Obsidian #12

January 2026 – King of Swords

I wasn’t going to write or post anything following the end of an era post, hence why I ended it the way I ended it. If I was posting in real time, you would’ve had to wait a while for this update… However, because I post months behind, you don’t have to wait… Of course, it’s not an #IBD4U story unless there is a little extra drama, right?! Well stay tuned, because who never know what’s in store!

---

12 January 2026 – So there’s a story, as to why I log onto the web snapchat on my computer but I’ll get to that in another post, but I do, on this day, a few days after Obsidian’s birthday. On the web snapchat, you can copy & paste your conversation into a word document without it saying that you screenshotted or anything, or you can also do a screen record on your phone so the copy of the chat becomes a video – just a little sneaky trick for you all! But anyway, when I log on, the first person & message that pops up is one from Obsidian.

WHAT THE ACTUAL FACTUAL FUCK.

I look at it thinking that it was a glitch or an old message, I deleted him, not blocked but deleted so it can’t be a new message, but when I see that it was sent on 26 December 2025 at 9:24am, my breath catches…WTF! It says, “Just wishing you Merry Christmas ans happy new year x” OMFG. My heart starts pounding, I quickly take a photo of my screen to make sure it is real & in case something happens & it disappears off snapchat while I am sitting here with my mouth wide open thinking ‘he fucking messaged me!’ I never thought he would message me after all this time… I had deleted him just before Christmas because I didn’t want to be thinking about him on Christmas day & waiting for him to message me… He would know he was deleted as my name would have an X next to it. But… FUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKK!!!! I want to cry, I fucking miss him so much, I never stop thinking about him, that I sit there staring at it for so long unable to shut down my snapchat because it’s the last thing I have from him, as I’ve deleted & thrown away everything I had. This message was almost three weeks ago now but I’m only just seeing it… I breathe heavily & I feel emotion swelling in my face, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck!

I think about what to write back, do I bother after three weeks? I thought about him all day on his birthday, I didn’t message because he hadn’t messaged me in weeks or tried to prove he did want me in his life, he just pushed me away & let me walk, let me feel unloved… But he had fucking messaged. Do I do my usual shit, overexplain & apologise for missing it… I don’t know why, but I look at the date on a calendar – it was the 26 December when he sent it, so it’s obviously boxing day, a public holiday, so he is off, she’d be off, the kids are home – days that he had stopped messaging me on, because he couldn’t be on his phone, which fucks me off that this day he apparently can… But guess what fucking day of the week it is… A fucking goddamn Friday! All of my sadness dissipates so rapidly my head spins… I know it’s a public holiday, everyone is home, so why the fuck is he online since that was such a no go zone towards the end?! Why the fuck did he have to reach out like that on a fucking Friday!!! The main day that it’s literally impossible for him to message & he chooses a Friday to let me know he’s thinking of me… FUCK YOU!

The thing that really fucks with my head the most, is the fact that I actually picked up my computer on the 26 December 2025 & I wrote a little bit of blog entry on that fucking day… I saw his little green dot on his account, I thought about him – half hoping for a gift but also knowing I would get nothing from him. But maybe I felt that he had written to me? I don’t know… Just odd that I picked up my computer that day but never saw his message…

I saw a psychic that my friend recommended on 27 November 2025, she records the session & sends to you, so I downloaded the transcript. But honestly, I didn’t resonate with her that much – she kept talking about me freezing my eggs & there was just a vibe that I never listened to it again. She did say that I was a police officer in my previous life who didn’t have kids because I was so focused on my career, so regimented & ordered that in this life she hopes I’ve had the kids and the chaos, but I tell her that I haven’t so she tells me there is still time… Um, no love at almost 45 there isn’t time. Gynologically speaking, I probably never would have been able to have kids anyway, for info I recently found out so she gets that very wrong. Other things she says is about how big 2026 will be… I am going to move interstate or renovate or buy a new house – she says that I’m not settled. She also sees two overseas trips & my car dies in September, so I get a new one… Ok, when did I start crapping money?! But there are some things that resonate, here’s a snippet of the  transcript from the reading, she said,

“January, I’ve got this King of Swords, this narcissistic, gaslighting, hot & cold personality. & I don’t know who he is to you, but I worry that he might try & to contact you & have a not too good influence on you. Put it that way, you know. So again, sometimes when you go through a breakup & you can have break up sex or you can have breakup makeup & it usually ends up more toxic to be honest, you know. But again, if you moved away, you’d be able to reset your life. But you may not make that decision as soon as December. But in January, you may get word from this King of Swords. & that is where I’m starting to see you change your mindset and making decisions.”

Is this the word I am going to get from him? Finding the message from late December?! Or will I still hear from him again?! All I know, I don’t write back…. He won’t try again because I didn’t respond, so I know that this is the end, if you love someone you should set them free…

You Me At Six – Fireworks

So this is the end of you and me
We had a good run and I’m setting you free
To do as you want, to do as you please
Without me

Remember when you were my boat
And I was your sea
Together we’d float so delicately

But that was back when we could talk about anything
Cause I don’t know who I am
When you’re running circles in my head
And I don’t know just who you are

When you’re sleeping in someone else’s bed
Three whole words and eight letters late
And that would have worked on me yesterday
We’re not the same, I wish that could change

But it can’t
And I’ll say your name and in the same breath
I’ll say something that I’ll grow to regret
So keep your hands on your chest and sing with me

That we don’t wanna believe
Cause I don’t know who I am
When you’re running circles in my head
And I don’t know just who you are

When you’re sleeping in someone else’s bed
So it’s true what they say
If you love someone, you should set them free
Oh, it’s true what they say

You went and threw it away
I don’t know who you are
And I don’t know who you are, and oh
Cause I don’t know who you are
When you sleep with somebody else
Cause I don’t know who I am
When you’re sleeping with him
It’s true what they say
You went and threw it away

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Matt Barnes / Chris Miller / Max Helyer / Josh Franceschi / Dan Flint

Fireworks lyrics © Emi Music Publishing Ltd

#IBD4U