Motocross #12

A shorter bonus post today, because this was supposed to be ready for Tuesday & my amazing guest blog today, however I wasn’t prepared! So here it is! The #BonusPost. Hence why if you notice the colour of the heart meme was wrong! Hahaha… No one probably notices, do you?!

On with the story : I go to sleep, semi disappointed to be honest but also, it’s ok, I mean I sleep better alone, this is moving fast, I am not sure I’m ready for full on sleepovers just yet. I’m not sure why Motocross hasn’t stayed over since the first time we had sex though, at least once. Of course my overthinking brain wonders why he hasn’t stayed, or why he doesn’t want to stay over? Especially when leaving here at 2:00 am. I mean I think possibly that he’s still married maybe, but she’s changed her name on Facebook so I don’t think so… he couldn’t just go home that late every night without arousing suspicion… What else could it be? Especially if he’s going to come over again tonight. How can he get away so much if he’s married or seeing someone else? It’s now Monday night – end of July, tomorrow will be 2 weeks since we met online.

I don’t hear from him all day which disappoints me too but then again I haven’t messaged him either, however you all know my dumb rule. As I’m leaving work I think I will message him as I am either going to skip going to Rope & see him or I will go to Rope. So I message him & ask if he’s still wants to come over. He says “Hey yeah I can come a bit later sure but if you’ve got plans all good though I can wait” What is that supposed to mean? Fuck, don’t over think it. “No I’m not doing anything, besides you… Will be home in about 20 mins so any time after 6.” I try to be cheeky, because I don’t want to be in a bad mood that he didn’t message & that he said he doesn’t have to see me, that he can wait. “Hahaha good answer. Yeah nice okay I’ll be there about 6:30ish” Lets think about this, 6:30 pm is early, like if he didn’t want to hang out with me, he’d say like 8:00 pm or something right?

I potter around doing some stuff at home waiting for him to come. 6:30 pm comes & goes. 6:45 pm comes & goes… I think this is unusual for Motocross, he’s always been so punctual. I keep looking at my phone wondering if I should message him, I didn’t reply with a yeah come on over at 6:30 pm, I just thought it was implied… Fuck, should I message? Where is he…? I am sitting on the couch thinking, fuck I broke my rule of drinking alone & he’s about to bail on me! Or maybe he is waiting for me to message to say come on over? When at 6:55 pm, I see his face pop up on my watch, I quickly look at the message, holding my breath for the I’m not coming bullshit excuses “Hey I’ll be there real soon.” Phew… Something has obviously come up, he’s not even 30 minutes late at this point… & to be fair, he did say ish. I reply that it’s all good & I’ll see him soon & I relax.

He knocks on the door just after 7:00 pm & I am reminded of Noddy & how he just would walk in & say hey as he walked in without me having to get up off the couch, then he’d bee line it for me to give me a kiss hello, so familiar & so much more like a boyfriend. Motocross knocks on the door, waits for me to answer & then walks in without kissing me on the cheek even. Is it weird at this point? I mean the man has had an intimate bath with me among other intimate acts, basically invited me to Vancouver for a holiday with him (& admit that you’re all planning that trip in your head too, I am not alone here!) & is hanging out with me on very regular basis – surely he would just knock & enter then kiss me hello as he walks in the door?!

Motocross already have a wife

Anyway he doesn’t want a drink, which is just a beer, he’s not a big drinker & I’m starting to think that he thinks I’m an alcoholic, every time he’s over, I have a couple of beers or a glass of wine, he has said something about my drinking too, I forget what now but I know it made me feel self-conscious – knowing he doesn’t drink a lot due to training. I am so careful with my drinking, as I’m not sure that I’ve told you this but I come from a long line of alcoholics, so I made a rule a long time ago when I started drinking a lot after I moved back from Canada & moved back into my house I owned with Boyfriend, that was being rented out, that I would never drink alone & I pretty much follow that rule all the time since then, only once or twice I have broken that rule. I don’t need to drink but when I have company, I will have a couple of drinks.

We watch fucking Sharknado 3. Like really…. It’s laughable at this point! But also hilarious that I have to watch them all. Motocross falls asleep on my couch so I wake him up by moving around a lot when the movie had finished, he had picked the stupid movie… We barely watched number 2 because we ended up having sex. Now, we sort of sit looking at each other, I’m unable to make a move, but then I sort of lean forward & kiss him on the couch. We have the same sex in my bedroom as we’ve had every time & again – it’s good, I’m not complaining, however this guy really doesn’t know much about foreplay. He touches my clit though my pants (but that doesn’t count, cos it’s not really getting into your clit to be honest) & he dry humps me when we’re kissing but there isn’t a lot of foreplay, we both get ourselves undressed in my bedroom & he’s on top sliding his dick in, which is lucky that I’m wet enough for him to do so. When we have sex again & me on top, I don’t know about you ladies, but I’ve heard this before from men, so I don’t know what you are all doing, but he says that he likes that I grab his cock to guide him in… WTF?! Do other women not do this? I’ve heard this from more than one man, so what do women do when on top or when the man is on top, I always grab their cock & guide it in, or sometimes they’re just poking around your leg trying to find your hole & it’s awkward. So I just eliminate this awkwardness & guide their cock in. However when Motocross says he likes it, I don’t know why it makes me wonder what other women do when a dude is about to slip his dick in? The only time I don’t help is when I’m tied up, I even try to help when they’re coming in from behind, especially when they aren’t the type to hold their cock to slide it in… Am I alone with this? I must be a minority being that a few men have said it to me. Hahaha… Let me know if you do it too!

Anyway, he gets up about 11:30 pm & goes home, suggesting tomorrow night. Tomorrow night will be 2 weeks since we met online, this is also the third night in a row that he’ll see me, but yet he’s not staying over?! I don’t really ask this time as I don’t want him to have to make an excuse. I know he gets up super early for training, so it’s ok, I don’t want to be woken up at stupid o’clock to him leaving my house. So maybe it’s better him not staying over? Maybe it’s too early for that stuff?

#IBD4U

Guest Blog : Rooster

This is a blog post from someone who has guest blogged with me before… I love this story! Enjoy.

Rooster

So… it’s been a while, but you may or may not remember the last encounter I wrote about was with a charmer named Ryan. Believe it or not after the debacle that was Ryan I was still keen to try to find a regular friend with benefits. A week or so after seeing Ryan I thought I should message him to be polite, I messaged him and said that I hoped he hadn’t thought I had been rude, I had just been really busy. He messaged back to tell me that he had met someone (in 8 days – when not looking for a serious relationship – wow!) I wished him all the best and tried to put him to the back of my mind.
I was swiping through Tinder again later that week when an intro caught my eye. The guys profile pic was of a tractor (lesson learnt since) but the intro said that he was a genuine guy, looking for a friend for fun and if you liked being pampered he was your guy and you could lay back and relax.


A match was made and over the next week or two there was a lot of chatting. When I asked the guy why he did not have his photo as his profile pic he explained that he was trying to keep a low profile. When I asked for a picture (he had seen my face and body shape after all) he replied with one and quickly after asked if I was still going to chat to him. I replied of course (he wasn’t unattractive I didn’t think) but he seemed to think that women once they saw him had changed their minds in the past. We had quite a lot of chat happening on Tinder and then it moved to Snapchat. I HATE snapchat as a chatting medium, I hate that messages disappear, and you cannot see the message history of what has been sent. We chatted for a while and things started to get interesting. He lived over an hour from me so meeting wasn’t as simple as I would have liked. A date to meet up was made. The meeting was set for the Sunday after my 40th birthday, during the party I was chatting and my girlfriends were in stitches at my story and could not believe it was going to happen. Neither could I, I had high hopes for this hook up becoming a regular thing. The afternoon of the meeting I had a gut feeling…


Bam, there it was, a snap chat message telling me that his adult son had broken his car and needed it fixed so he could get to work the next day. Rooster needed to help him fix it so he could not come visit that day. I felt he was genuinely sorry – he certainly sounded like he was in the message he sent. Later that afternoon I sent him a video of me using a toy (why do I give guys my time and energy who don’t give theirs to me???) and his response after he saw it was “I’m going to punch my son in the mouth” which had me laughing.
We kept trying to make a date to catch up, but he worked in a mine and was 4 days on 4 days off which made it hard for him. I also have children at home so we were juggling my weekends that were free. One night while I was cooking tea my snap chat notification came on. It was him, he was stark naked at a lookout on the way to work and had stopped and taken a full frontal selfie on the lookout and sent to me. He must have set the phone up, stripped, set a timer and then went and posed. It had me laughing for days
The chat continued, mostly sexual and then another date was set. This was one was on a weekday and the anticipation had been building. I got a message around an hour before were due to meet, him telling me he was on his way. I arrived home from work to find him waiting at the front of the house – he followed me in and I told him I was nervous, he grabbed my hand and kissed me and then we made our way to my bedroom.

guest blog rooster


The foreplay was good, he went down on me which is something he had alluded to in his tinder profile. He was another one that didn’t even think to use a condom. We were playing with each other and next thing he was on top of me. I asked him if he was worried I would fall pregnant (after all he didn’t know me well), he told me he had a vasectomy so he wasn’t concerned. We fucked twice and then to my disappointment he was getting up and ready to leave. When we had been chatting I am sure he had told me he had more time but he wanted out of there!
We kept chatting via snap chat for a little while longer, the messages were getting further and further apart. We had spoken when we were together about not fucking anyone else – I just wanted one friends with benefits to rely on – that’s it. When he had asked me the usual “What are you looking for” that’s what I had told him too. One day I got a notification on my tinder (I had hidden my profile as per our agreement) and I was very annoyed to find a notification that he had changed his tinder profile picture.


I decided he was dead to me and I was moving on. It was good sex, I just wish he had been honest, maybe I wouldn’t have fucked him just once but at least I would have gone in with eyes open. This all happened in December 2018, then during the Coronavirus pandemic in April 2020 I was working from home with kids at home. I was working in the front room and heard a truck pull up, I live on a busy main road so I paid it no heed. Next thing there was a knock on the door, I let my children answer the door and I heard “Is ***** here?” I came around the corner to find Rooster standing there. To say I was shocked was an understatement. This guy fucks me, disappears and then just calls in 16 months later??? We stood there very awkwardly smiling at each other, he explained that he had been driving past and thought he would stop and say Hi. I told him I thought he had been dodgy disappearing like that – he told me he lost his phone, snapchat everything…. I’m thinking yeah dude, that old chestnut… As my sister pointed out – he knew where I lived so he could have found me if he wanted to!

This is literally something that would happen to me. I am so happy about this post, not that it happened to one of my readers but that it’s so similar, that I know I am not alone!

#IBD4U

Motocross #11

So I decide that I will look so casual & relaxed, with my legs crossed on the edge & leaning back, playing with my phone when he gets here. Cool, sexy & relaxed. Perfect. I get a message that isn’t from Motocross, but I have to sit up to write back because this isn’t a texting position, when I see him appear quietly at the bathroom door out of the corner of my eye – he’s looking at me & I jump like a fucking lunatic & almost drop my phone in the bath! FUCK… So smooth! So perfect….Fuck. I couldn’t have been more fucking unprepared for that entry if I tried… FUCKING HELL! He laughs as he leans on the door frame, like a jerk – he’s pulled off the casual, relaxed, sexy look, so fucking well, while I do not look at all like I was planning, I’m now sloshing around like a whale, trying to get myself straight & back in the water with a sucked in gut. FUCK. How didn’t I hear his car pull up or him come in the front door? Fuck.

He stands at the door talking to me looking so cool – cool as a cucumber, calm & collected for a few minutes, in that moment I hate him & I hate that I have no bubbles! He stands there for a long time, just chit chatting that it gets a little weird, so I ask if he’s going to get in – because otherwise I should probably get out, he says yeah & walks into my bedroom to get undressed. I try to pull off the casual relaxed #IBD4U look I was going for when he got here & I fail miserably, yet again! I look dishevelled, flustered & like a fish out of water. I should give up! FFS. What a fucking hilarious disaster.

I don’t think Motocross done this bath thing before either, because he walks back into the bathroom, naked, but being modest… Not covering his dick with his hand, but it’s sort of somehow hidden away, not tucked away – it’s not between his legs, but I don’t really look either, so he doesn’t feel weird about getting into the bath with me. What is it about seeing the man you’re fucking (but not in a relationship with) in the nude, when it’s not about having sex? After sex, it’s ok. Before sex it’s fine, but when you’re not having sex, why does it feel weird, when it’s not leading to sex. This isn’t about sex… But this is the most intimate thing I have ever done with someone I’m not in a relationship with. It’s so fucking intimate.

I move aside in the bath to bring my legs up, he steps in the bath & sits down – I allow him to stretch out his legs & settle in but we do not touch! Literally do not touch! He doesn’t rest his hand on my legs or brush my leg with his leg… Bahaha… Looking back I think now how hilarious that is & how pathetic we are but when I was in the moment, it seems fucking weird to touch him since he didn’t touch me. I am still flustered about looking like a wanker when he got here, I almost dropped my phone in the bath FFS, that I’m not really with it now.

We chat easily about the race, about his weekend away, I ask about the press stuff & he also mentions that he was listening to a similar playlist before the race to get him in the zone – he picks a more obscure song in my playlist & starts singing it quietly. I smirk at him singing… He also says that he was in a rural town somewhere in NSW & that the track was too fast (whatever that means) & everyone kept crashing so the hospital couldn’t cope so they shut down the race, he says that he won the race though & walked away with $17k for winning… Errr WTF?! Why did he tell me that? It makes me uncomfortable to know that he just made that much & I can’t help but think that he’s not offered to pay for more being he clearly earns more than me! Hahaha. – I’m not like that at all, calm down, it was a joke!

Motocross feels like home

Oddly, I also notice something about Motocross that I haven’t ever noticed before now, as he talks, he has a slight stutter. Why haven’t I noticed that before with him? We’ve been on plenty of dates & talked lots? I know his spelling & grammar are terrible, but I haven’t noticed a stutter before. Has he relaxed around me enough to not be conscious of it? Or is he more nervoice because we’re in the bath together? Or is it because he’s talking about something he’s really passionate about? I’m asking more racing questions than I have before, being this is the first time he’s raced since we’ve known each other… I don’t know, but I actually really like it… It’s makes him somehow a little bit more attractive to me, cuter, more vulnerable or something.

Now, I talk about all sorts of topics here… I don’t hold anything back as you know, sex, kink, anal, rimming – whatever the topic, I cover it – I am not shy about writing anything here for you. I tell you everything basically… Even if it’s embarrassing… Well it’s only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing… But I’m trying to make topics I cover less embarrassing. I’ve talked about farts before – mainly during rimming, but everyone farts every day, right… Well have you ever been in a bath with a guy you’ve just started seeing – probably not after 10 days but this is going at warp speed – & just enjoying the night, but your tummy keeps groaning for you to pop one out?! FUCK… So I can’t fart discreetly in a fucking god damn bath! Especially a bath with no fucking bubbles… FUCK… There is no discreet way to fart on a date, in a bath. Normally I would walk into the other room & get a drink or something… Hahaha… Of course as fate would have it, I haven’t farted at all in the bath the whole evening while alone – trying to get into a casual relaxed position, but now that Motocross is in the bath with me, my guts is not going to let this one go. I squirm around trying to hold it in – which always makes it worse & it comes back with a vengeance, making my tummy growl, which also sounds like a fart. I even do the unthinkable & touch his legs! I know right?! So risque. I must be squirming a lot because he asks if I’m ok, I just say that I’m getting cold & my back is starting to hurt, perhaps we should get out. He agrees, phew. It’s been about 45 minutes after all…

As the water is making so much noise going down the plug – those gurgling sounds & we’re getting dry, he leaves the bathroom in his towel to find his clothes & I can finally let my little fart out! Carefully of course to not make noise, then I wave my towel around in case there is a lingering smell… Hahaha… But we all good, Motocross notices nothing! We really cover the hot topics here at #IBD4U! So sexy. Also so you know, because we’d actually talked about baths together in the future while in this bath, I buy nice bubble bath & have it in the cupboard for future use. I will not have this happen again!

I meet him in my bedroom, naked, I kind of parade around thinking we might have sex now, but he’s getting dressed as I then put on my pjs – shorts & a top – he puts back on his tracksuit type outfit. We sit on my bed & I say I want some food. He suggests that we order something to be delivered, I agree & we go through uber eats for somewhere to eat. I feel like the hot dog again from the place I took him the day after the first night he slept over. He orders something different & I order mine, looking for my card to pay, when he pulls out his credit card & hands it over it me. I notice that it’s an Australian credit card, he must notice me looking at it because he says that his mum organised it for him before he got home – knowing he was going to be racing here & winning Australian dollars (he’s so confident about winning!). I do notice his name on the card – as I have to type it into the app as well, it’s the name he gave me, he’s not lied about that.

As we’re sitting there talking he starts playing with his phone, apologising saying that he just has to reply to some important emails. I don’t think anything of it, but just sit there organising dinner as we chat.

He talks about holiday we should go on – yes he’s talking about a fucking holiday with me, oddly he suggests Vancouver. I haven’t told him I lived in Canada, I mention it now of course, but I haven’t said that I have wanted to go there or anything… The reason why this is strange for me, is that his, whatever she is, wife or ex-wife lives there, according to my Facebook stalking. This isn’t the right time to bring her up or dig into his life, we talk about places we’ve travelled & where we want to go. As we wait for the dinner to be delivered, we go into the lounge room, I was thinking we’d stay in my bedroom, have dinner in bed but he suggests we go to the lounge room & so we do, I don’t think to suggest to watch tv in bed. We pick a movie, well he picks a movie, something again about racing cars or bikes & we watch that while eating dinner on the couch.

At the end of the movie, he makes a move, kissing me & we go into my bedroom again to have sex. The sex is the same as it is again, starting off with him on top shortly after kissing me, then me on all fours from behind, then once we’re done, we’ll have sex again, I suck his cock & then ride him. We don’t cuddle heaps after sex, but I don’t feel used by him. We lay around chatting, we do touch after we’ve had sex, it’s not so weird. We lay around for hours chatting naked in bed, having sex again, he talks about how much he likes my pillows – they’re new & cost me like $100 each! He’s at my house till 2:00 am, when I say something about going to sleep but he says that he needs to go so he gets up & gets dressed. As he’s leaving, at the door, he asks what I’m doing tomorrow night – well tonight & says that he’ll come over again tonight… Why doesn’t he just stay over?

#IBD4U

Motocross #10

Fucking hell, I can’t stop giggling thinking about the things Motocross says to me. I also can’t even believe we are on blog 10 & we’re only 10 days into this thing – 5 face to face dates in & we’re kind of exclusive already… How bloody invested are we all?! I know I am, but you all are too! Don’t deny it. Hahaha.

I get home from my long drive from Mt Gambier & reply “Good, cos this is how I am! Um, so I don’t mean to be rude & all because while you do have quite a large cock, it’s not quite the size of my bicycle… Nor is it difficult to get out of my car… I do prefer to ride your cock to my bike though! Awww, so you’re not going to sign anything for me?” I am oddly disappointed, why do I want this guy to sign me something? I guess his kept his name tag with my surname on it, I’ve kept mine too now because I’m some sort of idiot… So maybe him signing something for me will be like my little momento?!

FUCK!!!! Expiry people, expiry! For all I know this guy is able to separate the whole not fucking other people & going back to the USA, unlike me who is now overthinking this into a full blown relationship where I am going to move to the USA with him! OMG… CALM THE FUCK DOWN… Why do I get so attached? Do other people?! (I mean some of you must because you’re all addicted to this story already!)

He replies “haha good stay that way. Oh wow not rude fair point tho. Happy you prefer it over your bike looking forward to Sunday night then. Hahaha alright will work something out just for you” Awww, how sweet, he’s going to sign something for me! I tell him that I’ve been this way for almost 38 years, so won’t be changing any time soon. I also see the fucking snail as I pull into the driveway & say “Frank, the spider, masquerading as a snail said hey Motocross, as I got home today too” Fucking hell, I milk a joke for as long as I can! Hahaha. I tell him that I definitely prefer his cock to my bike as a bike seat just hurts my ass & that I’m looking forward to Sunday too. I then say “Oh really! Since you took my last name, I think it’s only fair you give me something, Mr Famous!” He says that it’s funny as that the snail remembered his name. He says that he’s not complaining & will try not to hurt my ass & since I asked nicely he’ll give me something.

I tell him “Yeah, he remembered you saving his life from me wanting to kill it…! I don’t mind my ass getting hurt a bit, just not by a bicycle seat! Yipee, I’m excited…! Something signed by Motocross #IBD4U Last Name, just for me!” I write his name as it was on the name tag, how hilarious seeing his name as my own… He doesn’t write back & I go about my evening now… It’s Friday night, he’s probably out at press stuff or having dinner with the other riders or something… Let’s just hope I haven’t scared him with my last name stuff… I mean I do want to get married some day, however the chances of that at 38 are getting slimmer & slimmer. However, I don’t want a guy to freak out thinking that’s all I want.

A couple of hours later, I am sitting inside by the heater, not having a rocking Friday night to be honest when I see a teeny tiny snail on my shoe! How fucking funny! I take a photo & send to Motocross saying “OMG Frank Jr was just on my shoe! (Weirdly inside after driving home)” Yeah how did a snail get on my fucking shoe?! He replies that it was just waiting for it’s mate.

I tell him about my irrational fear of spiders, even of pictures on my phone & stuff, how I sleep with a can of fly spray next to my bed after once there was a huntsman at the door of my bedroom & I couldn’t run past it – plus I have a can in the car after there were 2 huntsman’s in it in a week. I tell him that I am a weirdo! He doesn’t reply, it is almost 10:30 pm which would be 11:00pm for him in NSW, I am tired from the drive & I fall asleep, pretty content to be honest. I wish he was here, or I was where he is, but I am pretty happy… Fuck.

Motocross situationship

You know how things happen quickly for some people & they are engaged within a few months or whatever? Maybe that’s going to be like that for us, maybe not the engagement but the relationship happening fast? Or maybe I just need to hold up a bit & calm down… I mean it’s been 10 days!

The next day I go to the gym & don’t hear from him, it’s Saturday so he’s probably doing all the press stuff & bike store visit or whatever he said he had to do while away for racing. It’s almost 1:00 pm in the day when I finally hear back from him “Aww haha I promise there be no spider jokes you Shaw come well prepared with the fly spray tho. Lol weirdo nah maybe semi” I seriously love this guy’s spelling… Shaw = sure. He’s super cute, or really fucking annoying!? I bet it’s one of those things I find super cute now & in like a years’ time I will hate & want to strangle him for?! Hahaha… OMG – stop planning ahead so much!

I reply a couple of hours later “Yeah dude, if you want to live, do not send me spider related anything… I’m insane when it comes to that… Lucky I’m normal everywhere else in my life! How’s the press stuff going today?” He doesn’t write back till 9:30 pm, when I am out for a drink with a friend (remember being able to go out for drinks with friends… SIGH! Remember this is all end of July 2019.) “Alright just cause I wanna live for a bit longer. Glade your normal everywhere else. Yeah press day was good thanks feeling good for tomorrow now thanks. How was your day recovered from all your driving yet.” I write back saying that I want him to live a bit longer too & I don’t want to end up in jail. I wish him well for the race & tell him in order what I did for the day. But I don’t get a reply, it its 10:30 pm my time, so in NSW it’s 11:00 pm, I’m assuming he’s asleep again. I don’t think much of it & expect that he’ll text in the morning.

I wake up late to no message from Motocross & go about my whole day with nothing. Fuck, why does that upset me so much? I guess because it’s now Sunday, he was going to come over tonight. He hasn’t bailed on any plans yet, but you know what, this is my life after all so he’s probably going to bail on me. I go about my day, feeling hopeful but deflated. Oh no, why do I now think this is over because he hasn’t messaged me today? I could message him? & say what? I figure that he’s up early raced all day, not had his phone on him. He’ll message when he gets back to Adelaide?! If not, I’ll have a cry & forget the fucker!

My family aren’t coming over tonight, so I think I’ll have a bath. He’s mentioned last time we were together that he’ll be back in Adelaide around 8:00 pm, so I will just wait a bit longer to write him off! OMG, I have a problem! Hahaha.

I run a bath & as soon as I settle into it & just try to relax, I put something on the computer to watch & just zone out, with my phone next to me as always. I’m not even in the bath 2 minutes, when I see his little profile picture pop up on my watch & his name with a message “Hey I’m home well just landed actually what you up to” FUCK. I sit bolt upright, smiling like an idiot & write back. “I thought you weren’t home till later? I just got home myself & jumped in the bath…’ Why did I say that? Why did I say it like that too?! So accusatory! Must be because I’m sad he didn’t message all day. I mean he was fucking racing, get a grip – he’s messaged you now & asking what you’re doing. “Yeah correct racing got called off early track was to fast and too rough hospital couldn’t cope. Oh yeah nice well enjoy and I’ll see ya a bit later if you wAnt” Oh shit, now he thinks I don’t want to see him… “Well you can either join me in the bath or I can get out. I haven’t eaten yet either, assuming you haven’t…” I’m annoyed I’m in the bath to be honest… FUCK – I don’t want to waste the water… I guess I’ll see if he’s a bath man or not?! “Oh yeah bath sounds good . Nah not eating yet” Shit, I’ve only ever done this with two other men, I bathed a few times with Boyfriend when we had spas in a hotel but never just a bath like I had with Noodle… Max sort of climbed in my bath once but we didn’t really bath together… This is very intimate. Fuck… I jump out of the bath, unlock the front door, pack away the computer, put on some music & get back into the bath with my heart racing. “Alright, well I just unlocked the door, so you can let yourself in, if that’s ok? I’ll just relax…!” Shit, is this really happening?! “Alright done see you soon” FUCK! Yep it is…

Ok, so I’ll hear his car pull up, because it’s loud, I assume he’ll go to his parents’ house or will he just come here? I don’t know but fuck, now what do I do? I agonise over the play list for a while, making sure I’m listening to something I like but something he’ll like & then I just think who gives a fuck, I’m listening to heaps of Papa Roach & Linkin Park so just put on that type of list – if he doesn’t like it, then whatever.

Then as I sit in the bath to relax, I start freaking out… Like a fucking wanker trying to work out the best position that will stop me from looking so fat when he gets here. I don’t use bubble bath – fuck I curse that I don’t have bubbles right now. I hate bubbles, but right now, I want fucking bubbles. Baths aren’t flattering, I can’t suck in, I can’t hide my gut overhang (that I am so self-conscious of – when a guys is fucking you, they don’t notice your flaws but this isn’t about sex, this is just a bath! My flaws are exposed. So exposed.) So I’m trying out every possible position, I’ve got my legs out, my legs back in, I’m in a ball, I’m stretched out. FUCK my fat gut!!! He’s seen your fat gut #IBD4U, get over yourself, he’s fucked you naked, quite a few times now. He’s pretty much touched every inch of your body (except your clit)… He knows what you look like, if he didn’t like it, he wouldn’t keep fucking you nor would he have suggested coming over for a bath. Would he?

#IBD4U

Guest Blog : Mixed Bag – Ex Girlfriend & Henry

This is my first mixed bag guest blog. My guest blogs aren’t always long enough for a blog of their own – just as some of my stories aren’t long enough & so I created the mixed bag with some short stories. Here are a couple of short stories from 2 different guest bloggers .

Enjoy.

Ex-Girlfriend

So I went on a date with a guy my friend had previously dated. We msd beforehand and he asked if I could get any weed and we could have a joint. So I sourced some weed and we met up at a pub and had a drink. He asked if I wanted to go back to his place and have a joint… So we went back. I rolled it up and he mostly consumed the whole lot to himself, and it was a large joint! He sat chatting on the rug, when he got up to go to the fridge, next minute – bang he fainted and hit his head on the floor.

I was like, oh fuck, I asked if he was ok, he mumbled blergh leave me for a bit…. So I put a pillow under his head and waited… He had fallen asleep and he wasn’t getting up any time soon, so I decided to bail. It was now 1am. So I try to get out and I’m stuck. He lives in an secure city townhouse and I can’t find the button to release the gate! I sit and SOS to friends, but they are asleep. I go back in another hour later… His GIRLFRIEND comes to the gate and can see him through the glass panel on the door, and sees me and it looks like I have killed him! She starts screaming, he starts stirring and wakes a bit, and says – that’s my kinda ex girlfriend – hide, she is crazy!! So I run and hide behind a couch and wait… He stays on the floor, his phone is ringing (It’s her).

I wait about 30mins until I hadn’t heard her for a while, go to him and shake him awake. “YOU NEED TO LET ME OUT” He rose and stumbled to a panel which had the gate unlock mechanism, opened the door and said RUN!! SHE COULD BE HIDING. So I ran as fast as I could to my car, locked all the doors and then I just pissed myself laughing.

Just unbelievable. Worst date ever.

Mixed bag ex girlfriend

Henry

I meet Henry on Tinder and we match. I am chatting to a couple of guys at this time, but he and I get along and he suggests a date straight away. We swap numbers and I am pleased to get a “Good Morning” text each day, and lots later in the day to see how I am. It feels like he is messaging me when he is on his breaks at work. After the guys that I had met that showed no commitment it was great to finally feel like this guy is really showing an interest. We chat a lot via text – to the point the kids ask who I am talking to and we make a date to meet one night after work when the kids are having dinner with their dad. I was hoping for coffee or a drink but instead he suggests we meet at a local beach and go for a walk. I am waiting at the beach at the right time, starting to think I have chosen the wrong part of the waterfront when he finally arrives. He gets out of the car and after we have worked out that we are who we think each other is we sit down. We chat easily for over an hour and I am late for my one gym class a week because we are getting along so well.

We continue to chat via text message, he is messaging me each day to ask how I am and things are going to well I ask my parents to have my children while I meet him at the river for another “date”. I a waiting at the river in the car park at 1.30 when we have agreed to meet. At 1.50 I am still waiting and shoot of a text message asking if he is still coming. He replies to say he is on his way, another 15 minutes later he arrives. He gives no apology for being late (one of my pet hates – show some respect for my time!) and we make our way over to the other side of the river. A red flag had popped up when I joked via text that I thought maybe he had changed his mind. My sense of humour has always been to make a joke at my own expense and when I feel uncertain I joke hoping that my fears will be squashed. He had replied saying no, he had just had visitors turn up unexpectedly and he didn’t seem to get the joke. We sit on the other side of the river and chat, sitting on the ground on a picnic blanket gets a little uncomfortable. We have a pause when he asks if he can kiss me, he does and the kisses are nice. I want to keep kissing – I am loving the affection – but he says something about getting an erection and being embarrassed so we don’t kiss any more. We have a date lined up for a weeks time, the next night we are both taking our children to an event that comes to town. I am already overthinking how I am going to handle it if we run into each other.

When I am at the event, I send a message saying “Hey, haven’t seen you at the *** tonight” – he replies to say his plans had changed. In an attempt at humour I reply with “Oh, that’s ok, I thought maybe you were trying to avoid me!” with a face palm emoji. I am shocked by his response a minute later which reads “I don’t know what you are trying to insinuate but I don’t appreciate it”. I am shocked, and send another message telling him that I wasn’t trying to insinuate anything, and is he suggesting we shouldn’t see each other anymore? He replies saying he really wanted to have that conversation in person but yes. I reply saying I assume dinner is off then? He replies again with yes, I ask if I can call him, he says no. I try to call twice but he won’t answer.

The next morning, I receive a text message saying good morning and asking how I am. I regret it now but at the time I replied saying good morning and I am glad he had messaged me. That’s the last I heard from him… I saw him in the supermarket a few months later when I was with someone I had started to date. I tried to dodge him and not meet his eye! Looking back I think I dodged a bullet there!

I hate to say it, but dating doesn’t discriminate! Doesn’t matter who you are, there is always a douche canoe out there!

#IBD4U

Motocross #9

The next morning I am up at 4:00 am. I am not sure why I don’t text Motocross, I guess I’m hoping that he’ll wake up & say something sweet about having a safe drive to Mt Gambier being he gets up at 5:00 am for a bicycle ride according to him. I go to my meeting & by lunchtime, I still haven’t heard from him. I am tired as fuck. Having only gotten 4 hours sleep last night, which was totally worth it – The sex isn’t epic, but it’s good & definitely worth staying up for, but I am struggling already. I check into the hotel early having done the only thing I was here to do, I try to nap because I can barely keep my eyes open, I have some computer work to do but that can be done at any time really but now while I can I’m going to get into my gym clothes to go for a run around the blue lake, I always do that here, trying to beat my times.

I notice that I have hit 2741 steps on my watch & all I have done is sit in the car & go to a meeting, where I sat the entire time then then to the hotel. I sort of laugh being that Motocross & I talked about my step counter counting steps that I didn’t do. I send him a picture of my watch & say “Sat on my ass for 5 hours & got 2741 steps. #Winning. Have a safe flight today” He writes back shortly after “Haha that’s ridged actual. Yeah thanks good drive was it. You feeling tired” As there are no question marks, I can only assume that he’s trying to keep the conversation going by asking me questions, if he’s not, then too bad I am going to answer them anyway. “Yeah it’s fucked… I hit my 5000 steps last night when we were having sex apparently!? I’m in bed in the hotel, tried to nap but couldn’t. Gonna go for a run now the suns out then do some more work” I can almost tell then that he is going to reply with something cheeky. “Haha seriously wow had you working pretty hard last night then. Oh yeah okay well enjoy your run hope you beat your time then” I had told him that I try to beat my time every time I’m down here. He’s never been to the south east & did mention that he’d like to come one time, but obviously he’s flying to NSW today so he wasn’t able to come & I mean this trip was not planned, otherwise I would’ve driving up yesterday (which is what my boss wanted me to do at night, but I talked her into letting me drive up in the morning when it was light & not dusk with kangaroos – mainly because my vagina wanted sex, but also driving in the morning would be safer than driving at night!)

“Yeah, I’d done like 3000 steps when you got there, by the time you left, I’d hit 5000… I didn’t walk that much! Definitely got a workout though. Thanks gotta drag my ass out of bed first.” I almost can’t be bothered, I’d rather chat to him “Haha was a good workout tho correct, your welcome well if I was there your ass would definitely be staying in bed” with a poking out tongue winky face emoji. Oooh, I won’t deny that that that turns me on a little & I wish he was there, I’ve always had the little fantasy of having someone on a work trip with me. “#True. Was worth being fucking tired AF today… Hahaha, yeah don’t think I’d get out of bed if you were here either… This room has a spa too, might have one when I get back” Sometimes I get spa rooms at this hotel but it’s not like it’s an updated hotel. “Hahaha definitely always worth being fucking tired af. Nope we’d definitely be staying in bed. Oooh wow that’s a fancy room, you’ve got then enjoy wish I was there.Fuck I wish he was here too… Fuck where did that thought come from… I send him a picture of the spa, because it’s a beige colour & it’s ancient “Definitely not fancy! Dinosaurs walked the earth when this spa was installed! We probably should’ve skipped the movie & just had sex. I’m in my gym gear but procrastinating about going out to the lake.” I don’t get a reply straight away that I finally get in the car & go out to the Blue Lake to run around it. I sort of hate when men do that, they don’t reply when I am going to be the one to not reply to their last message!

I go for a run around the Lake about 2:15 pm, I do it in pretty much the same time as last time I was here, so I am happy with that. Considering how little sleep I’ve had, I’m surprised that I did it in the same time as last trip down here.

I get a response from him at almost 6:00 pm, assuming that he’s been on his flight to NSW “Ooh nah #True not fancy. Haha correct I think so. Hmmm yeah true we should’ve well Sunday night if your family doesn’t come over or your not busy we have to make up for lost time. Sooo how’d the procrastinating go any movement towards the lake” I love that he can’t spell simple things but was able to write procrastinating. I can’t help but smirk & swoon when I get a message from him… Fucking hell! I must remember that this is expiration dating, this guy is going to be nothing more than just a FWB of sorts, I must not get attached… But after a fucking week & a few days, I am attached!

I send him a picture of my legs in the bath – just a cheeky teaser, in the ancient spa “Was lots of space for someone to join me! My family leaves before 8 every Sunday, so I’ll be free by the time you get back… I went for a run, same time as before so not too disappointed in that. How was the flight? How’s your throat btw?” He sends me a reply about an hour & a half later, but I am already asleep – yes at 7:30 pm, I am asleep! “Hmmm that view. Teasing isn’t nice young lady. Oh yeah okay I’ll be cumin around then. Oh yeah nice work same time is better longer good effort. Yeah flight was good thanks had the row to myself which was good. Throats getting better thanks. Hope your enjoying your night” Oh, he called me young lady! Hahaha, I am actual 4 years older than him.

He uses a lot of emojis in his texts, that I don’t always explain, I use a lot more with him that I think I have ever used in my life too! But it’s that cheeky banter, that fun type of messaging that is intoxicating… I actually hate messaging this much because I know I get caught up in it & it won’t last like this forever. But at least this guy is seeing me as well as messaging me a lot. I guess in the future if we’re apart a lot, we’ll need to message, so it’s kind of good that we’ve got that part right.

Motocross Automatically smile

The next morning I reply to him, saying that teasing is fun, that I have to send pictures while away for work so he doesn’t forget me. I tell him that my family aren’t coming over at all on Sunday so he can come over as soon as he’s back. I dribble on about having the row to your self & his sore throat. I tell him that I am going to go for another run around the lake before I come home & to be honest, because I know he’ll ask or I’ll tell him later, I actually push myself a little harder so I am faster to be able to say that I beat my last time. I do beat yesterdays time by one minute. He writes back by the time I am back, showered & on the road home again.

“Oh yeah it’s heaps of fun.” With a head smacking emoji “Hahaha I’ve not forgotten who you Are silly. Oh yeah okay nice I’ll be straight over when I get back. Yeah a good feeling to stretch out on a plane for sure. Yeah it’s getting better thanks. Yeah awesome good luck beating your time then what time you leaving mt gambier today” I almost want to pull over & read it & reply, but I think that I need to make him wait, but I also need to wait too! I mean I can’t just text him back immediately all the time. When I do pull over for my toilet stop, I read it straight away but go do what I need to do before replying. “It’s fun for me! Look forward to Sunday night. I beat yesterdays time by a minute this morning but it wasn’t a PB. But I haven’t been running much lately so not surprised. Need to get out & do more. I left at 8:30, just in Keith atm. When do you race?” I get on the road, thinking he’ll take a while to reply but he writes back straight away. I can only read the pop up on my phone for a second & on half on my watch as I can’t touch that either probably when driving… Who knows. But when doing 110kms, you need to concentrate! “Haha of course it’s fun for you. Yeah me too. Oh yeah nice one well done that good you beat it tho. Oh yeah okays that’s a good drive then I race on Sunday press day tomorrow tho” I know that he’s competitive, obviously as a motocross/supercross racer & crusty demon, that he’ll appreciate the fact that I beat yesterdays time by one minute.

I write back “You don’t call me a cheeky shit for nothing” & that I was going to ride my bike but couldn’t be bothered getting it out of the car. I also ask what the hell a full day of press entails. “hahaha #correct I don’t it for nothing. Awww laziness much. So today I’ve got too meet and greets at the local bike shops sign some stuff and get some photos done. Press day tomorrow is ride the track and do interviews with the media.” It’s literally all one sentence that I read it a couple of times to understand what he’s even written to me. “I can’t help it… hahahaha. Will always be cheeky! You don’t understand what a fucking hassle it is to get back in the car… I still exercised. Ooooh are you gonna sign something for me Mr Famous?” I smile thinking about wanting him to sign something for me! “Haha I’m not complaining tho I do like it. Naah no idea but I bet id ask you to pull my dick out and ride it bet that’s not a hassle. Haha settle never said I was famous

As I am even writing this blog – reading our texts again, I am giggling & smirking at the banter, I hope you are too – it’s not usually my style to write all the text messages out verbatim so much like this, but it’s so cheeky, it’s so fun that I can’t help but giggle… Maybe it’s just me, but I hope that you are giggling too!

#IBD4U

Motocross #8

He’s cheeky, he’s super cute, he’s funny, we have banter & I am liking hanging out with Motocross more that I should at this point. But he’s not fucking anyone else but me… Why does that keep going through my head… I have turned off my online dating app, I haven’t deleted it, but I pause my account so people can’t add me, just as Writer suggested. But I also keep forgetting that there’s an expiry date with this guy, but as a contradiction, I also can’t help but think “What if there isn’t!?”

FUCK.

I also actually forgot to tell you that on the way home from Fasta Pasta on the Sunday date, I did ask Motocross what his last name was – it sort of came up in conversation when we were driving, something about the name tags from the play, so it was the right time to ask him, he told me, even though I already know what it is, of course – he didn’t hide anything, he just said it & that was that. I don’t think that he’s hiding things from me on purpose, I don’t want to push him to give me information he’s not ready to give – for whatever reason & then have him ask me for information that I’m not ready to give him either… It’s a catch 22. I want to know but I don’t want to tell.

So anyway, in the morning I write back to him & say that I can’t tell him the other things I like about him because then he’ll get a big head – with the hash tag true. I tell him that it’s ok that he asked if I’d swallow, I asked him for his ideas, I will be happy to swallow for him as long as I am still fucked & cum. He says #interesting & that he is obviously doing good then. Which makes me laugh, his hash tagging. (In real life he actually says the word hashtag now before he says interesting or correct or true now too because of how much shit I’ve been giving him) He says “Ooh haha yeah wasn’t sure how to approach the question. You’ll definitely be getting both of those” That’s why I asked him, I mean I get that he’s a little bit shy, the guy doesn’t seem overly affectionate, but that also could be because I’m so socially retarded when it comes to men, that I send off a no touch vibe. I tell him “Hahaha, besides your texting skills, Yes you’re doing alright… Or I wouldn’t still be talking to you!” I remind him that I am open to most things & he can ask me, even by text if it’s easier for him.

“Cheeky shit clearly texting isn’t my strong point. Wow alright okay guess I’ll take that. Clearly I figured that out. That’s fair enough well I’m honestly happy with how it is tbh but I’ll let you k is if I wanna try something” I tell him that I have to read his messages twice to work out the missing words – just as you probably have had to read twice & think I’m suddenly terrible at grammar & spelling, nope these are actual texts from him verbatim. I sort of ask or say that I must be doing ok too or he wouldn’t be talking to me, even if I do give him shit about his map reading skills. I tell him that I’m happy to receive feedback about what I can do better for him – thinking this might help me lead into the conversation about where my clit is & how he can use it to his advantage!

“haha Fark I’m sorry didn’t realise I was that bad. Well that’s correct I wouldn’t be I guess but no complaints here. True I don’t mind the banter tho. Oh I’m sure you’ll be receiving it. I was actually Jinnah hit you up last night tbh thought it anyways.WHAT?! Hahaha, I like this guy a lot & he makes me smile & giggle every time I get a text from him. I don’t know why but I say that he’s not that bad at texting & I can generally work it out. But I’ll give him shit about it anyway. “Bit like #True & #Correct & #Interesting… Oh & the map!!” I tell him that he could’ve come over last night after the gym if that’s what “jinnahmeans. We’re supposed to be catching up tonight for Mexican – I’ve made reservations & we’ve been texting all day, it’s past lunch & it’s been constant. He says that he can handle that & says “Your loving my # now ay” Bahaha, no I am not, I have started saying it too, like some sort of loser after a week of knowing this guy. He continues “Oh yeah interesting should’ve asked then just though you might have been to tired. Jinnah wtf meant to have said wanted to hit you up actually” Why didn’t he just ask me if I was free? Instead, I had to ask him out for tonight… Men are weirdos. But at least I know he wants to see me. I tell him that I keep saying his stupid catch phrases & that he should’ve asked to see me. “Hahaha that’s funny as you can’t stop saying it. Yeah right true I should’ve asked. Tonight tho yeah” I tell him that he can ask me another time & not just leave it up to me. I say yes to tonight & remind him that I have booked a table. “haha nah it’s not annoying it’s just funny I’m rubbing off on you in more then one way. Yep like tonight I’m keen for it. Yeah nice okay can’t wait” Did he think that he’s planned tonight & that he’s asked me out? I tell him that it is annoying & I just said true on the phone. He laughs at me & I don’t reply to his last message as it’s almost 5:00 pm, time to get home & ready for our date! It’s been a bit of an epic day at work to be honest, I have been asked to go to Mt Gambier tomorrow & I need to be there at 10:00 am, which means I have to get up at 4:00 am & drive down there. I race home, get changed & pack a bag. I am staying the night, last minute, I can’t/don’t want to change this date with Motocross or I won’t see him till next week, which kind of sucks. I will just push through it to be honest, I can drive down there with a red bull or two & go to bed early tomorrow night. I want sex & I want to see him! I also hate late minute bailing with a passion.

Motocross how will you ruin it

Motocross gets to my house at exactly 6:15 pm like he said he would, he knocks on the door & I let him in, he doesn’t kiss me hello when he walks in, which I think is weird at this point, so I start to get a bit weird too & don’t kiss him hello like I did the times before… Why wouldn’t he want to kiss me hello? At this point, it’s weird not to kiss me on the lips when you walk into my house?! Isn’t it? Again, it’s only Wednesday, a week since we first met face to face, maybe it’s not weird he hasn’t kissed me hello? But we’ve now had 4 dates in a week & texted constantly all day every day just about, surely it’s ok to kiss hello?!

He’s parked in the driveway, so he drives to the restaurant, which isn’t far away but I have to direct him to where it is. I honestly love driving in his car, it’s nice car! I want to drive it one day! It’s the type of car that people look at us in.

The booking is for 6:30 pm so we head straight to the local Mexican restaurant, he actually says that he still has a bit of a sore throat, which sucks for him. He is wearing a similar outfit to what he’s worn every time I’ve see him. We order dinner & he has a plain meal of a nachos, saying that he doesn’t eat this fancy that often, he usually has really simple meals in the USA. He doesn’t eat a lot to be honest & I ask if it is good or not, he says that it is, but I also wonder if it’s possibly corn chips & a sore throat – which is stopping him from eating a lot. To be honest, the conversation over dinner is strained, it’s not as easy flowing as it has been over text, there isn’t a lot of banter & it’s like he’s tired or not interested. I mean at one point, I’m talking about my steps on my watch & how driving gets my steps up & he doesn’t believe me that a bumpy road would give me my 5000 steps per day. I don’t know what it is but that is the conversation I remember vividly but I just remember feeling weird all evening because we weren’t talking. I have told him that I have to be on the road at the latest by 5:00 am tomorrow – maybe that’s it? Was he planning on staying over again!? I feel a little bit odd, tonight is a bit strange, I end up paying for the whole meal – he doesn’t offer to pay & we leave the restaurant. I assume that he’s going to just go home after this & not come in tonight, because it’s a bit of a head scratching evening, but he’s different in the car, there is a bit of a glimmer of the banter that I like about him.

As he pulls into my drive way, his headlights flash around & I see a giant black blob on the next door neighbours retaining wall & I can’t help but say “Ewww is that giant spider – you have to kill it” I am so arachnophobic it’s insane! I may have told you that I have smashed a phone when someone posted a bloody photo of one on Facebook once! He kind of laughs a little, getting out of the car, I’m glad it’s on his side, he uses his light on his phone & looks at it, he comes to the front of the car & says that it’s a snail, that he’s not going to kill it, his name is probably Frank or something. I literally burst out laughing, I love how he names things! It’s so funny!

He obviously comes inside, maybe I’m too quick to write things off, but it was a bit of an odd dinner, but we settle down on the couch with fucking Sharknado 2. What the actual fuck! It’s even worse than the first one, I mean her arm gets bitten off by a shark, in the sky when she’s sucked out of the plane window!? YES – that is an actual scene!

We’re only about 30 minutes in when Motocross makes a move & kisses me, thank god for that, because I didn’t think I could make a move on him after the weird dinner & I also can’t look away from this train wreck of a movie.

We go into the bedroom & have sex, pretty much the same way we’ve had sex every time so far. I am not worried about this yet, I mean how many times did Milky fuck me at the end of the bed with my legs in the air? I mean Milky even fucked Sweetie like that, some guys just have moves I guess. Motocross & I lay there afterwards for a little while, it’s nice to just lay there with him, it’s no longer awkward. I realise that I need affection as reassurance that everything is ok. The fact he doesn’t kiss me hello or hold my hand or touch me before we have sex makes me realise that yes it’s only been a short time but I also need that reassurance. Noodle used to kiss me as soon as he got in the car, he would have his hand on my leg as we drove wherever we were going, he’d find some way to show me that everything was ok between us… FUCK – I must not think about Noodle.

At 11:45 pm Motocross gets up to leave, he’s already told me he’ll let me sleep, I wasn’t planning on him staying this long. I don’t think he was planning on staying this long either, but it’s good that he did after the awkward dinner. I won’t be able to see him now till next week – we have no plans to catch up again, I’m away tomorrow at the crack of dawn, he flys out tomorrow too & isn’t back till Sunday. They say travelling for work is fun, but this sort of sucks that we both travel for work! I am away through the week & he’s away on the weekends… I wonder if this is going to work out?!

#IBD4U