I must be a glutton for punishment, because just before Easter I stupidly reactivate my online account, finding ‘Sparky’. He says he doesn’t like typing, so we exchange numbers & he arranges to call me on Thursday night. I didn’t tell anyone about the call thinking that it wouldn’t go anywhere but we talked on the phone for 2 hours, he even said he’d been so nervous to call me that he’d asked his apprentice about what to say, who suggested to just to start with ‘how are you doing?’

He invited me out on the Saturday night for dinner & a movie. I wasn’t really nervous this time, I think because I hadn’t really told anyone about him, I did tell one friend because Sparky was picking me up from my house, he wanted to ‘do it right’ so the first time I was going to see this guy face to face was at my front door.

When he picked me up at my house, I didn’t know if I should invite him in or kiss him hello, so I did the awkward ‘come in while I grab my bag’ gesture & then we left. He tried to open my car door for me, but I was already basically in his car. That’s about when I started to get nervous because he was a lot better in real life than in his profile picture.

We arrived at the cinema & I suggested that we get the movie tickets before dinner but he said he came down to the cinema earlier in the day to get the tickets because he didn’t want to miss out, I thought that was absolutely adorable, especially since you can just buy the tickets online & I surprise myself by starting to really like this guy.

I said that I’d pay for dinner since he bought the movie tickets but he said no, he had invited me out so he was going to pay for the night. I actually felt really special! He wouldn’t do that if he didn’t think I was attractive! We shared a pizza & we talked quite comfortably, I felt at ease with this guy, even in the car we’d talked easily. The only sticking point was that he said he didn’t drink at all but I had already ordered a wine, I have a feeling maybe he is a recovering alcoholic, which is ok, it was just weird the way he said he doesn’t drink.

We had some time before the movie, so we went to arcade & played a few games of air hockey, which I thought showed how fun I can be, we cheered & egged each other on, especially since I lost all but one game, which I think was a fluke or he let me win! But I was actually having a really good time. We joked the whole night, at the candy bar, I wanted a frozen coke but he wanted whatever the blue flavor was so we filled up one cup to share with both flavors, his choice was gross & even he didn’t like it, but we had a good banter about it.

I actually felt good about the date, but I stupidly couldn’t bring myself to make the first move & kiss him goodbye as I got out the car & I didn’t invite him in for a coffee (which would have been awkward, I don’t drink coffee & don’t have any to offer him!) Even as I shut my front door, I mentally kick myself & that continues all week.

When Sparky initiates a text later in the week, I was pleasantly surprised & we text a few times, then on Thursday I finally build up the courage to ask him when he is free next for another date & I get the awkward good bye text ‘I’m going away for work… Can I let you know when I’m free? blah blah blah’

Here is it 3+ years later & I’m still waiting – surely he can’t be that busy?!




I met Pilot on an online dating site, I was so nervous to meet him because I hadn’t dated in a while, so I ended up going to the bottle shop during my lunch break for a bottle of wine so I could calm my nerves. On a warm Thursday night, just 2 weeks before Christmas, we meet at a pub, he’s there first so I walk up to him & there’s that awkward hello, the one when you’re not sure if you should touch, kiss on the cheek, shake hands or even worse, wave. We didn’t do any of the above and he was so shy, which made me shy (those who know me, know I am not really shy at all, but around boys I find attractive, I become a giggling school girl), so we stood there awkwardly.

Pilot barely made eye contact with me from the beginning to end of the date, he just looked at me out of the corner of his eye, which I wasn’t sure if I should be creeped out or not, needless to say at the end of the date, he didn’t kiss me goodbye, I honestly thought that was the end of him but by the time I got home, he’d texted me to say he had a good night.

We exchanged emails & started emailing back & forth, somehow we actually arranged a second date on the following Monday night for dinner. I thought surely this time we’ll at least share a kiss on the cheek when we said hello, but when I walked over to him, he barely looked up at me from his phone that I couldn’t make a move to kiss him on the cheek.

Stupidly I felt like I had met the perfect guy from my imaginary checklist: (every girl has one!)

  • British (my secret childhood dream)
  • well-traveled
  • Educated
  • Worked as a professional
  • Bought a house

It all seemed perfect. On the second date, he even went to get the bill, but secretly paid for dinner before I could do the awkward ‘pay the bill’ dance. We then walked to our cars but still, he didn’t make a move to kiss me goodbye.


Still we texted & emailed every day, however it was hard to lock in the next date, with Christmas looming, so on Boxing Day when we were texting, I thought I have to take matters into my own hands so I asked if he wanted to go see a movie, when he said yes, I bought the tickets online & we were off on our third date!

Again no kiss or touch to say hello, no touching or anything throughout the movie, which made me dread the goodbye yet again, but as we were doing the weird shy goodbye, Pilot said he had bought me a Christmas present (I had told him about how my family only give one Kris Kringle present). He said he left it in the car, so we walked to his car, me feeling even more awkward because we parked miles apart & he’s bought me a gift, what the hell could it be? He awkwardly gave me a bottle of wine, (that I suspect it was re-gifted) & it was probably the time for me to initiate a kiss, but I was so thrown by mixed messages that I didn’t do it.

I really don’t know why or how we continue to text & email each other but that continued into the New Year, when Pilot sets up a date but then bails the night before, saying he was really busy, I figure he’s just doing the back off. Yet he texts me the night we arranged to catch up “to see how I am,” I must admit, it was kinda annoying to be told he was too busy to see me , then was able to text me late at night. Against my better judgement, I mentioned to him that I was going to the German festival on the weekend & he said he wanted to go but didn’t have anyone to go with, I replied ‘You should come.’ He text ‘I might, I really want that kiss.’ Maybe he did like me?

I didn’t really hear from him a few days before or much the day of the German Festival, but I was wearing the perfect outfit that a friend had spent so much time putting together for me, I felt good, confident & was excited to meet Pilot for that kiss. As my friends & I were buying our second beer, though 6 degrees of separation in Adelaide, Pilot randomly bumps into us with his stunning girl, my mouth must have been on the floor, my friend even said that I had a judgey look on my face, but he introduces her as his cousin but I’m still caught off guard at how beautiful she was. I let him know we’re grabbing another beer & he says yes but as we go into one line, Pilot goes in another & I never see him again!

My friend decides that can’t be the end, she uses my phone to text him because she’s so angry that we lost him but he doesn’t respond, I drink myself into oblivion & vomit like a teenager.

Sunday morning I text him, just to see if he got my texts because festivals are renowned for having no mobile phone reception but still no response. Maybe he lost his phone?

Finally on Monday I email him to find out what’s going on but hours later I get the goodbye email ‘I’m really busy, blah blah blah.’

No flying off into the sunset for us!


About Me!

I’m a 30 something single Adelaide woman, born & bred in the southern suburbs. I love travelling, music, socialising, going to the gym (now, not earlier) & live events!

Being unlucky in love comes easily for me but it’s not as fun as it used to be especially when all your friends pair off, so you no longer have anyone to go out with. But when you somehow do manage to pry these people away from their partners & go out to what used to be a cool nightclub, you walk in & the place is empty, everyone there looks about 12 & cannot walk in their high heels. You feel stupidly old & overdressed in a top & jeans that cover your bum & boobs, but then all your friends want to go home at midnight to their husband or boyfriend, while you end up in the back of a taxi drunk texting someone or worse you end up in the front of the taxi crying to the taxi driver that you are never going to find love & he barely understands your drunken English.

I think the worst part for me is my immediate family, I come from a family of ‘lifers‘ (as I call them), You know the types, my parents got married late teens – still together, brother met his now wife 15+ years ago – they have kids, my sister met her now husband like 20 years ago – they have kids… Me…? Well I can barely get a dude that I’m not even sure I like, to go on a second date with me!


I’ve had one real relationship in my 30+ years, which lasted 3.5 years. Even though it’s been many years since we broke up, I fear he damaged me too much & that is why I have dating disaster after dating disaster, paired with a cliché after cliché from my friends. So many that I now have enough “funny” (according to my friends) antidotes to write a blog, so here I am!

Even though I will use pseudonyms for everyone in this blog, I’d really like to hear from guys that may think they are the guy or know the guy in these blogs & find out what actually happened in their mind. I’m happy to give them a right of reply, which I will publish if they want.

I am sure that there are other women out there, whether you’re in Adelaide or somewhere else in the world, who will relate to the things that I go through on a daily basis, who may feel alone but I hope that this will open your eyes to the fact that you are not alone, there are others out there & even though you keep meeting “Retards in Tin Foil“, I still believe there is a “Knight in Shining Armour” out there for all of us.