The Love Of Your Life Only Comes After The Mistake Of Your Life.

A friend shared this article on their FB page a while ago, while it’s not technically a blog nor a story about dating, it really hit home for me after the whole Noodle debacle & I really have to agree.

I hope that after Noodle, I can have the love I deserve!

The Love Of Your Life Only Comes After The Mistake Of Your Life.

“Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate.” ~ Carrie Bradshaw

Perhaps we need to be broken first before we can finally become whole.

Painful love is the worst kind of heartbreak. It’s the one we had such high hopes for, the one we gambled everything for—only to find it was a bet that would never be won.

So we break into a million small pieces of ourselves and wonder how we could have gotten it so wrong.

We make mistakes in love.

We choose people based on the lessons that our souls need to learn without realizing that it’s usually those difficult lessons we need to experience the most.

We can’t be changed by ease and we can’t have our minds broken open by the mundane—instead it can only happen when we are left with nothing but ourselves and our regrets.

Maybe there is no such thing as a mistake if we indeed needed it to learn more about who we are and how we love, but still there are those loves we wish we could rewind and just take back. The ones whose endings were too painful for us to want to permanently claim as part of our history.

But no matter how much we wished that this love was something other than what it was, it will never change the reality that the only reason we needed this love in our lives was to break our hearts.

The thing is, we need that big mistake to help propel us toward the love of our life.

We need to be broken in order to find out how we want to put ourselves back together.

Often times the biggest mistake of our lives is a relationship that we should have walked away from the minute it began—or at the very least should have let go of long before we actually did, and way before it all went downhill.

But we didn’t, and it’s not because that love was meant to be, but because without it we might never have realized what love truly is.

We always have the choice to stay in a relationship that is a constant battle of wills and ideals. Yet, no matter how many times we hope it will end differently, or just maybe work this time around—it never does.

This is because it’s not meant to.

Our mistake is meant to end, usually bitterly, and often catastrophically. Its purpose is to rock us to our core and challenge our very self and our beliefs about love.the mistake only comes after the love of your life.pngWe are meant to question what went wrong, and to wonder what love really means to us. This isn’t an overnight process , but one that we need to take the time to immerse ourselves in until we no longer hide from the truth that our hearts whisper.

It’s a state of healing that lets us know that we can send someone our love, but we can also walk away with our heads high and our faith strong knowing that we haven’t messed up the best thing we ever had.

Because the love of our life is out there waiting for us and when we meet there will be no question about why we needed to have our hearts broken in the way we did.

There won’t be battles to conquer, or qualities to be changed. There won’t be unfulfilled needs, or drama around every corner. In reality, this love is going to show us why none of our previous relationships worked out.

Because all along they were only leading us to this—the person who was created just for us, and somehow through the meandering paths that life takes, ended up not being perfect, but still being perfect for us.

Our worst mistake and our deepest heartbreak is only meant to help lead us to the love of our life—because without it, we might never know what that actually looks like.

The love of our life only comes when we are ready for it. When we have broken apart who we thought we should be and instead embraced who we are. This love only appears when we have gained the ability to believe that we deserve what we want.

The love of our life won’t look or feel like anything we’ve ever experienced. It might come softly, or it might even enter as a wrecking ball. It may come dressed as friendship, or perhaps something so hot we thought for sure we would get burned. But, because of that great mistake we are not the same people we once were, so we will approach love differently as well.

We will look for the peace instead of the intensity of the storm.

We will allow ourselves to gaze past the superficial and instead appreciate the energy that this person brings into our lives, reveling in the new-found depths of connection that we are experiencing.

Slowly we will realize that it’s not necessarily who someone is, but rather what type of person they bring out in us that determines whether it’s a once-in-a-lifetime kind of love.

With time, an understanding develops that love should not only feel like it adds value to our lives, but it should also help us become the best possible version of ourselves.

Only a great love can raise us to greatness.

And that’s the thing about the love of our life—it may not end up being who we thought it was, and it may still not come without challenges, but there is just something about it that makes us want to be better.

It’s a love that inspires us, and shows us that perhaps we aren’t scared at all, and that just maybe we haven’t screwed up as badly as we thought we had.

Because finally we realize that our “great mistake” was really a north star all along, leading us to the love of our life.

“Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us.” ~ curiano.com

Author: Kate Rose
Editor: Nicole Cameron
(Source: https://www.elephantjournal.com/2016/11/the-love-of-your-life-only-comes-after-the-mistake-of-your-life/?fbclid=IwAR0KEcBIHZHLfPsOPHLee2h9tZ_oq8isYruQdcDWui5nMmCttiETNT2lQvo)

I can only hope that there is something better out there for me!

Please universe send me something good!

#IBD4U

Rob Rob #2

So this guy… Rob Rob – Well he comes & goes over the year I am with Noodle. This is a bit of a flashback blog post – Remember when I said there was a guy I went for a coffee with & I couldn’t remember who it was? It was actually Rob Rob, which is great that I had written this because otherwise we may never know what happened at that “coffee” date. However, I probably should’ve posted this before. So we’re flashing back right now to that coffee date. But aslo we flash forward too because it’s not long enough for a whole post on its own… Stick with me, it’ll make sense.

I never give Rob Rob too much of my time because of the way he treats me… Always on his terms, always when he’s free – he literally only messages every few days & then disappears… I’ve just spent a year with a guy I fell in love with doing the same, I mean, do I want to get sucked into that with this guy again? We talk a lot & sometimes have sort of phone sex or send pictures, not as much as I used to being that I am with Noodle & I really don’t want to jeopardise that.

However one day when I am on holidays, Noodle is also on holidays but playing his game of I’m not chatting for hours on end, that Rob Rob is messaging & says that he’s finished work that I should give him my address & he’ll come over. I tell him that I am not in the mood to see him, which is true & I am in gym gear, sweaty from the gym but he keeps persisting. He says that we won’t do anything (yeah right!) but he wants to meet me… I am so pissed off with Noodle right now that I am typing out my address before I can stop myself. Rob Rob says he’s on his way, he’ll be 40 minutes. I consider having a shower but I think fuck it, this guy can meet me as I am. I need to see other people, I’ve told Noodle at this point that I am seeing other people. So fuck him.

I see Rob Rob pull up & he has the same car as Noodle, FUCK. It scares me a bit, I think it is Noodle. A similar height guy gets out the car but he’s fairer than Noodle, so my heart stops pounding so hard when I realise it’s not Noodle but I still have to do a double take because they have a similar build, Rob Rob is probably a bit bigger than Noodle, but they are basically the same height, I can’t help but think, Fuck I really do have a type!

He looks smart in his trousers & shirt with a jacket, a bit formal I think but he has just come from work – it’s a suit & he looks good. I think I fucking should’ve showered. I’ve probably been talking to this guy on & off for 2+ years at this point & this is the first time we’re meeting face to face & I look like shit when he looks good!? FUCK… He knocks on the door leaning on the bricks with his hands in his pockets & I feel teeny tiny with him. He may even be a little taller than Noodle, he comes inside & we sit on the couch, I offer him a drink.

We talk about bullshit & mostly guys I’m fucking. He’s always keen to hear my stories about who I’m fucking & likes the details. This guy has seen me naked via video chat like a hundred times, but I’ve never felt more vulnerable than I do with him right now. I know I would want to fuck this guy – he has some weird pull on me too, not quite th same as Noodle, no one has a pull on me like Noodle does. I know Rob Rob wants to fuck me, that’s a given, why else would he drive 40 minutes to see me? Is it just married men that have that pull on me or is it their dominance & stature that draw me in? I mean Noodle is like my Edward Cullen from Twilight but Rob Rob is like my Jacob Black… I am stupidly addicted to both in very different ways, one more than the other, but fuck, I never thought of it like that before! Hahaha… (Yeah I love twilight btw!)

Rob Rob asks me to show him my toys, I know this isn’t a good idea but we go into my bedroom, I sit on the edge of the bed & open the draw of my bedside table to show him what’s in there. There are a lot of vibes & lotions, some other toys… He starts rubbing himself & I think fuck, I do want to do something with this guy but Noodle is in my head. I want this to be Noodle standing in front of me. I hate that. I feel sorry for him that Noodle is on my mind. But he doesn’t seem to notice; he unzips his fly & pulls out his cock. Obviously I’m very familiar with it over video chat, but in real life, at the height he is, right now, he’s basically at the perfect sucking height right now… I do think maybe I should suck it, that’s not that bad, is it? But I don’t. I don’t know how I restrain myself but I do. I don’t even touch it… I want too but I am now 100% loyal to Noodle, even though he’s treating me like an option right now & I said I would see other people, I don’t want to fuck things up. I know how jealous Noodle gets.

So fast forward a little to a few weeks after it ended with Noodle, Rob Rob & I talk on & off but we kind of back off a lot. I am totally still in love with Noodle & things are a bit better. But when that all comes crumbling down around me about Noodle & I know the things I know about Noodle & his partner, I need sex with someone else… I was waiting to fuck other people because I always thought Noodle would come back to me, but fuck it, I need to move on to stop picturing Noodle when I make myself cum – which hasn’t been that often either. FUCK. I’m actually also chatting to a guy from the anonymous app who is coming over tonight – a guy who you’ll read about soon (Crows), but when Crows tells me he’s not entirely single I think FFS, so he’s not going to be the distraction I need, so when Rob Rob says he’s home & that I should come over, I reluctantly agree…

Rob Rob Cheating mistakes.png

I rock up at his house, wearing some sexy lingerie & a dress, I know he will appreciate what I look like… When he opens the door, I forgot how tall he is, I feel like an actual midget, even though I am in heels too. We walk in the door & he’s kissing me right away, this is the first man to kiss me since Noodle. It feels weird, but at least he’s a good kisser, he pushes me into a room which I am hoping it’s not their bedroom, I can’t really tell but there are clothes in the wardrobe & it does seem like a woman lives here – He tells me later it’s their spare room. I can’t believe that I am fucking another married guy, did I not learn my lesson? I mean there is no way I could fall for Rob Rob, he has kept the boundaries, I mean I don’t even think he knows my real name! (even to this day I don’t think he knows!)

He lifts my dress off over my head & then I am standing in my wedges & lingerie feeling anything but sexy. He looks at me with reassurance, pushing me to my knees to suck his cock, which I do & he calls me a good girl. I cringe because I used to hate it when a guy would call me that, but Rob Rob actually got me used to it in the beginning & within a few months with Noodle, he made me love it. I cringe because it’s the first time I’ve heard it since Noodle & it’s not from Noodle. Weirdly these 2 guys have a similar cock & he fits in my mouth, I like sucking a mans dick, so I enjoy him forcing himself in my mouth. He gets naked & pushes me on the bed, I lay there wondering if I can go through with this, but I look at him & realise I do want it. I just weirdly feel like I am cheating on Noodle with this guy. However, I must remember it is now over with Noodle, he is having crazy hot sexy with his partner that he used to have with me. I am clearly just a distant memory to the man I am so deeply in love with.

I obviously have to bring a condom with me, which is ok because clearly he won’t have any & mine are latex free ones, I prefer to use anyway… He fucks me for a while with him on top before we switch it up & I’m on top of him, riding his cock & rubbing my clit I actually cum while riding him – which surprises me, I didn’t think I would be able to cum with him but I do…. He tells me that he’s never cum with a condom on ever… Really ever? Surely not… But I mean that was pretty hot sex, of course he was going to cum. I mean, nothing compares to the sex I had with Noodle, but at least it was good!

Rob Rob & I don’t really talk much for a while & I never catch up with him again. He does his disappearing act as usual for weeks on end, I refuse to message him first as my usual thing. But then when he comes back online, he tells me that he & his wife have started swinging, that she fucked someone else! WTF dude! I really hate that I seem to just always be a fluffer for these men! I don’t know why this hurts me so much, but I feel like shit when he tells me. Again we stop talking for weeks maybe months. I am still reeling about Noodle, but now this woman is giving her partner what he wants, so I am no longer needed, even as a friend… I feel so used TBH. I am redundant with my own sex life!?

#IBD4U

What The Fuck Is There To Do In Adelaide?

I refuse to believe that there is nothing to do in my little “country” city of Adelaide. With approx 1.3 million people living in this city, I am in disbelief that pretty much all my dates I been on, have been:

  • A drink at a pub
  • A coffee date
  • Dinner & a movie
  • Netflix & chill

I think this is lame as fuck for Adelaide & me. Surely there is more to do, something fun, something exciting that also shows my fun side. Remember my friend telling me to show my fun side way back in the first blog Pilot?!

This blog came about because I dated a guy who’s favourtie thing was playing mini golf – it was even on his profile when we met, so one night I booked us in for a game of mini golf at Holey Moley, where we ended up playing both courses. Because of his reaction about how excited he was to go before we got there & afterwards him telling me how much fun he had, talking about it days later, that we should do more fun stuff, that I started to think, what the fuck is there to do in Adelaide?

When I posed this question to myself, I was spending the next day driving to Port Pirie with a colleague so I said to her that we need to think of “fun dates” in Adelaide. So this list isn’t just complied solely by me, she had a few ideas & was also able to google as I drove but of course the blog is written by me.

Our list included all the usual things listed above, mainly revolving around food, but when I explained it was for an out of towner, who is a fussy eater (no cheese) who’s on a strict diet so doesn’t drink a lot of alcohol, but is adventurous, that we need to come up with fun things, not just dinner or drinks. However we are also restricted to a weeknight date! WOW, this sounds really hard! I wanted fun ideas like the mini golf & so this is what we came up with!052816 (2)

I’ll write a brief explanation for you too – so you can find it in your state if it’s not called the same thing where you are.

  • Holey Moley – Indoor mini golf. (https://www.holeymoley.com.au/)
  • Intensity – Arcade video games, air hockey, car racing simulators etc. (https://intencity.com.au/
  • Bowling – 10 pin bowling in gross shoes.
  • Winery Tasting – Find a winery with food & make a day of it, I love a sunny winters day & some wine tasting. Even do a brewery tour if wine isn’t your thing.
  • Adventure Rooms – Aka Escape rooms, using clues to get out of the locked room. (https://adventurerooms.com.au/)
  • Ice Skating – Find an outdoor rink, usually pop ups in Glenelg or the city.
  • Aquatic Centre – I thought this was weird (mainly cos I was worried about them seeing me in bathers, when my colleague said that she assumes he’s already seen me naked & this is something fun she does with her partner sometimes for a swim, sauna or spa.
  • Sporting Event – Football, motor sport, cricket or tennis. Amateur or professional, just get amongst the atmosphere.
  • Beach House – Used to be Magic Mountain, the waterslides, dodgem cars, mini golf, arcade games. (https://thebeachouse.com.au/)
  • Laser Tag – I did it for the first time a little while ago with work people, so was so much fun, in a group, not sure how it’d go on a date with only 2 of you.
  • Tree Climb – Adelaide has a tree climb which I’ve done with my gym friends, it was so much fun. (https://treeclimb.com.au/)
  • Bounce – Trampoline arena, pretty much a warehouse full of trampolines. (https://www.bounceinc.com.au/)
  • La Sing – A karaoke bar in the city, but probably any would be fun. (http://lasing.com.au/)
  • 8 Ball – I have a pool table in my lounge room, that we all know too well… I have sex on it more than I play pool on it. So, going out to play pool might be a better idea!
  • Trivia Night – Often at pubs, go join in with randoms or make your own team.
  • Mega Adventure – A giant obstacle course, must not be scared of heights. (https://megaadventure.com.au/)
  • Comedy Show – I’ve seen a comedian target a couple on a first date or a couple very early in their relationship, so be careful about where you sit. (https://www.adelaidecomedy.com/)
  • Paint ball – I’ve never played but think this could be fun too, even inflict a bit of pain!
  • Go Cart Racing – Careful with this as guys can get a bit too competitive.
  • Latitude – It has everything, indoor rock climbing, trampolines & am obstacle course thing. (https://latitudeair.com/)
  • Lawn Bowls – I’ve done this is big groups, but I’m sure you can do it in smaller groups too.
  • Concerts – Any concert will do.
  • Mount Lofty Hike – Any hike would be fun, even a beach walk would suffice.
  • Moonlight Cinema – cinema in summer in the park. Take wine & cheese for a fun mosquito bitten night.
  • Kayaking – You can hire kayaks so you don’t need to own them, but it’s something I love, however not been a good idea for a first date!
  • Garden of Unearthly delights – When the fringe is on, it’s an amazing place for food, drinks & a random show.
  • Day trip – Hahndorf, Victor Harbor, Whispering Wall or Gumeracha

So I think we did pretty well with the list. I never want to be a boring girlfriend & I think that this will help that along the way. Some of these things are very adventurous & I guess you might need a relatively higher level of fitness & possibly trust that the guy you’re dating isn’t just going to race ahead & not help you if you get stuck on an obstacle. Hahaha. However this also could be a good way to tell if they’re a keeper or not.

Have you got any other ideas?

#IBD4U

Guest Blog: Erotica – For Her

Erotica Thursday’s is back (for today only!) This is a erotica story written by my male friend… I like reading stuff from the men too!

This is a similar fantasy that I’ve enjoyed but have also experienced (Story to come!)

Here’s a link to my erotica scenes… Scene one – Nipple Bells, Scene two – Wake Up Call , Scene Three – His Orgasm & Scene Four – The Wake Up Call , Scene Five – Blindfold, Scene Six – Shower, Scene Seven – Anticipation, Scene Eight – Watching, Scene Nine- Quick Fuck, Scene Ten – Her Surprise & Scene Eleven – Prick.

Enjoy!

For Her

The mood in the house is quite uplifted. I bounce around the living room to my favourite song. The bass from the speakers reverberates from the floor boards. The warmth from the fireplace radiates throughout the room. I pour myself another glass of wine and lay back in the recliner, gazing out the window. I look at the clock. 5pm. A smile appears on my face. A sense of excitement overwhelms me as I see his car pull in to the driveway. My man is home. I take one last quick look in the mirror. I’m wearing his favourite red lace lingerie. Letting him know that I’m in desperate need of hot animal sex. The thought of his hands on me, controlling me, has me ready and eager. I watch him get out of his car. The greasy, dirty, hi-vis outfit encompassing his body, is my favourite sight. His dark sunglasses covering those baby blue eyes. The image of him is something of my dreams.

He retrieves his esky from the boot of his car and walks towards the front door. I take a deep breath to centre myself as I open the door. His smiling face drops to a sly, cheeky grin as he sees me. He stumbles on the front step. I reach for his hand and pull him inside. Without taking my eyes off him, I take his esky from his hands, throwing it on the floor like it doesn’t have feelings and slam the door behind him.

“Don’t worry about your day, or what happened outside that door!” I instruct sensually. “Tonight, I am yours to do with whatever you please, do you understand?”

With that, I push him hard against the door and press my lips to his. I work my tongue into his mouth and melt with the flavour of his tongue that I’ve been craving all day. I wrap my arms around the back of his neck. He reaches down and firmly grabs my ass, lifting me onto his hips. I remove his sunglasses and gaze deep into his eyes. There’s something about them when they look at me. When he looks at me, its like I’m the only girl alive. I know he cares for me deeply. As I do him.

I passionately kiss him as he starts walking away from the door. Pulling away so he can see where he’s walking, he looks at me and says, “Whatever I want, hey?”. I nod childishly, knowing exactly where he’s taking me!

As we reach the doorway to the attic, he kisses me one last time and puts me down.

“Kneel” he commands.

Looking up at him gives me a feeling of being in complete surrender. My master and protector. He reaches above the door frame and retrieves the door key from the hiding spot. He opens the door and instructs me to crawl up the stairs. Knowing this is his favourite part, I crawl up slowly, accentuating my movements. Looking backwards I notice his adoring grin. His eyes fixated on the red lace.

“Whack!”. His hand connects with my right butt cheek, sending delightful tingles of pain through my body. I scurry up the stairs.

“On the cross!” he orders.

I slide my body against the cold, hard, polished St Andrew’s cross, expertly crafted by my masters very own hands. The cold, smooth varnish awakens my skin. The feel on my back is so harsh, but comforting. He straps my hands to the restraints above my head. Running his hands lightly down my body, he grabs my ankles. Spreading my legs, he attaches the straps around my ankles. I cannot move. He walks to the cabinet and retrieves my favourite blindfold. Placing it on me, he presses his lips against mine. His taste electrifies me. Without the sense of sight, I’m more aware of his many other attractive traits. His dirty, oily smell from his work clothes makes me reach out to taste him. He grabs me by the throat and pushes my head back. I moan as he instructs me to be good. I can feel my panties getting wetter as I yearn for him to touch me.

“Bad girls get punished!” he remarks, as he ties a neck tie over my mouth to muffle my sound. Preventing me from trying to taste him.

Suddenly, a sharp pain scorches my breasts. The pressure increases as he tightens the nipple clamps. The pain is intense but pleasing. He tugs on the chain, stretching my already compressed nipples. He pulls further. In my mind I’m waiting for my nipples to tear, but I know that he is in complete control and cautious with his every move. He would never hurt me more than my limits.

He lets go rapidly and my nipples return to my chest. Rebound pain is more intensely pleasurable than the feeling of them being pulled on. My moan is muffled by the necktie. I love being able to scream behind the mask.

He grabs my face and kisses my neck. The polar opposite soft, sensual, contrasting feeling makes me weak at the knees. I love when he creates contrasting sensations!Erotica, for her.pngHe kisses me downwards. Along my neckline. Over my breasts. I’m yearning for him to continue. He complies. He grabs at my waist and kisses me just above my spot. I push my hips into him. The warmth of his tongue gently touches my button. I moan louder as he starts drawing circles around it. Pulling me apart, he pushes his tongue slightly inside and my body collapses slightly into my restraints. He pulls away, back to my clit and runs his fingers around my opening. Pressing ever so slightly on my muscles, he makes me relax around them. Timing my hips with his fingers, I rotate around him. Slowly he pushes his way inside, pressing firmly along my front wall. He pushes his fingers in their full extension. I scream as he presses hard upon my pleasure spot, that he knows all too well where to find. His mastery of his fingers inside my body makes me grind my hips, harder against him. Faster and faster his fingers move against my front wall. The pressure is building, I can feel that familiar feeling is coming. He can sense it too. Increasing in speed and pressure he presses firmly against my spot. My muffled screams get louder and louder behind my necktie gag. The sensations swell throughout my body and the blood rushes to my head. I feel the liquid escape my body. The sound of his fingers, squelching inside me as he slaps them around, in complete control of my body. I collapse further in my restraints as the feeling subsides throughout my body. My head drooped as low as my neck will allow.

He removes my gag and presses his fingers into my mouth. Making me taste myself. I clean his fingers diligently, knowing that it turns him on immensely. I don’t mind my taste either, mixed with the flavour of his hand. He removes my blindfold and I stare at the floor beneath me. My satisfied face stares back at me in the wet polished floorboards. Totally spent and exhausted from the attention that my man just gave me.

As he massages his hands along my legs, I feel the blood return. The sensation of touch appears in my legs once more and I find the strength to stand on my own feet again. The sensations continue as he runs his hands up my torso, over my breasts and to my face. Lifting my head, our eyes meet. His face is awash with content smugness. He kisses me on the lips and returns the blindfold to my face.

The feeling of the rope around my waist is soft and sensual. As he ties my hips to the St Andrews cross, I feel something unexpected is about to happen. I cannot see what he is doing. I feel something spherical being pushed against me. As I feel the rope cinch tight against my body, I realise what he’s done. He’s tied it against me, pushing firmly on me.

“Im going to have a shower, I will be back shortly!” he exclaims.

“Don’t you fucking dare you bastard!” was my desperate reply.

He kissed me on the lips and then I feel him move away. My focus turned to the spherical pressure on my button, knowing that in any second, I may or may not be in severe uncontrollable discomfort until his return.

The feel of the headphones being placed over my ears was distracting enough. My favourite band starts playing. My master knows me well. The intro builds. The singer’s voice screams through my head. I cannot see or hear what my master is doing. I cannot move, restrained to the cross. Almost all my senses have been removed and I am unaware of my surroundings. The song builds toward the bass drop. A gentle kiss on my lips just before it hits, then as it does…..

“Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz”. Trapped in restraints, with no awareness of what’s around me, and a hitachi wand tied firmly against my clitoris while my master leaves to have a shower…….

#IBD4U

 

Guest Blog: Locked Out Of Heaven

Another Guest Blog from a reader of mine. I love these stories… I hope you do too! Breaks up the ongoing stories I share.

I believe this was another bloggers stories, but I don’t have the link of where it is posted!

Bit of a short one, but a good one! Hahaha.

Hope you enjoy anyway.

Locked out of Heaven

I hadn’t been separated very long, and as any newly single woman does, I went through a bit of a wild phase.

My favourite drink went from hot milo to tequila, my clothes from mumsy to classy single lady on the prowl, hooker heels, red lips, and a whole lot of sass.

Now considering I’ve never been a huge drinker I had to learn to manage my drinks and to handle my liquor.

I was out with the girls, frocked up to the nines, a few drinks under my belt when I saw him. We had locked eyes a few times and I gave him that cheeky smile, liquor induced of course.

Bruno Mars Locked out of Heaven came on and I’d made up my mind. I wanted to dance. I wanted to sexy dance. I wanted to sexy dance with him.

So with that extra dutch courage I hopped down from the stool I was on and strutted over to him, lets just call him Mr Hottie. Not only because he was sexy as fuck, his body was rock hard muscle, but when my hands found their way under his shirt he was warm, no, hot, to touch. Argh! Got there way too early. Rewind…

As I swayed my hips over to Mr Hottie, I reached for his hand and asked him to dance expecting him to oblige, however, he chose this point that he decided to play shy and told me he couldn’t dance.

I laughed and told him “there’s no such thing as can’t dance. Dancing is just like sex and I bet you rock in bed”. Yep. Good old dutch courage because this girl would never have said that to a stranger sober.

And with that I led him to the dance floor, stood in front of him with my hands on my hips, rolled my hips and then raised my hands in the air and with one I slowly sexily ran one hand down the inside of my still raise arm, down my throat, between my breasts to my hip, then lifted my hand and bit my finger and purred to him “tell me you can’t dance again”, before hooking my finger into the keeper of his jeans above his crotch and pulled him toward me.

Girl was on fire!

I placed my hands on each of his hips and stood with one of his legs between my two. I whispered in his ear and gave him the sultriest look I could manage, “show me how you can dance, just pretend you are having sex”.

And as the music blared in the club we proceeded to sexy dance to the sound of Bruno Mars. Hips rolling, hands wandering, neck kissing, ear sucking, heart rates increasing.

And by the end of the song, Mr Hottie showed me he definitely could dance, and later on that evening he showed me that those dance moves were incredibly arousing, orgasm building, sexy as fuck sex moves as well.

And that ladies is my memory of Locked out of Heaven, Mr Hottie and the night I got crazy on tequila and had the confidence to approach the hottest guy in the club.

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Profile Picture

One very odd thing about online dating is what people think is appropriate for their online dating profile pictures. I know I’ve talked about online profiles before but this blog will be profile picture specific… (When I started writing this post, I didn’t think I’d have much to say, but boy was I wrong!)

As I’ve said before this is your time to shine, your time to show women or men what you look like, who you are via pictures & if they want to swipe on you or not. Why waste this opportunity with a shit picture?!

However, in my experience, on the many occasions I have been online dating, I am still perplexed about men’s choices of profile pictures, I don’t look at women’s profiles so I can’t comment – but I’m sure there is a female equivalent to this blog, things men hate… It any guy wants to send me their thoughts, please do! I’m happy to hear if I am also doing something wrong!

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So, I want to ask. Why do men put up weird photos? Unflattering photos or really unsexy photos?! The most common unsexy one for me is them on a boat, looking proud as punch with a giant fish, that they’ve clearly just caught… Let me tell you something guys, there is nothing, absolutely nothing, sexy about a fish!!! They’re slimey, they’re cold & wet & do you know what? They aren’t cuddly or cute… They’re so unattractive, I just don’t get what message you’re trying to send a chick? Is it a that you’re a mans man? Or that you’re a hunter & gatherer? You will provide for her? I just think, ewww, every time I see one, especially if there is blood on the poor fish! I’d say probably one in every ten profiles contain a fishing charter photo of some sort.

My biggest pet hate for online profiles pictures is a picture with a kid… Especially when they note in their profile bio that the kid is not theirs… WHY! I hate it because I don’t think anyone should put kids on an online dating site… Its weird. So many internet creeps out there, do we really need to expose kids to that when they can’t consent to their picture being shared? Secondly, as someone who doesn’t want kids of my own, I don’t like to see someone that I’m attracted too, with a kid who’s not theirs, because it tells me that they want them, regardless of what they say. However, I do prefer a man with children, so I do want to know that they have kids, but I don’t need to see a picture of you with them to know that you’re a good dad… But seriously, if its not your kid, did you get permission from the parents to post it? Would they be ok with it being on a dating site for you to attract women? Also if you say you’re not looking for a relationship, could you put up a more contradictory photo?! It’s just plain weird, so stop it.

The blurry photo… What is that all about? Why post a blurry photo or even one where you can barely see your face because it’s such bad quality – this happens ALOT… Its 2019, take another selfie, delete that one & start over – did you know, it costs nothing to do that?? Same as the half face picture… It still costs nothing to take a picture of your whole face… Unless you are the phantom of the opera, show me your whole face!

Oooh, sunnies pictures! Fuck guys can look really hot in sunnies & then you look at their next picture & think fuck you were hot till you took them off! It’s not their fault, I get it… Maybe I look better with my sunnies on? Perhaps not though, because I do get lots of comments on my eyes… I’m also a bit like this with hats because I prefer hair so usually when they have all pictures with a hat on, they’re bald. Not much you can do about sunnies & hats but it makes a difference.

So the ol group photo, especially as their first picture, I look at the hottest one in the group hoping that it’ll be you & I’m devastated when its not. I find myself wishing you were the hot one, then I toy with the idea of swiping to get to know you so I can date your hotter friend! (hahaha not really, but what a great blog post that would make!) If you want to post a group shot, to show your fun side, make sure it’s not your first picture. Or all of your pictures – why do men post every single picture of him in a group?

This also follows on with drunk pictures or nightclub pictures… I don’t want to see that you’re a party animal. I am happy for you to go out, I also like to go out but if every picture was taken by a nightclub photographer, then you’re probably not going to be putting in any effort to be with me, even if we are just casual…

What about a photo with another chick? I don’t care if it’s your sister or just a friend, if I think she’s hotter than me, I definitely won’t be liking your profile because I will automatically assume that I am out of your league… Even if she’s not that hot, I always wonder what the deal is & why your not dating the chick your snuggling – who you’ve deemed worthy of your dating profile but not worth enough to date. It always gives me a weird vibe to be honest, but chicks are constantly in men’s profiles, probably more than fish…!

Selfies! I’m all for selfies, most of my pictures are selfies however, do we really need a flexed muscle in the gym bathroom? Or a dirty mirror selfie? (yes I look at the marks on the mirror!) Or a urinal in the background? Lets also not forget the ‘looking down’ selfie – usually in a car, why do men do that?? It gives you a double chin, even if you don’t have one. It’s not a flattering look… & oh dear God, selfies with bloody snapchat filters… Just as men hate them for women, women hate them for men – save them for snapchat not your online dating profile!

What is with pictures of only inanimate objects such as your car, truck, boat or motorbike? You’re not even in the picture! What is with that?! I don’t care what you drive to be honest, even if you’re standing next to it… It just sends the message that I will be always number 2 in your life behind your pride & joy. This goes the same with holiday pictures that you’re not in, I like to see holiday pictures with you in it, or that could be anyone’s picture. Same with a sunset, you’d be surprised how many sunset pictures there are.

I’m not a smoker & never have been, so nothing makes me click the no button faster than a cigarette picture… Fine for you to say you’re a smoker in your bio, most sites ask that now & I do prefer to know this fact prior to dating you, it’s not a deal breaker for me so I’m not opposed smokers but do I really need to see you with a fag hanging out your mouth, usually looking drunk as fuck or blowing smoke rings? Nope!

Memes… Why oh why do men post memes! It’s a online dating profile not bloody Instagram…! Most of the them are offensive & I am pretty open minded, so the fact I find them weird to post, I wonder what other women think. We want to see your face, not how good your google skills are at finding lame dad jokes.

Pets, ok I’ll let them off for having their pet up in their profile, however, if it’s just your pet & you’re not in it, I’m probably going to like your animal more than you, so probably best you just put your face up!

The “I looked so good in 2009, so I’ll put that picture up” photo… WHY? You do realise it’s a dating site & when you meet the person & you don’t look like your picture, they’re probably not going to be interested anymore… How dare you waste my time like that! Note to everyone, use recent pictures!

Only having one picture up irks me the most. Especially when it’s just one of the ones listed above… Because after all these guys I’ve already talked about above, they take off their sunnies or have a clear photo & they aren’t attractive to you, but you’ve only got one photo to go by, so when you meet they look nothing like you’ve seen, it makes the date awkward, unless they’re hotter, which lets face it, they generally aren’t… So please put up several clear photos & be confident in how you look!

Now let’s face it, I’ve swiped & matched with all of these guys over the years, I’m not saying I ignore them & you shouldn’t either… But I’m hoping this blog post will help educate those online dating to actually sell themselves, not their friends or bike or someone’s kid or fish… Hahaha…

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Guest Blog: The Writer

Another Guest Blog from a reader of mine. She’s written some stories for us before, this is another story she has for us…!

This is similar to some stories for me, I feel like I am not alone & am thankful that you share your stories with me & allow me to share them!

I love that you’re all involved in my crazy dating life & want to share your similar stories…!

Bit of a short one today, but I hope you enjoy anyway!

The Writer

So, I had been using a kink dating app, testing it out and it linked to my FetLife profile. After I deleted the app I got a message from a man on FetLife explaining that he’d followed me from the app and he wanted to chat with me, if I wanted too. Now, that maybe sounds a little creepy but he writes beautifully and I’m interested in having a chat. I’ll start by saying he’s not my normal type, he’s older by quite a bit and he lives interstate, he’s also in an open marriage. I normally don’t invest my time in people that will be hard to meet up with or married men, even open marriage men. But anyway… I do and I’ll call him The Writer.
We chat on FetLife for a bit and then we move to another chat app. I’m loving the conversations we are having, they’re intellectual, sexy, emotive, curious and we talk about everything, even mundane day to day stuff. I like him. He loops me into a group chat with his wife after a bit, she wants to know who I am as she’s been hearing so much about me. She’s lovely but a little aloof. She’s happy for me to be chatting with her husband, she’s got her own partners outside their relationship that she spends time with and is happy with the arrangement.
After a few months of intense chatting we’re starting to make plans to meet. While this has been going on I’ve met someone locally that I’ve started a relationship with, I’ve been open with him about The Writer and the relationship we have and local boy is onboard for me to meet up with him…until it gets too real and then he wants to tap out and wants me to cease contact.
I really like local boy and want to respect his boundaries and want to give our relationship a reasonable chance of making it. So, sadly I chat with The Writer and tell him where I’m at, he’s sad but understands. We only occasionally message each other to say hi, happy birthday etc… No sexy chats at all.

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Fast forward about a year and my relationship with local boy has gone wonky and we break up. Not long after The Writer contacts me to say hi and we have a bit of a chat about what’s been going on. We chat a bit more over a few weeks and we decide that we’re going to meet, I book some cheap flights and we spend a few days picking an air bnb to stay in. He’s going to come and meet me in Melbourne and we’re going to talk and hug and cry and laugh and maybe have some kinky sexy fun.
Finally the day comes to fly out to meet him, he meets me at the airport and it’s lovely, like meeting an old friend. We check in and head out for an afternoon of exploring the city. Afterwards we head back to the bnb, I nap and when I wake up we make love, it’s tender and heartfelt and nice.
The next day he wakes me up, kisses me and then blindfolds me, he’s touching and licking and playing. My wrists get bound and then my thighs, he walks me carefully down some stairs and sits me on a swing in the lounge. My ass is hanging off the back of the swing, he ties me up harder and ties me to the swing, I’m tied up like a mummy. My senses are heightened and I’m really turned on. He pulls out a flogger and starts flogging my ass, it feels amazing, pleasurable pain. I’m still blindfolded. He stops flogging and I find a hard cock in my mouth he gently fucks my mouth for a bit before getting out a small whip and teasing me and whipping me. He’s playing and teasing. He then fucks me from behind. I’m suspended, tied and blindfolded, I can’t do anything but ride it and it’s amazing. We finish and he lays me on a cowhide rug on the floor and unties me, my body is tingling and buzzing with the release of the ropes and I can feel the sunlight that’s streaming through the windows caressing my skin. He takes my blindfold off and I see the play scene around me and I want to do it all again.
But we don’t and that’s another story.
I leave the next day, The Writer and I still chat, I’m still swooned by his amazing way with words that paint a vivid picture and hit you in the emotions. It’s an odd, endearing relationship we have. I’m glad we have it.

#IBD4U