Many years ago in my early twenties, way before I was ever with Boyfriend, I used to go out with a group if people that I used to work with at Foodland. Italian used to be best friends with one of my good friends so he was always around, coming out with us, which was cool because he was cool… One night, he & I worked out that we actually went to the same primary school & knew each other from there too as well as work. This is Adelaide for you, everyone knows everyone. I’m actually surprised that so many people get away with cheating! Hahaha. But anyway…

Nothing ever happened with Italian because I ended up with boyfriend & they were good mates too being that they worked together. We kinda lose contact a few years while I am playing house & living with boyfriend – boyfriend & I didn’t go out as much when we bought the house but then when we broke up, I started going out with the friends again & Italian was always around again because he is friends with my good friend.

I’d just moved back into my parents house for a while while I rent out the house I own & save money to go to Canada to live for a while. Italian lives around the corner in the same suburb so we swap numbers, messaging every now & then. He seemed to be available to pick me up from parties when I’m too drunk & then he takes me out for long drives when neither of us have anything to do. (This is obviously before petrol cost more than a kidney transplant per litre)

We kiss many many times over a few months of this routine of him picking me up, us chatting & driving then going parking. One night when he pulls up, switches off the car we are kissing with heavy petting, he then pushes my head down to suck his cock (that was a pet hate back then, I always hated when they pushed your head down to suck them, like I always preferred to do it because I wanted to, not because they pushed me down there!) We’re sitting in the dark & I’m sucking his cock, I remember asking him if he’s going to cum, he says no, so I stop. But after all this action with him we never go out on a date, like dinner & a movie or even just drinks, just the 2 of us. When we go out with friends – which was most weekends, we’d always end up in the taxi together because we live so close to each other, yet we never actually sleep together – that could be because we’re both living with our parents at that time, we somehow just become friends who kiss once in a while & share cabs… If that’s a thing!

One night while I am house sitting my friend’s house, he’s texting me as we usually did & I invite him over letting him know that I am in bed already & in my PJ’s watching TV. He says that’s ok & he comes over. I figure that this is the night that we will finally have sex. He comes over, we kiss for a while, a long while before he takes off my top, he pushes my head down to give him a blow job but then he stops everything. He hangs around for a few minutes but then leaves. I sit there putting my top back on, feeling like the worlds biggest idiot… What the fuck just happened here & what the hell was I thinking?

He texts me later that night to say sorry that he left but his cousin went missing & his head isn’t in the right place… Rightio, at least is wasn’t me?! I don’t know if I buy his story especially since it’s about the last time we ever really see each other… He stops coming out & we lose contact again. I hear that he’s married now & here I am like 10+ years later still single & struggling to get guys to go on a second date with me!! Then the ones I do get to go on a second date with me, decide they don’t like me anyway or I am so bored on the date that I never want to see them again, yet stupidly I always give them a second, third & fourth chance.


Am I so scared of being alone that I am that willing to just let guys walk all over me all the time?



Noodle #10

Noodle is constantly saying things in the groups about how hot I am, I always say that he’s lying – that’s our banter, when he says stuff about me but then he says to the group “Ummm one dude just called you hot another beautiful, I don’t think I’m lying somehow” I am secretly loving the things he says, that I screenshot his comments… I’m not sure why, maybe because I want to remember that feeling when I initially read it. When he tells everyone that I’m the hottest in the group or when he uses heart eye emojis when I update my profile picture & he tells me in private that he likes my picture but he also tells the groups the same, making it so obvious that he’s into me. I like it & it makes me feel so special. *Screenshot!*

Before all this, I don’t think I mentioned that Sweetie is probably one of the only ones I’ve told that I am actually fucking Noodle, she’s become more a friend than Max & I tell her a bit, but not too much, when one day I see a message pop up on my screen from her “Do you think Noodle would sleep with me?” FUCK! That’s unexpected… I feel my heart beat faster & this weird feeling come over me. Would he fuck her? I don’t want him too… I don’t want to ask him but I also don’t want her to ask him… I have to deal with this… I don’t know what these feelings are, but fucking hell, is it jealously? Why do I care who he fucks? I’m also a little upset with her, she knows how much of a struggle it is to meet men & has seen on all the drama on the chat app of people who share men, that I don’t know why she would ask. I tell her this, but I also decide to have a conversation with Noodle about it too… I’m scared about what he’ll say, will he say that he wants too? Will he want her over me? I mean she has 4 kids so she doesn’t have as much time as me, but I don’t want him to choose me over her because of convenience.

I explain to her that I don’t want a guy to come between us & that I didn’t think that she’d ever pursue a guy that I was seeing. (I guess this is completely nuts to say to someone after I have just fucked her husband for the last 5 months!) But FUCK I am jealous… Ok I admit it… I am jealous… FUCK I am jealous… Damn it. I know that Noodle doesn’t find Sweetie as attractive as he does me, that’s been established by him telling me how much he likes me. I tell him what Sweetie has asked & he says that he wouldn’t fuck her without me. PHEW! I toy with the idea of a 3sum with him & her. But I am not ready to share Noodle yet… I feel like I don’t get enough time with him as it is, despite how this blog seems, it’s seems like I never get to see him… However I mean we talk all the fucking time, so I probably talk to him more & see him more than his partner does! What a relief that he doesn’t want her…

A couple of days later, I am seeing him again, he comes over much earlier at 5:30 am. I mean, for him, he’d have to get up at 4:30 am to be dressed & at mine by 5:30 am, he lives about 20-25 minutes south from me, so he has the drive & also has to get ready for work too, so not to raise suspicion with his partner.

I’m in bed with the door unlocked & he meets me in bed. We don’t have long this morning, he’s only at my house just over an hour, he wakes me up with his cold body, rubbing his hands all over me, kissing the back of neck as I always like him to spoon me when he gets into bed with me, once we fuck, with him doing his signature move with me, my legs on his shoulders, pinning my wrists to the bed, I am unable to move or stop myself from cumming, I briefly wonder later how his partner stops herself from cumming with him, I find it impossible… There is no way I could even stop if I tried… I roll over & take charge again, sitting up on him & riding his cock. I stop to grab a vibe when he grabs my phone & takes picture of me, which of course I hate but he loves… He tells me later “You look amazing on top of me arched back riding me” with a heart eye emoji. He tells me that he likes when I am confident & that he “Aims to make you feel as sexy as you actually are! Confident #IBD4U is fucking hot” Wow… This is unexpected for Noodle to be saying to me, he usually isn’t like this, but recently, I guess he knows that if he wants this to keep going, I need something more than just sex with him. He tells me that “Sex with you is amazing” that “Horny #IBD4U is fucking hot, sex with you is amazing! – Yeah I wanna fuck you again…” JEEZ! We are in so deep here… I love when he says stuff like this to me – more screenshots, do I actually like this guy? Does he like me? Am I just a fuck to him?

This week Noodle has been planning being with me all day Saturday, his partner is at work, he’s pretending to have to work & so he just has to get someone to look after their son so he can come to my house. He works it out that his mum will have the kid so he says he can come over whenever I am free after around 7:30 am. Now remember this is the night after the last time I saw Origin, I didn’t have sex with him but we’d had the weed muffin, I was so tired & I barely woke up to message Noodle to tell him I am awake. I hope that I wake up when he gets here… I don’t like this lethargic feeling. It’s fucked, I want to wake up. Noodle crawls into bed with me & snuggles into my back… This is where I want him to stay, this feels so good when I am this sleepy. He is constantly rubbing his hands up & down my sides, it feels divine, I want to wake up properly & enjoy this but my head doesn’t seem to want to cooperate.

I don’t tell Noodle what I did last night with Origin because I don’t want him to judge me for taking drugs & I also know that he gets jealous of other guys, even though we aren’t exclusive. I try to be awake & just blame it on drinking too much & having a hangover, we fuck & lay there just chatting, me facing him & him stroking my hair.. Have I died & gone to heaven? Fucking hell I adore this… Around lunch time Noodle says that he’s going to get some food, I start to panic, thinking he’s not going to come back – I don’t know why, I mean he can’t really go home now being that his kid is being babysat, but he does come back & brings me back Hungry Jacks (Burger King for those places other than SA) which we eat in bed. I have perked up a little, but this is not what I had planned for this amazing day that we planned. I didn’t expect to want to be comatose the whole day, I also tell him I am dreading going to Sweetie’s birthday tonight too… WAKE UP GEOFF! Fucking hell, this guy is here for the whole day with you & you can’t wake the fuck up for him.

When Noodle suggests a bath, I think yes, that’ll wake me up, we’ve had sex several times but it’s not really kinky or different… I hate this – I want to be kinky with him all the time, I don’t want to give him straight run of the mill sex… I run the bath & we get in, this time I am down then other end & face him with my legs up on his chest. We sit there chatting & relaxing, let me tell you that this is by far my favourite thing to do with Noodle! I love this day, I mean I wish I was awake & I can’t wait till we somehow do it again but this guy just makes me feel so good that I am fucked… Am I catching feelings for this guy? No, shut that fucking down, right now!

Noodle Sex feel together cheating.png

Later Noodle tells me that he felt like I didn’t want him there that day (OMG if only he knew how much I loved it…) & also how pissed he was that I told him that I didn’t want to be with Max & Sweetie that night, yet I did play with them… WTF? NO WAY… I wanted him there more than anything, I actually loved it, just relaxing in bed & the bath with him, it’s was a pure bliss day for me, besides the fact I was completely wiped out… I do eventually confess to him that I had a weed muffin the night before & that’s why I was so out of it, that I did want him there, more than I wanted anything. I also meant what I said about not wanting to play with Max & Sweetie, that wasn’t a lie… At this point, I haven’t ever lied to Noodle about our relationship, I have told some white lies but I haven’t told him anything to boost his ego. I do love fucking him & I did want him there. I feel fucking horrible that he felt that way, it definitely was not my intention… FUCK!

Ironically after this day, I never see Origin again, nor do I see Max again. I am down to this one guy, the one thing I was trying to avoid was only fucking one guy… I was happy exploring the kinky side of things with everyone, but now I am down to just Noodle… Do you want to know the fucked thing about that? Is that I only want Noodle… I could find another guys to fuck me, I could probably find a distraction easily, I could even end things with Noodle, but even writing that hurts me… I can’t end it with this guy, I have to see this through… I have to see where this goes.



During my time on the chat app, I made a few friends. I apparently became quite influential in the groups & am the owner of quite a few, some because I created them & some because I inherited them when the original owner left the group, the chat app just give the ownership  to someone else. I was quite open in the beginning to chat to people via private message but I became jaded very quickly & stopped replying to people in private message, because usually they’d ask for nude pictures of me, they’d get really dirty chatting trying to sext me or send a cock shot to me. At some point throughout all this, I did chat to Donkey before I found out he is married with a pregnant wife & actually the brother of one of the girls I had become friends with, who I am not sure is 100% all there – like not playing with a full deck of cards all there & I’m almost certain she has a crush on Noodle. Noodle & I would cringe when she shared a tit picture in one of the private groups, I always almost felt like I was encouraging a mentally disabled person to share nudes, which of course we never asked her to share, she just did to fit in with everyone, but it made us both feel very uncomfortable.

Now, I’m not a saint, I am in the midst of an ongoing sordid affair with a Noodle also – so I’m not judging Donkey for cheating, but Donkey was different to Noodle, he was a cocky guy telling everyone in groups about his conquests etc, apparently taking pictures of him fucking them & then sharing them without their permission. There was also some drama apparently about a chick that fell in love with him & because he was sleeping around with anyone that would fuck him from the app & also this chick, it caused a big rift, I heard that people were going to tell the pregnant wife & all sorts of shit… I also didn’t really understand why the sister wouldn’t say something to her brother or to the sister, I guess that does say something about her mental capabilities. But this all made me so happy that Noodle only wanted me & even though I wanted everyone to know about us, it was good that didn’t need to tell a lot of people either.

I put up a very cheeky picture as my profile picture for the longest time, it just so happened to be just my face & a some of Noodle’s cum on my cheek (story to come!), which got me lots of attention from everyone, I got so many people trying to chat to me, it made Noodle so jealous, but at this point, I am only fucking him & I don’t want the attention – well I do, but I don’t… Hahaha… This picture even got me banned twice for a 12 hour stint. This is when Donkey uped the ante & he asked his sister to private message me & show him what I respond to her. (She actually showed me what he was asking by screen shotting it – see below) then he asked her to ask me to fuck him. Like a pimp?! He also offered to pay me to fuck him! WTF!!

Disclaimer: Pic is real!

Now I don’t have a problem with people offering me money, at the time it seriously went through my mind for a split second at what I would actually charge for my services… But I don’t think I could go through with it anyway… I should have asked how much he was willing to pay & work out what my going rate would be. I still wonder what he would actually pay & what he would expect me to do.

However I am happy with what I have right now, I don’t want to jeopardise what I have with Noodle, because I know he hates Donkey with a passion, I think it’s just because he’s so into me & because he was a complete asshole to the other women. But I have made a decision, that I am not going to fuck anyone else. Not that I was was even considering Donkey seriously, he’s not even my type… But he is so keen & willing to pay me. I mean seriously, who would even ask their mentally challenged sister to ask her friend to fuck him for money? Desperate!

UPDATE: Donkey has messaged me on my new profile recently to ask if we could start fresh, putting everything behind us & chat. I ignored him for the 184503 time!


Erotica: Scene Twelve – Payback

Lucky last….!

This is the last instalment of the erotica series written by me. Then I’m back to only posting on Tuesdays, Fridays & Sundays!

I hope that you have enjoyed this series! It’s been interesting sharing it with you & you should be starting to see why it was relevant to my blog but not necessary to the story!

Here’s a link to the other scenes… Scene one – Nipple Bells, Scene two – Wake Up Call , Scene Three – His Orgasm & Scene Four – The Wake Up Call , Scene Five – Blindfold, Scene Six – Shower, Scene Seven – Anticipation, Scene Eight – Watching, Scene Nine- Quick Fuck, Scene Ten – Her Surprise & Scene Eleven – Prick.

Scene Twelve – Payback

I’m laying on the bed face down, frustrated as a teenage boy when I hear the shower turn off.
I lay still, wondering if he’ll come make me cum.
He doesn’t.
I can’t even hear where he has gone.
I don’t move.
I don’t hear him at all so I jump when he says sternly
“Stand up” I awkwardly get up, trying to be fast but stumble, his hand grips my arm tightly to help me.
The look in his blue eyes is so dark, that I open my mouth to apologise but he stops me before I can with a finger over my mouth.
He picks up his tie that’s on the bed, I put out my wrists ready for him to tie them but he looks at me with a look that I know I am in for a night to remember…
He chuckles in front of me as he sees me with my wrists together, waiting for him to wrap the tie around.
He holds the tie up in front of my face.
We lock eyes & he’s looking sinister as I have a look of despair.
He is not going to go easy on me tonight.
He gives me one last grin as he wraps the tie around my eyes.
Everything is dark.
He ties it around the back & brings the end to the front to tie tightly in a knot over my eyes.
It’s almost painful.
He pushes something against my mouth, it forces me to open it & he ties the ball gag around my head.
He knows I am cautious of gags, so this is a real punishment for calling him a Prick.
He could spank me as punishment, but he knows I like it.
Hs pulls my arm, I stumble forward.
He guides me, but I don’t know to where.
When he stops me, I am disorientated, but his hand grabs my ankle & pulls it to the side.
He attaches a velcro strap to it.
He moves to the other ankle, moving it so I am spread open.
He is going to make me stand.
He runs the tip of his fingers up my legs, over my pussy quickly to make me jolt backwards & my ass hits something.
he grabs my wrist & puts it above my head, attaching a velcro strap to it too, then doing the same to my other wrist, that’s when I realise I am tied to the door.

Scene twelve prick sex orgasm.png

I am tied to the door, exposed, spread open, senses heightened from being so turned on, waiting, wanting.
I feel like I am there for a long time, before I feel him in front of me again.
Something sharp touches my hand, my fingers curl.
As it runs down my arm, I realise he has a wartenberg pinwheel.
I try to pull away as he glides it down my arm to my collar bone & down across my nipple.
I try to cry out, it feels so amazing, but the gag just gets in my way.
He keeps running it across my nipples, from side to side.
I pull on the restraints & my knees keep giving way, but it doesn’t help.
I am stuck at his mercy.
His hand strokes my inner thighs, if I could talk I’d beg him to touch me.
I thrust my hips as much as I can to let him know what I want.
His hand teasing me with the pinwheel pulls my ponytail so my ear is brushing his lips
“You… will… not… cum”
He can’t see my eyes but I roll them under his tie, moaning against the gag.
I want to call him a prick again.
The pinwheel starts it’s torture again then his fingers slip between my legs & he rubs in small circles.
I’m so turned on from not cumming before that I am close & my breathing changes.
I am concentrating so hard on not cumming but it’s almost impossible.
I keep straining trying to get away from him.
He speeds up his torture, I am so close, I can’t hold it back anymore.
My breathing changes again, ready to cum.
He stops!
I scream into the gag.
He kisses the sweet spot on my neck that drives me crazy, then he starts again, the wheel, his hand.
I get to the point when I am about to cum & he stops, I scream again.
He does this so many times I lose count.
I am begging though the gag, begging him to make me cum.
The next time he stops, he takes the gag off.
I want to babble for him to make me cum, I want to call him a prick again, I want to tell him that I want to do what he wants me to do, but I remain silent.
“Do you have anything to say to me?”
“Yes Sir, I am so sorry, please let me cum. I didn’t mean it before”
“How badly do you want to cum?”
HIs fingers return to my clit, then slip inside me.
“So badly, Sir please make me cum for you”
His fingers speed up, he kisses the spot on my neck that makes me hot.
I cum so hard against his hand that I am lucky my arms are restrained because that is all that is holding me up right now.


Noodle #9

It doesn’t take long before I am seeing Noodle again, Tuesday is our usual day. I am home from work when he mentions that he should come over before work too being that his partner is already at work so he can leave his house & be at mine by 9:30 am, he pops over in the morning for an hour before he starts work, we fuck as usual, me never having enough of him & always being disappointed when he leaves. But a few hours later at 7:00 pm, he’s on his way back to my house which he stays longer than he usually does. WOW twice in one day! & a lot longer than usual, I guess with his store closing down, he has more of an excuse to do extra hours & being a manager, his pay wouldn’t change so it isn’t suspicious. I’m not complaining, I love fucking this guy! A lot… Way more than I should!

I ask him to video us again which he does, tying me up & spanking me, then making me give him a blow job in front of the mirror. Remember how much I said I hated being forced to do that? How things change! I get more turned on now when he forces me. I mean I still like to surprise him with it but I love when he gets all dominant with me. He videos the blow job & I actually look quite good, my eyelashes have just been done, my hair is washed & straight, I don’t look fat at this angle… So I hold onto his cock & lick it from the base to the tip then take it in my mouth, sucking down on it, while rubbing the length of it with my hand, making ‘hmmm’ noises as I enjoy it just as much as he does. The video is hot as fuck & the gif I make with my phone is even better. Jesus Christ it’s fucking hot!

He tells me that we haven’t been having much bed sex lately, which I say “We can’t just have bed sex if that’s what you do with your wife? Have to do things she won’t do, or wht is the point?” He agrees “Yeah no point really… It’s so fucking hot you want to do things my wife won’t do for me too… Fuck did I get lucky & pick the right chick to have an affair with…” Yeah I guess you did Noodle!

We’ve also sort of already fallen into this thing where we don’t really take it in turns as much anymore with the good morning message but it tends to be whoever is awake first will be the first to message. Noodle usually wakes up before me so he messages me first a lot which I really like. I tell him that I’m in debt to him owing him a few good mornings but he says “The things you let me do to you… your in no debt to me” Hmmm, very true

We also talk about me being single when he says to me I’m pretty sure if you put yourself actually on the market you could pull some single guys, your an amazing chick that deserves so much better than married guys fucking you. You just gotta deal with the competition part that comes with dating.” Yeah that’s the problem Noodle… If only he knew all these douches I had dated & what led me here to be fucking him!

By now, the store has closed down but they don’t have another store for Noodle to go to yet, so they have asked him to be the supervisor of all the workmen while the store gets pulled apart. He has to do this for a couple of weeks & then is going on 5 weeks annual leave, which makes me sad. We’ve been fucking every week for a month, I kind of like that statistic & I figure that once he’s on leave he won’t be able to see me because he doesn’t really go out ever & won’t have an excuse to be out, even when she’s at work. I guess it’ll be hard for him.

With the store being shut now, only just being dismantled, he’s only required really to be there to open & lock up the store, so he comes to my house on Sunday from 9:00 am until 12:00 pm, I am not really sure how he gets away with it, but I am not complaining at all, I mean this is what I want, someone who wants to be with me, no matter what it costs them. This is what I wanted every guy I’ve ever liked to do. It’s just fucking shit that it’s a man in a relationship that is the one to finally be the one who wants me… I do think about what it would be like if he were single, would the sex be as hot? Would he be a douche trying to fuck everyone & I wouldn’t mean anything to him, just another conquest that he’d ghost when I say something bitchy? Or would we have the life I envisage? FUCK! No… I can’t envisage a life with this guy… No way… There is no life with this guy, there is no future with this guy. But honestly at this point Max is barely seeing me, Noodle is paying me so much attention & I lap it up like a loser.

Noodle cheating sex mastubation.png

The following Tuesday, Noodle isn’t working Tuesday nights anymore due to the store being closed. He has to be there early to unlock the doors for the tradies & then he sits in the office or in his car watching Netflix – OMG I want this job! Hahaha. So at 6:30 am, I get up & am waiting for him when he gets to my house, in a little nightie thing & a big fluffy dressing gown (the only fucking thing I own! I don’t want to look like his partner – I imagine her in a big fluffy thing), being that it’s cold, the end of June & I make a mental note to look for a sexier dressing gown to wear on these occasions… This looks ridiculous! But I also want to surprise him with the reveal of the nightie underneath, not just be in it when he walks in the door… I have a plan for this morning… I have the door unlocked so he just walks in & I’m in the lounge room waiting for him, ready to undress him the second he walks in. I’ve decide to show my dominant side today… He’s surprised that I am out of bed & even says so, even mentions that I have the heater on.. Yeah because I have a plan, dude… We’re not fucking in my bedroom today… I have a vibe & some rope hidden so he can’t see.

I kiss him & undress him… He tells me later that he loves being undressed by me, it makes him feel special. Yeah I’d have to agree, I like it when a guy actually takes the time to take off your clothes & looks at you like he’s never seen anything so beautiful… Well I’ve only had that with one guy so far & I’m standing in front him taking off his clothes trying to make him feel the same. I push him backwards once he’s naked on to the low decorative chair & I reveal that I have rope close by. He chuckles & asks what I have in mind for him. I tie his ankles to each leg of the chair & then his wrists to the back legs of the chair. I suck his cock a little while I’m busy tying him down. Still is this fucking ridiculous dressing gown, I stand up & ask him if he wants me to take it off, he says yes (of course!) & I slowly undo the tie & slip it down my shoulders revealing my most sexy item of lingerie I have at the time & he lets out a breath as he sees me that I know I have pleased him & he likes what he sees. I kneel in front of him & suck his cock while he’s tied to the chair, I stop & he moans & asks what I’m doing. I stand up & walk backwards keeping eye contact with him, not explaining what I’m doing. I jump up so I’m sitting the edge of the pool table & I sit there starting at him, I spread my legs open, find the vibe that I put on the table & turn it on when he lets out a loud “Hmmm.” I turn it on & place it between my legs making him watch what I’m doing to myself while he’s tied up. He says to me “Fuck me, that is so hot.”

While I feel so self-conscious, I am able to keep going because watching him squirm in the chair & asking me to untie him, turns me on more & I am cumming within a few minutes. Once I’m done he begs me to fuck him, he’s struggled so much that he’s hands are out of the ties I tied. (I’m not very good with rope obviously!) I straddle his lap, slide on a condom & ride him, his hands are now free so they’re on my ass helping. I somehow cum so quickly like this when he tells me to get my phone. I do as I’m told & give it to him, he tells me to ride him again but not facing him. He takes a video of me fucking him reverse cowgirl style (I feel like my ass looks giant in this video… I hate it, but he tells me later how much he loves it!) We both cum this way & I can tell you that this was one of the hottest times we’ve fucked for me as I am in control & I am more confident that I ever have been with a man…


Tom Cruise

I decided that it wasn’t healthy to keep seeing married men – that’s the wisest thing I’ve said in a while! Hahaha!! Even if they are allowed to see me – its not healthy, so I trolled online for a date with a nice single man. OMG where are all the single men!? I chatted to a young Tom Cruise look-a-like for a short time before we we tried to set up a date but we never could work it out, he seems like too much hard work. Maybe that’s why I am into married men, because they can’t always see me so it’s not disappointing when they don’t.

One of my biggest pet hates is when I know a guy can see me, like I know they are free & they don’t see me! It comes back to that stupid fucking book ‘He’s just not that into you.’ It basically says that if the guy is not trying to fuck you then he isn’t into you, no matter what the scenario. I don’t recommend anyone ever read this book! It is completely fucked & I think it’s partly part of my problem, I don’t show effort to a guy because I just figure ‘oh well, he just wasn’t that into me.’ It’s almost like my defense play card!

Anyway one night I was sitting in bed, early one Friday night & we were chatting & randomly arranged to meet up that night. I suggested halfway between our houses at a bar but he said he wanted to get drunk so I should meet him at his local. Warning bells should’ve been going off, but this guy was quite cute & I need a break away from the unhealthy relationships I am having.

He is there when I arrive, sitting outside having a smoke when I walk up, it’s freezing so we go in pretty quickly & he offers to buy me a drink. I ask for a red wine. Within a few minutes of the date he’s asking me about my job & almost asking me for help in my field. Of course, as most people would’ve done because of the things he was saying, they’d go in to work mode to help him with his situation. So that’s what I did, I went into work mode & started giving advice as I would if he was a client – not really thinking, just knowing there’s a way to fix his problem. But then he said I was boring. Yep, those words came out of his mouth to my face…

He went out for a cigarette shortly after that & upon his return, he said he was going to play a game of Daytona & I should watch his stuff… I was like right… Too bad if I wanted a game with him, I didn’t even get a chance to ask if I could play too as he was already walking away. When he finished his game, he came back to tell me off for playing with my phone too much, I was lurking in the chat group getting more & more jealous that Noodle was online but hadn’t chatted to me privately… Tom Cruise then asked me if I’d ever taken drugs – hmmm, yes, he did ask that! WTF… This is the first date. Then he asked when was the last time I had sex – err really? Then he asked me more about my ‘boring’ job, which I was careful not to elaborate on for fear of being boring.

We talked for ages actually but the conversation was always difficult & always controversial topics that I didn’t get a good vibe from him. He kept leaving me alone to go smoke but he kept buying me red wines. I had driven so I was taking it easy on the wine, but he kept drinking & buying me drinks, I guess he did say that he wanted to get drunk! While he is outside one time, he messages me “Hello”. I’m like what is this guy doing?

When we get kicked out of the front bar, he offered up the other bar near the pokies, I was going to say no, I better go home, when he said that he liked my jacket. I replied that I liked his too & he said “It’s my kayaking jacket” OMG. I ask if he’s been checking out my online profile, where I say that I have just gotten into kayaking. He says no, so I get a tad excited & asking him about kayaking, where he goes, if he has one of his own? He looks at me like I’m a martian & says that he doesn’t kayak. WTF! Yes I just had a conversation with myself about kayaking because he doesn’t actually do it…Like what is this guys deal?!

He goes out for yet another cigarette coming back to say he’s going to play the pokies… Why am I still here? Why haven’t I walked out yet? He stands at the bar, looking drunk & looking back at me as he orders some more drinks. I still am sipping my third red wine when he comes back to the table with a white wine, even though I’ve been drinking red all night & have an almost full red wine in front of me. He downs another beer. WHAT THE ACTUAL FACTUAL FUCK. Why would he buy me white wine now? This guy has a fucking screw loose… I can’t look away, I can’t leave this date because seriously this isn’t happening!

Tom Cruise Dating Douche Pig

After the second time he goes to play the pokies & have a cigarette, I think I should just get up & leave so when he comes back he is baffled what happened to me. I check online & see that Noodle has still been online chatting profusely in the groups but hasn’t messaged me to say that he’s back online like he usually does – my heart sinks. So I decide to stay & ‘give this guy a go’ (Like surely I have a screw loose if I am still here at this point!) but when comes back Tom Cruise says “This isn’t going to happen” I blink at him before I realise what he means, I jump up out of my chair, pick up my bag & walk out without a word. Not even saying goodbye. Not looking back. Seriously. WTF!


Noodle #8

I don’t honestly see what Noodle sees in me, I actually can’t work out what any guys sees in me to be honest, (I know, I know I have confidence issues, I promise I am working on them!) I tell him that I am pretty bitchy really & get really angry easily – especially when I don’t get sex, so not sure why he is bothering with me… He says “You actually don’t come across that bitchy. Come across flirty, fun, easy going, and dirty. Come across quite attractive plus you always pick a super cute photo of yourself” WOW that’s not what I expected from him… This guy seriously is a mega douche, he’s been involved in a stupid rift between a few groups of people on the chat app & I’m not even sure why or what it’s about, I somehow think it’s jealously on his part because he thinks that everyone wants to fuck me on the app & he’s scared I’ll leave him for someone else… Whenever someone shows interest in me he acts like a cunt to them or makes it known that he thinks I’m hot, so that I’ll flirt with him in the group, with heart eye emojis so people know that I’m interested in him & he’s into me – all without telling them.

In private Noodle is so sweet to me. He’s told me that he’s a douche to his partner all the time & that’s one of the reasons he won’t leave her, so I don’t know why he treats me differently. I mean he is douchy to me too, I’m not saying that he’s perfect, he’s far from it, but he’s always giving me confidence & making me feel good about myself… Is this who he is? Or is it me that brings out a softer side?

The next day, Sunday, Noodle, is at work & comes over for his lunch break… I know he’s coming & he tells me that he doesn’t have much time, which of course I know being that he is only on his lunch break, so I decide to answer the door in just my panties. I can’t do it naked because I am conscious of my belly, I have an small overhang from losing weight so I am so self-conscious of it, so when he walks in the door I am just in black lace panties. I am shaking like a leaf, I have never done this before, I am so scared & so excited at the same time. I mean he doesn’t know what he’ll be walking into with me, I haven’t told him I’ll be almost naked so I see his eyes pop out of his head a little as his says ‘fuck’ walking straight to be throwing his stuff on my couch & kissing me… I am unbuttoning his shirt before our lips even meet. This man! What is it about this man? I cannot get enough of him… We’ve been seeing each other more than once a week & chatting every day & I can’t get enough of him, I always want to chat to him, I always want him touching me… We’re naked & fucking, me cumming again within seconds of him being inside me. I don’t know how he gets me to cum without touching my clit, but fucking hell, I am always on the edge with him! I am then on my knees in my bedroom in front of my mirror quicker than I care to admit, sucking his cock while he videos it again… I can’t wait to see the video!

Noodle dickmatised sex dating.png

When Noodle tells me later when I am probing him for some reassurance of how I look & how I perform with him, he tells me “I’d like to think I make you feel pretty sexy… I have noticed your confidence increase so yeah. You have no idea how much you blow my fucking mind & how hot I find you… & blow my cock” I tell him “You do make me feel sexy… I could never open the door naked or suck someone’s cock like I did if I didn’t feel that way, I actually didn’t mind looking in the mirror as I was sucking your cock.” It makes me feel much better knowing that he is able to reassure me a little. I tell him “It’s ridiculous how much I want to please you & have you fuck me” Jesus where did that come from? He says “Wow did you just admit that to me?” I of course say no, thinking fuck, did I? But laughing to myself, why did I just admit that too him? He says “Well if it helps I fucking really enjoy fucking you & pleasing you” We are in deep fucking trouble… It’s not even been a month of fucking! However its been 3 months of chatting!

The Monday before I see Noodle, I have to work late & when I say I may be at work all night & late tomorrow he seems to get a bit disappointed that he might not see me Tuesday night. But then he acts like a douche & says he doesn’t care, so I say “Oh well you won’t be disappointed when I tell you, I’ve got a laser appointment tomorrow night & actually can’t have sex after it… Wasn’t sure how to tell you, but now you don’t care so doesn’t matter.” He asks if I’m being serious, I say yeah we can just watch Shameless. he says “Your fucking with me right?” (I quote him with the grammar as he wrote it to me!) so I say that we can just snuggle on the couch & watch TV with popcorn he realises that I am joking with him “Yeah your shitting me now, hahaha fuck you.” I tell him to admit that he was sad, & eventually he says he was a little sad – especially after I send him a picture of me lying in bed naked, then he asks “Seriously, I can fuck you right?” Hahaha… Yes Noodle, you can fuck me after laser!

The following Tuesday night Noodle comes over straight after work, we fuck quickly as always, like we can’t do anything else. We tease each other a lot & really connect while having sex, I know I keep saying this but I haven’t ever connected like this with a man before, even with Boyfriend. This is the most intimate & sensual sex I’ve ever had, even though it’s sometimes very kinky. I look at him & he looks at me, I feel him with more than his actual touch, I feel his breath, I feel his beard, without sounding like a wanker but I feel his soul… (Urgh, what! Hahaha)

He touches me like he wants me & like he actually thinks I am the sexiest thing he has ever fucked, I know he is the sexiest man I have ever fucked before (not that he will believe that), I want him to feel sexy too, which he is cocky about but sometimes he does lack confidence about his looks , I want him to know that he is sexy to me. That I cannot get enough of him, that I don’t think the bad things that he thinks about himself – he thinks he has a small cock – he doesn’t at all… He’s the only man that’s ever been able to make me cum with just his cock & make me squirt like a porn star without even touching my clit, that I don’t even know why he thinks that. He also thinks that he has a big gut, but he really doesn’t, he’s worked so hard to get where he is, loosing weight, that I find him incredibly sexy.

We are lying there sated, when his phone starts ringing, he says “Fuck” staring at it for ages, his finger hovering over the answer or reject button. I see that it’s his partner. So I turn away trying to give him privacy. He says hello as is if’s perfectly normal to be naked in my bed & answering the phone to his partner – I’m taken back to the time Max answered the phone while fucking me, to his wife. But this is different, she doesn’t know where he is or what he is doing… I hear her sobbing & he looks at me panic stricken, sitting up, I hear him asking what’s wrong, but he sits up & I try not to listen. He says “Alright, I’ll leave work now, bye.” & I think what the fuck has happened? He tells me that one of their cats have been run over & is dead so he has to go home & clean up the mess for her. I say that I am sorry but he seems preoccupied now, however he still kisses me goodbye several times, saying sorry that he has to leave. We chat later that evening about how scared he was that when he answered & she was crying that she had found out about me. I mean that went though my mind but surely she wouldn’t be crying straight away once she found out about me? Surely she’d confront him before crying about it? Who knows, I’ve never been a cheater to be honest, nor do I know her, but he tells me she’s a bit of a crier. I think this is going to calm things down a bit with him & I, being that we’re seeing each other at least twice a week, I think it’s going to scare him, but it doesn’t.

The following Sunday, I am on my way home from brunch, chatting to Noodle when he says to come visit him at his store, he’s in the office & wants to fuck me there. I am scared for this but I am also turned on to fuck him at his work, while the store is open, I text him when I get to the store, parking next to his car & waiting for him to pop his head out the back door. It’s so naughty, he sneaks me in, I’m worried about cameras so I try to act normal, like I’m supposed to be there, we walk though the corridors to his office. He tries to lock the door but it doesn’t lock so he quickly kicks a crate against the door then is kissing me as I take off my jacket. This is going to be quick, but I know I am wet enough for him, just from the thought of him fucking me in his office on the drive here. We unbutton each other’s pants so quickly & I’m rolling a condom on for him & I back onto the desk, sitting facing him, kissing him as I grab his cock to help slide into me at this angle… My jeans & boots still on around my ankles… This is the first time we’ve fucked outside of my house & with clothes on.

What a surprise I cum really quickly, he takes a little longer of course, though I’m sure he could cum quickly if he wanted too, I’m lucky that I can cum multiple times. So he pulls me up to stand & turns me around to bend me over the desk, this is hot… Next minute he’s in my ass, with the same speed he was in my vagina, he’s fucking my ass & I love it. He’s pulling my hair as leverage to fuck me harder… This is ridiculously dirty but so fucking hot, I am cumming again, biting my lip so as not to make noise as he cums too. We’re both sweaty & breathing heavy as we pull our pants up when he says “Fuck I think I made you bleed” I look over as he’s taking off the condom & say “No, you were in my ass” He smiles, doing up his pants, then grabs me & kisses me harder than he has. Like he just realised how hot that was. Later we talk about it & he says that he’s never accidentally fucked someone’s ass before & not known about it. I explain that I get so wet so don’t need lube, he says he knows & he says that he loves how wet I get, he thinks it so hot but wants to know in future if he’s fucking my ass…. Wouldn’t it feel different? Perhaps not!