Guest Blogger: Sex, Drugs & Rock N Roll

Another story for you from my guest blogger friend, I can’t say this has ever happened to me.

Sex, Drugs and Rock N Roll

(aka Woodwork Booty Call Weekend)

So the title doesn’t sound great hey? It’s actually one my regrets in my single life… It isn’t indicative of who I am as a person.
On one hand, the guys would say “Fuck Yeah” and from a female point of view, typical bloke.
Just to be clear, no drugs, not much rock n roll, shit load of sex.
So this is in between “The One” and “the Animal” for those keeping up. And yes I’m going backwards…
So after “The one” had crushed my heart, I was in need of a weekend to forget about it for a bit, all my friends had other plans on my kids free weekend, so, stuff it… I’m a confident guy that can just do this shit himself, let’s get smashed and see what I can pick up (cause you know, random sex makes you feel better!)
So, it’s Friday afternoon, thinking of just hitting City, the Union possibly, maybe Hindley st, who knows, who cares!
Random messenger text… Now I know this happens to the girls a fair bit, generally not blokes… Message from BC2 (booty call 2)
Have not heard from BC2 for 6 months… last I heard she meet a guy not long after me….
“Hey! How are you? Thought of you the other day, and how long it’s been since we caught up. How’s things? Are you seeing anyone?”
So the explanation comes if not a great experience recently and that this weekend is all about me…
“Oh no…you need some cheering up, how about we do coffees tomorrow morning after gym?”
Yeah fuck it, why not, she’s fit, super hot, and well… the sex was great, and she’s a nice girl. Play my cards right…
About a hour later….
BC3… 9 months since I’ve seen her…
“Saturday catch up? Been ages”
“Yep, how does lunch sound?”
“Awesome see you then!”
Ok, BC3… running chick, own business, funny, attractive… fuck… might get two in a day…
In very quick succession (because I’ll condense all this!)
Sex Drugs & rock n roll

Similar messages, same reaction… stuff it, why not? The common theme here? All from 6 months to 12 months since we had been on a date… and sad to say, hadn’t worked out, yet after two three dates had slept with all of them. So you just never know, could come to something… yet ladies and gentleman, my mind was just on sex. Nothing else. And where was theirs? Well… you guessed it.
You may be asking where’s BC1? That’s coming!! (or did… anyway!)
So with a heap of dates set(?), the last three set for Saturday night, and Sunday Brunch and a Sunday afternoon drink… away we go. 5:00 pm hits, and into town I head…
Waymouth St. Beer and Vodka. Normal crowd building by 9:00 pm, chatting to some random people, couple I know, a few really pissed guys in suits… that’s keeping me entertained for sure.
9.30 pm… order a Vodka lime and soda…
A tall, blonde lady catches the eye… I know that girl?
Walks in with a guy… shit, that sucks.
Alcohol fuzziness eludes me of the name…
Uh huh! Got it! BC1…
Shit! Been 18 months at least… must be kid free… fuck it… have to say Hi, that one night… hot.
Wander over as she is standing at bar…
“Hey there Miss, can I buy you a drink? Grenache perhaps?”
OMG… get the biggest “Hey” I’ve ever had.. Awesome! In!
Pleasantries completed, drinks ordered, life story of last 18 months talked over…
Guy she was with kept trying to butt in, eventually introduced as a guy she meet down the road… yeah whatever.
Conversation continues, more drinks added.
“Cmon, come to the dance floor”
“What about the guy?”
“Oh my dear, you’re hotter, so shit your arse out there “
Uh huh! Bingo! Dressing well works! (By the way… he was in some weird cotton t-shirt that didn’t look like it had been washed at all, shit denim jeans and some really bad flip flop things… Chinos and shirt all the way!)
Ok… dancing… gets closer… then kissing… then hands moving freely…
More drinks
More dancing (by this time the guy had worked it out, and left)
BC1 “I’m ready to go home, no more for me”
“Ok, I’ll come out and wait for the taxi with you”
“Naaw, sweet”
Stumble out, bundle lovely lady into a taxi… not gracefully mind you, and considering she had a one piece black, shirt dress on and heels, didn’t leave a great deal to imagination when she couldn’t get in!
“Shit!, my knickers are showing!” yeah, not shit! Anyway…
In she gets… lean in to kiss good bye (thinking stuff it, I may as well just jump in)
“Are you coming or not?” (Not yet I’m not LOL!)
The usual back of taxi antics, and yes, he would have been privy to a almost poem style show… wait for it…
Arrive at her address…
Me… ”Nice house!”
“Just moved here… it needs christening!”
Happy friggin days!
Now, this whole time, I had actually had flashbacks to the “One”, however not now… I’m about to fuck a super hot blonde…
Taxi takes off…
“I left my knickers in the taxi!!!!!” She cries
Doh… ah well….
In we go….
Clothes of in the hallway, you can guess the rest… thank god she had the condom supplies… needed 3.
(Please remember this is all pretty condensed)
Sleep time… spooning… all that nice stuff we all miss.

5:00 am…. beep beep beep
Alarm…. are fucking serious? 5:00 am!!!!!!!
“WTF is the alarm going off for????”
BC1 “Oh, it’s gym time”
WTF? I love my gym, seriously? 5:00 am on a Saturday? Guess to have the hot bod, got to the work! (Don’t I know it!)
“You can sleep though, in fact don’t think I’ll go”
Fall back to sleep… all good right? Might get some morning action?
Wake at 8:00 am… hungover, shagged out, tired.
Roll over… WTF. She’s not there… maybe she’s up already. Walk out to kitchen. Nope. Toilet. Nope.
Note on Kettle.
‘Make yourself a coffee, use the pods, I’ve gone to gym. Just pull front door closed when you leave, I won’t be back until this afternoon. Great to see you again. May run into again sometime. Had a great night as always spunky man. xxxxx’
What???? She has left me here by myself! WOW! Ok.
Coffee done. Felt really weird cause it wasn’t my house… anyway, washed up, got dressed and walked outside.
Pretty sure I was still pissed, and needed a way to get home, yet didn’t want to spend a fortune on a taxi or Uber.
Shit. I’ll call my mate and see if he will come and get me…
“Hey mate, Where is this suburb in relevance to the city? And can come and get me so I can get my car?”
“Sweet Jesus dickhead, that’s like halfway across the state!”
Google maps…. holy shit! Don’t remember the taxi ride being that long!
“See you in 45, you can tell me the rest when I get there”
Cheers mate! Love your work…
Mate arrives… story told… as is the rest of the weekend planned…
His reply “I bet you won’t fuck all of them, and if you do I will laugh”
Challenge accepted….
His last piece of advice… which is very true…
“You know if you do this though, it won’t bring her back to you, and it won’t help with the hurt, you need to process it before you start doing anything else… you will regret this in the end”
Yeah whatever, I’m not listening, not interested… I’m hungover, need a shower, and need to get my arse to the eastern suburbs for my coffee catch up…
Those words from my best mate… still hear them, and he was right. Didn’t make it better… yet I wasn’t in mindset to listen…
On we go to coffee catch up with BC2… and possibility of more sex…
Very interesting advice from his friend! Definitely agree.
Also who leaves a guy in their house that they don’t know to go to the gym?

Why Are You Single?

One thing I get a lot, not necessarily from single men, but from all my friends, colleagues is ‘Why are you single?’ & then they proceed to list your qualities on their fingers, usually no more than five but at least three things that they like about you, that they think men are looking for in you & while you agree with the qualities they’ll list, you know that generally these aren’t the reasons why you are single.

So why am I single? I own my own home & have done for more than a decade, I hold steady job where I am quite successful & passionate, I am very well-traveled including having lived overseas in my mid-twenties, I am smart, I am funny & love to laugh, I don’t think I’m hideous to look at (though you may never know the answer to that!), I have a wide variety of interests – now including sport & recreation activities or music/comedy gigs, I don’t have kids & never been married so have no baggage & I love to go out but also love to stay in.

So what is it about me that people love to chat to me online & will say how perfect I am & how much they can’t wait to meet me, then when we meet, there is something that changes for them. They either say ‘do you want to catch up again’ I say yes but may never see them again. Or they leave after one hour & say there was no chemistry for them.

Why are you single

I honestly don’t know what it is & the more good dates I go on with a bad ending the more jaded I get & the harder it is for me to let someone in. I think that’s what scares me the most, is that now I am too damaged, to be a girlfriend. I mean I say I don’t have baggage because I don’t have an ex hanging around or kids but I might have even worse baggage that those ladies (at least their baggage is out in the open, mine is hidden so that I don’t even see it & am only really coming to terms with it).

So I’m trying a new thing, dating a guy from online that I may not think is that good looking or that I am that into. By trying other things as well, when a friend suggests to set me up, I am going to go. If nothing else happens with these men that I’m not attracted to, I’m sure there will be a blog post out of it.

So that’s what I’m trying to move forward doing, being more open! It seems good in theory but I’m not sure that it’s going to be good in practice, because usually what will happen for me (I’m sure you’ve all experienced this) is that a guy you’ve gone on a date with that you aren’t really that attracted to, is the one that finds you amazing, your friends will say give him a go, so you’ll go on a few boring dates, he’ll get attached, perhaps a little needy & turn you off. Then once you end things with him your friends will say “you’re so picky.” Well I don’t want to settle with someone & if there are alarm bells in the first few weeks, I don’t think those alarm bells go away just because you give the guy a go.

So perhaps my friends are right, I am too picky but I’m like Carrie Bradshaw, I’m looking for inconvenient, consuming, can’t live without each other love.


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One of my no no’s for a profile is to write that you want “a girl who looks after themselves”, I hate it with a passion, I don’t even know what they mean by it & do men not understand what type of message it sends to a woman? So I almost didn’t add this guy because of it, plus he is younger & I wasn’t really sure about his pictures either – he doesn’t exactly look like he looks after himself, but we started chatting a bit & it was quite good, he gave me his number & we started texting. We text a lot, like every day all day, that I was getting to a point that if I don’t meet this guy soon I am going to get too attached. So when he asked to go out on the weekend I say yes. He texts me all day of the date night but then at like 3:00 pm he says his mum called & wants to do Mother’s Day dinner. I say it’s all good, have a great night & end up going out with a friend & the ‘Bowie’ evening happened (probably also because Bowie said that it was bullshit that Origin had to go to a family thing.) Red Flag!

Anyway he continues to text me the next day when I’m feeling sorry for myself, hungover & shameful that I had sex with someone the night I was supposed to catch up with Origin. But all through the next week, we text every day, we send each other random pics of our furniture & we joke a lot with great banter calling each other names & about him not having a TV in his room & me having a king sized bed. We also text about everything that we hate about meeting people, I say how I hate that you never know what to do when you walk up, give them a kiss on the cheek? A handshake? or worse, wave at them? There’s also the awkwardness if they go to kiss you on the cheek but you go to shake their hand, then you end up with their dick in your hand. Bahahaha. Origin says he agrees & that he’ll kiss me on the cheek hello. I also talk about how my friend always tells me that I might come across superficial because I always talk about my renovations or where I’m travelling too next, I explain that it’s not to make them feel bad or to prove that I am better than them, it’s because I am finally in a place in my life that I can finally do things to my house. I think we’ve got all the awkwardness out of the way!

He finally asks me out again to have a drink. He texts me all day before the date but I also think that he’ll bail so I plan the coffee date with Woody because I also think that this will be the end of chatting to Origin, as per every other date I have been on.

All throughout the day he messages to say he’s been shopping to have something to wear & he’s a brand snob so he’s bought a Ralph Lauren jumper, so I start freaking out thinking I need something nice & new to wear. After a long three hours at the hairdresser I have one hour until my next appointment for the day to go shopping, I run into my favourite shop & try on ten tops before running out with three. I run into another shop for tops to wear underneath & then into a cheap funky jewelry shop to buy a necklace or ring.

We plan to meet at & 7:30 pm but he’s texting saying he’s ready when I’m on the date with Woody, so I say perhaps 6:30 pm. He’s there when I arrive, drinking a beer, he stands up & gives me a kiss on the cheek as previously discussed (Cute!) & he asks if I want a drink, I say I’ll get it but he follows me to the bar & buys me a wine. We chat easily, about all sorts, he says he got there at 6:10 pm because he didn’t want to be late. When he asks me which football team I go for, I say that I don’t really follow football but if I have to I just go for the team my primary school friend went for because they were the only games I ever watched, he says which team & when I tell him he gets excited as it’s his team! Scored some points there without even trying!

We have a few more drinks & he says he’s hungry, I agree & he says ‘we’ll do Rock Paper Scissors to see who gets a menu’ I wish I had of played instead of saying ‘I’ll get them, I don’t mind’ but anyway we’re trying to decide what to eat because he wants a schnitzel because I talked about it all week, but he doesn’t want a whole one, so I suggest we share & get an entrée too. He agrees & I go up to order since he’s paid for all the drinks so far. I don’t know what type of gravy he wants so I order & when I get back I ask which gravy he would’ve wanted, he says pepper, I say no, he says Dianne & I say yes. Cute, scoring more points now!

We share dinner & 3 & a half hours later we decide it’s time to go, he walks me to his car & he’s parked almost nose to nose with me, he asks if I want to catch up again, I say yes. (I actually had a really good time & he’s better looking in real life that his douche selfies.) he says give us a kiss pecks me on the lips & does this cute tickle on my stomach – which makes my tummy jump, before we go our separate ways.

I live about 3 minutes from the pub, so I’m home & in bed within about 8 minutes when I get a text from him, saying he had a good night & would’ve stayed longer if his dogs weren’t inside. I respond letting him know I had a good time too, when he says ‘sorry about that shitty kiss, I’m better than that’ I again say that’s ok & maybe next time it’ll be better.


He texts me the next day to see how I am & he revels his sick with a sore throat, so I say that I’m glad he didn’t kiss me. He agrees & we chat a fair bit for the next few days, he takes the days off work so I keep asking how he is & we text a bit. On Wednesday morning I ask how he’s doing & he says he’s back at work, what are my work plans for the day, I say I’m in the city most of the day & he suggests we catch up for coffee, so I rearrange my lunch break to meet him for coffee near his work. I thank god silently that I got up that morning & put on a full face of makeup & had washed my hair the night before as I am going out for dinner with a girl friend. I also was going to wear the top I wore on Saturday night but wore another one, which was bloody lucky!

I’m in the coffee shop when he arrives looking like a homeless person, t-shirt, jeans & beanie but he’s still cute. He offers to buy me a coffee & we talk really easily for 25 minutes before he has to go back to work. I can’t believe how quickly the time goes. We walk out of the shops & he says ‘Gee you are short aren’t you?’ I laugh as he’s not that much taller than me & I say that to him, but he says he feels tall. I get the feeling he doesn’t want to show me which building he works in but I parked my car that way so we walk together. He says he doesn’t want to kiss me & get me sick so he’s not being a prick, I agree so we just stand awkwardly saying goodbye, he says ‘we’ll catch up again’ I say yeah & he imitates me saying yeah & laughs, I say ‘fuck off’ with a giggle & he says ‘see ya jerk’ & we both laugh & walk off…


Guest Blogger: Sex On The Beach

Another one from my guest blogger & fellow blogger. Anyone remember MIA Undies? Kinda seems like I’m not 100% alone, except maybe for the loosing my undies part. Hahaha.

Sand paper condom! Oh god, that brings back memories.

The link to her new FB page to follow her is  –

Thanks again for sharing. This is exactly why I started blogging. So I know I am not alone!



Reactivating my account, I get more likes than I ever have before, I chat to an electrician guy who asks if I’m free to catch up. He looks alright on his profile & we’ve chatted a fair bit so I think why not, what could it hurt. If worse comes to worse, then it’s just a good story for my blog!

He suggests the worst local pub near my house to catch up & I immediately say no & suggest one that has just been done up, so we decide to meet there. I walk in & don’t see him straight away so I go to the bar to get a wine so I turn around he’s at the other end of the bar so I walk up to him & say hello. He’s pretty much like his pictures but in real life he reminds me so much of Cruise & I am kinda not really attracted to him.

The drink goes well, I talk a lot which is what I do when they are quiet & I make him laugh a lot but he doesn’t really make me laugh at all. It’s easy for me when I don’t find them that attractive to be the person I am, not the shy person that guys I like see which is probably why the men I don’t like get to see the real me & actually want to see me again.

We have a couple of drinks but it’s so windy & cold that we decide to go, he walks me halfway to my car & asks if I want to catch up again, which I say yes, then he says he’ll hug me goodbye & I kinda do an awkward kiss on the cheek at the same time, not really thinking & so we kinda leave awkwardly as I didn’t actually kiss his cheek. SUPER!

I get home & minutes later there is a message on the app from him saying hey cutie, thanks for tonight, here is my number, hope we can catch up again. Why when things go ok with a guy, do I start thinking about Milky? We weren’t ever a coupe for fuck sake, he didn’t like me, he was short & lied about his age, why would I want to be with that? But I also thought about the Seacliff guy, I was actually really interested in him.


So I don’t want to lead on this guy by messaging him but I also don’t want to give up on something that could be good just because I like someone else who doesn’t like me at all. But I message him & a few weeks later after about 10 texts in total we arrange another date, coffee on a Saturday afternoon & possibly a walk.

We catch up for a coffee, he arrives & buys the coffees – Well hot choc for me as I don’t like coffee, we chat for a bit, it’s a little awkward & hasn’t gotten any better to be honest, there are a few silences which make me uncomfortable, when he finally says that the sun is in his eyes, we get up less than an hour later to go. We have an awkward goodbye & he says we should catch up again, I say the usual yeah, but don’t really mean it. I think he gets it too because I haven’t heard from him.


We’ve Fucked Before

Having deleted my accounts several times, I forget who I’ve chatted to in the past. Nicknames look familiar but you never know if they’ve deleted their accounts & changed their nicknames as often as I do. So there comes a time in little ol Adelaide when you start chatting to someone that you start to feel a little connection with, think might be really cool then they start to talk dirty to you. I reply saying that I don’t want to fuck random guys anymore, I’m looking for more. Expecting to be ignored & him stop talking to me, so I’m surprised when the little icon comes up to say that he’s typing. I wait to see what line this dude has, like I haven’t heard every line in the book yet… But I was not expecting him to say ‘We’ve fucked before!’

FUCKING HELL, how slutty can I be not to remember someone I’ve slept with? I start to go through my mental list of men I’ve slept with & cannot remember this guy, I ask him when & he says last year. That doesn’t help, that was about the time I was just about screwing a different guy each week. I ask why we never saw each other again. He says that I went away for work & he got busy, which is fair enough, I do travel a bit for work but I think why wouldn’t he message me when he wasn’t busy. I also ask him what his name is again & he gives me a different name to when we first started chatting. Who the fuck is this?!

So he asks if we can catch up that Friday night, he wants to have a shower with me so I figure, it’s not going to be another notch on my bedpost that maybe I could meet up with this guy. Clearly our first meeting wasn’t significant that I didn’t have a story about him or even remember it so it couldn’t have been that bad, right? I give him my number, which I NEVER do, I always ask for theirs, I thought this might help the previous text messages in my phone from him & piece together the evening we caught up. He never texts me but later than night on the dating app, he starts talking to me, I’m like what are you doing dude. He asks to come over after the gym in the morning when I have my shower, I say sure, text me. He doesn’t so I don’t bother with him anymore. I end up going away for work again & he chats to me so many times on the app but never texts me.

Somehow, we exchange details to get off the dating app and onto a different chat app, where he sends me dick pics (Yaye – Not.) & I question him more about when we caught up. He doesn’t seem to have a lot of info so I go though my phone & find text messages that I think might be his, then it all comes together… Oh god!

2018-08-22 21.02.48-2

The night I slept with him, I went out on a winery tour all day with my friend, I was drunk & trying to get Hockey Puck to come over again, but of course he was playing his ‘I’m sick’ game. So I cracked the shits with him & told him to fuck me or fuck off. I got online & as I’d been talking to this guy, we text & he came over as I was getting dropped off. I still don’t really remember the sex with him but he does tell me that we talked a little, kissed then I sucked his cock, we had sex but then he was embarrassed because he came so quickly, so he didn’t want to see me again. I say that there are so many more reactions that he could have had besides getting up & leaving. He doesn’t ask me what I mean, but for the regular readers, he could of stayed a little longer so I didn’t feel like a whore, he could have spent some time on me being that I didn’t cum during our short sexcapade, he could of waited till he was ready to have sex again & tried to go a bit longer than the first time. He didn’t need to get up & leave making me feel cheap.

Now that I think about it, do I really want to catch up with this guy again?


Hockey Puck #3

Yeah this guy is still hanging around since the day I ended things with Milky. He texts me all the time, tells me how much he wants me, we try to set up a time to catch up but we never seem to get the time to catch up yet some how we sext a bit, I get sucked in it & always end up really turned on. It’s totally not what usually happens when someone sexts me, I usually think it’s a bit hilarious. But with Hockey Puck I seem to get caught up in it & actually really enjoy it. He seems to write exactly what I have pictured in my fantasies (even though he only knows a few tidbits) but he some how gets me to reciprocate.

One day while working away he said he wanted to get my panties wet while I was at work (I hate the word panties!) I was sitting in a board room, reading his texts while listening to someone babble on, but he was saying what he wanted to do to me under the table & I swear to god that I could of cum, if the meeting didn’t finish. I ended up going back to the hotel immediately (even though I didn’t have the time) & made him text me sexy things until I did cum. I didn’t think I had many firsts left regarding sex but it was the first time I was that wet from texts.

I ask him on the way home from my work trip if he wants to catch up this weekend, he says ‘we’ll make it happen’ I text him a few times on the Friday but then never hear from him again, until a week later on the Sunday saying how much he wants me. I respond with is ‘I am having déjà vu?’ I explain to his what that we’ve been here before, a few times, I’m getting over it, so he asks what I’m doing right now, (but I’ve also seen him come up on my dating profile & he’s looking for British girls as he’s moving to the UK in 2016.) he says he’s not moving for a while but I say that I can’t this weekend & I’m kinda getting over it.


We’ve had sex once & this has now been going on for almost two months with absolutely nothing but text messages, I just think that what is the point… I’m deciding to leave this one alone! Or will I? I don’t know, I say I am, but stay tuned because with me you never know what I might do since I’m a masochist, I can only assume that I will be quite happy to go back for more if he continues to text me. However I think that’s probably the last I will hear from this one, his cat is now out of the bag – him moving to the UK – & I have told him several times that I am not looking for anything casual now, I want more than that now.

UPDATE: He came up recently as a friend I may know on FB. I don’t know how but he did. I looked at his profile pic, with a chick. Assuming his girlfriend, while I’m still single. Lovely…


Milky #5

Well where do I start with this one, the one that doesn’t want me, but apparently doesn’t want me to have anyone else.

So Easter is not the last I hear from him, he texts me before I go on a date with Too Eager less than two weeks later, again just as I start to forget about him, he texts to say ‘Guess who I got matched with online haha’ Um, WTF! Why would he text me to tell me that? What is wrong with this guy? What is the point of that text. I have no idea what to write back so I just say ‘oh yeah, who? Someone awesome I bet!’ the next day he responds ‘haha well I’m sure that they would say that they’re awesome lol’ Double WTF? I don’t respond for ages. I don’t know what to say to him. I just want him to fuck off now, I mean any feelings I thought I had for this guy are rapidly evaporating.

I do have one thing to thank Milky for & that is how much he opened my eyes to a different sexual world. We didn’t really do anything majorly kinky & I would of liked to try more with him but it’s really made me more aware of myself & more confident (perhaps), sex since him has been a lot better than before him, that’s for sure.

A friend said to me that to you can’t do the casual thing for more than three months, that’s usually when you start having feelings for someone. She’s probably right, I really made it about three months before I actually like him & that’s about when we didn’t see each other as much & I had to say something to him about what we were doing.

I end up writing back to Milky, putting it out there that I like him but also saying fuck off. I ask ‘why do you keep texting me Milky? You know I really like you & while you rank fairly high for the best sex I’ve had, I just can’t do it anymore. The casual thing was ok for a while but now we want different things. I want exclusivity, you don’t. I think we need to just leave it at that’

While I secretly hope that it’s not the end of him, (God only know why I am think I am attracted to him!) but I am also not holding my breath as I haven’t heard back from him, so I hope that he gets the message & I can move on, find someone else who is that good in bed but actually likes me.

Is it that I am so desperate for a bit of affection that I just attach to anyone who shows the slightest bit of interest in me? Do I actually really like this guy or is it just that he kept coming back for more? I am starting to get concerned that the reason all these guys get to hurt me is because I am not actually looking for someone I like, I am looking for someone that likes me. Now that’s a scary thought!


Bonus Post: Question Time!

The question I am get the most is actually about me or who I am. I don’t want give away too much as I am barely dateable as it is… Imagine if men knew I was blogging about them!

So I found some questions on a website, which I thought I would answer for you all, gives you a little insight, but still keeps my anonymity.

  • Any upcoming travel plans?
    • Kangaroo Island (Work then a weekend away) – Jan 2019
    • Nepal & India – Oct 2019
  • What brought you here?
    • My crazy dating life!
  • When you’re not working, how do you like to spend your time?
    • Gym
    • Writing about the dates I’ve been on!
  • What are you reading currently?
    • Other dating blogs
  • What’s the first concert you attended?
    • 5ive – As in “Five bad boys with the power to rock you, blow your mind so you gotta get into, 5, 4, 3, 2, lets do it!”
  • Where do you most hope to visit?
    • Scandanavia & MexicoGet to know me
  • What’s your favourite book?
    • A summer to die
  • What’s your favourite 90’s show?
    • Friends or Sex & The City
  • What’s your dream job?
    • If I could sing, I’d be a singer.
  • What’s your favourite word?
    • Dude
  • What was your first job?
    • Service Deli Chick
  • What was the worst job you’ve ever had?
    • The ‘save’ call centre for a telco. I had no idea how to save customers when they wanted to cancel!
  • What is your most-used emoji?
    • 🤔
  • What was your favourite subject in school?
    • English or Drama
  • If you had to eat one thing for every meal going forward, what would you eat?
    • Cheezels
  • If someone were to play you in a movie, who would you want it to be?
    • Reese Witherspoon (apparently we look similar… I wish!)
  • What’s one thing about you that surprises people?
    • Their ability to stay in an unhappy relationship
  • Who, or what, was your biggest teacher?
    • An ex-partner (stories to come).
  • What was something you’ve done that made you feel extreme happiness?
    • Fell in love
  • What qualities do you value in the people with whom you spend time?
    • Honesty & sense of humor
  • For what would you be famous?
    • This blog? Hahaha.
  • What’s your guilty pleasure?
    • Watching The Bachelor or The Bachelorette or Bachelor in Paradise.
  • Has anything ever happened to you that you could not, and cannot, explain?
    • Why I am still single… Like WTF happened there?
  • For what are you most grateful today?
    • My family & friends
  • If you could have one ‘do over’ in your life, what would you do differently?
    • The relationship with the man I fell in love with, not necessarily to change what happened,  but to feel that again.
  • Of what are you most afraid?
    • Spiders

(Questions stolen from….

Anyway, I hope these answers help you get to know me better but feel free to ask any you like!! Obviously my life is an open book, this blog is basically my journal!


Whats App

I met a guy online that was from Adelaide but living in Melbourne & just here for Christmas holidays. We chat online for a bit before we exchange numbers & start using the Whats App app. He asked to catch up but I said that I might be going to this nightclub reunion thing, he said he wanted to go to that too, it wasn’t till about 8:00pm that night, that my friend & I decided to actually go.

We got into the city about 10:00pm, the club is packed, it’s so hot & it’s so hard to move anywhere, even on the sidelines, not just the dance floor. The whole time Whats App is messaging me, saying that he is coming too, but of course I’m not one to spend the whole night staring at my phone, we’re on the dance floor boogieing away. When I do check my phone, he lets me know that he is there & on the dance floor. I reply where we are, but pretty much every time I do, my friend & I move. I don’t do this on purpose & my friend knows that I am meeting him here, but he also keeps moving rooms as well.

Whats app2

Eventually, I say that I am going to the toilets, my friend waits outside & when I come out she is talking to him. (She told me later that she just asked him if he was looking for me) He hugs me hello, he isn’t really like his pictures, he’s cute but I’m not really attracted to him. We talk for a few minutes & suggest going to the dance floor, but he never comes. We lose him in the crowd or he just doesn’t want to come, I don’t know but it’s the last I see him. He does text me a few times & later lets me know that he’s left the club.

I’m not really sure what it is about me, it was clear that we were just going to hook up (from our original interaction & chats) being he lived interstate, but then they meet me & don’t want too? It’s shortly after this that my casual encounters stop for a little while, I don’t know why it’s so hard to get a guy into bed, I mean I would have thought that a chick telling a guy all she wants from you is sex, you’d be jumping at the chance to do it.



Most women have one, I’m sure of it, a checklist of what their dream guy would have, not necessarily in looks, unless they have a specific type, but all their other attributes. I’ve talked about it a few times, mine is long, but I never ever expect anyone to have all of it, this is just my dream list:

  • Makes me laugh
  • Likes music, live events & going out
  • Honest
  • I find them attractive
  • Chemistry
  • Well-travelled
  • Own a house/unit/apartment
  • Educated
  • Working full time
  • Drives a Holden or decent car at least
  • No kids, doesn’t want kids or has kids of his own already.
  • Single
  • Family orientated
  • Good in bed
  • Love an accent!

But let’s face it, no guy is ever going to have all that & if they do, they are usually with one of my friends! (Hahahha… eh)


None of this actually matters with someone you actually like, for example Milky hadn’t been overseas, he did own a house, don’t think he was tertiary educated, he didn’t have a job for almost two months while we were seeing each other, he drove a ford, he didn’t have kids & I assume he was single, he made me laugh, he said he liked going out yet we never did, he was family orientated, fairly honest, I found him attractive the more & more we caught up & he was good in bed!

You can see why my friends think I am fussy, but this list stems from my own accomplishments that I think would be attractive to a man, I have a house, I’m educated, I’m very well travelled, my job is great, I don’t have kids or baggage but all this equates to for most men is that I’m intimidating. I scare them off by being a smart independent woman.

I generally only use this list when I know I am never going to see them again, it protects my heart a little, I can say to my friends ‘Well he had nothing on my list anyway’ when probably in truth, the list means didilly squat..

Now my list is:

  • Someone who actually likes me



If you follow my blog, you’ll know my Birthday story where I talk about the two types of drunk guy sex. I’ve never had a number one happen to me with a sober guy (well this guy drove to my house so I assume he was sober!)

I met Flaccid (poor guy what a horrible pseudonym) online & we chatted a fair bit online before we finally exchanged numbers, we text a little bit for a few days but then one weekend night we’re texting, I invite him over but he says he’s going to call me. We talk on the phone for about 40 minutes before he says he’ll come over. He tells me that he hasn’t done this type of thing before & he’s nervous.

He comes over & lays on my bed next to me, we have some small talk before he asks me ‘what I am going to do with him now that I have him here’ so I lean in & we kiss. As we start undressing each other, I reach over to my night stand for a condom & ask him to put it on, he obliges & we start having sex. It’s not the greatest sex ever but he starts kissing my neck, not in a ‘I’m giving you a hickey’ type of kissing but proper kissing up & down my neck while rhythmically pounding into me, I’m surprised that I’m about to climax without much assistance at all, which has been usual for me. But then he stops everything!

He sits up and takes of the condom saying he can’t stay hard. Great! that’s not something that a girl wants to hear, right when she was actually about to climax before you stopped. He stuffs around for ages but he never gets hard again. He ends up leaving shortly after, I think probably due to embarrassment.


He messages me next time I am on the app & asks if I want to catch up with him again, I say yes & explain how close I was & how unusual that was, he seems pretty pleased. He texts me a few times & calls really late at night one night but I didn’t get it till the morning as I was asleep.


Hockey Puck

During my phase of ‘I don’t want a boyfriend’ I stumble across this younger but cutish guy that I think is alright & might be good for yet another one night stand. However when we start texting & he asks me to tell him five facts about myself, I think start to think that this one might be different, we text facts back & forth all night, I stayed up late waiting for his responses that make me smile. When he text first thing the next day I grinned like a fool, texting all day even though I should have been doing work – these texts all day go on for about a week before we talk about catching up.Hockey Puck

We arrange to meet up at my house to watch Netflix, he comes over & sits on the couch not really seeming interested or looking at me, but makes me watch crime shows all night, as I walk him out & don’t get a kiss goodnight, I just assume that he’s not interested at all. Jumping into bed feeling another dating disaster story for my blog, when my phone flashes with a text, it’s him! He says something about how he had a good time & wanted to kiss me but didn’t know if he should, I said I was interested but didn’t know if he was. That’s when texts get dirty, we talk about all sorts, but not in a creepy way, I still feel like this guy was a good guy. He makes me skip the gym the following week & he comes over again, he kisses me this time & we have reasonably good sex (he remembers things I like in bed, like having my hands pinned above my head, which he did a few times) & then I cook him chicken nuggets. Romantic!

I didn’t realise that I had actually started liking this guy, even though he had nothing on my imaginary list for the perfect guy. He was younger than me, was living with his parents, was studying so not working & hadn’t travelled.  But when I get nothing from him the next day, I think I should send him a text first, show that I am interested in him, but I get one word answers back, so I just stop.

The next day still nothing from him & I start to question what I look like naked & how good I am in bed, that I just think I need to see if this is it with this guy, so at one last ditch attempt, I text him & ask what happened, he responds that he’s not looking for anything serious & doesn’t want to hurt me. I remind him that I’m the one who wanted something casual but I bid him goodbye.

On my way to a regional trip the next day he texts asking what I mean by ‘casual’ I explain that a bit more sex but a lot less texting. He continues to text me for a few days saying how much he wants me & complementary things he liked about my body or what we did together (so obviously not my looks or sexual abilities) so one afternoon as we’re texting, I get home from work & invite him over, suddenly he’s not feeling well & can’t come over. A few days later the same thing, I say come over but he’s still not feeling well. In the end I crack the shits at him when I was drunk when he was texting me so I tell him to fuck off.

Weeks later I start getting texts again from him, I wrote back to one but ignored the follow up message… so stay tuned, who knows what might happen!

UPDATE: He sent me a “hey how are you” text about 3 months later, I chose to ignore him completely! I’m sick of giving men second chances.



As I get older the birthdays become more classy & less about going out & getting smashed at the hottest nightclub we can find. Well that’s probably what should happen!

I have five really close girlfriends, one of them decided to get a scoopon for a lunch for four in the Barossa at a winery & I thought this was a great idea, it was classy & something different. She also had a night off from the kids so she booked a hotel down at Glenelg. I was actually coming down with something & had had a day off work before, but I wasn’t going to bail on my birthday lunch. I got a little tipsy with the bottle of wine at lunch & the wine tasting after. We have the most hilarious time using a selfie stick & making some really great memories.

One friend had to go home to her husband but the other two from lunch came to the hotel room, not before stopping for more drinks! We order room service for dinner & have a few drinks listening to music & just generally chatting about shit. We get ready for a night out, thinking we’ll go to a bar close by & have a few more drinks (like I need them!). That’s where my other friend joins us & we’re back to a group of four.

We decide to leave this club & go across the way to another, where we find a booth, order some drinks & go have a boogie on the dance floor. Two of my friends don’t want to dance so they stay with our stuff & drinks. When we come back, there are three very young boys sitting with them chatting. I go back out onto the dance floor, this time only leaving one friend at the booth. The place then shuts, the ugly lights come on & we find our friend plus our new friends & walk outside.

It’s a bit cold, being it’s August but for some reason, even though we have a hotel room like 100 metres away, we stand outside talking to these young boys. But my voice has been reduced to a whisper! I can barely be heard over all the commotion of boys jumping all over each other. I end up kissing one of them, talking to him & his friends a lot too, some how another guys joins in talking to us & I kiss him too… I’m not 100% sure how that happened, but my friend kindly took a photo so there is evidence!

We all get too cold so we go back to the hotel room, bringin back with us four boys. My friend was kissing one of the older ones but he wasn’t with the three that I was talking too. Back at the hotel we have a few more drinks (Like WTF? as if I needed anything, my voice is a whisper & I am already really drunk!) Drunk enough that I end up pulling the first guy I kissed, who was also wasted, into the bedroom.


Now in my experience with drunk guys it can go either of two ways

  1. They can’t keep it hard or
  2. They are hard but can’t climax

Of course if they can’t keep it hard it’s just a disappointment & even though it’s really about them, not you, I’m sure there are other women out there who think the same as me & believe that it has something to do with them. ‘He’s not attracted to me’ or ‘I’m not sexy enough’ are just a few thoughts I’ve had, however, it’s really usually about them.

This guy, was like Vesty ! The best kind of drunk man to have sex with because it lasts so much longer, which means that there is much more chance of you being able to climax & if you’re lucky enough more than once! So I can tick that off my list, having sex with a 21 year old when you’re in your mid 30’s! At least I got a pretty decent birthday root!