Mixed Bag #3 – Satin Sheets, Spinning Around & Brothers

Here is the third mixed bag. Hope you like these short stories!

After a discussion with my hairdresser who said to me the standard line I get from lots of people all the time on relationships “You’re too fussy”, I told her a few stories that I’ve posted on my blog, so then I asked her which one I should choose… She backtracked saying “Ok, maybe you’re not fussy.” Hahaha…

Here are some fine examples…

Satin Sheets

Young & hot at a nightclub dancing, singing, from having a great time with my friends, when my friend says she going home with some dude, I obviously have to go with her so but we went back to my friend’s guys house & there was a guy who lived with him, who came back with us too. When my friend goes off with her man in his bedroom, I’m stuck with the other man. I’m not really sure what to do. Not really sure what’s going to happen or if I should do anything or if I will, I am so drunk that if he makes a move, I probably would end up fucking him! Way to go…

He’s not really my type. He’s a bit older. I don’t really remember this night very well to be really honest with you. I think I remember that he had very thin blonde hair, because I remember trying to grab it but it feeling a bit greasy too. It’s probably the first night that I ever was given head, or maybe it’s just my first memory of it?

One thing I do remember very well is his black satin sheets. I’ll never forget that! Now I hadn’t fucked a lot of guys at this point in my life, maybe 2 or 3 & he was the first one to have fancy sheets, that I wondered if this was the norm. While it was a little bit sexy. It was also a little bit creepy. I mean who has black satin sheets, it was probably about 1999 – would this have even been a thing? Who has black sheets anyway? Yeah, this guy!

He goes down on me & I can remember it being a little bit awkward, with me not really knowing how its supposed to feel or what’s supposed to happen. I obviously don’t remember a lot, I know we had sex & I go home with my friend shortly after we’re done… What a fucking weird night!

Spinning Around

Many moons ago, I used to go out every weekend. I was probably about 18 years old, we’d go to one club on a Thursday night. I finish work at 9:00 pm. Go straight home, get ready & be down there, drunk by 10:00 pm. On Friday nights went to the other club next door & then on Saturday nights the club next door to that. It was like a little club precinct.

So this time in my life, I am pretty much just constantly drunk, I could be drunk at like 9:00 pm sometimes, but I never even making it into the night club, because I got so drunk before! Classy

I even got to the club once but with too many pre drinks, I wasn’t allowed in & was unable to walk! I was one of those messy drunks, constantly vomiting or acting like a complete annoying idiot. But I never cause a fuss too much, expect for those trying to take me home, I’d call them names or something, but I never fought them. Most of the time I realised I was too drunk to function.

I then met this guy one Saturday night & we’re dancing on the dance floor. Because I am drunk, I am all sexy (or trying to be) so bumping & grinding, with this dude. We’re dancing & singing the song by Kylie Minogue ‘Spinning Around’ – here’s the link to it

& so I’m drunk & I’m start spinning around as she sings ‘I’m spinning around, move out of my way,’ so I’m dancing like no one’s watching. I’m just like totally into this guy, just dancing singing being a complete idiot when there’s a part in the the song that goes ‘do you like what you see’ & he says ‘Hell yeah.’ with a huge grin on his face.

I’m totally in with this guy, so I’m dancing even more bumping & grinding hard. We’re dancing close, when I feel him unzip my dress. WTF. I’m wearing this cute little black dress. I still have it in fact & it never goes out to fashion as a little black dress. It has spaghetti straps, straight across the bust, long zip at the back. Just a really cute dress from the Miss Shop when it was around at Myer.

Anyway this dude has unzipped it on the dance floor! Why would you unzip my dress? He kind of just says that he doesn’t really know why & didn’t really have an answer. I literally walk away from him immediately thinking what the actual fuck just happened. But yes, it happened to me. Why would somebody unzip my dress on the goddamn dance floor? What is wrong with people?

Drunk Fairytale Lost shoe.png


When I was about 15, I got my first job & met some new people. I became friends with a chick who’s brother I had a massive crush on. I have no idea why, I don’t know blonde hair, blue eyes – was 100% my thing. He worked with me & was always funny, always really sweet to me, maybe because I was his kid sisters friend.

I used to go out every Saturday night to a local club with all my friends, this friend didn’t come out as often & it was really rare that her brother came to this club. But one night, he was there – drunker than I’d ever seen him, in fact I don’t remember ever seeing him drunk at all!

He & I were really drunk & somehow ended up on the dancefloor together. We’re dancing bumping & grinding as I did in those days, when we kiss, not sure who made the first move, but we were so close together it was inevitable. I feel like all my dreams have come true that this guy is kissing me, this guy is dancing with me & I think my fairytale will begin! Yet somehow we end up going home separately.

Little bit awkward, you know it’s kind of the unspoken kiss with your friends brother that you work with, who you can’t actually be with because of some reason. I don’t know what & I’m obviously just assuming here because I never asked, but he just wasn’t into me.

So then, years later at my friend’s house for her birthday party. He’s there, her brother I kissed. He’s being DJ for the night. I ask him constantly to put on Intergalactic by The Beastie Boys (here’s the link to that song!

He kept saying to me that he’s already put it on twice. Nobody wants to hear it as much as I do, obviously so I try to find something else to talk to him about.

I don’t know whether I wanted the song because I thought it would make me look cool or what, but it wasn’t a song I had bought on CD or as a CD single, I just had heard it, knew a few words & wanted it on. I was that annoying drunk pestering people. Jeez I really am glad I don’t drink like that anymore. The party kind of clears out & my friends other brother walks in who’s older than the first brother. We were talking & chatting, I’m friends with them too, I guess in a way, especially the one I kissed because we work together. But somehow this other brother & I end up on the couch kissing. I’m sitting on his lap, straddling him, kissing him! Nobody else is in the room. I don’t really understand how this is happening, but how drunk am I that I kissed her other brother anyway?

I don’t see either of her brothers much after that to be honest, it’s even more awkward when I do see the one I liked, but I just play it cool, what else can I do? At this point, I’m still really good friends with the girl, but yeah, I’m trying to avoid both her brother’s now. I mean, I even used to pick up this chick every week from her house for work & drop her home, because her brother would come out & chat to me sometimes if he was coming or going. I always thought it was because he liked me, like he knew what time I picked her up & dropped her off & he was often outside loitering, then would come up to my car window to chat to me. But clearly after the kiss. It’s not true.

Anyway all of them are married now, all with kids, The one I liked lives overseas, the other brother I think lives interstate & they’ve all got kids, yet here I sit, still here writing this blog…

What do you think of these guys?


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