Guest Blogger: Why I do what I do?

I have decided to be my own guest blogger today!

I get told a lot that I am very brave – maybe I am, maybe I’m just stupid! When other women write to me, they tell me that they couldn’t do what I do, I think why not? I’m nothing special. Some have even told me they have been writing their stories too, but aren’t brave enough to share them – even with me!

I was just like you once!

So I started writing… I wrote & wrote all my thoughts, as a diary (YES this is my diary, so please don’t judge the decisions I make!) Then when I was brave enough, I started posting. But the blog flopped because I wasn’t ready & I was too insecure about my dating life – my writing has also evolved as I have as a person since I started back in 2016. I felt so alone, like no one else would possibly be going through what I was. But I was very very wrong! So I started posting again & bam, almost 1000 followers in 6 months!!!

My aim has always been to empower women (& men), to realise they are not alone – you may feel it because we don’t often talk about this stuff with our coupled friends, but you are definitely not alone! Remember in my About Me, my first ever blog post I talk about how much I felt alone while dating in Adelaide, & even reading other blogs, I felt like my experiences were similar but I still felt alone.

I am sure that there are other women out there, whether you’re in Adelaide or somewhere else in the world, who will relate to the things that I go through on a daily basis, who may feel alone but I hope that this will open your eyes to the fact that you are not alone, there are others out there & even though you keep meeting “Retards in Tin Foil”, I still believe there is a “Knight in Shining Armour” out there for all of us.

I also discuss this in my Bonus Post – FAQ’s where I again want to help, I am doing this as a service.

I started writing because so many people told me too but I also felt a little alone in my dating life. Pretty much all of my friends have partners & the single ones don’t seem to have the same experiences I do. But I thought, I surely can’t be alone in this. So I started writing, then finally posting them & now the feedback I get is how relatable it is to people. So if I can make even one person not feel alone in their dating journey, then I feel successful.

One thing that concerns me, is why do you have so many taboo subjects when it comes to dating? I am into kinky stuff, why can’t I share that with my friends or even family? Isn’t it safer if the people closest to me know what I do in my spare time in case something happens? It’s sort of like a woman being pregnant, I watched my sister have multiple miscarriages early on in her pregnancies, but because of the risks & what society tells us to do, she didn’t tell anyone at work or close friends about the miscarriages & went through them alone or with only a little support… WHY? Why do we have to go through anything alone? Why can’t we start the conversation!

Guest post why I do what I do. Dating. Empower

I was, when I started writing (& I still am) scared about how honest my posts are, but I think you deserve to hear the truth – honest, brutal & sometimes very vulnerable… I know that there are some topics I discuss that some people don’t agree with. (There are plenty more coming too…) But I urge you, if you’re a women reading this, we should be building each other up, we have enough inequality in the world without bringing each other down. So when you see a post that you may not agree with, I will appreciate your support as you read my journey.

I don’t regret anything I have done, I mean I would definitely change some things if I had my time over, however I don’t need judgement, I can’t change the decisions I made at the time & remember they were right for me at the time. These decisions have led me to who I am today.

Remember also that these blogs that you are reading are not written in real time. I explain in Bonus Post – FAQ’s why that is. I want to be respectful to the man I am dating, but I also personally need time to reflect on what happened too…

I also get asked a lot how old these stories are. I don’t post as I am dating these guys, mainly because I want to live in the moment & enjoy it but also because I never know what might happen. Many of these stories are quite some time ago, some more recent, they aren’t in any particular order but I do try to keep the time line straight. Especially when posting multiple stories about a guy & when they intertwine with other stories (When I’m trying to juggle men). But rest assured, I do have enough stories over the last decade to keep this blog alive!

I am currently busily writing about the last few years plus still dating to ensure the survival of the blog & find my retard in tin foil but if I do say so myself, my life does get a little juicer as I get older. (They don’t call it dirty thirties for nothing!) So stay tuned, but read at your own risk of knowing too much about me!

I love all your kind words, I am so thankful that my passion project has been so successful to date… Including my erotica fiction!

If you know who I am, I am sorry, but I do always say read at your own risk – So clearly you’re intrigued by my life, or you wouldn’t still be reading! Hahaha. Enjoy!

But more importantly, I just want us all to start having those uncomfortable conversations with each other, lets empower each other as women (& as men) to be supportive, not trying to bring someone down…

#IBD4U

Max #5

Max continues his sexual torture on me, a drip here & a drip there… He again doesn’t really fuck me, but he fingers me so much so the bed is saturated. When he does want to fuck me, he rubs his hard cock on my clit to make me cum, then once I’ve cum, he fucks me. I am so sensitive that I cum very quickly. I am still tied up, on my X restraints, there is nothing I can do besides beg him to let me cum or beg him to stop.

When he’s finally done with me, I am so done, I pretty much curl up in a ball & fall asleep. I can’t move & I think if he touches my clit anymore I will literally cum within seconds. He sleeps over the night, it’s nice to have him there all night, however I do wake up all through the night just because someone is in my bed, I guess I wake him up too, because he wakes up to actually fuck me in the middle of the night.

In the morning, we have sex before we get up, however while his dick is actually in me, his phone rings. He has a distinctive ring tone for his wife, it’s a man voice, saying “warning, warning, it’s the wife calling” with a siren noise, so it’s undoubtedly her, when he picks it up answers, I am mortified. What the fuck is he doing? This is so fucking weird! But he gives me a cheeky grim & I kind of like it. He’s fucking me while on the phone to her. I hear her ask why he sounds weird & I contemplate making a lot of noise, but why the fuck is she ringing, she knows where he is…!

After we have sex, I make him coffee & it seems like it’s a normal every day occurrence to make him coffee & sit with him outside while he has a smoke. I get up & go inside then come back out when he grabs me, from behind, pushing me up against my outdoor table, pulling my tracksuit pants down, he starts to spank my ass… I whimper but I really enjoy it… (yes I know it’s not for everyone, but I’m loving it.) He spanks me so hard & for so long, but I am stubborn & will never tell him to stop. I am on the verge of telling him to stop though when he slips is cock in me from behind.052816 (23)We are fucking outdoors, this is probably the first time I’ve ever fucked in my backyard, when he pulls out a little to far & goes back into my ass, clearly not on purpose being his reaction later, but I don’t say anything, I assume he knows, surely my ass feels different. (as you may realise, I do get quite wet, so I don’t need lube for anal) & as long as it’s not surprise anal where the guy tries to go up your ass without any warning or prep work. I cum, but then he realises that he’s been in my ass, pulls out & says he has to go have a shower. I am literally still there bent over the outdoor table, wondering what the fuck just happened, when I see him in the bathroom. Clearly not an anal guy… That surprises me being the type of guy he is, in an open relationship & what not, but obviously not.

He gets out the shower & I get in, not showering with him being how he just left me. I feel so dirty & weird. He hangs out for a bit longer, which is good because if he left straight away, I don’t think we could’ve recovered. I feel like an idiot. Maybe he’s learning, I don’t know. But at least he stayed a bit to make me feel better. I mean he’s only the 4th dude to ever fuck my ass & he’s acting like it’s gross… I mean I quite enjoyed it. But whatever.

We continue to chat everyday as usual, he stops being as weird as he had been & finally stops blaming how busy he is, however I still don’t see him for a while again… Like a couple of weeks. For someone that was so keen to see me before, since the kayak thing, I barely even get sex once a week from him – no wonder I need other men. He knows I’m fucking other people, he encourages me to tell him about them too, but I’m also not 100% sure that guys really want to hear about your sex life with another guy. However we do talk about the fact I would like to have a 3sum with 2 guys – a MFM. Max, seems pretty keen having done one with Sweetie. I also tell him about a intruder fantasy that I’d like to try out, where i come home from something to find an intruder in my house, so he tells me to give him some keys & he’ll make it happen. Wow, I’m going to live out all my fantasy’s with this guy,

Max also joins a few groups on the chat app that I’m in  but seems to not be able to get into the banter with everyone. It shows me a different side of him to be honest, not a bad side but a more socially inept side that makes me realise why possibly he is the way he is when he is “busy” or when I am being needy or something. He doesn’t know how to deal with it, he works alone, has no colleagues, his wife doesn’t work so she has no colleagues. I don’t think they have a lot of friends either, even though they are into swinging, they seem to keep to themselves – or seem to play alone with their other person, rather than together. It becomes very evident & it makes him make a lot more sense to me now.

#IBD4U

Noodle

At this point in my dating life, I am fucking a few guys – maybe not all of them are regular, but they are on the books – so to speak. Max, Origin, Elvis & Milky… I am also chatting to multiple men, including Dom on a regular basis. I am a stone now, my heart is closed, with everything I have been through, am going through, I am not going to get feelings for another FWB, another fuck boy… Anyone… If I do die without ever being loved, then so be it… I am done. My biggest fear cannot rule my life anymore… I won’t let it. If the guys don’t want me for more than FWB, I am not going to be more than that for them. I do not want to find a boyfriend, I am so much more open sexually that I ever have been & I want to explore that with these men, I don’t think one can give me everything I want.

I don’t want monogamy, I want what each of these guys have to offer, something casual & fun, I’m sick of being hurt by guys… Guys that I am not even sure I like, I’m allowing to hurt me, what type of life is that? This is my time to shine! I will just be a bit more reserved than I have been in the past. The walls have gone up & they will stay there, I need a little less friend in the FWB & more of the benefits! My sex drive is through the roof & I need all these men (plus my rechargeable vibes) just to keep me satisfied at this point – since all of them seem to be “so busy” that they can’t fit me in to fuck me. I mean I am not asking for a lot from these guys, I never asked any of them to date me, I asked them to fuck me. I am not really looking for anyone else though, I think that these guys are enough right now, even though I don’t see any of them enough.052816 (18)On a work trip away – I’m a millions miles from everything, including decent internet in Elliston, I am bored as fuck around dinner time in this tiny town staying in a caravan park, when Sweetie (Max’s wife) says she’ll add me to a group chat she’s in, on the chat app. I thought why not, I had looked around the app before & had obviously seen the groups but wasn’t really sure about them, having used chat groups many, many years ago in the days of ICQ & MSN Messenger. I look through the members of the group & immediately one guy caught my eye, Noodle.

I started chatting in the group & got along with the people quickly, just general chit chat & fun. There are about 50 people in each group sometimes it gets so busy it’s hard to keep up. I get added to several groups & realise that Noodle is in all of them, well my chances of talking to him are increased – though my luck he’d probably be a north-sider who won’t travel or be fucking one of the hot women in the group already, married or even inactive, people join groups then delete the app but not their account.

But when Noodle finally comes online later that night, we have immediate banter together – I find myself enjoying the banter which hasn’t jumped to sexy talk & also I’m laughing constantly at my phone like a dickhead at just about everything he says. Most guys on this app disappear like all the others so I’m not holding out hope or even bothering to invest time in him. Plus there are rules in the groups where there is no PM (private message) without permission (remember Dom telling me this?!) – I’m certainly not going to ask anyone like a bloody fool. It’s brutal when guys ask & the woman says no. People get deleted from the groups for doing it too, I want to hang around so I am not going to be the douche PMing anyone. Yet I’m only in the group 2 or 3 days, when I am pleasantly surprised to find an unsolicited PM from Noodle waiting for me, so the banter continues privately too.

Now I’m ridiculous & I’ve said this many times before but I tend not to message men first because I don’t want to bother them if they aren’t interested – I probably need to work on that. When Noodle randomly tells me that he actually does the with women, because it shows him that they care about him, I joke around & say that we should take it in turns to be the first one to say hello everyday – I want to keep talking to him, (I’ve kept the conversation going by not replying to the last message at night & then reply in the morning so then there is no hello just a continuation of the conversation… Tricky…Hehehe…) So Noodle & I make this joke agreement about taking it in turns to say good morning every day, not at all expecting him to agree, but when he does, I feel a bit warm & fuzzy…

Surprisingly we follow it every day, taking it in turns to be the first one to say morning, every morning – even if we don’t officially say good night to each other. I even check sometimes when he hasn’t messaged me to see who started it the day before in case it was my turn – because I’m stubborn & refuse to message him if it’s his turn. I’m even more surprised that he follows our stupid agreement & never misses a day that is his turn to message me, considering how douchey he can be to people in the group – he’s very different with me in our private chat. We message every day via PM & we also chat in the groups too, which leads to a few people asking me (& probably asking him too) if we are fucking, because the chemistry between us is noticeable. Is it really? Wow. We don’t even make it obvious to others that we are chatting in PM, though I assume that everyone knows that we are. Though we are very flirty & I find myself screenshotting things he says in the groups like that when he says that I’m hot or that I’m sexy. I always send the blushing emoji back & say ‘Awww Thanks Noodle’ but secretly I am loving this attention.

After talking to Noodle for a while I don’t seem to realise that he is only ever online during work hours, goes offline for a few hours & then is back on again later at night. I never notice the pattern until Noodle mentions that he has a partner (A fiancé) that he calls his wife (she calls him husband) of 10 years & a 3 year old son. (Please note, I will call her his partner, but he always says ‘my wife’ whenever he talks about her.) My hopes of him being anything are dashed. I am not getting involved with a married man again. I am not going to meet this guy now. I am having trouble keeping up with what I have… I don’t want a boyfriend, I know that, but I also don’t want to be the other woman. I am already in a situation as the other woman, admittedly the wife knows about me, I mean its bad enough Noodle is on this chat app anyway. So I ask him why he doesn’t talk to his partner now about his unhappiness – I encourage him to talk to her but he says he’s not unhappy, just lonely & they have boring couple sex – she’s never cum with him… What the actual fuck! She’s never cum in 10 years?! He says yes, never in 10 years! That’s fucking ridiculous. How does that even happen, he says when she’s about to cum she hits him to make him get him off her because she feels likes he going to pee herself (Ok, as a squirter, I am 100% certain that she’s a fellow squirter… because that’s what it sort of feels like – I only do it when I’m comfortable with men, so Milky (once) & Max are the only ones to experience that so far. So I get the fear, but they’ve been together 10 years, surely she’s comfortable with Noodle by now?) Hmmm, well that sounds like a happy relationship! (NOT) I don’t believe he’s happy in the slightest but his self-esteem is so low that I don’t push it with him, I guess I don’t really know him that well. Or do I?

#IBD4U

Max #4

It’s weird, things are weird. Max doesn’t message me the next day, it’s the first day in almost 3 months that we haven’t chatted. I can’t even be bothered wondering why. It was weird with the kayak thing, he should’ve just told me. I mean even Sweetie should’ve told me. Funnily enough, Max & I never go kayaking ever again. I’m actually sad about that, it was kind of our thing, the thing we had that they didn’t. But he chose to make it weird.

He talks to me the next day just saying he was busy, (yeah whatever dude), he doesn’t really apologise & just makes it about him. It’s another week before I see him, I have been talking to Sweetie constantly, that we are even talking about going to Switch (the kink event monthly in Adelaide) together this Friday night. I don’t want him to come. I don’t want him at my house, so when he asks to see me, I suggest we get dinner out somewhere. He picks me up & we order fish & chips (well chips only with no chicken salt as he’s vegan) & sit on the beach. I ask him behind the safety of my sunglasses why he is being weird with me? He says that he’s dealing with some personal stuff, which he explains to me about the loss of a baby & it was the 10 year anniversary – he also explains that he almost lost Sweetie at the same time. Ok, that explains the weird behaviour, but fuck he didn’t need to ghost me for days & just say he was busy. I fucking hate when men say “I was busy” like they can’t pick up the phone to send a quick text… & also how insulting, like I wasn’t busy! I was just stupidly making time for him.Dating texting MaxI am going to Switch with some new friends from the chat app, I had already decided that I don’t want Max to come so I am being weird with him now, though I offer to pick Sweetie up from their house to stop him from coming to mine with her. I get to her house & she says she’s not ready & invites me in. I stand there awkwardly in the kitchen until Max walks into the room even more awkwardly & shakes my hand, saying hello. The kids are around so I know he’s not going to kiss me but fucking hell, this man has been inside me & he’s shaking my hand hello, pretending not to know me!? Bahaha.

We get back to my house & I have a message from him telling me how good he thinks I looked & that was awkward for him. I pay him out for shaking my hand. Both sweetie & I are wearing coresets to Switch. This is my first time at the kink event, I am excited but also a bit scared as I don’t know what to expect. This is also only the second time that I’ve met Sweetie too, however I feel closer to her right now than to Max. (This should probably be called Sweetie, not Max… Hahaha)

At switch we drink & dance the night away, watching some kinky stuff like spanking while someone is tied to a wooden X & some very different outfits, some nudity & rope tying. We’re sitting upstairs of the Mars Bar (Now no longer) when Sweetie starts to looks weird, like she’s going to vomit. She says she feels funny & I start to get worried, it’s almost like she’s about to faint, so I usher her out the side door where a bouncer lets us out. In the fresh air she perks up a bit, I suggest we head home in a cab right away but she’s not ok to get in a car, she says she thinks her corset might be too tight, so I loosen it off, get her some water & we sit outside the club while she regains her composure. We go home shortly after when she’s better. Max messages me to thank me for looking after her. Of course I would, she didn’t look good at all!

Max & I remain with this sporadic writing, we’ve lost this every day messaging that we were doing before. Which is probably a good thing, I don’t want to get attached to this guy…

It’s been ages since I saw Max, I’ve been away for work, would you know it but with Port Lincoln – I also stay in Tumby Bay with my family who happen to be over there for a family holiday. I have been semi fighting with Max all week about the fact I haven’t seen him, when Max tells me that he’s coming over Saturday night & he’s staying over. I tell him that he doesn’t have too, but he tells me not to tell him what to do, that he’ll do what he wants. I actually laugh out loud. This is just like my fantasy erotica, I actually like this assertiveness.

He comes over & it’s a little weird, it’s been just over a week since I saw him when he shook my hand & probably about 2 weeks since we last fucked. We chat for a while before he takes me into the bedroom, he has bought candles from the sex shop, this could be exciting… Max gets me naked then tells me to get moisturiser (What for? he snaps not to ask questions. Oooh that turns me on a bit!) & then lays me down tying each wrist to the bed, then each ankle. It’s darkish in my room with just candle light, I’ve got music playing, when he goes through my bedside table & finds a piece of material that is a blindfold, he runs the material up & down my skin making me shiver as he kisses where it’s just been. Fuck that is so hot! As he gets to my head, he kisses my lips then ties it over my eyes… Eek, this is also a first! How do I trust this guys so early on in our relationship? (If that is what you can call this!) I hear noises but have no idea what he is doing. I can’t even figure it out but he gets some toys out of my draw, a wartenberg pinwheel & runs it up & down my skin while I moan & pull against the restraints. He tells me to be quiet & I can’t help but call him names… I feel him get off the bed, I of course ask what he’s doing, but he tells me to shhh. I hear the lighter & smell the candle being lit… I brace myself. This is also a first. Wow, we’re having lots of first here tonight!

When the first drop of hot wax lands on my naked skin, I jump. It hurts a little, but it also feels good, within a second of the first drop, a drop of cold liquid follows right next to it. What is he doing? It takes me a second to realise he’s got the lotion he asked me for earlier, which I assumed would be for a massage. He continues to drop a hot drop of wax then a cold drop of lotion all the way down my body, down my leg then back up the other side, I squirm the whole time, biting my lip trying not to say anything but also whimpering the whole time… Why does pain feel so good?

#IBD4U

Erotica: Scene Five – Blindfold

My fiction erotica… If you follow my blog, surely by now, you can definitely tell why I was writing this?

Here are the other instalments to read again or for the first time… Scene one – Nipple Bells, Scene two – Wake Up Call , Scene Three – His Orgasm & Scene Four – The Wake Up Call.

Scene Five – Blindfold

I lay there feeling so sated but he hasn’t cum, so I know there is more in store for me.
“You never told me that you could squirt”
I go bright red, I am still covered in his now dry cum & also my own.
He touches my blushing cheek
“Don’t be ashamed of it, I love it. Knowing I turn you on so much. Fuck it’s sexy.”
I smile feeling reassured.
I love that he can read my emotions so well & does everything he can to make me feel at ease.
I trust him wholeheartedly.
Before my breathing is back to normal, he gets up off the bed.
I hear a draw open & close, I can’t move, I am so spent from my multiple hard orgasms.
Plus who even knows what time it is.
I feel my head dip a little where his knee hits the bed, he’s kneeling by my head & I open my mouth thinking he wants me to suck him.
One of his fingers rests on my chin & closes my mouth.
He puts something on my head & I realise he’s blindfolding me, as everything goes dark.
I wriggle in my restraints.
What does he have planned for me?

Erotica couples sex

I feel him retreat from the bed & I can hear noise but I can’t work out what he is doing.
Then I feel something tickle my foot, I twitch, I realise he has a feather as it runs up to my knee, making me squirm & moan.
“Do you like that baby?”
“Hmmm, yes sir!”
He runs the feather up my leg, over my belly, across my nipple then up my arm, where he moves to the other arm & comes down doing the exact same on my other side.
When he reaches my other foot, he takes the feather away, I lift my head to try & see but of course I am blindfolded so I listen intently for where he is.
All of a sudden it reappears at my hip, he runs it from side to side, across the top of my pubic hair.
I am quivering & squirming with every delicate touch.
When he lowers it between my folds, I jump & moan, I pull on my restraints.
Without warning he hits me across my belly with a flogger.
I hear the snapping on the tails hitting me as I squeal out, in pain, in ecstasy, in anticipation.
He hits me again across my breast, I arch my back & let out a moan.
I feel the feather still tickling my clit as the flogger comes down on my legs.
in quick succession, he hits all three places again, I keep pulling on my restraints, crying out louder each time.
He keeps the flogger quickly moving up & down from my belly to legs to nipples.
I don’t even notice that he is kneeling between my legs until his cock is at my entrance, dipping in & out while he flogs my breasts only.
I arch my back trying to take his cock in deeper
“Greedy Girl” he chuckles as I beg him to be deep inside me.
Suddenly he stops flogging me & I feel him undo the cuffs from the bed at my ankles.
With my legs straight in the air, he slides his cock deep within me, I cry out as I’m finally getting what I want.
He starts off with a slow rhythm, deep & long.
He builds up some speed holding onto my ankles wide by his face. My arms still restrained & my eyes still covered.
I bite my lip, he tells me how much he loves to see me bite my lip.
He spreads my legs wide, pulling his cock right out of me then slams in deep, draping himself over my body to kiss my lips, holding my legs out.
His cock pounds me over & over, relentlessly.
He doesn’t let me come up for air, his tongue invading my mouth.
Without even trying I am close to cumming trying to pull away from his mouth to get some air.
With only a few more strokes deep inside me, I cum on his cock, moaning in his mouth.
It doesn’t take long before he is riding my orgasm though to his own.
Finally he stops kissing me & I breathe hard trying to regain some normality.
Once we are both breathing almost normally, his cock still twitching in my pulsing pussy, he leans back over to sweetly kiss me, deep, long & with such passion, I realise then that I don’t ever want to kiss anyone else.
He slides the blindfold off my head, looking deep into my eyes, he rubs his nose back & forth on mine before he kisses me on the lips again.
As he pulls out of me, I suddenly feel empty.
He moves to undo both wrist cuffs from the bed & he pulls me against him with his strong arms around me, almost pinning my arms to me.
I know I am safe. I know I am home.
“Sleep now”
But I barely hear his words before I am asleep again.

#IBD4U

Guest Blogger: Why Pain Makes Us Horny

As I have been very vocal about the exploration of the kink world & my sex life, including talking about how much I enjoy pain, I have been looking around for some articles to share with you about why I do…

It’s definitely not for everyone, I get that. & I’m not asking you to try it, especially with just a random or inexperienced man/woman that your dating… If you do want to try, make sure you trust the person inexplicably before venturing into this, also lots of open communication!

I never thought it would be for me nor did I think I would want it, but somehow, I really enjoy it. The more I do it, the more I get out of it.

This article really makes me feel better & I hope it gives you more insight as we delve deeper into my kink scene!

Why Pain Makes Us Horny: The Process That Turns Pain Into Pleasure

“I enjoy getting my ass beaten until it bruises. It turns me on a lot.”

This statement isn’t strange in the kink community, but it can sound rather extreme for those who haven’t been initiated into the rituals and activities of BDSM.

“How can you enjoy being spanked like that? It hurts!”

Most masochists would answer something like, “I don’t know why. It just turns me on.”

Not content with this answer, I decided to look a little deeper into the mechanism that can turn pain into an orgasm.

The Mechanisms of Pain

Pain perception, also called nociception, is the mechanism that triggers a response to potentially harmful stimuli through the nervous system.

Pain can have three sources: chemical (like an acid burn), mechanical (like crushing or cutting) or thermal (hot and cold). Any of these three stimuli strong enough to activate the nociceptors (pain receptors) of the affected area will trigger the transmission of the stimuli to the brain. The reception and processing of the stimuli occurs in different areas. The brain then gives you an impulse to move or do something to avoid or stop the pain.

So, when you put your hand on a hot stove, the nerves in your skin send a message to your brain to tell it that it’s burning. Your brain screams “BURNING” and you remove your hand as a result. That’s generally how it works.

Pretty simple, right?

Except it isn’t.

Pain and Neurotransmitters

The way pain is processed by the brain also triggers other things in your body. Most importantly for our discussion, endorphins, serotonin, melatonin, epinephrin, and norepinephrine can all be released following a painful and/or stressful stimulus. These hormones act as an analgesic (painkiller) and stimulate the fight-or-flight response. So, when you get hurt, your brain makes its own Tylenol and gives you a boost of energy to fight your attacker or run away.

Remember how chemical cocktails influence our sexual and romantic behavior? By receiving pain, you are activating a lot of those same chemicals, especially serotonin and adrenaline. In other words, the same chemicals that turn you on when you’re sexually aroused flow into your body when you’re being hurt.

052816 (25)

How Do We Actually Get Pleasure from Pain?

If we follow this train of thought, applying painful stimuli the right way activates nice, floaty, pleasurable hormones in the brain. If the pain is applied gradually and for an extended period of time, you can get someone very high on endorphins. In the BDSM world, this is called “subspace.”

Here’s how it works, from my experience:

At first, the pain level is low: a nice flogging on the upper back usually gets me nicely started. It doesn’t hurt a lot, but there is a little sting. It feels a bit like pushing your body through a tough workout.

Then, when the intensity goes up, it can really hurt. It hurts to the point of cringing, even screaming. Somehow, it’s bearable, because you already have a little flow of endorphins going. When you’re tied up and can’t fight or flee, the rush of adrenaline is also quite a rush.

As this pain is administered, there’s a point at which I start resisting. This is when the adrenaline has kicked in. I start hissing, cursing at my top, kicking, trying to escape my bonds. (I like to be tied up when I get beaten). The pain rises to a peak, and so does my resistance.

Then, somehow, I give in. Once another burst of endorphins floods my brain, I relax into the pain, and it suddenly – and literally – turns into pleasure. My mind has found a new way to cope: by turning pain sensations into pleasure sensations I can withstand the “torture” longer.

Best of all: I get very, very horny.

Nobody is quite sure how pain can literally turn into sexual arousal. It may be one of the ways that the body interprets the sudden rush of endorphins because it is so similar to “typical” sexual arousal. What we do know, though, is that masochism is no longer considered pathological by the DSM (the bible of mental disorders), and that masochism that’s expressed in a healthy and sane way doesn’t require intervention.

If you find that, after exploring some kink, you’re definitely getting a kick out of being creatively hurt by kind sadists, there’s nothing wrong with you. Your body is reacting to what’s happening to you with hormones and chemicals that make you feel good.

You should enjoy every second of it.

The article link : https://www.kinkly.com/why-pain-makes-us-horny-the-process-that-turns-pain-into-pleasure/2/14117

#IBD4U

Elvis

A dude, Elvis, adds me on Facebook & I was like who the fuck is this? He’s super cute but looks young but I have no idea who he is, so I look at our mutual friends, we have my friend & her partner. Must be his friend? I ask my friend, while I’m at their house why she thinks he would add me on FB & she says because her partner thinks I am this sex feind & will be able to teach this young gun a thing or 2. Oh good…

Firstly why does her partner know about my sex life & second, who says I want to teach anybody anything? I’m more submissive than a dominant, I do like to switch but I don’t really want to have to teach someone how to be kinky – I mean I’m still pretty new at it myself.

I decide to add him because he is very cute but I know he’s young, he says he was “talked” into adding me, which is a hit to my ego! I try to end the conversation because I don’t want someone to have to be talked into getting to know me. But he says no, he added me because I seem like a fun chick to get to know, WTF does that mean? I ask & he says that it’s just boy talk. Yeah dude, that’s what worries me!

He says that he was asking if my friend had any single friends & my name came up so he asks me if I am happy. Well am I happy? I have decided that I do not want a relationship at the moment, I am so hurt from all this bullshit I’ve been through, that maybe a FWB is what I need.

He says that his friend told him that I am quite sexually active & experimentative (as if that’s even a word!) – Well I guess that is true! But he says he takes what his friend says with a grain of salt because boys do embellish when they talk. But he seems a bit shy & when I ask what my friends partner has said he tells me that he been told ‘that you may have some toys & like to use them with company, if you get what I mean?’ Yes I get what you mean & yes it’s true! Hahaha. I explain that I am still fairly new to kink really, in the scheme of things, like only 18 months or so that’s why I am now looking to explore more & not entirely ready to settle down with just 1 guy now.

He says that recently single out of about 7 years of relationships he now has lost his sexual mojo. I say that he just needs to get back out there. I went from having no sex or boring sex to the kinkiest sex I’ve ever had.

He agrees that he felt better in a relationship than when he was trying some casual sex, because you know the person’s body so well, it makes a difference than when you just fuck someone once. But I explain that I am never looking for an ONS. I want something more ongoing, it doesn’t have to be a relationship but I don’t want to just have another notch on my bedpost. We chat freely about sex a lot more. I don’t want to oversell myself. So I try to bring it back real life, maybe I’m really shit in bed, that’s why I’ve been single so long? I also am conscious that this is my friends boyfriends friend. I don’t want stuff getting back to him, so I try to reserve myself a little, but I also have this problem with oversharing. (hahaha, you’d never guess that would you? Writing a blog about my dating/sex life!)

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He tells me he hasn’t really done anything kinky. I tell him I’m usually the one tied up & he says that he loves that idea. I talk about how I like pain & what I am open to trying. I realise that he’s much younger than me, but of course he says that he’s always wanted to fuck an older woman & that it would be hot (As if he’s the first man to ever say that to me!)

I show him some toys that he’s never heard of like a warternberg pinwheel & a flogger which he kinda freaks out a little thinking when I meant toys, that I meant I only had vibrators, but he’s glad I’m open to more & am willing to discuss it with him. I talk to him about the open relationship with Max & how I talk more to Sweetie than him now, it’s also around the time that I tell him I am looking at threesomes & really opening myself up. That’s about when Elvis stops replying to my messages.

Unusual for me, I send him a message the next night asking if I scared him off, he says no it was exciting but doesn’t offer much so I say that I’ll think I overshared & that I’m sorry. He says that ‘it’s ok, only thing it did leave me wondering, how the fuck am I ever going to satisfy this woman’ I explain that’s why, at the moment, I have more than one guy on the go, because I’ve become too sexual & am not getting enough from any of the guys. He asks if I’ll take him on a project & be his sexy teacher.

I explain that sex fortnightly isn’t going to work for me or him leaving right after we’ve cum. He agrees that it might take him a while to get back into it, but he wants what I want too. We talk about sleepovers & aftercare, he jumps at this topic asking if kissing if ok. I mean I am not Vivian in Pretty Woman, I do like to be kissed & touched, I even say that he can spoon me, but that doesn’t mean we’ll have feelings for each other (Stupidly, been there, done that!) I say that I will care for my FWB (of course) but I won’t catch feelings for him – I’m done thinking I’m falling for FWB, however I will want to know more about him as we are going to be friends. He says that he wishes more women were like me.

He tells me that he’s terrified of another relationship as he’s just gotten out of something with a drug addict & he’s also gotten off the hard drugs recently himself. But for me the most important thing is that he keep his mouth shut to his friends about me. Kinda reminds me of that chick Coral in the movie Cocktail when she says:”too bad you couldn’t keep your mouth shut about our sex life…it only gets better!” If I do this with him & I hear that someone else knows, I will be furious! (But here I am now writing about it! Hahaha – Sorry dude!)

I explain that my hard limits include: animals, kids, degrading stuff, bloody play, fire play & scat (shit), he agrees with all of them though he says he’s not done much to even have a hard limit list, he’s also concerned that he won’t even like any kink, which is also ok. It’s not for everyone, I didn’t think I would ever be this open about my sex life.

I feel sorry for him when he says that he’s nervous about meeting me, I’m not trying to scare him, I’m just being open & honest about what I want. I mean with Milky I wasn’t & then we pretty much didn’t do much kinky stuff at all – I don’t want to make that mistake again! I ask if he’s the jealous type because I’m finding more & more guys are not ok with me fucking other guys, they say they want to hear about it & Elvis says he wants to hear about it, but in reality, I don’t think they do!

#IBD4U

Origin # 13

The last time I saw Origin, I forgot to mention about our conversation in the shower after we had sex, we were both standing in there, kissing & cuddling, washing each other when he starts having a bit of a D & M with me, writing numbers in the steam on the glass of all the women he’s been with. He tells me that I was the first chick that he slept with after the break up of his long relationship – well that explains why he never could (or didn’t want to) commit to me… He says that he hasn’t slept with that many women either, but that I was the most adventurous he’d ever been with & he really likes me. Awww, that’s so cute, that I melt while standing so vulnerable, naked, in the shower with him. But of course, remember he left that night, while I was disappointed, I don’t say anything to him.

We chat everyday via snapchat & text, working out that we should catch up next week. I am going out with a friend & suggest that he comes along. He declines to come to karaoke with us, but he offers to pick me up from the hotel & take me home. I jump at the chance, I am messaging him the whole night, while getting so legless that even for me, it’s ridiculous. I was chatting to some guy & their friends, drinking some sort of green drink (WTF? I only know this because of the pictures on my phone later) when Origin appears to take us home. He drops home my friend first then me…

I will tell you what happened, however I don’t remember ANY of it… This is all pieced together from talking to Origin afterwards & looking at my texts… FUCK! Origin & I go to my house & all I remember him not staying over. So at almost 2:00 am, as he’s probably still in my driveway, I text him “Thanks heaps Origin, I appreciate you staying over, it means a lot” How passive aggressive! Jesus… I’m surprised he even wrote back to that to be honest. “Dude” (That’s not a good start to a message from a guy) “You made me wait until like 12 to pick you up, I pick you up, I can’t even get a sentence out of you & then drop you & your friend home, I have to go to a family breky at 7, if you wanted me to stay or hang out longer you should have called me & said come get me, but it’s my fault? I don’t wanna argue talk toms xx night” DOUBLE FUCK! I reply – yeah good idea! (I feel you rolling your eyes with me right now) “I don’t want to argue either but you could’ve stayed…. It’s not your fault at all… but you left me feeling like a hooker… tonight was weird” FUCKING HELL, please stop texting while drunk!!! But he replies “Your right, sorry I thought u were heaps drunk & didn’t want a shower so I thought I would just leave. Certainly didn’t mean to have u feel like that. Agreed weird as write it off ok xx night.” Seriously, thank fuck I read it but fall asleep! Why oh why the fuck am I such an idiot when drunk… But why oh why doesn’t this guy never spend the night!

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The next morning, I wake up just before 10:00 am, feeling like shit, not only because I am supremely hung over but because even though I don’t remember what happened, I have this feeling something isn’t right, I fucked up last night… I read through the horrifying text messages… I know he’s been at breakfast with his family since 7:00 am but hasn’t text me, that he is not going too, I don’t blame him at all… So I swallow my pride & text him “Thanks heaps for dropping my friend off & picking me up. I appreciate it, truly. I didn’t realise I was so drunk that I couldn’t even talk?! I’m sorry for last night, everything I did or said or snapchatted. I hope you had a yummy breakfast this morning.” I don’t really expect him to reply either, I mean I was fucking insane. “Hahaha you’re a tripper you were blind. Meh it’s all good, yeah was sick thanks, talk soon you can make it up to me lols” I respond to him “Yeah I don’t remember much TBH… I have a bruise on my elbow. There are weird photos on my phone. I’m glad you’re still talking to me hahaha. I will make it up to you for sure.”

We eventually arrange to catch up the next weekend after my family dinner, but I end up texting him to bail as I’m not feeling well, my biggest pet hate is when people bail on me, so I apologise a lot, which he is ok with it & wishes me to get better. We decide to catch up a few nights later, I am out for dinner with friends, so text him on the way home & he says that he’s bailing on his friend to come over for a red & a movie.

We start to watch a movie that he chooses but it is so crap that we end up playing pool & talking about that infamous drunken evening. He tells me that I was biting him & when he asked me to stop I didn’t (WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK) & that I was trying to suck him off when he was driving up the expressway, he said that he tried to get me to shower with him before we went to bed, but apparently I wouldn’t get in the shower so he decided to leave… OMG I am mortified… Why must I ask like a douche when drunk!?

Anyway, we drink a lot of red wine before he makes a move. We go into my bed room & I get some condoms, when he asks if I like anal, I have only done it with 2 guys a couple of times who had much bigger cocks than him so I say yes we can do it. Unbeknown to me, Origin takes off the condom & slips his dick in from behind me, unbeknown to him, he is not fucking my ass… He’s sort of fucking my leg, sort of in me, but definitely not my ass. I cum from my own fingers, he cums, happily thinking he’s in my ass & that’s when I realise, he didn’t have the condom on. I ask him & he says that he took it off… Why do men do this without asking? FFS. I’m not on the pill at this point in my life so I have just had unprotected sex with this guy, who is jumping up & getting dressed, yet again not staying over! I’m quite drunk, how can this guy be driving home?

#IBD4U

Max #3

The next night after work Max wants to catch up to take the kayaks out, I’m surprised that he would want to or be allowed to do that activity with me, being that Sweetie wants to do it too. But it seems like he can, it’s a school night so he meets me at my house right after work. We take the kayaks out for a long time, until the sun is setting low in the sky. It’s actually really nice. We of course go back to my house to have sex after we’ve packed everything away. He stays at my house till quite late… but then leaves to go home to his wife. How does he get away with not going home to help with the kids? I don’t worry about that, they seem to have it worked out I guess. I must remember he’s married though, because as he left, I find myself annoyed that I am disappointed when he leaves, a bit like every time Origin left me late at night – brings up those feelings again.

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Max tells me that his wife wants to chat to me, I must say I am intrigued, more than I thought I would be, mainly to see if he’s been telling me the truth about the open relationship etc & about her. I mean he’s told me about the previous woman that they called his girlfriend & that he still talks to her but his wife no longer gets along with her. But that could also be some story. I also wonder if I do talk to her, what will we talk about? I am also suspicious, is it actually her or is it him with a fake account? Bit of an elaborate scheme – but I’ve thought this before about Notorious Sir, but who the fuck knows what people do in their spare time! Max is also a computer programmer, so he gets technology… Finally, after much internal debate, I allow Sweetie to message me & I know I have a guard up with her, I am suspicious of her intention of why she wants to talk to me, but as the days go on, I actually don’t mind chatting to her. I know it’s her too because she sends me a live pic which proves he does have a wife – not because I ask her to prove it, but she is showing me some picture of herself or something. I actually let my guard down more with him too, being that I now know he’s not full of shit.

Max chats to me daily, of course, him starting the texts with a good morning, you know me, I never text first… Especially with married men, Dom, Max & even Sweetie have to definitely text me first because I am not chasing them! He comes over one night after work for a couple of hours, it’s the first time we don’t have sex & I think WTF has happened here… Why didn’t he want to fuck me? Is he turned off by me somehow? Should I have made a move? I talk to him about it later when we’re texting because I can’t bring it up to his face & he says he doesn’t want me to think of him as just sex, he calls me his girlfriend… Ohhh, I’m not your girlfriend, but sure whatever you want to call me. I mean I’ve only seen him like 8 times in a month or two, is that really boyfriend/girlfriend quality? I don’t think so, but ok, whatever.

The next night we go kayaking again, I hope that Sweetie is ok with this. But I don’t bother asking her – nor do we ever talk about kayaking, she’s chatting to me most days too, so it seems to be going ok with her. This night we have sex again which is good. When I say sex, it’s really not traditional sex, he generally is fingering me to make me squirt or spanking me till I bruise, just with his hand, sometimes toys… He tells me that his hand hurts, I’m like poor baby, imagine my ass!

A few nights later he says he wants to see me, but his car is getting fixed so he can’t get to me & so I offer to pick him up from his office then drop him home later in the night. His office is only a few minutes from my house, so I don’t mind & I am intrigued to see where he works, is he neat & tidy? or messy? I am interested in seeing how he operates. Maybe it’ll give me some more insight, I mean he’s been to my house a lot, I live alone so my house generally looks like a show home (according to friends) most of the time because there is no one to mess it up – even I’m away for work so much that I am never home to mess it up. I walk into his office, my eyes quickly dart around the room, taking it all in, but I don’t notice anything other than the 2 kayaks lying on the floor with everything you need to kayak, lifejackets, paddles etc. WTF? Why didn’t he tell me he already had some? I feel like such a fuckwit now. He kind of gives me a cheeky grin & says he didn’t know how to tell me but Sweetie was so jealous we’d been out so many times together & she wanted to go, so they bought some off gumtree a little while ago. I tell him that he should’ve told me & remind him that I also suggested he could of borrowed mine at any time to take her out. This is weird as fuck. I feel like a fuck knuckle.

It’s weird, now things are weird… Why wouldn’t he just tell me? I feel so stupid, thinking that we had something special that he didn’t have with her, when now he’s had these kayaks for fuck knows how long! & been out with her fuck knows how many times… The next night after this revelation, I’m feeling stupid still, but Sweetie is messaging me to tell me that her date bailed on her & she’s really annoyed as it was her night out of the house. I get it, she’s got 4 kids, plus a young interloper staying with them & her husband has been seeing me while she’s stuck at home.

She tells me about how she met Max’s last ‘girlfriend’ that the same thing happened, a date bailed on her & she ended up at the girlfriends house & they sent a picture to Max of them together, but he didn’t know that Sweetie was going there. She mentions that she’s got nothing to do, so I suggest she comes over my house for a drink – I don’t want to see him, so if she’s at my house, he can’t just pop over… I just need to rip the band aid off & to be honest after the kayak thing, I’m thinking this isn’t going to last that long anyway, I’m still weirded out by that!

She comes over to my house with a bottle of wine, I’ve already started for some dutch courage. She’s different to her pictures, she’s actually cuter in real life. She’s shorter than me which surprising since I’m basically a midget & Max is like 6 foot tall or something. We sit outside since it’s summer (I have my new outdoor setting) & drink wine. I am so uncomfortable… I have no idea what we talk about, how long she is at my house or how much we drink, but I’m pretty sure that this is the weirdest thing I’ve ever done to fuck someone… – met their wife!

#IBD4U

Erotica: Scene Four – Wake Up Call

Erotica fiction is here! I hope you’re all enjoying my fiction, or am I out here on my own with this? Let me know…

So here is instalment 4 of the erotica series, don’t forget to look back over Scene one – Nipple Bells, Scene two – Wake Up Call & Scene Three – His Orgasm.

Scene Four – Wake Up Call

It takes me a minute to realise we are at a party, I’m wearing a long backless black dress that he has picked out for me.
I know it is so he can touch my lower back as he guides me around the party with a wine in the other hand.
Every touch sends a shiver up my spine, I love the manly way he guides me around the party introducing me to people he knows, just with a touch of his hand to my lower back.
I sip my wine feeling like the most beautiful woman in the world, on the arm of a disgustingly handsome dominant man.
“You look sensational tonight”
He whispers in my ear & I melt like a teenager at the school dance.
I don’t think I can get a bigger smile on my face but then he pulls me in close to his side & kisses my forehead.
He knows what to do to make me instantly wet, there is no better feeling than a man kissing your forehead & with 50 of his friends close by, I feel so special that he is willing to have a PDA with me.
As we stand there he runs his fingers up my arm, I tingle & I want him, I am wet & I want him badly, I reach up to touch his hair but then I can’t move it back down, something isn’t right, his arm keeps touching my arm, across my neck, then I feel kisses on my neck, I try to move but I can’t, somehow I’m restrained.
I feel my nipple being sucked, I can’t work out why he would suck my nipples at a formal party, it’s not that kind of party, is it?
I try to move again, but I realise I am fully restrained & wet, so wet for him. So turned on.
I feel him lick my clit, then suck on it hard, that’s when I jolt up.
All I can move is my head a few inches off the bed, I’m spread eagled, my leg cuffs are attached on either side of the bed, I’m wide open for him.
My arm cuffs are attached above my head too, I look down between my legs & our eyes meet as he continues to suck on my clit.
I moan, throwing my head back on the bed, I was having a dream he was making me wet & in reality who knows how long he’s been going down on me.
I also don’t know how or why I didn’t wake up while he was tying me up, probably because I was so spent.052816 (16)I don’t even know what time it is but I know it’s not morning.
He licks all the way from my ass to my clit with a long flat slow tongue, but when he gets to my clit he just flicks it around making me squirm.
“Hmmm, you taste so good” his hands pinch my nipples “I want you to cum in my mouth”
“Yes sir”
“Good girl”
He slides his arms under my legs then links his fingers together over my hips, to rest on my lower belly, holding me still.
His torture intensifies, long slow licks paired with flicks over my clit then a suck, then he licks again, flicking over my clit then another suck, he continues this pattern over & over, I arch my back as far as I can, I start to build up as he quickens his actions.
“Please sir, can I cum for you?” my whole body is shaking.
“Yes”
But somehow he doesn’t stop licking but his words are clear
“Cum now”
I do as I’m told, hard & fast into his mouth, he never stops & my orgasm rolls on, my legs shake, my breathing so rapid that its the only thing I can hear.
I wonder when he is going to stop, I am convulsing on the bed with ecstasy, but he just keeps licking, I’m afraid I won’t stop cumming.
He slows down a little & my body regains some equilibrium, but it’s not long before he is building up speed again & my body is only too happy to oblige him.
“Cum now”
Somehow on command my body does, I cum, writhing against my restraints, wanting him to stop but also wanting him to keep going.
“Stop Sir, I can’t cum again”
He smiles against my wet folds, I know that this was the wrong thing to say.
He nuzzles his nose into my clit then slides two fingers inside me.
He finds my G spot easily & starts stroking me on the inside.
“Please, fuuuucccckkkk”
It’s not long before I am close to cumming, this time I know I will squirt.
I try to wriggle away, I’ve always been self conscious of squirting.
Something only one other man has been able to make me do, besides myself & he acted like it was unusual.
“Now, cum now”
As if on command, my body does & I squirt, cumming hard against his hand inside me, his palm on my clit making gentle circles
“Good wake up call?”
“Oh… My… God… Sir…” I say in between breaths “You… are… amazing…”
“You. Are. Amazing.”

#IBD4U

Guest Blogger: The Wedding Cake

Here is a guest blogger who also has a blog!

The true romantic in me believes this story & hopes that it is as wonderful as it says it is, however the cynic in me thinks this story is a load of bollocks… Which one are you? Romantic or Cynic?

The Wedding Cake

After all, it’s easy to lose hope when you’re looking for love, isn’t it?

So many tales of betrayal, broken relationships, swiping left and right, dick pics and commitment phobic men (and women) out there in our culture. Sometimes it seems that people have become so interchangeable, so disposable, that it’s become acceptable to discard them without any warning in the cowardliest of the cowardly act of ‘ghosting’ (If we have a term for it, it must be a thing!).

It’s easy to lose hope, right? That good people are out there, looking for the same thing we are: to love and be loved in return – isn’t that the holy grail – or the wedding cake, if you will? But how do you believe in that when so many people lie about their intentions to get what they need?

When friend after friend tells you of their failed attempts to find what they’re looking for: a love so strong, that not even years and/or miles between two people can dull its lustre, that someone would choose them over all the other options they have out there, how can you not become cynical about love?

Recently I was talking to a friend of mine; a fairly busy woman, full-time single mum, upon full-time Italian teacher, upon part-time student who was seeking a moment of tranquillity in her otherwise hectic day at the park in front of the Arts Centre – you know the one?! She sat on a bench in front of a pond and took a deep breath of fresh air, feeling herself relax. She noticed that a man had sat down next to her, and turned to see an elderly, fairly short, weathered-looking man smiling at her. Now, this happens to her all the time, people tell her their stories without any encouragement from her – she has one of those faces – so she smiled back. He asked her, ‘Are you Italian?’ ‘Yes, I am’ she replied, ‘are you?‘ No, he explained, ‘I’m French, but in the war, I fought in Italy. While I was there I met an Italian woman and I never forgot her.’

A secret sucker for a love story (a closet romantic, but she’d be mortified if people knew), she asked him to tell her more. They met when he went to her village in Italy, and after the shortest time, they fell in love. He was mesmerised by her, and though they couldn’t understand each other well (a recipe for a happy relationship in my opinion) they felt like they had known each other forever.

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‘And then what happened?’ she enquired. ‘A friend had told me about Australia, I wanted to go there, and for her to marry me and come with me, but she was promised to another man by her parents. She said she could not come with me, it was not the right time.’ And so he left, unable to pass up the opportunity for a better life, settled in Melbourne and met his wife. They had children and he had a great life here, exactly as his friend had promised, but he confessed that from time to time he thought of his Italian girl. He always wondered what she was doing, but didn’t have any way of contacting her.

Oh, she thought, disappointed… but the story didn’t end there. Many years later, his wife died and, noticing that he was lonely, an Italian friend of his invited him to his home for his granddaughter’s birthday party. He could not believe his eyes when, at his friend’s house, he saw a woman who bore a striking resemblance his Italian girl!! He wasn’t sure that it was her, but he asked, not prepared to lose the chance again. They spoke at length of their lives; her husband had passed away also after they had come to Australia together. All this time, they had been in the same place, but had no way to contact each other! Somehow, fate had led them back to each other, and now they are together.

It’s easy to lose hope, right? But then you hear a story like this…

Here is her blog: https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/156817670/posts/60

#IBD4U

Milky #9

I don’t see Milky again for a while, I don’t make much effort with him to be honest, I am not feeling it with him. Something has changed, in me? In him? I don’t know, but I realise that what I felt for Milky was just lust. He was the first guy to keep seeing me on a regular basis & since I’ve had some regulars since him, I realise they weren’t feelings for him but more about my strong desire to be in a relationship & loved. It’s much easier this second time around to compartmentalise my feelings, they weren’t feelings, I was in love with that idea. Now with multiple men on the roster & having much better sex with some of them, I know that Milky will just be a friend, we’re very different people, I know I was changing myself to be with him because of my fear of dying alone. I must remember that just because a dude is single, it does not mean that they are the one for me.052816 (17)7 months into this weird relationship we seem to have, he asks me a few times to go to wineries or out with him, but I decline for whatever reason, I’m busy or don’t have any money… When he asks me if I want to go to the Fringe with him where there is a rope show, I think hell yeah. For those not in Adelaide, the fringe in a festival in March of every year where there are cabaret acts, comedy shows, music events and even dancing shows, it’s a great time to be in Adelaide, there’s a buzz around the city. When he tells me that Adelaide Peer Rope are doing a show & he wants to go, I get us tickets, I pick him up & drive to the venue. He knows a couple of people, but I of course I know no one but him. It’s weird that he doesn’t introduce me either, he just leaves me standing there awkwardly.

It’s not till we’re out at the event that I realise we are on a date. FUCK. Our first date. DOUBLE FUCK. Do I want to be dating this guy? Why is he blurring the lines? Does he want to date me? Or is he trying to give me what I wanted a year ago? Is this what I want though? I am seeing a couple of other guys, I am now even chatting to Origin again (WTF that’s a whole other story!), do I even like this guy? Did I even like this guy or was he just the first real FWB I ever had? I mean I had lots of guys say they were my FWB, but he was basically the first guy that I hung out with & fucked on a regular basis.

At the rope show I am thinking ‘what if I was here with another guy?’ literally any of the other guys I am seeing right now. I think that it would be less awkward. The conversation is harder with Milky now we’re out & not watching the TV, which is usually what we talk about. He doesn’t introduce me to the people he knows at the event, does he not know my name? or does he not want to be seen with me? He knows my name, he uses it in texts. So maybe he doesn’t want to be seen with me? Why did he even invite me here?

I am absolutely mesmerised by the rope show. It’s amazing, how quickly they get tied up & how intricate it is. It looks amazing. One of them are a couple & I love how it seems like he tickles her skin with the rope or kisses her on the cheek or forehead. I look over at Milky & know that this isn’t the guy who is going to be with me forever – or even the rest of this year – or maybe even month. I’ve been feeling it for a while as you know, but this evening confirms it. I mean it’s taken a year to get this guy on an actual date & even though he’s seen me naked 100 times. I feel so… what is the word? I don’t even know. Yes, I do… I feel so exposed.

We go home to his house that night, I stay over (of course! hahaha) We fuck, you guessed it, at the end of his bed with my legs in the air. What a surprise! Ironically this is very last time I ever fuck Milky, however the story with him is not over! Nor is it the last time I ever see him…

#IBD4U

Notorious Sir

On my quest for some extra kink, I meet this guy Notorious Sir, on you guessed it on the anonymous app. How does this keep happening?! We exchange chat app accounts & chat on there, as it’s a much easier interface, where I actually get chat notifications.

He tells me that he’s married (Oh seriously! FFS!! Where are all the single men?) & his wife has no sexual interest at all, they are not exactly in an open relationship, she knows he sees other women & that’s he has a mistress however she’s not entirely ok with it either – but because she won’t fuck him, she lets him do it. (What the fuck does that mean?!) This sounds too fucking complicated & why the hell does he need me if he has a Mistress? I guess she has a life too. Fucking hell I get myself in to some weird situations!

Anyway I keep chatting to him, for some fucked up reason dudes seem to make the effort to keep me conversing with them when they are married. Like I am not going to put in any effort with a married guy… What’s the point, they clearly don’t want to leave their wives if they’re allowed to fuck other women. I’m not 100% certain that I believe his story here, but I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. He does actually give me his Mistresses chat account & I chat to her too, she has a very hot ass in the profile picture that I also have to wonder what he wants with me too, however I am not certain it’s actually a chick, I can’t help but wonder that it’s just him pretending to be a mistress, perhaps?

He tells me that he’s very dominant & gives me tasks to do during the day, like show him my panties (I used to hate that word, but I’m getting more used to it) while I’m at work, or show him my cleavage while at work. I complete all my tame tasks, enjoying the little bit of kink from a Sir, that expect you to do things for them. But when Nortorious Sir tells me to write my address on a post it note & take a live picture of me with it, I ask why, he says do it. But I am apprehensive. However I am a little excited by this game, that I do it. This is probably the most excited I’ve been by a guy I haven’t met in a long time. I mean I am still talking to Dom sometimes when it suits him & he also asks in some ways for me to do tasks but not like this…

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One morning before work he tells me that he’s coming over, he wants me to unlock the door, bend over the kitchen table in just my panties & wait for him. I am turned on at the thought of such instructions. No guy that I am fucking right now is like this, nor are they turning me on so much just from the mere thought of them. I do as instructed, bending over my table & waiting, starting to feel excited, my heart pounding in my chest. This is going to be unreal.

I hear the door open & heart pounds harder, if that’s even possible… I wait for him to walk through the lounge room to find me in the dining room bent over the table in just panties at 7:00 am, like he instructed. He makes a grunting/hmmm sound when he sees me, I can tell I have pleased him. His rough manly tradie (He’s a plumber) hand caresses my exposed ass cheek from my lacy brazilian panties that I wear everyday & he says “Hmmm, very nice” he pulls me back up so I am leaning against his chest & he kisses me, it’s kinda sloppy & amateurish, maybe it’s the position. He rubs my butt & pulls my panties down, rolling on a condom, he’s inside me quickly. Lucky that there has been virtual foreplay, otherwise I would have just been dry fucked…

It’s weird, I’m not sure if his cock isn’t big enough for this position or what it is, but he can’t get it in me without it slipping out every couple of thrusts. So he pulls out, then his pants down, lying on the floor he tells me to ride him. We try that position but again, it doesn’t seem to work well for us. He gets up & pushes me against the wall, sloppy kisses follow as he presses me into the wall, raising my hands above my head (I do love it when guys do that), but I think that if those positions didn’t work, then fucking me against the wall isn’t going to work. But he pushes me to my knees & makes me suck his cock. Telling me that I’m a good girl (I used to hate that until Dom says it like every time we chat & when we talk, it’s growing on me more & more). Once he’s done, he stands me up, kisses me, says “that was worth it” & leaves without another word.

As the door shuts behind him, I’m standing there naked feeling like an actual fuck wit. “That was worth it?” WTF does that even mean? Was he being sarcastic? Or did he actually mean it? The build up to that was better than the sex. That was (& still remains) the worst sex of my life – Maybe this is why his wife doesn’t want to fuck him?! (OMG that’s SO mean, but maybe!) He messages me a hour or so later, but I am feeling so ridiculous that I try to ignore him. I can’t believe I just did that. He keeps messaging me then I snap, I unload & tell him how I feel about what happened this morning. He doesn’t understand that I felt used & dirty after he left. I hated it. Even though the sex was bad, it was more the way he left it. This is the first time I met this guy & that’s how he treats me… What about some aftercare dude?! (Aftercare in a dominant/submissive thing is basically where the Dom will spend time with the Sub making sure they are ok before the end a scene)

We end up fighting about it & it leads to his mistress blocking me on the chat app when I try to talk to her about it. I never see him again (big surprise) & over the next year he pops up in every group I’m in on the chat app, however as you will hear in stories to come, I did have a bit of influence over the chat app Adelaide groups for a while with admin duties & I ban him from every group, mainly to save other women from the worst sex of their lives with a douche too.

#IBD4U

Origin #12

Swiping left & right one day, minding my own business, not thinking about anyone that could come up (That’s where the mistake lies – when you stop thinking about someone… BOOM they appear!), so of course, that’s when Origin reappears. Oh Holy Fuck! What do I do? It’s been 8 months since we last spoke. Do I want to get into this again? I don’t know… If I swipe left, I may never know if he’s liked me or swipe right & have to wait to see if he swiped or I could also swipe right & match then have to decide if I say hi or not? I sit there staring at him for ages… What should I do? I close the app, yes, yes good idea, just close the app. Out of sight, out of mind… (Yeah right!)

A few days later, I’d forgotten about my swiping encounter with Origin so I open the app, swiping happily away when his fucking cute face with cheeky smile pops up again. Bloody hell! I shut down the app again, quickly, like he can see me or something if I have it open too long. One afternoon with my friend, we’re talking online dating, all my relationship friends are so interested to see what these apps are about, they want to swipe for me, but he comes up again, so I show her his profile & she bloody swipes right for me over my shoulder quickly & we match! FUCK… Now what do I do? I have to message him, don’t I? So I just say ‘hey’ trying to be nonchalant about the whole thing but then he replies & we start talking.

My Nanna had just passed away on valentines day, who I was relatively close with, we saw her every week for a family dinner. I don’t know why I tell him that, I guess I am desperate for a man. I mean Max was amazing the day she died & talks to me everyday, but it’s not the same, he’s married, I’m not a priority for him. I never will be. Origin says to let him know if I ever need a wine & a hug – yep I need one right about now. So we swap numbers again, he sends me a selfie straight away, then asks me to add me to his snapchat. I hate snapchat. I hardly ever use it & the conversation disappears so quickly. Plus given my past experience of jerking off videos & dick pictures, I try not to ever use this app. Also stupidly when I created the account, I used my real first & last name as my user name which can’t be changed. So since I realised that, I don’t ever give it out to anyone anymore.

Origin #12

It’s the day of my Nanna’s funeral, also its the next night after getting his number so I ask if the offer is still good for a wine & a hug because it’s been a difficult day, my friend has picked me up & taken me to a bar after it was all done, so I’m a bit drunk & my friend is taking me home at 10:00 pm, however I didn’t want to be alone & I could really could use an Origin hug but he says that he has to pick up his brother from a wedding, so he’s not free, I just say I hope he has a good night & I leave it at that. This was a pretty emotional day anyway, probably not a good idea to be really honest. I don’t cry a lot over anything & I definitely don’t cry in front of people.

He texts me the next day to see how I am, I say that I’m not doing that great & he offers to come over tonight to see me. I jump at the chance, wishing that I actually had a partner, because this has been harder than I want to admit to a random fuckboy. He brings wine & we sit chatting, I love that he asks about my Nanna & comforts me. We put on a shit movie but talk most of the way through it, he then asks me to move closer to him for that cuddle, I say “No, you move closer to me”, so he challenges me to a game of rock, paper, scissors. This time I agree to it – not like our first date, showing my fun side but I bloody lose, I offer best out of three but he laughs & just tells me to just move over on the couch. He cuddles me tightly & tells me that I smell good. As my head is against his chest, he can’t see me, a tear trickles down my eye… WTF! I never cry, it took me four days to cry over my Nanna & now I can’t stop! This safety of his arms around me when I am at my most vulnerable, means something to me… This guy wouldn’t bother coming to see me at this time if he wasn’t interested in me, this is a shit time in my life, a very personal time & it requires him to make sure he’s a decent guy… No one wants to be the asshole breaking someone’s heart when there’s a death in the family.

We kiss & cuddle on the couch having a few wines for a while, not actually watching the TV. When we have sex later that evening, it’s sweeter sex than we’ve had, I guess he knows that’s what I need. However, he still gets up to go home with some excuse that his dogs are inside.

#IBD4U

Erotica: Scene Three – His Orgasm

Again, here is my fiction erotica. By now if you’re reading my blog, you can see why my imagination was running wild & why this became my porn.

These are the two previous posts that you may want to read first if you haven’t already: Scene one – Nipple Bells & Scene Two – Eight Spanks

Scene Three – His Orgasm

My knees are weak, my legs wobble underneath my body & I fear I’m not going to be able to stand anymore.
His strong arms hold me as he walks around me, to stand in front of me.
He’s hard, having not cum at all, yet I’ve lost count on how many times he’s made me cum in what feels like 10 minutes.
He looks me up & down, he can tell I am tired but I don’t think that will stop him.
His face says it all, it’s like he can’t get enough of me, he looks at me like he doesn’t want anyone else, he looks at me with such desire that I feel a shiver up my spine.
He smiles, knowing what he does to me, I smile back, wondering how this man has such an effect on me.

Erotica #3

He runs his fingers from my shoulders down my arms, I turn my head to watch his fingers tickle my sensitive skin & his fingers lace with mine.
He steps backwards pulling me with him, when his legs hit the bed, he sits down, standing me between his knees.
He lets go of my hands & his rest at the back of my knees, before running up the back of my legs to my ass where he moans, a deep, primal groan that lets me know all I need to know.
He grabs my ass, pulling me to sit on his lap.
I bend my knees, resting my hands on his shoulders.
He feathers soft kisses down my neck, across my collar bone, his hands caresses my ass as I start to wriggle in his lap.
One hand slips between us & between my legs to move my lace panties aside.
As soon as his fingers touch my clit I jolt, its so sensitive & I don’t think I can last long.

He lifts my hips up & holds his cock at my entrance, I want to take all of him but he just teases me, wetting himself so he can slide in.
I moan, tilting my head back & his mouth finds my waiting nipple, which he bites.
As I yelp while he slides my hips down so I am full of his cock.
I am ready to move, I am ready to make him cum, I want him to cum with me this time.
I start to kneel up on my knees so I can feel him pull out of me, but he holds my hips still.
He takes my hands from his shoulder which were giving me leverage to move on his cock, to my ankles.
I whimper knowing his is locking each wrist cuff to my ankle cuffs.
With his hands holding my hips still, I have to lean back to stay balanced, he starts to kiss my neck, I moan, he works down to my nipple where he sucks & then moves over to the other nipple until is standing to attention for him.
“Please, I need to move, I am going to cum”
I feel him smile against my nipple
“Baby, you are going to cum… & cum… & cum no matter what” his deep voice sends a shiver down my spine, how does he effect me so much?
“Pllllleeeeaaassseee” I’m begging like a child, trying to gyrate my hips in his lap, his hard cock deep inside me still.
He doesn’t stop sucking my nipples.
“I want you to cum this way”
“Oh fuck, sir can I cum?”
He smiles but doesn’t stop sucking my nipples
“You may cum when you need too”
I start to try to rock on my hips but he won’t let me move
“Please I need to move”
“You will cum like this” I moan, even though I think it’s impossible without some friction, my body betrays me & starts to build.
My breathing intensifies, short bursts, I try to pull my nipples out of his way but he pulls me closer so that my whole breast is pushed in his face.
I try to move my hands but its pointless, all it does is lift my ankles & push me into his face.
He laughs, yet still has a nipple in his mouth, sucking it hard till it pops out his mouth with a sound.
He then sticks out his tongue and licks, quickly, up & down, making me huff & puff still completely unable to move but feeling every inch of him inside me.
I scream out with an orgasm that rips through me
“Fuuuuccckkkk”
“Ah thank fuck for that” he growls, without even knowing my hands are undone & I’m lying on the bed, still orgasming, my eyes going blurry…
He’s stoking his cock, hard, I know he’s close too, I can’t move I feel like I am still cumming
“Where do you want me to cum?” I moan, rolling my head from side to side
“Answer me” he snaps
“I want… I… want….” I can’t even get the words out, he can tell, so he rips open my corset
“Hold your tits together”
I do as I’m told having not being able to answer him about when I want him to cum
“Open your mouth too” I open it, poking out my tongue slightly for a taste of his cum
As his warm cum hits my breasts, some also reaches my mouth & I know he is pleased as I stick out my tongue to lick it off my chin, by the noises he’s making.
“Good Girl”
He’s smiling & I am done. I roll over on my side, he curls up behind me spooning me.
I’m still covered in his cum, I don’t want to wash it off, it’s like being branded by him.
I feel like nothing can get better than the evening I’ve just had.

#IBD4U

Guest Blogger: The Recipe

I love this concept. I was only just talking about this the other day, the fact I have done so many unsafe things in my dating life & how I have been so bloody lucky nothing terrible has happened to me! I am so thankful for that, however this is a great safety tool that all single people should adopt with their friends.

Code words!

The Recipe

Ladies… have you had dessert?

This question could be life-changing…

Yes, that rich, flourless chocolate cake COULD actually change your life, but have you asked a friend recently if they’ve had dessert?

After a recent spate of great and not-so-great Tinder/Bumble/pick up in a local bar dates, in one of our weekly dish sessions, my concerned friend expressed that she was worried that my sister or myself might find ourselves in a dangerous situation. Obviously we always tell each other our location, his name, photo, any random information about him that we have accumulated, but in this imaginary scenario, our usual “are you ok?” message might be met with aggression where we might be forced to reply ‘yes’, when in fact, we’re not ok. So we devised a plan…

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Have you had dessert?

A discreet and seemingly harmless question, sent approximately 30 minutes into a date, with a series of code responses:

*Yes, I had chocolate means the date is going very well!

*Yes, I had vanilla means it’s good, but a bit boring.

*Yes, I had pistachio means it’s ok, but I’m ready to go home.

All of the above answers indicate that we are all good. Unfortunately, for my sister, I like to mix and match, so she often receives ‘chocolatey vanilla’, or something completely different. Sometimes, when I forget the code, she gets things like “pancakes with blueberries”, because I actually had that. Or when it’s been really spectacular: “triple chocolate with whipped cream and extra chocolate chips with sprinkles”. Obviously, all men would love to be this one, but it’s reserved for a certain Canadian gentleman… well, they’re his words, but I fully endorse them

If things are not going well…

*No, I’m thinking of having a chocolate sundae means it’s not going well, but I’m ok.

*No, I’m thinking of having some rocky road (get it? The road is rocky?) means it’s getting worse, be on standby.

*No, I’m thinking of having a banana split (split… right?) means if I don’t contact you in the next 10 mins, call or come and get me.

*No, I’m thinking of having a banana split – DO YOU WANT ONE TOO? means get me out now.

And one that we will hopefully never have to use: No, tell Dad to get some donuts means call the police and tell them what’s happening.

We wrote this code laughing hysterically, as my son walked into the room asking ‘oh, are you guys getting dessert?’, but we realised that it’s not really a laughing matter. I mean, realistically, if something were really wrong, chances are we wouldn’t be using code, but it makes it a little more fun…

And let me be clear, this is not about sex… we can have a different one for that

So here I am, writing to you all, sharing stories so we can support each other through good dates, bad dates, heartbreak and excitement and of course, mind-blowing sex!!

I hope you’ll continue to read this and share it with your friends.

Stay tuned for more dating adventures…

To check out this blog: https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/156817670/posts/9

Just as you practice safe sex, please practice safe dating!

#IBD4U

Max #2

Back at my house that night, Max & I have a drink & he goes outside to smoke. We sit outside chatting, cuddling & kissing before we go into the bedroom & because I’ve shown him my X restraints on my bed, that I had just bought recently, this will be the first time I use them. I actually bought them with Milky in mind but he doesn’t seem to get kink at all. Max ties each limb to each point on the X & teases me with toys, he goes though my draws looking for things to play with.

I am not sure if I’ve ever shared this very intimate detail about myself, that I am in fact a squirter, I never realised it until the first time I had sex with Milky, (which also will show you how much my writing has evolved, my first Milky post I never talked about squirting), I squirted with Milky & he had to get a towel & made me feel weird about it, with Max I squirt too, however tonight, Max takes it to another level. For those who’ve ever watched porn & have seen porn stars squirt all over the place like their vagina has been filled with water, if you’re like me & thought it was fake… Guess again! Yeah, that’s not fake! That is real! Apparently I can spray squirt! Max loved it so much, yet I’m kind of mortified, tied up unable to move, he keeps fingering me till I do it again & again…. The bed is saturated & I am soaking wet too, as I am sure he is… Fuck how did he get me to do that?

Max #2

While we have sex, the sexual interaction with Max isn’t about him fucking me, but more about my pleasure & my enjoyment. He seems to get more enjoyment out of rubbing his cock on my clit & making my cum that way or sticking his fingers inside me to make me squirt than he does actually fucking me. While I’m not complaining, this is certainly the most exciting sex I’ve ever had, he also doesn’t cum a lot himself, most of the times we’ve been together, he’s not cum. He focuses on me. I wonder if that’s part of the reason I am enjoying him so much? Because he’s not just rubbing my clit for 5 seconds then sticking his dick in? Whatever it is, this is certainly the best sex of my life.

We talk a lot online but I don’t see him again for another week, I find out that he works for himself & his office literally 6 minutes from my house. I actually realise that I drive past it every single day on the way to my work. He decides that one night that he wants to come to the gym with me… It’s a small gym where he could have a trial week. I am running late coming home from work so we meet at my house but we kiss & cuddle a little that I just say to him did he want to skip it, but he says no. We race into the cardio class & we work out. It’s a tough class as always. He doesn’t stay over that night, which is fine, I don’t expect him to stay over that much, I mean he does have a wife & I don’t always sleep that well when I have a man in my bed. But of course, we have sex! Hahaha.

The next day on the way to work, my Mum calls me before 8:00 am, I know what this call is going to be… My Mum never calls me. I brace myself & answer the phone, she tells me the news I was dreading to hear. That my Nanna passed away this morning. I don’t cry, I can’t… My Nanna & I had a weird relationship, everyone says that we’re much alike in some ways & that’s why we always butted heads. We would see my Nanna every Sunday at her house for as long as I could remember, but since she went into the nursing home, it had moved to my house. I go to my first work meeting, in a bit of a daze but then ring my boss & say that I can’t work & will cancel my afternoon meetings & go home. I plan to be with my Mum & family, but I stay away. I am obviously chatting to Max & I tell him of this sad news, he asks where I am & I say that I’m at home… He rocks up to my house unannounced in the middle of the day with a bunch of flowers… That still doesn’t make me cry. I am not normal when it comes to crying. We sit on the couch most of the day just chatting or playing a joint game on our phones. It’s nice to just sit there & not think about this.

I talk to him every day, mainly because he makes an effort more than I do. He also asks me to chat to his wife, Sweetie. I do not want to talk to her, I am happy to pretend she & their kids don’t exist. He bugs me about it all the time, says she wants to talk to me. FUCK. This is not what I want… I don’t want to get caught up in the drama of this… It seems to be going quite well. Even though we chat all the time, I don’t see him for another week, which is a quick visit between getting home from work & my massage appointment. I don’t really have the time to see him, but my vagina thinking for me, makes the time… He comes over & we have a sexual interaction– sex with him is not penetrative but just him trying to make me squirt, which he does, EVERY. FUCKING. TIME.

#IBD4U

Bieber

I seem to start meeting more people on this anonymous chat app that is not for dating but just for social networking – mainly for teenagers, than I do on actual dating sites. However they are all so young, including a 20 year old guy who I nickname Bieber. He chats to me, I see it going nowhere because we are worlds apart, not just in age as I am in my mid 30’s, but he’s living with his mum (& we all know how that turned out! Refer to Batman). He works, I think as a mechanic apprentice but doesn’t really know what he wants to do. He obviously doesn’t have any assets, I’m not sure I had assets at 20 (actually I owned my car) I think he owns his motorbike but we don’t discuss his loan situation. I also don’t want children – which isn’t a big deal now & lots of younger guys say they don’t want kids either, but what happens in 10 years time when he’s 30, I’m 40 & can’t have kids plus I haven’t changed my mind but he has & then I’m single again but worse now, I’m in my 40’s! (Over thinker much? Yes! ) But I keep chatting to him anyway.

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He keeps talking about catching up with me but I am reluctant when I do the sums & realise that I am almost old enough to have a 20 year old child myself! Yep, that’s a red flag for me. A chick in my class in year 10 did get pregnant, so if I was her, this could be my son!? OMG…

He also tells me that he’s going to be 21 soon & that he wants me to come to his party. OH MI GAWD! No way am I going to go to this guys 21st & meet his family & friends. Imagine him introducing me to his mother & her being around the same age as me… I mean how embarrassing. I am not this type of women, I don’t think I can date a guy that much younger than me. I don’t think I can get serious about this guy…

He messages me all the time, I pretty much only reply because I am a loser wanting some attention, he gives it to me, without me having to give too much back… Yes I am chatting to a few guys right now but they have lives or wives so I don’t chat to them all the time but fucking hell this guy is young! I notice it with the references we both use or whenever I chat to Max or Milky – I notice the difference in the depth of the conversation.

I don’t even know how it happens but one night, I am typing out my address for this dude, this kid to come over. WTF. He’s 20… TWENTY. We decide on dinner so when he gets there, we order pizza… He looks so young, but like a young Tom Cruise – sort of – he’s taller than me (which isn’t hard to be honest, I’m 5’3), darker hair, skinnier than I usually like, nice eyes, very cute. Just the type of guy I would probably go for, if only he didn’t look like a deer in headlights.

He seems to be a bit lost on what to do, when we’re sitting on the couch & I get up to get him a drink, he gets up & follows me to the kitchen. Kind of cute, but also a bit weird… He tells me that I am much better than my pictures & that he thinks I look really good. I feel like he’s buttering me up & it’s fucking annoying that I lap up the attention like a dickhead.

We eat the pizza & watch movies, while cuddling on the couch. I snuggle into him, this is when i forget how young he is, he’s just a guy with his arms around me, I feel safe & next minute I actually fall asleep on his shoulder. It’s late when I wake up & I realise that he’s not going anywhere but I’m so tired, that I just ask him to go to bed. I show him my bedroom & go to the bathroom, . He’s standing awkwardly in my bedroom when I come back, I feel like I have to be the dominant one, so I just get changed & he slowly undresses while i get into bed. Then he quietly slides into the bed, I switch off the light & feel him slide up against me spooning me. Fuck it actually feels good, but we go to sleep.

We wake up in the morning, kissing a lot & then we’re naked quickly, with a 20 year old, I’m expecting it to be over quickly & me left grossly unsatisfied…. However This boy has stamina! He fucks me for a lot longer than I could ever imagine possible for a 20 year old & he makes me cum multiple times… This is very surprising! Even more surprising being he was so submissive the night before following me around like a puppy, that he is quite a dominant in bed, not kinky dominant, but a nice manly dominant!

We message a little bit after the date, however he disappears after I say hard no to his 21st yet again, I am so not going to that… I am not heart broken or upset, I barely notice it to be honest since I’m chatting to so many men right now, though I am at a point where I don’t want any more bloody one night stands. However this was never going anywhere anyway.

A few months later, I get a message from him which I plan to ignore but I accidentally click on it so it shows that I read it. He tells me that he’s been quiet because he’s been going through some stuff. I Just assume the stuff is other women, so I say he doesn’t owe me any explanation, but he responds telling me that he was out riding his motorbike with his best friend who was in an accident & died, he couldn’t do anything but he saw the whole thing & watched his friend die. OH HOLY FUCK. I say all the usual things that you do when someone has died & tell him not to worry about me, that he should focus on himself. A few months later he messages me again saying he wants to take me out for a proper date. I ignore the message. I have moved on & am with real men… Or am I?

#IBD4U

Port Lincoln

Swiping left & right while away for work, I come across a couple of guys who match with me in Port Lincoln – a town almost 8 hours from where I live in Adelaide. One writes back more, with more interesting comments so I focus on him. I let him know I am only in Pt Lincoln for a couple of days, so essentially letting him know I just want sex while here & I want it now, without actually saying to him that I just want to be fucked – that sends the wrong message to men usually. I’m a lady!

He offers for me to go over to his house, but I am cautious of that. I mean I am very far from home, I know no one here, I have no one to rescue me & no one knows where I am, should this guy be a lunatic… We arrange to meet for a wine at the marina instead. It’s a nice quiet crisp weeknight, he’s there when I arrive & I can tell who he is as he’s the only one in the place on his own & also he looks exactly like his pics.

The conversation flows really easily, I am not sure why we start talking about chicken eggs, probably because I am eating eggs every day at the moment but he tells me they are just a chickens period, well then! That’s a great topic for a first date. OMG what is wrong with this guy! However he is very intellectual – discussing all sorts of my usual off limits conversations topics like politics & religion that I feel a bit out of my depth with his conversation, I mean lighten up dude!

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We drink 2 glasses of wine at the marina, when I suggest that he come back to my hotel room, I have a little room which is quite nice with an outdoor entry, so we don’t have to walk through a reception or anything – which is mortifying doing that. He agrees & so he follows me back to the hotel even though I’m pretty sure he knew where it was. I don’t have anything to drink but water, so I offer him a glass, turn on the TV & sit on the couch with him. We don’t sit there for long, thank god before he leans over & kisses me. It’s really hot, he’s pretty good kisser… We move it to the bedroom area of the hotel room & he goes down on me, I am a bit worried because my period is just about to start – so I’m a little self concious & don’t think this is going to be very good because I don’t know how much I will relax. But fuck! He literally is the best head of my life, up until then at least. I don’t think I’ve ever had a guy go down on me long enough without sticking his fingers in to make me cum. That was amazing… Mind blown… Wow, just wow!

He asks me to suck his cock, which I do because not only do I like to do it but I also he’s just literally made me forget my own name. Wow… (Yeah I’m still going on about it! Hahaha…) I suck him for a bit then we put on a condom & have sex. The sex is ok, not quite as good as him going down on me, but still respectable. Just pretty normal sex, nothing out of the ordinary. He then asks me to suck his cock again, which isn’t as good with the taste of plastic from the condom lingering but it is still good, I really like doing it for some guys, he cums in my mouth (why is this a thing I let guys do now?)

We lay there sated, for a little while, not a long time, but we’re just chatting, easily before he gets up to go. It’s quite easy with him, that I am actually sad that he lives in Port Lincoln & not in Adelaide. But I think that perhaps next time I’m out here that I can catch up with him, kind of like a FWB in another town. He actually messages me on the app with his phone number shortly afterwards, so I send him a text the next morning & tell him that I couldn’t look at my eggs the same way this morning after what he said. We text a little, he tells me that he is moving back to Adelaide soon before he goes overseas, he was there with his wife that he split with, now he’s moving overseas. I go home to Adelaide a day later, but I wonder if I’m going to be able to see him again next time I’m in Port Lincoln or maybe when he’s in Adelaide?

#IBD4U

Erotica: Scene Two – Eight Spanks

For new readers, I started sharing some erotica fiction that I wrote. Not completely irrelevant to my blogs but not necessarily essential.

I hoped you enjoyed Scene One – Nipple Bells. You may have to read it first for this to make sense as they do flow on from one another…

Here is the second instalment… Enjoy!

Scene Two – Eight Spanks

He leans on me between my legs while I still have aftershocks of my orgasm running through me.
He releases one of the nipple clamps & lightly kisses the sensitive skin, he proceeds to do the same on my other nipple.
The release is bittersweet.
He reaches up to my hands & pulls them down from above my head, unclipping the clips on the cuffs to free my arms.
He rubs my shoulders & I feel so special that he takes the time to make sure I am ok.
He grabs my hands in his hand & pulls me to standing, my legs still spread with the spreader bar attached to my ankles.
I am weak from my orgasm & standing in heels with the bar, I stumble, but he catches me around the waist.
His hands run over my sensitive breasts, while he kisses my neck.
I lean my head back on his shoulder, loving his tender touch.
He whispers in my ear
“Bend over”

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I wonder how I am going to stand through what I think he’s going to do, he clips my wrist cuffs onto the bar between my legs.
His hand rubs my ass that’s poking in the air, I know what he’s planning, he’s going to spank me while I’m standing up.
“I want you to count the spanks out loud, so I can hear you”
“Yes Sir”
“Good girl”
He takes his hand away & I brace myself for the impact.
When it doesn’t come, I peer back to see what he is doing, then he spanks me.
It makes me unstable on my feet, but he holds me by the waist to steady me.
“One”
“Louder”
“One” I cry out
He rubs my other butt cheek & does the same, I brace myself but it’s only when he sees me relax that he spanks me
“Two”
He rubs my ass & in quick succession he hits me twice.
“Three, Four”
Then before I know it, his cock is deep inside me, but then out before I even get used to being full of his cock.
As his cock enters me again, quickly in & out, he spanks me, I let out a yelp
“Five”
He builds up speed, pulling his cock all the way out each time, then pounding into me, I can barely stay standing.
I feel like I am close to cumming again.
He spanks me with each thrust
“Six, I’m going to cum sir”
“You must ask permission”
He tortures me again
“Seven, please may I cum sir?” he groans & picks up the pace, that I am struggling to stay standing
“Please sir, can I cum for you?”
As he pounds into me, spanking my ass one last time he says
“Yes”
I scream “Eight” as if it’s the usual thing I say when I cum
He keeps pounding into me as I cum so hard on his cock, squeezing him as he pulls in & out of me.
As my orgasm starts to subside, he unclips my hands from the bar & unclips the bar from my legs, he stands me up but I am so weak, I can barely stand.
He pulls me upright against his chest, his hands on my breasts again, he leans into my ear
“I’m not done with you yet…”

Cold shower anyone?!

#IBD4U

Guest Blogger: 30 Things Women Want Men To Know

I read this via another Blog (https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/135700479/posts/1094) & I found it very interesting.

I disagree with number 2 personally, I’ve said this many times before. However the rest of these are very true for me too!

30 Things Women Want Men To Know

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I was really trying to avoid blogging about anything concerning sex but I guess it was highly inevitable. Today I am sharing those things most women wish men knew but simply don’t tell them. My personal thoughts are points 1-10 and 30 and the rest of the points are from the women I asked. Here’s hoping no one takes offence but maybe takes notes instead and make sex something both you and your partner enjoy.

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  1. It is not about the quantity but the quality of sex. Why are you trying to have 8 rounds of 2 minute sex?? One session of good sex is good enough and if you are doing things right and hitting the spot then by all means rest assured I am fine.
  2. Size does matter. For me that is, that motion for the ocean line doesn’t hold water. I am a big girl, I like big things.
  3. Sex in the dark? NO, switch on the light please I want to see what’s going on.
  4. If you have to ask “how was it” you know the sex was lousy.
  5. Do no keep asking me how it was; you are not ready for the truth.
  6. Just because the last woman you slept with liked anal sex does not mean the next woman does. Ask before trying to sneak your dick into my ass hole!
  7. I don’t fake orgasms, if I didn’t cum I didn’t cum, it is really that simple.
  8. Oral sex is a big turn on. Eat that pussy like it’s the cure for some life threatening disease! Note I said EAT not small little licks!
  9. Do not bite the clitoris! Just because it is shaped like a jelly bean it does not mean it was made for biting. That is a sensitive organ, be gentle.
  10. Don’t be lazy, put your back in it!
  11. Take off ALL your clothes. Why do you leave some clothes on? Socks, vest, take it off we want to see all your body parts.
  12. Screaming doesn’t mean we are enjoying it. It can mean one of three things. Maybe we just want to stroke your ego and make you think you are pumping us proper, we want you to stop or it’s actually painful. LOL
  13. We don’t always orgasm, but that’s okay. Do not make it a big deal because if you do we end up faking orgasms.
  14. Sex should not always be about a good fuck. Sometimes a woman wants some good old deep, delicious and slow love making.
  15. Change of scenery will definitely spice up the sex. The bedroom becomes boring. Sex in the shower anyone?
  16. We love surprises; introduce goodies like chocolate, strawberries, yoghurt, edible lingerie…
  17. Take a bath! Who do you want to climb on top of smelling like you were ploughing in a field all day?
  18. Sweat is a NO NO. Show up smelling divine and maybe a different cologne every now and again is a huge turn on.
  19. Do not be a selfish lover, wait for the woman to orgasm.
  20. Do not keep switching tempo. We do like variety BUT constantly changing tempo interrupts our flow. Worst time to switch is when we are about to orgasm. Do you have any idea what it takes to finally get an orgasm??? Do not tempt us to punch you in the face during sex!
  21. If a woman is not in the mood for sex she is not. No amount of parading in the room naked will change her mind.
  22. Foreplay is more than just sticking your fingers up her pussy.
  23. Enjoying sex does not make me a freak.
  24. Sex is meant to be fun.
  25. If you expect to get head you better wash up your dick properly!
  26. Women probably love sex more than men but our society has raised us in a way where showing that labels you a loose woman.
  27. Most women are shy to initiate sex but in her mind she has ripped off your clothes and done all sorts of unimaginable things!
  28. Women are horniest when they are on their period. Some actually don’t mind sex during that time of the month.
  29. You don’t know women like that. Just because your friend told you his woman liked this, it doesn’t mean I will like it.
  30. TALK, TALK, TALK! You must communicate during sex. That way you both say what you want. Laughing is even welcome when things go wrong. That’s the whole point of sex, to have a good time. Give specifics and help each other to enjoy amazing sex!

*Side Note – Remember to practice safe sex. If you have sex without any form of contraception, then you may be at risk of a pregnancy (as well as a sexually transmitted infections).

Here’s a link to their blog: https://makupsy.wordpress.com/2016/05/20/30-things-women-want-men-to-know/

Hope you all enjoyed!

#IBD4U

Max

I meet Max, online, on the anonymous app that I use when bored, again not really for dating or adults, but we chat a fair bit, he tells me that he’s married, pretty early on in the conversation actually – probably a bit too soon, at least I didn’t have to probe it out of him for a change like most married guys (Where are all the bloody single men?!) but this one has a new take on married life… He’s in an open relationship – Well that’s one I haven’t heard before, so I’ll give him credit for that at least. But I keep talking to him because he keeps making the effort.

We talk about a lot of things over the few weeks, when he says that him & his wife with another friend are going to Switch, a kinky event that I was still yet to attend as I didn’t have any friends that would want to go with me – but I did want to go. He kinda invites me but I decline as I don’t even know this guy, I really don’t think I want to meet his wife or his friend & him all in the same night, or his wife ever.

When things for the second time are rocky with Milky, I decide that I need another FWB so this could work maybe – in some weird way. I won’t be able to get attached to him, so it might work out being that I am fucking sick of bloody men dicking me around – this guy can’t do anything bad to me really. Can he? We talk about meeting & how I have been kayaking a lot recently, when he says that he wants to go with me. I suggest that we go out together one time, so that’s how he suggests we meet.

The weekend we’re supposed to meet, I go out drinking & dancing on a boat cruise, which docks fairly early & my friend drops me home. I’m tipsy & bored trying to find someone online to come over to fuck me – I’m horny & tipsy, what can I say? I’m chatting to a couple of people & Max – who I am meeting tomorrow around lunchtime for the first time for a kayak.

He tells me to unlock the door, stay in bed naked & wait for him. I say no instantly, but he keeps asking for my address & talking sexy… I have to admit I get a little excited, that I decide to do it. Next minute I’m typing out my address at 2:00 am to a compete stranger, thinking how can this guy just get up & leave his wife to fuck me but he says he’s on his way, so no time to think about that, so I need to unlock my front door, which I do & then I’m waiting for this guy to walk into my house while I get back into bed naked.

He seems to be taking his time, when I get a message asking what number house I live in, when I tell him, he realises he’s trying to open my neighbors door. He’s so fucking lucky that they didn’t wake up & call the cops. A dude lurking around the streets trying to open peoples front doors. Hahaha.

I’m lying in bed, watching TV waiting for him to rock up, I have amazing hearing so have been waiting to hear the door unlock, waiting to hear the screen door to close, I hear nothing & think this guy is taking his sweet ass time from next door, I even look at my phone again to see if he’s typing, when I see a weirdo in my doorway wearing a skeleton hoodie. I jump a fucking mile! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. I wouldn’t be surprised if I swore or made some weird squealing noise. Because I’m a little bit shaken, he comes over to my side of the bed to get in but I tell him to go to the other side, he says that I’m abrasive. But I mean this guy has just scared the shit out of me, I’m tipsy & not even sure what he really looks like in real life (he’s walked in with a skeleton covering his face!)

He’s pretty cute, I am attracted to him – well kinda too bad if I’m not, I guess, he’s climbing into my bed. We kiss, talk & cuddle & have sex before we fall asleep. In the morning we have sex again & because it’s good sex, I suggest that we just stay in bed, I don’t want to go kayaking anymore. I’d rather have good sex. It’s different than with Milky, it’s exciting again because it’s not just my legs in the air but he wants to go so he says we’ll go kayaking as we planned. We pack the kayaks up & head down to the river.

We kayak for a while when I realise that the tide is going out because we took so long to drag our asses out of bed. So we sit next to each other floating down the river & he kisses me or touches my leg all the time, just like he did when we were loading the kayaks, he constantly was touching me or finding a way to kiss me without it being too weird. I find myself enjoying the affection to be honest, Milky isn’t affectionate at all really, I mean even his aftercare when he spanks me is lacking somewhat, I am quite surprised from my research of the kink world & what Doms should do after they do any sort of impact play. I’m not much of an affectionate person, but Max literally acts like he’s interested in me, being cheeky & always finding a way or reason to touch me. It’s probably a real first. I mean Boyfriend sort of did that but it’s been a while since I had this type of affection.

When we finish kayaking & he tells me that his wife Sweetie (Her nickname on the chat app), will be really upset that we went kayaking because she really wants to go. Didn’t he tell her where he was going with me? I’m also like why would you tell me that? I don’t want to piss her off – especially since I am enjoying the time with her husband, I suggest that he can borrow my kayaks anytime to take her out.

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He messages me everyday after our first meet & within a week he says that he wants to see me, right now & that he’s coming over. It’s late on a Sunday night after my family has left for the night. We just cuddle on the couch, he’s in his batman pyjamas but of course we have sex – it’s me after all…. Lets face it! It’s nice just to hang with him, he doesn’t sleep over but I enjoy the time we spent just chilling & talking.

I ask him if he wants to go to the movies with me to see Fifty Shades of grey – I had bought tickets & the date was looming & I had no one to take that wanted to see it, this was perfect as I knew it would probably make me horny! He says yes & that he’d take me out for dinner too – like a proper date. I book a table our for dinner & he tells me that he’s vegan. Does that mean I need to eat vegan too? I ask if it’s ok if I order chicken, he says yes but I get the feeling it’s not ok & I feel bad the whole meal, wishing I ordered at least a vegetarian option. Again he’s affectionate, tickling my leg or playing footsies with me, we hold hands while walking to the cinema, that I actually forget that I am on a date with a married guy. It’s been so long since I had an proper date, which feels more like a few months in date, not a few weeks in date. I can’t even remember when I have felt so special on a date… After like a year hanging with Milky & watching TV, this is really really good. He’s picked me up, driven me here. I don’t think I’ve watched a single TV show with Max! When he came over to hang out the TV was on, but we never actually watched it.

We watch the movie with his hand on my leg the whole time. I feel awkward, but somehow it also feels so natural, this is so strange. He’s got a wife & 4 kids! As if I could forget though, he brings her up quite a bit. It’s a good reality check to be honest, not sure if its his way of keeping me at an emotional distance or if he just doesn’t have anyone else to talk about. But at this point anyway, I am so closed off to the prospect of a relationship, so he’s got nothing to worry about. He comes back to stay at my house that night, it’s pre planned that he’s staying over so Sweetie knows of course, but she messages him a few times during the night & also calls him just as we get back to my house, for something frivolous, nothing that couldn’t wait. I mean she knows where he is, what he’s doing, who he’s with, so why would she call if she’s ok with him spending the night?

#IBD4U

Milky #8

I send Milky a text with a picture of some new bed restraints that I have just bought in the last few weeks, it’s like an X that goes on the top of my mattress but loops around under the mattress. I have used them with another guy (stories to come!) & hope that Milky will use with me too! He doesn’t seem to even care that much, just says that he doesn’t take much notice of what’s under my sheets. Well, they’re only new & he hasn’t been over my house, so he wouldn’t have seen them last time he was there. But I do expect that he would have something more to say than the fact that he didn’t notice them last time he was at my house. It takes the wind out of my sails with him a little bit & I am now kind of a bit reluctant to show him in real life. Also I’m reluctant to want to talk about kink with him, this is like the 3rd time that he’s talked about kink with me but never done anything.

I am still constantly talking to Dom, who seems more excited than Milky, when Milky actually has a chance to use them with me. It kinda makes me wonder if this guy is kinky at all. I do more kinky things with Dom & I’ve never even met the guy. He tells me when I can cum & when I must wait, what to call him & orders me to do things throughout the day… This is what I want with Milky.

Interestingly during that conversation Milky says that he takes notice of women’s bed heights, because he likes too fuck at the end of the bed (oh really dude, never would have guessed?!) & that with some chicks he’s had to put a pillow under their ass to be the right height… Really? So it’s not just me that gets this position? WOW. I get that everyone has their positions they like the best, but I just think that’s hilarious that he has to tell me that he likes that position.

While we’re messaging, I ask him to come over, He can’t because his car is fucked apparently & he has to borrow his dad’s car just to get to work. He never actually asked me to his place, so I didn’t offer that up either – assuming he didn’t want to see me. So we just message most of the night. We talk about dick pics again, I tell him that I’ve never fucked a guy who’s ever sent me an unsolicited dick pic, but for some reason, at that time, I was keeping them all in my phone (I don’t know why!) & I’ve also never asked for a dick pic either, I don’t find dicks very attractive – especially from a random guy. I mean I would send pics eventually to a guy but I don’t think that a random cock shot is very attractive. We also talk about a joke of me being used as a piece of furniture – furniture fetish – which yeah I know it a bit weird, even by my standards but it’s a bit of a joke we have. He tells me to pick my top 5 fetishes that I want ticked off & he’ll do them next weekend with me. Will he really? I don’t believe him… I don’t think he’ll will to be honest. I mean so far, every time I’ve asked him to do something, he hasn’t. But I guess we’re more open & honest now.

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The next time I see him, we watch tv, drink wine as usual. I think that this is just going to be the same old night as always. He moves over to kiss me on the couch & we actually have sex on the couch for a change, I am hanging off it by the time we are done… My should hurting, but like the mix up that I am ignoring the pain. Then he actually ties my wrists to the pool table (sorry to my late Pa!), bends me over it, fucking me from behind & then whipping me with a flogger… That’s super fun & I love the fact he’s being more kinky with me. OMG, seriously love this, it’s so weird, who likes pain!? Yep me! I don’t let him tie my ankles to the pool table, he just ties my wrists, like I have said before, I am not 100% ready to be completely tied down yet, I am still really new to this rope thing, I think I will get there but right now I want to build that trust since this is technically the first time I’ve ever been tied up and I do have a bit of claustrophobia.

I am out on a date with Offroad which isn’t going very well, so I message Milky to see what he is doing tonight, I tell my date that I have friends party to get too & have to make a cheese plate, so I best go. Milky comes over to my house, what do you think we do? OMG you guessed it, we watch TV (Admittedly he gets me onto a TV show called The In-betweeners, which is fucking gold. I even laughed in Milky’s mouth once while we were watching it while kissing – whoops) but we fuck like usual, he doesn’t really try to do anything new or be kinky much at all. He spanks my ass a little when he fucks me from behind, but it’s nothing new. He also showers like seconds after fucking me, making me feel a bit dirt or something. Kinda reminds me of that guy Miranda fucks in Sex & the city who showers because he’s religious. Cleansing his sins, or something. Milky does that but never used to shower so incessantly the first time we started seeing each other, maybe this time he feels more comfortable? I don’t know what it is, but it’s a bit weird. Maybe it’s normal & I just haven’t had a FWB who stays over etc as much as he does?!

The next morning, we have sex & we get up, he hangs around & decides to fix my chairs – he had offered ages ago saying that he’s pretty handy & his friends get him to help them build stuff all the time. He has to pull them apart, removing the staples & fixes them, then puts them back together. I literally could not be less interested in what he is doing & lie on the couch watching TV the whole time. He stays till about 3:00 pm which is the longest we’ve been together. It was a bit coupley, him going to my shed to get tools while I literally lay there all day wondering if he’ll leave or why he is so intent on fixing my furniture…

#IBD4U

Offroad

I met this guy online, he didn’t have a profile picture up, so I never saw his face & I wasn’t sure what he looked like, but I thought I would try something new to meet men & maybe meet someone that I didn’t like the look of, or even know what they looked like. Who knows where it could lead right? I apparently need to branch out.

But after talking to this guy a while he sent me pictures of his face, he wasn’t entirely my type but I thought that I would give him a go because we did get along quite well online, so I thought, maybe I just need to go for men that I am not as attracted too… I mean when I go for men that I am attracted to they end up being a douche, Origin/Milky case in point!

We plan to meet & I am a bit unsure about meeting him knowing he is a bit older & from his pictures he actually looks older than he really is. I decide that a drink is the best option because I am not that keen & I can gauge how it will be with him & if I want to see him again.

I arrange to meet him at the newly renovated pub where I actually met Origin for the first time, it’s the easiest nicest place around me. Offroad was fine with that, even though I think it’s closer to me!

When he arrived I was already there, I hate being the first one there but then again I hate having to walk around the pub trying to find the person you’re supposed to be on a date with, especially if they look nothing like their pictures. I don’t want to walk in the pub, look around then sit somewhere else while they’re sitting a few tables away & I didn’t recognise them! How embarrassing. Anyway he arrives & comes to the table I’m sitting at. It’s a square smallish table, (this may not seem important, but wait! Hahaha.) I’m sitting at one side of the table, as you do, right. He offers to get me a drink, I tell him what I want & wait for him to come back. I assess the outfit as he walks off, it’s a spring afternoon, so he’s casual, wearing a baseball cap, harry high pants which are light blue jeans that are kind of baggy so he has a belt on that gathers the waist, a pinkish polo shift that’s tucked in so the belt is exposed & his collar is popped… Yeah… You know the type, right… So not the type of guy I like the look of.

I decide not to judge his outfit, even though I despise it. We do get along well online so lets give him a chance before I write him off, clothes can be changed if we get into a relationship, anyway. But when he returns with our drinks, he sits down in his chair, moving it so his own legs are straddling one of the legs of the table & so he’s half sharing my side of the square table & half using his – basically, the corner of the table is poking him in the gut. He sits with his head in his hand, his elbow resting on the table, not taking his eyes off me the whole time, sitting so ridiculously close, it’s so intense that I am weirded out. I don’t know if I should get up & sit on the opposite side of the table but then we’ll be face to face & might be weirder. We talk a lot but he the conversation is very intense about my work & I am conscious not to go into work mode. I start getting concerned how I am going to get out of this afternoon date & stop it from leading into the night.

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I go to the bathroom & message Milky to come over tonight. He’s used me to get out of a date, maybe I can use him to get out of this one. Milky agrees to come over about 6 or 7, so at least I won’t’ be sitting by myself tonight. Now what do I say to Offroad? So I go back to the table & I start dropping hints that I have a friends house to go to later tonight & I have to make a cheese platter. (WTF?) He seems genuinely disappointed but asks me millions of questions about the cheese I’m taking, about my friends & what the function is that I’m going too. Oh my god, does he not believe me? (Well he has every reason not to trust me, I am lying to him right now, but fuck, I don’t know this guy! Take the hint!)

It’s harder than I thought to lie to him, because he keeps trying to get another drink or keep the conversation going, even though I’ve said a few times I better get going. I am petrified about what might happen when he walks me to the car, but luckily I think the vibe I am giving off, he leans into kiss my cheek & hug me goodbye. I know now that I am 100% not interested in this guy.

A few days later, I get messages from him, I try to ignore them because I hate that conversation & surely he got the drift. However he starts to send me cock shots & jerking off videos that I am even more turned off by him. I don’t mind a cheeky nudie picture or two with a guy I am interested in, but there is nothing more disrespectful than a guy constantly sending you his cock when you haven’t even seen it in real life!

I get rid of him by telling him I’m not interested, but over the months that follow I often get a cock shot or a jerking video. I mean I haven’t spoken to him at all for weeks & he’s sending me pictures & videos. The easiest way to ignore is not to read the messages he sends! Sometimes that doesn’t stop them but in this case, eventually he got the message!

#IBD4U

Erotica: Scene One – Nipple Bells

So you may remember me telling you that as I journeyed into a kink world, I had already read Fifty Shades of Grey, I then read a real life S&M introduction book, then entering this world with men I was seeing, exploring some kinks, my writers imagination ran away with me… Over the course of about a week or two I wrote 12 ‘scenes’ that were pure imagination at the time & I posted them online. I wrote these with no man in particular in mind (So they’re not written about any one I have posted about), but I know that this is the type of man I would want.

While these have no real relevance to the actual blog stories, I do reference them so I thought it only fair to share with you here, these were also the very first pieces of writing that I ever published, however I have written a lot of stuff in my life… Maybe I should’ve always been a writer?!

Anyway, for the next 12 weeks, I will post on Thursday a scene from my erotica imagination… These are unedited from the original post, except for any spelling or grammatical errors I missed (which is kind of annoying, because as I read & I can see where I can elaborate! Maybe I will add to the story in the future…)

I hope you enjoy & stick with me – I’m interested to hear your thoughts too!

Scene One – Nipple Bells

Sitting in my corset, mask & skyscraper heels, he tells me to sit on the edge of the bed & strap my ankle cuffs on.
I start to fumble getting them on, he tells me to hurry up, he will count to 5 & I must have them on.
My breath starts to quicken & I fumble more as he counts, deep, loud, masculine numbers.
I click the last padlock just as he says 5, he smiles
“Good Girl”
He tells me to do the same with the wrist cuffs, which are harder to put on yourself, he tells me he’s not a patient man & starts to count again.
I don’t know what these cuffs attach too but I know he’ll have something amazing planned for me.
He pulls out a bar, which has 4 clips on it, 2 at each end & 2 in the middle.
He tells me to attach the clips to my ankle cuffs.
Again I fumble with the excitement, I can feel how wet I am getting just from the thought of what he will do to me once I am restrained.
He tells me to lie back on the bed and to dig the heels of my shoes into the bed, bending my knees up & spreading them.
He clips my cuffs on my wrists together & puts them above my head
“Do not move them. Understand?” I nod.
He just stares at me though his mask, our eyes meeting for the longest time.
He moves suddenly & pulls down the cups of my corset, exposing each breast.
My nipples jump to attention, under his gaze & tender touch.
But then he clips a nipple clamp on one, I am caught by surprise & yelp, arching my back as I do, I hear a little bell ring.
He caresses my other nipple & attaches another clamp to it.
“Every time I hear these bells ring, I will spank you”
His deep voice filled with promise, it sends a shiver down my spine & the bells jingle.

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“One”
I bite my lip already knowing how difficult this is going to be for me, a beginner, but I want to please him.
He moves to the end of the bed, standing between my open legs, I hear a click & a buzz then I feel the pulsating vibrations on my clit though my panties.
I wriggle again without even thinking & the bells jingle
“Two” I let out a moan, I’m not sure if because of the vibrator or the anticipation of him spanking me afterwards.

He stands over me, staring as I take in the pleasure & pain.
He starts undressing himself, he’s standing there stroking his cock
“Do you know how hot you look like that?”
I can barely get any words out, as I’m trying not to move because of the bells but also because of the vibrator that’s teasing me.
He reaches down quickly, pulling my lace panties to the side, clicking the vibrator to another setting & resting it back on my clit.
I wriggle again, arching my back
“Three”
I let out an almighty moan
“You must ask permission to cum”
I want to ask permission but I also want this pleasure to go on, however I also don’t want to make those bells ring again. Or do I?
My body starts building & I know I’m close to cumming.
“I need to cum”

“Is that how you ask?”
I bite my lip trying to control the urge.
“Please Sir, may I cum?”
“Good girl”
I know he is pleased, but that wasn’t permission to cum, I must beg
“Please Sir, please, please Sir, I need to cum”
“Hmmmm”
‘”Please sir, let me cum for you”
My body starts shaking & the bells ring
“Four”
“Pleeeeessssseeee”
“Five” The bells jingle again
“Six”
“Fuck, please Sir, let me cum” I wriggle one more time
“Seven”
My body starts to shake
“You may cum”
& I do, hard, fast, shaking all over, shoes digging into the bed, legs spread, eyes closed, back arched
“Eight”
I know the bells are jingling but I can’t even care about that, my eyes are blurry & my orgasm is taking over.
It takes a minute for my body to stop moving from that orgasm
“Good girl, now I will spank you eight times…”

#IBD4U

Guest Blogger: The Impossible Situation #2

I’ve been interested in this story to see where it went & I was interested in your feedback… Thank you She-Wolf for letting me share your blog! I love that I am not alone with crazy dating stories…

Remember that this is like her diary, she can’t (just like me) change what she did.

Update on The Impossible Situation

Predictably- it ended.

I can’t say that it ended well. I can’t say that I don’t have regret for how it happened, or how we both behaved, but it was for the best.

He and I had been growing apart.

The person I had to be in order to be with him was far removed from the me I wanted to be; that I’d fought to become. I didn’t love having to support a family that wasn’t mine (because he “couldn’t” work, and that left the responsibility to me). I hated having no time to myself. I loathed always having to be on because I had to be responsible. It pissed me off that a thirty-something year old man was still attached to his umbilical cord, and was the worst mama’s boy I’ve ever encountered.

The experience taught me that- while I loved his children for who they are and how much joy they brought to me- I’m not meant to love someone else’s children. I am not cut out for parenting at all. I don’t have the patience. I don’t have the desire deep in my soul to give myself up to be the world for a tiny little love terrorist that needs me endlessly. I’m selfish; I love sleeping in and going shopping and having the freedom to do what I want, when I want…. and I’m totally ok with that. Plus- my cat hated the kids; to the extent that she’d crap on their bed in protest of their presence.

The other big turning point for me- apart from not wanting to be an insta-Mum- was reconnecting with “The One That Got Away”. Naturally, our conversation flowed easily, and we could tell each other everything. I confided my misgivings about my situation; including but not limited to the emotional and financial manipulation the impossible situation imposed on me, how it affected my health- both physical and mental- and how much I was hating life in general.

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After the girl in “Green Eyed Monster” disappeared, he and I became closer again. I even arranged to go away for the weekend of his birthday, so I could get away from my own life and spend time with him. You’ll get to read all about this in another post, I promise! After that weekend, I KNEW I couldn’t stay where I was.

I did the only thing I could do- I went home and tried to end it.

The impossible situation did not take it well. He didn’t listen to a word I said and basically bullied me into staying put longer than I wanted. It may seem devious, but I was cornered and I felt desperate. I made an escape plan. I started slowly “reorganising” things and subtly packing my things. One day when he was out, I had a friend come pick up me and as much of my stuff as we could fit (as well as my rather disgruntled cat), and I ran.

I left him a note on the table, explaining in detail why I chose to leave this way- because it was the only way I could get him to accept it- and went to stay with a close girlfriend, while I planned my interstate move.

Suffice to say, he didn’t take it well. Some furniture got damaged. I didn’t get my rental bond back. He accepted the situation after a few weeks though. His family didn’t think much of me or the way I did it, but frankly I don’t give a shit. They all knew he was punching above his weight with me. They all knew how bad I struggled with him and the hell he made my life and they did nothing.

I still speak to him infrequently. He vowed to fight to have my access blocked to his kids if I didn’t. While they are not my children, I do still love them dearly, and I made a promise to them to always be a grown up that they could come to when they need to talk to someone, if for some reason they couldn’t talk to their parents- and I take that role seriously. Kids wouldn’t struggle if they felt they could trust adults more.

If I had my way though, I wouldn’t. There’s nothing more to say.

She-Wolf x

Here’s the link to her blog: https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/155174584/posts/122

#IBD4U

Mechanic #4

I take Mechanic’s sunnies with me to work, I figure he’ll want them today, like I said I cannot survive without my sunnies for a minute so he’ll want them back, surely. I put them on & send a picture of me in them & say something cheeky about him leaving them behind. He makes a joke but doesn’t ask me to drop them off or ask to pick them up. Well he is at work so maybe he’ll want them back tonight.

It takes him almost another month to finally want to come pick up his sunnies, we’ve been chatting every day on the chat app, but I guess that him leaving them behind didn’t have any meaning, besides he actually forgot them. I love how my mind made that into something way bigger than it was. We chat about all sorts of things though, I talk to him about the kink that I’ve been getting into & he says that he’s interested in being ‘pegged’ (A woman using a strap on with a man.) It’s around this time too, that I am buying a lot of sex toys, so I buy a strap on online to see if this is something I am into. At this point in my life, I am open to trying anything a man suggests. Why not, this is all new to me as well.

The night he plans to come get them, he says he’s really busy at a friends then has to go to another friends also, he’ll pop in just for a drink but can’t stay. When he walks in with a whole bottle of Jack Daniels & 2 litres of coke, I wonder how much he thinks he’s going to drink. We talk for a while in the kitchen & the conversation flows easily over a couple of drinks, when he finishes his drink, picks up his bottles, says he’s running late to his friends house (yes that’s because he was also late getting to my house) & he gets ready to leave. I think surely he’s not going to leave without even kissing me. So I make a move. Yes unheard of for me, I never do that, I leaned in & kissed him, he kissed me back, so I grab the bottles & put them down, I feel like this is the last time I’m ever going to see him.

We move, kissing the whole way into my bedroom where we have sex, its quick & hot, not as good as other sex we’ve had but I still enjoyed it. He jumps up afterwards & says that he has to go. I am a little disappointed but he’s been saying this all evening. I’m not sure I believe it, I think that he’s not keen on me anymore.

We talk a little bit after that, but he never really makes an effort to chat to me when I try, which I do message first sometimes, to show that I am interested. But that doesn’t seem to help. He’s obviously not keen on me, or he’s found someone else, who knows what happens with men. I’m genuinely sad, but I have others I’m chatting to so I don’t let it get to me. However this guy was my dream guy…

A few months later, I get given a new car at work & it needs some plastic thing added to the front, they ask if I will take it to the dealer. I say yes of course, not realising what I am saying, then I immediately freak out. What if I see him there? Will he think I am stalking him – like some sort of weirdo? I go there, into the shop, trying to look casual but also trying to keep an eye out for him. Will he pretend not to know me if he does see me? Would he say hello? Would that spark the conversation online again? Would I have to message to say I’m not stalking him? OMG… Overthinking overload! I don’t see his car anywhere, but I am at a car yard, so there a hundreds of cars there, I have no idea where he would park. Thank god I don’t see him, though a part of me is a little disappointed too… I don’t know where he parks but I didn’t see his car either.

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Months later, maybe 12 or more, at my family dinner (which we have every Sunday night at my house since my nanna passed away) my brother in law starts to mention a single guy that he met on the weekend, he is a friend of a friend who came over to fix his car, he said to me that he’s single & British, my ears prick up. Then he says he’s got a hotted up Ford Ute, I ask if it’s purple, he says yes, then I say ‘Oh, I’ve already fucked him in that ute’ FUCK as if I just said that in front of my mum! That was an accident! (Sorry mum! -Though hope she’s not reading!) I show my brother in law the picture of him on he chat app & it’s the same guy. My sister said that he did do a double take when he met her. Oddly they tell me that his kid was playing with my nephew quite well. Errr, ok? He’s got a kid? He never mentioned having a kid. Why wouldn’t he tell me he had a kid? I was chatting to him for almost 6 months. Maybe I got this guy all wrong.

My brother in law tells me that he just broke up with someone (well that explains him disappearing) I figure he wasn’t cheating on his partner because he slept over one night & was at my house really late the other times. But assumed he met someone else. I wonder if that’s why the last night he was here, he was late between visits to his friends house & his new girlfriends? Who knows…

My family egg me on to message him on the app, I do asking him if the chick he met the other day looked familiar. It takes him a couple of days for him to reply to me & he says yeah he didn’t realise it was my sister, but Adelaide is a small place (yeah no shit). We chat a bit & for a few days but it fizzles out. While this guy was my perfect on paper guy, he’s not my perfect guy, you know, he’s clearly got issues, I mean who doesn’t tell someone they’ve met a few times & that they’ve slept over about a kid they have! I leave this one alone, even though it is a hard one to let go! He literally had my whole imaginary Checklist!

#IBD4U

Milky #7

We text a lot actually, at one point Milky tells me that I am good at sex (Yes… I love hearing that! Although, clearly I knew! hahaha) & we have banter about the bambillo empire I apparently have or of me falling of the bed that one time (like ages ago! Move on dude, these jokes are so old!). He shows concern for me when I tell him about a drunken night after a work function around Christmas when I was left on my own, ridiculously drunk, I remember falling over because I have bruises but I don’t remember how I got back to the hotel.

However after all the texting, it’s still another couple of weeks before we catch up again, at his house. Nothing exciting, yet again, we sit watch TV, drink wine & fuck. Wow, we’re like a fucking married couple unless I’m drunk AF! This is fucking bullshit. Literally the same position every fucking time we have sex… Where’s the guy who introduced me to a bit of kink? Lucky I am seeing other people, not like last time when I put all my eggs in one basket, so to speak.

However in the morning, he asks to see my ‘toys’ (you know, the kind in your bedside table!), he pulls them all out & basically uses almost every single vibe on me & also takes a fair bit of time whipping my butt with a flogger at the same time, so much so that I get some instant bruises. FINALLY! Some kink… Well done Milky! He’s redeemed himself! That was actually a lot of fun! I discover that I actually really enjoy a bit of pain – not for everyone I know, but it’s a thing I have started to enjoy…. I also love a bruise from being cheeky, maybe for a week afterwards & I smile every time I look at it!

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I am away a lot for work, so I don’t get much time to see anyone, so it’s yet another couple of weeks later before we catch up again, by this time I have also recently got a pool table, from my Nanna’s house as she has just gone into a nursing home & no one in the family wanted wanted it, I don’t really have room for it at my house, but it was my Grandpa’s who I never met because he died years before I was born, however I was a bit sentimental about this pool table, so I got it & put it in the middle of my lounge room! I have an L shaped lounge, so I was able to put in part of the lounge without disrupting my living much. I was going to put it outside but didn’t want it to get ruined being it’s like 40 years old or something! (How cool am I? Putting a pool table in my lounge room… I mean I am the perfect girlfriend!)

He comes over just before Christmas, I am just sitting on the couch drinking vodka (I usually have a rule not to drink alone, but I decide that since he might be coming over, I won’t be alone) Milky is not one to bail, he is dependable, so I know that he’ll be there later. When he comes over, he gives me a bottle of wine – a dessert type wine, which he gives me as a gift. I am a bit perplexed about the gesture but it doesn’t spark anything in me. If he’d done that a few months ago, I probably would’ve been picking out my wedding dress (well not really, but you get me… Hahaha) but I felt nothing, I didn’t even feel bad for not having something for him in return. Not even a box of regifted chocolates or anything.

We watch tv & eat dinner (pizza) as our usual ritual, we kiss on the couch, then have sex as usual at the end of my bed, with my legs in the air. But early hours of the morning, he gets up & I think nothing of it till I sleepily see him by my bedside, fully dressed & staring at me. He says that he’s been vomiting & he needs to go home. I, of course, agree, I don’t want to get sick. I message him later to see how he is but he says that he’s not any better & he ends up taking the Monday off work.

We text a lot over Christmas, he makes a Toblerone cheesecake & I say that I want one & he should make me one then invite me around. This year I am on the skeleton crew at work so I am working everything except the public holidays, as he’s now a contractor at his work, he has the time off… He tells me that he’s saved me some of the cheesecake but because I am working, he’s going to eat it! Jerk! (I actually wonder if he did save me some or if it was just banter! I’ll probably never know…)

We have banter over the fact that I only ever watch 9Life (a TV station basically of home improvement shows) & my new computer which I needed his help resetting – I have to eventually take the thing back to the store & replace it with my current computer, but he gets fired up about me actually taking the old one back & getting a refund because it’s faulty (It’s not turning on properly or holding charge.)

He asks casually the week before New Years about catching up on New Years Eve (err really?!). But I say that I’ll be too drunk to drive anywhere, I assume that he’ll want to stay where ever he is for midnight then we’ll catch up when I’m home like 1:00 am or 2:00 am. On actual New Years eve, he messages me to say “Hey still want to catch up later on?” at about 8:00 pm, I say I can’t drive (already drunk!) but I am a few minutes away from my house. Just before 10:00 pm he says he’s done & I say I won’t be leaving till after midnight (how would I even explain that to my friends) but he says that he’ll let me party & hopefully see me tomorrow night. Did he really think that I would leave a NYE party before midnight? I don’t see him obviously, but I get a happy new year text from him just after 12:00 am.

On new years day he asks me if I want to write a list of all the things I want to do, I think that’s a bit crass as I want my kinky life to evolve, (I am still relatively new to this but now I know a list is a common occurrence in a kink relationship, to establish boundaries & understand what each of you may or may not want to do) I tell him that my Fetlife has a lot of information on there & he should check that out, which he says that he has, but I should be more open with him.

We seem to bicker about the fact that he thinks I am not open with him, he can’t understand why when we’ve been seeing each other for months but like I say to him, he once he pulled out a rope, butt plug & flogger & all I said was that I am not ready to be tied to something so he put it away & never used anything on me that night, then we ended. Another time, he said he’d tie me up & cane me, I said I wasn’t ready for a cane & he didn’t do anything kinky that night either. So I am not as open as I want to be but can’t help it… I’ve never done a lot of this stuff before. I am in uncharted territory, I don’t know what to expect or what to do & he’s not a great teacher – when I say no to one part of what he suggests, I get nothing at all, so I’m reluctant to say anything. He says that it’s hard for him as he has social interaction issues & that’s why he doesn’t have a lot of friends but he also feels like I am so reserved with him. I tell him that besides Boyfriend over 10 years ago, he’s the longest I’ve ever slept with a guy, he says that because I have dicks pics being sent to me I must have a million guys interested in me. Is that what a dick pic means? Really? I always thought it was because the guy is a fuck wit! Hahaha.

#IBD4U

Mechanic #3

I don’t hear from Mechanic for a while, when he randomly starts messaging me again – well he’d been messaging sporadically but not as regular as he had been. So we chat a bit & he wants to see me again, I am not just going to just let him come over to my house & fuck him after all this time, he can meet me for a drink first – be a gentleman. I need to have some self respect here. It’s been over 2 months since we saw each other last, yes I was overseas for 4 weeks of that, but he could’ve seen me since I got back, I mean he could’ve even been consistently messaging me, but he hasn’t.

We meet at a different local pub to the one we initially met at, but still nearby my house, he dicks me around with what time he can get there, which fucks me off since I am giving this guy another chance. I’m there already (which I hate being first) when he rocks up, in his dirty work uniform (because he’s been doing a cash job for a friend that took longer than he expected, apparently) looking grubby, greasy & a little older (somehow) but hot as fuck! Whoa…

We have a couple of drinks at the pub, the conversation flows really easily, like there was no 2 month gap. He tells me how good I look & he wishes that he had time for a shower. I find myself piecing back together my life plan I had in my head with him.

He talks a lot about his new Ford ute that he just got, it’s a hotted up purple thing – I’m a Holden girl so he loses points for getting a Ford but it’s not a deal breaker, if it is as HOT as he says it is. He challenges me to drive it… I silently thank my dad for making my siblings & I all learn to drive manual cars when we got our licenses & I take Mechanic’s keys, kissing him quickly on the lips as I give him mine. I figure it’s ok for him to drive my work car being he works where these cars are serviced, so he’d probably driven it before anyway. I get in his car, put the key in & turn it, but it won’t start, I try turning the key with my foot on the brake, with my foot on & off the clutch. But I can’t work out how to turn it on. FUCK. I don’t want to look like a blonde bimbo who can’t even start a fucking car. He drives up next to me & winds down the window with a fucking cheek y look on his face, just as I find a power button. I press it & the car starts, it’s loud & sounds so good. I hear him laugh as I accelerate out the carpark, showing off, hoping I don’t fuck this up, I am in heels! & I’m trying to impress this guy.

We get back to my house & he is impressed. He says that he didn’t think I’d be able to start it without his left, let alone drive it & was surprised I even knew how to start it (well that was a fluke that I found the button but I’m not a compete idiot). But of course I didn’t tell him that my dad made me learn to drive a manual & all my cars have been manuals, I drive an automatic because that’s what work give me. But I just smile smugly. He asks if he can have a shower because he’s really dirty from working at his mates place, so he’s kinda covered in car grease. I get him a towel & show him to the bathroom. I get us both a red wine & wait for him to shower. He takes a lot longer than I would’ve if I had a shower at his house – but I hope that’s because he’s comfortable or maybe he just doesn’t give a shit.

He gets out & I’m waiting for him in my bedroom, so he walks in & I drop to my knees & suck his cock straight away as he lets the towel drop. We have sex, which is kinda wild sex including my 2nd experience with anal, before I say to him that I want to fuck him in that hot little car of his. I’m not really sure why, I mean we’re at my house in my beautiful king sized bed, we’ve both been drinking, but I think he likes that idea because minutes later we’re back in his car, me bra & pantieless driving down to the beach to fuck in this sexy ass car. We get to the beach, we kiss with such passion, to be honest I am probably more drunk than I should be for this, but we work it out in a tiny ute cab when I slide the condom on him & we fuck for a bit before he takes it off & cums all over my bare chest. I’m covered in cum when we’re done & oddly I kinda like it. I think that’s a first for me, a guy cumming on me, I definitely won’t just let any guy do this, but I do like it with him.

We go back to my house & we fuck again, drinking more, getting more drunk that I spill my red wine in my bed & all over my carpet in my bedroom. (The stain still remains!) Fuck I am more drunk than I realise & I wonder if he should’ve just driven us to the beach & back. I’m not sure how drunk he is. It’s 1:00 am when we stop this sexcapade session & he rolls away & he ends up sleeping over, so I’m assuming he’s either crashed out or he’s too drunk to drive or maybe, just maybe he likes me enough to sleep over.

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We wake up in the morning & I am a little worse for wear, I can’t believe this guy has slept over… It’s a school night too (aka weeknight). I basically begged Origin to sleep over & after months he still wouldn’t. This guy, I didn’t even ask nor did he ask, yet he’s just spent the night at my house, including spooning me a little. I like having a man sleepover – though I don’t sleep all that well when they do. I haven’t had a guy sleep over in a while. I am very aware not to let that poison my mind into thinking that I like the guy just because he sleeps over.

He gets up & has another shower, I am very aware now as I wake, that I slept covered in his cum (something kind of sexy & naughty about that), so I think about joining him in the shower but I chicken out, we’ve woken up late & both have to get to work. I wait for him to leave before I jump in the shower myself. When I get out, I see his sunglasses sitting on my chest of draws in my bedroom. Was that intentional? So that I have to message him? Or so that he’d have to see me again? He doesn’t seem like that kind of guy to play this game, I mean if he wants to see me, I think he’s the type to just see me. But I go anywhere without my sunnies, they are always on the top of my head, even at night sometimes… (Yes at night!) It hurts my eyes when I see other people squinting in the sun, so this must be a deliberate act, no one leaves their sunnies behind, surely?!

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Guest Blogger: The Impossible Situation

I hate the What If’s as I’ve said before in my What If blog post. I think sometimes we have to take the path that is there for us at the time… Timing is everything!

The Impossible Situation

So… I fell for my best friends ex.

We are now dating exclusively.

I know, I know- massive girl-code violation. Don’t hate me yet though.

He and I started chatting online. At first, he didn’t recognise me (it had been some time since he’s seen me). I knew exactly who he was and so did she. She even encouraged me to chat to him, if anything just to be a tease. He also had posted a photo she felt was inappropriate, and wanted to know what he had to say about it.

He and I continued talking, and – much to my surprise- actually had a lot of common ground. After all the fuckboys who were more interested in my cup size than my brain, this intellectual chatting was a breath of fresh air. He’s an artist, and asked for my to collaborate with him on a body of work. He came to the city to meet me and discuss ideas.

It was here that he first kissed me. If I’m being honest with myself, that was the moment things got heavy for me. That seemingly innocent, insignificant little kiss turned my world on its head- I just couldn’t admit that. I also couldn’t admit that, had we been somewhere more private- I would have jumped him then and there. But at that time, I couldn’t be honest with myself- so I got mad at him.

I knew there were very few ways that this impossible situation could turn out. Most of them were what I perceived to be bad at the time. So I fought against it. I knew I had to tell her. I agonised for a week over what to say. I was an absolute mess.

When I finally saw her and told her- she burst into fits of laughter. She told me that if I wanted to pursue something with him I could and that she had no problem with it. At this stage, I could only see myself being friends with him, and that was enough for me.

Part of me doubted him. From the stories I’d heard about him over the years, I just didn’t think that he was who he was when talking to me. I regarded him with a lot of scepticism and he wore it. He understood why I felt how I did.

He’d also read my blog, and thought more of me for being open and honest about my experiences. There was a confrontation about some online content between my friend and her ex and I got pulled into the middle of it.

At this point, I was so torn, because I could see and understand both points of view and I wanted to help both of them. I chose my friend that day and told him to back off me a little; to respect my boundaries and stay my friend without hoping for more.

He and I continued to talk. Even though things were terse between him and my friend, I just couldn’t stop. Talking to him every day was just habit now. We enjoyed talking to each other and sharing our day.

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My feelings changed completely when I got sick. I ended up in hospital and he rushed to my side, knowing I was scared and in pain. When I got out, he stayed with me for a week and cared for me, making sure I was comfortable and resting and not overdoing it.

He got nothing out of it except my company and he still chose to do it. When he did this, it opened my eyes to the side of him I point blank refused myself to see. I never wanted to think of him in terms of being someone I could be with, because he was my friends ex.

I couldn’t deny it anymore. I wanted to know just what potential we have.

I did what I felt was right and asked my friend. She gave me the all- clear and I followed my heart and pursued him.

Once we became a couple, things fell apart between my friend and I, as well as our mutual friends.

She wasn’t as OK with it all as if been led to believe, and now I was a traitor and a bad friend. Most of our mutual friends have been really passive aggressive towards me, which is beyond immature, seeing as we are all adults. I chose to ignore it all and try to be the bigger person, even though the venom hurt.

Here’s the kicker- I’m happier now than I have been in a long time, and I don’t regret my decision to date him.

We may not have got together in a conventional way, but the end justifies the means. I could have chosen to stay in my box and never aim for happiness. But I selfishly chose my own happiness and though I still feel guilt from time to time, the whole experience has been worth it.

He and I may last a lifetime; we may not even last a year- but I’ll never have to wonder “what if?”.

She-Wolf xx

Here is the link to her blog: https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/155174584/posts/54

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