Category: Dating

Daizy comes out of his hotel… Why is he staying in a hotel? Something is not right about this guy, something doesn’t add up. We go up to his room & share a beer, the room is literally smaller than my bedroom & it also includes a bathroom. We sit there talking & I think that he’s going to make a move but he doesn’t. I get angrier with my friend for taking so fucking long when I am the one who’s worked two jobs & made it here exactly when I said I would be here, now I’m stuck in this tiny room that I could die in, I mean I don’t really know this guy, do I?

My friend & her friend rock up & they refuse to come up to his room or to the little balcony where we could talk more openly, so Daizy & I head down to the bar. As much as I know Daizy is not my boyfriend – not even & there is something about him that I can’t figure out – much like Motocross – I like walking into a pub with him, easy, casual, not awkward, not looking around trying to find someone for a first date, I’m with someone, a friend… I think with this guy I do let the thrill of what it’s like to have someone by your self get the better of me.

The double date is a bit weird. We’re here to see if Lucy’s friend will work well on the podcast. To be honest with you I am surprised this is the type of guy that Lucy is interested in, he doesn’t come across nice or offer to buy her drinks. She has to go buy him one, but maybe they have some sort of arrangement. I find out later that he didn’t have any money & the only way she could get him out tonight was to say she’d pay for drinks. I don’t vibe well with him & I don’t think Daizy does either, but we got about the night having a couple of drinks & planning out the podcast.

When the night comes to an end, I walk Daizy back to his hotel room & he invites me up, I say no as it’s a school night, also I know that if I sleep with him that he will disappear. There is sexual tension there but there isn’t that spark as such. Like sometimes I feel like he is putting me down or judging me or too self helpy. He’s not but that how he makes me feel sometimes… He also it very good at saying all the right things to make me want to fuck him. But I want the podcast more & I think the sexual tension will make the podcast hotter. SO I AM NOT GOING TO FUCK HIM!

He calls me on the way home, he says so me that if that guy is on the podcast he doesn’t want to be a part of it. While I 100% agree with him, I don’t want that guy on the podcast, I now think 4 will be way too many but I don’t like the threat of him walking away when it’s like like he wants it. I reassure him that he won’t be on the podcast at all. As it turns out Lucy & him had a massive fight on the way back to his house & she told him not to call her again.

The rest of the week we chat & text a fair bit via text & arrange with Lucy to actually do some recordings of the podcast! OMG It’s actually happening, I am so excited. We get together at Lucy’s house which is out his side of town, she’s also got a date with a new guy later & is a bit nervous that she tries on all her outfits for me, then when Daizy gets there, she shows him too & I’m surprised when he picks something different to me…

We do some recordings over a couple of hours, mainly working out the format. I had an idea that I would read a blog & then we would discuss sort of like the format of “My Dad Wrote A Porno” but when we recorded it, it was boring & I didn’t like it. So we tried another format, which again didn’t work really well so we ended up with more of a conversation type podcast format… We recorded two of our chosen format for about 10 minutes each, because I wanted to keep them shorter for the commute to work. It is funny – well it is to me, it is unplanned & raw but I like what we are going for. If anyone is interested, I am happy to post the two which are unedited & there is a dog barking in one of them, I am happy to post them for you guys to listen too!

After we do some recordings & work out our format but it gets too close to Lucy’s date so she gets ready & we hang back at her house. I have a feeling Daizy is going to try to make a move, but he doesn’t. Lucy has asked us to go to the pub that she is at & “surprise” interrupt the date. I agree but as we’re walking in to the pub, I tell Daizy that I feel like an absolute fuckwit. As if this guy isn’t going to know that this is a set up.

Again I love the excitement of walking in the pub with Daizy, laughing & having good banter with him. I genuinely like the tension between us, it makes me more cheeky. He buys us a drink & he says he wants to put money in the pokies, which he shoves $50 in the machine & I sit in the chair as he’s just standing -like he knows he’s about to blow this whole $50.

I sit there cheekily rubbing my leg against his, opening up the top button so he can look down my top or brushing his cock with my knee though his pants… Why can’t I be like this with others? Is it because I want a different kind of relationship with this guy so I can be more myself without fear of his ghosting me in a few weeks time? He tells me I have made him hard & he steps back to show me the budge in his pants, he spins his last few dollars in the machine, so I stand up & tell him we need to go find Lucy with a cheeky grin.

#IBD4U

So as you can imagine, I can’t help it, but I get so pissed off by people who run late or people who say they’ll be somewhere but aren’t. I am always insanely on time & if I say I am going to be somewhere, it is fucking rare that I am not there or that I run late. I’m not sure if this is a good or bad quality of mine…

Precisely 7 minutes later I get “5 my phone died.” Rightio. But yet it takes him another 10 minutes to get to my house, another pet hate. Why can’t people just be fucking on time. I always over estimate so that I show up a bit earlier, or should I say 5 minutes & really mean 10? Actually, I usually tell people exactly what my GPS says, so there are no surprises. Maybe I’m a weirdo, but whatever, I can’t help it. I hate waiting around, my time is just as precious as other peoples, why do I have to sit around waiting for someone that I didn’t really want to come to my house anyway?

When he walks in Daizy kisses me on the cheek and I notice that he’s changed his clothes – um why?! He’s now wearing tracksuit pants. He meets the dogs, we both get a drink – he’s brought some cans of something & we sit on the couch, but somehow even though he only had 2 beers at the bar about 3 hours ago now, he looks so fucking wasted like he’s drunk 10 beers. How did he get so drunk on the drive up here?! Did he drink on the way? Had he taken drugs? How could be be so wasted… He also has brought in a head massager, you know those wire things that look like a wire hat, he tries to get me to take my hair down so he can massage my head but I say no. WTF.

He acts (or is) so fucking drunk that he’s stumbling around my lounge room, unable to sit still but unable to stand. The dogs sit on the couch with him & he calls them cock blockers – I think that’s not what’s blocking your cock dude! Would it even work at this point? I figure he’s going to have to stay here the night, he’s so off his head right now & I don’t know what on because there is no way he is just drunk! He confesses later that he smoked weed – which I suspected, this isn’t a surprise, but this isn’t stoned type behaviour. I press him further on what else he’s had & he tells me that he’s also had some Xanax. Oh FFS. I guess he’s definitely not driving home then!

We don’t kiss or have sex that night, I mean he’s fucked off his head, I didn’t want to have sex with him anyway so this isn’t surprising. He does try to leave at one point, when I won’t have sex with him, like a petulant child & I just tell him to get back into bed & go to sleep, which he does, I can’t let him drive in this condition all the way back out north. He falls sleeps easily, snoring most of the night so not only do I not sleep but he also is passed out on my side of the bed, basically on my pillow, so I have no room in the bed to move or any covers to cover me & because he’s so passed out, he’s harder to move than my 30 kg dog! I haven’t slept overnight with a lot of people before, but usually you can kick a person a bit & they roll over, he did not. He didn’t move all night & when I wake up – if you can say I woke up, I awake up to a huge dribble patch on my sheets where he slept.

I get up & get the dogs up & start to get ready for my clients, I wake him up when I need to get ready to go to my little business. I don’t normally open on Sundays but sometimes I have a client. He hasn’t left my room & I need to get change, so I slip last nights dress off over my head, standing in just my undies, no bra, I put a bra on & then another dress quickly, but he looks up as I am mostly naked putting on a bra & says “Aww, don’t do that!”, I giggle & innocently say “What?” Well I guess he likes what he sees in the sober light of day…

I get him out of my house fairly quickly, having to leave early & I leave him in the driveway saying goodbye, honestly, expecting not to see him again because not only did I not fuck him, he was fucked off his head & seemed a bit embarrassed by how fucked up he was… I like the guy to hang out with but there will be no hard feelings if he ghosts me.  

I am with my client just before 9:30 am & he texts “Your bed is so comfortable” which stupidly makes me smile when I see it on my watch, then a follow up text asking for my email, that he’s going to set up some checklist app that we can all share ideas for the podcast on. Well he’s keen & remembers what he told us he’d do last night. I like that about it, his motivation for the project is infectious.

When I get home, on the bedside table on his side of the bed (not that it’s his side, but the side he was supposed to sleep on) I find what looks like some tubular sports bandage & an eye mask – what the fuck was he planning on doing last night… I shove it in my top draw so my family don’t see when they come over tonight for dinner. Also why did he have that in his car?!

Around lunch time he tells me to come to the beach for a swim, but I am asleep, having a nap, something I rarely ever do! I was so tired, I think we slept at 3am? But I also had terrible heartburn, something I get from eating or drinking too much sugar. Then when I don’t reply I get a bunch of messages in a row “ill buy you dinner” “no tryna fuck ya, just business” “ya can’t blame me tho course ur pretty hot. It won’t happen again” “imma hang at the beach & read all the blog” I haven’t even seen one message yet when they all come through. I reply that he wouldn’t have remembered having sex with me anyway & that my family come over tonight, so I don’t hear from him again.

There’s something odd though, why is he always at the beach? Why doesn’t he seem like he has somewhere to go… I can’t put my finger on it. But there is something not entirely right about this guy… My curiosity will make me keep dating/meeting him to find out.

My family are over, they’ve been there for about 2 hours at this point & I go into the bathroom to wash my hands, when I see a fucking bright yellow condom in the decorative plant on the vanity. Daizy had gone out to his car in the morning & brought one back in saying I’d have it for next time. I show him my stash & say that I don’t need it & to take it with him but that’s where he leaves it. FUCK. I quickly hide it in the draw & hope no one saw it, especially the kids. I message him to tell him off – obviously as a joke & he just sends a winky face back. I ask him if it’s flavoured, trying to keep the conversation going & he says try it. But I say that there is no point in a flavoured condom, I mean who sucks a dick with a condom on? I say that glow in the dark, flavoured & ribbed are a waste of time, he says that “even talking about condoms is a waste of time” I ask why & he calls me. I can’t answer so I reject it, I can text but I can’t chat on the phone. Sometimes people don’t get that, I mean I can text quickly while doing stuff like working (when on a call or in a video conference) but a phone conversation about condoms is going to take a bit longer, I’m not having that conversation around my parents. So I ignore him & call later.

By Monday Daizy has created a account on an app that we can use to brainstorm ideas for the podcast. He tells me to call him when I can & he’ll give me a crash course, but when I get a chance to play around with it, it’s pretty simple, I’m not an idiot when it comes to app & computers… I call him later in the evening & we chat for a while… Mainly about the podcast & sometimes he slips in how much he finds me attractive & we chat flirty for a little bit too. I like the chemistry that we have, the flirty chats we have… It’s so refreshing to have a guy want to talk, not just to get sex… This is a lot of fucking effort if that’s all he wants…

Tuesday night I get a message asking what I’m doing & that he’s got a hotel room in the city, that if I’m free we could grab a meal. I have a couple of clients after work but say that I can be there around 7:00pm. He says yeah & I think this is a perfect opportunity to see if Lucy & her mate that she wants on the podcast – see if there is dynamic there. I rush through my client, with Daizy messaging me to bring drinks to his hotel & we can all meet there, there is a private balcony, I don’t reply as I am with a client, so then he calls me, a few times, I have told him that I am not going to be finished until 6:30pm & it’s now 6:35 pm when he says “is this happening or imma go get laid” Oh for fuck sake, I am not going to have threats & shit like that when I am on my way to meet him… I got held up for fuck sake, not that I am playing games! He knew I was at work.

I call him to tell him that I am running late – he should understand this concept very well & that I’ve also spoken to Lucy who won’t be there till 8:00pm. Jesus, they all knew about this at 5:30pm, I’m the only one who’s had to do a client after work & get into the city… He also tells me that he’s not ready & will need some time to get ready. Oh fucking hell. We hang up after I’m snappy with him, he’s trying to get me to come to the hotel because he’s not ready & Lucy is on her way, like fuck me. What the fuck have these people been doing for the last hour?!

Daizy calls me again to buy him cigarettes but I say no, I tell him I’m on my way still & he says to come up to his hotel room. But instead, I go park in a side street & send a video to Marvel of me sticking my fingers inside me, something cheeky to make him want to see me this week. But Daizy calls again & again so I go park near his hotel & wait outside it, for him to come get me, like a hooker…

#IBD4U

I know I said I wasn’t going to date in my 40’s & technically that is true, except that over Christmas holidays, after I end my blog & Covid is running rampant though Adelaide due the boarders being opened, I find myself just sitting at home playing games on my phone. Marvel is offline (as you know I was still seeing him when I signed off my blog last year.) – because I know they are on holidays thanks to the whiteboard by his front door. He won’t come online till they’re back at work & he doesn’t – Mr predictable.

So during this time, I create a online account, why I am not sure but I get matches pretty quickly. I had also during this time asked Valvoline for a catch up, he took days to reply that yes he was keen but I never replied, thinking what is the point, he has moved even further north & in late January 2022, he’s commenting on someone’s posts all the time & I’m assuming they’re about to get together – which they do, so much for not wanting to be in a relationship. Much like what happened with Elvis – who I also noticed deleted me from Facebook, also happened with Milky, also Origin (who now has a kid with the chick he was with after me). So all a guy needs is to date me to find the perfect girl & all a girl needs is to be friends with me & she’ll find the man of her dreams too. FUCK.

I join a dating site that has a friend section on it too because to be honest, I have started playing netball – with a club but everyone in my team is either a little bitch, too young or not very friendly – lets just say, like my life, netball isn’t going how I thought it would. I wanted to meet new people, hang out etc but that hasn’t happened so I join online thinking that perhaps I can make some new friends. Having spent 2020 & 2021 losing people in my life that I thought were friends due to the letting them live with me & fighting my old workplace, I decide on another option.

Like I said I get matches pretty easily but they never go anywhere, I match with a guy that is in a band that one my friends used to make us stalk every weekend, we have a great chat, he even tells me that they made it big in LA & shares his Spotify with me, he asks me out & I say yes then decide I better listen to their album, which I do but I never hear from him again… WTF. This reminds me why I gave this up!!

But I stick it out because stupidly I paid for the fucking app – without meaning too, it keeps a reoccurring payment for a couple of weeks before I remember to turn the fucker off. But I meet Daizy on there – it’s not a long time chatting (Like minutes’ worth of chatting) before he tells me that he wants to meet at the beach, that he’s on the way down there for a top secret chat with his mum. One of the things that always makes me cautious is someone that wants to meet quickly & keeps wanting to meet even you clearly aren’t interested in doing so. But he gives me his number & I message which prompts him to call… He’s a caller… It’s Thursday night, it’s at 9:54pm. I am a nanna in her 40’s so I am already in bed. We chat on the phone – he talks like a tradie, you know the type that swear & sound a bit rough around the edges, but I like his sense of humour, it draws me in. He’s funny!

He tells me about the thing he’s got going with his mum, a raw chat with her son about a topic he won’t disclose… & while I like the deeper side to him, considering the way he talks, it’s kind of becomes frustrating that a) he won’t tell me what he’s doing but also that never shuts up about it – always saying I won’t go into it now & b) when he gets to self helpy, I just want a frivolous conversation sometimes, not a D&M every time we chat (spoiler – we chat more than once!). In fact it’s not even a D&M because sometimes he just talks at me & I don’t even know what to say, nor do I want to say anything for fear of saying the wrong thing, because he pulls me up on it – making me feel childish. I honestly am realising from a bit of a fall out with another friend when I went to visit her, that clearly I don’t know how to be a friend… This clearly proves it.

But I tell him that I’ve actually been working on a podcast too, a recording if you will (Which is true, since I ended writing in December 2021, I’ve been focusing on finding the right people for it, a friend wants to be on it & I think because she’s dated a lot she will be good for it, with stories but really she’s just a clueless as me (hahaha) as to why things happen so that makes me apprehensive about her but it’s only going to be fun so who cares, lets all give it a shot, now to find a boy! (still yes, years later!) I tell this guy all about the idea of a podcast but don’t really go into depth about the blog. A friend once told me that I shouldn’t ever tell a guy about it – that I’m interested in, that I should take it to my grave!

Daizy & I text a bit, later on, once he’s done his thing with his mum but it’s after 11 & I am almost asleep so even though he says he’ll let me sleep, he tries to call about 30 minutes after we stop texting but I ignore it as I can’t be bothered talking while almost asleep.

The next night, Friday night, he tries to come to my house again – a few texts & a call & he wants to either meet by the beach or at my house both sound like a murder mystery waiting to happen so I decide on no, he does another recording with his mum which he says that perhaps I might be able to help with my writing knowledge & passion for a podcast, I still don’t even know what he is doing or what the topic is so how can I even begin to help… So I just try to go with it & keep saying to him to say hi to his mum for me. But again it’s late & I just say that I am headed to bed.

The next day Saturday I get a message “time & place tonight & ill see ya there” did we make plans & I was so sleepy that I don’t remember… Well I figure that I should perhaps meet him, he’s more persistent that any other guy… We make plans then he calls me to confirm the plans – I like that he doesn’t forget things easily, I have to giggle when he asks me what I’ll be wearing, I say that I don’t know but later text him to say that I’ll be fairly casual. I mean when you think about it, it’s not a date, we’re meeting in the interest of helping each other with our little side projects right…? I don’t need to look perfect in a date outfit with perfect hair & make up – besides we have to wear a fucking covid mask anyway…  

We meet at the pub, he calls me as I am sitting in the car – I am waiting a few minutes so I am not super early, he walks over to me as I am getting out of the car, we hug a hello & he looks at what I’m wearing & says “you are casual, aren’t you?” Um… am I? I’m wearing a navy hoodie dress in my favourite brand LSKD with little white sneaker things. My hair is up in a top knot & I think I look cute & casual… Short dress but basically a long jumper. He’s not wearing anything special, I mean he’s wearing a red hat that makes me think of Fred Durst – which I tell him later would probably be his blog nickname & jeans & a t shirt. Like not like he put on a dinner jacket, why is he commenting on what I am wearing!?

We go inside, he pays for a drink & we sit down chatting, it starts off with me spilling the beans about my blog & podcast… He asks lots of questions, again avoiding any that I ask about the shit he has planned with his mum but he says multiple times that it’ll change the world basically… Well it’s never going to change the world if you won’t even tell me about it. It’s like he’s scared that I am going to steal his idea or something… Believe me, I have my own ideas, I don’t need to steal his to develop.

By 8:30pm I have sent him the link to the podcast I was on in America & a link to the start of my blog! Within another 10 minutes, I’m on the phone to my friend – who is going to be on the podcast – Lucy, asking her to come meet us for a drink too.

Daizy is witty, enthusiastic & while he’s easy to talk to, it’s also hard to talk to him too. I can’t explain it. It’s like he always wants depth to the conversation but he talks like a proper foul mouth tradie that he doesn’t know how to get the depth so he talks at you, not with you, if that makes sense. But as I said before, I think I have trouble having those in depth conversations with people. I mean I can express myself in my blog but I struggle with that type of intimacy, even with a friend…

I am though having a good time with my new friend Daizy & my friend Lucy, when Daizy messages me in front of my friend “Tonight at the beach?” Hmmm, what? I blurt out why have you text me tonight at the beach, he instantly says oh sorry that’s not for you & so I get pissed off… I couldn’t care less if this guy is fucking someone else, but fuck me, accidently texting me while on a sort of date (or whatever this is) with me that’s meant for someone else is just fucked up… I don’t think that’s ever happened to me before. But whatever, I am over this date/meeting now, it’s getting late so I pick up my stuff & we all leave, I don’t want to be here anymore, so I stand at the car, hug him goodbye. Lucy & I chat, saying what a fuckwit for texting someone else about the beach to me accidentally, he had said that he hadn’t saved my number in his phone so I guess it could have been an honest mistake… Whatever…

While I’m standing there chatting with Lucy about Daizy & if he’ll be good for the podcast or not, which I think he will, Daizy then sends me a text “Wanna fuck or ill never bring it up again” then “Come to west beach boat ramp.” Well first thing I am not fucking this guy at a boat ramp after he’s just text someone else to meet them at the beach – is he fucking kidding me?! Not only that but it’s the first day of my period & I am in agony (my first day is always so painful!). I tell him to just meet his friend at the beach, which around 9:30pm, no stress. All good.

I’m on my way home now anyway. But he calls… FFS. He asks where I am, which I have already left & too far to turn back now to meet him at the beach – probably not but I can’t be assed with this shit. I also have a client in the morning at my little business, I’m a nanna so it’s time for bed. But by 9:40pm when he assures me that the message to meet at the beach was for me (yeah right, I bet whoever it was for said fuck off too, so he’s trying again with me!), but he says that I made him embarrassed in front of Lucy asking about it & so he panicked & said it was for someone else. WHAT? That’s so much worse than just admitting that he wanted me alone… I mean why would you say it’s for someone else if it wasn’t?! Does he not understand the woman’s brain at all!?

Somehow he talks me into letting him come to my house, I explain that I won’t be having sex with him. But somehow, I am texting my address to him. If he’s right behind me – which he is, he’ll be there shortly after me so I need to get home & sort the dogs out & tidy up a bit, I have no idea what my house looks like at this point… FUCK. I get home just before 10:00pm & listen out for every car that drives past, stalking my outdoor camera. I am getting tired, my wine buzz is wearing off, knowing I have to get up for work tomorrow… Fucking hell, it’s 10:10pm, almost an hour since we left the pub & nothing… I start to get angry, but I did tell him to get mixer as I only have wine or spirits in my house, perhaps he’s stopped at the petrol station for some soft drinks. But even then he shouldn’t be this long… So I text at 10:30pm “Are you far away?” because at this point, I’m about to turn the lights off & go to bed!

Crickets!

#IBD4U