Noodle #6

Noodle has now worked out how to fake his location on his iPhone (which is pretty hard to do, he had to load some program or jail break the phone, I don’t really know what he did but somehow, he did it, so he could see me more easily, pretend he’s still at the store but actually be at my place with his phone in case she calls – I really don’t want her to know where I live either since she’ll apparently bash me!) and he showed me how his phone had recorded his location for the few times that he’s already been to my house. I think I freaked out more than him, asking him to delete it immediately. His partner does not sound stable (though I know I only get his perspective of her, don’t worry, I’m not completely delusional about my part in this) & he’s also cheating on her, so I don’t know what a scorned woman would do. I don’t trust her so I want to be careful, he assures me that he will protect my identify at all costs, should she ever find about me. I believe that he will – I trust him with my address & real name… I know when this goes south & believe me, I am also not delusional that it won’t, it will, he will make sure I am not in the cross fire. I appreciate that at least. I even ask him to promise that he won’t ghost me, that he’ll find a way to tell me that it’s over. He says that he’ll try, but it may not be possible.

Noodle adventure sex dating

So the next day, Sunday afternoon, he says that he’ll come over in his lunch break again, I am surprised at how much this guy has been able to see me so far, that we are able to see each other a few days in a row! I am also surprised as how much he wants to see me… Not many guys have ever wanted to see me this much! Or wanted to talk to me this much…. I think that is our downfall, but we are powerless to stop it.

I leave the door open for him & am in my bedroom when I hear him come in, I meet him in the hallway, we collide the second we meet, kissing with such passion & stripping so quickly. I have never had this kind of passion with someone before, it’s fucking nuts – I can barely control myself around him. I know you probably think I am like that with every guy, but I’m not. I get turned on, yes, but not ever like this before. I can’t be around this man without his hands on me, mouth on me or cock in me… It’s almost like I can’t get him close enough to me, or inside me quick enough. We’re in my bedroom and fucking quicker than I care to admit. I cum several times before he jumps up while I am on my stomach & I hear him ruffling through my draws, he grabs my hands roughly behind my back & ties them together (He doesn’t get this dominant very often that I get so wet from just this small act), he turns me over roughly & starts kissing me all over. With this angle the tie is digging into my arm, it’s starting to hurt a little so I try to turn over to expose my wrists & I ask him to loosen it but he smacks my ass & says no. FUCK, I literally get even wetter. I’m not even sure how that works… He fucks me again & finally once he’s done, he unties my hands & I realise that one of thumbs is a little numb. it actually stays numb for a few days that I actually fear he’s done some permanent damage, but it gets better & am kinda sad that I don’t have that little reminder of how naughty we were that Sunday afternoon!

We cuddle lying on the bed, again somehow I don’t like cuddling but my whole body is cuddling him, drawing him in as close as i can get to him. His hands are never stationary on my body, they run up & down my skin feeling every lump & bump. We lay there chatting , he looks at his watch then at me & runs his hands even more suggestively over me so they are between my legs slowly turning me back on. He makes me cum this way before rolling on top of me, sliding into me, we’re face to face, I can’t look away, our eyes lock & to be honest, this is probably the first time that I have fucked a guy where I haven’t looked away. Usually I close my eyes when they look at me as it’s too intimate or something. But this time, this guy, I look at him, he’s looking at me, he’s deep inside me & I’m seriously tingling all over, when he kisses my neck, OMG that feels fucking amazing as he slowly slides in & out of me, he keeps moving his mouth, down my body till he is sucking a nipple, I moan the loudest I have ever moaned, without even realising it or being able to control it, usually I am pretty quiet during sex, contrary to what you may think because of this blog.

He moves from nipple to nipple, sucking while he slowly fucks me, I can hear him chuckle as I moan even louder & louder, squirming under him, trying to get away, he takes my hands & pins them above my head, I beg him to stop sucking my nipples, even though I don’t want him to stop. Why do we do that? Tell someone to stop when we really don’t want them too so we require a safe word? Why don’t we just mean stop when we say stop… But I don’t mean it & he doesn’t stop!

He keeps doing it over & over, letting my hands go so it doesn’t take long till I am cumming loudly grabbing onto him, digging my nails in his back. As I cum for what seems like the tenth time, quivering & shaking like I never have before, my legs shake uncontrollably, he cums for the second time in 2 hours & as we lay there afterwards trying to regain our breath, he says that he never cums twice ever – Well you just did Noodle! Hahaha. Geez, that was also a long lunch break!

Later when Noodle & I are chatting, he tells me that if it wasn’t me, he would’ve chosen someone else to cheat with & my heart sinks a little… I actually thought I mean’t something to him… I know he’s a liar & a smooth talker, I mean how else did we get here, but I din’t think he’d be so brutally honest with me. I can’t hide my disappointment & I’m surprised that he spends so much time reassuring me that I’m not the most convenient person he could’ve chosen to cheat with, he tells me that he actually likes me & then puts my mind at ease, “You’re very easy to talk to, can be funny (hate admitting that), sexy as fuck, dirty minded and I actually really like your honesty” WOW… I don’t even know what to respond to that. He also says “I’m pretty sure your everyone’s crush on here, but it’s all good… cos I had a crush on you and I got to fuck you, so I can’t complain.” Well at least I know I he’s feeling a little the same as I am. Why am I feeling this way?!

#IBD4U

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Max #9

Again I don’t talk much to Max, but do you know what, who cares at this point. He doesn’t seem to care much about me, so why should I put any effort in? Especially since he’s married, there is no future for me here, but I figure if he wants to to keep going, then he should be worshipping me! How many woman are there out there would actually ‘date’ a married man in an open relationship? I doubt there are that many!

I’ll see Max when he is free, if I’m free (which is fucking annoying that I always am) but I’m not going out of my way to talk to him & try to see him. Things have ended with Origin, sadly & now I am basically only seeing Max every few weeks whenever he is not infamously busy but of course there’s still Noodle.

As if this story couldn’t get any weirder, during this time, Sweetie is actually seeing Milky. Yes my Milky. I set it up so I am not upset about it. But fuck me if this isn’t the weirdest thing ever, I don’t know what is… How did I get in this situation? Well Sweetie wasn’t seeing anyone, I was enjoying her husband more than Milky, so after Milky said he wanted to fuck her as the condition to have the MFM with me & Max, I passed on their chat app details & they started chatting. They caught up a few times but he decided to not use a condom with her one night & as she wasn’t on contraception as Max has had a vasectomy, she had to go get the morning after pill… I mean why do men do this? Fucking seriously… Milky tells Sweetie that he thought she’d be on contraception but that’s beside the point. Not only should they be scare of an unwanted pregnancy with a married woman, but what about STI’s? Does no dude care about that anymore? I’m obsessed with condoms & am constantly carrying them around in case they don’t have a latex free one, but guys seem to be so happy to just whip it off & risk the STI’s. I don’t get it.

Anyway Max invites me out on a date & I am so ridiculously starved for an actual date that I jump at the chance, he invites himself over & says that we’ll go for dinner then to the movies. We go to Fasta Pasta for dinner – so classy hahaha. I can tell he’s uncomfortable, awkward & not at all enjoying this like a date should be. I mean we’ve been seeing each other for 5 months. The conversation seems forced & I find it hard to keep engaging with him, I am almost dying to get to the movies because at least then neither of us have to force conversation. We see Baywatch with Zac Effron (yes that’s how far behind I am in these stories!) he starts rubbing my leg in the virtually empty cinema & I am spreading my legs a lot quicker than I should be. This guy should seriously be earning this – especially since we barely see each other anymore. But my stupid vagina craves this, I am wanting him to touch me & It feels so naughty that it’s in a public cinema. He slips his hand into my jeans & I bite my lip, he’s going to finger me during this movie & I know that if I resist it’ll just spur him on more, plus I want this… I’ve never had a guy do something like this to me before. I shift in my seat to give him easy access & within a few seconds because I’m so turned on that I’m doing this in public, I know I have to be quiet but let him know that I am enjoying it so I grab his wrist & guide his hand to a better position, but I don’t let go as he gets me closer to cumming, I squeeze his wrist with my hand. I throw my head back in the seat as I cum, biting my lip so as not to make any noise. It’s actually pretty sexy… After the movie, we go home to my house for some quick sex & then Max goes home.

A few days later Max, Sweetie & I go to Switch together, they are staying at my house as usual, they come over & we head into the city. It’s an uneventful night, at least Max isn’t kissing random women while he’s there with his wife & me. Max actually makes an effort to seem like he wants to be there with me & Sweetie, which is good. On the way to Switch in the taxi, Max slips his hand between my legs & I feel a buzzing, it’s mini vibe he has… I squirm under his touch but it doesn’t really do much. We have the usual 3sum when we get home & this time we tie up Sweetie. Max lets me use the candles on her but when a drip of wax causes her to ask us to stop, I lose confidence to do anything. Later I find out that it actually caused a burn on her belly.

2 weeks later, the night after the last time I saw Origin, I spend the day with Noodle, tired as fuck from the weed muffin. I don’t want to leave him but I said that I would go to Sweetie’s birthday party, I am tired & really can’t be bothered getting out of bed after the day I spent with Noodle, does edible weed do that to you? I have no idea but I am not in the mood to go out. I need sleep & tons of it. I message Max to say I’m at the hotel that they’re staying at, at the time they ask me to be there… He meets me out the front & takes me up stairs. The last thing I want to do is have a 3sum with them right now. But I get there & Sweetie is still getting ready. I am kinda pissed that I have gotten ready to make it here by 6:00 pm & am now going to sit in the hotel room for fuck knows how long while they get ready still. This really doesn’t help my mood!

After what seems like eternity for me – it probably isn’t but I’m feeling like shit, but I couldn’t bail being I found out I’m the only one the invited to this party. They get ready to go out & we head out for dinner. I am in a mood, I can’t snap out of, this is not what idea I had in my head when I was invited to a birthday party. We end up going to the WoolShed – those who live in Adelaide know it’s this bar/nightclub in the city that had a mechanical bull to ride… Yes classy! Hahaha. I can’t snap out of this mood, even when Max rides the bull, I just can’t enjoy it. I left my car at their hotel, or I would’ve left early, but I also feel bad because I am the only one there…

Max relationships sex too busy.png

We go back to the hotel room & again, I am not sure why I went up, I am really not in the mood, I have probably really ruined the night for them. I should go home! While Sweetie is having bath, Max starts making a move on me, he gets me naked & ties me to the bed with rope. He gets his toy bag & starts using things on me, I see Sweetie come into the room wearing the bathrobe. Max kisses her & leaves a vibe on me while he attends to her. I’m tied up & usually this would be something I enjoy, but my headspace is not good for this. I hate it. I hate that I am tied up, being teased while they fuck next to me. I wriggle my way out of the restraints & stand up, getting my clothes on. This was not a good idea. I told Noodle I wasn’t going to do this & I shouldn’t have… I really wasn’t in the right place for this. I leave them to it, saying good bye & driving home. I hop into bed & fall asleep immediately.

I wake to my phone ringing about 10:00 am, I look & it’s Max. I almost don’t answer… I am still so tired, I notice other messages too on my phone. I answer & he asks if I’m ok, he was worried as I hadn’t replied to any messages he sent & I didn’t send a message when I got home last night. I explain I was tired & I’m ok. We hang up. I roll over with my phone, quickly replying to Noodle to his messages this morning & closing my eyes to go back to sleep. I am still wrecked from the weed muffin… How do people smoke weed all the time!?

I barely ever speak to Max again… I am so done with trying to even chat to him & so done with the “I’m busy” bullshit that I no longer even make an effort & neither does he… So we basically ghost each other, in a way… The story, of course, is not done – this is me afterall, but it’s over for now!

#IBD4U

Origin # 14

As Origin leaves that night, he says laughing “Let me know about our baby” then tickles my tummy & goes. I laugh, but I think about it & realise, holy fucking batshit! FUCK. He jokes but we could’ve just made a fucking baby! I don’t want kids… SHIT! I walk around the house aimlessly at almost 2:00 am, thinking WTF am I going to do… I get a text from him saying “Thanks for tonight superstar, had a great night, love Origin xxx” I don’t reply. I don’t know what to say to that… This guy could’ve just impregnated me & made a joke then left! Why doesn’t this guy ever stay the night?

I take the morning after pill & decide to let him know that I did, oddly I do this via snapchat like a teenager. I send him a snapchat picture of the box & tell him what I’ve done. He offers me money for it, but it’s not about that. It’s only like $20, it’s not about the money. This is the second time in 35 years that I have had to take the morning after pill. I’ve always been on contraception & always basically a condom advert, but I had to take it last time I was seeing him. Fucking hell. Last time it made me a little crazy so I am careful of how I react. I am seeing Max & Noodle at the moment too, so I am going to have to be conscious of how I am with them too. I know I am being weird with Max, but he’s being weird with me too…

I don’t see Origin for over a month, things are still weird with Max, things are going too well with Noodle that I need this – I need a single guy to come along & show me what I could have, what I deserve, not this half ass relationship from married men… Origin is the only single guy I am seeing… I mean I am still chatting a little to Rob Rob, which is just fucked. When Origin & I were supposed to catch up but he forgot to message me because his dad was in hospital – understandable, but the whole bailing thing is getting old. I forgive him for that & hope his dad is ok, I sort of wish we were at the point when I could offer to go to his side… I really like this guy…

It’s the end of June when we catch up again, he’s been talking to me about bringing a weed muffin for us to try, I’ve never had a weed muffin, I’ve also actually never smoked weed before, I have taken drugs before as a late teen early 20 year old, quite a lot when I was partying as a youngan, but I grew out of it & now with my job requiring a drivers license, it’s really important I am responsible. I even don’t even drink more than 2 drinks when out & driving. So it’s been many many years since I did anything.

He calls me in the morning to make sure I am free, this is sort of unusual for him, I assumed he was calling to bail – I almost didn’t answer to be honest… He comes over & we order Indian food again, it’s our ritual, I love it & don’t get it often so I love that it’s our thing. We eat, put on a shit movie that he wanted to watch but it is so fucking shit that we get distracted… hahaha. He offers me a quarter of the muffin but after about 30 minutes nothing is happening that we both decide to have the other quarter each. We hate the movie so we decide to play pool when I realise I am laughing like a lunatic at everything he says… WTF is so funny? Why is my smile so wide? I have to hide my face in my arms all the time to make sure he can’t see it. I am literally laughing at every little thing like it is the funniest thing ever! He is also laughing, it’s like a weird movie… Us just laughing at everything, not to mention playing pool terribly! If this is what a edible is like, it’s not that great… We play a few games of pool before I sit on the couch saying that I am fucking tired. He agrees & sits next to me, we don’t touch but just sit there. We talk for a bit but I start nodding off…

It’s not that late when Origin leaves, like around 10:00 pm, spouting some shit about needing to go, I don’t mind because I know Noodle is spending the day with me tomorrow & I have Sweetie’s birthday drinks to go to, plus I have just become so fucking tired for some reason – like can’t-keep-my-eyes-open tired. As soon as Origin leaves I jump into bed naked, not able to keep my eyes open long enough to plug my phone in…

Later the next day between things, I message him saying that I’m sorry for falling asleep on him but he says it’s ok & that he’s so scattered. I am scared I was an idiot being that one of the last times we saw each other I was a complete tool, biting him… (I still cringe at that even 2 years later!)

We chat a little but over text & snapchat but never meet up again, I then one day I send out a snapchat to all my friends including Origin, but he never opens it. WTF?! Even though he’s the only single guy I am seeing, I seem to be putting all my eggs in the Noodle basket… So I don’t seem to care that Origin never looks at my snapchat.

Ironically, a few days after that, Origin comes up as a friend suggestion on Facebook again, this time his profile picture is of him & a beautiful girl, cuddling up – cosy, like a couple… I know he doesn’t have a sister, I know he wouldn’t be in a profile picture with his sister in law, so all I can assume is that he has found a girlfriend.

Origin Sex Weed Relationship Dating.png

While this upsets me a little, I mean only a couple of weeks ago he was at my house having sex with me that may have ended with a pregnancy & then a few weeks later with a weed muffin & now he’s already in a relationship with someone so much so that they are at the point of changing his profile picture… WTF? Am I seriously the fluffer for men to find the one they want? I don’t know if I told you but Milky also has a girlfriend now too…

I mean as Origin is a single guy (or was a single guy) that I actually liked, I am keen to see where this would go however with Noodle in the picture, I am keen to pursue that chemistry…

#IBD4U

Erotica: Scene Nine – Quick Fuck

Not many more to go now, only 3 weeks left!

I hope that you’re enjoying these!

Here’s a link to the other scenes… Scene one – Nipple Bells, Scene two – Wake Up Call , Scene Three – His Orgasm & Scene Four – The Wake Up Call , Scene Five – Blindfold, Scene Six – Shower, Scene Seven – Anticipation & Scene Eight – Watching.

Scene Nine – Quick Fuck

As I lie there covered in his cum, panting from such an intense orgasm with a vibe, he stands over me, I turn my head to look at him.
“Fuck, you are so hot”
I giggle.
He grabs my legs by my hips & pulls me down the bed towards him.
As he slowly takes the vibe out of me, I lift my hips to give him a better angle.
He throws it on the bed & he lays on my body keeping my legs up with his hips.
He takes my hands in his & pulls them up above my head, holding eye contact with me again he leans down to kiss me.
His kiss engulfs me, he kisses me deeply till I can barely breathe.
My heart rate still rapid from fucking that vibe for him.
He links fingers with me & trails kisses down my neck.
I finally get a breath.Kink Quick fuck sex dating.pngHe kisses down my shoulders across my collar bone & up the other side of my neck, back to meet my mouth again.
I squirm underneath him to try to get him to let me go, so I can run my hands on his back, though his hair, dig my nails into his back so he knows I’m enjoying it.
But he just holds me firmly down, kissing me, then again moving down one side of my neck across & back up the other side.
I feel his cock between my legs start to twitch & I try to move my hands so I can stroke it & give him some pleasure too.
But he won’t let me move.
As I feel his cock harden between us, lifts his hips, leans down to kiss me as he slides his cock over me, finding my entrance.
He doesn’t slide it but just teases me, putting the tip in ever so slightly, while I try to lift my hips to take him deeper.
He teases me while deeply kissing me, I try to pull away from his kiss to beg him to bury himself deep inside me but he catches my mouth as I move my head.
As I feel myself getting lost in is torture, he slams his hard cock deep inside me, I try to cry out but my mouth is full.
My eyes pop open with surprise but am quickly taken back to the moment.
His pounds me hard, his cock dipping in so deep, then he pulls it all the way out.
So fast.
His rhythm is relentless.
His mouth never leaves mine.
I am moaning against his mouth.
He fucks me so hard, I can feel his balls slapping against my ass.
Once again I try to move to meet his thrusts, to touch his hair, even to scream out in ecstasy but I can’t.
In & out, in & out.
I can’t take it anymore, I start moaning in his mouth, letting him know I am cumming.
My toes curls, my hands squeeze his as he squeezes mine back & I cum with him filling me every where.
It goes on, deeper & deeper, I’m now feeling him do the same noise against my mouth as he cums deep inside me.
Not once does he stop kissing me, until he is completely spent.
He trails a kiss down my neck & lets me hands go, only now I can’t move them.
He stays on top of me, deep inside me, before catching my mouth again for one more kiss.

#IBD4U

Guest Blog: 10 Important Lessons I Learned When I Found My Local Kink Scene

There are many things you should discuss with your partner before embarking on a kink lifestyle. I know that now, but I entered it quite blindly with people who didn’t really know what they were doing. While it worked out alright for me, it could’ve been a very different story.

I want to use this blog to also open the dialogue, why should it be a secret. Like I said in my guest post why I do what I do, I don’t understand why kink & sex is such a taboo subject. I’d rather people know I am into kink & doing it safely, rather than no one knowing about it at all!

Here’s some more tips for you!

10 Important Lessons I Learned When I Found My Local Kink Scene

It seems like more people than ever are experimenting with kink. Many do so from the privacy of their homes and learn from books and websites like this one. I found it even more helpful to explore my local kink scene at the same time. Finding the kink scene was one of the most transformative experiences of my life. Here are the 10 important lessons I learned.Local kink scene, dating sex.png1. How to Set Boundaries

In the kink scene, it’s standard for people to negotiate what they are and aren’t OK with before playing together. Essentially, the submissive explicitly sets boundaries with the dominant. These boundaries are normally known as hard and soft limits. Hard limits are things that you don’t want done to you under any circumstances. Soft limits are typically things that maybe you are kind of hesitant to take on. Or you’re only willing to do them with certain people or at certain times.

There are BDSM checklists that you can print off to help you have those discussions. No matter what a submissive’s limits are, it’s a standard practice to clearly establish them before playing. This is especially important because the dominant and submissive are operating outside of societal norms of what’s right and wrong.

As a recovering people pleaser, I found the process of setting limits within my BDSM practice translated into learning to set them in my personal life. I started to push back on friends or relatives who ignored boundaries I set. I also became better at clearly stating those boundaries in the first place.

2. Something Can Be Scary and Not Kill You

It is completely natural to avoid what we fear. Fear is an extremely intense emotion. Often, fear limits us in ways that actually impede our survival. Fear might keep us from switching jobs when our current employer isn’t treating us well – or prevent us from even looking at other opportunities. Fear might make us stay in a relationship that’s unhealthy because we’re afraid of being alone.

I was scared to death when I joined the kink community. I’ve also had scenes that scared the pants off me (sometimes, quite literally). I survived. Challenging those fears ended up being incredibly fulfilling for me. It was a rush to conquer my fears and make it to the other side. I also gained the knowledge that I am capable of handling much more than I thought I could.

Whether it’s a new sexual act that you’re nervous about trying or a big life change, the unknown can be terrifying. It’s also where some of the best things in life are. Facing fears is the only way you grow.

3. You Can Tolerate Pain & Survive

One of the biggest lessons I learned was that just because someone is hurting (even me), it doesn’t mean that anyone did anything wrong. I also learned that just because something hurts right now, doesn’t mean that it will hurt forever.

In fact, a lot of positive changes require that you tolerate pain or discomfort on the way to achieving your goals. People typically understand this when it comes to changes like dieting or going to the gym, but they usually have a hard time translating it to emotional growth.

Playing in the kink community directly increased my physical pain tolerance, but that wasn’t the only change. It helped me develop self-control and the ability to delay gratification, two strengths that I use constantly in my personal life.

4. You Can Do You

I was like a lot of people who first show up in their local kink scene: Really unsure of myself. I felt curious and a little ashamed that I was exploring something that society thought was taboo.

What I found was one of the most accepting communities I’d ever encountered. Like any community, it has its quirks but by and large, I noticed a very encouraging pattern: People who had been active on the kink scene for a while owned their fetishes. They didn’t seem ashamed at all. They were proud of them.

Little by little, as I spent time with them, I built up my own sense of personal security. Over time, the petty things people said to me became less like valid criticisms and more like noise. I learned to qualify the person who criticized me to determine whether they were an accurate judge of the subject (and me) or not. If the criticism didn’t come from a source I respected, I simply stopped caring about it. I found that if someone doled out baseless criticisms about things that they didn’t have much knowledge about or hadn’t experienced themselves, it didn’t make me doubt myself. It made me doubt them.

Once I stopped constantly shaming myself and responding in a knee-jerk way to the shaming from others, I focused more on building and understanding my own values system to define my own sense of what is and isn’t important to me.

Again, this didn’t just help me within the kink community. It made me a more effective manager and consultant within the workplace. It made me a better friend.

5. There’s a Difference Between a Dominant and a Control Freak

A lot of people dipping their toe into kink for the first time will start by going online and chatting with people. While this can be an easy and discreet way to find like-minded others, it can be very difficult online to differentiate between people who are healthy, experienced dominants and control freaks claiming to be dominants who’ve just watched a lot of bad porn.

A good dominant:

*Cares whether a submissive provides consent

*Will negotiate and respect whatever limits and boundaries are set

*Doesn’t just take power and control, they take responsibility

While it might be scary to set foot in a real life kink group for the first time, I’ve found that getting connected to a local kink community is one of the best ways to sort out this difference. It’s much easier to tell all of these things in person.

6. We’re Into Different Things, Which IS Why Consent Is Important

There are some common sayings in the kink scene that acknowledge that while some people are into certain stuff and other people aren’t, it’s OK. A few of these are Your Kink Is OK and Your Kink Is Not My Kink, But Your Kink Is OK, or YKIOK or YKINMKBYKIOK (for short…ish).

What’s important here is that the kink scene openly acknowledges that one person’s kink is another person’s squick. Or that one person’s yummy is another person’s yuck.

It is most important that whatever people are doing involves clear consent. If it makes everyone happy and it’s not harming anyone (as opposed to hurting them, because as I wrote above, pain isn’t necessarily bad in the right context), then it’s a good time.

This was a really liberating idea that followed me everywhere else. Maybe certain people didn’t get my life choices, but they made sense to me and the people close to me and that was what was really important.

7. Don’t Trust People Who Don’t Respect Your Boundaries

Once you get used to explicitly setting boundaries , it becomes painfully clear who doesn’t respect them. And who will repeatedly violate them.

This was a painful realization in the short term because I did lose some people from my life. Yet, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Because I had more time for people who did respect my boundaries, I also had more time and energy to pursue things that fulfilled me rather than things that drained me.

It was a huge lesson. People all mostly act alike when you say yes to them. It’s when you start saying no to people that you really see who they are. Because most people can tolerate a reasonably stated no.

If they can’t, that’s not a person you should trust.

It doesn’t matter if they’re a top with a flogger, your best friend from college, or your mother-in-law.

8. You Learn to Recognize the Real Deal from the Fakers

I’ve met some of the most brilliant, adventurous, and just plain old fun people I’ve ever known in my local kink scene.

That said, I’ve also met some braggadocios who puff themselves up and lie about having kink experience and competence that they don’t have, essentially padding their kinky resumes with things they haven’t actually done. Maybe they saw it done once at another club and they tell you that they did it. Or maybe they say they have an extensive military background where they learned all sorts of rope and knife tricks – and you find out, no, wait, actually, they dropped out of basic training and watched a bunch of action movies.

I learned a lot by meeting people and observing them. I’ve even learned by personal experience. Over time, I developed a natural instinct where I could more easily spot a hype man much sooner and from a further distance away.

And this isn’t just useful in the kink seen. This lesson is also especially helpful in business meetings. Or when a friend is dating someone they’re gaa-gaa over who just sits with me the wrong way.

9. Watch Out for People Who Want Power & No Responsibility

As I mentioned above, a key difference between a dominant and a controlling person is that a dominant takes on responsibility when they take on power and a controlling person doesn’t.

I’m extra sensitive when it comes to spotting people who want to make decisions but don’t want to have any responsibility for the outcome of those decisions. I learned this difference on the kink scene, but just like the rest of these, I’ve found that I’m also better able to spot this difference in other settings too.

For example, it helps me figure out the difference between a good boss and a bad boss.

10. Reputation Can Help Keep You Safe.

The kink scene has its downsides just like any other community, but it definitely has some built-in safeguards that (although not foolproof) absolutely help make things a little better and, often, safer.

One of these is the power of reputation. I typically don’t play with brand new people. Instead, I tend to observe them for a while and talk to other people who have known them longer.

If I discover one “enemy,” it isn’t enough for me to consider someone a persona non grata (everyone has a bitter ex or two, myself included). However, I do pay special attention to patterns. If I hear negative things from enough people, especially people whose opinions I’ve come to respect and tend to be credible, that’s enough to give me serious pause.

It’s actually changed the way that I date. I like to know people for a while and get a sense of who their friends are before I get seriously involved. It means that I’m typically friends for a while first. This isn’t something that everyone is open to (a slow transition into a relationship), and that’s fine. However, it’s really been the best way I’ve found of assessing if someone’s life is going to match well with my own and vice versa.

Here is the link should you want to read it. https://www.kinkly.com/10-important-lessons-i-learned-when-i-found-my-local-kink-scene/2/17262

#IBD4U

Noodle #5

Noodle & I constantly chat every day, still taking it in turns – I honestly thought that would be the end, it should’ve been the end, this is stupid… We have even started to make sure we say goodnight every night too. What fucking losers! The next Tuesday we’re planning to meet again, he’s permanently changed his shift but not told his partner, so he can be at my house for 2 hours while she visits her parents. I ask him if he wants to try something a little kinky & he says yes. We’ve obviously talked about a little bit of kink before but he’s not done a lot so I don’t want to scare him, like I did Elvis. I mean I am by no means an expert but with the sound of his sex life, it’s just been doggy style & missionary with no cumming from her & few blow jobs but nothing too exciting (See I’d fucking hate if I knew my partner was telling another women about my sex life – that would kill me actually). Remembering this only the second time that we’re going to have sex & the third time that we’ve actually met in real life but it’s been 2 months of chatting daily so I already feel comfortable with this man, I want him to be kinky with me, I somehow trust him & who knows how much time we’ll have before she finds out or before one of us ends this – but I want to be his first for these things. I send him a message before he leaves work, ‘the door is unlocked,’ then I send ‘Choose your own adventure...’

I put my phone down, light some candles for mood lighting (I really need a lamp in my room so it’s not so romantic with the candles but I don’t like it pitch black but don’t like the overhead light on to make it too bright), I tie my ankles to the bottom corners of the X restraints on my bed & leave on a small towel, a flogger, a wartenberg pinwheel, a vibrator & a condom then lie face down on the bed, tying my wrists to the other corners of the bed, then I wait (This is my trust exercise with him, I can get out of these restraints, so if anything happens, I’m still safe!) My heart is pounding, I’ve never done anything like this before. I am so scared he won’t like what he sees when he finds me. I worry about what I look like, how fat I am, if he’ll even want me like this… I know he doesn’t like to feel stupid so I am worried this is too far, but I can tell he’s a natural.

As I hear my door unlatch, I suck in my breath thinking this is it! This is the first time I have topped from the bottom. I have no idea what he is going to do, if he even knows what some of the things are. He draws in a breath as he walks in & sees me lying there naked, tied up, face down. I hear him strip quickly, then starts there inspecting the toys I’ve left out before sliding his body up mine to kiss my lips.

Noodle Texting sex dating.png

Fuck this man makes me wet… he’s so not the type I usually go for, I don’t usually like a hairy chest but I love the feel of his chest hair lightly grazing on my naked back. I love his beard rubbing against my face as we kiss. Or as he kisses down my body, I can’t believe how sexy I find someone that usually isn’t my type.

He stands back up & plays with some toys, I know he feels stupid because he doesn’t know what to do, so I encourage him, he whips me a few times & I whimper, loving the feeling of him doing that to me, he runs the wheel up my leg a few times, across my back & I shudder. Next he has the vibe on me before he slips his cock in behind me, fucking me easily until I’m cumming, again so quickly… So quickly I couldn’t stop it even if I tried… (I don’t know how his partner does it?!) He doesn’t even have to try, it’s almost like the chemistry between us is enough for me to self-combust as soon as I am within metres of him. This is insane. I don’t know how I am going to recover when this is over! He says after that he wants to be inside me so badly that he can’t play with those toys long. I agree, I want him as close as I can when we’re together. I beg him to be inside me.

It’s only week 2 of fucking Noodle, but I can’t seem to get enough, he offers up at 6:00 am visit that Friday morning, just a few days later… I have been using pre workout so have barely been sleeping anyway, plus I wake up early to make sure I get some proper chat in with him before work, so I immediately agree. I am of course awake when he messages to say good morning & that he’s on his way. I leave the door unlocked & jump back into bed, trying to rest my eyes & go back to sleep. I would love to be woken up by him one day, but I’m a light sleeper, so I doubt I’ll get back to sleep now. I hear him come in, he’s never quiet & I wonder if he does that because he feels a bit weird & wants me to know that he’s there? I’m naked when he jumps into bed with me, he’s in his boxers, clearly not sure what he should be wearing, but they’re quickly taken off. We have mind blowing amazing sex, even though he has a signature move of my legs on his shoulders to make me spray squirt us both, it’s not boring like Milky’s signature move, I am cumming within seconds, saturating the bed, with absolutely no way of stopping him or my orgasm… I actually have to wonder how it keeps getting better every time we fuck.

The next Tuesday comes quickly, I am off work when he mentions that he should fake being sick, go home early but come to see me. He was coming over later that night as planned, but when he suggests that he “go home sick” & come see me, I agree that he can come over whenever he likes. He leaves work 1:30 pm, we immediately have sex when he gets to my place. Then because it’s a big joke on the group chat about having a bath with me after having redone my bathroom a few months earlier & I am always in it while chatting in the groups, Noodle suggests a bath with me & I jump at the chance. I am so excited about this – he says that my face lit up when he suggested it, I deny this! But I want a bath with him, but this is intimate. This is a very couply thing to do. But I literally am jumping out of my skin & I want more than anything for him to tell people in the group & make them jealous but we don’t. I’m not sure if I should face him or lean against him, so I opt for leaning against him. He gets bored after a short time & wants to get out, but all I want to do is relax in there all day with him.

We fuck several times, lying in bed cuddling… His hands constantly running up & down my skin, so much so that I ask him if he can keep his hands off me, so he stops touching me, but within seconds his hands start running up & down my skin, I laugh at him & he makes me aware of the fact that my legs are entwined with his & I am hugging him with my whole body, FUCK… I instantly try to roll away but he grabs me & we are as close as we can be without him actually being inside me. He stays at my house till when he normally leaves about 9:30 pm, the time goes so fast, I am I feeling things I’ve never felt before. Things I shouldn’t be feeling. This man has a partner!

Yet, I bloody well see him again on the Saturday for an hour for a lunch break quickie at my house. What is wrong with me? Why can’t I get enough of this man? This feels so good yet it’s so wrong & I am hating that I am not even thinking about his other life.

I get a little possessive, having a small fight with him, that I don’t like that he might be trying to fuck other people. I figure that if I am willing to put myself out there with him that he should make me a priority, he says ‘so a married guy pretty much has to put you first after his wife because of his limited availability’ I say yes… I mean if I am willing to do it with him, he says the sex is amazing, he shouldn’t want anyone else right? I think that about Max, why would he want anyone else?! But Noodle puts my mind at ease by telling me that he loves fucking me & really wants to fuck me again, so if he’s free & I’m available he’ll only fuck me. WOW. I didn’t realise I was so needy!

#IBD4U

Max #8

Max & I don’t talk a lot online anymore. But I chat to Noodle daily. Noodle is also really good friends with the chick that Max kissed at Switch. I decide that I am pissed with her just as much as I am with Max, so I ask Noodle if he’s told her about us fucking & he says that he trusts her & told her, but she’s the only one he’s told. So I tell him the story & why I don’t want her knowing my life story. However Noodle tells me that she’s showed him messages from Max saying things like ‘Hey cutie, it was great to meet you, I liked what we did on the dancefloor’ etc but she’s been ignoring him – approx. 8 or so messages, because of Sweetie & I. FUCK! This upsets me, why?! I mean, he’s barely seen me for weeks & is pursuing another woman? I mean at least end it with me first before you start chatting up people I am in a friendship group with – I wouldn’t say I’m friends with her, but if Noodle trusts her, then I do.

I message Max immediately, heart pounding in my chest because I’m so angry ‘I know you’re busy but we need to talk tonight, can I come to your office? I wouldn’t ask but it’s important’ He responds straight away, which is unusual for him, saying he’s at work & can be at mine right away. I don’t want him at my house but maybe I need the upper hand of being in my own space, to do this.I am oddly calm even though my heart is pounding but I didn’t want to end it with him over text or the phone, so I will do it person like an adult. I mean I am not really ready for this to end, but this is just fucked. He gets to my house, I can see he’s nervous, he doesn’t hug or kiss me, like usual. I offer him a drink, I’m drinking southern comfort for some liquid courage & we sit down on the couch. I start by telling him that I know about the messages to the other girl & that I while, I don’t want this to end with him, I can’t keep being a 17565 priority to him behind, his wife, kids, work & now other women, I know we’re not exclusive but I deserve better than this. I want & deserve to be treated with respect.

He asks me if he paid more attention to me the week prior to switch, would it have been ok if he kissed her? I say that I am not Sweetie & I am not ok with him kissing another women especially when he’s not even giving me what I need. He seems to get it & also agrees that he doesn’t want it to end with me but his wife has given him permission to see other women so he wants to be a slut. He then spins me what I know is bullshit about making a change & making more time for me. But it works… I mean I don’t want a boyfriend right now, but I don’t want to lose another FWB – I had 5, now I’m down to 2 being that I haven’t seen Origin for a while. We don’t usually kiss a lot but he kisses me tonight, we cuddle on the couch & I realise why I am in this position… He leaves later in the evening all seemingly well with us. I am angry at myself that I wasn’t able to end it but I am now do not care what happens. If Max doesn’t put in any effort, then I don’t care anymore.

The next day I wake up with tonsillitis. I call in sick & go to the dr’s for antibiotics. This is probably because I have been neglecting myself while focusing on married men who treat me like an option. Max knows I am home & feeling like shit, sitting on the couch when I see his car pull up, I think what the fuck is he doing here, I also look like a fucking homeless person what the fuck is he doing here… I see him walk down my driveway with a shopping bag & knock on the door… I answer, inviting him in, with verbal vomit about how shit I look but he says that he doesn’t want to get sick but he went shopping for me because he knows I don’t have a lot of food. I open up the bag to see soups & other soft foods & I smile like a dickhead. He doesn’t stay but I am stupidly impressed by the gesture. For Fuck Sake, I didn’t realise I was this type of woman! He can be sweet, I mean I’m not sure if it’s Sweetie’s doing or if it’s actually him, but I appreciate his efforts in trying to make me more of a priority. It’s really sweet, but I also can’t help but wonder if it’s also because the other chick never replied to his messages…?!

Max dating 2019 relationship.png

Well that was short lived! Hahaha… I don’t see max for another 2 weeks, what the fuck is up with this guy, but I don’t even care to be honest… I have checked out of this relationship or whatever it is. He comes over the morning that I have something on later in the arvo (Story to come) & we sit outside chatting before he bends me over the back table & spanks my ass so hard that I almost have to safe word him – this is probably the first time ever I have even thought about a safe word, but luckily he’s in tune with me enough to stop when I am at that limit. I don’t know if it’s because of where I am going later today or what, but he messages me a lot that afternoon. I can barely sit down in the car on the way to my next date that I wonder if that is also Max’s game… so I don’t forget him?

A week later Max asks to see me & I agree he can come over, he tells me he can’t stay over which isn’t a problem, but we just hang out at my house. Later he looks at his phone & asks if it’s ok if Sweetie comes over, they’ve got an older girl staying with them at the moment who has agreed to look after the sleeping kids. I don’t really feel in the mood to have a 3sum with them, especially with the recent weeks being as they have been, but I also don’t know how to say no, so I say she can come over but I am going to act in a way that they know that I am not going to fuck them together tonight.

Sweetie comes over & we just hang & chat. It’s actually quite a nice evening, before Sweetie says goodbye & Max hangs back saying that he’s going to stay the night. I say that he doesn’t have too not wanting to make a big deal of it, but I had been banging on about the fact he never stays over anymore.

My favourite thing about a guy staying over is waking up in the middle of the night to have sex & then having sex again in the morning. Literally the best sex I ever have! I love it… Which of course we do, he wakes me up in the middle of the night, which is usual for him, however I guess he’s only stayed over a few times really. But he wakes me Up & we have normal couple sex for the first time ever, I think… No kink, just sex…

#IBD4U