Pond

I met this guy online, I forget which site because it was many years ago, many years before I ever even fell in love. I remember that I was in home renovation mode (I have these phases quite often & am currently in another phase of renovations) But at this time I was spending my time painting my pond with special pond paint sealer stuff as the algae had taken it over & I was giving it a thorough clean. I had already cleaned it with my dad & then set about painting the pond.

I hate that when I owned this house with Boyfriend, I wanted to turn the pond back into a pond, the previous owners had filled it with dirt & put a fern in it, I always wanted to turn it back into a pond however Boyfriend always said it would be too much work to keep a pond. Well of course when we broke up, a few years later, I had some help & we dug out the fern, dug out the dirt & turned it back into a pond – which I do love. However Boyfriend was right, it is a fucking lot of work. Even though I have a filter on a timer in the pond to air-rate the water, the sun hits it in the morning causing algae to grow at rates I can’t keep up with, even with stuff for algae for ponds. He was right & I hate that, so I just try to power through the first time I am cleaning & painting the pond. I have done it again since too, it’s just a mammoth task & actually needs doing again really!

So while doing this task, I am online chatting because, let’s be honest here, I’m a loser & needed some company. Remember this is probably about 5 or 6 years ago, maybe even longer to be honest. So I chat & send pictures to people as I sit in the empty pond trying to get the coats of paint on before the sun sets.

So I am chatting to the guy we’ll call Pond & he is so keen to meet me – like too keen, like danger too keen type & keeps offering me help with the pond that I actually start to seriously consider it. I don’t really know what I am doing here sitting in a pond & I don’t really want to do it alone, so I ask what he would do if he was here. What a dumb fucking thing to say #IBD4U… Please roll your eyes at me, because I am!

When Pond replies that he wants to meet me naked (WTF?) I pretty much asked for that, didn’t I? But that’s not a surprise, he really starts pushing meeting naked. I flirt a little bit with this idea as a joke, until I realise that he is fucking serious! He wants to meet naked. He doesn’t let up on this idea. He says that he’ll come to my front door naked, I’ll open it naked for him & we’ll just have a date… Okay rightio… First I don’t have a house that you could walk to the door naked, not only do I have neighbours who look out their front window at every car that drives by, but my front door is exposed, not trees, no bushes, sensor lights, absolutely no way to be discreet at my house.

Later when I realise that this guy is really not joking about meeting naked to come help me paint my pond, I stop flirting & say that I am not interested in this idea. He then says that I don’t have to be naked, that he’ll just arrive at my door naked. So what he’ll be naked & I’ll be in clothes the whole date? WHAT THE FUCK…

Now let’s just also remember the time of my life that this story takes place, this is before Milky – who was a significant part of my sexual awakening, I am not a prude, by any means, however I wasn’t as open sexually back at this time. I had also never met anyone naked until Noodle, who comes along many years later & if you remember me telling that story, I already started having significant feelings for him, felt so safe & comfortable with him, yet I was shaking like a leaf that I almost feel out of my heels.

So this is a guy I don’t know at all, I hadn’t ever done anything like that before nor had I ever really thought about doing something like that with someone ever, let alone with a stranger. He keeps pushing it that we meet & he’ll be naked. I keep saying no & eventually snap telling him that I am sick of fuckboys & that I don’t have the energy for this kind of pressure bullshit from someone I don’t know. I mean would you meet someone for the first time naked for a date?!

He asks me if I am ok & I am not, if I remember correctly I had some family issues going on at this time too that which is why I snap at him that I am not going to meet him naked. He says “Do u want some company to talk to. No funny business”  & to be honest, while the offer is nice & sweet, I’m sure it’s not genuine. Nothing with anyone online is every genuine! I say no thanks & he says “Can’t win even when try the compassionate approach”  I honestly can’t believe how easily men turn when they don’t get their way. I just say that I don’t have the energy to dignify that with an answer. I believe I am allowed to not want to meet someone I don’t want too, not only has he been pushy so much so that I have stopped replying & also suggesting the most ridiculous way to meet someone. Or was I a prude here? Should I have done something different & met him naked?! What would you have done?

Over the course of the next 6 months, I get a regular “Hey” or “Hey u” message almost one every few weeks, which I ignore. I mean this guy was quite pushy (I wish I saved more of his messages but back then I wasn’t even writing the blog yet so I only have a few messages he sent me saved.) I ignore all his messages, but when I am back online dating about 6 months later in the next year, he sees my profile & starts messaging me on the chat app again.

I accidentally click on his messages so he sees that I’ve read them. Damn it! Which spurs him on:

You not talking hun?

Can we chat hun?

Please??? Don’t ignore me

 So how can I convince you? Fixed pond?

You gonna reply? Tried chatting to you on the dating app

Hey at least say hi

We did get along well …Errr? Did we?

Hey can u reply plz

Let’s go on a date

Can we

Don’t be ignorant

Hey I’m down your way… Coffee??

Hey wanna come over for a drink tonight. I’ll cook

No?

LOL why u not answering.

Well… Fuck me, all those messages were over the course of just one month, so not completely nuts like it seems seeing them all like that, because it wasn’t all in one day but it was pretty regular for a month or so, but the thing that I love about this is that I don’t reply to him ever & then I get “Don’t be ignorant.” How dare he. Why do people do that, harass someone then get grumpy when they don’t reply? I never asked for this & I’m apparently the one with the problem? Fuck I hate dating… I’m so surprised after this dude that I ever dated again or fell in love… Hahaha.

#IBD4U