What If?

When dating, I personally think the worst possible sentence you can say to yourself is ‘What if?’ It’s so dangerous for a person like me who overthinks EVERY single scenario in my head until I make a problem that wasn’t there to begin with.

What if I did this…?

What if I did that instead…?

What if I didn’t send that text…?

What if I just sent that text…?

What if I just let go of all these what if’s & just lived in the moment?

The worst part of that too, is there is no way of knowing if those ‘what ifs’ would’ve changed your life forever. If you sent that text instead of waiting for him to text, if you’d made a move to kiss him rather than waiting for him to make the move would the whole outcome have been different? Would you still be single? Would you have ended up exactly where you are anyway but had a different path? Would it have may you happier or would you still be the same?

I like to dream up these fantasy scenarios & playing them out where it goes in my favour but when I need a good cry (which doesn’t happen often) I pretend that it didn’t go in my favour – usually this is when I am in the shower & of course I’m in the rain. Hahaha. I’m not sure if this makes me weird, but I bet that there are others out there who do the same (I’m like Nina Proudman from the Aussie TV show Offspring who does exactly the same thing – So I’m not entirely alone!). I guess when you’ve been single for as long as I have, you have nothing to do but dream up scenarios about a fictitious boyfriend, who rolls over to spoon you!

What If

What if, what if, what if, my life could be so different with every single one of these guys in this blog. Imagine if I had of text Sparky rather than just waiting for him to ‘let me know’ could that have been something more? What if I just let things keep progressing with Milky & see if that turned into something more naturally rather than trying to force it? What if I had of said something different to Seacliff when he asked ‘am I the only one thinking it?’ What if I was the person I am today with Boyfriend, would things have been different with us? Or would we still have ended up breaking up eventually? Are you destined to be end up right where you are regardless of what you do; you may take a different path but would you end up in the same place?

See what I mean? It’s the worst sentence ever for an over thinker, you cannot turn back time so what is the point of even playing out these scenarios in my head? It doesn’t achieve anything but somehow it makes me feel better!

What if, what if, what if!


3 thoughts on “What If?”

  1. Pingback: Noodle #25

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