze off back to sleep. We chat a bit on Saturday night, I head to my other gym (the same gym as him) at 10:00 pm, hoping that he will say to come visit him at his gym, but he doesn’t & I don’t get to talk to him much.

Sunday comes around & I am being stubborn, I refuse to look at his good morning message which came at 4:30 am till I know that he won’t be online. I am just fucking hurt, angry & feeling foolish. I can’t believe I am in this position & am so fucking perplexed about why I can’t pull myself out of this fucking mess… I am a smart woman, about to start studying law & I can’t sort my fucking love life out! We talk a little bit, I tell him that I came & fell asleep that’s why I didn’t talk to him much on Saturday, he then says night & I say night.

I wake up Monday to nothing from him & I know that he’s not going to message me, I fucking don’t want to message him either, but my fucking god, I can’t control myself. I message him morning & he replies. As we talk, I explain how I feel & he apologises for the weekend, this is the first time I actually think he’s sincere about an apology “No I am sorry. You think normally when I wake up for a piss I message you at 4:30. Believe it or not I don’t want to make you feel stupid or foolish. Nor do I want to hurt you or piss you off. Some lame ass reason  actually care about you. Even if I don’t always show it/can’t show it.” I ask if he means it & he says yes, I actually believe this apology. “You wanna know why I don’t message you when your out. Cos I don’t want to feel foolish. Don’t want to not get a message back while your distracted doing whatever your doing that night. Which in my head is fucking people. Hahaha. So I kinda get it from your point of view” OMG is he kidding me! How often do I have to reassure this guy? “I know!!! That’s why I said you don’t get it. I always feel like a fool but you refuse to let yourself so you don’t message me. You finally get it!” FINALLY! “I still feel foolish & make foolish mistakes. But jeez, I don’t let it get to me like you do hahaha.” Yeah because he has a partner & kid to distract him, he’s not sitting at home alone overthinking like I do, but it doesn’t get to him because he deosn’t reply so he doesn’t have to feel foolish, he says “Sometimes I do. I’ve had my moments, but I just don’t tell you” True, I can’t hold in my feelings sometimes when I get angry. I remind him “Today you didn’t want to continue the convo in case I didn’t want to talk to you… Cos you don’t want to feel like a fool. So instead it makes me feel more foolish.” Does he not get this? “No I was pissed at you & was being a jerk.”  Yeah well I knew that! I don’t know what he’s pissed with me for though.. “I was pissed you fell asleep sat… During the time we can chat… then pissed you ignored me Sunday morning. & then said nothing to me Sunday night & coldly said night to me. Yeah I have my lame moments too.I mean on Friday night he didn’t even say goodnight to me, so how can he be upset that I said Night. Cold or otherwise, at least I said it! He tells me ”I just wanted to chat to you. I had missed you… Then I was like well fuck you bitch” he tells me that he wasn’t happy I disappeared & went back to sleep on Saturday again. I reply ”You have no idea how it feels to have you disappear for me… But I don’t do it to you on purpose. I know you don’t either but I’m sure it doesn’t feel the same for you since you’re off living your life” He’ll never feel the same as me on this. No matter what he says ”Half the time living my life thinking about you constantly tho. ” Awww FUCK!

I tell him that I don’t know that he’s thinking about me when he’s not with me. ”Considering I haven’t deleted the chat app for the last week & messaged you every chance I get. I’m just as loserish as you. ” Fuck that makes me laugh! ”I get you think that but I don’t know it… Even when you tell me, I don’t really believe it. ”  It’s hard for me to believe that he is thinking about me when he’s just logged off & not bothered to message me. & Fuck that he hasn’t been deleting the chat app, my fucking face is my profile picture, she’ll know what I look like should she find the fucking app! Jeez, he’s risking a lot. What if she asks for his phone, I’m fucked & so is he! ”What part of me telling you I have feelings for you do you not fucking get? ” Alright, jeez… hahaha. ”The same part you don’t get.” Hahaha, being that he still thinks I’ve fucking someone else. ”I fucking see you every time we can now? & even like the parts when we don’t fuck. Just chat & shit… Only problem is we have such fucking amazing hot sex it overshadows our friendship part” Hahaha, that’s true, it sometimes does which is why we end up in these fights. I tell him that we both fucked up on the weekend, lets just have sex & make up & he agrees. Saying that we’d be one of the couples who has sex to fix everything ”I’ll be shitty at you tho (rarely tell you I am) once I’ve cummed in you all is forgiven.”

#IBD4U

Noodle #36

The next night Noodle & I meet at his work, he’s later than usual & so I go to the gym, but I decide to wear some sexy new red lingerie for him. I am not sure why I do this after how I feel, but I want to feel sexy. I am not sure he can even touch my clit today after the record breaking amount of orgasms I had yesterday but I fuck him anyway in the back of the car – not wanting to miss an opportunity to see him. How easily I forget the things he says to me & how easily I am willing to see him after I feel like a fool. What is wrong with my vagina?!

It’s like there’s a ticking time bomb with everything we say, we can’t be straight with each other anymore, he thinks things are a compliment but I am taking offence to the things that he’s says. He tells me “Don’t make me admit I have feelings for you again…” I tell him he doesn’t have to admit it, I know & it’s why he’s an asshole to me.

Do you guys remember Milky? I am telling to Noodle about fact that I am covered in Noodle’s cum from fucking him still & his cumming on my tits, the place he loves to cum the most. When I tell him how Milky used to jump up & shower pretty much right after we finished fucking. It used to weird me out a little, like I was so dirty that he had to shower, however with Noodle, I am a different kind of dirty, Noodle loves the fact I’m always covered in his cum “Ha I’ve slept next to my wife after fucking you… My cock covered in your cum… Kinda find it hot” Jesus it’s hot but fuck it’s so terrible that we did that… Probably more than once.

The next morning I wake up to messages from Noodle, I know he’s being funny being that I get messages like this all the time from guys on the chat app “Good Morning Beautiful. You have stunning eyes. Your eyes sparkle like the sea. Wanna meet up baby. Hi. Hi. Hi. Add me on Snapchat xxx” then he sends me a dick picture. & what makes me laugh the most about those messages, is that it’s exactly what some guys send to me, I’ve shown him before so he’s trying to lighten the somber tone we’ve been messaging each other the last week, I am smiling for the first time in a while. So I write back “My panties are so soaked. Your cum, my cum, my wet pussy… I wish you were sliding into me right now… Hard cock, wet pussy. Yep, just like that baby” he sends a heart eye emoji & says “Do you say that to all the guys” I tell him that it’s my standard response when someone asks for my snapchat & I’m laughing. He then asks me if my snapchat still has my real name as my user name & I can’t help but wonder if it wasn’t my real name, would he add me? Stupidly when I made my snapchat account I used my first & last name as the user name & you can’t change it, so I never give it out to anyone anymore once I realised. I wonder if it wasn’t my real name, would Noodle add me & just pretend I’m someone from his work. & because the messages delete, she’d never know & he could talk to me in front of her?! I never add him on snapchat so I’ll never know. But probably for the best to be honest.

Later on I am being needy again & probing him to admit he likes me without actually asking, he asks me why I keep asking him to admit his feelings for me, I tell him because I need to hear it but what I don’t tell him is that he needs to hear it. He needs to start to realise that I am more to him that just his slutty mistress giving him the best sex of our lives but I am someone he has genuine feelings for! He says that “Hmmm gotta keep my cards close to my chest” I think that it’s just insane, I’m the one that will be hurt here “I have to more than you do. I’ll get way more hurt than you will!” he says “You think I won’t get hurt?” I guess he’ll be hurt for a bit but “No. You’ve got your family. You’ve got your other life.” She’ll find out & he’ll forget me, making up lies to her about me to salvage his family – as much as I am playing over in my mind all the amazing things that could happen if he left her, realistically, he is never going to leave… What am I still doing with this guy? “You’re a part of my life now tho” OMG. That’s why! FUCK… I don’t think he knows what he’s saying but I stupidly lap it up “Awwww. I think that’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me. Ever.” I know what he’ll respond with, something about not meaning it “Errr. I mean. Whattt. Shhhh you.” I laugh at that, knowing that what he would say but then I get “I consider you a close friend & a lover. & yet it would hurt when I do lose you” FUCK… A lover?! Jesus… But did you pick up on the bit that stings?! ‘When I DO lose you’ FUCK. Meaning he is going to lose me no matter what… I’m such a fucking fool. One minute he says I’m part of his life, next he’s saying he’ll lose me! I am so confused… I mean I know he is & doesn’t think he is worthy of me, but fuck, I’ve been seeing this guy for almost a year on a weekly basis… I mean if he doesn’t understand what I feel for him now, will he ever? Will I just be constantly reassuring him for the rest of my life if we get together?

This has also been around the time that Max has been messaging me, quite a lot actually, including joining groups to chat to me when I don’t reply to him. He has started calling me Angel as I have changed my profile picture to a snapchat filter, that I know that I look cute in but Noodle hates, so I put it up just to be annoying. But Max loves it calling me Angel or Muffin in the groups, so much so other people notice that he’s being a weirdo & a bit creepy with me. A few people say things to him, including Noodle that Max changes his name to Creepy Max. Noodle is so super jealous, I know he is, but he makes jokes out it. I have also kept to myself that Max is messaging me privately. I’m certain that Noodle would know that he has been messaging me but I haven’t told him per se.

Noodle Glow diffrently

So tonight when Max is saying goodnight, Noodle says the same to me privately “Night angel muffin” & I laugh because terms of endearment do not come easily out of Noodles mouth. I say “Night baby cakes” & he replies “Night belly bacon” This is hilarious. “That’s a compliment coming from you cos you lurvvvve bacon” I know that one of Noodle’s favourite foods is bacon, I actually learn later than his favourite food is ribs. I am also careful not to say the word love here too… I say lurvvve instead… He says “Well I do. Night frosted doughnut” his other favourite food, something he does love! I tell him that I bust out laughing & he says “Your doughnut needs my frosting on it. xxx” Fuck, Noodle just used my little kisses… So I send them back, smiling like an idiot as I snuggle down to sleep!

Things are sort of back to normal, just chatting normally every day while we can, we don’t talk much about feelings or anything like that, probably for the best. I am being cheeky on Saturday when I go to see him for lunch, I have just bought some g strings that have written on the back ‘Whore’ & ‘Slut’ I decide to wear the whore ones today for him & lift my skirt so he can see. I know that he won’t take them off my wanting to fuck me from behind to see my ass printed with whore. I used to find all things degrading like name calling or wearing something like this so bad & I used to hate stuff like this. But with this guy, I love it, I love how he reacts, I love how turned on we both get, it feels amazing when he calls me “his slut” or “his whore”, I don’t know if it’s just because he’s calling me “his” or because I know that he doesn’t call anyone else those things. I am his & he can do whatever he wants with me, to me, with me. I meet him at his work for lunch & I don’t tell him where we are going but I have plans to go to the hardware store & get him to buy cable ties, something we’ve also been talking about restraining me with. I am wearing a short dress & my whore g string, which I’d sent him a picture before I left my house so he knows what is under this cute summer dress. We’re walking around the hardware store & find the cable ties when he runs his hand up my leg to my ass… Fuck just that little gesture, makes me hot for him. I tell him we need to get out of here ASAP before the sight & feel of him makes me cum in the hardware store. He pays for the cable ties, which I find sexy too (I’m not sure why watching him at the checkout paying with his apple watch is hot, but maybe it’s the fact he’s buying something naughty for us to use.)

We drive to our usual Saturday spot & we get into the back seat & I first ride him till I cum & then climb off poking my ass in his face so he can actually see the whore g string. He squeezes my ass making that noise I love & he pushes me down to fuck me really hard, pulling my hair telling me that “You are my whore, cum for me” FUCK. As if on command, I cum really hard & I can’t stop even if I tried. I hear about these women, including his partner that stop themselves, well fuck, I don’t think I ever could. Especially with this guy, there is no way I could ever stop myself. & to be really honest with you, I wouldn’t even want to stop myself. I love cumming & I love cuming with him, he loves to watch me cum, feel me cum, so why wouldn’t I want to cum for him?

Noodle tells me that his son has found the spare iPhone that he uses to fake his location, in his car middle console (Why would Noodle keep it there?! Fuck he’s an idiot sometimes. He knows she goes through his car & gym bag.) His son asked what is was for & Noodle told his son that it’s a spare play phone for him to play with when they’re driving. His son gets excited about a play phone & I worry that his son will tell his mum about this phone in Noodle’s car. I think this is really risky, but Noodle doesn’t see it the same way as I do. However it’s around this time too that Noodle stops using the phone to fake his location because he had to name them something different & he asks me by sending me a screenshot if I notice that one has a capital letter for his first name & that the other had a small letter for his first name. I tell him that I notice that one phone is white & the other is black, which is what freaks him out more & he stops using it. Is this guy really worth the risk I’m taking?!

I tell Noodle about a fantasy of fucking in a car wash, I’ve told him this before to be honest & he’s always said he wants to do it. I had told Max about this fantasy but we never did it, when I suggested it, Max just sent me an emoji of a surprised face but then told me that he’d just washed his car. Well fuck, alright!

Noodle is super keen on the idea, we’ve been talking about it for a while & so this Tuesday night when I pick him up for work, we are planning to fuck in the carwash at the service station. I’m excited for even more daring sex, I mean the fact I’m fucking a partnered guy & could get caught any moment is hot as fuck of course, but the fact that we might get caught fucking in the carwash is super exciting. I skip the gym to be at his work early & the sun is still shining being early February, I wear a summer dress for easy access. I pick Noodle up & head to the local service station with a automatic car wash, we park & I go into buy a ticket, Noodle decides he’s hungry & orders Subway for his dinner. Standing next to him at subway, I feel awkward & we barely touch, but fuck I want to just reach out & grab him, cuddle him & have him do the same back. But I am self conscious about public displays of affection, one because someone from his work might walk in & two because I am just not confident sometimes that a guy wants me to touch them. & I don’t want to be all over them if they don’t want that… I need to get over myself to be honest because clearly he wouldn’t care at this point in our relationship, surely. But I am careful being that we are close to his work. But I feel the tension building as we stand so close, dribbling on about shit from the day to each other. His Subway takes forever, like I have never spent so long waiting for a fucking sandwich, even Noodle comments on how fucking slow they are. Is it just cos we’re so eager to fuck in the carwash or are they actual being slow? Hahaha.

We get his subway & I drive around to the carwash, where we have to wait for another car, Noodle scoffs his Subway while we’re waiting, which also seems like forever. There is a car behind us now too. This doesn’t seem to faze Noodle as we’re sitting there waiting, he tells me to suck his cock. I know I am here to fuck this guy in public but I feel conscious of sucking his cock in this twilight daylight until he takes it out & looks at me with a stern look telling me to suck it. So hot & sexy that I do. I don’t make him cum before the car in front of us finishes & as I sit up in the car, I notice a camera on us. Noodle again isn’t fazed but I am now worried that I’m not going to be able to go through with this.

I drive into the car wash & fucking hell, there is a glass wall on one side looking out to the small carpark & a fucking glass wall with the service station in it. It’s the back of the counter, there is no one there but I say to Noodle as the carwash starts, that I don’t think we should do this. He asks why & when I tell him why, he says just climb on my cock. I hesitate before he commands me to get out of the drivers seat & onto him in the passenger seat. I doubt with this much worry in my head, that I’ll be able to cum. Also surely the person behind us can see that I’ve just climbed across the seats. Isn’t this what you wanted though? To fuck in a carwash? However I never thought it would be as the sun was setting & with glass walls around me. However as I slide on Noodle’s cock, all of that disappears & I am riding him hard, popping my tits out of the top of my dress for him to suck my nipples. I am riding him longer than usual before he says “Cum for me” & as if on command, I do… How does he do that to me? A husky whisper in my ear & I do as I’m told… As the car wash finishes, Noodle hasn’t cum yet so we drive to another location & fuck again, until he cums all over me. I have to say that I reckon this is the hottest thing I have ever done, fuck in a carwash! So sexy, naughty & fun!!

#IBD4U

Max #10

Max is back! I can almost hear the groans from you!

This will be a relatively short one today, for those who settle down with their morning coffee, it’s not one of those blogs today! Sorry.

Yep, He’s been in the groups again, not very successfully I must admit. He’s being creepy with me calling me weird things & then even changes his name on the chat app to Max Creepy. He messages “Good morning Sugar.” & all I write back is morning a few hours later then get nothing till the next day at about the same time “Good Morning precious.” Every message comes with an emoji too. The kissing cheek one or a flower – always an emoji of some sort. I mean this is confusing to me, not my feelings for Noodle but the fact that surely he knows from Sweetie & from me that I am seeing Noodle & he knows that I’ve told sweetie I have feelings for him. Surely he knows all that?

Noodle is in every group with me so he sees Max join the groups. They are both awkward with each other. Noodle is a complete ass to him all the time… I mean, considering that Noodle’s cock has been inside Max’s wife, it’s probably not a good idea to piss each other off. Maybe that’s what it is? Or is a pissing contest about me or her? I don’t tell Noodle that Max is private messaging me, but every day I get something from him. I don’t engage but he keeps trying.

Eventually one day, he messages me this “This probably sounds creepy. But I keep thinking about you being restrained and blindfolded, & running my fingertips down your cheek & all over your body, then slowly up your legs… Doing that over & over until you start to wriggle & moan” I will admit, that it made me kind of hot, but only because my thoughts were of  Noodle doing these things to me. Not Max.

I don’t write back to him at all, to be honest… The next morning “Busy tonight sexy girl?”  I ignore. I hate that I am ignoring but I don’t know why he doesn’t get the hint or have a conversation with Sweetie to find out there I’m at with Noodle.

The next day “Good Morning Petal” which I ignore too.

The next day “Good Morning Beautiful” to which I also ignore…Max invest in you.pngI must accidentally click on the messages turning the D to an R & he knows I’ve read the bloody thing. He writes back again “How have you been? Is everything ok?”  I am not one to ignore, so I tell him that I’ve been good & that everything is fine. I am trying to be an nonchalant as I can but also disinterested so he backs off. He replies “Ok, ummm. In that case… are my messages unwelcome? If you prefer I leave you alone then I will.”  When I get that message, I feel bad to be honest, which is dumb after the way that he treated me only 8 or 9 months ago. I reply “Just don’t want to get involved with you again, you tell me one thing then do another… I’m happy with my situation & don’t want to jeopardise it.” He replies back “Ok, I’ll stop with the messages. I want to be friends still. Message me one day if you ever feel the same way.” Look to be honest, I was never really friends with him, he put in the effort, lots of effort, got what he wanted, got bored with it so then he changed the dynamic & pissed me off, which I think was justified on my part… Don’t just fuck me & call me your girlfriend if you really just want to be a slut like he said he does!

Max leaves the groups & I tell Noodle that he’d been messaging & I even send him a screenshot of the messages so he can see, because I know that Noodle wouldn’t believe me, I want to show him that I have nothing to hide. I have been cheeky with other people who’ve private messaged me, I will admit that, but I haven’t with Max. I want Noodle to know that. I want to prove that I am the loyal person that I thought I was & I know I deserve better than the snippet of time that I get with Max which is allowed to see me. I mean I see Noodle more than I saw Max & Max had permission to see me & a wife that really liked me, so the fact that I never saw him or that he stopped putting in effort, just left the path for Noodle to swoop in & be the guy who always writes back & sees me, no matter what it may cost him!

#IBD4U