Marvel #29

February 2025

This month I discover an app that has replaced the anonymous app. It’s called something similar & looks almost identical, even being purple like the old one. I log on, thinking that surely, he has no idea about this app, but there is Marvel, with an exact replica post from the old app on the new app, two weeks ago, there is also one 4 months ago, 9 months ago, 10 months ago, 1 year ago & 2x from 2 years ago… Fuck me, 2 years!? I shouldn’t be surprised; this man always liked a chat with randoms. I know people say that he’s probably fucking other women, & let’s face it, he probably is & I have no doubt would if he could but I don’t really believe that he is currently. But I guess it’s just a bit of a shock that he’s been on here for 2 years & quite obviously exactly like he was on the other app, no disguising, thinking that I would never find it. I guess I may have it I had of gone looking for a similar app 2 years ago.

The only reason this upsets me is because I am here, free to chat. Free to converse with this man & here he is trolling to chat to other women, not for the love or so he can cheat, it really just fills a void in his marriage that was there long before they got married or I met him… I just get hurt because why doesn’t he want to chat to me? I get that we get sucked in, but why doesn’t he chat to me just a little more regularly? I guess it’s probably smart to keep his distance. But of course, I have to, don’t I – so I send a message on this new app & he never replies. I forget about the app a lot so forget to check it on it but when I do, he hasn’t posted again or replied to me.

Our schedules don’t match up a lot, so it’s the end of February before I see him again. Well they would have 100% lined up if he talked to me more or came online more, but being that he keeps his distance, it makes it hard to organise. He, of course always blames me for being a temptress & enticing him but doesn’t take long before I arrange to work from home again & he comes over, I have found my little slut choker & so I put it on, while searching for it I find my gold little glo mesh top which I put on with some black panties & I’m kneeling on the bed when he walks into my room, with him catching a glimpse in the mirror when he walks up the hallway. Even though I am fatter than I have been in a long time since he’s fucked me, I am feeling confident & I want him to feel it today. I undress him & while kneeling on the bed, I bend down to suck his cock.

We talk about him jerking off & what he thinks about – I am interested if he pictures it like a movie or more like I do & I picture that he is with me, when my hands touch me, I pretend they are his. He says that he is more like a movie for him, that he just thinks about me & jerks off. I love hearing that he pictures me, he doesn’t say every time, some times he watches porn & just jerks off, other times he watches porn & thinks about me doing whatever he’s watching to him & he jerks off. I find it so intriguing, I know people have jerked off thinking of me, because they’ve told me, but I love hearing that he is doing it even when he barely speaks to me.

Today he lets his guard down more than usual, in fact more than he ever has in this third time around – what is that all about? He hugs me which he doesn’t ever usually do after sex anymore. Like not just hugging but he runs his hands all over me & holds me tightly, like a proper snuggle. I like it but its weird… So unusual for him & I wonder if he is going to tell me he’s dying, because I’m so used to the ‘don’t get close to me’ mantra he told me constantly at the start. He talks a lot about his Facebook group & how much money he is making from it. Good for him. I’m so fucking jealous that my blog never made me money. But he has way more followers than I ever did or could hope for. When holding me, he tells me that he has made some videos & he took my advice (which I don’t really remember giving but I’ll take it), using his own voice to narrate it rather than AI. I am a smug bitch when he told me post coital, that it’s because of me that he had the courage to do it, that I am so glad he couldn’t see my face! He says that I gave him the confidence to do it – he does a smooth buttery voice, but I might be bias. Anyway after he leaves, I do end up stalking the page to see a video or two (ok, perhaps I watched everything I could find, even if they aren’t really on a topic that interests me that much, I love finding out info on topics that are interesting to him). His voice sounds good & he does a good job narrating the videos.

He was at mine for 2.5 hours, another weird thing because he normally rushing off when he cums saying to me to get back to work, however today, even though we fucked twice, he didn’t cum. He stopped himself from cumming then got up after we fuck the first time & the snuggle & said that he needed to piss that’s why he didn’t cum, he gets up to go to the bathroom, I think he’ll pick up his clothes & leave when he comes back to the bedroom (because he usually does), but he doesn’t, he gets back on the bed with me & snuggles again. We chat about my work because fucking hate this HR job & he supports me with the suggestion that I should probably stay there if I am settled & it’s not that bad – no one likes their work. But then again, I am not also making $1000 per week off Facebook. I do want to refinance & be settled a bit so I am not job hunting constantly, I will settle into this role a bit. He also tells me that his wife is now taking a weight loss injection & using the money he’s making from Facebook for it. He says that she wasn’t ever interested in the page until it started generating income.

He mentions something about our first meeting & we talk about my garlic breath, & he says that it was the sexiest fucking thing when I grabbed his dick & pulled him into my bedroom. I don’t remember leading him with his dick, but he said multiple times (not just today) that I did it & he remembers how sexy it was. I mean it does sound like something I would do now with him, but back then I’m not so sure.

Later that afternoon, he chats online more than usual, I tell him that he should record my erotica stories for me, his voice is so sexy but he says that he won’t – I secretly hope that he does & sends to me for a sexy treat, but it’s Marvel so I won’t hold my breath… I sent him a screenshot of one yesterday for another reason, so I hope that he will… The next day despite having told me he is busy (my biggest pet hate for people to say – you are not busy, you just aren’t prioritising me), but he chats more than usual again – I somehow tell him the story of Boyfriend & valentines day when I had the tiniest shred of confidence with him & he shattered it in an instant, I dressed in a nightie & waited in the bedroom with a beer for him & he laughed a weird laugh like what are you doing, then laid down & went to sleep. It was embarrassing & I have bad body confidence at the best of times, so the fact that he just laughed it off really cut me deep, I think still to this day.

Marvel tells me that one of his favourite qualities is our friendship & honesty, but it also boggles his mind why I still fuck him. Is he fishing for me to tell him I have feelings for him? Surely after all this time he can still see it in my eyes as I can see it in his? & surely after 5 years of this third affair,  he isn’t fishing for feelings? I ask why & he says “Because I have broken your heart multiple times, intentionally created distance in our friendship, and have multiple flaws in my personality (that I have always admitted Including my narcissistic traits and lack of empathy)” He also tells me that it scares him every time he comes back online, I ask why & he says “But I have intentially over the years purposely neglected our friendship online and in text form to stop either of us becoming co dependent on each other , and also selfishly for me just waiting for the day ‘hey Marvel, I’ve meet someone and I really want to make it work and for the time being we can’t see each other’ or however the fuck way you plan on wording and telling me you can’t have amazing sex with me” I am always scared that he will tell me that she knows & he can’t see me anymore too… He will 100% dump me without a second thought, again, I am not that delusional. He’ll log off & I will have no way to contact him & he’ll ghost me.

I do think about him actually choosing me, not because she finds out or because she leaves him, but because he chooses me. This is weird though, he is being so weird & I can’t figure out why or what is going on but something is different… I guess he picks up on it too because he tells me that he’ll stop being weird now – ironically, he doesn’t, the shit just gets weirder!

#IBD4U