I met this guy Pear online, he’s a little bit older than me & not entirely the type I like the look of, but I figured that my type isn’t going that well, so I should branch out. We chat for a bit & I tell him how I’ve been hanging at the beach a lot, he says he lives by the beach & he should bring me down a cheeky cider, we sort of arrange that we’ll catch up on Christmas eve on the beach, but we also don’t set anything in stone.
On the morning of Christmas eve he messages & asks what my plans are for the day, I say that I am in bed but am considering meeting this guy for a cheeky cider at the beach. (I’m trying to be cute here…) He says something like ‘oh have fun’ & that’s it, really? Does he think I’m talking about someone else? Get a sense of humor dude!
I delay writing back because I think he doesn’t get me & so I search for something else to do because I am so alone & thinking heavily about Noodle, so I think fuck it. I message back Pear & ask him when he’s free, he says he’s free now, so I say give me 30 minutes & I’ll be there. I rub sunscreen on (thinking I’ll get him to do my back, might be kinda fun – everyone says to be tactile on a date) & put on my bikini & shorts, then head out the door. I ask him if he wants a chair & my umbrella & he says yes.
I see him as I’m parking, he is sitting at the table with nothing but a small 6 pack cooler bag, obviously the ciders. I get out my bag, the 2 chairs & the umbrella & walk over to him, he pretends not to see me until I’m basically standing on top of him, he gets up we kiss hello & hug, then we introduce ourselves. Hahaha. I did say I wasn’t sure if we knew each others names. Apparently I’m now even so open to dating people I don’t even know their names. WTF.
We head down to the sand, he doesn’t offer to carry anything that I have, yes I’m carrying my bag, 2 chairs (1 for him) & an umbrella – he has a 6 pack esky. We walk to the sand & set up camp. He at least sets up the umbrella by digging it into the sand. We sit & chat fairly easily. He offers me an apple or pear cider, so I ask for apple, but then I realise he’s brought Somersby ciders which is fucking disgusting, but I bite my tongue & await the disgusting taste. After I ask for apple, he says ‘I only brought pear’ ok, dude, why did you offer me apple? He profusely apologises saying he can run home & get one, but I say don’t worry. At least the pear Somersby isn’t as sweet as the apple.
I ask what kind of music he listens too, he says Fresh FM which is what I listen to too, so I put a mix on spotify & we just sit there chatting. The conversation kinda dies off & I end up just sunbaking but get so hot, that I say I’m going in the water. He says he’ll join me & for the first time in my life with someone I took off my singlet & wore just my bikini top & shorts into the water. Eek! I’m getting more confident! We swim for a bit, or basically just float around. I didn’t have a hair tie & didn’t want to get my hair wet because its very curly & will look like a mop. But I get drenched after a few bigger waves get me.
We get out & lay on the beach, he gets himself another drink but doesn’t offer me one. Maybe the whole pear/apple debacle put him off asking me. I lay down in the sun & almost fall asleep since we’re not talking & he’s not trying so I can’t be bothered. I fake that I have to be at a friends at 7:00 pm so I ask what the time is. It’s just after 6:00 pm so I think that works well. I don’t know how else to leave. I start getting dressed & pack up my stuff, he at least carries his chair back to the car for me (I’m not sure why that bothers me, I mean I can carry it all, but that’s not the point! I want a gentleman.)
We hug & kiss on the cheek goodbye but I don’t say anything about catching up again, I’m not sure I am keen anyway. I thought about Noodle a lot (I can’t believe how much I am thinking about him – he did the unforgivable to me.) & I almost fell asleep o the beach, I mean, that can’t be a good sign.It’s a 6 minute drive from the beach to my house, & I walk in the door to a message from him saying that he’s sorry he didn’t bring apple cider & that if there’s a next time he’ll bring apple & not to hate him. I don’t reply. I get a merry Christmas on Christmas day too, I don’t reply. I get another message the next day, I don’t know what to say. I always hated men playing the “chemistry” card with me, but since I have experienced that crazy crackling chemistry with someone, I don’t want anything less. I have been single so long because I won’t settle & now I have another element I won’t settle for. I want passion, fireworks & ‘can’t keep your hands off each other’ love.
I mean, I also didn’t ask him to put cream on my back, does that mean I would prefer to get sunburn than have Pear’s hands on me?
He messages me every day but I ignore for a while, until I’m at the beach with a friend & I tell him to come on down – mainly because I think she will be more suited to him, I tell her this & she tells me to invite him along. It takes him like 5 hours to reply but he responds saying he can’t see my umbrella. I’m like dude, we’re home already! He asks if I’m trying to palm him off to my friend, but gives me his phone number, so I have to be honest, I tell him that I didn’t feel the chemistry, he deletes me…
Another one bites the dust!