I walk past Lucy pretending not to see her because I don’t know what else to do to be honest, I’d asked Daizy if we go up to her or if we just walk past & he didn;t know either… So when she calls out my name, we go over to her & say hello. The guy she is with isn’t what I expected her to be with but he seems nice & says hello to us as I say we are just heading outside for Daizy to have a smoke.
When we come back inside we get another drink, we sit with them & we decide to play pool together, it’s a great afternoon to be honest, the cheeky banter with Daizy, has the guy Lucy is with, thinking that we are a couple & have been together for years. We have a few drinks & a few games of pool. I find out that Daizy fucked someone the night he had the hotel room, so I am glad that I didn’t fuck him that evening too…
We tell this new guy about the podcast & what we’ve been doing, what we’re planning etc & he thinks it s a good idea. I think Lucy may try to get him involved but honestly, it’s hard enough getting the three of us together & then three of us (particularly me) not talking over someone else without adding in a fourth person.
When we leave the pub, I drop Daizy back at his car, we go inside for a bit & some more random recordings, mainly for ideas. As I drive off, I am not one street away before Daizy calls me – also let me tell you he has an old bomb of a car & a tablet for a phone so there is no bluetooth but he’s asking me what I am doing, where I am going. I say that I am going home, it’s a Sunday night, it’s late, I have an hour drive to get back down south. He asks me to pull over & he’ll catch up to me, to go back to his place.
I pull over & he gets in my car. We sit & talk for about an hour. A whole fucking hour on why we shouldn’t have sex… I want too because there is some tension there, but I also don’t want to ruin the podcast, I finally have someone willing to commit to it. I’ve been able to find girls easily but never a guy & I definitely think it needs a guy on it. I finally convince Daizy that I am not coming to his house (his dads house or his sisters, it was never quite clear where he was going to take me) & that I am going home to my house. He calls me again when I am driving home. As does Lucy.
The following week he’s doing a cash job for his mate at Port Adelaide, he’s an electrician so he asks me to come down & see him, which I do… but there is no power so we sit in my car & he sits outside the car smoking, just chatting about the podcast, having a beer while we chat. To be honest, I don’t know what the purpose of this visit was because it was pitch black inside & he was still working there after I left with no power. He wasted the daylight chatting to me! We have the same conversation about us having sex & the podcast. It doesn’t really extend beyond those two topics anymore – not that it really ever did anyway. When it does, I feel like Daizy is talking at me, he isn’t really paying attention to my face because I feel like I can’t say anything against his rants. So I just don’t, I just listen. & then he apologises because he knows that he’s ranting.
He also offers to do a cash job for my brother, so I swap numbers & he meets my brother, his wife & their two kids… I guess he doesn’t care, money is money. But I feel weird about it. He is also been offered a job in Port Pirie, which he starts in a few weeks. He talks about Lucy & I coming up to Moonta to meet him & do some recordings, smash out a whole bunch, which I am keen to do now that we’ve recorded some, I want to record some more & get this going!
The next weekend I have a friends birthday & I am hoping he’ll come with me to it, it’s casual & low key at her house. But he never messages me to say he’s on his way so I get pissed off… He calls to tell me he’ll come over to mine after I’m home that he doesn’t want to be around a lot of people… Yeah ok, whatever. But when I get home I am tipsy & I get into bed, he takes ages to get to my house that I basically just go to sleep. We’ve slept together a few times without sex. The first night be was wasted, another time my boy dog slept between us & he called him a cock blocker & now this time…
The next morning, roll over & hug him, I am not sure what comes over me. I know he is leaving soon so I guess we should get this over with, have sex so he can ghost me. We fool around, I suck his dick but he doesn’t make much noise at all that I stop, he rolls over onto me & slides his fingers inside me, making me cum in a way I haven’t ever cum before that I can remember from fingers. We don’t have sex but I figure that’s enough to see what he will do… He leaves the next day to go to Port Pirie to start his new job on Monday. He calls me on the drive up there & he starts to say things like he’s got to focus on himself & he’s not sure he can commit to the podcast etc. Well that came a lot quicker than I expected & I guess at least he told me, rather than ghosting me.
A few days later, it’s Australia day – I think it was a Wednesday this year, Daizy messages me really early saying that he can’t do the podcast, that he’s walked away from his new job & just needs to focus on himself. I don’t reply as he says that he’s switching off his phone, also as much as I saw this coming, I’m fucked off! I can’t believe this. Against my better judgement, I didn’t get feelings for this guy but I did like him as a friend & really enjoyed the banter & company.
Later Daizy rings me – I thought his phone was off? – to tell me that he has to focus on himself & he needs to get his head right. He’s going to Moonta to sort himself out or some shit. Would you believe that Daizy was in my life for only 18 days before he pulled this stunt! From when I first met him to him bailing on me. 18 days!
I do hear from him in February, he calls at random times like 4:00 am & then says he was messed up, I reply that I thought he was off the drugs & he says shit reply. Well fuck, I’m not here to sugar coat your bullshit. I hear from him again in March when he is in Adelaide & trying to catch up with me but I don’t want to travel north & he doesn’t have a car. When we do talk on the phone he explains what was going on during those 18 days before & after. But he says that he was homeless… Ok that makes a lot of sense because he could never tell me what suburb he lived in. He also says he thought I liked him more than he liked me & felt like I was falling for him. I actually laugh out loud at that & ask what I did, he just said he had a feeling. I’d really love to know what I did to make him think that. However he ends the call by saying “I love you” I assumed as a friend but I have no fucking idea…
I message him in June to see how he is, mainly I want to tell him that his blog posts are going up, I feel like he has a right to know but I get nothing at all from him. Even now…
#IBD4U
I've Been Dating For You 