Obsidian #10

December 2025 – omg you got me a present?

1 December 2025 – I had wrapped the Lego Gameboy carefully not long after I got it, sometime in October so I didn’t have to keep looking at the words Gameboy on the box every time I walked past it, I wrapped it in bubble wrap, placed it in a postage bag & put it in my spare room where it stayed for the rest of October & all of November, until I decide what to do with it…

My intrusive thoughts allow me to suggest to Misty that if I was psycho, I would drop it off at their house, knock on the door or even leave it on the door step… I could post it with a card & a return sender address so if she’s home when it arrives she would recognise the address. I could post anonymously, he would probably know it’s from me but it would drive her crazy. I wonder what fucking dumb excuse he would give her. I told you about the cut on his dick excuse, right? That he cut through his pants & boxers at work with a knife… Yeah ok dude! I wonder what he would come up with for this, who gave it to him & why. She would believe what he told her because like me, she wants to believe he is a good guy & has no reason not to believe him – or no proof not to believe him. The only thing about this scenario, is she drills him about it so much that he throws it away… I mean I risk that no matter what really. I could go to his work, just rock up or leave it on his car… No note… no card, just the gift…

I decide that if I haven’t heard from him by the first week of December, that I am just going to post it to get it out of my house without a card or my name on it, I don’t want to do it too close to Christmas. I wish I took it the day he left his keys in his front seat, that would have been a perfect way to give it to him – however I didn’t know I’d never see him again & I wasn’t sure then if I was going to even give it to him. On the first of December I print out at work on a peice of plain white paper, his name & address, I fold it up & take it home, still not 100% sure I can do this. I am not insane, I don’t want to cause drama, I know I said I wanted revenge, but I am not that person, but I genuinely do want him to have it & I see no other way at this point of getting it to him – I never expected to not see him again, let alone never talk to him again. I am not going to go to his house or work to give it to him, he couldn’t even fucking see me to give me my key back. So I will just have to post it & hope he likes it, builds it & displays it. He has no empathy or sentimental feelings & clearly no love for anyone but himself, so he will probably just throw it away… I guess I may never know…

3 December 2025 – I put his printed name tag on the postage bag & even as I walk into the post office to post it, I am not sure I can go through with this? Obsidian barely comes online to even see if I have messaged him, so I figure there is no point reaching out, he hasn’t so why should I. The couple of lash client that know, have said not to send the Lego to give it to someone else or sell it, but this didn’t end because I hate him or because I don’t love him anymore… I still love him, I still want him, I still miss him. I just want to be disrespected anymore. I knew what I was, I was second to his family the entire eight years, but I am not going to be pushed down the priority ladder behind mowing his lawns, exercising, cooking, cleaning, working & his Facebook page when I didn’t ask for this.

This is going to go one of three ways. He could ignore it. He could message me & I assume that if he does choose to message me, it’ll be something accusatory because I posted to his house & his wife saw it or he could just not say anything & post me something back or drop something off at my house. I think the latter is just a romantic comedy scenario that I wish would happen, but it 100% won’t. I will not get a return gift from him – not that I am doing this for that, but I will never get any thing from him ever again. If I even get a message, I will literally be so surprised!

05 December 2025 – The next day comes & goes, I hear nothing, so I assume that he is just going to ignore it. I talk to a friend who says that it probably won’t be delivered that quickly. So maybe he isn’t ignoring it, maybe he hasn’t got it. I didn’t add tracking as I didn’t want him to know it was from me, at least before he opened it. I assume he hasn’t got it & I wish I added tracking, so I knew it was delivered at least. But this is probably for the better because I don’t want to know for sure if he is ignoring it or not. I would rather just think that it wasn’t delivered. Maybe it’s lost in the post. I may never know & sometimes that just seems like the best option.

Spotify release the 2025 wrapped which is all the top songs that you’ve listened to this year… Mine seems to depict the year I’ve had with Obsidian who turned into everything I wanted from Marvel into Phoenix, to as quick as he came, he let the fire burn out & returned to Obsidian.

Ironically my number one song that I listened to about Obsidian was Bad Habits by Nerv, which I’ve never posted on here. It’s ironic because it’s so fucking relevant to our situation… The lyrics are so fucking right that I had listened over & over again, but because I never thought it would end between us, this song was great but I didn’t post it because it talks about the end… When I found this song, I thought about it as the previous affairs, but now, even the film clip is literally eerily accurate.

Bad Habits – Nerv

It’s crazy
How did this start with fire?
Burning when I met you, with desire
It’s crazy
How did we get to this?
We both fell for something we didn’t know exists
Me to you, you to me
I’m loving every whisper
Love the way you tease
And me to you, you to me
I’m not one to get addicted
But girl, you got me

Closer we get, I’m losing my mind
Catch my breath, leave me behind

I don’t wanna, don’t wanna
I don’t wanna stop
Breathing you in, yeah
I don’t wanna stop
I feel something so electric
Overwhelming, unexpected
I don’t wanna, don’t wanna
I don’t wanna stop
Breathing you in, yeah
I don’t wanna stop
I feel something so electric
Lay me down and leave me breathless

Damn, I didn’t realize I was sleeping
Didn’t know you’re just what I needed
But now I’m just so deep and
Damn, I’m awake but you got me dreaming
And every part of me screaming
So come on baby, lean in

Me to you, you to me
I’m loving every whisper
Love the way you tease
And me to you, you to me
I’m not one to get addicted
But girl, you got me

Closer we get, I’m losing my mind
Catch my breath, leave me behind

And I lost control, you had it
We were alone, bad habits
We lost control, we had it
Now I’m alone, bad habit
I lost control, you had it
We were alone, bad habits
We lost control, we had it
Now I’m alone

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: David Jones / Dillon Jones / Jordan Grokett / Scott Buchanan / Tyler Clar

06 December 2025 – At the time I write this, we haven’t seen each other since the 21 September 2025, 76 days ago. We haven’t spoken on the phone since 24 September 2025, 73 days ago. We haven’t texted since 25 October 2025, 42 days ago. But today, I wake up to a snapchat notification that says ‘Obsidian sent you a chat’ at 4:32am. Fuck. So I assume that he’s got the parcel… So there are two options here for what this message from him says, it’ll be a question why I got him a present, but what is more likely is some asshole accusatory comment about sending something to his house, especially if his wife saw it.

I don’t want to click on it, knowing that as it came at 4:30am – when he’s a zombie, remember, he’ll be up working today & able to chat – if he’s not too busy of course with LMA, so I just half swipe it & I see, “omg you got me a present?” An unexpected response to the gift AI thought was brilliant… He doesn’t say thank you – which I knew he wouldn’t, he’s not an apprective type of guy. He doesn’t say if he likes it or not, He doesn’t tell he appreciates the gesture… As if I expected any of that really… I don’t know her schedule anymore so don’t know if she’s working or not this weekend, I choose not to reply to Obsidian. Yet. Or maybe at all…

OMG it’s so hard not to click on it & write back…

07 December 2025 – The next morning, when I click on his message & see his profile, his snapchat score has gone up by one. I have looked his profile so many times lately to see the green dot, so I know the number… Remember that this is his fake account, not his real snapchat, so he doesn’t have family & friends on it, he doesn’t post to his story, like I do so my snapchat score goes up all the time & always has, his doesn’t & hadn’t changed since we stopped talking. So as I am thinking that I am going to write back, extend an olive branch, I realise that when he said he was busy, he meant it. With someone else. He said at the beginning I’m unreplaceable – I think he meant irreplaceable, but I use his words, but the day he messages me finally after a month of not talking to his best friend, he is snapchattting with someone else, no doubt, sexting at 4:30am, because all he sends is food or his dick, no other chick wants to see his food – he even admitted that he sexed with someone while leaving me on unread for weeks… So why am I so surprised? Why am I so hurt? I am so easily replaced, his wife doesn’t give him what he needs, I have never been able to give him what he needs, I was always stupid to think he would be heartbroken too, he always moves on so easily & moved on every other time without a thought about me. Remember the open relationship bullshit? Pfft… As if he was ever doing that to see me… He did that to get sex & keep his house!! I haven’t messaged or met anyone else for years & here he is snapchatting on his fake account to another woman, while being a fucking prick to me.

The extra shit part is, that his snap score hadn’t moved since we stopped chatting, so I was led to a false sense of security that he wasn’t messaging anyone else, being he had only come online once a week. So I felt like I could give him the lego & not feel like a fool for doing so, because he might be feeling like I am wondering how did things go so wrong. I haven’t been able to even have a conversation with anyone on snapchat, not even J-lo or Rob Rob, but I bet you that Obsidian thinks I am fucking everything & everyone right now. So when I posted the present, I felt ok about it, I didn’t feel foolish or scare, I felt that I wasn’t just one of the many women in his life, despite him not caring & being too busy to even download snapchat for a daily conversation.

So now, I will never believe that Obsidian cares about me, I know he loves me – if you can call what we had love, but he doesn’t care about me & there is a big difference between the two. He didn’t care I had surgery – he doesn’t even know what surgery I had or if I am ok to this very day (the day of posting!). I know I don’t know if he’s had surgery or something awful happen, but he hasn’t told me so I wouldn’t know. He doesn’t care that he would log off & not talk to me for hours & how I felt about it because I told him time & time again, but he kept doing it despite him telling me that if I asked him back then to stop talking to other women that he would have… Bullshit. He fucking publicly flirted with someone I didn’t even know & let her absolutely humiliate me in the group chat, just so he could see if I would get jealous – she would tell him she was actively trying to piss me off, because I fucked Cowboy & was fucking Obsidian, someone she wanted to too? I didn’t even know her or that she was Cowboys Mistress. Be pissed at him, not me. Obsidian even did it to his wife in the spa when they first got together & admitted that if his wife got out the spa, he would have fucked the chick that was cracking on to him – so bullshit he cares about me at all or anyone else…

I’m glad I saw that because I was going to write back, ‘I preordered it for you, I thought it would look cool with all your consoles, wish I was able to see it. No matter how weird things are, it arrived & I still wanted you to have it, I miss you. xxx’ but I don’t want to be so nice about it now… I feel like a fucking fool… Why the fuck did I want to give it to him?! I wish I didn’t send it. He has proven to me that I don’t matter, why did I want him to know that he matters to me?! As I sit here writing on my blog, procrastinating about what I am going to write back I get a notification ‘Obsidian is typing…’ & it takes three minutes for the ‘Obsidian has sent you a chat’ notification to come through. When I click on it, Mr narcissistic is ever so present “I bet you miss me a little 🤔” Do I? After that revelation only minutes ago, that he doesn’t care about me… I realised a while ago he doesn’t love me, but I figured he cared… Do I miss him? Or do I just miss what little time he gave me? I write back cold as ice, “I pre-ordered the lego in sept.” He writes back quickly, “How you been Miss Stubborn? And fuck me I thought I was a stubborn person…” I just say hours kater, “That you are.” He forgets that every time we’ve stopped talking, it’s been me that has reached out, he may have been the first one to say I love you the first time but I bite the bullet every time we don’t speak to push for the friendship to be rekindled. Yet he clobbers me every time… If I knew I was just one of the many & Cowboys Mistress was flirting in front of me to piss me off, I would have pulled back from Obsidian a lot sooner. She can have him. He fucking goes on about me not being loyal, he’s the most disloyal fucker alive! Though he’ll say he never claimed to be loyal. LMA is welcome to him. He is incapable of love & incapable of friendship.

He ignores my jabs & writes back quicker than I am (for a change), “You look like you have been busy working on your caravan.” FUCK. I don’t want to talk about my caravan with him, he made fun of me when I told him I was getting one, I tried to lighten the topic by telling him at the time I wanted to christen it with him, but now I don’t want to talk about it with him, I don’t want him to see it & I don’t want him to know anything about it. He doesn’t even know what it looked like so he wouldn’t know what I’ve done to it anyway… I reply after 10:00pm when I know he will be in bed & won’t come back online tonight & probably not tomorrow either “Yeah just normal people busy, not Obsidian busy, of course.”

#IBD4U

	I've Been Dating For… on Phoenix #55
	Anonymous on Phoenix #55
	Phoenix #64 –… on Marvel #15
	Phoenix #63 –… on Silverlining #17
	Phoenix #57 –… on Sponge

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