I seem to start meeting more people on this anonymous chat app that is not for dating but just for social networking – mainly for teenagers, than I do on actual dating sites. However they are all so young, including a 20 year old guy who I nickname Bieber. He chats to me, I see it going nowhere because we are worlds apart, not just in age as I am in my mid 30’s, but he’s living with his mum (& we all know how that turned out! Refer to Batman). He works, I think as a mechanic apprentice but doesn’t really know what he wants to do. He obviously doesn’t have any assets, I’m not sure I had assets at 20 (actually I owned my car) I think he owns his motorbike but we don’t discuss his loan situation. I also don’t want children – which isn’t a big deal now & lots of younger guys say they don’t want kids either, but what happens in 10 years time when he’s 30, I’m 40 & can’t have kids plus I haven’t changed my mind but he has & then I’m single again but worse now, I’m in my 40’s! (Over thinker much? Yes! ) But I keep chatting to him anyway.
He keeps talking about catching up with me but I am reluctant when I do the sums & realise that I am almost old enough to have a 20 year old child myself! Yep, that’s a red flag for me. A chick in my class in year 10 did get pregnant, so if I was her, this could be my son!? OMG…
He also tells me that he’s going to be 21 soon & that he wants me to come to his party. OH MI GAWD! No way am I going to go to this guys 21st & meet his family & friends. Imagine him introducing me to his mother & her being around the same age as me… I mean how embarrassing. I am not this type of women, I don’t think I can date a guy that much younger than me. I don’t think I can get serious about this guy…
He messages me all the time, I pretty much only reply because I am a loser wanting some attention, he gives it to me, without me having to give too much back… Yes I am chatting to a few guys right now but they have lives or wives so I don’t chat to them all the time but fucking hell this guy is young! I notice it with the references we both use or whenever I chat to Max or Milky – I notice the difference in the depth of the conversation.
I don’t even know how it happens but one night, I am typing out my address for this dude, this kid to come over. WTF. He’s 20… TWENTY. We decide on dinner so when he gets there, we order pizza… He looks so young, but like a young Tom Cruise – sort of – he’s taller than me (which isn’t hard to be honest, I’m 5’3), darker hair, skinnier than I usually like, nice eyes, very cute. Just the type of guy I would probably go for, if only he didn’t look like a deer in headlights.
He seems to be a bit lost on what to do, when we’re sitting on the couch & I get up to get him a drink, he gets up & follows me to the kitchen. Kind of cute, but also a bit weird… He tells me that I am much better than my pictures & that he thinks I look really good. I feel like he’s buttering me up & it’s fucking annoying that I lap up the attention like a dickhead.
We eat the pizza & watch movies, while cuddling on the couch. I snuggle into him, this is when i forget how young he is, he’s just a guy with his arms around me, I feel safe & next minute I actually fall asleep on his shoulder. It’s late when I wake up & I realise that he’s not going anywhere but I’m so tired, that I just ask him to go to bed. I show him my bedroom & go to the bathroom, . He’s standing awkwardly in my bedroom when I come back, I feel like I have to be the dominant one, so I just get changed & he slowly undresses while i get into bed. Then he quietly slides into the bed, I switch off the light & feel him slide up against me spooning me. Fuck it actually feels good, but we go to sleep.
We wake up in the morning, kissing a lot & then we’re naked quickly, with a 20 year old, I’m expecting it to be over quickly & me left grossly unsatisfied…. However This boy has stamina! He fucks me for a lot longer than I could ever imagine possible for a 20 year old & he makes me cum multiple times… This is very surprising! Even more surprising being he was so submissive the night before following me around like a puppy, that he is quite a dominant in bed, not kinky dominant, but a nice manly dominant!
We message a little bit after the date, however he disappears after I say hard no to his 21st yet again, I am so not going to that… I am not heart broken or upset, I barely notice it to be honest since I’m chatting to so many men right now, though I am at a point where I don’t want any more bloody one night stands. However this was never going anywhere anyway.
A few months later, I get a message from him which I plan to ignore but I accidentally click on it so it shows that I read it. He tells me that he’s been quiet because he’s been going through some stuff. I Just assume the stuff is other women, so I say he doesn’t owe me any explanation, but he responds telling me that he was out riding his motorbike with his best friend who was in an accident & died, he couldn’t do anything but he saw the whole thing & watched his friend die. OH HOLY FUCK. I say all the usual things that you do when someone has died & tell him not to worry about me, that he should focus on himself. A few months later he messages me again saying he wants to take me out for a proper date. I ignore the message. I have moved on & am with real men… Or am I?