A dude, Elvis, adds me on Facebook & I was like who the fuck is this? He’s super cute but looks young but I have no idea who he is, so I look at our mutual friends, we have my friend & her partner. Must be his friend? I ask my friend, while I’m at their house why she thinks he would add me on FB & she says because her partner thinks I am this sex feind & will be able to teach this young gun a thing or 2. Oh good…
Firstly why does her partner know about my sex life & second, who says I want to teach anybody anything? I’m more submissive than a dominant, I do like to switch but I don’t really want to have to teach someone how to be kinky – I mean I’m still pretty new at it myself.
I decide to add him because he is very cute but I know he’s young, he says he was “talked” into adding me, which is a hit to my ego! I try to end the conversation because I don’t want someone to have to be talked into getting to know me. But he says no, he added me because I seem like a fun chick to get to know, WTF does that mean? I ask & he says that it’s just boy talk. Yeah dude, that’s what worries me!
He says that he was asking if my friend had any single friends & my name came up so he asks me if I am happy. Well am I happy? I have decided that I do not want a relationship at the moment, I am so hurt from all this bullshit I’ve been through, that maybe a FWB is what I need.
He says that his friend told him that I am quite sexually active & experimentative (as if that’s even a word!) – Well I guess that is true! But he says he takes what his friend says with a grain of salt because boys do embellish when they talk. But he seems a bit shy & when I ask what my friends partner has said he tells me that he been told ‘that you may have some toys & like to use them with company, if you get what I mean?’ Yes I get what you mean & yes it’s true! Hahaha. I explain that I am still fairly new to kink really, in the scheme of things, like only 18 months or so that’s why I am now looking to explore more & not entirely ready to settle down with just 1 guy now.
He says that recently single out of about 7 years of relationships he now has lost his sexual mojo. I say that he just needs to get back out there. I went from having no sex or boring sex to the kinkiest sex I’ve ever had.
He agrees that he felt better in a relationship than when he was trying some casual sex, because you know the person’s body so well, it makes a difference than when you just fuck someone once. But I explain that I am never looking for an ONS. I want something more ongoing, it doesn’t have to be a relationship but I don’t want to just have another notch on my bedpost. We chat freely about sex a lot more. I don’t want to oversell myself. So I try to bring it back real life, maybe I’m really shit in bed, that’s why I’ve been single so long? I also am conscious that this is my friends boyfriends friend. I don’t want stuff getting back to him, so I try to reserve myself a little, but I also have this problem with oversharing. (hahaha, you’d never guess that would you? Writing a blog about my dating/sex life!)
He tells me he hasn’t really done anything kinky. I tell him I’m usually the one tied up & he says that he loves that idea. I talk about how I like pain & what I am open to trying. I realise that he’s much younger than me, but of course he says that he’s always wanted to fuck an older woman & that it would be hot (As if he’s the first man to ever say that to me!)
I show him some toys that he’s never heard of like a warternberg pinwheel & a flogger which he kinda freaks out a little thinking when I meant toys, that I meant I only had vibrators, but he’s glad I’m open to more & am willing to discuss it with him. I talk to him about the open relationship with Max & how I talk more to Sweetie than him now, it’s also around the time that I tell him I am looking at threesomes & really opening myself up. That’s about when Elvis stops replying to my messages.
Unusual for me, I send him a message the next night asking if I scared him off, he says no it was exciting but doesn’t offer much so I say that I’ll think I overshared & that I’m sorry. He says that ‘it’s ok, only thing it did leave me wondering, how the fuck am I ever going to satisfy this woman’ I explain that’s why, at the moment, I have more than one guy on the go, because I’ve become too sexual & am not getting enough from any of the guys. He asks if I’ll take him on a project & be his sexy teacher.
I explain that sex fortnightly isn’t going to work for me or him leaving right after we’ve cum. He agrees that it might take him a while to get back into it, but he wants what I want too. We talk about sleepovers & aftercare, he jumps at this topic asking if kissing if ok. I mean I am not Vivian in Pretty Woman, I do like to be kissed & touched, I even say that he can spoon me, but that doesn’t mean we’ll have feelings for each other (Stupidly, been there, done that!) I say that I will care for my FWB (of course) but I won’t catch feelings for him – I’m done thinking I’m falling for FWB, however I will want to know more about him as we are going to be friends. He says that he wishes more women were like me.
He tells me that he’s terrified of another relationship as he’s just gotten out of something with a drug addict & he’s also gotten off the hard drugs recently himself. But for me the most important thing is that he keep his mouth shut to his friends about me. Kinda reminds me of that chick Coral in the movie Cocktail when she says:”too bad you couldn’t keep your mouth shut about our sex life…it only gets better!” If I do this with him & I hear that someone else knows, I will be furious! (But here I am now writing about it! Hahaha – Sorry dude!)
I explain that my hard limits include: animals, kids, degrading stuff, bloody play, fire play & scat (shit), he agrees with all of them though he says he’s not done much to even have a hard limit list, he’s also concerned that he won’t even like any kink, which is also ok. It’s not for everyone, I didn’t think I would ever be this open about my sex life.
I feel sorry for him when he says that he’s nervous about meeting me, I’m not trying to scare him, I’m just being open & honest about what I want. I mean with Milky I wasn’t & then we pretty much didn’t do much kinky stuff at all – I don’t want to make that mistake again! I ask if he’s the jealous type because I’m finding more & more guys are not ok with me fucking other guys, they say they want to hear about it & Elvis says he wants to hear about it, but in reality, I don’t think they do!