Month: Sep 2025

August 2024

It’s my birthday week & it’s unusual for Marvel to message me every day of the week, but he has this week, I have been vague about when I am free this week because I am temping & if I don’t go to work, I don’t get any money, so it’s hard to to give up time for an interview & a time for sex. I do mention that it’s my birthday & I want a birthday fuck but he doesn’t ask what day or when.

When he suggests Thursday – I truly believe that he knows it’s my birthday but pretends he doesn’t know it’s my birthday – snapchat has a birthday reminder & it also puts a birthday hat on your bitmoji on the day… So, when on the day he says ‘you just wanted a birthday fuck’ which I reply that he was the one who suggested Thursday. Maybe he didn’t know & it’s just the little birthday cake next to my name on snapchat that he noticed this morning, but I like to think that he did know it was my birthday. I need to squash that type of thought because not only are we just fuck buddies & what fuck buddy knows their fuck buddies birthday, but he’s told me before that he’s terrible with dates so maybe he doesn’t but who cares I am about to get a birthday fuck, so I am not bothered if he knows or not – I would have told him when he got there that it was my birthday…. Plus, he did say happy birthday – sort of?!

I have a job interview in the morning in the city, so I meet him afterwards at my house – I do a lot of driving this day just because I am so desperate for sex & miss a day at my temp job to fit in fucking him, so this better be good! I mean let’s face it, when has it ever been bad? I wouldn’t be in this mess, 7 years later if it was ever bad.

He seems to take a while to get to my house once I say I am home, having messaged when I was leaving the city, so figured he would time it to be there when I get home, not wanting to waste any time & knowing that I have to go to another interview like an hour away from my house. I believe that doesn’t have notifications turned on this snapchat account, so he doesn’t know I’ve messaged & said I am on my way home from the city. He doesn’t look at it. This is not unusual, I don’t know why I even worry about it sometimes, this guy has always played it on his terms, for 7 fucking years I have never held the cards ever, so why am I surprised when he doesn’t look at my messages?

Even though we fucked for a significant amount of time & he hung out for a little bit afterwards, my only real recollection of this session is one of the most intense orgasm of my life… Yes you read that right – is this even possible at this point in this relationship with Marvel? How can things get better & more intense? I have no idea how but we started by kissing, I got on top & then I always slide down to suck his cock, when I realise it’s my birthday so I ask why am I sucking his dick, so I spin around & stick my cunt in his face, then lean back down to suck his dick. The ol 69 trick.

Now readers who are picturing me, may want to skip to the next paragraph, this position always feels good, but can be a bit of effort to both get the right spot, but he is getting the exact right spot on my clit – sometimes he can go a bit hard, it’s still good but when it’s softer like this, it is off the charts good… As he sucks & the way my legs are spread over his head, I am really open over his face that his mouth is on my clit but when he breathes out his breath, it’s right over my asshole… I am able to gyrate my hips with the motion of his tongue & mouth, getting into the same rhythm doesn’t always happen quite in sync, but this is just in the same motion, the right pressure, the breath on my ass that I am barely able to keep my mouth on his cock, I am moaning so hard telling him not to stop, which has basically now just turned into me sitting on his face backwards, there is no 69 because I cannot suck his dick. I cannot concentrate; my nipples are even rubbing on his hairy stomach which are increasing the sensation. He is relentless, reading my body like a book, like he always does but somehow more in tune today that usual, our rhythm is just right… me rocking back & forth on his face, his sucking the right spot on my clit, his breath caressing my asshole… Then it hits me like a ton of bricks, I cum so fucking hard & quickly & I keep cumming as he sucks on my clit a little harder.

I collapse to the side, barely able to turn back around, but I do & he isn’t done so he fucks me again which of course I cum, but I don’t think I will ever cum that hard again. Did turning 43 just intensify the orgasms? Or was it the birthday sex? Or was it that we just got the position right without even trying today? I can’t obviously remember every orgasm with Marvel – that would be impossible at this point, unless I wrote about every session straight after it happened, but fuck this one – maybe because it’s more recent, but honestly, most orgasms I’ve had to work for, like concentrate, get myself in the right position, really get out of my own head about how I look etc & then it builds up – are most women like that? Well, this one, I was just enjoying the moves, I wasn’t building, but it was feeling so good, then bam, I was cumming. Out of nowhere without even thinking about it. How the fuck does that even happen?

Ironically though Marvel talks to me a little afterwards, I initiate the conversation which isn’t usual, he will usually message me first after sex but I did because I still had jelly legs from that orgasm. He only sends 2 messages to me before he goes offline for almost 2 weeks. I think the things that hurt are the fact that I have literally had such an intense moment, with someone I stupidly am realising that I am still in love with, but he doesn’t want to talk to me. Maybe this is the way that he protects himself, maybe he didn’t realise how intense it was, I mean I didn’t shut up about it, so I’m sure he did know exactly how intense it was… Maybe I’m the idiot in love & he’s just here for sex…

We do finally talk about it through & says that because my ass was in his face & I’ve said that his breath was hitting my asshole, that he was considering licking it because it was so in his face. We’ve not rimmed each other at all, even after all the time, I know it’s not a first for him, but it would be a first for us together. He says that even though I stopped sucking his cock it was my birthday so he had to keep going & I remind him of how weak my legs were.

We have a discussion about how I want to fuck in the shower, logistically being I am munchkin & him being a giant, we are probably not going to be able to do it without some sort of slippery injury but I joke about him lifting me & he says that he’d give it a crack. It’s annoying cos at that time, I am pretty small – shortly after this, I put on about 13 kgs & feel awful about myself. I remind that if he just makes me feel a little bit good about myself, that I will be more confident & do anything that he wants me to do. Even then I tell him that it wouldn’t kill him to be nice to me, say something nice, but he doesn’t & hardly ever boosts my ego, unlike me who is boosting his ego every time we chat…!

#IBD4U

July 2024

While I am looking for work, it’s almost been a month of unemployment – again & I am sending out so many resumes & not even getting any calls at all. I am at an all-time low, I know I’ve said this before but this is just fucked. I have basically been looking for a job for a whole year due to the circumstances! Marvel asks how it’s all going & I say that it’s fucked & remind him that he thought he was the loser when he got made redundant. At least his was a genuine redundancy, my unemployment has been because my last two employers didn’t pass my probation for whatever fucked reason & I genuinely have no idea why, I can only speculate. But I am seemingly shit at work so I’m fired time & time again, I have no boyfriend & no prospects… I have no family (kids), I don’t have a lot of friends anymore. I am genuinely a loser. This is really an all time low in my life.

We talk about fucking in the car, which he says that he’s “dying” to do again, in public & in a confined space is hot. I agree & tell him he could come to my work, I am doing some temp work which I am earning half what I usually earn as a receptionist – I have no idea where we would even go but the idea is amazing & sexy. As a receptionist I am bored out of my mind & all the temp jobs I work at during this time, want to keep me (probably because they know I am worth double what they are paying & they are getting someone motivated to want to work.)

I have also been watching a bit of porn lately, I guess boredom of the unemployment, will do that to you. I’ve been looking at dry humping videos which really surprise Marvel but when I show him what I’ve been looking at, we have the longest conversation that we’ve had in a long time, albiet it’s all about sex & me waking him up riding his cock, but it goes on for a few days. What’s interesting about that, is I know sex sells, I’ve used it as a tool to get men to like me/want to be with me ever since I started having sex, Marvel is no different, the only way to keep his attention is through sex. No one wants the boring stuff.

Marvel says if he was asleep next to me & I woke him up by riding his cock, he’d pretend to be asleep for as long as possible to savour the moment. But he says that he wouldn’t be asleep for long. We talk about our most fucked up fantasies, I think mine is still the intruder fantasy, which he says isn’t weird but I think that’s just because we both have that fantasy. He tells me about a kidnapping fantasy which he’s never told me about before. He doesn’t have a van but would like to kidnap me then fuck me in the van with my mouth duct taped & hands cable tied. I think that is so hot, a little fucked up but remember it is consensual… & it’s just a fantasy not something either us would do in real life without consent.

Because it’s school holidays we don’t see each other but I am surprised at how regularly he is coming online, mainly I think to finish this conversation of sexy talk being that the night before I’d cum while chatting to him & showed him a picture of my sticky cum on my fingers. It’s weird when he talks consistently, he hasn’t done this in so long that it’s disconcerting. But I stupidly love it & want him to keep coming back online, so I keep the sex talk going, not bringing the conversation down with my unemployed loser life. But sex is the inky thing that keeps him coming back. He’s treating me like he does give a fuck about me, not just as a fuck buddy as someone you don’t need to bother treating with respect. But how tragic that I can’t show my true feelings to keep him interested, who am I kidding, he doesn’t respect or care about me. Yet, these type of multi day in a row conversations remind me of the good old times of the affair number one when he not only put in effort but he made me feel like I mattered to him.

When he rocks up at my house, we’ve had almost 2 weeks of consistent sexy chats that I am feeling sexy & wanted, I put on lingerie & my long knee high boots. I tell him that he knows where to find me. I am in my room waiting for him when he arrives. Because we’ve talked about it a lot, I make him sit in the chair & watch me use my vibe before I allow him to fuck me. We kiss passionately & I suck his dick while my vibe is still on me, making me grind against it. It’s hot & sexy.

Post coital, I tell him about Referee & how he’s offered me $2500 to fuck him. Marvel is surprisingly on board with me doing it, he even encourages it knowing I need the money & says that he would do it.  Marvel even suggests that I could maybe set it up to be the 3sum I’ve always wanted & get paid for it? Maybe Referee would enjoy watching me be fucked by Marvel. If it was easier to set things up with Marvel, I would have 100% done it with him, but we’ve not been able to set it up this whole time, so I don’t think it’s ever going to happen. Now that I have Marvel’s blessing, could I do it? I really don’t want too & if you’ve read the Referee story you know I don’t end up doing it.

Of course, though after the days & days of talking leading up to us fucking. I get 3 messages from Marvel before he logs off & waits for 5 fucking days to talk to me again. I shouldn’t be surprised at this, he gives me a little, gives me what he wants when he wants, then gets what he wants when he wants, then pulls back. He’s done it for years & this is why I just have to shut those feelings down… I am just here for the ride. I get no say as usual but that’s my fault, not his.

#IBD4U

June 2024

He gets glasses which he says make him look geeky, I think this is going to be another round of how cool I am & how uncool he is, like he did when we were together the first time, so I am apprehensive but I ask for a picture & he actually sends one to me, which is not his usual style so it surprises me, I barely ever get pics from him these days & if I do, it’s usually his cock but even that is very few & far between. He does look a little geeky, but cute geeky. His geek side is not something that bothers me about him, but something his wife teased him about, so he has a major complex about it. I tell him he doesn’t look geeky, but he looks older than me – an ongoing joke we have being that I am 2.5 years older than him. He of course retaliates saying that my skin is looking old, but he has some grey hairs. I tell him that I can’t be looking that bad because his cock is always hard around me.

So, it’s been a fucked few weeks – the incident with Trainer happens & I am fired from my job at 7:30am via a phone call while driving a work car to the office. I let Marvel know that I am off this week & next week, hoping there will be something good to come out of me being fired that I tell him I am close to coming to his work & fucking him in the car.

I am in a bad mood being I just got fired, again for the third time in my life & he’s been leaving me on read so much lately – well it’s not lately, he’s done this a lot over the years, it’s always pissed me off but I’m at work usually so I don’t either know or notice when he does it but of course I am bored & waiting for him to write back to me. Finally, he sets up a lunchtime fuck, but he messages just after 8:00am to ask if he can come after school drop off instead. I have slept in but wake up just before 9:00am so I message & say that I’ll just stay in bed, which I do but when he arrives the dogs break out of the kitchen & so I have to get up a rescue him, I put on a dressing gown & quickly get the dogs locked back in the kitchen – knowing he has a thing about my dog breed, a dog breed that’s not particularly known for being vicious but he mentions multiple times that he’s met some mean ones in his time. Literally most people tell me when they meet my dogs that they have never met my dog breed in real life. But for him, he’s met several & they’ve been vicious?! Sure whatever dude… Well, I guess there’s a strike against me for at least the next 10 years if he’s ever single…

Today he starfishes the whole session, he lays there while I do everything, he doesn’t get on top, he doesn’t go down on me, I ride him & I suck his cock, he cums inside me from underneath me – a big load. Its not like him at all to cum on the bottom but also not like him to not go down on me. But he later tells me that it’s hot me doing all the work for a change. I know that I do some of the work every time we fuck but he then usually gets on top & fucks me to finish. He will also usually go down on me or finger me at least. But it’s just me on top, fucking him, cumming & making him cum below. Its definitely hot, it’s certainly not as predictable. It was hot & steamy. & I feel like that spontaneity spark has come back.

#IBD4U

May 2024

There is literally no chat with him on this day but he is supposed to be coming over – his usual MO, he doesn’t speak to me much or at all on the morning if he has already planned to come over. He has organised the fuck session & then doesn’t chat in the morning to confirm or make sure I am still free. Imagine if I needed to bail, he wouldn’t fucking know… He could literally talk to me all day everyday while she’s at work but you can put money on it that on the day that’s he going to see me, he will not message hello or good morning. I am too stubborn to message him first, obviously, he is always up before me, so he should message me first but then I get a simple message “On my way now” & I send back “see you soon…” which I shouldn’t even bother as he doesn’t read my replies, he just rocks up so we literally could not say much less than that right?

We have sex, I suggest watching in the mirror, but I get self-conscious because of my hips – they have gotten so big since I had stomach surgery & now any time I put on weight, it doesn’t go to my stomach, it goes to my hips, legs & arms. I am self conscious, I struggle to cum, but of course I do because let’s face it, if I am riding him, then I am going to cum, no matter how much I try to stop it & I don’t think he could stop it if he tried…

There is something about our catch up today, I haven’t slept with anyone else or really dated anyone else in the last almost 18 months now so perhaps that why, it can’t be the witty conversation over text because that is non-existent at this point with him, we text only really about sex, we have sex & then we actually speak in person. But even our in person conversation isn’t that deep. We chat about my work, his work & nothing much else, I let my guard down sometimes over sharing, but I definitely never talk about how I feel about him or anything that would make this more that fuck buddies.

I don’t always have the best memory, so I wish that I wrote more notes & I wish I remember our post coital chats better, because today as he is laying there talking about fuck knows what, I am enamoured by whatever he is saying & I feel a tingle. This tingle isn’t in my clit, that’s satisfied (for now), this tingle is in my heart… FUCK. What the fuck is that about? What does that even mean? I can’t rekindle the feelings I had for this man, he will just shut me down, I am almost certain of that, remembering him spouting to me multiple times at the start of affair number 3 ‘don’t get too close to me’ so I am not sure what I am feeling, his wall is way up, he can log off for weeks without even a thought of me, mine is crumbling brick by brick with every word he’s saying & I don’t even remember what he fucking said, but I can’t get close to him again.

Let me be clear, I haven’t ever stopped loving this man per se, the variance of this love is usually based on the way he’s treating me, how much he’s online, what he’s saying, but I always love him & I always think of him as my best friend, even with this skerrick of a friendship he gives me. If you asked me, I would say I don’t have feelings for him, that I don’t love him. True I am not “in love” in the sense of the word but this man was my first love & I’m still fucking him like 7 years later, so of course there is love there… So I wish that I knew what he said this day to flick that switch. To make me walk away thinking that I am “in love” with him. Not as deeply as I was, but I can’t deny it anymore (pretty much since the Papa Roach concert I guess), that I love him & I am actively in love with him.

… Fuckity, fuck… I’m fucked.

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Later that month, unprecedented by his standard but not of late I guess, Marvel is catching up with me again. Maybe he felt it too? Or am I just cooked? I don’t know what but we barely ever catch up twice in a month. Maybe he felt it? Don’t be stupid #IBD4U, you didn’t feel anything. I need to be emotionless, he did say ‘Don’t get close to me‘ so many times that it is imbedded in my brain. I can literally still hear it in my head… He keeps me at a distance because he is married & shouldn’t be seeing me, he doesn’t want to get caught, he doesn’t want to lose his family, doesn’t matter about me or my feelings. It’s about him, not about me. He doesn’t care how much this hurts me, he doesn’t care that I lost my best friend & the only way I can get a snippt of his time, is to do it on his terms & turn off any feelings I had or am having. I need to shut that shit down right now.

He comes over & within about 5 minutes I have cum three times, I then suck his dick because I can’t seem to keep cumming today. I suck it until he cums in my mouth, I lick it all up like a good girl that he likes, but then he gets dizzy & has a weird headache. He lays on the bed, I am careful not to touch him but offer him a drink & Panadol.

Our post coital chat today is mainly about his facebook page because he is now making a fair bit of money from it. He has been so sporadic posting with it, but now they are paying him for posts, he has taken a huge interest in it & posting really regularly. We chat about it a lot, when he gets passionate about a subject, you can’t shut him up about it. It’s quite cute & endearing. Fuck, I can’t find him cute… He isn’t cute, he isn’t anything. He’s just a fuck buddy I see for a monthly service & that’s it.

Remember, don’t get too close to him!

#IBD4U

April 2024

Interestingly, the only social media that Marvel is not blocked on is TikTok. I don’t know why I haven’t blocked him on there, but because his number is in my phone, he comes up on everything & I usually block him. But for some reason I don’t block him on TikTok. I don’t post a lot ever & if I do, it’s about my dogs. The night before we have planned to see each other, I get a notification that he has looked at my profile. This is the first time & it isn’t the last but it’s not often that he does look at it, but he does. But what the fuck is he doing? Why is he looking at it? Can she see it? Is it her? Oddly though, I don’t block him. I do however, ask him a while later if she has TikTok & stalking me on there, because she was obsessed with checking out my Facebook, so assuming she’d find me wherever else she could. He says that she watches reels on Facebook but not TikTok. I can’t find her under her name to block her. He is now blocked on there & LinkedIn since he told me he uses that too…

When he arranges to come over after his work, so around lunchtime for him as he works part time. I take my lunch break. Today he kisses me, really kisses me. His kisses are usually rougher & he’ll bite my tongue, which I like (kinda) but don’t love, today he kisses me, kisses me passionately. It’s different to his usual kissing. He kisses me deep & I even mention the next day that he kissed me different. He says that he didn’t kiss me differently. He also kisses all over, my tummy, my inner thigh, around my cunt, before he goes down on me, teasing me & making me beg him to let me cum… & I fucking begged. He never usually does the trail of kisses over my body, like hardly ever…

Look, I like to be teased to cum, or for him to stop kissing everywhere but my sweet spot. But I don’t like being so turned on I am begging him to touch me – well, maybe I do. It’s a love hate relationship. I fucking hate being teased, but fuck I love it!! But jeez I hate that he gets me to a point where I am begging for him. In the moment, I don’t even realise that I am begging, or so desperate from him to make me cum, it just comes out my mouth. I’ve never really talked during sex before & so with Marvel, when I beg him to let me cum or tell him I am cumming, it’s so involuntary. I don’t even realise I am doing it. I don’t think he minds at all!  He chuckles like a fucking prick when I am whining & begging for him to make me cum.

He isn’t at my house long this day so there isn’t a lot to write about because we also don’t see each other much in April & of course we chat for only a few messages each week – if that. The chat is mostly about him edging me when we saw each other.

One of the  most annoying things with Marvel is when he says to me “Are you able to work from home tommorow morning” & I reply, almost straight away – knowing that he might not be online for long so if I don’t write back quickly, I might miss the opportunity for him to see it. In this case I had to say no but of course I offer up another option, but he doesn’t read it for 2 days! How does he even know what I wrote?! What if I planned to stay home & organised it – because I have to tell my staff etc what I am doing, so I can’t just do it on a whim. Imagine if I planned to stay home & he didn’t rock up…

Fuck, no wonder why I get so angry & hate him so much. But of course, then my vagina calls his name, he comes back online & I crumble like a piece of paper. This is not the first time he’s done this & it isn’t the last either. Always on his terms, always when he dictates.

#IBD4U

March 2024

To set up a catch up in March, we literally send 6 messages since we last saw each other & then on the day we planned, we send only 2 messages. In total. Could he fucking say any less to me at this point?! Does he even care about me?! Do I even want to keep doing this? I tried to make it just sex, now that’s what he’s giving me? I do feel more when I am with him, like I feel like he cares for me, but fuck this guy gives me absolutely nothing outside of when he sees me, that I don’t know what keeps me coming back or him for that matter!

After the 8 messages each that we have sent in March, it is another fortnight before he speaks again, not chatting to me after we fuck at all. I wish I looked back then for the green dot on snapchat that says you’ve been online in the last 24 hours – because spoiler alert – he tells me later that he had been online – he was on snapchat fairly regularly but didn’t talk to me, just looking at my icon of a sent message & not reading it or replying – more about that later… Fucking wanker jerk.

So this day it was apparently was good sex because I supposedly said to him that I was more horny than usual & he says that he enjoyed it but who knows why I was more horny, maybe its because where I was in my cycle, I have no idea but I do remember I was but because we didn’t really talk about the ins & outs of what we did afterwards via chat, I am not entirely sure what happened or what we did. But it was fucking hot, that’s for sure…

My notes & our convo say that I came home from work & we fuck in every position, I remember being so turned on this day & like I couldn’t get enough of him inside me. I couldn’t get enough orgasms. I let him fuck me however he wants & even let him fuck my ass, wanting him every way I can have him. I remember that this was also a time where when I was riding him, I would start off leaning down, kissing him, rocking back & forth really slowly, until I can feel my orgasm building, that I would pick up speed a little & within a few minutes, I cum hard & loud on his cock, feeling my cunt pulsing as I finish on top of him, collapsing into his chest.

This is something new I have been doing, fucking him slowly. We are usually really hard & fast, while there is feeling between us, there is something more intimate & different abut fucking slowly, using his cock how I want too, being in control, but not in a dominate way, just in a way to reach my orgasm how I want too, him underneath me loving the feeling of me slowly going deeper with each thrust.

---

It’s the same month & Marvel is chatting more & asking if I want to catch up again. Very unprecedented, we only see each other once a month usually. He comes over after school drop off & after my stupid weekly meeting & we have sex. Around this time, I wasn’t even thinking about this blog, or even just using this medium as a journal. I wasn’t writing. I kind of regret not writing like a journal because it is good to look back on but with everything that happens in 2024 with job.

I think things will never be as they were with Marvel. Does he deserve my time? Does he deserve any more air time in my blog? Probably not. But now (as I write in early 2025) I wish I had written about things we did back then or wrote better notes, or even just had better conversations with him. Looking back on my blog & our relationship, like I did a few years ago when I turned it into ebooks, it was good to look back on what happened, the nitty gritty – the good, the bad, the ugly, the hurt, the pain, the love & hate. But honestly, it reminds me why I put up with this shit from him, this less than sporadic messaging, the once a month catch up for sex only & always being available when he texts because I get notifications.

Again I don’t have a lot written about what happened in March 2024, however because we are predictable, I can almost guarantee that we went straight into my room, fooled around a little bit, then we fuck with him on top, before I say I want to be on top. I’ll slide down his body, kissing as I go before I suck his dick. When I am done with his cock in my mouth, I’ll ride him, of course I’ll cum multiple times, then he’ll get on top, flipping me over to fuck me from behind before he cums. We don’t even cum in interesting ways anymore, it’s always inside me. Never on my tits or tummy or mouth. Not that I am complaining, it’s always good but it’s not surprising or innovative. It’s passionate & comfortable. There is still the undeniable chemistry between us but time limitations have caused us to be repetitive.

#IBD4U

January/February 2024

Marvel hasn’t spoken to me since mid-December. He doesn’t usually talk to me while the kids are on school holidays, so I am used to this – he’s always been like this, even though I know he works part time & he totally could message me, he always makes sure that he doesn’t, being strong & keeping that distance, never letting his guard down. I never know when he is going to pop up again, I never know if he is going to pop up again, if I am really honest with myself. My brain regularly catastrophises that he is dead or that he moved interstate without telling me. Lets face it, if I don’t ever hear from him, I may never know why.

I don’t normally bother saying happy birthday to him – I did as Noodle & would have as Silverlining, but not as Marvel. He barely acts as if he likes me, he doesn’t deserve for me to make him feel special by messaging him. I haven’t in the last few years. He’s seen me on my last few birthdays to have sex, but fuck him, I am not going out of my way to say happy birthday, especially since I know that it will sit at unread for weeks while he’s off doing whatever he’s doing – being stronger than me, avoiding me. I hate looking at the unread message icon, knowing he’s not been online or thought about me at all. But to my surprise, he comes back online the day after his birthday, making a comment on a video that I sent him last year, I haven’t sent anything since then, cos I am being just as stubborn as him.

I am working a shitty temp job, which is hard to get away from because if I am not there, I don’t get paid. I need money right now so I can’t just be taking time off for sex. But the boss I have is so good, I’ve told her I have a couple of interviews so she knows that I am looking for work at a higher level of what I am doing & would let me take some time off. I also have been offered a job which starts later this month but they have jipped me $10k off the advertised salary – I genuinely believe that they have done that because they know me from my previous roles & they know I am unemployed. They are calling my bluff about being desperate for money, but I have accepted it but am seriously on the fence on if I should see how these other interviews go before.

I end up rolling the dice & decline that job that offered me $10k less & wait to hear from these other jobs interviews that I have been too. When Marvel comes back online, he’s behind what’s been going on so he thinks I have started the new job, but I tell him that I am still temping. But almost a week after asking, he looks at my reply telling him I didn’t start that job & am still temping for a little bit when he finally organises to see me. It’s early February & I have just started a new job, where I will be on the road & the boss – the unofficially titled head of SA, however they also tried to jip me $10k but it was initially $20k more than the one I turned down. So I negotiate $5k more – I should have asked for more once I found out that my staff were earning the same as me FFS.

I am all ready to stay home & see him this morning, go in late – I’ve told my staff that I have a meeting & will be in later etc, so because I start at 7:30 am, I have slept in a little being I don’t have a commute to worry about, when I get a message “Fuckkk i can’t do today, my body is having some technical difficulties, pretty sure my son will be home from school. And my wife is sick at work and could come home anytime. And I pretty sure what I have is contagious as it’s gone thru my whole family.” No sorry. No reschedule date. No care factor about me at all & what I put on the line… So get fucked. I don’t write back. What would I say anyway, ‘ok no worries, Marvel, let me know when you are free’ no, fuck him. I am not replying, especially when it won’t be read. So, I don’t. I am so angry that I change my life around to see him & I don’t even get a sorry or a reschedule date?

But because he has to be the one who’s the most stubborn, even though he was the one who fucking bailed, I have to be the one to fix things. It’s always on me to fix things… I wait 4 days before I message because he hasn’t bothered to come back online – well maybe he has, but he hasn’t fucking messaged me. I am booked for a trip to QLD for work, so I need to see him soon or it’ll be end of Feb before I see him again… I haven’t had sex all of 2024 & it’s mid Feb, so I finally message & say “So when are you planning on making it up to my vagina?” which he must be online or lurking, because he fucking replies quickly (here’s me thinking he never logs back on except when he messages… Apparently not!) & says that he’s only just gotten better & offers up a few different options.

I work from home one morning & he comes over right at the end of the weekly operations online meeting, which is a complete fucking waste of time – I hate meetings for the sake of meetings, which this one is & it’s weekly FFS. Anyway I let him know that my computer camera will be on & he will need to sneak in as it’s fucking going over time – another thing it never does. For the first time since I started, it usually goes for 20-30 minutes but today it’s almost 45 minutes & there is no end in sight.

He rocks up & I alert him that I am still in the meeting. Mainly so he doesn’t come over & get in the camera, so he sits on the couch & plays with his phone. It’s the only time I’ve ever felt awkward with him, because I have to speak in the meeting & sound all professional & like I know what I am talking about & I don’t want him to hear but I also do want him to hear that I am as smart as he thinks I am… I have no notes about that sex session because I didn’t write any & I we didn’t really talk about it afterwards, usually our conversation only exists of us talking in detail (but briefly – what a contradiction, hahaha.) what we did & I can look at the screenshots of the conversation & be reminded of what we did so I can write about it. But because of how little he talks to me these days, I don’t have a lot to write about. I know that the sex is always good, but we’ve fallen into a routine of fucking in the bedroom, me climbing on top, cumming, then sucking his dick then fucking from behind until he cums. It’s good. It’s amazing. But it’s predictable. With the limited time that we have, I guess that’s all we have time we have so we can’t do anything too elaborate anymore.

#IBD4U