This is the time to end it… Noodle is being a weirdo, he’s obviously getting what he wants from his partner, his new job is now a priority over me… I mean I knew what I signed up for when I started seeing him, I knew how stupid it was to only fuck one guy but I did it anyway. I knew that I would always be behind his family, but I never thought I would be a priority behind sleeping & his work! He always says that he hates sleeping that he doesn’t do it a lot & that’s true, I’m not sleeping much trying to stay awake to talk to him… But now I’m not sleeping because I’m too busy overthinking all the fucking reasons why he’s not talking to me!
Of course, I don’t fucking end it, for all those hoping that I did, I should because this is a perfect time, but fuck knows why I am so drawn to this man that I don’t. I do however, change my profile picture, I have just had my nieces christening – where I am god mother (Surely the church will burst into flames when I walk in?) & I bought a dress for it, a dress that I almost didn’t buy but, it’s a cute dress & fits me well, it’s short sleeves, short (too short for church!) & hugs my hour glass shape. I wear high blue heels & some navy jewellery. I take a picture before I go out, but Noodle isn’t chatting to me, so he doesn’t see the picture & I make it my profile picture. Everyone comments! All the guys drool over it, I don’t even know why, I honestly almost didn’t buy this dress but I guess I do look good in it! When Noodle does finally talk to me he says “You look cute as fuck in that white dress” Later he tells me that he wants to fuck me in this dress… I don’t tell him that I have been getting private messages saying the same… People are saying in the group, so he knows, but I never tell him I also got private messages. I just can’t deal with the jealously right now.
Noodle talks to me more through the week, things are better, I feel better about us… I am not going to end it, as much as I should… I mean I don’t want to end it, I really don’t. This is the best sex of my life, I have never felt like this before, I can’t get enough of him, which I guess is part of the reason I’m so sad that he’s changed the dynamic, is he had enough of me & I’ll be discarded?
Noodle tells me that his partner isn’t going to be home Friday night & that he wants to fuck me at his house. WTF?! This isn’t a good idea… He explains to me that she’s in a wedding the next day & so she’s staying with the bride & he’ll be home alone except for his son. He wants me to come over once he’s asleep… The idea of this excites me but also scares me. What happens if she comes home or the kid wakes up? I really want to see how & where Noodle lives… But I mean this is overstepping the boundary. I only tell my sister about this & she tells me not to go, but I am in the car typing his address into my GPS when I get her warning. The whole way to his house, I get messages saying not to park in his driveway (as if I was going too) & not to park to close to his house… Fucking hell, why does he even want me to come over if there are so many parking rules.
I pull up a little down the street & tell him that I am there, I notice his overgrown garden, bushes & trees that are covering his house completely. I walk down the gravel driveway trying not to make noise, but of course that’s impossible in my Havaianas on gravel. I see both their cars in the driveway, his is at the back, so at least I know she doesn’t have a car to pop back home to see if he’s cheating. Again, I’m surprised about her. Surprised by the type of car she drives. To be honest, everything about this woman surprises me, she’s not at all like I imagine, I’m not sure why that is… Maybe the way Noodle describes her, or the way I imagine her to be. I am so intrigued about their house.
I walk in & he’s kissing me straight away so I don’t get much time to look around. We fuck on the armchair closest to the door before we move to relax on the couch. Noodle turns on some YouTube thing that he’s been watching, which is a Chester Bennington fundraiser concert, (Chester is from Linkin Park who killed himself a few months ago) We watch it together naked before I see a light switch on outside & I just up behind the curtain, he asks me what I’m doing & I have no fucking idea! He’s laughing & I say what the fuck turned on the outside light & he said probably one of their cats. I freak out so much, that I make him check the apple stalker app to see where she is. She’s safely at her friends, well her phone is at least!
My heart stops racing before I am rubbing Noodles leg & then sitting between his legs, sucking his cock. Before he cums, he picks me up & turns me around his couch so I am facing their kitchen, their house is quite messy, untidy, full of shit really, just as I suspected there is stuff everywhere, nothing like my house but there are 3 living here & it’s quite small. But I don’t have much time to look around before he is slipping into me from behind, as he pulls out, I’m not sure if he means too but he’s fucking my ass, quite hard. I move my hand to rub my clit (which helps loosen you up a little if it’s hurting a bit) & I tell him that he’s fucking my ass, he makes this grunting noise & cums pretty hard. I Can’t believe he just fucked my ass on his couch!
I stay for a while, I know he wants me to stay, we’re talked about it but it’s not a good idea. I sit there naked for a while before I start getting tired & I slowly get dressed, he keeps interrupting me to kiss me or touch me. I think if he leads me to their bedroom, I will fucking cave & stay the night. He doesn’t & I don’t… I get in the car, feeling this weird feeling of happiness that I got a few hours of just Noodle hanging out & being Noodle in his environment for a change & this feeling of sadness about the fact I’m driving away.
On the way home, I see a message from Noodle saying that he wishes I stayed over. We chat for a bit when I get home & I say that I wish I stayed over too, but we both know that’s not a good idea, with his son etc. As much as we want it, we really crossed a line tonight… I reckon this is one of the worst things I have ever done… It’s the worst thing I have done to another woman, that’s for sure! Fuck, though, I really want to find a time when I can sleep with this guy all night, actually sleep lying in his arms!
The next day, Noodle is getting ready for the wedding, he’s also getting his son ready & he sends me pics of the 2 of them pulling faces & smiling in their suits. Fuck Noodle looks hot, I’m reminded of him in this suit fucking me at my house only a few weeks ago… & somehow seeing him with his son, like that actually makes me like him more.
The next day he sends me pictures of him at the wedding & he’s in his suit but wearing white air Jordan sneakers. I look at the picture for a minute before I realise I’ve also never seen him in sunglasses, he looks literally like a model, he’s fucking sexy as fuck! Jesus Christ, I think that look is hot & I tell him so but he tells me that his partner had a massive go at him for wearing sneakers to a wedding. I actually think he looks really good & she should be happy that she’s with the hottest guy at the wedding!
Noodle is now at his new store Tuesday, it’s our regular day to fuck tonight, it might be hard for him to work it out being that this is a brand new store – well he’s been there a few weeks now, but I’m sure he’ll be keen to fuck me, so I don’t worry too much. I get the regular good morning message, I reply with morning & then all day, yes all day he doesn’t reply at all! He doesn’t even read my message. ALL DAY! All fucking day I wait, I refuse to message him, I don’t chat in the groups because I don’t want him to see that I’ve been online. FUCK. I know what is happening here. He can’t come over tonight, so instead of having a conversation with me, he just ignores me. This is the first time that Noodle has ignored me. Why is he ignoring me? Max has ignored me before, even Rob Rob has ignored me after chickening out on meeting me. But Noodle has always had a conversation with me, always been honest.
This is fucked… at 6:20pm that night I send a picture in sexy lingerie & say “I wore this to work today. Was going to skip gym & be on my keens when you got to my house waiting to suck your cock… Pity I’m not worth a measly conversation anymore…” He reads it almost instantly & replies “OMG you are worth a convo. Fuck me you look hot. I have had a legit busy day”
OMG, if I hear busy one more time from anyone, I will strangle a man! “You’ve been pulling away for weeks & now that your clearly not going to see me tonight just sends the message that you want me to end this…” AM I INSANE?! OMG, what am I even doing? I mean he has been weird for weeks, but I mean he doesn’t want to fuck me once & I start writing him off?! JESUS, no wonder I’m single! I have to wait hours for him to even read that message. Fucking prick. I send him a final message at 11:30 pm before I go to sleep “Message received Noodle, loud & clear.”The next morning I have calmed down a bit & he hasn’t looked at my message, so I message him & say good morning with a question mark. 3 hours later he finally replies… what the fuck is going on with this guy. He’s now acting like every other guy on the planet. “Morning, no don’t want to end anything! Had to go to bed early last night. Got up at 4am, had to start early cos I got a docs appointment at 2pm today.” Well, why not tell me that yesterday? He always finds time to message me, what’s the big deal here? “Yeah I had to be up early too Noodle, but I haven’t slept a wink cos you are being weird lately & I can’t stop thinking about it” he asks how he’s being weird. “I know your response to everything I’ll say… but I can’t help the way I feel” he tells me that the lead up to Christmas is busy for him, like I didn’t already know that having worked in retail, “I know you’re busy, That’s what you say all the time… But lately you read my messages then never reply & don’t come back online at night… I’m fucking busy too, not that you’d even know, but I always make time. You used to too…” he tells me that he does make time for me & comes back on most nights. “Not as much as you used too… it’s not in my head, don’t make me feel like it is” He’s that he wasn’t implying it’s all in my head & that he messages me as much as he can. “You had no intentions of seeing me Tuesday night I thought about it all day , I had back to back meetings & was finalise a big project & you wrote one message to me… But you’re being totally honest?!” he’s not being honest with me, as much as he says that he is “I thought about it all day just wasn’t sure how I was going to tell you cos I know it would piss you off” Oh right, so instead of telling me you can’t see me, you ignore me all day? Fuck men are so stupid! I tell him “You’re not the only ones who’s busy Noodle… I won’t bother trying to fit you into my day anymore.” He starts writing back straight away but I refuse to read it. I put my phone down & ignore the stupid app…