Announcement!

As promised on my FB page, I have an announcement or news… Whichever way you want to look at it. I don’t know if you’ll be happy or agree with me… But it’s happening! So I thought a good place to post this news is on the blog so eveyone knows not just my FB followers. Also what better day to make an announcement but on Friday 13th!

So what could I have to announce? That I’m in a relationship? That I’m in love again? That I’m pregnant? That I’ve jumped the fence & dating women? Well all of that you’ll have to keep reading each week to find out… Hahaha. I wouldn’t ruin my blog like that for you all by sharing my dating status before we get there…

So let me preface this by saying I have recently just had a big birthday… In fact I’ve just changed decades. The last decade change scared me, but this one I am oddly calm & ok about. But as you all may know if you read this regularly that one of my tag lines of this blog is that I am a “30 something woman, trying to find love in Adelaide.” well I can’t say 30 something anymore…

As you know, the blog is a year behind, so I can & will continue to write about my 30’s & what I get up too, but this blog will come to an end once I hit my 40th birthday (in the writing timeline), whenever that may be.

I cannot confirm nor deny if I am single or in a relationship at this time – this is a real time post. But I will say this: you will get some closure & loose ends will be tied up before I end it. My final blog post has already been written, I’m just now drafting & writing the events in between where we’re up too & today. I’m not saying I won’t revisit from time to time but I am not going to focus on this anymore. All good things must come to an end at some point.

So you’re not rid of me just yet & I’ll explain more as we get towards the end. I don’t know exactly when that is, but it won’t be long…

Stick around for the final chapters of I’ve been dating for you & see if I finally get to say those words to someone or if there’s a different ending for me.

I’m excited to share eveything this covid year has brought to me…

How would you like it to end?

#IBD4U

Screenshots #3

So here an another blog of screenshots. I have done one for a while. So here they are some older than others but still valid & worth a read.

I’m still unsure why some men do what they do, but I am glad they did so you can all have a laugh with me.

If you’re considering leaving your partner, this is what you’ve got to look forward too! Bahahaha…

Motocross Brother

Welcome to post 400! FUCK! Post 400…

I can’t believe i have posted 400 times, maybe not all my work being that I share guest posts & sometimes articles, but I have posted 400 times! I am so proud of what I have done sometimes, especially with so much going on in my life, this is a great achievement!

So this is again skipping a little ahead but I think we need to finish off this story & doesn’t give anything away. Plus this is an easy story to write but was going to wait a bit longer to give you the update. I am just laughing at this point about Motocross though. After Sunday’s blog, a lot of you say to message Motocross to see where my parcel is, but I haven’t – yet. Maybe I will.

However, do you remember when I did a survey in January on Facebook asking:If you dated a guy you really liked, who turned out to be an unconfirmed liar & then his brother liked your online dating profile, would you add the brother even though you’re not interested in him?!” The choices were : Hell yes – Find out the info or Back the fuck away. I was torn on what to do to be honest, so I left it up to you, I was going to do whatever my readers wanted me to do. But it was so fucking surprising to me, that 51% of the 84 of you that voted said to back the fuck away and followed closely behind was 49% of you saying yes…Also even more surprisingly I was disappointed that the majority said not to message because I was intrigued by Motocross & really wanted to find out some answers here. So I ignored the 51% of you & listened to the 49%. SORRY! But it gives you another blog post & hopefully some answers on Motocross! Lets find out…

screenshot_20200803-202305_pages manager265945845146261694..jpg

So you obviously know who this story is going to be about with that intro, but let’s talk about how this all went down. Sporadically I am online dating, not often but I do have an app on my phone most of the time in my life, if I’m really honest. Regardless of who or what I am dating, I am pretty much always on an app until I am exclusive with someone – which lets face it, is never. Hahaha.

Anyway this guy with the name the psychic told me I would meet & be with, adds me & he’s familiar but it takes a while for me to realise that it’s Motocross brother. He has motorbike pictures & doesn’t look at all like Motocross, he’s a bit fatter a lot older looking & generally not my type. Before I add him back, I resort to my blog facebook page & put out that poll, if I should add him or not, but then I ignore it & add this poor unsuspecting guy then start chatting to him. Although, I never thought till now that this is also might have been a game for him too, maybe Motocross & him are sitting there having a good laugh thinking about the fact that I am so dumb perhaps?!

Straight away he’s very different to chat too compare to the chat I had with Motocross initially. MC’s Bro asks how my day is going – using my name, I tell him that I’m back to the daily grind of 9:00 am – 5:00 pm. He says that he’s doing 7:00 am – 4:30 pm then he says that he would love to enjoy a drink with me & asks if I’m on Facebook – Jeez, like it’s the third message dude! He’s really going for it, which now makes me think this was a game with him, or perhaps maybe that just how he is? Who knows…

He’s also in a weird place that I’ve never heard of before – Turvey Park, which he says is in NSW. So that’s at least something Motocross told me that was correct, though didn’t he say Wagga Wagga? Are they even close?! I have no idea.He also keeps calling me hun & it starts to irk me at the end of every single message, when I say how would we drink in different states, he says that he’s home at the moment (saying the suburb) hun. OMG. So he lives in Adelaide? Or NSW? I ask if he is fly in fly out, but he says “no drive in, drive out hun”. Well this is a great way to find out what type of car he drives, if Motocross really did buy him a brand new $90k Holden for his 38th birthday… I tell him that the hun thing is too much & so he starts using my name instead – also too much! Why do people do that?

I decide to just jump straight to it, tell this guy I know who he is “I actually dated a guy who apparently was a crusty demon who lived around here… Bou might know him since you’re into bikes too…? I kinda thinking you might know him…” He asks his name but I don’t tell him, but I ask if this guy knows anyone who rides professionally & he says he knows a few guys who ride but when I ask if he knows guys that do show jumping etc, he says that he doesn’t know people who do that! Either he’s lying to protect his brother or he’s brother was the liar… I’m not sure this is helping to be honest.I say that if he drives back & forth from NSW all the time that he must have a nice car & love driving – probing the car thing. I also ask what he drives & he says a some Nissan thing (which my friend & I saw when we drove past their parents’ house) so definitely not a $90k brand new holden!

I think this has gone too far so I spill the beans “So I think I’ve worked out where I know you from & if I’m right I dated your brother for a few months last year… I only caught him out in one lie (you’ve just confirmed another) but pretty sure everything he said was a lie… I really liked him so don’t think we’d work out TBH…” I send a sad face – but I wasn’t really interested in this guy ever but don’t want him to feel bad & he writes back his brothers name, I say yes & that I knew his name was familiar. He says “Ok well the best. Enjoy your life.” I still want to write to this guy, so I say “Yeah you too & make sure you give him shit about trying to make me believe he is a crusty demon & professional bike rider hahaha.” I never hear back from Motocross’ Brother after that. But assuming he never said anything to Motocross being that Motocross is still following me on Snapchat. Why doesn’t he just delete me?? I refuse to delete him because that’s just what I do, but seriously it’s starting to be hilarious. Stay tuned, who knows what might happen with Motocross, however, it’s over with his brother!

#IBD4U

Guest Blog: Toxic Love & The Road to Recovery

This guest blogger is one of my favourites. She has her own blog “Diary of a She-Wolf.” She doesn’t write as regularly as I do – which probably is wise because the writers block is still rearing it’s ugly head for me, I know you’re all keen on the story I have to tell, but below in someone else words & experience, is what I have felt too in the past. It’s almost like she took the words in my head & put them on paper. She is a real writer, not just me who writes a diary & posts 3 times a week, she has a great literary talent that I wish I had!

guest blog heal if not hurt

Enjoy

 

Guest Blog: Toxic Love & The Road to Recovery

After TOTGA, I haven’t been ok. At all.

He broke me in a way that I’m not accustomed to.

I’ve been beaten. Raped. Emotionally attacked. Mentally destroyed. Financially fucked over…. and now, finally- my spirit has been crushed.

Over the years of stories I’ve shared with you, this is the love that has damaged me the most.

The absence of it crashed down on me, seemingly breaking every bone in my body; piercing my skin, tearing flesh and leaving me battered and broken. My mind was a storm of emotion that was so intense I couldn’t distinguish one feeling from another. I felt like my heart had been dragged from my chest and the wound left open; a cavernous, Black, whooshing hole that nothing could escape from.

Worst of all- I could feel the light inside me dying.

When it all ended, and I moved away, the candle in the coal mine that kept me going- the flicker of light and hope inside me was not my hope that I could save myself again…. It was the hope that HE would save me: from the scores of men lurking in my future that will do me harm somehow. Just like always, he would save me from the monsters from without, and within.

The moment I realised he wasn’t coming for me, that light was almost snuffed- by my own hand, no less. In hindsight, it seems so strange to me that after everything I have faced to date, that this one heartbreak (half a lifetime in the making) would be the thing that finished me.

I stood at the edge of the cliff and was ready to jump. More ready than I’ve ever been in my life. I took the deep breath in to steady myself and… my phone pinged. Some notification or other. That ping saved my life.

In that split second I realised – with more clarity than I’ve felt in a long time – that somewhere deep within me, I still had a spark of life that still held on. It was faint, but with some care and kindling, it could become a flame once more.

Admitting this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It’s a moment in my life that I’m not proud of. I was weak. Broken. Hurt. Dead inside. Seemingly irreparable.

My lesson from this love is that to be free of the hurt it causes you- you have to pull it out by the roots. Pack up the photos and mementos. Set fire to the house where love once lived. Pack it away until it doesn’t hurt you any more. It becomes just another piece of the mosaic of your life- the sum and total of everything you have been up until this point. A part of the background. Just another story.

He will always be a part of me, but it’s up to me to work every day to make him a part that I don’t need in order to feel whole. I get to decide what part he plays in my narrative.

He is rewriting our story now. Each chapter being amended to include the one that’s easier to love. That’s less complicated. That’s better than me. Seeing each edit has been an accumulative injury- like a wound that keeps opening just as you think you’re finally healing.

It still makes me wince. If it didn’t hurt, I wouldn’t be human. I’m more in control of how that hurt affects me now. I won’t let it put my fire out. It’s never easy to see someone you thought you’d grow old and grey with writing you out of their narrative, but life has a way of doing that.

I’m finally ready to close this chapter. I have loose ends to tie up, but once they are done, I can finally begin to write a new story.

For the first time in a long time. I feel hopeful. Optimistic. Unshackled from the past… and maybe- just, maybe- I might finally be free.

Here is the link to her blog! https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/90834386/posts/2582191091

#IBD4U

Spotify

A while ago, I said I was going to make a Spotify play list for heartbreak & the songs that make me feel powerful. I have been working on this a while & with a writers block preventing me from writing – I don’t know if this is because stuff I have going on in my life right now, or the story that’s coming, but I am struggling to write for my blog at the moment… Writers block is eminent!

So this is a lame cop out of a blog post! Hahaha… SORRY.

I’ve had writers block before, but usually I can push through it, however, at the moment, I have a lot of things going on personally at the moment, that aren’t putting me in a good frame of mind. These issues in my life are 100% not related to dating, so don’t get excited for juicy posts coming up. Things that happened in 2019 are catching up with me in more ways than one, but again like I said it’s not about dating so I won’t bore you with the details, but it’s making it hard to write about anything – something I love doing, along with other hobbies that have been taken away from me recently, which express my creative side… It’s hard to be positive on here sometimes.

Spotify 2019 destroyed us a little

So anyway this blog is about the playlists that I was creating a while ago on Spotify. I hope you enjoy them. There are 4 on the #IBD4U account.

  • 💔 – brokenhearted songs
  • ♥ – love songs
  • 💪- strong recovery songs.
  • 📻 – Podcast (the only one that I was on & the hopes that my own podcast will get off the ground one of these days!)

These songs I’ve added obviously mean something to my story for me & have mostly featured in my story, so I hope they take you back to the place in the blog where they featured!

I have made them collaborative, so you can (hopefully) add songs to it too… I’d love to hear what you add.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2DylrroylukVDl5AeMD7Ai?si=trN74nqFTDauRI9U1RrmVQ

Sorry again for a lame post today, but I have been meaning to share these, there were going to be on a non blog post day but I hope that I have a proper post for you on Friday!

In the mean time, enjoy listening!

What do you think?!

#IBD4U

My Musings

So here’s what’s up:

For those of you that follow the blog on Facebook & saw a reader comment repeatedly calling me a ‘slut’, a ‘home wrecker’ & I believe that everyone who commented were labelled ‘spastic sluts’ also, then as any keyboard warrior does, it was deleted – not by me, while I don’t condone this kind of hate speech directed as someone personally, I believe everyone has a right to an opinion & so I won’t delete or block someone from having a difference of opinion to me.

However, I think it’s a timely reminder that THIS IS MY DIARY. I am not forcing you to read, I am not writing to get advice or be told how to live my life or how shit I am or what I’ve done is wrong. You may have an opinion on what I write – I know I have opinions on other blogs I read, on my choices on what I do, you often have advice for me (even though we’re still reading about 2019 – I thank you for your advice), you all engage in the story & I love that! My favourite part of my readers, is when there is an online troll, you all jump to my defence, sometimes before I even see the comments. Thank you for that.

I am not perfect.

I make mistakes.

I am not proud of some of the things I have done.

Would I change it if I could? Perhaps.

But I don’t regret my decisions.

I have read a lot over the years from other blogs, articles etc, which all have an opinion on cheaters – some good, some bad, most say don’t blame the mistress, blame the person you are in a committed relationship with – regardless if you chose to stay or not, they are the ones you need to make things right with. I get you can hate her or him, they did make a decision to fuck your partner too but they aren’t the one who did wrong by you, they aren’t committed to you.

I watched as a 20 year old, my parents go through infidelity, I never found out how long the affair was with my mums best friend, but I don’t think it was long. I don’t know if there were feelings involved, but I know my parents went to counselling to get through it, so I know that marriages can survive infidelity. I’ve never said that every marriage is doomed after someone cheats.

My musings she is me

I have never denied that Silverlining & his partner couldn’t work though his infidelity & come out the other side stronger – I sort of hoped for that because then he wouldn’t be online ever again & maybe I would have been able to move on. But how can you come out the other side, or get over infidelity when either party aren’t willing to work on it? Lets take his partner for example, bringing me up daily, never letting him forget me. Does that sound like forgiveness? She knows he was in love with me – that he broke my heart via her stalking my Facebook, I believe that she knew the affair was over a year long too. Personally, I would never want to bring up the mistress if my partner ever cheated on me & I chose to stay, especially if I knew that he loved her. I would want him to forget her & his feelings for her but bring her up daily would remind him that he’s not with her & that I’m not over it either – I’m still punishing him in a way. If there were multiple women, with no feeling, I think that would be easier to get over, he would honestly be able to say to me that it meant nothing. I discuss this in my blog Cheat vs Affair. Lets take Silverlining for example – yes many of you say that he’d do the same to me if we were together, however if he was really committed to her, he never would have looked online for gratification that he craves. Regardless of what we think if it’s right or wrong, so many men & women do this daily, find people to chat too online, perhaps meet to fill a void they have with their relationship.

I am not an expert in relationships. I do not even pretend to know what I am doing in my own life to be really honest with you. But I do believe that happy people, in love with their partner, truly committed to their partner would never cheat on them. Use all the excuses in the world, but I don’t believe if you are happy & committed, that you’d be willing to risk all that for a bit of side sex… I don’t know, like I said I’m no expert & happy to hear your opinions, have you cheated? Why did you cheat? Were you looking for something else? Were you trying to fill a void? What does that void mean? Have you been cheated on? Did you get the apology vomit from your partner? Did you stay with them or did you walk?

But just wanted to say, again. I am not perfect. You’re just reading one side of the story, one side of a very big story. There are multiple people involved here, you hear one side. My rose coloured glasses side.

But if my story upsets you, don’t read it. It has triggers. So stop reading. I promise you if you’re hating it, just stop reading!

#IBD4U

Guest Blog : Rooster

This is a blog post from someone who has guest blogged with me before… I love this story! Enjoy.

Rooster

So… it’s been a while, but you may or may not remember the last encounter I wrote about was with a charmer named Ryan. Believe it or not after the debacle that was Ryan I was still keen to try to find a regular friend with benefits. A week or so after seeing Ryan I thought I should message him to be polite, I messaged him and said that I hoped he hadn’t thought I had been rude, I had just been really busy. He messaged back to tell me that he had met someone (in 8 days – when not looking for a serious relationship – wow!) I wished him all the best and tried to put him to the back of my mind.
I was swiping through Tinder again later that week when an intro caught my eye. The guys profile pic was of a tractor (lesson learnt since) but the intro said that he was a genuine guy, looking for a friend for fun and if you liked being pampered he was your guy and you could lay back and relax.


A match was made and over the next week or two there was a lot of chatting. When I asked the guy why he did not have his photo as his profile pic he explained that he was trying to keep a low profile. When I asked for a picture (he had seen my face and body shape after all) he replied with one and quickly after asked if I was still going to chat to him. I replied of course (he wasn’t unattractive I didn’t think) but he seemed to think that women once they saw him had changed their minds in the past. We had quite a lot of chat happening on Tinder and then it moved to Snapchat. I HATE snapchat as a chatting medium, I hate that messages disappear, and you cannot see the message history of what has been sent. We chatted for a while and things started to get interesting. He lived over an hour from me so meeting wasn’t as simple as I would have liked. A date to meet up was made. The meeting was set for the Sunday after my 40th birthday, during the party I was chatting and my girlfriends were in stitches at my story and could not believe it was going to happen. Neither could I, I had high hopes for this hook up becoming a regular thing. The afternoon of the meeting I had a gut feeling…


Bam, there it was, a snap chat message telling me that his adult son had broken his car and needed it fixed so he could get to work the next day. Rooster needed to help him fix it so he could not come visit that day. I felt he was genuinely sorry – he certainly sounded like he was in the message he sent. Later that afternoon I sent him a video of me using a toy (why do I give guys my time and energy who don’t give theirs to me???) and his response after he saw it was “I’m going to punch my son in the mouth” which had me laughing.
We kept trying to make a date to catch up, but he worked in a mine and was 4 days on 4 days off which made it hard for him. I also have children at home so we were juggling my weekends that were free. One night while I was cooking tea my snap chat notification came on. It was him, he was stark naked at a lookout on the way to work and had stopped and taken a full frontal selfie on the lookout and sent to me. He must have set the phone up, stripped, set a timer and then went and posed. It had me laughing for days
The chat continued, mostly sexual and then another date was set. This was one was on a weekday and the anticipation had been building. I got a message around an hour before were due to meet, him telling me he was on his way. I arrived home from work to find him waiting at the front of the house – he followed me in and I told him I was nervous, he grabbed my hand and kissed me and then we made our way to my bedroom.

guest blog rooster


The foreplay was good, he went down on me which is something he had alluded to in his tinder profile. He was another one that didn’t even think to use a condom. We were playing with each other and next thing he was on top of me. I asked him if he was worried I would fall pregnant (after all he didn’t know me well), he told me he had a vasectomy so he wasn’t concerned. We fucked twice and then to my disappointment he was getting up and ready to leave. When we had been chatting I am sure he had told me he had more time but he wanted out of there!
We kept chatting via snap chat for a little while longer, the messages were getting further and further apart. We had spoken when we were together about not fucking anyone else – I just wanted one friends with benefits to rely on – that’s it. When he had asked me the usual “What are you looking for” that’s what I had told him too. One day I got a notification on my tinder (I had hidden my profile as per our agreement) and I was very annoyed to find a notification that he had changed his tinder profile picture.


I decided he was dead to me and I was moving on. It was good sex, I just wish he had been honest, maybe I wouldn’t have fucked him just once but at least I would have gone in with eyes open. This all happened in December 2018, then during the Coronavirus pandemic in April 2020 I was working from home with kids at home. I was working in the front room and heard a truck pull up, I live on a busy main road so I paid it no heed. Next thing there was a knock on the door, I let my children answer the door and I heard “Is ***** here?” I came around the corner to find Rooster standing there. To say I was shocked was an understatement. This guy fucks me, disappears and then just calls in 16 months later??? We stood there very awkwardly smiling at each other, he explained that he had been driving past and thought he would stop and say Hi. I told him I thought he had been dodgy disappearing like that – he told me he lost his phone, snapchat everything…. I’m thinking yeah dude, that old chestnut… As my sister pointed out – he knew where I lived so he could have found me if he wanted to!

This is literally something that would happen to me. I am so happy about this post, not that it happened to one of my readers but that it’s so similar, that I know I am not alone!

#IBD4U

The Love Of Your Life Only Comes After The Mistake Of Your Life.

A friend shared this article on their FB page a while ago, while it’s not technically a blog nor a story about dating, it really hit home for me after the whole Noodle debacle & I really have to agree.

I hope that after Noodle, I can have the love I deserve!

The Love Of Your Life Only Comes After The Mistake Of Your Life.

“Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate.” ~ Carrie Bradshaw

Perhaps we need to be broken first before we can finally become whole.

Painful love is the worst kind of heartbreak. It’s the one we had such high hopes for, the one we gambled everything for—only to find it was a bet that would never be won.

So we break into a million small pieces of ourselves and wonder how we could have gotten it so wrong.

We make mistakes in love.

We choose people based on the lessons that our souls need to learn without realizing that it’s usually those difficult lessons we need to experience the most.

We can’t be changed by ease and we can’t have our minds broken open by the mundane—instead it can only happen when we are left with nothing but ourselves and our regrets.

Maybe there is no such thing as a mistake if we indeed needed it to learn more about who we are and how we love, but still there are those loves we wish we could rewind and just take back. The ones whose endings were too painful for us to want to permanently claim as part of our history.

But no matter how much we wished that this love was something other than what it was, it will never change the reality that the only reason we needed this love in our lives was to break our hearts.

The thing is, we need that big mistake to help propel us toward the love of our life.

We need to be broken in order to find out how we want to put ourselves back together.

Often times the biggest mistake of our lives is a relationship that we should have walked away from the minute it began—or at the very least should have let go of long before we actually did, and way before it all went downhill.

But we didn’t, and it’s not because that love was meant to be, but because without it we might never have realized what love truly is.

We always have the choice to stay in a relationship that is a constant battle of wills and ideals. Yet, no matter how many times we hope it will end differently, or just maybe work this time around—it never does.

This is because it’s not meant to.

Our mistake is meant to end, usually bitterly, and often catastrophically. Its purpose is to rock us to our core and challenge our very self and our beliefs about love.the mistake only comes after the love of your life.pngWe are meant to question what went wrong, and to wonder what love really means to us. This isn’t an overnight process , but one that we need to take the time to immerse ourselves in until we no longer hide from the truth that our hearts whisper.

It’s a state of healing that lets us know that we can send someone our love, but we can also walk away with our heads high and our faith strong knowing that we haven’t messed up the best thing we ever had.

Because the love of our life is out there waiting for us and when we meet there will be no question about why we needed to have our hearts broken in the way we did.

There won’t be battles to conquer, or qualities to be changed. There won’t be unfulfilled needs, or drama around every corner. In reality, this love is going to show us why none of our previous relationships worked out.

Because all along they were only leading us to this—the person who was created just for us, and somehow through the meandering paths that life takes, ended up not being perfect, but still being perfect for us.

Our worst mistake and our deepest heartbreak is only meant to help lead us to the love of our life—because without it, we might never know what that actually looks like.

The love of our life only comes when we are ready for it. When we have broken apart who we thought we should be and instead embraced who we are. This love only appears when we have gained the ability to believe that we deserve what we want.

The love of our life won’t look or feel like anything we’ve ever experienced. It might come softly, or it might even enter as a wrecking ball. It may come dressed as friendship, or perhaps something so hot we thought for sure we would get burned. But, because of that great mistake we are not the same people we once were, so we will approach love differently as well.

We will look for the peace instead of the intensity of the storm.

We will allow ourselves to gaze past the superficial and instead appreciate the energy that this person brings into our lives, reveling in the new-found depths of connection that we are experiencing.

Slowly we will realize that it’s not necessarily who someone is, but rather what type of person they bring out in us that determines whether it’s a once-in-a-lifetime kind of love.

With time, an understanding develops that love should not only feel like it adds value to our lives, but it should also help us become the best possible version of ourselves.

Only a great love can raise us to greatness.

And that’s the thing about the love of our life—it may not end up being who we thought it was, and it may still not come without challenges, but there is just something about it that makes us want to be better.

It’s a love that inspires us, and shows us that perhaps we aren’t scared at all, and that just maybe we haven’t screwed up as badly as we thought we had.

Because finally we realize that our “great mistake” was really a north star all along, leading us to the love of our life.

“Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us.” ~ curiano.com

Author: Kate Rose
Editor: Nicole Cameron
(Source: https://www.elephantjournal.com/2016/11/the-love-of-your-life-only-comes-after-the-mistake-of-your-life/?fbclid=IwAR0KEcBIHZHLfPsOPHLee2h9tZ_oq8isYruQdcDWui5nMmCttiETNT2lQvo)

I can only hope that there is something better out there for me!

Please universe send me something good!

#IBD4U

Dom Dom #2

So this guy… Dom Dom – Well he comes & goes over the year I am with Noodle. This is a bit of a flashback blog post – Remember when I said there was a guy I went for a coffee with & I couldn’t remember who it was? It was actually Dom Dom, which is great that I had written this because otherwise we may never know what happened at that “coffee” date. However, I probably should’ve posted this before. So we’re flashing back right now to that coffee date. But also we flash forward too because it’s not long enough for a whole post on its own… Stick with me, it’ll make sense.

I never give Dom Dom too much of my time because of the way he treats me… Always on his terms, always when he’s free – he literally only messages every few days & then disappears… I’ve just spent a year with a guy I fell in love with doing the same, I mean, do I want to get sucked into that with this guy again? We talk a lot & sometimes have sort of phone sex or send pictures, not as much as I used to being that I am with Noodle & I really don’t want to jeopardise that.

However one day when I am on holidays, Noodle is also on holidays but playing his game of I’m not chatting for hours on end, that Dom Dom is messaging & says that he’s finished work that I should give him my address & he’ll come over. I tell him that I am not in the mood to see him, which is true & I am in gym gear, sweaty from the gym but he keeps persisting. He says that we won’t do anything (yeah right!) but he wants to meet me… I am so pissed off with Noodle right now that I am typing out my address before I can stop myself. Dom Dom says he’s on his way, he’ll be 40 minutes. I consider having a shower but I think fuck it, this guy can meet me as I am. I need to see other people, I’ve told Noodle at this point that I am seeing other people. So fuck him.

I see Dom pull up & he has the same car as Noodle, FUCK. It scares me a bit, I think it is Noodle. A similar height guy gets out the car but he’s fairer than Noodle, so my heart stops pounding so hard when I realise it’s not Noodle but I still have to do a double take because they have a similar build, Dom Dom is probably a bit bigger than Noodle, but they are basically the same height, I can’t help but think, Fuck I really do have a type!

He looks smart in his trousers & shirt with a jacket, a bit formal I think but he has just come from work – it’s a suit & he looks good. I think I fucking should’ve showered. I’ve probably been talking to this guy on & off for 2+ years at this point & this is the first time we’re meeting face to face & I look like shit when he looks good!? FUCK… He knocks on the door leaning on the bricks with his hands in his pockets & I feel teeny tiny with him. He may even be a little taller than Noodle, he comes inside & we sit on the couch, I offer him a drink.

We talk about bullshit & mostly guys I’m fucking. He’s always keen to hear my stories about who I’m fucking & likes the details. This guy has seen me naked via video chat like a hundred times, but I’ve never felt more vulnerable than I do with him right now. I know I would want to fuck this guy – he has some weird pull on me too, not quite th same as Noodle, no one has a pull on me like Noodle does. I know Dom Dom wants to fuck me, that’s a given, why else would he drive 40 minutes to see me? Is it just married men that have that pull on me or is it their dominance & stature that draw me in? I mean Noodle is like my Edward Cullen from Twilight but Dom Dom is like my Jacob Black… I am stupidly addicted to both in very different ways, one more than the other, but fuck, I never thought of it like that before! Hahaha… (Yeah I love twilight btw!)

Dom Dom asks me to show him my toys, I know this isn’t a good idea but we go into my bedroom, I sit on the edge of the bed & open the draw of my bedside table to show him what’s in there. There are a lot of vibes & lotions, some other toys… He starts rubbing himself & I think fuck, I do want to do something with this guy but Noodle is in my head. I want this to be Noodle standing in front of me. I hate that. I feel sorry for him that Noodle is on my mind. But he doesn’t seem to notice; he unzips his fly & pulls out his cock. Obviously I’m very familiar with it over video chat, but in real life, at the height he is, right now, he’s basically at the perfect sucking height right now… I do think maybe I should suck it, that’s not that bad, is it? But I don’t. I don’t know how I restrain myself but I do. I don’t even touch it… I want too but I am now 100% loyal to Noodle, even though he’s treating me like an option right now & I said I would see other people, I don’t want to fuck things up. I know how jealous Noodle gets.

So fast forward a little to a few weeks after it ended with Noodle, Dom Dom & I talk on & off but we kind of back off a lot. I am totally still in love with Noodle & things are a bit better. But when that all comes crumbling down around me about Noodle & I know the things I know about Noodle & his partner, I need sex with someone else… I was waiting to fuck other people because I always thought Noodle would come back to me, but fuck it, I need to move on to stop picturing Noodle when I make myself cum – which hasn’t been that often either. FUCK. I’m actually also chatting to a guy from the anonymous app who is coming over tonight – a guy who you’ll read about soon (Crows), but when Crows tells me he’s not entirely single I think FFS, so he’s not going to be the distraction I need, so when Dom Dom says he’s home & that I should come over, I reluctantly agree…

Rob Rob Cheating mistakes.png

I rock up at his house, wearing some sexy lingerie & a dress, I know he will appreciate what I look like… When he opens the door, I forgot how tall he is, I feel like an actual midget, even though I am in heels too. We walk in the door & he’s kissing me right away, this is the first man to kiss me since Noodle. It feels weird, but at least he’s a good kisser, he pushes me into a room which I am hoping it’s not their bedroom, I can’t really tell but there are clothes in the wardrobe & it does seem like a woman lives here – He tells me later it’s their spare room. I can’t believe that I am fucking another married guy, did I not learn my lesson? I mean there is no way I could fall for Dom Dom, he has kept the boundaries, I mean I don’t even think he knows my real name! (even to this day I don’t think he knows!)

He lifts my dress off over my head & then I am standing in my wedges & lingerie feeling anything but sexy. He looks at me with reassurance, pushing me to my knees to suck his cock, which I do & he calls me a good girl. I cringe because I used to hate it when a guy would call me that, but Dom Dom actually got me used to it in the beginning & within a few months with Noodle, he made me love it. I cringe because it’s the first time I’ve heard it since Noodle & it’s not from Noodle. Weirdly these 2 guys have a similar cock & he fits in my mouth, I like sucking a mans dick, so I enjoy him forcing himself in my mouth. He gets naked & pushes me on the bed, I lay there wondering if I can go through with this, but I look at him & realise I do want it. I just weirdly feel like I am cheating on Noodle with this guy. However, I must remember it is now over with Noodle, he is having crazy hot sexy with his partner that he used to have with me. I am clearly just a distant memory to the man I am so deeply in love with.

I obviously have to bring a condom with me, which is ok because clearly he won’t have any & mine are latex free ones, I prefer to use anyway… He fucks me for a while with him on top before we switch it up & I’m on top of him, riding his cock & rubbing my clit I actually cum while riding him – which surprises me, I didn’t think I would be able to cum with him but I do…. He tells me that he’s never cum with a condom on ever… Really ever? Surely not… But I mean that was pretty hot sex, of course he was going to cum. I mean, nothing compares to the sex I had with Noodle, but at least it was good!

Dom Dom & I don’t really talk much for a while & I never catch up with him again. He does his disappearing act as usual for weeks on end, I refuse to message him first as my usual thing. But then when he comes back online, he tells me that he & his wife have started swinging, that she fucked someone else! WTF dude! I really hate that I seem to just always be a fluffer for these men! I don’t know why this hurts me so much, but I feel like shit when he tells me. Again we stop talking for weeks maybe months. I am still reeling about Noodle, but now this woman is giving her partner what he wants, so I am no longer needed, even as a friend… I feel so used TBH. I am redundant with my own sex life!?

#IBD4U

What The Fuck Is There To Do In Adelaide?

I refuse to believe that there is nothing to do in my little “country” city of Adelaide. With approx 1.3 million people living in this city, I am in disbelief that pretty much all my dates I been on, have been:

  • A drink at a pub
  • A coffee date
  • Dinner & a movie
  • Netflix & chill

I think this is lame as fuck for Adelaide & me. Surely there is more to do, something fun, something exciting that also shows my fun side. Remember my friend telling me to show my fun side way back in the first blog Pilot?!

This blog came about because I dated a guy who’s favourtie thing was playing mini golf – it was even on his profile when we met, so one night I booked us in for a game of mini golf at Holey Moley, where we ended up playing both courses. Because of his reaction about how excited he was to go before we got there & afterwards him telling me how much fun he had, talking about it days later, that we should do more fun stuff, that I started to think, what the fuck is there to do in Adelaide?

When I posed this question to myself, I was spending the next day driving to Port Pirie with a colleague so I said to her that we need to think of “fun dates” in Adelaide. So this list isn’t just complied solely by me, she had a few ideas & was also able to google as I drove but of course the blog is written by me.

Our list included all the usual things listed above, mainly revolving around food, but when I explained it was for an out of towner, who is a fussy eater (no cheese) who’s on a strict diet so doesn’t drink a lot of alcohol, but is adventurous, that we need to come up with fun things, not just dinner or drinks. However we are also restricted to a weeknight date! WOW, this sounds really hard! I wanted fun ideas like the mini golf & so this is what we came up with!052816 (2)

I’ll write a brief explanation for you too – so you can find it in your state if it’s not called the same thing where you are.

  • Holey Moley – Indoor mini golf. (https://www.holeymoley.com.au/)
  • Intensity – Arcade video games, air hockey, car racing simulators etc. (https://intencity.com.au/
  • Bowling – 10 pin bowling in gross shoes.
  • Winery Tasting – Find a winery with food & make a day of it, I love a sunny winters day & some wine tasting. Even do a brewery tour if wine isn’t your thing.
  • Adventure Rooms – Aka Escape rooms, using clues to get out of the locked room. (https://adventurerooms.com.au/)
  • Ice Skating – Find an outdoor rink, usually pop ups in Glenelg or the city.
  • Aquatic Centre – I thought this was weird (mainly cos I was worried about them seeing me in bathers, when my colleague said that she assumes he’s already seen me naked & this is something fun she does with her partner sometimes for a swim, sauna or spa.
  • Sporting Event – Football, motor sport, cricket or tennis. Amateur or professional, just get amongst the atmosphere.
  • Beach House – Used to be Magic Mountain, the waterslides, dodgem cars, mini golf, arcade games. (https://thebeachouse.com.au/)
  • Laser Tag – I did it for the first time a little while ago with work people, so was so much fun, in a group, not sure how it’d go on a date with only 2 of you.
  • Tree Climb – Adelaide has a tree climb which I’ve done with my gym friends, it was so much fun. (https://treeclimb.com.au/)
  • Bounce – Trampoline arena, pretty much a warehouse full of trampolines. (https://www.bounceinc.com.au/)
  • La Sing – A karaoke bar in the city, but probably any would be fun. (http://lasing.com.au/)
  • 8 Ball – I have a pool table in my lounge room, that we all know too well… I have sex on it more than I play pool on it. So, going out to play pool might be a better idea!
  • Trivia Night – Often at pubs, go join in with randoms or make your own team.
  • Mega Adventure – A giant obstacle course, must not be scared of heights. (https://megaadventure.com.au/)
  • Comedy Show – I’ve seen a comedian target a couple on a first date or a couple very early in their relationship, so be careful about where you sit. (https://www.adelaidecomedy.com/)
  • Paint ball – I’ve never played but think this could be fun too, even inflict a bit of pain!
  • Go Cart Racing – Careful with this as guys can get a bit too competitive.
  • Latitude – It has everything, indoor rock climbing, trampolines & am obstacle course thing. (https://latitudeair.com/)
  • Lawn Bowls – I’ve done this is big groups, but I’m sure you can do it in smaller groups too.
  • Concerts – Any concert will do.
  • Mount Lofty Hike – Any hike would be fun, even a beach walk would suffice.
  • Moonlight Cinema – cinema in summer in the park. Take wine & cheese for a fun mosquito bitten night.
  • Kayaking – You can hire kayaks so you don’t need to own them, but it’s something I love, however not been a good idea for a first date!
  • Garden of Unearthly delights – When the fringe is on, it’s an amazing place for food, drinks & a random show.
  • Day trip – Hahndorf, Victor Harbor, Whispering Wall or Gumeracha

So I think we did pretty well with the list. I never want to be a boring girlfriend & I think that this will help that along the way. Some of these things are very adventurous & I guess you might need a relatively higher level of fitness & possibly trust that the guy you’re dating isn’t just going to race ahead & not help you if you get stuck on an obstacle. Hahaha. However this also could be a good way to tell if they’re a keeper or not.

Have you got any other ideas?

#IBD4U

Guest Blog: Erotica – For Her

Erotica Thursday’s is back (for today only!) This is a erotica story written by my male friend… I like reading stuff from the men too!

This is a similar fantasy that I’ve enjoyed but have also experienced (Story to come!)

Here’s a link to my erotica scenes… Scene one – Nipple Bells, Scene two – Wake Up Call , Scene Three – His Orgasm & Scene Four – The Wake Up Call , Scene Five – Blindfold, Scene Six – Shower, Scene Seven – Anticipation, Scene Eight – Watching, Scene Nine- Quick Fuck, Scene Ten – Her Surprise & Scene Eleven – Prick.

Enjoy!

For Her

The mood in the house is quite uplifted. I bounce around the living room to my favourite song. The bass from the speakers reverberates from the floor boards. The warmth from the fireplace radiates throughout the room. I pour myself another glass of wine and lay back in the recliner, gazing out the window. I look at the clock. 5pm. A smile appears on my face. A sense of excitement overwhelms me as I see his car pull in to the driveway. My man is home. I take one last quick look in the mirror. I’m wearing his favourite red lace lingerie. Letting him know that I’m in desperate need of hot animal sex. The thought of his hands on me, controlling me, has me ready and eager. I watch him get out of his car. The greasy, dirty, hi-vis outfit encompassing his body, is my favourite sight. His dark sunglasses covering those baby blue eyes. The image of him is something of my dreams.

He retrieves his esky from the boot of his car and walks towards the front door. I take a deep breath to centre myself as I open the door. His smiling face drops to a sly, cheeky grin as he sees me. He stumbles on the front step. I reach for his hand and pull him inside. Without taking my eyes off him, I take his esky from his hands, throwing it on the floor like it doesn’t have feelings and slam the door behind him.

“Don’t worry about your day, or what happened outside that door!” I instruct sensually. “Tonight, I am yours to do with whatever you please, do you understand?”

With that, I push him hard against the door and press my lips to his. I work my tongue into his mouth and melt with the flavour of his tongue that I’ve been craving all day. I wrap my arms around the back of his neck. He reaches down and firmly grabs my ass, lifting me onto his hips. I remove his sunglasses and gaze deep into his eyes. There’s something about them when they look at me. When he looks at me, its like I’m the only girl alive. I know he cares for me deeply. As I do him.

I passionately kiss him as he starts walking away from the door. Pulling away so he can see where he’s walking, he looks at me and says, “Whatever I want, hey?”. I nod childishly, knowing exactly where he’s taking me!

As we reach the doorway to the attic, he kisses me one last time and puts me down.

“Kneel” he commands.

Looking up at him gives me a feeling of being in complete surrender. My master and protector. He reaches above the door frame and retrieves the door key from the hiding spot. He opens the door and instructs me to crawl up the stairs. Knowing this is his favourite part, I crawl up slowly, accentuating my movements. Looking backwards I notice his adoring grin. His eyes fixated on the red lace.

“Whack!”. His hand connects with my right butt cheek, sending delightful tingles of pain through my body. I scurry up the stairs.

“On the cross!” he orders.

I slide my body against the cold, hard, polished St Andrew’s cross, expertly crafted by my masters very own hands. The cold, smooth varnish awakens my skin. The feel on my back is so harsh, but comforting. He straps my hands to the restraints above my head. Running his hands lightly down my body, he grabs my ankles. Spreading my legs, he attaches the straps around my ankles. I cannot move. He walks to the cabinet and retrieves my favourite blindfold. Placing it on me, he presses his lips against mine. His taste electrifies me. Without the sense of sight, I’m more aware of his many other attractive traits. His dirty, oily smell from his work clothes makes me reach out to taste him. He grabs me by the throat and pushes my head back. I moan as he instructs me to be good. I can feel my panties getting wetter as I yearn for him to touch me.

“Bad girls get punished!” he remarks, as he ties a neck tie over my mouth to muffle my sound. Preventing me from trying to taste him.

Suddenly, a sharp pain scorches my breasts. The pressure increases as he tightens the nipple clamps. The pain is intense but pleasing. He tugs on the chain, stretching my already compressed nipples. He pulls further. In my mind I’m waiting for my nipples to tear, but I know that he is in complete control and cautious with his every move. He would never hurt me more than my limits.

He lets go rapidly and my nipples return to my chest. Rebound pain is more intensely pleasurable than the feeling of them being pulled on. My moan is muffled by the necktie. I love being able to scream behind the mask.

He grabs my face and kisses my neck. The polar opposite soft, sensual, contrasting feeling makes me weak at the knees. I love when he creates contrasting sensations!Erotica, for her.pngHe kisses me downwards. Along my neckline. Over my breasts. I’m yearning for him to continue. He complies. He grabs at my waist and kisses me just above my spot. I push my hips into him. The warmth of his tongue gently touches my button. I moan louder as he starts drawing circles around it. Pulling me apart, he pushes his tongue slightly inside and my body collapses slightly into my restraints. He pulls away, back to my clit and runs his fingers around my opening. Pressing ever so slightly on my muscles, he makes me relax around them. Timing my hips with his fingers, I rotate around him. Slowly he pushes his way inside, pressing firmly along my front wall. He pushes his fingers in their full extension. I scream as he presses hard upon my pleasure spot, that he knows all too well where to find. His mastery of his fingers inside my body makes me grind my hips, harder against him. Faster and faster his fingers move against my front wall. The pressure is building, I can feel that familiar feeling is coming. He can sense it too. Increasing in speed and pressure he presses firmly against my spot. My muffled screams get louder and louder behind my necktie gag. The sensations swell throughout my body and the blood rushes to my head. I feel the liquid escape my body. The sound of his fingers, squelching inside me as he slaps them around, in complete control of my body. I collapse further in my restraints as the feeling subsides throughout my body. My head drooped as low as my neck will allow.

He removes my gag and presses his fingers into my mouth. Making me taste myself. I clean his fingers diligently, knowing that it turns him on immensely. I don’t mind my taste either, mixed with the flavour of his hand. He removes my blindfold and I stare at the floor beneath me. My satisfied face stares back at me in the wet polished floorboards. Totally spent and exhausted from the attention that my man just gave me.

As he massages his hands along my legs, I feel the blood return. The sensation of touch appears in my legs once more and I find the strength to stand on my own feet again. The sensations continue as he runs his hands up my torso, over my breasts and to my face. Lifting my head, our eyes meet. His face is awash with content smugness. He kisses me on the lips and returns the blindfold to my face.

The feeling of the rope around my waist is soft and sensual. As he ties my hips to the St Andrews cross, I feel something unexpected is about to happen. I cannot see what he is doing. I feel something spherical being pushed against me. As I feel the rope cinch tight against my body, I realise what he’s done. He’s tied it against me, pushing firmly on me.

“Im going to have a shower, I will be back shortly!” he exclaims.

“Don’t you fucking dare you bastard!” was my desperate reply.

He kissed me on the lips and then I feel him move away. My focus turned to the spherical pressure on my button, knowing that in any second, I may or may not be in severe uncontrollable discomfort until his return.

The feel of the headphones being placed over my ears was distracting enough. My favourite band starts playing. My master knows me well. The intro builds. The singer’s voice screams through my head. I cannot see or hear what my master is doing. I cannot move, restrained to the cross. Almost all my senses have been removed and I am unaware of my surroundings. The song builds toward the bass drop. A gentle kiss on my lips just before it hits, then as it does…..

“Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz”. Trapped in restraints, with no awareness of what’s around me, and a hitachi wand tied firmly against my clitoris while my master leaves to have a shower…….

#IBD4U

 

Guest Blog: Locked Out Of Heaven

Another Guest Blog from a reader of mine. I love these stories… I hope you do too! Breaks up the ongoing stories I share.

I believe this was another bloggers stories, but I don’t have the link of where it is posted!

Bit of a short one, but a good one! Hahaha.

Hope you enjoy anyway.

Locked out of Heaven

I hadn’t been separated very long, and as any newly single woman does, I went through a bit of a wild phase.

My favourite drink went from hot milo to tequila, my clothes from mumsy to classy single lady on the prowl, hooker heels, red lips, and a whole lot of sass.

Now considering I’ve never been a huge drinker I had to learn to manage my drinks and to handle my liquor.

I was out with the girls, frocked up to the nines, a few drinks under my belt when I saw him. We had locked eyes a few times and I gave him that cheeky smile, liquor induced of course.

Bruno Mars Locked out of Heaven came on and I’d made up my mind. I wanted to dance. I wanted to sexy dance. I wanted to sexy dance with him.

So with that extra dutch courage I hopped down from the stool I was on and strutted over to him, lets just call him Mr Hottie. Not only because he was sexy as fuck, his body was rock hard muscle, but when my hands found their way under his shirt he was warm, no, hot, to touch. Argh! Got there way too early. Rewind…

As I swayed my hips over to Mr Hottie, I reached for his hand and asked him to dance expecting him to oblige, however, he chose this point that he decided to play shy and told me he couldn’t dance.

I laughed and told him “there’s no such thing as can’t dance. Dancing is just like sex and I bet you rock in bed”. Yep. Good old dutch courage because this girl would never have said that to a stranger sober.

And with that I led him to the dance floor, stood in front of him with my hands on my hips, rolled my hips and then raised my hands in the air and with one I slowly sexily ran one hand down the inside of my still raise arm, down my throat, between my breasts to my hip, then lifted my hand and bit my finger and purred to him “tell me you can’t dance again”, before hooking my finger into the keeper of his jeans above his crotch and pulled him toward me.

Girl was on fire!

I placed my hands on each of his hips and stood with one of his legs between my two. I whispered in his ear and gave him the sultriest look I could manage, “show me how you can dance, just pretend you are having sex”.

And as the music blared in the club we proceeded to sexy dance to the sound of Bruno Mars. Hips rolling, hands wandering, neck kissing, ear sucking, heart rates increasing.

And by the end of the song, Mr Hottie showed me he definitely could dance, and later on that evening he showed me that those dance moves were incredibly arousing, orgasm building, sexy as fuck sex moves as well.

And that ladies is my memory of Locked out of Heaven, Mr Hottie and the night I got crazy on tequila and had the confidence to approach the hottest guy in the club.

Thanks dutch courage. Love you!052816 (3).png

#IBD4U

Profile Picture

One very odd thing about online dating is what people think is appropriate for their online dating profile pictures. I know I’ve talked about online profiles before but this blog will be profile picture specific… (When I started writing this post, I didn’t think I’d have much to say, but boy was I wrong!)

As I’ve said before this is your time to shine, your time to show women or men what you look like, who you are via pictures & if they want to swipe on you or not. Why waste this opportunity with a shit picture?!

However, in my experience, on the many occasions I have been online dating, I am still perplexed about men’s choices of profile pictures, I don’t look at women’s profiles so I can’t comment – but I’m sure there is a female equivalent to this blog, things men hate… It any guy wants to send me their thoughts, please do! I’m happy to hear if I am also doing something wrong!

052816

So, I want to ask. Why do men put up weird photos? Unflattering photos or really unsexy photos?! The most common unsexy one for me is them on a boat, looking proud as punch with a giant fish, that they’ve clearly just caught… Let me tell you something guys, there is nothing, absolutely nothing, sexy about a fish!!! They’re slimey, they’re cold & wet & do you know what? They aren’t cuddly or cute… They’re so unattractive, I just don’t get what message you’re trying to send a chick? Is it a that you’re a mans man? Or that you’re a hunter & gatherer? You will provide for her? I just think, ewww, every time I see one, especially if there is blood on the poor fish! I’d say probably one in every ten profiles contain a fishing charter photo of some sort.

My biggest pet hate for online profiles pictures is a picture with a kid… Especially when they note in their profile bio that the kid is not theirs… WHY! I hate it because I don’t think anyone should put kids on an online dating site… Its weird. So many internet creeps out there, do we really need to expose kids to that when they can’t consent to their picture being shared? Secondly, as someone who doesn’t want kids of my own, I don’t like to see someone that I’m attracted too, with a kid who’s not theirs, because it tells me that they want them, regardless of what they say. However, I do prefer a man with children, so I do want to know that they have kids, but I don’t need to see a picture of you with them to know that you’re a good dad… But seriously, if its not your kid, did you get permission from the parents to post it? Would they be ok with it being on a dating site for you to attract women? Also if you say you’re not looking for a relationship, could you put up a more contradictory photo?! It’s just plain weird, so stop it.

The blurry photo… What is that all about? Why post a blurry photo or even one where you can barely see your face because it’s such bad quality – this happens ALOT… Its 2019, take another selfie, delete that one & start over – did you know, it costs nothing to do that?? Same as the half face picture… It still costs nothing to take a picture of your whole face… Unless you are the phantom of the opera, show me your whole face!

Oooh, sunnies pictures! Fuck guys can look really hot in sunnies & then you look at their next picture & think fuck you were hot till you took them off! It’s not their fault, I get it… Maybe I look better with my sunnies on? Perhaps not though, because I do get lots of comments on my eyes… I’m also a bit like this with hats because I prefer hair so usually when they have all pictures with a hat on, they’re bald. Not much you can do about sunnies & hats but it makes a difference.

So the ol group photo, especially as their first picture, I look at the hottest one in the group hoping that it’ll be you & I’m devastated when its not. I find myself wishing you were the hot one, then I toy with the idea of swiping to get to know you so I can date your hotter friend! (hahaha not really, but what a great blog post that would make!) If you want to post a group shot, to show your fun side, make sure it’s not your first picture. Or all of your pictures – why do men post every single picture of him in a group?

This also follows on with drunk pictures or nightclub pictures… I don’t want to see that you’re a party animal. I am happy for you to go out, I also like to go out but if every picture was taken by a nightclub photographer, then you’re probably not going to be putting in any effort to be with me, even if we are just casual…

What about a photo with another chick? I don’t care if it’s your sister or just a friend, if I think she’s hotter than me, I definitely won’t be liking your profile because I will automatically assume that I am out of your league… Even if she’s not that hot, I always wonder what the deal is & why your not dating the chick your snuggling – who you’ve deemed worthy of your dating profile but not worth enough to date. It always gives me a weird vibe to be honest, but chicks are constantly in men’s profiles, probably more than fish…!

Selfies! I’m all for selfies, most of my pictures are selfies however, do we really need a flexed muscle in the gym bathroom? Or a dirty mirror selfie? (yes I look at the marks on the mirror!) Or a urinal in the background? Lets also not forget the ‘looking down’ selfie – usually in a car, why do men do that?? It gives you a double chin, even if you don’t have one. It’s not a flattering look… & oh dear God, selfies with bloody snapchat filters… Just as men hate them for women, women hate them for men – save them for snapchat not your online dating profile!

What is with pictures of only inanimate objects such as your car, truck, boat or motorbike? You’re not even in the picture! What is with that?! I don’t care what you drive to be honest, even if you’re standing next to it… It just sends the message that I will be always number 2 in your life behind your pride & joy. This goes the same with holiday pictures that you’re not in, I like to see holiday pictures with you in it, or that could be anyone’s picture. Same with a sunset, you’d be surprised how many sunset pictures there are.

I’m not a smoker & never have been, so nothing makes me click the no button faster than a cigarette picture… Fine for you to say you’re a smoker in your bio, most sites ask that now & I do prefer to know this fact prior to dating you, it’s not a deal breaker for me so I’m not opposed smokers but do I really need to see you with a fag hanging out your mouth, usually looking drunk as fuck or blowing smoke rings? Nope!

Memes… Why oh why do men post memes! It’s a online dating profile not bloody Instagram…! Most of the them are offensive & I am pretty open minded, so the fact I find them weird to post, I wonder what other women think. We want to see your face, not how good your google skills are at finding lame dad jokes.

Pets, ok I’ll let them off for having their pet up in their profile, however, if it’s just your pet & you’re not in it, I’m probably going to like your animal more than you, so probably best you just put your face up!

The “I looked so good in 2009, so I’ll put that picture up” photo… WHY? You do realise it’s a dating site & when you meet the person & you don’t look like your picture, they’re probably not going to be interested anymore… How dare you waste my time like that! Note to everyone, use recent pictures!

Only having one picture up irks me the most. Especially when it’s just one of the ones listed above… Because after all these guys I’ve already talked about above, they take off their sunnies or have a clear photo & they aren’t attractive to you, but you’ve only got one photo to go by, so when you meet they look nothing like you’ve seen, it makes the date awkward, unless they’re hotter, which lets face it, they generally aren’t… So please put up several clear photos & be confident in how you look!

Now let’s face it, I’ve swiped & matched with all of these guys over the years, I’m not saying I ignore them & you shouldn’t either… But I’m hoping this blog post will help educate those online dating to actually sell themselves, not their friends or bike or someone’s kid or fish… Hahaha…

#IBD4U

Guest Blog: The Writer

Another Guest Blog from a reader of mine. She’s written some stories for us before, this is another story she has for us…!

This is similar to some stories for me, I feel like I am not alone & am thankful that you share your stories with me & allow me to share them!

I love that you’re all involved in my crazy dating life & want to share your similar stories…!

Bit of a short one today, but I hope you enjoy anyway!

The Writer

So, I had been using a kink dating app, testing it out and it linked to my FetLife profile. After I deleted the app I got a message from a man on FetLife explaining that he’d followed me from the app and he wanted to chat with me, if I wanted too. Now, that maybe sounds a little creepy but he writes beautifully and I’m interested in having a chat. I’ll start by saying he’s not my normal type, he’s older by quite a bit and he lives interstate, he’s also in an open marriage. I normally don’t invest my time in people that will be hard to meet up with or married men, even open marriage men. But anyway… I do and I’ll call him The Writer.
We chat on FetLife for a bit and then we move to another chat app. I’m loving the conversations we are having, they’re intellectual, sexy, emotive, curious and we talk about everything, even mundane day to day stuff. I like him. He loops me into a group chat with his wife after a bit, she wants to know who I am as she’s been hearing so much about me. She’s lovely but a little aloof. She’s happy for me to be chatting with her husband, she’s got her own partners outside their relationship that she spends time with and is happy with the arrangement.
After a few months of intense chatting we’re starting to make plans to meet. While this has been going on I’ve met someone locally that I’ve started a relationship with, I’ve been open with him about The Writer and the relationship we have and local boy is onboard for me to meet up with him…until it gets too real and then he wants to tap out and wants me to cease contact.
I really like local boy and want to respect his boundaries and want to give our relationship a reasonable chance of making it. So, sadly I chat with The Writer and tell him where I’m at, he’s sad but understands. We only occasionally message each other to say hi, happy birthday etc… No sexy chats at all.

Guest blog the writer spouse or murdered.png
Fast forward about a year and my relationship with local boy has gone wonky and we break up. Not long after The Writer contacts me to say hi and we have a bit of a chat about what’s been going on. We chat a bit more over a few weeks and we decide that we’re going to meet, I book some cheap flights and we spend a few days picking an air bnb to stay in. He’s going to come and meet me in Melbourne and we’re going to talk and hug and cry and laugh and maybe have some kinky sexy fun.
Finally the day comes to fly out to meet him, he meets me at the airport and it’s lovely, like meeting an old friend. We check in and head out for an afternoon of exploring the city. Afterwards we head back to the bnb, I nap and when I wake up we make love, it’s tender and heartfelt and nice.
The next day he wakes me up, kisses me and then blindfolds me, he’s touching and licking and playing. My wrists get bound and then my thighs, he walks me carefully down some stairs and sits me on a swing in the lounge. My ass is hanging off the back of the swing, he ties me up harder and ties me to the swing, I’m tied up like a mummy. My senses are heightened and I’m really turned on. He pulls out a flogger and starts flogging my ass, it feels amazing, pleasurable pain. I’m still blindfolded. He stops flogging and I find a hard cock in my mouth he gently fucks my mouth for a bit before getting out a small whip and teasing me and whipping me. He’s playing and teasing. He then fucks me from behind. I’m suspended, tied and blindfolded, I can’t do anything but ride it and it’s amazing. We finish and he lays me on a cowhide rug on the floor and unties me, my body is tingling and buzzing with the release of the ropes and I can feel the sunlight that’s streaming through the windows caressing my skin. He takes my blindfold off and I see the play scene around me and I want to do it all again.
But we don’t and that’s another story.
I leave the next day, The Writer and I still chat, I’m still swooned by his amazing way with words that paint a vivid picture and hit you in the emotions. It’s an odd, endearing relationship we have. I’m glad we have it.

#IBD4U

Guest Blog: Erotica – Alarms

So with my fiction erotica scenes posted, I have found out that some of you also like to write erotica fantasies.

I am so thankful that you share them with me & allow me to post them…

This was written by a friend who is a male, thank you for allowing me to share…

Enjoy!

Alarms

You walk swiftly past me and your fragrance captures my nose. I grab at your wrist, but you pull away playfully.

“You’re not getting away that easy!” I mutter.

A cheeky grin forms on your face as you turn to face me. Your hair flings over your shoulder as you lower your head. Your eyes look up at me with a “come get me bitch” gaze. Taking a step forward, my hands grasps your chin firmly, forcing you backwards against the wall. Nose to nose, I feel your breath on my face. Rapid and warm. Turning your face to the side, I expose your neck. Gently pressing my lips against your skin, causing the smallest of moans to escape your throat. Your hands slide up my stomach and come to rest on my chest. You press your left leg against mine, and slowly raise your thigh up the inside of mine. My free hand jolts downwards, stopping your leg before it reaches the top. I let go of your chin and slide my hand across your cheek, and reach for your ponytail. Grasping it firmly, I pull it down and out. Spinning your body, you moan louder as your hands slap the wall to cease your turn. I press my body hard against yours. Your knees bend, your legs feel weak. You can tell I want you. I can tell you’re mine.

As I let go of your ponytail, I run my hand down over your shoulder. With my body still holding you firmly against the wall, my hand slides down to grab yours. I take your other hand in mine also. In one smooth, swift motion, your arms find themselves above your head, left over right against the wall. My right hand lets go and softly runs down your right arm. The feel of you under my fingers is mesmerising. Your body shivers as my fingers gently caress your sides, down toward your waist. My hand firmly grabs the side of your pelvis, pulling your hips backwards into me. Keeping a firm grasp on your hip, my left hand replicates the right’s actions…

A small kiss to your right earlobe as my fingers make their way underneath your hoodie, to your warm soft skin. I slide my palms up your naked back to your shoulders. Excited to discover the lack of bra strapping. Continuing my hands up your arms, I remove your jumper over your head. You gasp for air as I lean into you, pressing your bare chest against the cold wall.

Erotica Alarms eyes sex
I run my hands back down your torso, stopping at your hips. Sliding both my pinky fingers inside your tracksuit pants, my hands follow your pelvis around to your front, palms spread wide on your abdomen. They slide down into the crease at the top of your thighs. I pull you back into me. My fingers trace down the fold to your soft skin. Touching the outside I press my fingers together and apply a light pressure. Your button is compressed by your outer skin, sending pulses through your body. Circular motions from my hands seem to soften your muscles. Your pelvis thrusts with my hands. I can feel the warmth radiate from you. Using my feet to widen yours, my fingers push too far and your wetness transfers to them. Gently massaging your outers, your breathing becomes heavier. I slide my hands further in around your legs, and pull up with a firm presence. Thumbs pressing directly on your button now, my index fingers open your lips. The warmth is now overwhelming. I slide the tips of my middle fingers into you, pulling you open further. You moan deeper as I tip your pelvis backwards, and press myself into you.

“Take me” you moan!

“Beep beep beep beep” sounds your alarm.

“SMASH!” goes the alarm through the window!

#IBD4U

Erotica: Scene Twelve – Payback

Lucky last….!

This is the last instalment of the erotica series written by me. Then I’m back to only posting on Tuesdays, Fridays & Sundays!

I hope that you have enjoyed this series! It’s been interesting sharing it with you & you should be starting to see why it was relevant to my blog but not necessary to the story!

Here’s a link to the other scenes… Scene one – Nipple Bells, Scene two – Wake Up Call , Scene Three – His Orgasm & Scene Four – The Wake Up Call , Scene Five – Blindfold, Scene Six – Shower, Scene Seven – Anticipation, Scene Eight – Watching, Scene Nine- Quick Fuck, Scene Ten – Her Surprise & Scene Eleven – Prick.

Scene Twelve – Payback

I’m laying on the bed face down, frustrated as a teenage boy when I hear the shower turn off.
I lay still, wondering if he’ll come make me cum.
He doesn’t.
I can’t even hear where he has gone.
I don’t move.
I don’t hear him at all so I jump when he says sternly
“Stand up” I awkwardly get up, trying to be fast but stumble, his hand grips my arm tightly to help me.
The look in his blue eyes is so dark, that I open my mouth to apologise but he stops me before I can with a finger over my mouth.
He picks up his tie that’s on the bed, I put out my wrists ready for him to tie them but he looks at me with a look that I know I am in for a night to remember…
He chuckles in front of me as he sees me with my wrists together, waiting for him to wrap the tie around.
He holds the tie up in front of my face.
We lock eyes & he’s looking sinister as I have a look of despair.
He is not going to go easy on me tonight.
He gives me one last grin as he wraps the tie around my eyes.
Everything is dark.
He ties it around the back & brings the end to the front to tie tightly in a knot over my eyes.
It’s almost painful.
He pushes something against my mouth, it forces me to open it & he ties the ball gag around my head.
He knows I am cautious of gags, so this is a real punishment for calling him a Prick.
He could spank me as punishment, but he knows I like it.
Hs pulls my arm, I stumble forward.
He guides me, but I don’t know to where.
When he stops me, I am disorientated, but his hand grabs my ankle & pulls it to the side.
He attaches a velcro strap to it.
He moves to the other ankle, moving it so I am spread open.
He is going to make me stand.
He runs the tip of his fingers up my legs, over my pussy quickly to make me jolt backwards & my ass hits something.
he grabs my wrist & puts it above my head, attaching a velcro strap to it too, then doing the same to my other wrist, that’s when I realise I am tied to the door.

Scene twelve prick sex orgasm.png

I am tied to the door, exposed, spread open, senses heightened from being so turned on, waiting, wanting.
I feel like I am there for a long time, before I feel him in front of me again.
Something sharp touches my hand, my fingers curl.
As it runs down my arm, I realise he has a wartenberg pinwheel.
I try to pull away as he glides it down my arm to my collar bone & down across my nipple.
I try to cry out, it feels so amazing, but the gag just gets in my way.
He keeps running it across my nipples, from side to side.
I pull on the restraints & my knees keep giving way, but it doesn’t help.
I am stuck at his mercy.
His hand strokes my inner thighs, if I could talk I’d beg him to touch me.
I thrust my hips as much as I can to let him know what I want.
His hand teasing me with the pinwheel pulls my ponytail so my ear is brushing his lips
“You… will… not… cum”
He can’t see my eyes but I roll them under his tie, moaning against the gag.
I want to call him a prick again.
The pinwheel starts it’s torture again then his fingers slip between my legs & he rubs in small circles.
I’m so turned on from not cumming before that I am close & my breathing changes.
I am concentrating so hard on not cumming but it’s almost impossible.
I keep straining trying to get away from him.
He speeds up his torture, I am so close, I can’t hold it back anymore.
My breathing changes again, ready to cum.
He stops!
I scream into the gag.
He kisses the sweet spot on my neck that drives me crazy, then he starts again, the wheel, his hand.
I get to the point when I am about to cum & he stops, I scream again.
He does this so many times I lose count.
I am begging though the gag, begging him to make me cum.
The next time he stops, he takes the gag off.
I want to babble for him to make me cum, I want to call him a prick again, I want to tell him that I want to do what he wants me to do, but I remain silent.
“Do you have anything to say to me?”
“Yes Sir, I am so sorry, please let me cum. I didn’t mean it before”
“How badly do you want to cum?”
HIs fingers return to my clit, then slip inside me.
“So badly, Sir please make me cum for you”
His fingers speed up, he kisses the spot on my neck that makes me hot.
I cum so hard against his hand that I am lucky my arms are restrained because that is all that is holding me up right now.

#IBD4U

Tom Cruise

I decided that it wasn’t healthy to keep seeing married men – that’s the wisest thing I’ve said in a while! Hahaha!! Even if they are allowed to see me – its not healthy, so I trolled online for a date with a nice single man. OMG where are all the single men!? I chatted to a young Tom Cruise look-a-like for a short time before we we tried to set up a date but we never could work it out, he seems like too much hard work. Maybe that’s why I am into married men, because they can’t always see me so it’s not disappointing when they don’t.

One of my biggest pet hates is when I know a guy can see me, like I know they are free & they don’t see me! It comes back to that stupid fucking book ‘He’s just not that into you.’ It basically says that if the guy is not trying to fuck you then he isn’t into you, no matter what the scenario. I don’t recommend anyone ever read this book! It is completely fucked & I think it’s partly part of my problem, I don’t show effort to a guy because I just figure ‘oh well, he just wasn’t that into me.’ It’s almost like my defense play card!

Anyway one night I was sitting in bed, early one Friday night & we were chatting & randomly arranged to meet up that night. I suggested halfway between our houses at a bar but he said he wanted to get drunk so I should meet him at his local. Warning bells should’ve been going off, but this guy was quite cute & I need a break away from the unhealthy relationships I am having.

He is there when I arrive, sitting outside having a smoke when I walk up, it’s freezing so we go in pretty quickly & he offers to buy me a drink. I ask for a red wine. Within a few minutes of the date he’s asking me about my job & almost asking me for help in my field. Of course, as most people would’ve done because of the things he was saying, they’d go in to work mode to help him with his situation. So that’s what I did, I went into work mode & started giving advice as I would if he was a client – not really thinking, just knowing there’s a way to fix his problem. But then he said I was boring. Yep, those words came out of his mouth to my face…

He went out for a cigarette shortly after that & upon his return, he said he was going to play a game of Daytona & I should watch his stuff… I was like right… Too bad if I wanted a game with him, I didn’t even get a chance to ask if I could play too as he was already walking away. When he finished his game, he came back to tell me off for playing with my phone too much, I was lurking in the chat group getting more & more jealous that Noodle was online but hadn’t chatted to me privately… Tom Cruise then asked me if I’d ever taken drugs – hmmm, yes, he did ask that! WTF… This is the first date. Then he asked when was the last time I had sex – err really? Then he asked me more about my ‘boring’ job, which I was careful not to elaborate on for fear of being boring.

We talked for ages actually but the conversation was always difficult & always controversial topics that I didn’t get a good vibe from him. He kept leaving me alone to go smoke but he kept buying me red wines. I had driven so I was taking it easy on the wine, but he kept drinking & buying me drinks, I guess he did say that he wanted to get drunk! While he is outside one time, he messages me “Hello”. I’m like what is this guy doing?

When we get kicked out of the front bar, he offered up the other bar near the pokies, I was going to say no, I better go home, when he said that he liked my jacket. I replied that I liked his too & he said “It’s my kayaking jacket” OMG. I ask if he’s been checking out my online profile, where I say that I have just gotten into kayaking. He says no, so I get a tad excited & asking him about kayaking, where he goes, if he has one of his own? He looks at me like I’m a martian & says that he doesn’t kayak. WTF! Yes I just had a conversation with myself about kayaking because he doesn’t actually do it…Like what is this guys deal?!

He goes out for yet another cigarette coming back to say he’s going to play the pokies… Why am I still here? Why haven’t I walked out yet? He stands at the bar, looking drunk & looking back at me as he orders some more drinks. I still am sipping my third red wine when he comes back to the table with a white wine, even though I’ve been drinking red all night & have an almost full red wine in front of me. He downs another beer. WHAT THE ACTUAL FACTUAL FUCK. Why would he buy me white wine now? This guy has a fucking screw loose… I can’t look away, I can’t leave this date because seriously this isn’t happening!

Tom Cruise Dating Douche Pig

After the second time he goes to play the pokies & have a cigarette, I think I should just get up & leave so when he comes back he is baffled what happened to me. I check online & see that Noodle has still been online chatting profusely in the groups but hasn’t messaged me to say that he’s back online like he usually does – my heart sinks. So I decide to stay & ‘give this guy a go’ (Like surely I have a screw loose if I am still here at this point!) but when comes back Tom Cruise says “This isn’t going to happen” I blink at him before I realise what he means, I jump up out of my chair, pick up my bag & walk out without a word. Not even saying goodbye. Not looking back. Seriously. WTF!

#IBD4U

Erotica: Scene Eleven – Prick

This is the second to last erotica… I hope that you’ve been enjoying it. But all good things must come to an end!

I really should turn these into a story!

Here’s a link to the other scenes… Scene one – Nipple Bells, Scene two – Wake Up Call , Scene Three – His Orgasm & Scene Four – The Wake Up Call , Scene Five – Blindfold, Scene Six – Shower, Scene Seven – Anticipation, Scene Eight – Watching, Scene Nine- Quick Fuck & Scene Ten – Her Surprise.

Scene Eleven – Prick

He stands me up & gives me a deep long kiss, pulling on my pony tail to give him a better angle.
He walks around me, again standing behind me, he lightly pushes me so I stumble forward towards the bed.
Without warning he pushes me roughly on the bed face first with my hands still tied behind me back, I yelp, but he has a hand on my neck roughly, almost hurting me & his knees pulling my knees up so my ass is in the air.
Once I’m in the position he wants, he stands up behind me.
I can’t see him, but I feel his presence.
The slap on my ass sounds worse than what it is but I still whimper.
He spanks me then rubs my ass gently, so many times over & over that I lose count.
His gentle hand slides between my open legs & stokes my clit from behind.
I start to slide forward as I start to get more excited.
His spare hand roughly pins my neck hard to the bed to stop me moving.
I moan with every teasing movement of his hand, stroking the full length on my pussy, all the way to my ass hole.
He slips a finger or two inside me, then another on my clit
“Please can I cum sir?”
“You can cum when I say you can cum”
I whimper a almost inaudible ‘Prick’, knowing it he won’t let me cum.
Everything stops
I try to look at what he is doing
“What did you just say?” he growls & I know I am in trouble.
I bite my lip from saying anything else.
“Tell me now” he snaps loudly.
I stay silent.
I get an almighty spank on my ass that really hurts, I jump & cry out ‘owww’
“Tell me what you called me”
I don’t hesitate this time, I whisper ‘Prick’
“I can’t hear you?” He spanks my ass again, its so hard it brings tears to my eyes

scene ten Prick sex orgasm denial
“Prick” I scream.
I hear the smile in his voice
“Awww do you think I am going to let you cum now?”
I cringe & know that I am in trouble.
I hear him spit & feel it on my ass then his cock is rubbing up & down my hole before he slides it slowly in my asshole.
He holds me down with a hand on my neck.
His face close to mine as he starts to pull in & out of me.
“Do you think that was very nice to call me a Prick?” I shake my head as much as I can.
“Answer me”
“No Sir”
“Good Girl” He picks up his speed, I can feel every inch of him filling my ass.
“Should I make you cum?”
“Yes Sir, please” He kisses my ear & neck which is such a turn on for me I almost cum from that & being so full from him.
“You will cum when I tell you too but not this time” he smiles “I’ll show you what a Prick I can be.”
He kneels up, keeping his hand on my neck, my hands stuck behind my back he builds up speed.
He spanks the side of my leg & I cry out.
He is moving so fast inside me, that I feel closer & closer to cumming.
My breath is quick, shallow & loud.
He knows I am close.
“Yes, you’re close baby aren’t you?”
“Yes. please can I cum?”
With another thrust he cums in my ass, leaving me hanging.
His movements slow down, his hand lets my neck go.
As he pulls his cock out of my ass, leaving me frustrated, he spanks my ass hard.
“That’s what happens when you call me a prick”
He unties the tie holding my wrists behind my back & walks off. He’s in the shower before I can straighten my legs.
As the bathroom door shuts, for the first time ever, he shouts
“Do not touch yourself”
I flop flat to the bed & scream into the bed.

#IBD4U

Erotica: Scene Ten – Her Surprise

We’re nearing the end… I hope that you’ve all enjoyed these stories…

Here’s a link to the other scenes… Scene one – Nipple Bells, Scene two – Wake Up Call , Scene Three – His Orgasm & Scene Four – The Wake Up Call , Scene Five – Blindfold, Scene Six – Shower, Scene Seven – Anticipation, Scene Eight – Watching & Scene Nine- Quick Fuck.

Scene Ten – Her Surprise

I finish work early, making sure I get home before him.
I’m determined to give him a surprise.
I put a note on the front door that says “Find me, Finger me, Fuck me.”
I know it will make him smile, the three F’s.
I go to the bedroom, strip down to a black lace panty & bra set, knowing it won’t be on me long.
I lay on the bed, waiting.
When I hear his car pull up, my heart starts to race, like a school girl.
I stand up & keep my back to the bedroom door.
I hear the front door open & close.
I hear his keys hit the entry table & a few of his footsteps but then when he hits the carpet I hear nothing.
I stand there waiting, so ready to turn around & find out where he is.
But I know if I stand here, like he’d want me to, the reward will be so much better.
The hairs stand up all over my body as I feel him walk into the room.
I can’t help but feel a shiver run down my spine as he stands centimeters away from me.
Not touching me, just standing near me.
I love how he can have this effect on me without even touching me.
As his hands touch my shoulders gently, I let out a gasp & lean back gently against him as he steps forward.
Our bodies fitting so well together.

Surprise sex wanting dating
He whispers in my ear “You look perfect”
I smile, feeling every bit as perfect as he sees.
His fingers graze my skin lightly to find my hands, he pulls them together at my back & I feel his neck tie start to be wrap around them.
He ties them with such care but then tightens the fabric & I feel like I won’t get away.
He tugs my pony tail so my head is on his shoulder & my neck exposed for him.
He trails kisses down my neck as a hand glides down the front of me, brushing my covered breast, then settling just above my panty line.
I rock my hips forward to try to get him to dip his hand lower.
He does.
“You’re so wet for me”
I smile moaning as his fingers work his magic & make me cum within a few short minutes.
My arms pulling against his tie, making it even tighter as I cum.
I quiver, my legs weak but he growls in my ear “On your knees.”
I do as I’m told, sinking to my knees, being thankful that he didn’t make me stand much longer.
He walks around in front of me with his cock out, just out through his fly.
One had is around his length rubbing it for his enjoyment, but also I start licking my lips knowing where it is going.
He steps forward & I lick the tip of his cock.
I open my mouth wider for his whole cock to slide in.
He’s hands reach my hair tugging each side to move my head where he wants it.
He starts to fuck my mouth with his thick cock.
I choke on it.
He seems to like it.
I feel helpless with my hands tied behind my back & my hair being pulled to take his cock deeper & deeper.
I try hard not to gag on his cock but it’s too big for me to take.
My eyes start watering & I gag more & more each time he thrusts.
I’m scared I’m going to vomit on him but he keeps going.
Harder & faster & deeper.
Then I feel him about to cum.
He pulls his cock out & starts stroking it, so close to my face, I know he likes to cum on me, but I keep my mouth open because he hasn’t told me to shut it either.
“Oh yes, Good Girl” he growls as his cum hits my mouth, cheeks & a little dribbles down my chin, I poke my tongue out to lick it up, then lean forward to take his cock back in my mouth so as not to waste a drop.

#IBD4U

Guest Blog: Divorce

Another one from my fellow blogger She-Wolf.

I feel like we have a similar writing style & some similar experiences… What do you think? You will find out why some of her posts are so relevant to me & I will reference them when I can!

Thanks for letting me share!

Divorce

So… my marriage is over.

Surprisingly, this is a lot more difficult for me to write about than I expected.

My (now Ex) husband announced last night- via sms- that he plans to reconcile with his ex wife, for the sake of his son.

He was wonderfully articulate about it. He did his best to be gentle and comforting. He could not be more apologetic; so that was something at least. Also, the marriage meant that he had to call it off; he couldn’t turn ghost on me and never speak to me again.

That being said, rejection still stings like a bitch, and after some particularly confronting personal news, this was just the perfect dressing on top of my suck-salad.

I even surprised myself with how well I took it. I didn’t abuse him (which is a big deal for me, given that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned; especially when that woman is me). I didn’t get drunk (like I wanted to). I didn’t bury my face in a trough of ice cream and pity-eat myself up a whole dress size, either.

I cried alone.

I cried on the phone to my best friends.

I cried with my cat.

Eventually, I cried myself to sleep.

It was fitful; I tossed and turned all night. It felt like I had this cinder block of sad, weighing on my chest all night; with bags of gravel being left under my eyes in the morning.

If I’m being truly honest with myself, I knew it was coming. He stopped contacting me as frequently. He stopped his ritual of telling me every day how beautiful and desirable I am, and that no man has a better, more beautiful, intelligent or articulate wife anywhere. He stopped saying that he loved me.

The saddest part in all of this – in my opinion- is not my wasted, much abused heart; it’s that he’s only reconciling with his ex wife for the sake of his child. A parents’ love is a powerful thing. I’m no stranger to it myself.

What I struggle with is the fact that he would rather his child see him miserable- but woth his mother, than happy and without her. Having been the byproduct of a very unhappy home life, I question his decision.

That being said, I haven’t told him that I feel that way. It’s not my place. He’s made his decision and now he has to run with it. I stupidly even suggested that he and I remain friends. He would apparently like that very much. I told him that I could deal with that- being friends- but that he was to never ask me to be his wife again. Given that this is the closest I’ve come to an actual marriage (though I’ve been engaged several times), it hurt me a lot more than anticipated.

Much of that pain comes from the fact that, in the few precious moments we shared as husband and wife, it felt real. I got a taste of what it would be like to have a husband come home to me and treat me well and appreciate me to the fullest. I discovered that I love being called wife, and that having a husband make love to you is a deeper, more profound experience than having a lover that fucks you. I loved that, after cooking for him, he’d look at me like I hung the moon.

Divorce Breakup tragedy

That taste has become like a craving in me- especially now that I’m not getting it. That is something I will have to live with. I have learned through this that, even though it hurts like a bitch, it is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.

I know with certainty that I could be an amazing wife one day, and that any man would be damn lucky to have me. That’s what I’m choosing to take away.

The upside to all this is that I’m now able to keep experimenting with new lovers guilt free, for your reading pleasure. That, and the spiteful part of me feels less bad about cursing my husband and feeding him non-halal meat.

She-Wolf xx

here is the link to the blog: https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/155174584/posts/45

#IBD4U

Erotica: Scene Nine – Quick Fuck

Not many more to go now, only 3 weeks left!

I hope that you’re enjoying these!

Here’s a link to the other scenes… Scene one – Nipple Bells, Scene two – Wake Up Call , Scene Three – His Orgasm & Scene Four – The Wake Up Call , Scene Five – Blindfold, Scene Six – Shower, Scene Seven – Anticipation & Scene Eight – Watching.

Scene Nine – Quick Fuck

As I lie there covered in his cum, panting from such an intense orgasm with a vibe, he stands over me, I turn my head to look at him.
“Fuck, you are so hot”
I giggle.
He grabs my legs by my hips & pulls me down the bed towards him.
As he slowly takes the vibe out of me, I lift my hips to give him a better angle.
He throws it on the bed & he lays on my body keeping my legs up with his hips.
He takes my hands in his & pulls them up above my head, holding eye contact with me again he leans down to kiss me.
His kiss engulfs me, he kisses me deeply till I can barely breathe.
My heart rate still rapid from fucking that vibe for him.
He links fingers with me & trails kisses down my neck.
I finally get a breath.Kink Quick fuck sex dating.pngHe kisses down my shoulders across my collar bone & up the other side of my neck, back to meet my mouth again.
I squirm underneath him to try to get him to let me go, so I can run my hands on his back, though his hair, dig my nails into his back so he knows I’m enjoying it.
But he just holds me firmly down, kissing me, then again moving down one side of my neck across & back up the other side.
I feel his cock between my legs start to twitch & I try to move my hands so I can stroke it & give him some pleasure too.
But he won’t let me move.
As I feel his cock harden between us, lifts his hips, leans down to kiss me as he slides his cock over me, finding my entrance.
He doesn’t slide it but just teases me, putting the tip in ever so slightly, while I try to lift my hips to take him deeper.
He teases me while deeply kissing me, I try to pull away from his kiss to beg him to bury himself deep inside me but he catches my mouth as I move my head.
As I feel myself getting lost in is torture, he slams his hard cock deep inside me, I try to cry out but my mouth is full.
My eyes pop open with surprise but am quickly taken back to the moment.
His pounds me hard, his cock dipping in so deep, then he pulls it all the way out.
So fast.
His rhythm is relentless.
His mouth never leaves mine.
I am moaning against his mouth.
He fucks me so hard, I can feel his balls slapping against my ass.
Once again I try to move to meet his thrusts, to touch his hair, even to scream out in ecstasy but I can’t.
In & out, in & out.
I can’t take it anymore, I start moaning in his mouth, letting him know I am cumming.
My toes curls, my hands squeeze his as he squeezes mine back & I cum with him filling me every where.
It goes on, deeper & deeper, I’m now feeling him do the same noise against my mouth as he cums deep inside me.
Not once does he stop kissing me, until he is completely spent.
He trails a kiss down my neck & lets me hands go, only now I can’t move them.
He stays on top of me, deep inside me, before catching my mouth again for one more kiss.

#IBD4U

Guest Blog: 10 Important Lessons I Learned When I Found My Local Kink Scene

There are many things you should discuss with your partner before embarking on a kink lifestyle. I know that now, but I entered it quite blindly with people who didn’t really know what they were doing. While it worked out alright for me, it could’ve been a very different story.

I want to use this blog to also open the dialogue, why should it be a secret. Like I said in my guest post why I do what I do, I don’t understand why kink & sex is such a taboo subject. I’d rather people know I am into kink & doing it safely, rather than no one knowing about it at all!

Here’s some more tips for you!

10 Important Lessons I Learned When I Found My Local Kink Scene

It seems like more people than ever are experimenting with kink. Many do so from the privacy of their homes and learn from books and websites like this one. I found it even more helpful to explore my local kink scene at the same time. Finding the kink scene was one of the most transformative experiences of my life. Here are the 10 important lessons I learned.Local kink scene, dating sex.png1. How to Set Boundaries

In the kink scene, it’s standard for people to negotiate what they are and aren’t OK with before playing together. Essentially, the submissive explicitly sets boundaries with the dominant. These boundaries are normally known as hard and soft limits. Hard limits are things that you don’t want done to you under any circumstances. Soft limits are typically things that maybe you are kind of hesitant to take on. Or you’re only willing to do them with certain people or at certain times.

There are BDSM checklists that you can print off to help you have those discussions. No matter what a submissive’s limits are, it’s a standard practice to clearly establish them before playing. This is especially important because the dominant and submissive are operating outside of societal norms of what’s right and wrong.

As a recovering people pleaser, I found the process of setting limits within my BDSM practice translated into learning to set them in my personal life. I started to push back on friends or relatives who ignored boundaries I set. I also became better at clearly stating those boundaries in the first place.

2. Something Can Be Scary and Not Kill You

It is completely natural to avoid what we fear. Fear is an extremely intense emotion. Often, fear limits us in ways that actually impede our survival. Fear might keep us from switching jobs when our current employer isn’t treating us well – or prevent us from even looking at other opportunities. Fear might make us stay in a relationship that’s unhealthy because we’re afraid of being alone.

I was scared to death when I joined the kink community. I’ve also had scenes that scared the pants off me (sometimes, quite literally). I survived. Challenging those fears ended up being incredibly fulfilling for me. It was a rush to conquer my fears and make it to the other side. I also gained the knowledge that I am capable of handling much more than I thought I could.

Whether it’s a new sexual act that you’re nervous about trying or a big life change, the unknown can be terrifying. It’s also where some of the best things in life are. Facing fears is the only way you grow.

3. You Can Tolerate Pain & Survive

One of the biggest lessons I learned was that just because someone is hurting (even me), it doesn’t mean that anyone did anything wrong. I also learned that just because something hurts right now, doesn’t mean that it will hurt forever.

In fact, a lot of positive changes require that you tolerate pain or discomfort on the way to achieving your goals. People typically understand this when it comes to changes like dieting or going to the gym, but they usually have a hard time translating it to emotional growth.

Playing in the kink community directly increased my physical pain tolerance, but that wasn’t the only change. It helped me develop self-control and the ability to delay gratification, two strengths that I use constantly in my personal life.

4. You Can Do You

I was like a lot of people who first show up in their local kink scene: Really unsure of myself. I felt curious and a little ashamed that I was exploring something that society thought was taboo.

What I found was one of the most accepting communities I’d ever encountered. Like any community, it has its quirks but by and large, I noticed a very encouraging pattern: People who had been active on the kink scene for a while owned their fetishes. They didn’t seem ashamed at all. They were proud of them.

Little by little, as I spent time with them, I built up my own sense of personal security. Over time, the petty things people said to me became less like valid criticisms and more like noise. I learned to qualify the person who criticized me to determine whether they were an accurate judge of the subject (and me) or not. If the criticism didn’t come from a source I respected, I simply stopped caring about it. I found that if someone doled out baseless criticisms about things that they didn’t have much knowledge about or hadn’t experienced themselves, it didn’t make me doubt myself. It made me doubt them.

Once I stopped constantly shaming myself and responding in a knee-jerk way to the shaming from others, I focused more on building and understanding my own values system to define my own sense of what is and isn’t important to me.

Again, this didn’t just help me within the kink community. It made me a more effective manager and consultant within the workplace. It made me a better friend.

5. There’s a Difference Between a Dominant and a Control Freak

A lot of people dipping their toe into kink for the first time will start by going online and chatting with people. While this can be an easy and discreet way to find like-minded others, it can be very difficult online to differentiate between people who are healthy, experienced dominants and control freaks claiming to be dominants who’ve just watched a lot of bad porn.

A good dominant:

*Cares whether a submissive provides consent

*Will negotiate and respect whatever limits and boundaries are set

*Doesn’t just take power and control, they take responsibility

While it might be scary to set foot in a real life kink group for the first time, I’ve found that getting connected to a local kink community is one of the best ways to sort out this difference. It’s much easier to tell all of these things in person.

6. We’re Into Different Things, Which IS Why Consent Is Important

There are some common sayings in the kink scene that acknowledge that while some people are into certain stuff and other people aren’t, it’s OK. A few of these are Your Kink Is OK and Your Kink Is Not My Kink, But Your Kink Is OK, or YKIOK or YKINMKBYKIOK (for short…ish).

What’s important here is that the kink scene openly acknowledges that one person’s kink is another person’s squick. Or that one person’s yummy is another person’s yuck.

It is most important that whatever people are doing involves clear consent. If it makes everyone happy and it’s not harming anyone (as opposed to hurting them, because as I wrote above, pain isn’t necessarily bad in the right context), then it’s a good time.

This was a really liberating idea that followed me everywhere else. Maybe certain people didn’t get my life choices, but they made sense to me and the people close to me and that was what was really important.

7. Don’t Trust People Who Don’t Respect Your Boundaries

Once you get used to explicitly setting boundaries , it becomes painfully clear who doesn’t respect them. And who will repeatedly violate them.

This was a painful realization in the short term because I did lose some people from my life. Yet, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Because I had more time for people who did respect my boundaries, I also had more time and energy to pursue things that fulfilled me rather than things that drained me.

It was a huge lesson. People all mostly act alike when you say yes to them. It’s when you start saying no to people that you really see who they are. Because most people can tolerate a reasonably stated no.

If they can’t, that’s not a person you should trust.

It doesn’t matter if they’re a top with a flogger, your best friend from college, or your mother-in-law.

8. You Learn to Recognize the Real Deal from the Fakers

I’ve met some of the most brilliant, adventurous, and just plain old fun people I’ve ever known in my local kink scene.

That said, I’ve also met some braggadocios who puff themselves up and lie about having kink experience and competence that they don’t have, essentially padding their kinky resumes with things they haven’t actually done. Maybe they saw it done once at another club and they tell you that they did it. Or maybe they say they have an extensive military background where they learned all sorts of rope and knife tricks – and you find out, no, wait, actually, they dropped out of basic training and watched a bunch of action movies.

I learned a lot by meeting people and observing them. I’ve even learned by personal experience. Over time, I developed a natural instinct where I could more easily spot a hype man much sooner and from a further distance away.

And this isn’t just useful in the kink seen. This lesson is also especially helpful in business meetings. Or when a friend is dating someone they’re gaa-gaa over who just sits with me the wrong way.

9. Watch Out for People Who Want Power & No Responsibility

As I mentioned above, a key difference between a dominant and a controlling person is that a dominant takes on responsibility when they take on power and a controlling person doesn’t.

I’m extra sensitive when it comes to spotting people who want to make decisions but don’t want to have any responsibility for the outcome of those decisions. I learned this difference on the kink scene, but just like the rest of these, I’ve found that I’m also better able to spot this difference in other settings too.

For example, it helps me figure out the difference between a good boss and a bad boss.

10. Reputation Can Help Keep You Safe.

The kink scene has its downsides just like any other community, but it definitely has some built-in safeguards that (although not foolproof) absolutely help make things a little better and, often, safer.

One of these is the power of reputation. I typically don’t play with brand new people. Instead, I tend to observe them for a while and talk to other people who have known them longer.

If I discover one “enemy,” it isn’t enough for me to consider someone a persona non grata (everyone has a bitter ex or two, myself included). However, I do pay special attention to patterns. If I hear negative things from enough people, especially people whose opinions I’ve come to respect and tend to be credible, that’s enough to give me serious pause.

It’s actually changed the way that I date. I like to know people for a while and get a sense of who their friends are before I get seriously involved. It means that I’m typically friends for a while first. This isn’t something that everyone is open to (a slow transition into a relationship), and that’s fine. However, it’s really been the best way I’ve found of assessing if someone’s life is going to match well with my own and vice versa.

Here is the link should you want to read it. https://www.kinkly.com/10-important-lessons-i-learned-when-i-found-my-local-kink-scene/2/17262

#IBD4U

Erotica: Scene Eight – Watching

We’re getting close the end of the erotica series… What do you all think so far?

Here’s a link to the other scenes… Scene one – Nipple Bells, Scene two – Wake Up Call , Scene Three – His Orgasm & Scene Four – The Wake Up Call , Scene Five – Blindfold, Scene Six – Shower & Scene Seven – Anticipation

Scene Eight – Watching

I’m sitting on the edge of the bed when he walks in carrying something behind his back, smiling like a Cheshire cat.
I look up from unbuckling my sandals and can’t help but match his infections smile.
He hands me a black gift bag, I take it from him asking what’s it for.
“Open it” he says stepping back to sit on the chair in the corner of our room.
I smile, untying the ribbon & peering inside.
It’s a vibrator.
It’s white, long like a smooth fancy rabbit type device.
I am unable to hide my stunned look at what seems like such an odd gift.
There is also a bottle of toy cleaner, I take them out of the bag & hold them up, cocking my head to one side as if to say ‘WTF?’ as the gift bag breaks the silence falling to the floor from my lap.
“I want to watch you use it”
I blush & start to open my mouth to say that I can’t.
“Don’t think, just stand up & strip”
I hesitate
“Now” His voice is stern, not to be questioned, so I stand up, he does the same.
I turn so he can unzip my dress, which he does ever so slowly, his fingers unnecessarily grazing my skin.
The dress falls in a puddle by my feet, his hands lingering on my shoulders a moment.
I unclasp my bra & slowly turn to face him, he is already in just his boxers.
Our eyes lock.
I hook my fingers into my panties, he does the same in the band of his boxers & without looking away we both bend down till gravity takes the last remaining clothing to the floor.
He sits back in the chair, his hands resting on the arm rests of the tub chair.
I suddenly feel shy & vulnerable.
“I’m waiting”

Kink erotica sex watching.png

I look up at him, his face says it all.
I turn & sit on the edge of the bed, my fingers shaking as I pick up the new vibrator still in it’s packaging.
I take it out & spray it carefully with the toy cleaner, rubbing my hand up & down seductively.
Feeling brave, I decide to tease him a little & put it up to my lips to lightly suck the end of it.
I slide it further into my mouth not breaking eye contact with him & his mouth makes the shape of a O & he makes a manly laughing grunt sound, that lets me know he likes what he sees.
I see his cock twitching in his lap & I long to touch it, but it’s not what he wants.
I feel self conscious but I know he thinks I’m sexy, he tells me all the time.
I want to do this for him & feel as sexy as he sees me.
I click it on & it buzzes to life.
I turn it on to a pulsing setting & sit back a little further on the bed so my calves are still hanging partially off the bed.
I spread them wide & run the buzzing vibrator from my ankle all the way up to where I want it to touch.
I don’t hit that spot, I graze over it & down the other leg.
I bring it back up to run up my side & over my nipples where I shiver.
His cock starts to react as I glide the vibrator between my breasts & down south, towards the sweet spot.
As it hits my clit, I jump & moan.
I slip it between my legs so I am almost sitting on it.
I click the switch & turn it up a little.
I start to rock my hips on it, grinding against the vibe pulses.
I run my hands up across my breasts & rub my nipples till they are standing erect by themselves.
I look over to him, his cock is hard, it rests against his stomach, he hasn’t touched it yet, his hands are still on the arm rests.
I feel like I am wet enough to slide the vibe inside me, so I find another pulsing setting, bring one leg up to the edge of the bed so I am wide open to him.
I start poking the vibe in & out, shallow at first with each thrust it goes a little deeper inside me till it’s fully inside with smooth rabbit part resting on my clit.
I lean back on my hands, arching my back, tipping my head back, grinding my hips hard & starting to fuck it.
My breathing becomes loud, short & heavy.
My eyes are close as I rock hard & fast against the vibe.
I keep my legs still & locked, knowing from experience, of being tied down by him, that the orgasm will be much more intense.
I can almost not bare it anymore.
“Can I cum sir?”
“Good Girl” I can hear the smile in his voice.
I’m biting my lip, moving my hips even fast as my legs start to shake.
I lift my head to look at him, his gaze intense, his hand now furiously stroking his cock as I struggle to keep my wits about me.
His deep, dark gaze holds my attention, I can tell he doesn’t want me to look away, I lock my eyes to his.
As I’m about to beg him, his just simply says
“Cum”
I cry out, digging my nails into the bed behind me, I make a fist in the sheets. I rock harder & harder.
He stands just as my orgasm starts to take over.
Our eyes still locked, I want to look away but I can tell he wants this intimacy, this connection.
One stride & he is centimeters away, stroking his cock.
“I’m cumming” I cry out as his furiously strokes his cock
“Fuccckkkkk” I yell, incoherently
He mimics me in a deep voice as his cum spurts on my breasts.
He keeps rubbing his cock, groaning as if he wanted that that to go on.
He reaches between my legs & clicks off the vibe.
I instantly flop back onto the bed.
Completely spent, completely his. He hisses ‘yes’ though his teeth & I know I have pleased him.

#IBD4U

Guest Blog: 13 Things To Try If You’re New to BDSM

So, I’ve been doing some research for you all, as I am no expert! Some of my guest blogs, they’ve been articles abut the kink community, not actual other dating stories from my readers…

A friend shared this one & I thought it was perfect for those thinking they may want to try this kink world but are too scared at how to go about it. I started off slow & if you keep reading you’ll find out a lot more of this kink world I get into, however this article has some great ways to start exploring with your partner.

I will always suggest that you have a conversation with your partner before trying anything with them, consent even for a simple light spank is very important. Communication is the key, I was missing that with some of my exploration & now I am deeper in to kink, I understand how much communication can be required with a new partner!

Enjoy…

13 Things To Try If You’re New To BDSM

OK, so you know you’re turned on by BDSM and kink. You’ve thought a lot about it and maybe you’ve even done some of the things that the experts recommend you do before you get started with BDSM. (Sign up for that FetLife account yet?) You’re ready to start thinking about and planning your first “session” but… You’re not totally sure where to start. Perhaps your fantasies are more varsity level than JV and you want to start slow or maybe you’re just at a loss for ideas because, well, you’re a newbie!

Before we even get into activities, though, I want to take a minute and reassure you a little bit. I know that BDSM and kink can get kind of a bad rap in the media, like it’s some kind of deviant activity that only messed up people are into. Like a lot of things we see in mainstream media, though, that’s a total load of BS. BDSM and kink are practiced by all kinds of people with all kinds of backgrounds — and they play a huge role in the fantasy lives for a large proportion of women. There is nothing wrong with being into kinky sex play and it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. All it means, in the end, is that you’re into kinky sex play!

Now that we have that out of the way, it’s time to get down to the nitty gritty. I have a million kinky friends (well, maybe not a million, but quite a few) who are happy to share their expertise on great entry level kink and BDSM activities for those of you who are 100 percent new to the game. I decide to focus specifically on suggestions made by Miette Rouge, 43, and Jenna, 26, both of whom are active members of their respective kink scenes. One more thing before we get started, though: they both wanted me to remind all of you that communication — before and after — is essential if you’re going to try any of these BDSM 1.0 things. Other than that? Enjoy!

10 lesson of my local kink scene sex dating

1. Hair Pulling

Miette suggests hair pulling as a good way to start getting into kinky play. It’s easy, doesn’t require any toys, and can be as gentle or as rough as you want it to be.

2. Light Spanking

Spanking is definitely a common fantasy and starting lightly is a good idea, with the option of ramping it up as you go, of course. Start with hands and then incorporate toys as you and your partner(s) become more experienced.

“I found it really exciting as a beginner to be told I had to count the number of blows I was going to receive because it was not only a pain thing, but a power thing,” Jenna tells Bustle.

3. Aggressive Language

Miette suggests incorporating aggressive language into your play. Words like “slut,” “whore,” “jerk,” “wimp,” and “f*ck” are all good places to start. Name calling, however, should definitely be pre-negotiated, as one slut’s turn on may be another jerk’s major turn off.

4. Tying Up With A Scarf

A lot of people fantasize about bondage and scarves a good place to start because they’re soft and it’s hard to do real damage with them — unlike, you know, rope and handcuffs. Miette’s main tip is to make sure that two fingers can be slipped between the tie and the skin in order to avoid cutting off circulation, which definitely can do damage.

5. Under The Bed Restraints

Once you’re ready to move on from scarves, Jenna recommends trying out under the bed restraints or “just canvas strap restraints.”

“Even if you don’t do anything else besides fool around, if you’ve never done it before giving up control over your body is an exciting intro to BDSM for beginners,” says Jenna.

6. Incorporating “Sir” Or “Madam”

In addition to aggressive language, Miette advises that a “sir” or “madam” can do wonder to set the stage. It’s a simple way to establish roles in a dom/sub scene and keep you both involved in the fantasy.

7. Biting

Biting is a great entry-level way to play, but Miette warns that talking about it beforehand is again essential — and part of that talk should be about marks. Some people are into them and some people really aren’t, so make sure you know where your partner stands before you start chomping down.

8. Subbing/Topping Role Playing

Jenna suggests that “something as simple as having your arms tied behind your back while performing oral sex” can be a really hot entry level activity for people who are just getting started. Other suggestions might include begging (for sex or punishment) as well as being put in or putting someone in a submissive physical position.

9. Play With “Pervertables”

Miette is really into what she calls “pervertables,” which are basically every day objects that can be transformed into toys. She recommends things like wooden spoons, brushes, spatulas and narrow things like canes, thin belts, and rulers with the metal guide on them if you want to make a mark. The best thing about these toys, according to Miette, is that no one but other kinksters will recognize them for what they are. They’re like a kinky secret signal!

10. Sensation Play With A Blindfold.

Both Miette and Jenna recommend blindfolded sensation play. What does that mean, you ask? Basically, you lightly restrain someone (or are restrained yourself, depending on your preference), blindfold them, and then introduce various sensations with various objects. So maybe you run a feather over them or you pinch them or you give them a spank or tease them to edge of orgasm. The idea is allow the non-blindfolded person to have control of everything that’s happening and for the blindfolded person to surrender control to them.

11. Floggers

A flogger is more like a BDSM 1.1 step rather than a BDSM 1.0 step, according to Jenna. She recommends to newbies, though, because the pain it provides isn’t very intense but it looks scary, which can heighten your enjoyment of it. Her second tip when it comes to this kind of pain play? “Leave the cane for once you’ve experienced a little more, because that sh*t hurts.”

12. Clothespins

Jenna also thinks that clothespins — which can be adjusted and removed quickly, if need be — are a good way to start exploring pain thresholds. She recommends trying them out on nipples, stomach, and inner thigh at first as you start to understand your or your partner’s limits. Once you’ve mastered these,

13. Candle wax

Candle wax is another way to play that Jenna tells Bustle “seems scary but isn’t, isn’t that painful, and is an exciting way to intro/explore pain.” Her only warning is that you do some research beforehand about different types of candles, as certain kinds burn hotter than others and those are the ones you don’t want.

Here is the website to this article https://www.bustle.com/articles/133513-13-things-to-try-if-youre-new-to-bdsm

#IBD4U

Erotica: Scene Seven – Anticipation

Are we enjoying this erotica? I’m not sure… Let me know… Not many to go.

Here are the other instalments to read again or for the first time… Scene one – Nipple Bells, Scene two – Wake Up Call , Scene Three – His Orgasm & Scene Four – The Wake Up Call , Scene Five – Blindfold & Scene Six – Shower

Scene Seven – Anticipation

I walk in the door after work, after spending the day with my mind wandering, thinking about us in the shower this morning.
I call out his name, but no response.
I walk into the kitchen to see if he’s cooking dinner, but he isn’t there.
There’s two glasses of red wine sitting next to a open bottle, I pick up one & take a sip.
Hmmm, my favourite shiraz.
I pick up the other glass & set out to find him.
He has to be here somewhere.
I walk up the hallway glancing in the rooms, the finally into the master bedroom.
All the lights are off, so I put his wine glass down to switch it on.
He is no where to be found but his message on the bed is crystal clear.
There is a blindfold, a butt plug, a flogger & a pair of lace panties, in a small pile.
The sight of these four items send a shiver down my spine & straight to my pussy where I feel myself start to lubricate in anticipation, while my nipples strain against my bra.
I put my wine down & quickly strip out of my work skirt, slipping my underwear down my legs as I step out the skirt.
I unbutton my shirt & unclasp my bra wondering where he is.
I quickly slip into the panties that he left me & slip the blindfold over my head, resting it on my forehead.
I can’t decide if I should put the butt plug in or if he would like to do that for me.

Erotica Anticipation sex dating.png
I take a sip of wine, I don’t want to choose the wrong thing.
However the punishment will be painful ecstasy.
I decide to kneel on the edge of the bed, only my toes hanging off & I bend my body to rest my shoulders on the covers, so my ass is poking up for him to put it in.
I carefully put the butt plug next to me so he can see what I have done for him.
I pull the blindfold over my eyes, grab my ankles with my hands & wait.
I wait…
& wait…
& wait…
It feels like forever, I have tried not to move too much however I have been squirming & my panties are now tight & rubbing my clit with each movement.
I know they will be soaked.
I feel his presence before I hear his movements behind me.
All the hairs on my arms stand up as if frightened but excited at whatever he has planned.
I ache for him to touch me, but all I feel is his hand brush so lightly I almost don’t even know it’s happened when he picks up the butt plug.
“I wondered what you would do with this” he smiles & I think he is sucking something, the butt plug perhaps?
“Open” I feel something at my mouth, I open as I am told & a warm wet thing goes deep into my mouth.
I taste him.
He did suck the butt plug and then made me suck it.
He rubs my ass as he pulls the panties to one side then puts the tip of the plug at my puckered hole before slowly sliding it inside me.
I moan so loudly as it slips easily inside & then he moves my panties back in place.
He spanks my ass with his hand & I yelp.
“You are perfect” he whispers close to my ear as I feel him pick up the flogger.
“I’m glad I didn’t leave you instructions now, you look better than I could’ve imagined.”
I feel him rub his hand over my bare ass & then plant a light kiss on my right cheek.
“Don’t move from this position”
I brace myself for the flogger…
I tense my whole body, waiting for the first blow, which is always the worst.
When he hits me I let out a moan, while it hurts, it also is blissful.
How can something that’s so wrong, turn me on so much?
I relax a little as he flogs me over & over, on my ass, across my back, on my legs, on the base of the butt plug.
I swear in ecstasy, my body ready to cum.
How can I cum from just being flogged with a butt plug?
“I want you to cum like this”
My breathing gets short & deep.
I start to rock back & forth
“Stay still”
I lock my arms ridged, grabbing my ankles, digging my fingernails into my skin.
The flogger hits me over & over again then I cum, quivering & shaking as my body tries to keep the butt plug inside me.
Its intense, it consumes me & feel the butt plug slipping out, but he pushes it back inside me which causes me to keep cumming.
He drops the flogger next to me as he runs his fingers from my neck to my backside, dragging his fingernails along my sensitive skin.
I shudder & goosebumps cover my skin as my breathing tries go back to normal.

#IBD4U

Guest Blogger: The Internet’s for PORN!

I agree with this 100%… I used to be one of those chicks who was annoyed her boyfriend watched porn, especially when I found a massive porn collection that was never shared with me… But it’s so normal, everyone in their life has probably watched some porn.

Now, these days, I go through phases with porn, I don’t watch it a lot but I like to watch it. I have specific tastes in what I choose to watch too. I even have specific tastes on porn stars that I like to watch too… I won’t just watch anything! But I definitely think that people should watch porn if they like it & not be afraid to talk about it!

I have also recently discovered that my new smart TV’s have internet browsers, so I can watch porn directly on my TV… It’s annoying to use the remote control, so I think I prefer using my phone however, wow, I watched a lot of porn once I discovered that…

These tips are spot on, I used to be a bit of a starfish lover, but obviously had a sexual awakening & am told by quite a few men that I am nothing like a starfish lover! (Which is always good to hear!)

Porn is fun! Porn is fun alone, porn is fun with your partner, even your own homemade porn is fun (yeah… stories to come! hahaha) Find the type of porn you like & have fun with it!

Let’s get it off the taboo list too!

The Internet’s for PORN!

Let me start by saying I ❤️ Porn!

No, seriously; I really do.

As in I watch porn almost every day. Whenever I’m having some solo time, I’m watching porn while I double-click my mouse.

Personally, I see no harm in it. I know a lot of girls out there are put off by a man who watches a lot of porn, because they feel insecure about their own desirability, but let me assure you that it’s not a problem- if he’s still sleeping with you, he’s still into you on some level.

Internet is for porn sex dating.png

His porn choices can also give you a clue as to what kind of bed play he likes, or wants to try out. It’s the easiest way to work out what you’ll be in for, or what your personal limits might be.

For example, I haven’t minded dressing up like a naughty school girl, but I baulked at my foot slave dressing up like one and getting pegged by yours truly.

It can be a great intimacy tool, too. Ask your partner to watch some porn together, and then act out the scene, or indulge in a little solo or mutually beneficial play as you watch. You can also play a game of hold out, and see who cracks first.

The possibilities are endless.

Porn was one of the best guides for how to be a great lay, and I think a lot of women don’t get past their insecurities to see this.

The Pro tips I’ve extracted from porn for real life application are this:

– keep your hands busy; touch him, touch yourself, whatever. Just use them.

– eye contact; it builds intensity.

– participate and/ or take control once in a while; no one likes a star fish!

– don’t be afraid to say what you want.

Go watch some porn now, if you don’t believe me!

She-Wolf xx

 

If you want to read her blog: https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/155174584/posts/113

#IBD4U

Erotica: Scene Six – Shower

Halfway though the series, tell me what you guys a thinking of this fiction!

Here are the other instalments to read again or for the first time… Scene one – Nipple Bells, Scene two – Wake Up Call , Scene Three – His Orgasm & Scene Four – The Wake Up Call & Scene Five – Blindfold

Scene Six – Shower

The sunlight streaming through the window hits my face, it reminds me of a movie scene but this is real life.
I feel his strong arms around me holding me so tight, I never want him to let me go.
I try to move a little & he stirs behind me.
As he rolls over onto his back I roll with him, settling in his nook, his fingers running up & down my bare skin of my back.
I snuggle into his chest, with my arm resting across his torso.
I run my fingers on his side, feeling his seemingly flawless skin under my finger tips.
His hand on my back strokes my hair softly in long stokes, when suddenly he fists my hair & pulls my face to look up at him.
His mouth meets mine, I try to pull away, I have morning breath but his strong hand holds me right where he wants me.
His tongue invades my mouth, exploring & teasing me till I moan against his lips.
When he finally pulls away he releases my hair & begins stroking it again.
His hand runs all the way down my back to my bare ass & he gives it one hard spank, I jump and squeal
“Time to shower”
He jumps out of bed & the shower is on before I even know what has just happened.
I scurried out of bed, being tangled in the sheets, he’s already rinsing shampoo out of his hair.
I feel my face drop, he’s going to be getting out before I even get in.
I open the door a cautiously step in feeling self conscious, like an intruder, my arms twisted lengthways over my breasts as if to hide them.
He ignores my presence & continues to wash his hair.
I’m barely getting any water & am starting to feel like a unwanted guest.
He runs his fingers through his hair while it’s under the spray of the shower, then down his body to his sides.
He makes eye contact with me, I instantly feel reassured, I’d never be an unwanted guest in his shower.

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His movements are quick this morning, he has spun me around with my hands on the wall up above me before I can even think about what he’s doing.
He pulls my hips towards him so I’m almost bent over, then he uses his legs to spread mine to the walls.
His already hard cock is rubbing between my legs & his hands reach around to take my breasts into them, kneading my nipples in his thumb and forefinger.
I push back with my hips, letting out a sigh.
“I want you inside me Sir”
He growls as one hand leaves my breast & guides his cock inside me.
I let out a groan, his hand reaches around to rub little light circles on my clit as he builds up some speed.
He’s pounding in and out, in and out, I really struggle to stand still but he tells me to hold on, so I know to brace myself against the cold tiles.
He changes positions and it’s almost like his cock comes up from underneath me.
He’s deep and fast.
My breathing is rapid and I’m moaning, begging him to make me cum.
He switches positions again, taking both my hips in his hands and really starts pounding me.
I cry out from how deep he is inside me.
He slows down, his hand reach around for my clit again & he kisses my shoulders
“Do you want to cum?”
I make a hmmm sound & push my hips back to take him deeper with his slow thrusts
“Answer me”
“Yes sir, I want to cum for you”
His thrusts remain the same speed & depth but his hand on my clit speeds up but keeps a constant light pressure.
I feel it happening, I’m building up, I start to make the tell tale breathing noises & try to dig my nails into the tiles.
My face ends up pressed against the tiles, I start to lift up to my tippy toes, I feel like my nails will snap off the nail bed with how hard I am trying to dig them into the tiles.
“Cum now’
His deep voice commands of me & my body obeys him.
He picks up the pace, kissing my shoulders as he grabs my hips with both hands, riding my orgasm though to his own.
He cries out & I feel his warm cum fill me up deep inside.
His hands rub my ass & then he smacks it causing me to jump, he always catches me off guard.
He pulls me up against him, while he’s still inside me
His hands run up my belly to my nipples which he take in his fingers tugging them.
He kisses my neck and works his way up to my ear and growls
“I can’t fucking control myself with you”

#IBD4U

Guest Blogger: Why I do what I do?

I have decided to be my own guest blogger today!

I get told a lot that I am very brave – maybe I am, maybe I’m just stupid! When other women write to me, they tell me that they couldn’t do what I do, I think why not? I’m nothing special. Some have even told me they have been writing their stories too, but aren’t brave enough to share them – even with me!

I was just like you once!

So I started writing… I wrote & wrote all my thoughts, as a diary (YES this is my diary, so please don’t judge the decisions I make!) Then when I was brave enough, I started posting. But the blog flopped because I wasn’t ready & I was too insecure about my dating life – my writing has also evolved as I have as a person since I started back in 2016. I felt so alone, like no one else would possibly be going through what I was. But I was very very wrong! So I started posting again & bam, almost 1000 followers in 6 months!!!

My aim has always been to empower women (& men), to realise they are not alone – you may feel it because we don’t often talk about this stuff with our coupled friends, but you are definitely not alone! Remember in my About Me, my first ever blog post I talk about how much I felt alone while dating in Adelaide, & even reading other blogs, I felt like my experiences were similar but I still felt alone.

I am sure that there are other women out there, whether you’re in Adelaide or somewhere else in the world, who will relate to the things that I go through on a daily basis, who may feel alone but I hope that this will open your eyes to the fact that you are not alone, there are others out there & even though you keep meeting “Retards in Tin Foil”, I still believe there is a “Knight in Shining Armour” out there for all of us.

I also discuss this in my Bonus Post – FAQ’s where I again want to help, I am doing this as a service.

I started writing because so many people told me too but I also felt a little alone in my dating life. Pretty much all of my friends have partners & the single ones don’t seem to have the same experiences I do. But I thought, I surely can’t be alone in this. So I started writing, then finally posting them & now the feedback I get is how relatable it is to people. So if I can make even one person not feel alone in their dating journey, then I feel successful.

One thing that concerns me, is why do you have so many taboo subjects when it comes to dating? I am into kinky stuff, why can’t I share that with my friends or even family? Isn’t it safer if the people closest to me know what I do in my spare time in case something happens? It’s sort of like a woman being pregnant, I watched my sister have multiple miscarriages early on in her pregnancies, but because of the risks & what society tells us to do, she didn’t tell anyone at work or close friends about the miscarriages & went through them alone or with only a little support… WHY? Why do we have to go through anything alone? Why can’t we start the conversation!

Guest post why I do what I do. Dating. Empower

I was, when I started writing (& I still am) scared about how honest my posts are, but I think you deserve to hear the truth – honest, brutal & sometimes very vulnerable… I know that there are some topics I discuss that some people don’t agree with. (There are plenty more coming too…) But I urge you, if you’re a women reading this, we should be building each other up, we have enough inequality in the world without bringing each other down. So when you see a post that you may not agree with, I will appreciate your support as you read my journey.

I don’t regret anything I have done, I mean I would definitely change some things if I had my time over, however I don’t need judgement, I can’t change the decisions I made at the time & remember they were right for me at the time. These decisions have led me to who I am today.

Remember also that these blogs that you are reading are not written in real time. I explain in Bonus Post – FAQ’s why that is. I want to be respectful to the man I am dating, but I also personally need time to reflect on what happened too…

I also get asked a lot how old these stories are. I don’t post as I am dating these guys, mainly because I want to live in the moment & enjoy it but also because I never know what might happen. Many of these stories are quite some time ago, some more recent, they aren’t in any particular order but I do try to keep the time line straight. Especially when posting multiple stories about a guy & when they intertwine with other stories (When I’m trying to juggle men). But rest assured, I do have enough stories over the last decade to keep this blog alive!

I am currently busily writing about the last few years plus still dating to ensure the survival of the blog & find my retard in tin foil but if I do say so myself, my life does get a little juicer as I get older. (They don’t call it dirty thirties for nothing!) So stay tuned, but read at your own risk of knowing too much about me!

I love all your kind words, I am so thankful that my passion project has been so successful to date… Including my erotica fiction!

If you know who I am, I am sorry, but I do always say read at your own risk – So clearly you’re intrigued by my life, or you wouldn’t still be reading! Hahaha. Enjoy!

But more importantly, I just want us all to start having those uncomfortable conversations with each other, lets empower each other as women (& as men) to be supportive, not trying to bring someone down…

#IBD4U

Erotica: Scene Five – Blindfold

My fiction erotica… If you follow my blog, surely by now, you can definitely tell why I was writing this?

Here are the other instalments to read again or for the first time… Scene one – Nipple Bells, Scene two – Wake Up Call , Scene Three – His Orgasm & Scene Four – The Wake Up Call.

Scene Five – Blindfold

I lay there feeling so sated but he hasn’t cum, so I know there is more in store for me.
“You never told me that you could squirt”
I go bright red, I am still covered in his now dry cum & also my own.
He touches my blushing cheek
“Don’t be ashamed of it, I love it. Knowing I turn you on so much. Fuck it’s sexy.”
I smile feeling reassured.
I love that he can read my emotions so well & does everything he can to make me feel at ease.
I trust him wholeheartedly.
Before my breathing is back to normal, he gets up off the bed.
I hear a draw open & close, I can’t move, I am so spent from my multiple hard orgasms.
Plus who even knows what time it is.
I feel my head dip a little where his knee hits the bed, he’s kneeling by my head & I open my mouth thinking he wants me to suck him.
One of his fingers rests on my chin & closes my mouth.
He puts something on my head & I realise he’s blindfolding me, as everything goes dark.
I wriggle in my restraints.
What does he have planned for me?

Erotica couples sex

I feel him retreat from the bed & I can hear noise but I can’t work out what he is doing.
Then I feel something tickle my foot, I twitch, I realise he has a feather as it runs up to my knee, making me squirm & moan.
“Do you like that baby?”
“Hmmm, yes sir!”
He runs the feather up my leg, over my belly, across my nipple then up my arm, where he moves to the other arm & comes down doing the exact same on my other side.
When he reaches my other foot, he takes the feather away, I lift my head to try & see but of course I am blindfolded so I listen intently for where he is.
All of a sudden it reappears at my hip, he runs it from side to side, across the top of my pubic hair.
I am quivering & squirming with every delicate touch.
When he lowers it between my folds, I jump & moan, I pull on my restraints.
Without warning he hits me across my belly with a flogger.
I hear the snapping on the tails hitting me as I squeal out, in pain, in ecstasy, in anticipation.
He hits me again across my breast, I arch my back & let out a moan.
I feel the feather still tickling my clit as the flogger comes down on my legs.
in quick succession, he hits all three places again, I keep pulling on my restraints, crying out louder each time.
He keeps the flogger quickly moving up & down from my belly to legs to nipples.
I don’t even notice that he is kneeling between my legs until his cock is at my entrance, dipping in & out while he flogs my breasts only.
I arch my back trying to take his cock in deeper
“Greedy Girl” he chuckles as I beg him to be deep inside me.
Suddenly he stops flogging me & I feel him undo the cuffs from the bed at my ankles.
With my legs straight in the air, he slides his cock deep within me, I cry out as I’m finally getting what I want.
He starts off with a slow rhythm, deep & long.
He builds up some speed holding onto my ankles wide by his face. My arms still restrained & my eyes still covered.
I bite my lip, he tells me how much he loves to see me bite my lip.
He spreads my legs wide, pulling his cock right out of me then slams in deep, draping himself over my body to kiss my lips, holding my legs out.
His cock pounds me over & over, relentlessly.
He doesn’t let me come up for air, his tongue invading my mouth.
Without even trying I am close to cumming trying to pull away from his mouth to get some air.
With only a few more strokes deep inside me, I cum on his cock, moaning in his mouth.
It doesn’t take long before he is riding my orgasm though to his own.
Finally he stops kissing me & I breathe hard trying to regain some normality.
Once we are both breathing almost normally, his cock still twitching in my pulsing pussy, he leans back over to sweetly kiss me, deep, long & with such passion, I realise then that I don’t ever want to kiss anyone else.
He slides the blindfold off my head, looking deep into my eyes, he rubs his nose back & forth on mine before he kisses me on the lips again.
As he pulls out of me, I suddenly feel empty.
He moves to undo both wrist cuffs from the bed & he pulls me against him with his strong arms around me, almost pinning my arms to me.
I know I am safe. I know I am home.
“Sleep now”
But I barely hear his words before I am asleep again.

#IBD4U

Guest Blogger: Why Pain Makes Us Horny

As I have been very vocal about the exploration of the kink world & my sex life, including talking about how much I enjoy pain, I have been looking around for some articles to share with you about why I do…

It’s definitely not for everyone, I get that. & I’m not asking you to try it, especially with just a random or inexperienced man/woman that your dating… If you do want to try, make sure you trust the person inexplicably before venturing into this, also lots of open communication!

I never thought it would be for me nor did I think I would want it, but somehow, I really enjoy it. The more I do it, the more I get out of it.

This article really makes me feel better & I hope it gives you more insight as we delve deeper into my kink scene!

Why Pain Makes Us Horny: The Process That Turns Pain Into Pleasure

“I enjoy getting my ass beaten until it bruises. It turns me on a lot.”

This statement isn’t strange in the kink community, but it can sound rather extreme for those who haven’t been initiated into the rituals and activities of BDSM.

“How can you enjoy being spanked like that? It hurts!”

Most masochists would answer something like, “I don’t know why. It just turns me on.”

Not content with this answer, I decided to look a little deeper into the mechanism that can turn pain into an orgasm.

The Mechanisms of Pain

Pain perception, also called nociception, is the mechanism that triggers a response to potentially harmful stimuli through the nervous system.

Pain can have three sources: chemical (like an acid burn), mechanical (like crushing or cutting) or thermal (hot and cold). Any of these three stimuli strong enough to activate the nociceptors (pain receptors) of the affected area will trigger the transmission of the stimuli to the brain. The reception and processing of the stimuli occurs in different areas. The brain then gives you an impulse to move or do something to avoid or stop the pain.

So, when you put your hand on a hot stove, the nerves in your skin send a message to your brain to tell it that it’s burning. Your brain screams “BURNING” and you remove your hand as a result. That’s generally how it works.

Pretty simple, right?

Pain and Neurotransmitters

The way pain is processed by the brain also triggers other things in your body. Most importantly for our discussion, endorphins, serotonin, melatonin, epinephrin, and norepinephrine can all be released following a painful and/or stressful stimulus. These hormones act as an analgesic (painkiller) and stimulate the fight-or-flight response. So, when you get hurt, your brain makes its own Tylenol and gives you a boost of energy to fight your attacker or run away.

Remember how chemical cocktails influence our sexual and romantic behavior? By receiving pain, you are activating a lot of those same chemicals, especially serotonin and adrenaline. In other words, the same chemicals that turn you on when you’re sexually aroused flow into your body when you’re being hurt.

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How Do We Actually Get Pleasure from Pain?

If we follow this train of thought, applying painful stimuli the right way activates nice, floaty, pleasurable hormones in the brain. If the pain is applied gradually and for an extended period of time, you can get someone very high on endorphins. In the BDSM world, this is called “subspace.”

Here’s how it works, from my experience:

At first, the pain level is low: a nice flogging on the upper back usually gets me nicely started. It doesn’t hurt a lot, but there is a little sting. It feels a bit like pushing your body through a tough workout.

Then, when the intensity goes up, it can really hurt. It hurts to the point of cringing, even screaming. Somehow, it’s bearable, because you already have a little flow of endorphins going. When you’re tied up and can’t fight or flee, the rush of adrenaline is also quite a rush.

As this pain is administered, there’s a point at which I start resisting. This is when the adrenaline has kicked in. I start hissing, cursing at my top, kicking, trying to escape my bonds. (I like to be tied up when I get beaten). The pain rises to a peak, and so does my resistance.

Then, somehow, I give in. Once another burst of endorphins floods my brain, I relax into the pain, and it suddenly – and literally – turns into pleasure. My mind has found a new way to cope: by turning pain sensations into pleasure sensations I can withstand the “torture” longer.

Best of all: I get very, very horny.

Nobody is quite sure how pain can literally turn into sexual arousal. It may be one of the ways that the body interprets the sudden rush of endorphins because it is so similar to “typical” sexual arousal. What we do know, though, is that masochism is no longer considered pathological by the DSM (the bible of mental disorders), and that masochism that’s expressed in a healthy and sane way doesn’t require intervention.

If you find that, after exploring some kink, you’re definitely getting a kick out of being creatively hurt by kind sadists, there’s nothing wrong with you. Your body is reacting to what’s happening to you with hormones and chemicals that make you feel good.

You should enjoy every second of it.

The article link : https://www.kinkly.com/why-pain-makes-us-horny-the-process-that-turns-pain-into-pleasure/2/14117

#IBD4U