While reading my past relationships – can I even call them that? Were they just Situationships, textationships, FWBships… Well whatever they were, they were a part of my life & a part of me & who I’ve become… For the purposes of this blog, we’ll refer to them as relationships.
As I read the hundreds of stories, some of them for the first time since I published them, I had cringe moments of what the fuck was I thinking & why did I do that? Or why did I say that? I have so many questions about my actions, my part in the stories. & so many moments where in the moment, I felt like I was justified but reading back (& probably how you reacted) I just wonder if the whole sliding doors theory would’ve changed my whole life with one different decision.
But hindsight is a wonderful thing right? I can’t undo anything I’ve done & honestly would I change it? Maybe not, because then I wouldn’t be who I am… Which I feel is a pretty decent person. I’m not the best friend who writes back or makes plans – for those friends reading thinking that – but I mean I work hard, I’m honest & now I like to keep to myself with dogs.
So as I read the stories, I knew I wasn’t looking for anything, any significant things that stand out to make me a better person or change the way I am. After all these years, though I still have similar questions that I rhetorically asked in the blog posts… Why did he do that to me? Why did he say that? Why did that happened that way? & the big one, why the fuck am I still single?
This piece of social media gold, popped up in the form of a Tik Tok. I do follow Mel Robbins as she has a lot of good advice. This one in particular resonated as I read all of my blogs…
You already have closure – Their lack of honesty was closure. The way they treated you was closure. The fact that you don’t have an explanation is closure. The disrespect is closure.
So next is just a bit of advice that came up on my FB feed, I am not 100% sure who Cody Brett is but he seems like some sort if relationship coach. His website is unclear – there is nothing in the about me. However this came to me via a ‘for you’ post on FB & I read it & it resonated with me.
I know it hurts.
It’s a very strange feeling how someone can be in your life for months or even years and then one day… all of a sudden not be there anymore.
Maybe the relationship ended on good terms…. or maybe it was completely catastrophic.
Either way …. it’s so bizarre how relationships can change so vast and rapidly.
And you know what …. you may not be at peace with what happened between the two of you … and thats perfectly fine.
Sometimes the end of a relationship can literally be one of the hardest things we go through in life.
I want you to know it’s okay that your heart still hurts because of what happened.
You have made alot of memories with this person.
And these memories that you have made is something you can’t erase no matter how hard you try.
Whether you like it or not, they are a part of your story.
I know looking on these memories can be hard, and you may wish you could forget them.
But instead of forgetting, maybe we should try to focus on what came from the relationship.
You two joined paths for a particular reason.
Maybe you walked through some of the hardest times together.
Maybe you understood each other in a way no one else ever did.
Maybe you encouraged one another to be strong or to embrace who you genuinely were as a person.
Or maybe your relationship with them opened your eyes to what you truly needed in your life.
Regardless of what the reasoning was, it’s okay to acknowledge that …. that person meant a lot to you.
And it’s okay if they still do.
It’s also okay that they aren’t in your life anymore.
What alot of people dont understand is, not every relationship we encounter will last a lifetime.
You shouldn’t be lingering in the past questioning why everything happened the way it did.
What you need to do …. is to take what you’ve learned from that relationship and move forward in your life.
Knowing there are other relationships that will give you exactly what you’ve always dreamed of and more.
I need you to know that you’re not going to feel this way forever.
You will continue to move forward and you will continue to grow with everyday that passes.
Take my advice and remember ….
Sometimes the people you wanted as part of your story, are only meant to be a chapter.
~ Cody Bret
#IBD4U
I've Been Dating For You 