I met Pilot on an online dating site, I was so nervous to meet him because I hadn’t dated in a while, so I ended up going to the bottle shop during my lunch break for a bottle of wine so I could calm my nerves. On a warm Thursday night, just 2 weeks before Christmas, we meet at a pub, he’s there first so I walk up to him & there’s that awkward hello, the one when you’re not sure if you should touch, kiss on the cheek, shake hands or even worse, wave. We didn’t do any of the above and he was so shy, which made me shy (those who know me, know I am not really shy at all, but around boys I find attractive, I become a giggling school girl), so we stood there awkwardly.

Pilot barely made eye contact with me from the beginning to end of the date, he just looked at me out of the corner of his eye, which I wasn’t sure if I should be creeped out or not, needless to say at the end of the date, he didn’t kiss me goodbye, I honestly thought that was the end of him but by the time I got home, he’d texted me to say he had a good night.

We exchanged emails & started emailing back & forth, somehow we actually arranged a second date on the following Monday night for dinner. I thought surely this time we’ll at least share a kiss on the cheek when we said hello, but when I walked over to him, he barely looked up at me from his phone that I couldn’t make a move to kiss him on the cheek.

Stupidly I felt like I had met the perfect guy from my imaginary checklist: (every girl has one!)

  • British (my secret childhood dream)
  • well-traveled
  • Educated
  • Worked as a professional
  • Bought a house

It all seemed perfect. On the second date, he even went to get the bill, but secretly paid for dinner before I could do the awkward ‘pay the bill’ dance. We then walked to our cars but still, he didn’t make a move to kiss me goodbye.


Still we texted & emailed every day, however it was hard to lock in the next date, with Christmas looming, so on Boxing Day when we were texting, I thought I have to take matters into my own hands so I asked if he wanted to go see a movie, when he said yes, I bought the tickets online & we were off on our third date!

Again no kiss or touch to say hello, no touching or anything throughout the movie, which made me dread the goodbye yet again, but as we were doing the weird shy goodbye, Pilot said he had bought me a Christmas present (I had told him about how my family only give one Kris Kringle present). He said he left it in the car, so we walked to his car, me feeling even more awkward because we parked miles apart & he’s bought me a gift, what the hell could it be? He awkwardly gave me a bottle of wine, (that I suspect it was re-gifted) & it was probably the time for me to initiate a kiss, but I was so thrown by mixed messages that I didn’t do it.

I really don’t know why or how we continue to text & email each other but that continued into the New Year, when Pilot sets up a date but then bails the night before, saying he was really busy, I figure he’s just doing the back off. Yet he texts me the night we arranged to catch up “to see how I am,” I must admit, it was kinda annoying to be told he was too busy to see me , then was able to text me late at night. Against my better judgement, I mentioned to him that I was going to the German festival on the weekend & he said he wanted to go but didn’t have anyone to go with, I replied ‘You should come.’ He text ‘I might, I really want that kiss.’ Maybe he did like me?

I didn’t really hear from him a few days before or much the day of the German Festival, but I was wearing the perfect outfit that a friend had spent so much time putting together for me, I felt good, confident & was excited to meet Pilot for that kiss. As my friends & I were buying our second beer, though 6 degrees of separation in Adelaide, Pilot randomly bumps into us with his stunning girl, my mouth must have been on the floor, my friend even said that I had a judgey look on my face, but he introduces her as his cousin but I’m still caught off guard at how beautiful she was. I let him know we’re grabbing another beer & he says yes but as we go into one line, Pilot goes in another & I never see him again!

My friend decides that can’t be the end, she uses my phone to text him because she’s so angry that we lost him but he doesn’t respond, I drink myself into oblivion & vomit like a teenager.

Sunday morning I text him, just to see if he got my texts because festivals are renowned for having no mobile phone reception but still no response. Maybe he lost his phone?

Finally on Monday I email him to find out what’s going on but hours later I get the goodbye email ‘I’m really busy, blah blah blah.’

No flying off into the sunset for us!


4 thoughts on “Pilot”

  1. Pingback: Bunk Bed
  2. Pingback: Maloo #2
  3. Reblogged this on I've Been Dating For You and commented:

    I’m trying to work out a way to schedule my reblogs so you can get this at 8am & reminisce with me!
    This is the first guy I wrote about, I did really like him & if this type of thing ever happened again I’d like to think I’d act differently. I was so shy & recovering from being massively overweight for years, I should have been spending more time focusing on myself…. Enjoy


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