Well I feel fucking shit! Even though I know I shouldn’t. (If you didn’t already Orbit yet, then I suggest you go back & read it before you read this… It’ll make more sense – there is lots of Noodle references.) I make the decision not to tell anyone about Orbit – I never told Noodle I was chatting to him, so what’s the point in telling him that I had terrible sex with him. I don’t want to tell anyone at all, I don’t tell any of my friends even, because then it makes it real. That post was the only time I’ve ever talked about Orbit.
But I refuse to tell Noodle what I have done! I’m single, I shouldn’t feel bad about this, but I do! Why? Is it because the sex wasn’t that great? Is it because I have feelings for Noodle? Why do I feel so shit about this? I guess, if I tell anyone about this, then I also have to explain to them, that I am not as loyal as I thought I was… I used to value my loyalty, this is a core value of mine, that at the first sign of trouble, I throw it out the window… I hate that more than fucking another man.
The next morning, I wake up to a message from Noodle saying the usual good morning & sorry that he fell asleep last night. We talk as usual, I am feeling so ridiculous. Noodle just says that he fell asleep last night & of course my mind wanders… His partner is pregnant, probably about 3 or 4 months now & I hear this is the time that women get really horny. I am certain that when he “falls” asleep, that he’s gone to bed with her to fuck her & then just fallen asleep…
The thing that annoys me most about him “falling asleep” than him not saying goodnight to me, is that he’s not ever in bed when he’s chatting to me. He has to get up off the couch & walk to the bedroom. If I ever fall asleep on him & not say goodnight, my phone is literally in my hand when I wake up, having genuinely fallen asleep while typing. Not actively getting up & going to bed without saying goodnight. This is why I think that he’s fucking his partner on these nights & to spare my feelings, he just says he’s fallen asleep. I get that he’s living a double life here, but I hate that it’s always at my expense but I guess to use Noodle’s words, it’s all part of the deal!
I do believe Noodle when he tells me that he has been working hard lately, I know what his job entails having worked retail myself for many many years when I was in my teens & 20’s. He’s also in a new store that needs fixing, so I also get that. I actually admire Noodle’s work ethic a lot, I’ve told him this before & he’s told me that his partner hates that about him. Really? I mean would she rather a dude sit at home on government benefits?
It’s been a few day since I fucked Orbit & a week since I saw last saw Noodle. It’s Tuesday night, our usual night, I am waiting for Noodle to bail but he starts arranging what we’ll do tonight an hour before he finishes work, that I feel much better… He asks me to pick him up from his work so he can leave his phone in the car in the work car park. So I skip the gym & head to Noodle’s work to pick him up at 7:00 pm. He moves his car to the front of the store & leaves him phone behind, getting in my car to go back to my house. We walk into my house, it’s Halloween & I am a little worried that we’ll have some trick or treaters & interrupt us, so I don’t turn on any lights in the front of the house. We make it to the kitchen before Noodle is behind me, grabbing my tits & lifting my dress up. He bends me over the kitchen bench & fingers me from behind, before picking me up & putting me on the bench. He goes down on me, making me cum again as I’m hanging off the bench. Once I’m done, he’s not done with me, he slides me further off the bench so he can fuck me. Well this is a first fucking on the kitchen bench, we’re ticking off the christening of all the rooms in my house! This is what sex should be like – passionate, hot & sexy…
Of course I cum again while Noodle is fucking me, but he doesn’t cum, he helps me off the bench & pushes me down on my knees to suck his cock, I am totally into this, I forget how weird he’s been with me & just enjoy his dominant side. Noodle wants to cum on my face, I’ve always been ok with cum everywhere else but I’m not sure about it on my face, but I kneel there in front of him while he rubs his cock so he cums on me. It gets in my hair & in my eye a little, but I don’t even have time to worry about it, because Noodle is pulling me up & bending me over the bench. He slides in from behind me & grabs my boobs using them to help him pound me hard. I have cum in my eye so I use my phone to look at myself in the selfie camera. I take a couple of snaps of us & while they’re a bit blurry & dark, it is pretty much the only photo I have of us together, of our faces at least. I have a million photos of our genitals together, of him, of me, but there is a shit bath photo of us from when we first started seeing each other, but this is the first one where you can tell it’s us & he actually looked at the camera with me. I treasure that photo, even if we look kind of weird, because he’s fucking me, there’s cum on my face, but he obviously wanted to have a photo with me, because he poses a little.
Noodle doesn’t cum again, but I do! Afterwards I do wipe my face, we both get dressed & he says we better go back to his work. On the way back to his work, I tell him that I have cum in my eyelashes & he says “Lucky they’re not fake” & laughs. I laugh too thinking, is he serious? Does he not realise that I get eyelash extensions? I wish these were real! I tell him that they are fake & he says he has no idea about that kind of stuff.
I pull up at his car, he jumps out but leaves my car the door open & gets his phone, he says there’s no messages, puts his phone back in his car & gets back in my car – that was kind of unexpected. I mean don’t get me wrong, I was a bit sad that we only had a short time together but I thought he would have to go, however he says to go for a drive somewhere because he doesn’t “finish” work until 9:00 pm, so he has another hour to spend with me. We drive around a suburb I used to work in, so I know the backstreets, I find a place to park. I doubt he’ll cum again but I definitely can & do! I ride him in the car, in the front seat, steaming up the car, so we could have a titanic style hand mark on the window… Hahaha.
I hate dropping him back at the car & having to leave him, but I don’t know why I am excited for him to follow me home… My exit on the expressway is before his, so he’ll drive past me, will he flash his lights or beep or wave at me? I’m very intrigued to know. However, only a few minutes down the road he pulls into the petrol station & I keep driving on. I don’t know why that makes me a little sad… Hahaha!
After I get home from dropping Noodle back at his car, I notice my dishwasher, which is black, has a white long drip of something all the way down it. I have a flash back to Noodle cumming on my face, the dishwasher was the backdrop. It’s Noodle’s cum!! I take a picture & send it to him, showing him that it’s his cum, what a dirty reminder of what just occurred at my house!
Noodle tells me “You make me hard a lot. I’m like hard just at the thought of fucking you before I walk into your house haha.” Fuck really? I tell him that makes me feel pretty good, I mean I wouldn’t expect that someone would be hard in the car before walking into my house. I mean I am always turned on thinking about him on his way to my house, I like that he has the same feeling.
This is also the time that, I get called for jury duty! Not only is work crazy for me, the added bullshit of having to do jury duty is fucked… They apparently message you a day before if you’re needed or not. That doesn’t really work with my job, looking back, I should’ve taken the whole month off, however I don’t & just constantly reschedule things are they arise.
The following Tuesday night is the next time I see Noodle, it’s gone from every few days to once a week… He’s been chatting a bit more, not as much of course as he has done in the past but it’s a bit better. What the fuck is going on with him though… Is it because his partner is fucking him or is it because I’m being clinging? Am I being clingy? Is it because we came together the other week? Did that freak him out? Is he feeling guilty? OMG my head is going to explode with all the what ifs & questions…. FUCK!!!
With the drive to & from his work, he is only at my house for an hour tonight. We fuck as always, it’s good sex, it feels good, we are in sync, both of us cumming at separate times, but I’m feeling disconnected from him. I don’t know how to explain it. There is still the passion & excitement there, there is still chemistry & we’re both turned on but the connection with him feels disjointed. It’s been 2 weeks since Orbit, so it’s not that… What is it? I never felt like this with Noodle ever before, even the first time we fucked. I felt more connected with him that night, than I do now… What is happening here…? Why did I get involved with a guy that has so many reg flags not only because of his growing family & partner, but also because of all the personal red flags, the douchyness, the needing to be wanted feeling… Am I just a play thing to him that he got what he needed from? I gave him confidence & made him feel sexy again, she’s fucking him so he doesn’t need me? Everything about this guy said reg flags & I got involved… I have been chatting to this man every single day for 8 months, that’s like 240 days! How did I get so entwined with him? How did I get so caught up in this… How did he become a good friend… FUCK, how did he become my best friend? Why am I so sad about the prospect of this ending…
Could this be the end of Noodle & I?