Month: May 2026

September 2025 – Missed Call

21 September 2025 – Today he said he could see me, two weeks since we last had sex when I went to his house for my keys – I thought things would be better, but they haven’t been. He wants to just chill in the car when I see him. I take him lunch because that it my love language, doing things for people & they say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach… Every time I’ve said that he’s told me I had his heart a long time ago.. But I don’t. I never did have his heart. I had his dick & that’s all…

I go down to his work to see him after work around 12:00pm, he just wants to hang out, no sex. I rock up early to make sure that we don’t waste any time with him waiting for me, why, I don’t know, he strolls out of work, over to his car & then heads back to mine, like he isn’t even excited to see me. I have the food heated for him like some sort of fuckwit – even though I said I wouldn’t & we drive to the beach to park & chill – as he suggested. He eats & as we talk. I can’t bring up anything about the way he treats me because that would be criticism, so I just keep it light & airy, letting him take the lead on the conversation, barely saying anything – he doesn’t notice.

He tells me that he’s going away for the October long weekend & his wife is on holidays for a week before it during school holidays, so that means he won’t talk to me that entire time, because of course he can’t message when she’s not at work. I make peace with this. He is Obsidian. His heart has closed, if it was every truly open. Our time is over. We are just fuck buddies now. I shouldn’t have brought food. What an idiot… There is no coming back from this because he keeps me at a distance now. So this is one reason why he’s pulling away, he knew she was going on leave & knew they were going away & won’t be able to talk to me, so he’s pulled away in advance, so I won’t be pissed off when he doesn’t talk to me for a week. I know he’s not going to leave her, I’ve never asked that of him & even if I did ask, he wouldn’t anyway… But let’s just say he did, she wouldn’t leave us alone so I don’t want that & I don’t want him to her her for me. He has to leave her because he wants too & I would have been there for him. So I never expected that, but I really thought this time was different & was deeper but on the other hand, I am surprised this lasted longer than six months. But it’s his thing, the first affair, we hit the six month mark & he started pulling away the closer it got to the baby being born, the second affair, he was all hot & heavy, spouting his love until he realised that it was close to the wedding. I don’t know what his big thing is this time, I still think he’s painting the house to sell & move to TAS but won’t tell me, but there is 100% something going on because I look back over the texts – as I delete them from snapchat – & I have always gotten snippy & when I did Obsidian would push to make things right, making me feel better, he’s usually able to diffuse it by saying something sweet or cute. Anytime he got shitty at me, usually about something I wrote in my blog, I would spend so much time boosting his ego – not that any of it was fake but what I’m saying is that we perked each other up, not just crack the shits & log off for days. Now he couldn’t give a fuck.

Rewinding back to earlier in September, I had bought tickets to G-Flip in March 2026, as it’s around our anniversary – which will be nine years, I start to fantasise about us going together, he could use someone at his work an excuse – he went out for lunch with those blokes, had a birthday dinner & a work event, that one of them could have tickets to something that he could use as an alibi…. I fantasise about a night time date, being at a concert together. Something I have wanted with him for the longest time being that music is our thing. I don’t tell him I have tickets, I figure it won’t happen anyway, he won’t use any alibi I create for him, he’ll only see me when she is at work. Eventually, I might have floated the idea in March 2026, but now with the formation of Obsidian, I am not convinced we’ll even be talking then…

So I’ve been listening a lot to G-Flip because of the tickets, usually I listen to an artist after I buy tickets, & for the first time ever since I have met Obsidian, he comments negatively on my music choice. I forget exactly what he says, but something like ‘what the fuck is this?’ & something about their voice, that it hits me & I know now that whatever it is between us needs to just be about sex. I was stupid to come with lunch. We are just sex to each other, well he is more than that to me, but I am not truly anything more to him… When he chooses to harangue me on the music choice when things are so fucking awkward between us already, I know this needs to be sex, especially today. I keep suggesting that we have sex, looking at him with my best ‘fuck me eyes’ until he says ‘fuck it just go to our place’ when he says our place he means this little dead end road that’s off the beaten track where we have gone to fuck a few times. I love that he called it ‘our place’ but there is something final about this. We pull up & get in the back seat, we fuck, me riding him & cumming, then him flipping me over to fuck me hard till he cums. Once we’re done, I quickly pull up my panties & start getting dressed back into my scrunch bum tights, before he has a chance to say anything about needing to go – I know you need to go mate, don’t need to tell me. He follows my lead, getting dressed slower than me, I think he’s a little taken a back with how quickly I got dressed – but he probably didn’t nofice, & then he gets out of the car. I get out the same door as him, I know this is it… I hug him really tight, breathing him in… Knowing that this is the last time we are going to have sex. Maybe not forever, but this was the last time in the Phoenix-ish era, he’s technically already Obsidian. It’s like he senses it too because he hugs me back tighter than usual, I break the hug when I feel his grip tighten around my shoulders & I get in the car before I fucking cry… I drop him off & it feels done & finalised…. I try to text with him, having been the first to message this morning & the first to message after I dropped him back, but get a typical Obsidian reply to my cute message. “At least you get to see your sexy little mistress for a little bit after….” & he says, “She was very sexy!” then he says he’s heading offline, no kiss, no hug, no goodbye.

Obsidian has gone from messaging me so much, that we had over 30 A4 pages of chats most days to just seven messages in total. I know we speak on the phone, which clearly isn’t his highlight because I’m a criticising bitch. He’s said some awful things to me, but I have never actually felt so insulted by something Obsidian has said to me, music is our thing, lyrics is our thing & it’s the first time in eight years that he has said something negative about my choice of music. I know this probably seems a really dumb thing to be so upset about considering all the fucking asshole things he’s said to me, this actually wasn’t even that bad but it stings. Music has always been our thing & it’s been like a sign that I was right to put him in the Obsidian category & a rose petal frees itself from the stem…

So after our catch up, I crank the G-Flip song In Another Life, off their new album that I have been listening to a lot since it came out & ironically is so relevant to our situation… Could our stars align?! I don’t think they ever will, so I’ll just be waiting, for when it’s right… I put it on repeat the whole way home, loud & sing all the words. I know that Obsidian & I won’t see each other again this affair, maybe in another life…

G Flip – In Another Life

Late night, drivin’ around
I’m thinking about us
Wishin’ time would slow down
I miss you more than you’ll ever know

Should I waste my time
Telling myself it can’t be over?
Or could the stars align
And everything I’ve been dreamin’ ends in us?
And if it’s not our time
Will you be mine
In another life?

I will be waiting
Waiting for when it’s right
Even if it’s meant to be, you and me
In another life (in another life)
I will be waiting
Waiting to hold you tight
Even if it’s meant to be, you and me
In another life (in another life)

I see your face in strangers on the street
I hear your voice in the silence when I sleep
I feel you in an empty room
No matter what I say or do
It’s always coming back to you
Oh

Should I waste my time
Telling myself it can’t be over?
Or could the stars align
And everything I’ve been dreamin’ ends in us?
And if it’s not our time
Will you be mine
In another life?

I will be waiting
Waiting for when it’s right
Even if it’s meant to be, you and me
In another life (in another life)
I will be waiting
Waiting to hold you tight
Even if it’s meant to be, you and me
In another life (in another life)

I will be waiting
Should I waste my time
Telling myself it can’t be over?
Or could the stars align
And everything I’ve been dreamin’ ends in us?
Even if it’s meant to be, you and me
In another life (life)

I will be waiting
Should I waste my time
Telling myself it can’t be over?
Waiting to hold you tight
Or could the stars align
And everything I’ve been dreamin’ ends in us?
Even if it’s meant to be, you and me
In another life (in another life)

I will be waiting
Waiting to hold you tight
Even if it’s meant to be, you and me
In another life

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Karen Sotomayor / Georgia Flipo / Aidan Hogg

In Another Life lyrics © Artist Publishing Group West, Speaker Full Of Seeker Music, Flipo Music Pty Limited

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22 September 2025 – If you haven’t noticed by now, the dated posts are generally written on the day in the title. I’ve been writing more like a journal, than a month by month summary. Well mainly because there has been a lot more to write about. I mean in affair one I would have written more if I knew it was going to go into a blog. Now I write because I have no one to talk to about our relationship, no one knows about it, I can’t be myself around Obsidian & explain how I feel because he says that I am criticising him & pulls away more. I’ve been deleting our chat so I no longer get accused of having records to quote, so I write like a journal to get it all out of my head.

He finally comes back online today, around 1:00pm, having not read my goodnight message the night before, fucking typical Obsidian bullshit! I just stop letting it consume me… He sends a couple of messages asking how I am & if I have work to do today but around 3:00pm he asks what time I finish work, I tell him shortly & by 3:10pm he asks if I want to call him when I am driving home. I don’t reply to that, because I leave work literally ten minutes later & call him as I am walking out to the car. On snapchat it rings forever, I know it usually takes him a bit of time to answer so I let it ring. No answer. I figure he’ll call me back in a second so I keep my headphones in & start driving home, making sure my snap is open & he can see that my bitmoji is driving.

But here I am 2.5 hours later & he hasn’t called back & he hasn’t messaged… Are you telling me for 2.5 hours he’s not even looked at his phone to see if I called when I left work?! He knows I finish at 3:30pm every fucking day! He thinks about me so little that it takes ten minutes for him to forget that he asked me to call? I think about it the whole drive home & get more upset thinking that I should call again, but he knew I was going to call so I am not going to chase him. I go to the shops to pick up a click & collect, I come home, wash my hair & still nothing from him – not even a message to say he couldn’t answer. I get that he might not be able to talk on the phone now being the kids would be home, but he could fucking text to tell me why he didn’t answer – surely she didn’t walk in the door as soon as I was supposed to call…

Another hour later, I stupidly look at his fucking Facebook page for the first time in ages, this is exactly why I stopped looking because two hours ago & one hour ago he fucking posted shit on there, but hasn’t looked at his snapchat to see my missed call? So he’s not dead, nothing dramatic has happened because he’s fucking posting bullshit but I hate looking at it because it just shows me that I mean absolutely nothing to him. He doesn’t think about me. Why wasn’t he prepared for my call, knowing that I would 100% call when he asked me & if I didn’t call, why hasn’t he looked at his snapchat to see the missed call? Is he waiting for a message?

Five hours later, another two posts on his Facebook & not a message to me. What the actual fucking fuck? It’s Monday night, she works late, so he’s home alone, I’m sure there will be some excuse that she came home from work sick so he couldn’t use his phone at the exact second I was calling. But do you know what, he’s told me a million times, that when she’s sick all she does is sleep… Obsidian, you fucking liar, you can use your phone, you just choose not too. But also you can use snapchat on a computer & it doesn’t need an app, so send me a quick message & delete the history, not that fucking hard…

I refuse to message, I am always the fucking fool in this relationship – that isn’t even a relationship & today is no exception. How fucking foolish was I to rush out of work, call him & then be fucking ghosted… I keep thinking that I should message ‘good chat’ or something equally as snippy, but you know, then I’ll get accused of being criticising & he’ll back off – if backing off more is even possible.

Because he’s an old man, he’ll go to bed shortly, even though she won’t be home for another 1.5 hours or so, he won’t chat to me now… & if he does, what the fuck is he going to say? I’m so done with being his door mat. The thing he said he wished he didn’t take for granted, the thing he wished he talked to more in the last five years & what is he doing, taking me for granted & not talking to me when he can… So, I could not be more foolish if I tried. I hate myself for not being able to walk away. What the fuck is keeping me with this guy?

#IBD4U