Origin # 14

As Origin leaves that night, he says laughing “Let me know about our baby” then tickles my tummy & goes. I laugh, but I think about it & realise, holy fucking batshit! FUCK. He jokes but we could’ve just made a fucking baby! I don’t want kids… SHIT! I walk around the house aimlessly at almost 2:00 am, thinking WTF am I going to do… I get a text from him saying “Thanks for tonight superstar, had a great night, love Origin xxx” I don’t reply. I don’t know what to say to that… This guy could’ve just impregnated me & made a joke then left! Why doesn’t this guy ever stay the night?

I take the morning after pill & decide to let him know that I did, oddly I do this via snapchat like a teenager. I send him a snapchat picture of the box & tell him what I’ve done. He offers me money for it, but it’s not about that. It’s only like $20, it’s not about the money. This is the second time in 35 years that I have had to take the morning after pill. I’ve always been on contraception & always basically a condom advert, but I had to take it last time I was seeing him. Fucking hell. Last time it made me a little crazy so I am careful of how I react. I am seeing Max & Noodle at the moment too, so I am going to have to be conscious of how I am with them too. I know I am being weird with Max, but he’s being weird with me too…

I don’t see Origin for over a month, things are still weird with Max, things are going too well with Noodle that I need this – I need a single guy to come along & show me what I could have, what I deserve, not this half ass relationship from married men… Origin is the only single guy I am seeing… I mean I am still chatting a little to Rob Rob, which is just fucked. When Origin & I were supposed to catch up but he forgot to message me because his dad was in hospital – understandable, but the whole bailing thing is getting old. I forgive him for that & hope his dad is ok, I sort of wish we were at the point when I could offer to go to his side… I really like this guy…

It’s the end of June when we catch up again, he’s been talking to me about bringing a weed muffin for us to try, I’ve never had a weed muffin, I’ve also actually never smoked weed before, I have taken drugs before as a late teen early 20 year old, quite a lot when I was partying as a youngan, but I grew out of it & now with my job requiring a drivers license, it’s really important I am responsible. I even don’t even drink more than 2 drinks when out & driving. So it’s been many many years since I did anything.

He calls me in the morning to make sure I am free, this is sort of unusual for him, I assumed he was calling to bail – I almost didn’t answer to be honest… He comes over & we order Indian food again, it’s our ritual, I love it & don’t get it often so I love that it’s our thing. We eat, put on a shit movie that he wanted to watch but it is so fucking shit that we get distracted… hahaha. He offers me a quarter of the muffin but after about 30 minutes nothing is happening that we both decide to have the other quarter each. We hate the movie so we decide to play pool when I realise I am laughing like a lunatic at everything he says… WTF is so funny? Why is my smile so wide? I have to hide my face in my arms all the time to make sure he can’t see it. I am literally laughing at every little thing like it is the funniest thing ever! He is also laughing, it’s like a weird movie… Us just laughing at everything, not to mention playing pool terribly! If this is what a edible is like, it’s not that great… We play a few games of pool before I sit on the couch saying that I am fucking tired. He agrees & sits next to me, we don’t touch but just sit there. We talk for a bit but I start nodding off…

It’s not that late when Origin leaves, like around 10:00 pm, spouting some shit about needing to go, I don’t mind because I know Noodle is spending the day with me tomorrow & I have Sweetie’s birthday drinks to go to, plus I have just become so fucking tired for some reason – like can’t-keep-my-eyes-open tired. As soon as Origin leaves I jump into bed naked, not able to keep my eyes open long enough to plug my phone in…

Later the next day between things, I message him saying that I’m sorry for falling asleep on him but he says it’s ok & that he’s so scattered. I am scared I was an idiot being that one of the last times we saw each other I was a complete tool, biting him… (I still cringe at that even 2 years later!)

We chat a little but over text & snapchat but never meet up again, I then one day I send out a snapchat to all my friends including Origin, but he never opens it. WTF?! Even though he’s the only single guy I am seeing, I seem to be putting all my eggs in the Noodle basket… So I don’t seem to care that Origin never looks at my snapchat.

Ironically, a few days after that, Origin comes up as a friend suggestion on Facebook again, this time his profile picture is of him & a beautiful girl, cuddling up – cosy, like a couple… I know he doesn’t have a sister, I know he wouldn’t be in a profile picture with his sister in law, so all I can assume is that he has found a girlfriend.

Origin Sex Weed Relationship Dating.png

While this upsets me a little, I mean only a couple of weeks ago he was at my house having sex with me that may have ended with a pregnancy & then a few weeks later with a weed muffin & now he’s already in a relationship with someone so much so that they are at the point of changing his profile picture… WTF? Am I seriously the fluffer for men to find the one they want? I don’t know if I told you but Milky also has a girlfriend now too…

I mean as Origin is a single guy (or was a single guy) that I actually liked, I am keen to see where this would go however with Noodle in the picture, I am keen to pursue that chemistry…


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