Month: Nov 2022

A client at my little business introduced me to M8 because I need electrical work done, I am becoming paranoid about my dogs & neighbours with the renovation so I bought cameras to put up. While I don’t need an electrician as such, I do have some more heated towel rails which are hard wired to put up so I enlist the skills of a electrician friend of a friend who’s happy to do a cash job for me.

My friend doesn’t give me his contact details, I know he’s a FIFO worker with a girlfriend. But he never comes over the last time he was home, so I post on FB looking for another one but she reminds him, he has now broken up with the girlfriend. Our friend tells me that he’s going to the gym then he’ll be over after work one night. I honestly forget he’s coming because it gets later in the evening (like 8pm – I’m such a grandma) so I’d already changed into my oodie & ugg boots. I looked like a bridge troll to be honest, hair desperately needs washing & I’m not wearing underwear. Such an embarrassing look for a first meeting, now I look back, especially because we had a bit of banter & he was quite cute.

He’s super tall, like over 6ft, quite slim, he’s wearing a hat but he’s got brown hair & wearing glasses. He looks at all the work I want done, draws me a picture of how the cameras will be & where I want them. He looks at the towel rails & says he’ll look in the roof when he’s in there for the cabling to see if he can do them without having to put holes in my bedroom wall. He gives me his number & because it’s close to my birthday, I tell M8 that I may be hungover on the Sunday if he comes over then. I have organised to go out with a bunch of friends on the Saturday afternoon but when I look at the guest list, I realise it’s all couples & one other girlfriend… I do not want to be out with all couples… So I toy with the idea of cancelling saying I’m sick – but then you need a covid test, I could be vomiting or something but praise the weather gods, the weather looks dreadful so I cancel as it’s an outdoor pub… (Ironically the weather was a perfect winter day!)

I message M8 through the week to come over Sunday, he didn’t want to be here when I am not here… He said something about my dogs, but I was like they know who you are now, so it’s all good. But he doesn’t seem to like that idea so I try to organise a time when I am home… I hate being home when tradies are here, because I feel like I should be doing something. He comes over on Sunday & the first thing he says is as he walks in the door & looks at me is “I’ve got that jumper” I laugh & say something like it’s amazing, but I am too busy trying to calm my two year old puppies – which is usually what happens when someone new comes to my house. I genuinely don’t think much of this comment, it’s just a black jumper with a green Zro Fux on it…

He stands in the dining room, going though the boxes of cameras & he starts unravelling all the cables – like for all 6 cameras, so there are cables everywhere, talking to me as I clean up the ants that are running over my kitchen – he says he’ll have a look in the roof for me as to where they are coming from (which he never does!) I also don’t even know how or why but we’re talking about dog hair on my clothes & how bad these dogs shed their fur & so it makes me conscious of the dog hair on the black jumper, that I use my lint roller, in front of him. He also asks about my birthday (he remembered?!), says happy birthday but I tell him I didn’t go out in the end… He asks my age & says that I don’t look 41, which I hear a lot.

Before he starts, I suggest we get the actual cameras synced to my phone & the DVR, so we start connecting it to my TV, it shows up. He remembers my user name & password which makes me uneasy but I don’t think much of it either. We get the cameras connected but then they won’t work when disconnected from the internet. It’s a lot of tooing & froing to get them to connect with my laptop & spare TV but the fuckers won’t connect. We spend about 3 hours trying to connect the stupid thing to my phone but it wouldn’t when we realise that I need a longer ethernet cable. We decide to give up until I get a bigger cord, I say I’ll get one from work tomorrow. So he packs up his stuff but hangs around for about another hour, just chatting & him sending snapchats to fuck knows who, which leads me to understand why it’s called snapchat – you send a snap that’s a chat. Bahahaha, I lose it & he thinks it’s hilarious that I didn’t know that. When he leaves finally – not that it was awkward, but it was a bit weird that he hung around for so long, he narrowly misses my family rocking up for dinner.

I add him on snapchat to send him a joke snapchat, but he doesn’t add me back. I do have a weird user name, so I could look like a bot, I guess… The next day I find a cord at work & send him a text picture of it letting him know I have one… When I get home from work, I connect it up & get all the cameras working on my phone so we solved the problem, I send him some pics of it working. I tell him he can come over this weekend again to install them & he says he’s going out sat night to a car meet “boy things” – his words & he’ll be free Sunday.

This banter lasts all week, we text a lot, more than you should be a random tradie doing work for you & he adds me on snapchat, where we chit chat & joke around, talk about everything non related to my electrical job. I find myself laughing & enjoying the banter with him, considering we’ve only met once… Again when I least expected to be having a connection with a guy, someone comes along… Not thinking much of the late night chats till 1:30am or waking up super early to see a message from him… He keeps the conversation going asking questions, being interested but it doesn’t get dirty cheeky which I like – even when I test the waters on a cheeky chat.

He gest a burger one night this week & it makes me really want a good burger, it becomes a bit of a joke that I never get one due to me trying another fad of Intermittent Fasting, trying to lose more weight, still. He’s not working at the moment so we joke about him driving me places, being that I’ve had to go to the Barossa for work. He seems genuine to want to do that – not that I would make someone drive me somewhere that I barely know, but I feel like there is something more there with this guy than other guys… At one point I even feel like he’s hinting that he’ll housesit for me when I have to go away for work.

We joke about a lot of things… He says things that lead me astray though, like him waiting to see my hair before I straighten it. He also says something about driving when when I say that I have to go pick up my work phone & I’m texting with him so I suggest that he takes me but it never happens for whatever reason – maybe because I wasn’t direct & it got too late & I just went on my own & was home before he said he could do it & probably all for the best, I want my cameras up so I probably shouldn’t push this friendship & just leave him as my electrician.

On Thursday our mutual friend comes to me for her lash appointment & rocks up in a weird car, I ask who’s car & she says a name & I say who’s that? & she laughs replying “Your mate who you’ve been texting all week” oh fuck. What? He’s told her… I was planning on just omitting that from our conversation if I could. I kind of laugh, I’m not pissed, I think it’s super cute & makes me think that he’s genuine & interested in me, if he’s talking about me to her – again I think if you’ve got mutual friends etc then it’s a bit more risky so you tread carefully, well I do at least. Not that Eastwood did, so maybe I’ve got guys all wrong!

She jokes with me about when he’s moving in (multiple times), which I laugh at of course – but it makes me think what else has he said that she hasn’t told me. She tells me that he told her we have the same jumper & also the same sunnies, that I used my lint roller (WTF?! What a highlight!) & that I basically have been the one messaging …. She tells me that this is what he’s like & she believes me. I tell her I can show her the messages that it was a mutual chat & I tell her that I think he’s hilarious. She continues though, to tell me that he has some major 🚩.

#IBD4U

Concreter & I do continue to chat but it actually stops being as regular as it was. I am not chatting regularly to anyone else at this point, so I do feel a bit of a void here, but I don’t feel like this guy is that into me. He’s liked every post I put up on FB (& still does) despite having over 1000 friends on FB, he even comments on most of the renovation photos, but he makes no attempt to try to arrange to meet me face to face.

Both of our lives a pretty hectic, I agree, mine is off the charts hectic at the moment with August being the biggest month of my year, my little business is moving premises, I am renoing, I have to travel for work & find somewhere for the dogs to go & I am trying to study!

He also tells me that he only broke up with the most recent one 4 weeks ago – not quite what my friend said… & that they tried twice, once the broke up while living together & then they tried again recently while living apart, but he still wants her kids in his life… I have no problems with any of that… I mean it is confronting for me & something I would have to deal with but it’s not a deal breaker, but the thing that does concern me is that he can’t find a couple of hours to meet me for a drink!

He tells me that he has a funeral to go to on Friday. Now at this point it’s gone from daily messaging to missing days, to barely getting a conversation going, no phone calls, but I am not going to be that bitch & not message when he’s been at a funeral. Now remember that he knows my two rules. But I text first & say that I hope that today went as well as it could & that I hope it was a good service or something like that. So he calls me.

He sounds a little tipsy, he’s talking a lot & while it was good for a little bit, he gets a bit arrogant about his business & how much money it makes & how much money it’s worth, I don’t really care, I don’t need his money so I don’t really know what to say beside that he’s obviously done well for himself & he should be proud, because he should.

He then goes on about his ex too, bitching about her like you don’t want to hear a man bitch about a woman he was once involved with. Imagine being that girl one day? I mean I try not to speak too badly of people I’ve dated, I have my moments of course but I definitely don’t do it with someone I’m trying to date. I try to avoid the ex conversation as much as I can.

I figure that we should end this here, because he is tipsy, I can tell & this attitude isn’t bad but it isn’t good & it’s not doing anything for me. So I say that I’m about to go have a shower & go to bed. He says something cheeky about me being naked & him coming over but I brush it off. It’s 9:30 pm on a Friday night, this is not how a I want to meet someone I have mutual friends with & also he has his kids over.

As soon as we’re off the phone, he messages “where u at” I say that I’m at home, he says “hmmm”, I say “hmmm what?” & never get a reply! OMG, men are the most confusing things on the planet! I go have my shower & get into bed & I struggle to fall asleep. I can just imagine he is snoring his head off & I am lying awake stupidly thinking about this scenario. WHY?!

The next morning I get a message at 6:20 am from him saying that his phone went flat & the hmm was meant to mean that he wanted to come over but then he realised that his kids still in iso. Firstly, as if I was going to let him come over anyway. He then sends me a phone number of a electrician. I write back that I’m not interested in casual so I wouldn’t have let him cover over anyway. Again I never hear from him again. In fact that’s the last text we ever send to each other.

It’s my Birthday on the Monday, we haven’t spoken since I said I didn’t want casual hook up that I got no reply too… My friend had assured me that he wasn’t keen on casual either. If you’re friends with someone on Facebook & it’s their birthday, a reminder pops up around 7:00 am to tell you friends that it’s your birthday. I had text Concreter about 7:00 am on the day of his birthday. So anyway my point is, he’s on Facebook all the time, posting or liking posts as they go, so I call bullshit that I don’t get a message – on Facebook messenger at 10:30 pm to say that he just saw it was my birthday & hope I had a good one. I liked it the next day as I had done with every other birthday post & that is where this story ends!

Even now, though it has stopped, he likes & comments on Facebook posts, mainly my renovation pictures, liking every photo in the album. I mean this has gone from this guy sending me a cute video he thought I would like of a dog the same breed as mine with a fish – while it was cute because he took the time to think of me while at the snow, it’s so fucking odd that now I am an after thought… What the fuck could have changed so rapidly? I guess I can justify this away too, he met someone else blah blah blah… I just don’t get why men put in so much effort & then back off. I will never understand it.

Our friend sends me a meme a few weeks after Concreter & I stopped talking (it’s actually the one in this post) & I tell her that’s exactly what happened with her mate & she says she’ll suss it out. I tell her not to bother, while I do want to know what happened, it’s not my thing to put someone in the middle like that, I could just ask but I’m sure I’d get ‘its not you, it’s me’ bullshit!

Another friend told me that he ghosted me because I said I’m not looking for casual, it turned him off because apparently according to her eveything starts off as casual. I agree to a certain extent, but then that’s all I ever get is casual… I’m not saying I want to move in with the guy or see him everyday, but I don’t want to just catch up, fuck & slink home before the kids get up forever…

Anyway this came along when I was least expecting it, I wasn’t looking for anyone & it found me, yet it was the same result as every other fucker in my life. Particularly this year… What the fuck is it about this year?

A few months later, I rememeber while editing this blog that he is a concreter & ask him for a quote for my reno… He sends a chick around who measures up exactly what I asked for, but his quote came in at $30k more than the quote I had at the time… It ended up being $20k more than I am paying too… Other than that, we haven’t talked but he continues to like my FB posts.

#IBD4U

Chatting with a friend one night we decide to go speed-dating. We don’t recall how this came about in the same way. I am going to support her, she seems to want to go. She tells me that she’s going to support me & even tells my other friend that ends up coming with us, that’s why she’s there. Not how I remember it going down, what whatever, we went!

I have been like 6 times before this so this is not something that I really want to do again, it never goes well & I have come to realise that I don’t make a very good first impression. However I agree, regardless of whether she’s going for me or I’m going for her – it doesn’t matter, we book in for the night in a couple of weeks. It’s $60 per ticket, you get two free wines so it’s not a cheap night out considering all that but you know, it could be a bit of fun!

This one is a little bit different to the ones I’ve done before. All the other ones that I’ve done, you get a card & a number on your name tag. You sit down & get a date with everybody in the room, moving from table to table every 5 minutes. Then you get a break in the middle to get the second free drink.

But at this one, you don’t get a dumb name tag, you don’t get to date everyone, You get your first free drink at the start then one at the end – which makes you hang around I guess. It’s all done via an app. So the anti social world we live in gets its day in the sun… You have to hold your phone in your hand, a picture will pop up with the profile of the person you need to find for you date then you can sit anywhere in the pub.

Yes, alright, there aren’t that many people in the pub so it’s not so scary trying to find the dude, most of the people are for the speed dating event. It makes it a bit difficult to want to talk to people in the breaks because you don’t know if you’ll get a date with them or not. This time because you don’t date everyone, you get 10 minutes per date. That’s a long time if they are a dud!

So when we first get there it’s really nice we just sit down &we’ve got our first glass of wine. As I said I went along with three girlfriends. There is a guy with really shiny skin & big white teeth, who makes a b line traight for us & sits down next to me & I couldn’t help but think that he’s like the cutest one out of all of the guys here, which was saying something because he’s not even that cute but he chose to sit next to me to have a conversation, because the conversation went well, I couldn’t actually wait till we got matched & get to have a proper conversation with our 10 minutes speed date.

However the first 4 dates we weren’t matched then there’s a break. I’ve had four dates with guys who couldn’t speak English. I’m not being rude, just factual. I held the conversation & if you knew me in real life, I do dominate most conversations but it’s not good to have to dominate a conversation because the other one can’t talk to you.

So it’s break time, we get a drink & I catch up with the girls to see how they’ve gone. One of my friends has been matched with the guy who came to chat to me. I go over too them but it becomes awkward when they don’t break away or stand up, they sit there on the couch intently talking while I just stand there like a weirdo third wheel.

Back to more dates but because there are more women than men at this event, I ended up with a “friend” date, which meant that I actually only get 7 dates tonight, not 8. The spare date is a woman at the even & I have more fun with her than I do with anyone else that night. Needless to say I don’t get a date with the shiny skin dude. We try to get him to come get food with us but he doesn’t. Another guy with a pointy nose & a Indian fellow come with us. Sitting there talking to them, I question the matching app. The Indian guy & I had a date but he was desperate to have kids, I obviously have on my profile no kids, so why would they have matched us?

Anyway suffice to say, the whole night was a waste of time, I got no matches – don’t even know how the matches work because you rate someone at the end of the mini date but I am able to chat to everyone on the app the next day & also everyone I didn’t date too… It’s so confusing… Who even liked me?!

But here I am yet again, going to another one when they send me a message to say it’s reduced for girls for tonight only. Lucy calls me & says she got the same message & wants to go… URGH, why the fuck do I keep saying that I’ll go? It’s a different place in a different area, no where near where I live so I am apprehensive, but yet I go along anyway.

There are two guys from the previous one here, who say hello… Fuck, will we get a date with them? We walk in & get our free drink & sit down at a table. There is no one here that I am physically attracted too at all, but then in walks a guy that looks a lot like Marvel & I stupidly say, quite loudly he’s alright or something like that I’m pretty sure may have heard me but there isn’t much I can do about it now.

Ping the app tells us that the night has started! I go find my short date & we sit on some random stools in a doorway. The night goes on & they’re all ok, they’re not great, nothing really outstanding for me that it makes me want to have more than 10 minutes with them. I mean one of them, I think, is actually mentally disabled. He spent the entire 10 minutes showing me photos of his weight loss journey – to be honest, his before photo was not much different to the after photo. He wasn’t huge to begin with but I couldn’t tell any difference. He then preched about a healthy lifestyle & how he wanted to be a personal trainer.

There was one date with a guy which went reasonably well until he told me he has three kids & is a widow. Nothing wrong with either of those things right. But when his wife died (I think of cancer) He dumped the three small kids to his parents & he fucked off overseas for THREE years!!! I don’t know why that bothers me so much but those poor kids just lost their mum & their dad. Still living with his parents, he now lives with them too. No problem with his living with his parents, but yeah I take issue with him dumping his kids on someone else.

I kept waiting for a date with the guy who looked like Marvel. It was right after the break when he face came up on my phone. Because the venue is a rabbit warren, I decided to stay put & was hoping I’d see his face pop around the corner with a smile. But he never came & time was ticking so I went to find him, he was at the bar chatting to someone else. When I approached him, he said he had to go to the bathroom, he’ll find me. So like 6 minutes into the 10 minute date he appears at my table, apologises & we talk about our dogs, mainly. He spends more time with Lucy than he did with me & when I try to interrupt their date, he doesn’t get up from her table & neither does she. I stand there awkwardly waiting for them to be done.

I get a message from the guy who left his kids behind & he gives me his number & I decide to message the Marvel guy, not wanting to give up hope. I never get a reply, even though he reads it straight away. There were lots of better looking women than me, skinnier, prettier. Even though I’ve lost a lot of weight, I now seem to still be the fattest person in the room!

So no, I don’t recommend, I do not recommend speed dating at all! I will never go again. Support or not. I am done! But I think you should still do it, if you want to try it. It was a good experience, but I am better once you get to know know me. I don’t think I am good at the first impression.

#IBD4U