While not much has happened in the last few months, beside my Facebook account being hacked & deleted, therefore losing access to my #IBD4U Facebook page as I had no backup or other admins on it, thinking this would never happen to me! Who wants my shitty Facebook account?! Anyway I can’t get it back despite multiple attempts to contact FB. So the only way to follow now is via the website on WordPress. So head on over to www.ivebeendatingforyou.com & please subscribe though there for the semi regular posts that I’ve been posting. This also includes the e-books, which make it easier to read the posts as they are released.
Now, on to a few stories, that aren’t worth their own post because they aren’t long, but follow on from Update & Update #2.
Neighbour: Well this is a new story, I haven’t ever written about this guy because to be honest he’s always been a bit creepy & quiet so I just wave to him & his wife whenever I’m out the front & they are too. Nothing exciting, right?
So this neighbour across the road who gave me his number in my letterbox to ask if I needed help moving my pergola that was delivered for my reno a while back. I messaged him & no, it’s up to the contractor to keep it safe but thanks for the offer… Since then he’s messaged to ask about a dog sitter for August – um ok (it was about January at this stage)!
One day, months later, we’ve have a few text exchanges but nothing worth writing about, I am out the front painting my driveway & I get a message from him, which I look at on my watch. He says that he’s sorry he didn’t wave to me when he was out the front too but he’s shy but asks if I’d like to go out for a coffee. He also says it’s creepy that he is messaging me when I am only 100 feet away from him… For fuck sake!! Yes it is creepy & I don’t want to go out for coffee with him. He was a wife/partner whatever, I am not getting involved with another married man again. Besides, I am not interested. Fuck off… Where are the single men?
Since then he messaged me “hey lady” urgh, I shudder… So gross… & talks about our horrible neighbours who I’m now fighting in court with the payment of the fences. Telling me they have a horrible dog staying there & someone in a caravan… Well I guess I do live in a shitty suburb in Adelaide. Can’t ask for much more than trash.
So he now follows me on tiktok, which is only posts of my dogs really, but he was looking at my profile almost everyday before he clicked follow. He usually likes every post too, so not sure how I feel about that, but oh well. He’s fairly harmless I guess…
Disabled Neighbour: I’m surprised I haven’t written about this guy to be honest. This guy lives a few houses away & right on the corner of the road that gets you out of my area, so there is no need, absolutely no need to drive past my house. But he does every single day, multiple times a day. So ages ago he put his business card in my letter box to mow my lawns. Then he’s popped by to ask to mow my lawns which I declined because I found another guy & thought it was weird that he only targeted me to mow my lawns, which aren’t even that bad, so was like he was trolling the neighbourhood for jobs. Mine was no worse than anyone else in the neighbourhood that he didn’t ask. When he was asking to mow my lawns he told me he’d had a car accident & had a brain injury – not sure if that was a ploy to get me to feel sorry for him but there is something off about this guy & I don’t want him mowing my lawns & in my backyard alone. He’s still driving and functioning so clearly it’s not that bad of a brain injury & he’s just giving off creepy vibe. He has a wife/partner & two little kids. I’m 100% not feeling good with this guy.
One day I pull in the driveway & am walking inside when he drives past. Nothing special about that except as I am getting the dogs fed and sorting out stuff, there is a knock at the door. Flustered I run to the door & it’s this guy asking if I need my lawns mowed, which I say no I don’t. He asks if I am single, which I stupidly say yes, just me & the dogs. He then tells me that I am “really beautiful” & asks me out for a coffee. I politely decline & he leaves easier than I expect him too. He now just waves when I drive past – because he is ALWAYS in his car or out the front of his house which is weird. So I haven’t had this guy come back thank god, but when I am out the front working on the weekends, he will drive past, do a u-turn & drive back past – which is fucking creepy!
Why do my neighbours haven’t to be so creepy, both asking my out for coffee, this is my forever home, I do not want to have to move because I am not safe here!
M8: This guy got a total of 6 posts M8 #2, M8 #3, M8 #4, M8 #5 & M8 #6. But when you think about it, nothing really happened with him, I mean we had mediocre sex twice and that was kinda it. I will openly admit that I thought this guy was different & I let my guard down very quickly with him, just enjoying spending time with him when he was doing work at my house. Because of the things he was saying to our mutual friend, that this guy was seriously interested in me & wanted to actually date me! How stupid I was… This is why I never let my guard down! But anyway since then, he’s still got me on snapchat & every now & then we message, he has asked multiple times if I would sleep with him again, which I just am flirty with him but it never happens, I don’t really want it because I did actually have an attraction to this guy. He posts snaps of the desert so I assume he’s working away again, so I never try to catch up with him.
So after the second time we slept together, I don’t see him again, which I am ok with, I don’t know that it’s wise with this one anyway, I did like him & he played me – more than I’ve been played before. Shortly after, maybe a few months after we saw each other, I find out though our mutual friend that his 18 year old (she’s probably 20 or 21 by now) baby mumma is pregnant again with his fifth kid, second one with her. I don’t engage much with him, but I do chat with him on snapchat sporadically. He comments on my posts & sometimes sends me a picture of a animal that’s become my icon, I guess. It might be a licence plate with the words or a real one or even just something he saw – which is what I love about having an icon because anyone who knows what it is, can’t look at one & not think of me!
Anyway I don’t engage in the catch up talk, I always say that it’s open or something like that, which I am almost certain, is what he wants, just to know that I am an option for him if he wants it. I’m not sure but I guess its obvious because every time he’s home, I never get massages from him. It’s all good, I don’t think I would bother catching up with him anyway!
I usually write as things happen & post in retrospectively, because nothing is happening, my life is pretty boring, here is a recent story. My life consists of work, sleep, eat, repeat. There is no real dating or talking to new men – old ones keep popping up, but there’s no new juicy stories, nothing exciting has been happening. So the other Saturday night, 9 March, I am in bed with the dogs when I get a text message at 10:15pm saying “Hey hey how you doing whats going on tonight??” I think about what I should reply, I don’t have the number saved in my phone. I am in a sassy mood, so not about to stuff around with a reply that tells them that I am good and apologises for not having their number in my phone etc, so I just say “Who is this?” They reply “Ahhh Creep lol” Righto, so he actually says his name, which is slightly obscure so I think, who the fuck is this?
My sass makes me reply “And who do you think I am?” as I don’t know anyone with that name, I can’t even remember a time I have met anyone with that name or have heard anyone talk about someone with that name. When he replies “Honestly I have no idea whos number this is I’m just board and trying to do anything other than think about my ex haha” then I get “I apologise” Jeez mate, let it all out!
“Oh awesome… It’s just what every woman wants – to be a rebound for someone hung up on their ex.” Like I cannot wait to be yet another option for a guy, who will probably just go back to their ex in the end anyway! He replies with 3 messages “Hahaha yeah dream boat. Lol. On the plus side you are a woman haha.” This can’t be a random wrong number or a random ‘I typed numbers in my phone & just happened to get someone of the opposite sex.’ I think this is bullshit. This person knows who I am & is backing away because I don’t know who they are… “And I was just sitting here at 10:25pm thinking I’m looking for a red flag… Well you found me.” I get a quick succession of texts back “Hahaha. Are you busy? At 10:25. Lol. I’m sorry for bothering you.” Like why say that if you clearly started me messaging me late at night, when you probably know who I am & seemingly hoping for a booty call. 10 minutes later when I haven’t replied, I get a topless torso picture followed by “This is me lol might aswell make a real jack ass of my self lol” OMG. He’s a white slim guy with defined pecs that are a little hairy. My first reaction is that I don’t remember this person – so I haven’t fucked him before. I also inspect the background which isn’t much, he’s taking up most of the photo however I can sort of tell he’s in a bathroom & it may be that there are kids toys in the bath. It’s very hard to tell. Is this another married guy? Or seemingly recently separated?
“ok can I be honest with you because YOLO??” Oh here we go, I actually reply ‘sure’ & he asks if I am single because if not he’ll leave me alone, no dramas at all. I tell him that I am single & he says cool. OMG, this guy is annoying. I ask “So what do you have to be honest about??” because clearly he isn’t going to offer up this information now. “I’ve met you before and think your cute but have not been single until recently…” As if we didn’t see that coming, that this guy knows who I am… But where the fuck from?! I never give out my number! “Where?” I do not know anyone with his name, “We’ve met only very briefly. Though a friend of mine.” Even more unbelievable because I haven’t been out in forever & I haven’t been introduced to anyone recently through a friend. “And I gave you my number??” because I know for a fucking fact that I did not give my number out… When he says that he asked for my number, I don’t even think about this guy that I met a few weeks back at my work drinks – I barely spoke to the guy but the next day my boss says something about his mate asking him for my number. My boss said he was a bit of a player, so he said if he was a nice guy he would’ve but I said he was probably too young for me anyway. I didn’t even remember that till I started writing this post so it can’t be that guy, but that’s the only ‘friend of a friend’ meeting that I’ve had in forever, like years. So I ask where & he says though work. I ask where, but I started a new job & have been using my personal number until I asked for a work number, but this is my personal number not work number & I don’t recall a friend introducing me to someone though work… WHAT? Is it though a friend or work? “I’m overstepping boundaries id say. Lol” Yeah I’ll say, because you’re being evasive & creepy. I ask where again & he says “I done some work at your place a while back… Like I said yolo.” Ummmm… WTF!
Firstly, my reno finished almost a year ago, I haven’t had tradies at my house in a long time. Most of the guys who did work for me that would have my number are saved in my phone because I was contacting them a lot at the time, except for those who worked for someone/company. So why isn’t this guy in my phone?! How did he get my number if I didn’t give it to him… I mentally go through all the tradies who worked here thinking who it could be, a few who did work here, I didn’t have their numbers because they weren’t the main contact of the job… So clearly this guy isn’t a company owner.
I ask what work to narrow it down & I get “lol I’m really not sure I should say” Well that’s even more fucking creepy, what type of fuckwit says at 11:09pm that they’ve been to your house & won’t tell you who they are? WHAT A FUCKING CREEP. I can’t help but think, is this guy out the front of my house right now texting me? I just get that vibe (& doesn’t help that all my tiktoks on my FYP are 911 calls.) so I check my front camera to see if there is anyone out there, I would fucking freak if there was, but there wasn’t. So lets just relax & probe this guy for an answer.
“Can I just say construction works… are you mad cos if so I’m really sorry.” Um, I’m not mad, but I’m fucking freaked out… What is wrong with this person? Did he really do work at my house? Seems a bit to much of a coincidence to not be true. “Either you did work at my house or you didn’t… What work?” This is just pissing me off. “I’m sorry.. I shouldn’t have done this.” I bet this is just late night drunk, rebound texting but it’s fucking creepy. “Yeah particularly if your not going to say, you’re just a creep now.” It’s making me uncomfortable, I keep checking my camera, is this guy just going to rock up?
“That’s fair…worse case you tell my company and I lose my job… should I say??.. I guess I’ve come this far id prefer you know so at least you know who this creep is…” hmmm “i’m not a creep just saying lol. Ok so like I said I only met you very briefly.” I just send back the hand smacking the head emoji because he’s already said that shit… Why can’t he just say, clearly he’s just gone through the work computer & found my details… So many things wrong with that, first it’s been a year since I had work done, so did he get it back then or has been though the computer to find it? How long has he had it? I must’ve made an impression to get a message a year later & risk losing his job over. It’s not like he found me on facebook or found me Instagram or even tiktok, he’s actually got my number. So perhaps the owner gave it to him? I mean I’m not sure I’m comfortable with that either – the fact someone I gave my number as a customer, its such a breech of privacy. However, if his boss gave him my number, then he woudn’t be worried about me telling his company, right?
“Ok ok im sorry so id see you when doing concreting at your place I asked my mate for your number you, you seemed nice and I thought you looked good in your gym gear… I apologise” Rightio, that was the biggest job with the most number of tradies here! So that doesn’t narrow it down much, probably to about 20 guys, however they were all mainly Filipino as the owner is Filipino. This guy is white, so that narrows it down a bit further, but I only really dealt with the owner, I don’t really remember talking to anyone else & definitely don’t remember any of their faces! Also does he mean ‘his mate’ as in his boss, because the owner of that company is the only one I think I gave my number too. But then why is he scared I’ll tell the company & get him fired?!
I tell him I have no idea who he is as there were so many concreters here during that time. “hahaha fair call. I was the handsome one” I actually laugh out loud at that, I mean that’s pretty funny. “Are you going to tell my boss??” Um, should I?? “I can show my face but I don’t think you will remember me. We met very briefly.” I get a picture of his face, he’s a bit of a wranger & looks about 25-30 years old, “u would not remember me lol.” So thinking back, there was a bit of a older guy who was a wranger that was sort of more in charge than the others, I talked with him a little but don’t really remember. That guy wore a legionnaire hat, seemed a bit straight laced, not at all the type to send a shirtless picture to a random. Is this the same guy?!
I also need to go back to the gym clothes comment, because I didn’t know what work he was doing, I couldn’t work out when he would have seen me in gym clothes, because not a lot of the tradies worked weekends or late nights, so I can’t even think when I would be in gym gear during the day? In fact most mornings they rocked up, I was in my fucking oodie & uggs!! So I really don’t know how or when he would’ve seen me in gym gear… & why do guys love gym gear so much?
As I am not really attracted to his face – perhaps because of the creepy way he’s gone about getting my number, because I sure are shit didn’t give it to him & the way he’s revealed what he did at my house, being so coy & evasive about it, paired with my sassy mood, I tell him that I don’t remember him because I had tradies coming & going for about a year. I am about to tell him that I am too old for him/he’s too young for me, which would probably cue the ‘older women are hot’ type comments, but it’ll get me out of this easier… But before I can, he writes “hahaha. Would you like to get to know each other im 39. It’s late now but I mean in general. That’s ok if not.” Yeah it’s 12:23am mate, certainly not now & I hate myself that I got invested in this! “Get over your ex. Be single. Then you can text randoms you do work for.” Fuck I’m in a bitchy mood! Hahaha… But seriously, when am I going to get an emotionally available guy, not just the crumbs of a man still hung up on his ex? “haha that’s good advice.. not something I’ve done before..i’ve not been single in so long.. all good thx for entertaining my stupidity lol” I don’t know if I should write back, I probably should leave it but I don’t, somehow I choose me & have some self-esteem, like it or not, but I say “I’m not a rebound. I’m the main event. So best sort yourself out.” Honestly, I am sick of being treated like this by men, usually I would have kept trying to text him & probably would have tried to meet up with him, only to have him go back to his ex anyway, just as I get attached.
“Oh sorry I’m a dick…you are for sure the main event like I said I seen your gym gear haha and you got it going on house wise nice place dogs etc… I’m for sure trying to self out I don’t have a lot of friends due to ex.. I like you honest short sweet advice…” Um… Are you feeling more creeped out after that message like me? “It’s very late.. think about having a coffee sometime with me I’d really like some one to talk to and I’d like to get to know the main event.” Yeah I don’t know how I feel about that, but I certainly don’t feel good… I put my phone down & go to sleep, it is almost 1:00am after all…
The next morning, I wake up & look at his messages, I am still in a sass – this whole interaction was not flattering, this is just fucking weird… I also have the fleeting thought, that he’s seemingly lost everything with his ex & knows I have a nice house, is he after my money?! (Well actually my debt because I have no money!) It would be very different if we had a flirty interaction when I supposedly met him & then he got my number from his boss or whatever, text me being upfront about how we met & how he got my number. But I don’t remember even talking to this guy & he’s invaded my privacy getting my number from work, he’s lied (not the first guy ever to lie to me!) but then his super creepy way of telling me who he is, making me actually a little paranoid being he knows when I live… The whole interaction has made me feel uncomfortable. I mean I know I am not safe in my forever home due to other factors that are my own fault, as you may know if you’re a long time reader, but this just adds to it.
I decide to write back to be the ultimate bitch & get rid of him “I’m not a counsellor.” I don’t want to get to know someone so he has someone to talk to about his ex. Fuck off… I cannot stand the ex talk, especially from someone you don’t know. I also don’t want to be contacted because he’s got no friends & needs someone to talk too. Get on tinder dude & find someone, this is honestly they oddest way to make friends. “Hay the morning after the night before..yeah totally get it haha. I’d pay for your sessions haha…” Um What the actual fuck? “Sorry not funny I know.” I don’t write back to those messages & that’s seemingly the end. It was not funny. I am not amused.
Ironically telling some friends about this story & a couple of them, I think one was my mum, said that this guy stuck his neck out to find me, a year later, that I should be flattered & give him a go. Really?! Like really?! I just don’t see it the same way… Maybe I’ve been listening to too many 911 calls on tiktok to believe that I will be safe with this guy & not end up buried under some concrete he lays on a daily basis… What do you think? Was I too harsh? Or was this completely as fucked up as I think it was?
I've Been Dating For You 