Birthday – Page 2 – I've Been Dating For You

Guest Blogger: The Internet’s for PORN!

I agree with this 100%… I used to be one of those chicks who was annoyed her boyfriend watched porn, especially when I found a massive porn collection that was never shared with me… But it’s so normal, everyone in their life has probably watched some porn.

Now, these days, I go through phases with porn, I don’t watch it a lot but I like to watch it. I have specific tastes in what I choose to watch too. I even have specific tastes on porn stars that I like to watch too… I won’t just watch anything! But I definitely think that people should watch porn if they like it & not be afraid to talk about it!

I have also recently discovered that my new smart TV’s have internet browsers, so I can watch porn directly on my TV… It’s annoying to use the remote control, so I think I prefer using my phone however, wow, I watched a lot of porn once I discovered that…

These tips are spot on, I used to be a bit of a starfish lover, but obviously had a sexual awakening & am told by quite a few men that I am nothing like a starfish lover! (Which is always good to hear!)

Porn is fun! Porn is fun alone, porn is fun with your partner, even your own homemade porn is fun (yeah… stories to come! hahaha) Find the type of porn you like & have fun with it!

Let’s get it off the taboo list too!

The Internet’s for PORN!

Let me start by saying I Porn!

No, seriously; I really do.

As in I watch porn almost every day. Whenever I’m having some solo time, I’m watching porn while I double-click my mouse.

Personally, I see no harm in it. I know a lot of girls out there are put off by a man who watches a lot of porn, because they feel insecure about their own desirability, but let me assure you that it’s not a problem- if he’s still sleeping with you, he’s still into you on some level.

Internet is for porn sex dating.png

His porn choices can also give you a clue as to what kind of bed play he likes, or wants to try out. It’s the easiest way to work out what you’ll be in for, or what your personal limits might be.

For example, I haven’t minded dressing up like a naughty school girl, but I baulked at my foot slave dressing up like one and getting pegged by yours truly.

It can be a great intimacy tool, too. Ask your partner to watch some porn together, and then act out the scene, or indulge in a little solo or mutually beneficial play as you watch. You can also play a game of hold out, and see who cracks first.

The possibilities are endless.

Porn was one of the best guides for how to be a great lay, and I think a lot of women don’t get past their insecurities to see this.

The Pro tips I’ve extracted from porn for real life application are this:

– keep your hands busy; touch him, touch yourself, whatever. Just use them.

– eye contact; it builds intensity.

– participate and/ or take control once in a while; no one likes a star fish!

– don’t be afraid to say what you want.

Go watch some porn now, if you don’t believe me!

She-Wolf xx

If you want to read her blog: https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/155174584/posts/113

Erotica: Scene Six – Shower

Halfway though the series, tell me what you guys a thinking of this fiction!

Here are the other instalments to read again or for the first time… Scene one – Nipple Bells, Scene two – Wake Up Call , Scene Three – His Orgasm & Scene Four – The Wake Up Call & Scene Five – Blindfold

Scene Six – Shower

The sunlight streaming through the window hits my face, it reminds me of a movie scene but this is real life.
I feel his strong arms around me holding me so tight, I never want him to let me go.
I try to move a little & he stirs behind me.
As he rolls over onto his back I roll with him, settling in his nook, his fingers running up & down my bare skin of my back.
I snuggle into his chest, with my arm resting across his torso.
I run my fingers on his side, feeling his seemingly flawless skin under my finger tips.
His hand on my back strokes my hair softly in long stokes, when suddenly he fists my hair & pulls my face to look up at him.
His mouth meets mine, I try to pull away, I have morning breath but his strong hand holds me right where he wants me.
His tongue invades my mouth, exploring & teasing me till I moan against his lips.
When he finally pulls away he releases my hair & begins stroking it again.
His hand runs all the way down my back to my bare ass & he gives it one hard spank, I jump and squeal
“Time to shower”
He jumps out of bed & the shower is on before I even know what has just happened.
I scurried out of bed, being tangled in the sheets, he’s already rinsing shampoo out of his hair.
I feel my face drop, he’s going to be getting out before I even get in.
I open the door a cautiously step in feeling self conscious, like an intruder, my arms twisted lengthways over my breasts as if to hide them.
He ignores my presence & continues to wash his hair.
I’m barely getting any water & am starting to feel like a unwanted guest.
He runs his fingers through his hair while it’s under the spray of the shower, then down his body to his sides.
He makes eye contact with me, I instantly feel reassured, I’d never be an unwanted guest in his shower.

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His movements are quick this morning, he has spun me around with my hands on the wall up above me before I can even think about what he’s doing.
He pulls my hips towards him so I’m almost bent over, then he uses his legs to spread mine to the walls.
His already hard cock is rubbing between my legs & his hands reach around to take my breasts into them, kneading my nipples in his thumb and forefinger.
I push back with my hips, letting out a sigh.
“I want you inside me Sir”
He growls as one hand leaves my breast & guides his cock inside me.
I let out a groan, his hand reaches around to rub little light circles on my clit as he builds up some speed.
He’s pounding in and out, in and out, I really struggle to stand still but he tells me to hold on, so I know to brace myself against the cold tiles.
He changes positions and it’s almost like his cock comes up from underneath me.
He’s deep and fast.
My breathing is rapid and I’m moaning, begging him to make me cum.
He switches positions again, taking both my hips in his hands and really starts pounding me.
I cry out from how deep he is inside me.
He slows down, his hand reach around for my clit again & he kisses my shoulders
“Do you want to cum?”
I make a hmmm sound & push my hips back to take him deeper with his slow thrusts
“Answer me”
“Yes sir, I want to cum for you”
His thrusts remain the same speed & depth but his hand on my clit speeds up but keeps a constant light pressure.
I feel it happening, I’m building up, I start to make the tell tale breathing noises & try to dig my nails into the tiles.
My face ends up pressed against the tiles, I start to lift up to my tippy toes, I feel like my nails will snap off the nail bed with how hard I am trying to dig them into the tiles.
“Cum now’
His deep voice commands of me & my body obeys him.
He picks up the pace, kissing my shoulders as he grabs my hips with both hands, riding my orgasm though to his own.
He cries out & I feel his warm cum fill me up deep inside.
His hands rub my ass & then he smacks it causing me to jump, he always catches me off guard.
He pulls me up against him, while he’s still inside me
His hands run up my belly to my nipples which he take in his fingers tugging them.
He kisses my neck and works his way up to my ear and growls
“I can’t fucking control myself with you”

Guest Blogger: Why I do what I do?

I have decided to be my own guest blogger today!

I get told a lot that I am very brave – maybe I am, maybe I’m just stupid! When other women write to me, they tell me that they couldn’t do what I do, I think why not? I’m nothing special. Some have even told me they have been writing their stories too, but aren’t brave enough to share them – even with me!

I was just like you once!

So I started writing… I wrote & wrote all my thoughts, as a diary (YES this is my diary, so please don’t judge the decisions I make!) Then when I was brave enough, I started posting. But the blog flopped because I wasn’t ready & I was too insecure about my dating life – my writing has also evolved as I have as a person since I started back in 2016. I felt so alone, like no one else would possibly be going through what I was. But I was very very wrong! So I started posting again & bam, almost 1000 followers in 6 months!!!

My aim has always been to empower women (& men), to realise they are not alone – you may feel it because we don’t often talk about this stuff with our coupled friends, but you are definitely not alone! Remember in my About Me, my first ever blog post I talk about how much I felt alone while dating in Adelaide, & even reading other blogs, I felt like my experiences were similar but I still felt alone.

I am sure that there are other women out there, whether you’re in Adelaide or somewhere else in the world, who will relate to the things that I go through on a daily basis, who may feel alone but I hope that this will open your eyes to the fact that you are not alone, there are others out there & even though you keep meeting “Retards in Tin Foil”, I still believe there is a “Knight in Shining Armour” out there for all of us.

I also discuss this in my Bonus Post – FAQ’s where I again want to help, I am doing this as a service.

I started writing because so many people told me too but I also felt a little alone in my dating life. Pretty much all of my friends have partners & the single ones don’t seem to have the same experiences I do. But I thought, I surely can’t be alone in this. So I started writing, then finally posting them & now the feedback I get is how relatable it is to people. So if I can make even one person not feel alone in their dating journey, then I feel successful.

One thing that concerns me, is why do you have so many taboo subjects when it comes to dating? I am into kinky stuff, why can’t I share that with my friends or even family? Isn’t it safer if the people closest to me know what I do in my spare time in case something happens? It’s sort of like a woman being pregnant, I watched my sister have multiple miscarriages early on in her pregnancies, but because of the risks & what society tells us to do, she didn’t tell anyone at work or close friends about the miscarriages & went through them alone or with only a little support… WHY? Why do we have to go through anything alone? Why can’t we start the conversation!

Guest post why I do what I do. Dating. Empower

I was, when I started writing (& I still am) scared about how honest my posts are, but I think you deserve to hear the truth – honest, brutal & sometimes very vulnerable… I know that there are some topics I discuss that some people don’t agree with. (There are plenty more coming too…) But I urge you, if you’re a women reading this, we should be building each other up, we have enough inequality in the world without bringing each other down. So when you see a post that you may not agree with, I will appreciate your support as you read my journey.

I don’t regret anything I have done, I mean I would definitely change some things if I had my time over, however I don’t need judgement, I can’t change the decisions I made at the time & remember they were right for me at the time. These decisions have led me to who I am today.

Remember also that these blogs that you are reading are not written in real time. I explain in Bonus Post – FAQ’s why that is. I want to be respectful to the man I am dating, but I also personally need time to reflect on what happened too…

I also get asked a lot how old these stories are. I don’t post as I am dating these guys, mainly because I want to live in the moment & enjoy it but also because I never know what might happen. Many of these stories are quite some time ago, some more recent, they aren’t in any particular order but I do try to keep the time line straight. Especially when posting multiple stories about a guy & when they intertwine with other stories (When I’m trying to juggle men). But rest assured, I do have enough stories over the last decade to keep this blog alive!

I am currently busily writing about the last few years plus still dating to ensure the survival of the blog & find my retard in tin foil but if I do say so myself, my life does get a little juicer as I get older. (They don’t call it dirty thirties for nothing!) So stay tuned, but read at your own risk of knowing too much about me!

I love all your kind words, I am so thankful that my passion project has been so successful to date… Including my erotica fiction!

If you know who I am, I am sorry, but I do always say read at your own risk – So clearly you’re intrigued by my life, or you wouldn’t still be reading! Hahaha. Enjoy!

But more importantly, I just want us all to start having those uncomfortable conversations with each other, lets empower each other as women (& as men) to be supportive, not trying to bring someone down…

Erotica: Scene Five – Blindfold

My fiction erotica… If you follow my blog, surely by now, you can definitely tell why I was writing this?

Here are the other instalments to read again or for the first time… Scene one – Nipple Bells, Scene two – Wake Up Call , Scene Three – His Orgasm & Scene Four – The Wake Up Call.

Scene Five – Blindfold

I lay there feeling so sated but he hasn’t cum, so I know there is more in store for me.
“You never told me that you could squirt”
I go bright red, I am still covered in his now dry cum & also my own.
He touches my blushing cheek
“Don’t be ashamed of it, I love it. Knowing I turn you on so much. Fuck it’s sexy.”
I smile feeling reassured.
I love that he can read my emotions so well & does everything he can to make me feel at ease.
I trust him wholeheartedly.
Before my breathing is back to normal, he gets up off the bed.
I hear a draw open & close, I can’t move, I am so spent from my multiple hard orgasms.
Plus who even knows what time it is.
I feel my head dip a little where his knee hits the bed, he’s kneeling by my head & I open my mouth thinking he wants me to suck him.
One of his fingers rests on my chin & closes my mouth.
He puts something on my head & I realise he’s blindfolding me, as everything goes dark.
I wriggle in my restraints.
What does he have planned for me?

Erotica couples sex

I feel him retreat from the bed & I can hear noise but I can’t work out what he is doing.
Then I feel something tickle my foot, I twitch, I realise he has a feather as it runs up to my knee, making me squirm & moan.
“Do you like that baby?”
“Hmmm, yes sir!”
He runs the feather up my leg, over my belly, across my nipple then up my arm, where he moves to the other arm & comes down doing the exact same on my other side.
When he reaches my other foot, he takes the feather away, I lift my head to try & see but of course I am blindfolded so I listen intently for where he is.
All of a sudden it reappears at my hip, he runs it from side to side, across the top of my pubic hair.
I am quivering & squirming with every delicate touch.
When he lowers it between my folds, I jump & moan, I pull on my restraints.
Without warning he hits me across my belly with a flogger.
I hear the snapping on the tails hitting me as I squeal out, in pain, in ecstasy, in anticipation.
He hits me again across my breast, I arch my back & let out a moan.
I feel the feather still tickling my clit as the flogger comes down on my legs.
in quick succession, he hits all three places again, I keep pulling on my restraints, crying out louder each time.
He keeps the flogger quickly moving up & down from my belly to legs to nipples.
I don’t even notice that he is kneeling between my legs until his cock is at my entrance, dipping in & out while he flogs my breasts only.
I arch my back trying to take his cock in deeper
“Greedy Girl” he chuckles as I beg him to be deep inside me.
Suddenly he stops flogging me & I feel him undo the cuffs from the bed at my ankles.
With my legs straight in the air, he slides his cock deep within me, I cry out as I’m finally getting what I want.
He starts off with a slow rhythm, deep & long.
He builds up some speed holding onto my ankles wide by his face. My arms still restrained & my eyes still covered.
I bite my lip, he tells me how much he loves to see me bite my lip.
He spreads my legs wide, pulling his cock right out of me then slams in deep, draping himself over my body to kiss my lips, holding my legs out.
His cock pounds me over & over, relentlessly.
He doesn’t let me come up for air, his tongue invading my mouth.
Without even trying I am close to cumming trying to pull away from his mouth to get some air.
With only a few more strokes deep inside me, I cum on his cock, moaning in his mouth.
It doesn’t take long before he is riding my orgasm though to his own.
Finally he stops kissing me & I breathe hard trying to regain some normality.
Once we are both breathing almost normally, his cock still twitching in my pulsing pussy, he leans back over to sweetly kiss me, deep, long & with such passion, I realise then that I don’t ever want to kiss anyone else.
He slides the blindfold off my head, looking deep into my eyes, he rubs his nose back & forth on mine before he kisses me on the lips again.
As he pulls out of me, I suddenly feel empty.
He moves to undo both wrist cuffs from the bed & he pulls me against him with his strong arms around me, almost pinning my arms to me.
I know I am safe. I know I am home.
“Sleep now”
But I barely hear his words before I am asleep again.

Guest Blogger: Why Pain Makes Us Horny

As I have been very vocal about the exploration of the kink world & my sex life, including talking about how much I enjoy pain, I have been looking around for some articles to share with you about why I do…

It’s definitely not for everyone, I get that. & I’m not asking you to try it, especially with just a random or inexperienced man/woman that your dating… If you do want to try, make sure you trust the person inexplicably before venturing into this, also lots of open communication!

I never thought it would be for me nor did I think I would want it, but somehow, I really enjoy it. The more I do it, the more I get out of it.

This article really makes me feel better & I hope it gives you more insight as we delve deeper into my kink scene!

Why Pain Makes Us Horny: The Process That Turns Pain Into Pleasure

“I enjoy getting my ass beaten until it bruises. It turns me on a lot.”

This statement isn’t strange in the kink community, but it can sound rather extreme for those who haven’t been initiated into the rituals and activities of BDSM.

“How can you enjoy being spanked like that? It hurts!”

Most masochists would answer something like, “I don’t know why. It just turns me on.”

Not content with this answer, I decided to look a little deeper into the mechanism that can turn pain into an orgasm.

The Mechanisms of Pain

Pain perception, also called nociception, is the mechanism that triggers a response to potentially harmful stimuli through the nervous system.

Pain can have three sources: chemical (like an acid burn), mechanical (like crushing or cutting) or thermal (hot and cold). Any of these three stimuli strong enough to activate the nociceptors (pain receptors) of the affected area will trigger the transmission of the stimuli to the brain. The reception and processing of the stimuli occurs in different areas. The brain then gives you an impulse to move or do something to avoid or stop the pain.

So, when you put your hand on a hot stove, the nerves in your skin send a message to your brain to tell it that it’s burning. Your brain screams “BURNING” and you remove your hand as a result. That’s generally how it works.

Pretty simple, right?

Except it isn’t.

Pain and Neurotransmitters

The way pain is processed by the brain also triggers other things in your body. Most importantly for our discussion, endorphins, serotonin, melatonin, epinephrin, and norepinephrine can all be released following a painful and/or stressful stimulus. These hormones act as an analgesic (painkiller) and stimulate the fight-or-flight response. So, when you get hurt, your brain makes its own Tylenol and gives you a boost of energy to fight your attacker or run away.

Remember how chemical cocktails influence our sexual and romantic behavior? By receiving pain, you are activating a lot of those same chemicals, especially serotonin and adrenaline. In other words, the same chemicals that turn you on when you’re sexually aroused flow into your body when you’re being hurt.

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How Do We Actually Get Pleasure from Pain?

If we follow this train of thought, applying painful stimuli the right way activates nice, floaty, pleasurable hormones in the brain. If the pain is applied gradually and for an extended period of time, you can get someone very high on endorphins. In the BDSM world, this is called “subspace.”

Here’s how it works, from my experience:

At first, the pain level is low: a nice flogging on the upper back usually gets me nicely started. It doesn’t hurt a lot, but there is a little sting. It feels a bit like pushing your body through a tough workout.

Then, when the intensity goes up, it can really hurt. It hurts to the point of cringing, even screaming. Somehow, it’s bearable, because you already have a little flow of endorphins going. When you’re tied up and can’t fight or flee, the rush of adrenaline is also quite a rush.

As this pain is administered, there’s a point at which I start resisting. This is when the adrenaline has kicked in. I start hissing, cursing at my top, kicking, trying to escape my bonds. (I like to be tied up when I get beaten). The pain rises to a peak, and so does my resistance.

Then, somehow, I give in. Once another burst of endorphins floods my brain, I relax into the pain, and it suddenly – and literally – turns into pleasure. My mind has found a new way to cope: by turning pain sensations into pleasure sensations I can withstand the “torture” longer.

Best of all: I get very, very horny.

Nobody is quite sure how pain can literally turn into sexual arousal. It may be one of the ways that the body interprets the sudden rush of endorphins because it is so similar to “typical” sexual arousal. What we do know, though, is that masochism is no longer considered pathological by the DSM (the bible of mental disorders), and that masochism that’s expressed in a healthy and sane way doesn’t require intervention.

If you find that, after exploring some kink, you’re definitely getting a kick out of being creatively hurt by kind sadists, there’s nothing wrong with you. Your body is reacting to what’s happening to you with hormones and chemicals that make you feel good.

You should enjoy every second of it.

The article link : https://www.kinkly.com/why-pain-makes-us-horny-the-process-that-turns-pain-into-pleasure/2/14117

Erotica: Scene Four – Wake Up Call

Erotica fiction is here! I hope you’re all enjoying my fiction, or am I out here on my own with this? Let me know…

So here is instalment 4 of the erotica series, don’t forget to look back over Scene one – Nipple Bells, Scene two – Wake Up Call & Scene Three – His Orgasm.

Scene Four – Wake Up Call

It takes me a minute to realise we are at a party, I’m wearing a long backless black dress that he has picked out for me.
I know it is so he can touch my lower back as he guides me around the party with a wine in the other hand.
Every touch sends a shiver up my spine, I love the manly way he guides me around the party introducing me to people he knows, just with a touch of his hand to my lower back.
I sip my wine feeling like the most beautiful woman in the world, on the arm of a disgustingly handsome dominant man.
“You look sensational tonight”
He whispers in my ear & I melt like a teenager at the school dance.
I don’t think I can get a bigger smile on my face but then he pulls me in close to his side & kisses my forehead.
He knows what to do to make me instantly wet, there is no better feeling than a man kissing your forehead & with 50 of his friends close by, I feel so special that he is willing to have a PDA with me.
As we stand there he runs his fingers up my arm, I tingle & I want him, I am wet & I want him badly, I reach up to touch his hair but then I can’t move it back down, something isn’t right, his arm keeps touching my arm, across my neck, then I feel kisses on my neck, I try to move but I can’t, somehow I’m restrained.
I feel my nipple being sucked, I can’t work out why he would suck my nipples at a formal party, it’s not that kind of party, is it?
I try to move again, but I realise I am fully restrained & wet, so wet for him. So turned on.
I feel him lick my clit, then suck on it hard, that’s when I jolt up.
All I can move is my head a few inches off the bed, I’m spread eagled, my leg cuffs are attached on either side of the bed, I’m wide open for him.
My arm cuffs are attached above my head too, I look down between my legs & our eyes meet as he continues to suck on my clit.
I moan, throwing my head back on the bed, I was having a dream he was making me wet & in reality who knows how long he’s been going down on me.
I also don’t know how or why I didn’t wake up while he was tying me up, probably because I was so spent. 052816 (16) I don’t even know what time it is but I know it’s not morning.
He licks all the way from my ass to my clit with a long flat slow tongue, but when he gets to my clit he just flicks it around making me squirm.
“Hmmm, you taste so good” his hands pinch my nipples “I want you to cum in my mouth”
“Yes sir”
“Good girl”
He slides his arms under my legs then links his fingers together over my hips, to rest on my lower belly, holding me still.
His torture intensifies, long slow licks paired with flicks over my clit then a suck, then he licks again, flicking over my clit then another suck, he continues this pattern over & over, I arch my back as far as I can, I start to build up as he quickens his actions.
“Please sir, can I cum for you?” my whole body is shaking.
“Yes”
But somehow he doesn’t stop licking but his words are clear
“Cum now”
I do as I’m told, hard & fast into his mouth, he never stops & my orgasm rolls on, my legs shake, my breathing so rapid that its the only thing I can hear.
I wonder when he is going to stop, I am convulsing on the bed with ecstasy, but he just keeps licking, I’m afraid I won’t stop cumming.
He slows down a little & my body regains some equilibrium, but it’s not long before he is building up speed again & my body is only too happy to oblige him.
“Cum now”
Somehow on command my body does, I cum, writhing against my restraints, wanting him to stop but also wanting him to keep going.
“Stop Sir, I can’t cum again”
He smiles against my wet folds, I know that this was the wrong thing to say.
He nuzzles his nose into my clit then slides two fingers inside me.
He finds my G spot easily & starts stroking me on the inside.
“Please, fuuuucccckkkk”
It’s not long before I am close to cumming, this time I know I will squirt.
I try to wriggle away, I’ve always been self conscious of squirting.
Something only one other man has been able to make me do, besides myself & he acted like it was unusual.
“Now, cum now”
As if on command, my body does & I squirt, cumming hard against his hand inside me, his palm on my clit making gentle circles
“Good wake up call?”
“Oh… My… God… Sir…” I say in between breaths “You… are… amazing…”
“You. Are. Amazing.”

Guest Blogger: The Wedding Cake

Here is a guest blogger who also has a blog!

The true romantic in me believes this story & hopes that it is as wonderful as it says it is, however the cynic in me thinks this story is a load of bollocks… Which one are you? Romantic or Cynic?

The Wedding Cake

After all, it’s easy to lose hope when you’re looking for love, isn’t it?

So many tales of betrayal, broken relationships, swiping left and right, dick pics and commitment phobic men (and women) out there in our culture. Sometimes it seems that people have become so interchangeable, so disposable, that it’s become acceptable to discard them without any warning in the cowardliest of the cowardly act of ‘ghosting’ (If we have a term for it, it must be a thing!).

It’s easy to lose hope, right? That good people are out there, looking for the same thing we are: to love and be loved in return – isn’t that the holy grail – or the wedding cake, if you will? But how do you believe in that when so many people lie about their intentions to get what they need?

When friend after friend tells you of their failed attempts to find what they’re looking for: a love so strong, that not even years and/or miles between two people can dull its lustre, that someone would choose them over all the other options they have out there, how can you not become cynical about love?

Recently I was talking to a friend of mine; a fairly busy woman, full-time single mum, upon full-time Italian teacher, upon part-time student who was seeking a moment of tranquillity in her otherwise hectic day at the park in front of the Arts Centre – you know the one?! She sat on a bench in front of a pond and took a deep breath of fresh air, feeling herself relax. She noticed that a man had sat down next to her, and turned to see an elderly, fairly short, weathered-looking man smiling at her. Now, this happens to her all the time, people tell her their stories without any encouragement from her – she has one of those faces – so she smiled back. He asked her, ‘Are you Italian?’ ‘Yes, I am’ she replied, ‘are you?‘ No, he explained, ‘I’m French, but in the war, I fought in Italy. While I was there I met an Italian woman and I never forgot her.’

A secret sucker for a love story (a closet romantic, but she’d be mortified if people knew), she asked him to tell her more. They met when he went to her village in Italy, and after the shortest time, they fell in love. He was mesmerised by her, and though they couldn’t understand each other well (a recipe for a happy relationship in my opinion) they felt like they had known each other forever.

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‘And then what happened?’ she enquired. ‘A friend had told me about Australia, I wanted to go there, and for her to marry me and come with me, but she was promised to another man by her parents. She said she could not come with me, it was not the right time.’ And so he left, unable to pass up the opportunity for a better life, settled in Melbourne and met his wife. They had children and he had a great life here, exactly as his friend had promised, but he confessed that from time to time he thought of his Italian girl. He always wondered what she was doing, but didn’t have any way of contacting her.

Oh, she thought, disappointed… but the story didn’t end there. Many years later, his wife died and, noticing that he was lonely, an Italian friend of his invited him to his home for his granddaughter’s birthday party. He could not believe his eyes when, at his friend’s house, he saw a woman who bore a striking resemblance his Italian girl!! He wasn’t sure that it was her, but he asked, not prepared to lose the chance again. They spoke at length of their lives; her husband had passed away also after they had come to Australia together. All this time, they had been in the same place, but had no way to contact each other! Somehow, fate had led them back to each other, and now they are together.

It’s easy to lose hope, right? But then you hear a story like this…

Here is her blog: https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/156817670/posts/60

Erotica: Scene Three – His Orgasm

Again, here is my fiction erotica. By now if you’re reading my blog, you can see why my imagination was running wild & why this became my porn.

These are the two previous posts that you may want to read first if you haven’t already: Scene one – Nipple Bells & Scene Two – Eight Spanks

Scene Three – His Orgasm

My knees are weak, my legs wobble underneath my body & I fear I’m not going to be able to stand anymore.
His strong arms hold me as he walks around me, to stand in front of me.
He’s hard, having not cum at all, yet I’ve lost count on how many times he’s made me cum in what feels like 10 minutes.
He looks me up & down, he can tell I am tired but I don’t think that will stop him.
His face says it all, it’s like he can’t get enough of me, he looks at me like he doesn’t want anyone else, he looks at me with such desire that I feel a shiver up my spine.
He smiles, knowing what he does to me, I smile back, wondering how this man has such an effect on me.

Erotica #3

He runs his fingers from my shoulders down my arms, I turn my head to watch his fingers tickle my sensitive skin & his fingers lace with mine.
He steps backwards pulling me with him, when his legs hit the bed, he sits down, standing me between his knees.
He lets go of my hands & his rest at the back of my knees, before running up the back of my legs to my ass where he moans, a deep, primal groan that lets me know all I need to know.
He grabs my ass, pulling me to sit on his lap.
I bend my knees, resting my hands on his shoulders.
He feathers soft kisses down my neck, across my collar bone, his hands caresses my ass as I start to wriggle in his lap.
One hand slips between us & between my legs to move my lace panties aside.
As soon as his fingers touch my clit I jolt, its so sensitive & I don’t think I can last long.

He lifts my hips up & holds his cock at my entrance, I want to take all of him but he just teases me, wetting himself so he can slide in.
I moan, tilting my head back & his mouth finds my waiting nipple, which he bites.
As I yelp while he slides my hips down so I am full of his cock.
I am ready to move, I am ready to make him cum, I want him to cum with me this time.
I start to kneel up on my knees so I can feel him pull out of me, but he holds my hips still.
He takes my hands from his shoulder which were giving me leverage to move on his cock, to my ankles.
I whimper knowing his is locking each wrist cuff to my ankle cuffs.
With his hands holding my hips still, I have to lean back to stay balanced, he starts to kiss my neck, I moan, he works down to my nipple where he sucks & then moves over to the other nipple until is standing to attention for him.
“Please, I need to move, I am going to cum”
I feel him smile against my nipple
“Baby, you are going to cum… & cum… & cum no matter what” his deep voice sends a shiver down my spine, how does he effect me so much?
“Pllllleeeeaaassseee” I’m begging like a child, trying to gyrate my hips in his lap, his hard cock deep inside me still.
He doesn’t stop sucking my nipples.
“I want you to cum this way”
“Oh fuck, sir can I cum?”
He smiles but doesn’t stop sucking my nipples
“You may cum when you need too”
I start to try to rock on my hips but he won’t let me move
“Please I need to move”
“You will cum like this” I moan, even though I think it’s impossible without some friction, my body betrays me & starts to build.
My breathing intensifies, short bursts, I try to pull my nipples out of his way but he pulls me closer so that my whole breast is pushed in his face.
I try to move my hands but its pointless, all it does is lift my ankles & push me into his face.
He laughs, yet still has a nipple in his mouth, sucking it hard till it pops out his mouth with a sound.
He then sticks out his tongue and licks, quickly, up & down, making me huff & puff still completely unable to move but feeling every inch of him inside me.
I scream out with an orgasm that rips through me
“Fuuuuccckkkk”
“Ah thank fuck for that” he growls, without even knowing my hands are undone & I’m lying on the bed, still orgasming, my eyes going blurry…
He’s stoking his cock, hard, I know he’s close too, I can’t move I feel like I am still cumming
“Where do you want me to cum?” I moan, rolling my head from side to side
“Answer me” he snaps
“I want… I… want….” I can’t even get the words out, he can tell, so he rips open my corset
“Hold your tits together”
I do as I’m told having not being able to answer him about when I want him to cum
“Open your mouth too” I open it, poking out my tongue slightly for a taste of his cum
As his warm cum hits my breasts, some also reaches my mouth & I know he is pleased as I stick out my tongue to lick it off my chin, by the noises he’s making.
“Good Girl”
He’s smiling & I am done. I roll over on my side, he curls up behind me spooning me.
I’m still covered in his cum, I don’t want to wash it off, it’s like being branded by him.
I feel like nothing can get better than the evening I’ve just had.

Guest Blogger: The Recipe

I love this concept. I was only just talking about this the other day, the fact I have done so many unsafe things in my dating life & how I have been so bloody lucky nothing terrible has happened to me! I am so thankful for that, however this is a great safety tool that all single people should adopt with their friends.

Code words!

The Recipe

Ladies… have you had dessert?

This question could be life-changing…

Yes, that rich, flourless chocolate cake COULD actually change your life, but have you asked a friend recently if they’ve had dessert?

After a recent spate of great and not-so-great Tinder/Bumble/pick up in a local bar dates, in one of our weekly dish sessions, my concerned friend expressed that she was worried that my sister or myself might find ourselves in a dangerous situation. Obviously we always tell each other our location, his name, photo, any random information about him that we have accumulated, but in this imaginary scenario, our usual “are you ok?” message might be met with aggression where we might be forced to reply ‘yes’, when in fact, we’re not ok. So we devised a plan…

Have you had dessert?

A discreet and seemingly harmless question, sent approximately 30 minutes into a date, with a series of code responses:

*Yes, I had chocolate means the date is going very well!

*Yes, I had vanilla means it’s good, but a bit boring.

*Yes, I had pistachio means it’s ok, but I’m ready to go home.

All of the above answers indicate that we are all good. Unfortunately, for my sister, I like to mix and match, so she often receives ‘chocolatey vanilla’, or something completely different. Sometimes, when I forget the code, she gets things like “pancakes with blueberries”, because I actually had that. Or when it’s been really spectacular: “triple chocolate with whipped cream and extra chocolate chips with sprinkles”. Obviously, all men would love to be this one, but it’s reserved for a certain Canadian gentleman… well, they’re his words, but I fully endorse them

If things are not going well…

*No, I’m thinking of having a chocolate sundae means it’s not going well, but I’m ok.

*No, I’m thinking of having some rocky road (get it? The road is rocky?) means it’s getting worse, be on standby.

*No, I’m thinking of having a banana split (split… right?) means if I don’t contact you in the next 10 mins, call or come and get me.

*No, I’m thinking of having a banana split – DO YOU WANT ONE TOO? means get me out now.

And one that we will hopefully never have to use: No, tell Dad to get some donuts means call the police and tell them what’s happening.

We wrote this code laughing hysterically, as my son walked into the room asking ‘oh, are you guys getting dessert?’, but we realised that it’s not really a laughing matter. I mean, realistically, if something were really wrong, chances are we wouldn’t be using code, but it makes it a little more fun…

And let me be clear, this is not about sex… we can have a different one for that

So here I am, writing to you all, sharing stories so we can support each other through good dates, bad dates, heartbreak and excitement and of course, mind-blowing sex!!

I hope you’ll continue to read this and share it with your friends.

Stay tuned for more dating adventures…

To check out this blog: https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/156817670/posts/9

Just as you practice safe sex, please practice safe dating!

Erotica: Scene Two – Eight Spanks

For new readers, I started sharing some erotica fiction that I wrote. Not completely irrelevant to my blogs but not necessarily essential.

I hoped you enjoyed Scene One – Nipple Bells. You may have to read it first for this to make sense as they do flow on from one another…

Here is the second instalment… Enjoy!

Scene Two – Eight Spanks

He leans on me between my legs while I still have aftershocks of my orgasm running through me.
He releases one of the nipple clamps & lightly kisses the sensitive skin, he proceeds to do the same on my other nipple.
The release is bittersweet.
He reaches up to my hands & pulls them down from above my head, unclipping the clips on the cuffs to free my arms.
He rubs my shoulders & I feel so special that he takes the time to make sure I am ok.
He grabs my hands in his hand & pulls me to standing, my legs still spread with the spreader bar attached to my ankles.
I am weak from my orgasm & standing in heels with the bar, I stumble, but he catches me around the waist.
His hands run over my sensitive breasts, while he kisses my neck.
I lean my head back on his shoulder, loving his tender touch.
He whispers in my ear
“Bend over”

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I wonder how I am going to stand through what I think he’s going to do, he clips my wrist cuffs onto the bar between my legs.
His hand rubs my ass that’s poking in the air, I know what he’s planning, he’s going to spank me while I’m standing up.
“I want you to count the spanks out loud, so I can hear you”
“Yes Sir”
“Good girl”
He takes his hand away & I brace myself for the impact.
When it doesn’t come, I peer back to see what he is doing, then he spanks me.
It makes me unstable on my feet, but he holds me by the waist to steady me.
“One”
“Louder”
“One” I cry out
He rubs my other butt cheek & does the same, I brace myself but it’s only when he sees me relax that he spanks me
“Two”
He rubs my ass & in quick succession he hits me twice.
“Three, Four”
Then before I know it, his cock is deep inside me, but then out before I even get used to being full of his cock.
As his cock enters me again, quickly in & out, he spanks me, I let out a yelp
“Five”
He builds up speed, pulling his cock all the way out each time, then pounding into me, I can barely stay standing.
I feel like I am close to cumming again.
He spanks me with each thrust
“Six, I’m going to cum sir”
“You must ask permission”
He tortures me again
“Seven, please may I cum sir?” he groans & picks up the pace, that I am struggling to stay standing
“Please sir, can I cum for you?”
As he pounds into me, spanking my ass one last time he says
“Yes”
I scream “Eight” as if it’s the usual thing I say when I cum
He keeps pounding into me as I cum so hard on his cock, squeezing him as he pulls in & out of me.
As my orgasm starts to subside, he unclips my hands from the bar & unclips the bar from my legs, he stands me up but I am so weak, I can barely stand.
He pulls me upright against his chest, his hands on my breasts again, he leans into my ear
“I’m not done with you yet…”

Cold shower anyone?!

Guest Blogger: 30 Things Women Want Men To Know

I read this via another Blog (https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/135700479/posts/1094) & I found it very interesting.

I disagree with number 2 personally, I’ve said this many times before. However the rest of these are very true for me too!

30 Things Women Want Men To Know

Posted on May 20, 2016 by MaKupsy

I was really trying to avoid blogging about anything concerning sex but I guess it was highly inevitable. Today I am sharing those things most women wish men knew but simply don’t tell them. My personal thoughts are points 1-10 and 30 and the rest of the points are from the women I asked. Here’s hoping no one takes offence but maybe takes notes instead and make sex something both you and your partner enjoy.

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It is not about the quantity but the quality of sex. Why are you trying to have 8 rounds of 2 minute sex?? One session of good sex is good enough and if you are doing things right and hitting the spot then by all means rest assured I am fine.
Size does matter. For me that is, that motion for the ocean line doesn’t hold water. I am a big girl, I like big things.
Sex in the dark? NO, switch on the light please I want to see what’s going on.
If you have to ask “how was it” you know the sex was lousy.
Do no keep asking me how it was; you are not ready for the truth.
Just because the last woman you slept with liked anal sex does not mean the next woman does. Ask before trying to sneak your dick into my ass hole!
I don’t fake orgasms, if I didn’t cum I didn’t cum, it is really that simple.
Oral sex is a big turn on. Eat that pussy like it’s the cure for some life threatening disease! Note I said EAT not small little licks!
Do not bite the clitoris! Just because it is shaped like a jelly bean it does not mean it was made for biting. That is a sensitive organ, be gentle.
Don’t be lazy, put your back in it!
Take off ALL your clothes. Why do you leave some clothes on? Socks, vest, take it off we want to see all your body parts.
Screaming doesn’t mean we are enjoying it. It can mean one of three things. Maybe we just want to stroke your ego and make you think you are pumping us proper, we want you to stop or it’s actually painful. LOL
We don’t always orgasm, but that’s okay. Do not make it a big deal because if you do we end up faking orgasms.
Sex should not always be about a good fuck. Sometimes a woman wants some good old deep, delicious and slow love making.
Change of scenery will definitely spice up the sex. The bedroom becomes boring. Sex in the shower anyone?
We love surprises; introduce goodies like chocolate, strawberries, yoghurt, edible lingerie…
Take a bath! Who do you want to climb on top of smelling like you were ploughing in a field all day?
Sweat is a NO NO. Show up smelling divine and maybe a different cologne every now and again is a huge turn on.
Do not be a selfish lover, wait for the woman to orgasm.
Do not keep switching tempo. We do like variety BUT constantly changing tempo interrupts our flow. Worst time to switch is when we are about to orgasm. Do you have any idea what it takes to finally get an orgasm??? Do not tempt us to punch you in the face during sex!
If a woman is not in the mood for sex she is not. No amount of parading in the room naked will change her mind.
Foreplay is more than just sticking your fingers up her pussy.
Enjoying sex does not make me a freak.
Sex is meant to be fun.
If you expect to get head you better wash up your dick properly!
Women probably love sex more than men but our society has raised us in a way where showing that labels you a loose woman.
Most women are shy to initiate sex but in her mind she has ripped off your clothes and done all sorts of unimaginable things!
Women are horniest when they are on their period. Some actually don’t mind sex during that time of the month.
You don’t know women like that. Just because your friend told you his woman liked this, it doesn’t mean I will like it.
TALK, TALK, TALK! You must communicate during sex. That way you both say what you want. Laughing is even welcome when things go wrong. That’s the whole point of sex, to have a good time. Give specifics and help each other to enjoy amazing sex!

*Side Note – Remember to practice safe sex. If you have sex without any form of contraception, then you may be at risk of a pregnancy (as well as a sexually transmitted infections).

Here’s a link to their blog: https://makupsy.wordpress.com/2016/05/20/30-things-women-want-men-to-know/

Hope you all enjoyed!

Erotica: Scene One – Nipple Bells

So you may remember me telling you that as I journeyed into a kink world, I had already read Fifty Shades of Grey, I then read a real life S&M introduction book, then entering this world with men I was seeing, exploring some kinks, my writers imagination ran away with me… Over the course of about a week or two I wrote 12 ‘scenes’ that were pure imagination at the time & I posted them online. I wrote these with no man in particular in mind (So they’re not written about any one I have posted about), but I know that this is the type of man I would want.

While these have no real relevance to the actual blog stories, I do reference them so I thought it only fair to share with you here, these were also the very first pieces of writing that I ever published, however I have written a lot of stuff in my life… Maybe I should’ve always been a writer?!

Anyway, for the next 12 weeks, I will post on Thursday a scene from my erotica imagination… These are unedited from the original post, except for any spelling or grammatical errors I missed (which is kind of annoying, because as I read & I can see where I can elaborate! Maybe I will add to the story in the future…)

I hope you enjoy & stick with me – I’m interested to hear your thoughts too!

Scene One – Nipple Bells

Sitting in my corset, mask & skyscraper heels, he tells me to sit on the edge of the bed & strap my ankle cuffs on.
I start to fumble getting them on, he tells me to hurry up, he will count to 5 & I must have them on.
My breath starts to quicken & I fumble more as he counts, deep, loud, masculine numbers.
I click the last padlock just as he says 5, he smiles
“Good Girl”
He tells me to do the same with the wrist cuffs, which are harder to put on yourself, he tells me he’s not a patient man & starts to count again.
I don’t know what these cuffs attach too but I know he’ll have something amazing planned for me.
He pulls out a bar, which has 4 clips on it, 2 at each end & 2 in the middle.
He tells me to attach the clips to my ankle cuffs.
Again I fumble with the excitement, I can feel how wet I am getting just from the thought of what he will do to me once I am restrained.
He tells me to lie back on the bed and to dig the heels of my shoes into the bed, bending my knees up & spreading them.
He clips my cuffs on my wrists together & puts them above my head
“Do not move them. Understand?” I nod.
He just stares at me though his mask, our eyes meeting for the longest time.
He moves suddenly & pulls down the cups of my corset, exposing each breast.
My nipples jump to attention, under his gaze & tender touch.
But then he clips a nipple clamp on one, I am caught by surprise & yelp, arching my back as I do, I hear a little bell ring.
He caresses my other nipple & attaches another clamp to it.
“Every time I hear these bells ring, I will spank you”
His deep voice filled with promise, it sends a shiver down my spine & the bells jingle.

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“One”
I bite my lip already knowing how difficult this is going to be for me, a beginner, but I want to please him.
He moves to the end of the bed, standing between my open legs, I hear a click & a buzz then I feel the pulsating vibrations on my clit though my panties.
I wriggle again without even thinking & the bells jingle
“Two” I let out a moan, I’m not sure if because of the vibrator or the anticipation of him spanking me afterwards.

He stands over me, staring as I take in the pleasure & pain.
He starts undressing himself, he’s standing there stroking his cock
“Do you know how hot you look like that?”
I can barely get any words out, as I’m trying not to move because of the bells but also because of the vibrator that’s teasing me.
He reaches down quickly, pulling my lace panties to the side, clicking the vibrator to another setting & resting it back on my clit.
I wriggle again, arching my back
“Three”
I let out an almighty moan
“You must ask permission to cum”
I want to ask permission but I also want this pleasure to go on, however I also don’t want to make those bells ring again. Or do I?
My body starts building & I know I’m close to cumming.
“I need to cum”

“Is that how you ask?”
I bite my lip trying to control the urge.
“Please Sir, may I cum?”
“Good girl”
I know he is pleased, but that wasn’t permission to cum, I must beg
“Please Sir, please, please Sir, I need to cum”
“Hmmmm”
‘”Please sir, let me cum for you”
My body starts shaking & the bells ring
“Four”
“Pleeeeessssseeee”
“Five” The bells jingle again
“Six”
“Fuck, please Sir, let me cum” I wriggle one more time
“Seven”
My body starts to shake
“You may cum”
& I do, hard, fast, shaking all over, shoes digging into the bed, legs spread, eyes closed, back arched
“Eight”
I know the bells are jingling but I can’t even care about that, my eyes are blurry & my orgasm is taking over.
It takes a minute for my body to stop moving from that orgasm
“Good girl, now I will spank you eight times…”

Guest Blogger: The Impossible Situation #2

I’ve been interested in this story to see where it went & I was interested in your feedback… Thank you She-Wolf for letting me share your blog! I love that I am not alone with crazy dating stories…

Remember that this is like her diary, she can’t (just like me) change what she did.

Update on The Impossible Situation

Predictably- it ended.

I can’t say that it ended well. I can’t say that I don’t have regret for how it happened, or how we both behaved, but it was for the best.

He and I had been growing apart.

The person I had to be in order to be with him was far removed from the me I wanted to be; that I’d fought to become. I didn’t love having to support a family that wasn’t mine (because he “couldn’t” work, and that left the responsibility to me). I hated having no time to myself. I loathed always having to be on because I had to be responsible. It pissed me off that a thirty-something year old man was still attached to his umbilical cord, and was the worst mama’s boy I’ve ever encountered.

The experience taught me that- while I loved his children for who they are and how much joy they brought to me- I’m not meant to love someone else’s children. I am not cut out for parenting at all. I don’t have the patience. I don’t have the desire deep in my soul to give myself up to be the world for a tiny little love terrorist that needs me endlessly. I’m selfish; I love sleeping in and going shopping and having the freedom to do what I want, when I want…. and I’m totally ok with that. Plus- my cat hated the kids; to the extent that she’d crap on their bed in protest of their presence.

The other big turning point for me- apart from not wanting to be an insta-Mum- was reconnecting with “The One That Got Away”. Naturally, our conversation flowed easily, and we could tell each other everything. I confided my misgivings about my situation; including but not limited to the emotional and financial manipulation the impossible situation imposed on me, how it affected my health- both physical and mental- and how much I was hating life in general.

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After the girl in “Green Eyed Monster” disappeared, he and I became closer again. I even arranged to go away for the weekend of his birthday, so I could get away from my own life and spend time with him. You’ll get to read all about this in another post, I promise! After that weekend, I KNEW I couldn’t stay where I was.

I did the only thing I could do- I went home and tried to end it.

The impossible situation did not take it well. He didn’t listen to a word I said and basically bullied me into staying put longer than I wanted. It may seem devious, but I was cornered and I felt desperate. I made an escape plan. I started slowly “reorganising” things and subtly packing my things. One day when he was out, I had a friend come pick up me and as much of my stuff as we could fit (as well as my rather disgruntled cat), and I ran.

I left him a note on the table, explaining in detail why I chose to leave this way- because it was the only way I could get him to accept it- and went to stay with a close girlfriend, while I planned my interstate move.

Suffice to say, he didn’t take it well. Some furniture got damaged. I didn’t get my rental bond back. He accepted the situation after a few weeks though. His family didn’t think much of me or the way I did it, but frankly I don’t give a shit. They all knew he was punching above his weight with me. They all knew how bad I struggled with him and the hell he made my life and they did nothing.

I still speak to him infrequently. He vowed to fight to have my access blocked to his kids if I didn’t. While they are not my children, I do still love them dearly, and I made a promise to them to always be a grown up that they could come to when they need to talk to someone, if for some reason they couldn’t talk to their parents- and I take that role seriously. Kids wouldn’t struggle if they felt they could trust adults more.

If I had my way though, I wouldn’t. There’s nothing more to say.

She-Wolf x

Here’s the link to her blog: https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/155174584/posts/122

Milky #7

We text a lot actually, at one point Milky tells me that I am good at sex (Yes… I love hearing that! Although, clearly I knew! hahaha) & we have banter about the bambillo empire I apparently have or of me falling of the bed that one time (like ages ago! Move on dude, these jokes are so old!). He shows concern for me when I tell him about a drunken night after a work function around Christmas when I was left on my own, ridiculously drunk, I remember falling over because I have bruises but I don’t remember how I got back to the hotel.

However after all the texting, it’s still another couple of weeks before we catch up again, at his house. Nothing exciting, yet again, we sit watch TV, drink wine & fuck. Wow, we’re like a fucking married couple unless I’m drunk AF! This is fucking bullshit. Literally the same position every fucking time we have sex… Where’s the guy who introduced me to a bit of kink? Lucky I am seeing other people, not like last time when I put all my eggs in one basket, so to speak.

However in the morning, he asks to see my ‘toys’ (you know, the kind in your bedside table!), he pulls them all out & basically uses almost every single vibe on me & also takes a fair bit of time whipping my butt with a flogger at the same time, so much so that I get some instant bruises. FINALLY! Some kink… Well done Milky! He’s redeemed himself! That was actually a lot of fun! I discover that I actually really enjoy a bit of pain – not for everyone I know, but it’s a thing I have started to enjoy…. I also love a bruise from being cheeky, maybe for a week afterwards & I smile every time I look at it!

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I am away a lot for work, so I don’t get much time to see anyone, so it’s yet another couple of weeks later before we catch up again, by this time I have also recently got a pool table, from my Nanna’s house as she has just gone into a nursing home & no one in the family wanted wanted it, I don’t really have room for it at my house, but it was my Grandpa’s who I never met because he died years before I was born, however I was a bit sentimental about this pool table, so I got it & put it in the middle of my lounge room! I have an L shaped lounge, so I was able to put in part of the lounge without disrupting my living much. I was going to put it outside but didn’t want it to get ruined being it’s like 40 years old or something! (How cool am I? Putting a pool table in my lounge room… I mean I am the perfect girlfriend!)

He comes over just before Christmas, I am just sitting on the couch drinking vodka (I usually have a rule not to drink alone, but I decide that since he might be coming over, I won’t be alone) Milky is not one to bail, he is dependable, so I know that he’ll be there later. When he comes over, he gives me a bottle of wine – a dessert type wine, which he gives me as a gift. I am a bit perplexed about the gesture but it doesn’t spark anything in me. If he’d done that a few months ago, I probably would’ve been picking out my wedding dress (well not really, but you get me… Hahaha) but I felt nothing, I didn’t even feel bad for not having something for him in return. Not even a box of regifted chocolates or anything.

We watch tv & eat dinner (pizza) as our usual ritual, we kiss on the couch, then have sex as usual at the end of my bed, with my legs in the air. But early hours of the morning, he gets up & I think nothing of it till I sleepily see him by my bedside, fully dressed & staring at me. He says that he’s been vomiting & he needs to go home. I, of course, agree, I don’t want to get sick. I message him later to see how he is but he says that he’s not any better & he ends up taking the Monday off work.

We text a lot over Christmas, he makes a Toblerone cheesecake & I say that I want one & he should make me one then invite me around. This year I am on the skeleton crew at work so I am working everything except the public holidays, as he’s now a contractor at his work, he has the time off… He tells me that he’s saved me some of the cheesecake but because I am working, he’s going to eat it! Jerk! (I actually wonder if he did save me some or if it was just banter! I’ll probably never know…)

We have banter over the fact that I only ever watch 9Life (a TV station basically of home improvement shows) & my new computer which I needed his help resetting – I have to eventually take the thing back to the store & replace it with my current computer, but he gets fired up about me actually taking the old one back & getting a refund because it’s faulty (It’s not turning on properly or holding charge.)

He asks casually the week before New Years about catching up on New Years Eve (err really?!). But I say that I’ll be too drunk to drive anywhere, I assume that he’ll want to stay where ever he is for midnight then we’ll catch up when I’m home like 1:00 am or 2:00 am. On actual New Years eve, he messages me to say “Hey still want to catch up later on?” at about 8:00 pm, I say I can’t drive (already drunk!) but I am a few minutes away from my house. Just before 10:00 pm he says he’s done & I say I won’t be leaving till after midnight (how would I even explain that to my friends) but he says that he’ll let me party & hopefully see me tomorrow night. Did he really think that I would leave a NYE party before midnight? I don’t see him obviously, but I get a happy new year text from him just after 12:00 am.

On new years day he asks me if I want to write a list of all the things I want to do, I think that’s a bit crass as I want my kinky life to evolve, (I am still relatively new to this but now I know a list is a common occurrence in a kink relationship, to establish boundaries & understand what each of you may or may not want to do) I tell him that my Fetlife has a lot of information on there & he should check that out, which he says that he has, but I should be more open with him.

We seem to bicker about the fact that he thinks I am not open with him, he can’t understand why when we’ve been seeing each other for months but like I say to him, he once he pulled out a rope, butt plug & flogger & all I said was that I am not ready to be tied to something so he put it away & never used anything on me that night, then we ended. Another time, he said he’d tie me up & cane me, I said I wasn’t ready for a cane & he didn’t do anything kinky that night either. So I am not as open as I want to be but can’t help it… I’ve never done a lot of this stuff before. I am in uncharted territory, I don’t know what to expect or what to do & he’s not a great teacher – when I say no to one part of what he suggests, I get nothing at all, so I’m reluctant to say anything. He says that it’s hard for him as he has social interaction issues & that’s why he doesn’t have a lot of friends but he also feels like I am so reserved with him. I tell him that besides Boyfriend over 10 years ago, he’s the longest I’ve ever slept with a guy, he says that because I have dicks pics being sent to me I must have a million guys interested in me. Is that what a dick pic means? Really? I always thought it was because the guy is a fuck wit! Hahaha.

Guest Blogger: The Impossible Situation

I hate the What If’s as I’ve said before in my What If blog post. I think sometimes we have to take the path that is there for us at the time… Timing is everything!

The Impossible Situation

So… I fell for my best friends ex.

We are now dating exclusively.

I know, I know- massive girl-code violation. Don’t hate me yet though.

He and I started chatting online. At first, he didn’t recognise me (it had been some time since he’s seen me). I knew exactly who he was and so did she. She even encouraged me to chat to him, if anything just to be a tease. He also had posted a photo she felt was inappropriate, and wanted to know what he had to say about it.

He and I continued talking, and – much to my surprise- actually had a lot of common ground. After all the fuckboys who were more interested in my cup size than my brain, this intellectual chatting was a breath of fresh air. He’s an artist, and asked for my to collaborate with him on a body of work. He came to the city to meet me and discuss ideas.

It was here that he first kissed me. If I’m being honest with myself, that was the moment things got heavy for me. That seemingly innocent, insignificant little kiss turned my world on its head- I just couldn’t admit that. I also couldn’t admit that, had we been somewhere more private- I would have jumped him then and there. But at that time, I couldn’t be honest with myself- so I got mad at him.

I knew there were very few ways that this impossible situation could turn out. Most of them were what I perceived to be bad at the time. So I fought against it. I knew I had to tell her. I agonised for a week over what to say. I was an absolute mess.

When I finally saw her and told her- she burst into fits of laughter. She told me that if I wanted to pursue something with him I could and that she had no problem with it. At this stage, I could only see myself being friends with him, and that was enough for me.

Part of me doubted him. From the stories I’d heard about him over the years, I just didn’t think that he was who he was when talking to me. I regarded him with a lot of scepticism and he wore it. He understood why I felt how I did.

He’d also read my blog, and thought more of me for being open and honest about my experiences. There was a confrontation about some online content between my friend and her ex and I got pulled into the middle of it.

At this point, I was so torn, because I could see and understand both points of view and I wanted to help both of them. I chose my friend that day and told him to back off me a little; to respect my boundaries and stay my friend without hoping for more.

He and I continued to talk. Even though things were terse between him and my friend, I just couldn’t stop. Talking to him every day was just habit now. We enjoyed talking to each other and sharing our day.

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My feelings changed completely when I got sick. I ended up in hospital and he rushed to my side, knowing I was scared and in pain. When I got out, he stayed with me for a week and cared for me, making sure I was comfortable and resting and not overdoing it.

He got nothing out of it except my company and he still chose to do it. When he did this, it opened my eyes to the side of him I point blank refused myself to see. I never wanted to think of him in terms of being someone I could be with, because he was my friends ex.

I couldn’t deny it anymore. I wanted to know just what potential we have.

I did what I felt was right and asked my friend. She gave me the all- clear and I followed my heart and pursued him.

Once we became a couple, things fell apart between my friend and I, as well as our mutual friends.

She wasn’t as OK with it all as if been led to believe, and now I was a traitor and a bad friend. Most of our mutual friends have been really passive aggressive towards me, which is beyond immature, seeing as we are all adults. I chose to ignore it all and try to be the bigger person, even though the venom hurt.

Here’s the kicker- I’m happier now than I have been in a long time, and I don’t regret my decision to date him.

We may not have got together in a conventional way, but the end justifies the means. I could have chosen to stay in my box and never aim for happiness. But I selfishly chose my own happiness and though I still feel guilt from time to time, the whole experience has been worth it.

He and I may last a lifetime; we may not even last a year- but I’ll never have to wonder “what if?”.

She-Wolf xx

Here is the link to her blog: https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/155174584/posts/54

Guest Blogger: When The Wheels Come Off

This is a blog I follow as well, (I think this is my first guest blogger from overseas!), it’s written by a male which always intrigues me. With his permission, he’s allowed me to share this with you guys too!

I loved this because I have done the same when someone texts me & gives me no context about who they are…

When The Wheels Come Off

When the wheels start to come off, take your foot off the gas pedal. It’s a great piece of advice, come to think of it, and so I took my foot off the gas pedal. I switched it to the brake, but found it depressed right down to the floor with no corresponding decrease in speed. I was careening, heading towards a crash.

Within a couple of months of joining Plenty of Fish, I had managed to complicate what should have been a fairly simple endeavor: find an attractive woman who found me attractive in turn. And by attractive, I don’t just mean physically, but in the myriad of ways we humans entwine our romantic selves with our mates, whether you think it’s chemical, electrical or our very souls.

I had gone out on several dates with women I had considered pretty from what I saw in their pictures. I dated one I wasn’t at all attracted to physically, but who just seemed so happy and robust I wanted to see if I could set aside the physical and be subsumed by her sheer joyfulness (I could not).

Online dating can become a sort of addiction. I’ve read quite a bit about this; I’m not alone in falling into this trap. I was messaging multiple women, literally texting down a list, trying to keep the names straight. I’d sometimes have to ask for a picture to be sent because I could no longer remember which Kathy from POF I was messaging. God forbid, I gave a woman my number and she’d text some time later without telling me who it was. I’d have to try and draw out personal information surreptitiously and go back to the dating site and try to cross-reference. Sometimes, I’d get it wrong and be called out on it: “Um, you’re confusing me with one of your other women.”

It was exciting at first. I found affirmation there. Maybe I’m better looking than I thought, more interesting, funnier. Let me introduce myself, I thought, get to know each other. With time and better acquaintance, I figured most would see through me. What I found was the addiction became all-consuming. It took all my time, all my thought. And really, it didn’t make me feel better. But when you’re speeding down a hill in a car and the wheels start to fall off, there’s only one thing to do. Crash.

Here is the link to his blog: https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/85889956/posts/2166803652

So as you can see dating is no different overseas, dating is no different for men. I just wonder when there will be a man that only wants to date me & no one else?!

Mechanic

My luck may have changed; this very cute guy, good looking, like hot AF good looking, probably a dream guy in the looks department for me, he is just my type! Tick. Like more hot than normal, I’m totally punching above my weight here. I can’t stress enough how cute he is in his pictures! I’m so surprised when he actually chats to me?! Tick! OMG, he’s also bloody funny. Tick! & He’s my age, not a ridiculously young dude, not an old fart, he’s only 2 years older! OMG. Wow, this one is too good to be true! I’m sure of it. So I say my new mantra over & over “I must not get attached, I must not get attached” firstly this guy probably isn’t going to be keen on me & secondly it’s only been a few months since the Origin debacle.

I can’t even remember what site we met on, but it had a terrible name like ‘DomDates.com’ or something equally stupid, I got a lot of attention on there, maybe because I was the only normal looking one or because I wasn’t a scammer from overseas, or because I was the only chick who knew about this site. I was surprised that he was so interested in me, surely there were other people online that would be better than me. (Serious self-esteem issues, I know, I am working on it!) When he tells me that he’s British, I almost cream my pants, seriously I don’t think he can get any better (Remembering my imaginary checklist).

“I must not get attached, I must not get attached”

We stop talking on the stupid website that we met on & switch to the chat app. I delete my account on that site. Like it’s so dodgy! Mechanic suggests that we meet, which makes my tummy twist in knots, but I say yes, of course I want to meet this guy! We choose a less dodgy pub near me, but let’s face it, it’s the south, so it’s still dodgy. We decide on a game of pool & a drink. I remember thinking wow when I first saw him, this guy is bloody hot (a bit older than his photos, he kind of has a bit of salt & pepper in his hair, few more wrinkles, probably not as buff as the pictures but still very attractive), he’s very funny & can actually hold a conversation, plus he’s British! (Must not forget that!) He has a slight accent, it’s so sexy! I’m so surprised that he keeps offering to buy more drinks & to play more games of pool. He pays for most of it too, maybe, just maybe this guy could be genuine! Maybe I’m not as bad as I think I am?! He hasn’t run for the door yet!

We play pool, I am not too bad at the game but when I am losing, I try to distract him by bending over & pulling down my top a little bit to show my cleavage, then giggle. It works. We enjoy some friendly, cheeky banter. It’s really a fun night & I remember a friend once telling me that I need to show my fun side, well here I am showing my fun side! I’m relaxed & having a good time without overthinking anything I am saying or doing. He is so naturally funny, saying one liners that I love, a little like Origin did but this is the first date I’ve been on that I haven’t sat there thinking about someone else.

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As the bar closes, yes the bar closes, he walks me to my car, we stand outside, making small talk, before he leans in & kisses me… We are so good at everything that I wonder if we’ll be good at kissing… YEP! We are!! He’s so super fucking hot (Calm down!) Then I can’t help it, the words are out of my mouth before I even realise what I am saying, I ask him if he wants to come back to my house. Of course, he says yes.

We go back to my house & I offer him a drink before he’s kissing me again, I take him into my room, we’re both naked quickly & I kneel on the floor & suck his cock. For the first time in a long time, maybe even the first time… I swallow a guy’s cum, which I would NEVER do for a random, I figure if they want the best of me, then they need to earn the best of me. I’m not sure what made me do it with him to be honest. Maybe this chemistry I’m feeling, maybe it’s the fact I find him so attractive, I’m not sure or maybe it’s just the little bit of liquid courage…

We have sex & it’s really really good sex, though his cock is quite big & hurts me in some positions (I’m personally not a fan of a huge cock, they seem to hurt me – must be something to do with the way my insides are, it’s all about the width & shape for me. I know others don’t agree but that’s just me. Also in my experience guys with giant cocks usually aren’t that good in bed as they think a big cock is all it takes… Guys with smaller cocks seem to work a bit harder & are far better.) But it’s still good with Mechanic once we work it out & shift into a comfortable position. He hangs around for a little while but then he gets up to leave, we kiss goodbye & I hope that I see him again, but I’m not holding out any hope.

He messages me the next day… EEK! That puts a huge fucking smile on my dial that I can’t wipe off! We continue to chat, the banter is cheeky, but not gross. I find out that he actually works as a mechanic (I’m sure you did not see that coming! Hahaha) at the dealer where our work cars are from & serviced, yeah that’s bloody Adelaide for you! I don’t ever have to go to the dealer because they pick up our cars from work when they get serviced, but all of a sudden I wish like hell there was a reason to drop my car off!

Flaccid #2

So what is it about me, that I am good enough to sleep with once, forget about & then when they see me online again when I stupidly reactive my accounts that they decide that they want to see me again. Or is it that they just have had no other options & I’m stupid enough to let them back into my life?!

Well this guy Flaccid who couldn’t even keep hard when we had sex a but he did almost make me cum – I mean almost isn’t as good as making me cum, I am not sure why being close to making me cum is a good thing (I guess I’m trying to be positive), but I guess it was the way he was going to make me cum… Read the previous blog about him…

When I give him my number again I think what the hell am I doing? He calls me one night & we almost end up having phone sex, but I’ve never done that before so it feels a little weird for me, especially with a random dude but I’m not sure I am very good at vocalising what I think they should do or what I would do. I mean I’m not mute when I have sex with someone, I can do it when they are touching me in real life a little & I sort of do it over text but I don’t know if I can do it with a random over the phone.

He texts me a few times over the course of few weeks, but I end up ignoring him after a while, I assume that it’s just going to be sex & I am over just being a sex toy for men. I want something more; I want to be taken out on dates & shown a good time. I want to be spoiled, I want someone to look at me & think they never want to see anyone else, that I am it!

If I keep this casual thing going then a I ever going to find that one person who wants me? Is there actually someone out there for me? I stop talking to him for months.

flaccid #2

So with this in mind, I’m not sure why I talk to this guy again when he pops back up months later… How & why he keeps coming back into my life but he does & I seem to be only too keen to let him. WTF is wrong with me? Clearly there is something wrong with them as they are still single, but then I mean I am still single too, but that’s also because these are the types of guys I am left with!

He tells me that he wants to catch up with me as soon as he can, he’s leaving to go to the UK for a year for work. Right, so what is the point of this? Why am I even considering this? We message & message but he always has an excuse as he’s sold his car already & can’t get to my house, he’s living with family so I can’t go to see him. Blah blah blah.

It’s been almost a whole year since we fucked the first time, when I allow him to come over. This time we’ve talked about what he should do if he goes soft & I remind him how good he was when he actually almost made me cum – just to boost his ego. When he comes over, we will just fuck, there is no small talk or anything because well lets face it, I’m never going to see him again after tonight, he leaves in a few days to go overseas & I’ll probably never talk to him again after tonight either.

So he comes over & the sex is actually really good, it goes for a while, he goes down on me & he makes me cum, which surprises me, I mean I figured that he would get me close, but I can tell you that I was convinced he’d get me over the edge! I’m glad he did. He hangs around for a little while, just lying there naked, chatting. It’s actually kind of nice. He’s a pretty nice guy.

When he gets to the UK, he starts messaging me on what’s app for his UK number, we message, I think mainly for him to get validation from me that I had a good time this time. I put his mind at ease. He starts his convo with a dick pic asking me what I think, I mean I hate when they ask, what are you supposed to say? I say it looks big & try to move on.

We talk a lot about porn, I have been watching a lot lately, not sure why, I seem to go through phases of watching lots or not watching it at all. But in this phase, I am watching it daily – I have very specific tastes on what I watch, I won’t just watch anything & I hate home made porn… It’s about this time that I am heading to the UK with my Aunty. I keep in contact with him because I think that we might be able to catch up, if we’re in the same city. Not sure how I’ll get away from my aunt, but I’ll work something out since I probably won’t have sex for a month while away.

I also suggest to him that he buys himself a fleshlight (A male sex toy, basically a hole in a tube that they can masturbate with) because he seems to jerk off a lot, which is odd being that his nickname from me is Flaccid but oh well. He buys one & I regret suggesting it because he sends me videos all the time of him using it. Why do men do that? I don’t give a fuck if you cum. I cum every day by myself & don’t video for any one… Actually I’m certain guys would love it if I did.

We never meet up while I’m in the UK. We message the whole time though but it never happens. We talk even more when I get home from the trip, but he still has another year or so away. We talk about when he’s coming home, but I will be in Hawaii when he gets home. I’m also talking to multiple other guys (stories to come) that I don’t want to meet him so I ignore his final messages to me on his UK number.

He has messaged me about 2 years later, he found my phone number (I’d been though a lot – stories to come) & so we messaged a bit but he again didn’t have a car & then was drunk & wouldn’t catch a taxi/uber, so I’ve ignored everything since then. He messages again & I finally ask “why are you messaging me?” he replies that he just wanted to say hi, I ask “just hi?” but he never responds… All I wanted to know was what he wanted… Did he want to just fuck or does he want more. Maybe I didn’t word it right but seriously I don’t even care that he never responds, I’m sick of games.

Guest Blogger: Relationship Accountability

Here is some different advice from another blogger I follow. Different points of view & different opinions are what can make dating hard, everyone has an opinion – me included & sometimes things often work out differently because people don’t always do what we hope they would. This advice also hit home for me…

Relationship Accountability

Ghosting, icing, simmering and other names for bastardry

Past generations did not have so many names for shitful behaviour. Maybe ghosting existed, but without smartphones and the expectations around keeping in touch 24/7, it was more of a slow fade.

These days we have a veritable tsunami of names of how to behave badly when it comes to our interpersonal, ‘romantic’ relationships. This is my shorthand way of saying relationships that involve ‘more than friendship’, although friends can choose the slow fade as well, but it’s not as pervasive.

In my Glossary, I have a useful collection of terms in case you want to brush up on your online dating lingo. Of course, these behaviours are not limited to dating that originated from an online dating source (eg most modern dating), but they are extremely common behaviours where there aren’t other connections like mutual friendships, community, work or family to help keep people accountable.

This post was inspired by one from Confessions of a Reformed Cad, which reminded me that modern dating behaviours need to come with a users’ manual and a regular, no-kid-gloves reminder of what they mean. Stories that people tell about their dating experiences are littered with these unethical and abusive behaviours.

Some of the names for these modern-day behaviours, in addition to the ones I’ve already mentioned, are benching, bread-crumbing, catch and release, monkeying, layby, and zombie-ing.

At their heart, each of these behaviours is a form of emotional cowardice. Some might call it a dislike of hurting someone else or being the bearer of bad news, but the other – less palatable side – is a lack of empathy or consideration for someone else’s feelings or lived experience. Some people just don’t care about the effects of their behaviour. They can justify it as ‘being too busy’, ‘not really being into them’, or it being ‘all too hard’.

As Esther Perel says, “In this relationship culture, expectations and trust are in constant question. The state of stable ambiguity inevitably creates an atmosphere where at least one person feels lingering uncertainty, and neither person feels truly appreciated or nurtured. We do this at the expense of our emotional health, and the emotional health of others.”

If you consider the row in the table that gives examples of typical text messages according to relationship accountability I’m certain that you’ll have experienced all of these if you’re seriously giving online dating a go. Just reading those examples brings back uncomfortable memories of when this has been done to me, not because I was necessarily emotionally invested in the person, but because it’s game playing and dishonest. It leaves you ‘not really knowing’ where you stand; it sucks your confidence and if, like me, you’re a generous person who believes in giving people the benefit of the doubt, it leaves you feeling tricked or abused.

More than once I’ve walked away from ‘textationships’ that repeat patterns of building and then dashing hopes –plans for meeting, plans for sex, plans for dating plans that involve actual commitment to a time and place. Making a decision and sticking to it seems to be a rare combination sometimes!

Cad says, “I’ve come to realize nearly everything that goes wrong in a relationship can be addressed simply with vulnerability and a change in the angle of approach. I firmly believe now, that if I had better skills when I was younger, I would still have a loving marriage with my ex-wife.”

Wise words indeed from someone who is not afraid to ‘do the work’ and take a good, hard look at their own behaviour and culpability – something so many of us are afraid to do.

Esther Perel believes that ghosting and behaviours of the same ilk are “manifestations of the decline of empathy in our society — the promoting of one’s selfishness, without regard for the consequences of others. There is a person on the other end of our text messages (or lack thereof), and the ability to communicate virtually doesn’t give us the right to treat others poorly.”

Wherever you may sit on the spectrum of relationship accountability, acting passively (or passive-aggressively) and hoping someone will ‘get the hint’ is not a responsible or ethical choice. It’s not easy sometimes, and I know I haven’t always been perfect in the past, but it’s the right thing to do. By recognising others as worthy of the same honesty and compassion that we ourselves seek, we are acting true to our own moral frameworks as well as ‘creating positive vibes’ in the world around us. If you want to read any of my past stories about ghosting, these are a good place to start.

Whatever your relationship status...

Expectations in online dating and the risks of addiction

Another online dating adventure – Ian the octopus

Digital landmines – people don’t treat people like humans anymore

What should I do when the guy I like ghosts on me?

Solstice or festive greetings to you all!

Here is the link to her blog: https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/135700479/posts/1344

With all this great advice over the last couple of guest blogs, do you think I will make better decisions?!

Unemployed

I met Unemployed on an app not for dating, it’s an anonymous app where you post bullshit “secrets”, it’s really designed for teenagers but old farts like me get on there too, like sad old losers… but he & I started chatting a lot. It was quite easy to chat to him, but I was cautious because he was so much younger than me. But he seemed to be going through a rough time, his fiancé had just left him, she left during the night so when he woke up, she was gone & the ring was on his pillow (bit dramatic!). He was also back living with his grandma because he couldn’t live with his parents & I think at some point he’d been living with her family too. He’d also lost his job in the process of all this & was struggling to get a new one. But every day that I talked to him, he had a new idea about what he was going to do with his future or what courses he was going to take. He was just that type of guy, who couldn’t work out what he wanted to do or was just after a quick buck.

Just after I met him online, we hadn’t obviously met in real life yet, I was travelling for work to Mt Gambier about 5 hours from home, he says that he’ll come down to the South East to meet me. Now this is weird, firstly, because I actually live on the other side of the city to him, about an hour & a half away which has been an issue for him regarding petrol, so I don’t know why he thought a 5 hour drive was better. I knew I had someone lined up while down there (see next post) & I also didn’t know what this guy would be like, knowing my luck, he’d be a douche & then I’d be stuck with him in my hotel room while I work for a week & I’m too nice to say that he needs to leave. I somehow get out of meeting him in Mt Gambier.

Because he lives with his Grandma, the only option to meet is at my house. (Well I guess we could go out but he’s got no money.) I am on my way home from a different work day trip, a few hours away from home, he starts to freak out that I’m going to give him the wrong address as he’s had that happen to him before (OMG women are mean!) I reassure him by sending him a picture of my house. When he arrives at my house, I have a work crisis going on & I need to send an email urgently, I feel a bit bad but work is a priority for me, so I get him a drink & write my email while he waits patiently.

He is younger than me by about 8 years or so, I think he is about 26, his pics weren’t really that great so he does look better than his pics (Yes, I am aware I say that about most guys!) however he still isn’t my usual type. Not that I think I have a type but he wasn’t really that attractive to me.

We watch Netflix & talk a bit. I’m bloody tired from a long drive (people don’t realise how tiring driving can be for work, plus the actual work you have to do once at the location then drive hours home) so as it gets later & later, I start to fall asleep. In the end I realise he isn’t going to go home so I suggest we go to bed. I honestly can’t remember what I wore to bed that night (I’m assuming I wasn’t naked), I fall asleep instantly & kinda feel bad because I can’t stay awake. It’s probably the first time since Boyfriend where I have actually slept next to a man without having sex with them.

Next morning however, he’s trying it on, spooning me, rubbing my sides, so I wake up & we have sex. He’s really thoughtful while we have sex making me cum many many times before we do anything else – I did actually get a record of 28 orgasms that morning – why I count, I don’t know… But afterwards we’re lying there & he says he has to tell me something. WARNING! WTF could he tell me after sex? That he’s got a wife? An STI? That I’m shit in bed? What? What is it? I lie there with a million thoughts going through my head, this is possibly the worst time to tell someone something. I never saw this coming!

“If I disappear for a while,” OMFG, what the fuck! “Don’t worry, I will come back” Ok dude, what on earth is going on. Guy’s disappearing isn’t something new to me, however, guys telling me they are going to disappear & come back, is new. Curiosity gets me & I ask what he means. He hesitates before saying “I might be going to jail” OH HOLY FUCK!!!!!! I want to jump up & run away, this dude is in my fucking bed! I’m naked. He’s naked. I have just fucked him! I ask ‘why‘ as calm as I can, scared about what he might say. He tells me that his last girlfriend after his fiancé, that he met online – on the anonymous app, told him she was 15 however she was actually only 14. Well FUCK ME SIDEWAYS. Have I just had sex with a child predator?

unemployed

He explains the story & says his lawyer says he has a good case as he letters & emails from the 14 year old girlfriend about her love for him & that she didn’t want her mum to find out. However her mum did found out & that is how he was in this position – he says he’s got a good lawyer, I’m assuming it’s a pro bono type situation or legal aid, but he seems optimistic. I don’t really remember how I get this guy out my house but he leaves & I have a shower for an hour.

Jerk Off #2

So before I met Origin I was chatting to this guy Jerk Off on snapchat, you may not remember him or the story, as he was no one really of significance. But he of course sends me unsolicited dick pics including a video of him jerking off which I rapidly saved (why do I save them?!), but a few friends would ask to show them pics, especially ones who had been in relationships for a long time. (I’m still not 100% sure why men send them or what they think we do with them but I get a lot, at one stage there I was getting an average of one per day!)

This guy lives so far away from me, yet he constantly snapchats me every few days to hook up with him. I’ve kept him in the loop because you never know what might happen & look I’m still single after all, after disaster after disaster & the recent disaster with Origin, I figure that he might be a good rebound (so to speak) since I’m going to be staying in the country town a few over from where he lives in a few nights after heading out to a local pub for a friends birthday.

He snapchats me all through the night, I shamelessly ask him to come to my friend’s house to have sex with me, but he says no. (WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME!) I don’t get this guy, he knows that we live far apart & this is probably the closest we’ll ever be, distance wise, but he doesn’t want to come over. I go to bed feeling like a really big fool, another guy I offer myself on a platter too, rejects me. Could things get any worse?

He snapchats me the next day to see how I’m feeling asking me if I was wearing cute underwear, which I tell him I was & that it’s his loss. He agrees but I stop talking to him. I can’t keep doing this to myself, I can’t keep offering myself up for just no strings sex & still end up in bed alone. I feel so stupid. I can’t even believe that this is happening to me again, for like the twentieth time in my life.

It was probably for the best to be honest, I mean how would I explain that to my friend or their friends the next day that I had some random dude come over & fuck me. I mean that would have probably been the worst walk of shame. Though I probably wouldn’t have let him sleep over, I would’ve kicked him out. But I have no idea where people were sleeping, I mean he could’ve walked past anyone.

Jerkoff #2

We keep snapchatting for a few weeks – why I don’t know, I don’t really know why he keeps messaging me, I never initiate a message with this guy. It’s clearly never going anywhere. I delete him off my account after a few months. Every time I am online dating again, he pops up as a match. But clearly we’re just never going anywhere. This is a colossal waste of my time, as usual!

UPDATE: I deleted him from my snapchat but he pops up online ALL the time whenever I fall back into the trap of online dating again. I never accept his requests every again. I need to start making decisions for myself – not with my vagina!

Guest Blogger: Honest, Unfiltered Advice

Some of this is hard to read because it’s so true for me… I think we sometimes like to ignore the reality for the fantasy, I am so guilty of it.

Honest, Unfiltered Advice

This will be a constant work-in-progress: read through these when you have problem or aren’t sure what to do.

I’m being blunt for a reason. Some days, even I get tired of being a “Dear Abby” for my nearest and dearest.

So here they are- some pearls of wisdom from the she-wolf herself:

if you have to ask if you should leave; you already know the answer. You don’t need someone else to validate you. It’s your damn life.

If things haven’t changed by now, they won’t. Ever.

If you want to put up with the same shit day in, day out, then why are we even having this conversation?!

No-one is coming to save you, so stop being such a sook and get your shit together.

A man won’t fix your problems. Stop waiting for a knight in shining armour, because they’re all fucking retards wrapped in tin foil.

A vibrator might not take out the trash or hug you, but it won’t cheat, lie or ruin your life either.

If you don’t even respect/love/want/ care for yourself, you shouldn’t expect anyone else to, either.

It’s ok to just cut people off without saying goodbye.

If you have to seek validation from other men by way of things like lingerie selfies/ videos, because your man isn’t appreciating you as much as you’d like, then you really need to ask yourself if you should be marrying him.

There’s a difference between being alone and being lonely.

The grass may look greener in the other side, but it’s likely going to be fertilised with the same shit.

If he cheated with you, he will cheat on you
Don’t listen to your heart, because your heart is a fucking idiot. Listen to your brain and your gut. They have more sense.

Here is the link to this blog: https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/155174584/posts/246

guest blogger honest unfiltered advice

I’ve said it before that you need to love yourself before anyone can love you, something I’m still working on!

Bonus Post: How to Blog

I’d just like to take this opportunity to thank those who ask me questions about blogging but also I’d like to remind everyone that I am not a professional or an expert on anything – especially dating, blogging or writing. Hahaha. However I do get asked a lot, how to blog, how did I get into it, how do I do it? It’s been a long windy road for me, so here is what I know…

First, I did a little short course in Adelaide at the adult learning centre (WEA) about 5 or 6 years before I started posting which was called blogging for beginners. The trainer said that 90% of blogs will fail in the first 6 months. I was like “pfft, it’s ok dude, I got this – I’m hilarious, I’ll get a million likes each post.” So I set about designing my logo, branding my blog, buying the domain name, setting up social media & getting an email. Little did I know that mine would fail within the first 3 months!

Secondly, I started to write. The stories came out easily, I wrote a list of all the things I wanted to write about then started the writing – I am still working through that list! I planned a whole bunch of blogs before I started posting because I wasn’t sure I was ready for this! I also want to make sure of longevity of the blog, what would I do if I get writers block?

Thirdly, I started reading other blogs & started to think about how I wanted my blog to be, what format I would use, who my audience would be & what did I have to say! I saw other dating blogs posting sometimes right after a date, I didn’t want to do that (I like to edit & let the story evolve before I post), but I didn’t see any other blogs doing it like I planned, to post after the fact & not be in real time.

how to blog

If you’re thinking about blogging, google is your friend… I learned so much from my course & so much from google. But here are a few tips from I’ve Been Dating For You:

Pick a topic
- Choose a topic you’re passionate about
- Write what you know! (It’s true what they say.)
- Write as you would speak it, don’t try to be fancy, you’re not writing War & Peace, this is your time to be you
- Be specific, don’t change your topic half way though
Pick a blog name
- Make sure the name will evolve with you, your topic & your readers.
- Make sure its identifiable & catchy (you know like I’ve Been Dating For You – hahaha)
Get a logo, email address, social media & domain name
- Keep them all the same. This help builds your brand & consistency making your blog easier to find
- Unless you can make the logo without using word clipart, then pay someone to do it for you
- I suggest buying your domain so your web address if just your blog name ie: ivebeendatingforyou.com not www.i’vebeendatingforyou.com/wordpress as it looks cleaner & more professional
Find a site that can host your blog
- I use WordPress, but you can use Tumblr, Wix or Blogger, any site for hosting a blog unless you can build your own website
- Learn the site before you post, you don’t want to change your themes & keep updating your look while posting & confusing readers
Keep entries short
- I suggest no more than 1500 words per blog but no less than about 700 words
- People are busy, they don’t have time to read a never ending story – that’s what books are for
Post blog content regularly
- At least 2 or 3 times per week on set days
- People need to know when your going to post, if it’s too random & they haven’t subscribed, they won’t come back to look for new content
- Don’t post too often, again people are busy & don’t have time to keep checking
Don’t start posting too soon
- I started before I was ready & ended up taking another 2 years to continue to post. I know I have a lot to share, but you have to be ready to share with people you know first because that’s how you build your audience
Know your audience
- You need to keep relevant by knowing your audience, knowing what they want to read & not deviating from your topic
Plan, Plan, Plan
- Depending on your subject, you might not want to post as things are happening, you may prefer to edit, edit, edit before you post.
- Be prepared for writers block. You need to be consistent so by posting a story you’ve just written you are running the risk of not having content for tomorrows post
Schedule your posts
- I have a set schedule for my posts, so they are automatically posted at the same time every week, this saves time because I am also busy but keeps the consistency
- I schedule mine a month in advance, that way if anything happens, there is a buffer
Don’t post too often
- People don’t have time to read more than a couple of blog posts a week, don’t be too eager to get it all out there (this is hard for me, because I want to you to read everything I have coming up!)
Advertise your blog
- Be prepared to be out of pocket $$$
- Don’t expect to make money or be famous, blog because you want too, not because of what it might get you!

Initially when I started posting, I wasn’t getting any readers, why? Was my content not good? Maybe not. Was it because I wasn’t consistent? Yes, it was because I wasn’t prepared for how much time it took me to write content (writers block, over editing & second guessing that I was funny), to post, to keep up to date & to get readers! I wasn’t prepared for the amount of work (& money) it would take to get readers.

It’s been a rewarding experience for me & I can’t wait for you to all read it all. It’s made me more open to new things because I keep thinking that I will get a blog post out of it & I hope that you have all learned something or not felt alone (which was my main purpose for blogging). I can also see my writing evolve & myself as a person since my first blog post to what I am writing now. I hope you all stick with me…

Don’t expect it to happen overnight, I have been online for over 2 years but have only been regularly posting for the last 6 months. It’s been very difficult but fun. I look forward to hearing from you all, it’s so amazing to hear your feedback!

Guest Blogger: April Fools

This comes from the same guest blogger who wrote Rug. This story is very familiar!

Thanks for sharing with us again!

April Fools

So, this is about a first date, not all that remarkable in terms of where we met or how, but it’s one that is firmly burned into my memory banks with the chemistry that we shared and for the journey that followed.

It started with a somewhat tentative swipe right based on an intriguing bio (switch, BDSM, kink, all of which I had no idea about at the time). And he was hot, really, really hot. We chat and we click and it’s fun and easy so we arrange a date for two days later. We both had plans with friends but agreed to meet later in the evening after we’d caught up with our friends properly and it would be fine to cross mingle.

We meet at a bar, I saw him approaching and we just locked eyes and smiled. We hug, grab a drink and head to the dance floor. It’s immediate chemistry. I announce I’m hungry after dancing and chatting for a bit and he disappears leaving me with his friend and my girlfriend. He reappears 5 minutes later with a sneaky cheeseburger, which is a semi drunk girls best friend. I was smitten.

Our friends all slowly disappear and we’re left on own own. Still hungry, we go have some blueberry pancakes and chat and laugh and flirt away for an hour or so. We leave, I insist on a piggy back ride, he happily obliges and we run off looking for a cab. In the interests of full disclosure I advise that I’m at the end of my period but I’d like him to come home with me anyway. He’s in and we’re off back to my place. I do love a man that’s not scared of the female body in all its sometimes gory glory.

It’s hot, primal and accepting. We get back to mine and it’s on, there’s kissing and more kissing and not tentative boring kissing, but really good, passionate hard kissing. The kind that leads to clothes coming off and being literally thrown down on the bed and being masterly attended to. He starts with finger fucking me in a way I never have been and I squirt and cum all over the place (note… I did not know what squirting was or what was happening at the time… but hey it felt good). I lost all inhibition that night and got absolutely lost in the moment. He’s clearly enjoying the experience and fucks me hard and well (and yes there was momentary pausing for condom action, because I’m not completely mad and nor was he).

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After all was said and done, I slept like a well sated nymph. I awake to a gorgeous adonis entangled up in the sheets with me and a bed that looks like a raging storm has blown through. I may have also had a mild hangover… We breakfast on coffee, tea and tiny teddy biscuits as I’m not by any stretch a chef or home maker. I drop him home and kiss him and say see you later friend. I did see him later, again and again for six months and it was a journey, my own personal sexual awakening. It was one I went into with my eyes wide open, knowing that it would lead to heartbreak (mine). But I’d do it all over again (and again).

Where do these people go after an experience like that? Why do they disappear? I don’t get it!

I wonder if we’ll get another installment? I don’t think this story is over!

Origin #6

Origin comes over to my house again, telling me again how much he likes the way I’ve done my hair, that he likes my outfit (I’ve just walked in from work, nothing special TBH) & that he likes my jeans. I almost wish that I was wearing my glasses but I didn’t put them on after work (I actually only need them for screen based work but always forget to wear them!). I try to just say thanks without telling him why he is wrong like I usually do, he says ‘shit I wore slippers, I look like a homeless person’ we have a joke about it, but I don’t mind, I think that he looks pretty good.

We order Indian food & I don’t order rice because I decide to cook it while we go pick up the dinner, but stupidly I forget to turn on the microwave so it would be ready when we get back. I like driving with a guy, when he’s driving & I’m just the passenger… This is such a coupley thing for me. I’m not sure why, but I love it.

When we get back I turn on the microwave & say we have to wait 11 minutes, he looks at me with that look, moving closer, saying ‘what can we do in 11 minutes?‘ & kisses me. We’re in my kitchen, stripping each other, wanting each other, so much passion, I don’t want him to stop. He pushes me up against my pantry & it’s hot, our hands everywhere. He bends me over the kitchen bench & goes down on me from behind for a bit (that’s hot! Think that’s a first from behind), before we kiss & walk into the lounge room. He tries to push me towards the couch but I sit him in a chair & straddle him. I stupidly don’t go get a condom, but we fuck without one but let him know that he can’t cum inside me – I’m not on contraception, we have hot quick sex & afterwards, I say that was more than 11 minutes. He laughs & gets dressed, not touching me or being loving at all. (that’s not that big of a deal, he hasn’t really been affectionate after sex so far.) We eat dinner & watch some TV while drinking some more wine.

Origin #6

He picks some show on Netflix that he’s always wanted to watch but we interrupt it to have sex, it’s probably the best sex the two of us have had together, on my couch, again with no condom (for fuck sake) but I figure that when I see my doctor in two weeks I will go back on the pill. Not only am I allergic to condoms, it’s so much better without them & this seems like it’s going somewhere, right? He jumps up right after, saying next time he’s going to stay over & goes to leave but I say that he should stay 5 minutes so I don’t feel like a prostitute. He lays down & cuddles my legs but it’s a bit weird, he’s fully clothed & he didn’t take off my top so I quickly put on my pants & steal his beanie to wear. He tells me how cute I look with it on.

When he says he’s going to go I stand up & we kiss passionately & he laughs & tells me to stop, he asks for his beanie back but I say no, we laugh, kiss a final kiss goodbye & he leaves. I go to my bedroom, get ready for bed & the text that comes while he’s on his way home. When the pink text light flashes I smile like a lunatic & am so excited that I found someone who likes me so much, I open the text not wanting to take his beanie off but find that it’s from Flaccid. I ignore him, I don’t need anyone else now. Origin & I am going somewhere & it feels like it might be to a little town called ‘relationship!’ It’s a bit soon – so I need to be calm, but I think that we’re both feeling the same & in a month or two, we really could be happy together. I can’t believe that this is happening to me! I fall asleep with Origins beanie on my pillow because it smells like him.

He’s got a Single Friend!

Another thing I get a lot, especially when my friends get in new relationship & are all loved up, they’ll look at his friends, find the only single one & say ‘He’s got a single friend!’ Like all it takes is 2 single people to make a couple?! Right…

So over the years, I’ve always been so reluctant to go there, what if I like them & they don’t like me back (this has happened before but I was too chicken to tell someone that I liked him) then I have to see them when our friends get married or at birthday parties, my life would be like the movie ‘Life as we know it’ with Katherine Heigel, but lately, I’ve been thinking ‘What the hell’?

So more recently a friend suggested that her new boyfriend has a single friend & I used my new motto ‘what the hell, I may at least get a blog out of it’ so I think possibly she can set up a double date with her & the boyfriend & just have a casual dinner with this friend, something with no pressure, so I text back & say yeah set it up. It’s then that I get the backtrack messages, ‘oh my boyfriend doesn’t think you’ll like him’ or ‘it might be a bit weird’. Well hell dude, you suggested it, I just finally agreed to let you set me up with some weirdo you & I don’t even know & you think it will be weird! I also don’t even know your boyfriend so why does he think his friend won’t like me? Shouldn’t I be the one to decide if I don’t like him, chances are with my luck he’ll be the one rejecting me?

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Also why doesn’t anyone ever say to the guy ‘I’ve got a single friend’ & find out if he likes me before they get my hopes up!? Why do they always come to me first, can’t they go to him then say to me ‘hey this guy likes you’ then I can be the one to reject. Or in most cases never meet because although my friends mean well, they somehow don’t actually want to do the set up thing.

Days later my friend is still backtracking on the meeting with this guy telling me that her boyfriend (who I’ve never met yet) thinks he’s a weirdo & a big drinker that I won’t like him. So I just tell my friend not to worry that I was trying to be more open but right now this kind of thing just sets me back. I mean if friends don’t even think I’m worthy of their boyfriends friends, then what the hell do single men think when they meet me?

It’s not a great frame of mind to be in, which is why I never wanted to do the meet the boyfriends friend thing anyway. FFS

Guest Blogger: The Blown Match

Well this reminds me of We’re fucked before, in a way. Casual tinder dates are fun, until someone is blown away! hahaha.

The Blown Match

This is the story of another really regrettable tinder hook-up. The chatting and the banter was excellent. He was funny, playful and engaging. He was pretty cute in his pictures (he photographs well; in real life, I wasn’t as into him). I agreed to a sneaky lunch time quickie at my place, as we were both really time poor.

He wanted the porn-star experience: full makeup, lingerie, heels- the whole bit. In return, I was going to get banged like a barn door in a hurricane. He’d dropped some dick pics, and I was seriously questioning how it was going to fit. He was roughly the dimensions of a large sweet potato. I pre-gamed some painkillers just in case.

His finger-work was rough and unskilled. For someone who works with his hands, I expected a little more dexterity. Id already lubed up, so just wanted to get stuck in. He barely managed to get the tip in, before pulling out and spraying me from neck to belly-button in baby gravy.

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I laid there, stunned. His after etiquette left much to be desired. He didn’t offer to get me a towel/ something to clean his mess up. He didn’t offer to do anything to make it enjoyable for me. He mumbled some vague comments about how into it he was and that “this has never happened before”- you can hear my eyes rolling as I write this. He got up and left. I was relieved.

He at least stuck to my rules- no mouth kissing, no cuddling after, no sleepovers. The only good thing about this encounter is that he missed my hair and face with his premature gush of goo.

Miss Slut xx

Seriously, I don’t understand men. Can someone please explain?!

Boyfriend #3

Boyfriend & I had been “seeing” each other for a few weeks, messaging & seeing each other, not really knowing where we’re at or what we’re doing, but he asked me to his house to cook me dinner. No guy had ever cooked me dinner. I remember the store manager of our store laughing his head off when he asked what he made for me – toasties. Boyfriend only had one dish he ever made, which was a satay chicken noodles, I don’t remember him cooking anything other than that or a BBQ in the whole time we were together.

At a new years eve party the same friend that snatched my phone to text him on my behalf asks me what were doing, implying are e boyfriend/girlfriend. I say I don’t know we haven’t had the talk. So she decides to ask him. Rightio! He says I’m his girlfriend & when she tells me, I can’t wipe the smile off my face. However weirdly he & I never talk about it. We’re just a couple from then on.

That’s also the first night he stays at my house. I remember it because he’s the first guy to ever stay over at my house, in my bed. But I get up really early to sneak him out being I haven’t asked my parents or even told them – my parents are pretty cool but not sure about having boys over. But my dad is a early riser & is up playing the computer, fuck! I have to introduce him to dad at 5:00 am. I remember dads first words to him were “your mother will be angry she didn’t get to meet him” righto dad! Hahaha.

Shortly into the new year, boyfriend tells me that he’s moving house as he’s been kicked out of his unit & he’s moving in with friends to save money. Ok so a share house isn’t too bad. But when I ask who, it takes him ages to tell me that it’s his ex girlfriend. Right so my new boyfriend is moving in with his ex, who I’m pretty sure is still in love with him. I’m not happy but what can I do? I mean we’ve only been together officially for a short time & I certainly don’t want to live with him so I don’t say much.

It’s all pretty uneventful from what I remember, I realise that his ex girlfriend does still love him, even though she has a boyfriend. & his sister who I thought liked me seems to hate me. I pester him to buy a new bedroom suite, as we’ve been sleeping on a mattress on the floor. But it’s a pretty normal, boring relationship. (if I was writing at the time, I may have loads of blog posts but it was over 12 years ago now.)

Around my birthday my uncle was planning his wedding in Vietnam, of course I jump at the chance to go to Vietnam & ask Boyfriend to come too. I find it super cute when he goes out & buys the same RipCurl bag that I have so we’re matching, without me knowing. We fly out on my birthday, Boyfriend says that he’s planned something for when I get back but for now the trip is my present (The trip I paid for myself & he paid for himself?! Yeah ok) I never get a present from him that year & the next year we’ve bought our house & he buys me slippers & a fruit bowl… Men wonder why women change when they settled down, he was making me an old lady. Who buys a 25 year old slippers & a fruit bowl? Hahaha.

Anyway when we were in Vietnam, right after we have afternoon sex, I tell him that I think I love him & he says “yeah I think maybe I do too.” I get up & cry in the bathroom thinking I’m an idiot for saying it & that I’m unlovable.

We get back from Vietnam, something happens, we snap & almost break up, probably due to the L word infesting the relationship. I remember meeting him at a lookout park during the day & he leaves me there when he says we’re over. I cry & message him to go to his house, which I do & we work through it. Weirdly, that’s also the first day I meet his parents. (they live out in the country, not in Adelaide)

Next Christmas & new years come, he’s still living with the ex, though cracks are starting to show. Before the lease is up, she moves out seemly because she’s not going to win him back like she thought she might. I don’t know why. But she takes the fridge & washing machine, which we’re hers so I use the money I was saving for my working holiday to Canada to buy a fridge & a washing machine for us at his place. Yet I never officially move in with him.

Guest Blogger: Rug

Another guest blogger has decided to share some stories with me too. I love that you are all not leaving me out here on my own! Thank you for that.

I like to post the ones that aren’t similar to any of my stories & this is definitely one of those!

-So Enjoy!

Rug

A few years ago I met this guy online, not on tinder, some other site I can’t remember. I’d consciously decided to try dating guys outside of my usual type… cos that hadn’t really been working out for me so well (hot, unemployed and practically homeless). So this guy had a job (tick), a house (tick) and was funny (tick), he was also pretty short and a bit squishy. We had good banter so we went on a few dates which went well.

At about date 4, I think, he invites me and my dog over for dinner. He can cook (tick) and he also has a dog (tick). Anyway, his dog is one of those rampant humpers and he went absolutely bananas over my dog, it was hilarious. My dog is a clueless asexual galloot and is just running around like a loon with his hornbag dog in hot pursuit.

My belly was sore from laughing (not just at the dogs) so we, the humans, retired inside with a glass of wine on the couch and he makes a really cheesy manoeuvre for a first kiss (think yawn and stretch), it’s nice and we progress to his bedroom. He is a bit of a watcher so he starts playing with himself while I get naked and we’re fooling around and it’s fun. We start the old P in V action and then he screams, really screams, in agony, I try to work out what’s wrong and he advises he’s got a detached or travelling ball which has decided to jump up into his body cavity not in the cosy scrotum where it should be, he insists on continuing and doesn’t withdraw but continues grimacing. Bit of a masochist maybe.

Anyway, I clamber off after bit and just play with his cock until his ball resumes a better location. We start again and I’m grabbing his arse to pull him in hard and then in the moment I grabbed his hair gently to push his head up. He freaks out and grabs his head and runs to the bathroom. I’m completely confused and it turns out I had dislodged his toupee/hair piece thing that I didn’t know wasn’t real hair. (I don’t need my eyes checked, it was really good, completely real looking).

Rug

He’s totally soft at this point and embarrassed and returns with a beanie on his head and turns the lamp off. I ask him about the hair trying to reassure him that being bald is fine and he tells me he had an accident when he was younger and he got partially scalped and there’s some ugly scarring. I figure that’s fair enough but my bullshit detector is ringing a bit, but who knows! He’s feeling pretty vulnerable so we end up getting back into it and he finishes with the beanie in place and my hands firmly pinned to the bed.

Funniest, weirdest most awkward interlude I’d had for a while…
I think we had one more date, I spent half of it looking at his hair when he wasn’t looking. The hair wasn’t the killer for me though he had some other quirks I wasn’t too keen on, so that was that!

WOW, I don’t think I’ll be able to not look at guys hair now & wonder!

Jerk Off

I like this guy somehow after only chatting for a short time, I think he is respectful & sweet (despite the pseudonym that I chose!), we chatted about spooning but it never went more than that or became gross. The next day he didn’t chat to me when we were both online – you know my weirdo rule, but a few days later he did.

Lots of men will ask you to chat on other apps outside of the online dating app generally because they can send pics of themselves usually dick pics. Whenever they ask for my user name, I am always firm that I will not be sending pics of myself, they say “no of course, not nude ones, just other pics” I always say no. I hate that there are probably so many pics of me online as it is. I only have two on my online dating profile usually but I still hate it.

I shared my user name with Jerk Off & while I don’t regret it, I just can’t believe what some people will send you. On this app you can send pics that don’t last every long, we start chatting on that app, I get a dick pic in his boxers, then one erect & he of course asks me for a pic of my boobs. I decline & he talks a little dirty to me, I don’t really reciprocate but I ended up with a pic of him actually jerking off & cumming. Just what I want to see when I open my phone!

He had a very different cock than what I’ve seen before, his foreskin is really large, more than I ever seen before on an uncircumcised man, but that isn’t the deal breaker, it’s more that I’m not sure I’m that open minded to get a ejaculation video sent to me before I’ve even met the bloody guy in person!

I must be too nice because I don’t stop talking to him when he chats to me the next day on the ejaculation app (as I’ve named it!) & doesn’t really say much at all, I almost think what is the point. I actually hate that I liked this boy; I thought he was a good seed. I guess that’s the thing about online dating, is that you can never tell what the person is going to be like, until you see a video of them ejaculating onto a wooden chest.

I’d love to hear from guys who have done this or send dick pics & what is going through their mind, I don’t speak for all women but my friends & I agree that we don’t want a dick pic, if you are going to send us a pic, we want to see a sexy arm (not a beef cake steroid arm) but a sexy muscular arm or a nice calf, even a nice six pack, but not a cock – especially if we haven’t met you!

Jerk off

He chats to me & sends me pictures on the other app plus he talks to me on the dating site too but we don’t really ever say much besides he says ‘cutie’ & I send a blushing smiley face back. (What else is there to say?)

He chats to me every now & then asking ‘what are you up to gorgeous?’ & things like that, I generally always respond but I don’t think it’s ever going to be anything. In my experience, if someone sends you a dick pic then you are probably never going to meet them or want to meet them.

	2023: Update #2… on 2023 : Update
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	2023: Update #2… on J-Lo
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	2023: Update #2… on 2022 : M8