MIA Undies

Many years ago in my 20’s, even way before Boyfriend, I used to go out drinking every weekend with friends & I think this particular incident happened at one of my birthday outings, or at least is was someone’s birthday. This was also the night that I lost my brand new phone, it was a Nokia 5110! (Fuck I’m old!). I was always the most drunk out of everyone, not something to proud of but it’s what I used to do. Not that much has changed but I am a lot less ridiculous!

Drunk on the dance floor used to be the place I would pick up most, bumping & grinding with the dude that wrapped his arms around your waist, some of the time it would end there, but this night, at a nightclub by the beach he asked me to go for a walk. We left the club & went to the beach. I don’t really remember it that well but from what I remember, we didn’t really go to a less populated area before we sat & then ended up having sex on the beach. Once we were done, I kinda of remember thinking ‘What the fuck (WTF wasn’t invented then!) am I doing?’ I jumped up still fully clothed but missing my undies, I look around for them, I can’t find them. I ask him where they are, he can’t find them either.

I go back to the club & find my friends, I think leaving sex boy because I don’t remember ever talking to him again. But I enlist a guy friend that we’re with to come outside & help me find my undies. This is also before torches on your phone so we’re just looking, maybe not even in the right spot, for my missing undies. We can’t find them so I end up going home undie less, yet while we’re out there looking for them I make my guy friend who was helping me take off his shirt & give it to me because I’m cold. He’s got a singlet underneath so I apparently think it’s ok to take someone’s shirt, which I never gave back. It hung on the back of my door for years, till I think I gave it to Boyfriend.

So how would I rate sex on the beach, well sand is just dirt, cold, damp dirt that sticks to everything, gets in crevasses that it shouldn’t, chafes you in places that should only be treated nicely. I imagine that it would be like for him wearing a condom made out of sandpaper. Perhaps people have had better experiences than me but I’ve never tried it again, maybe one day I’ll venture outdoors again.

I’ll never know what happened to that brand new purple Bonds g string but I have a sneaking suspicion that the boy I had sex with took them, put them in his pocket when he took them off to keep them as a souvenir, where else could they have gone?

#IBD4U